photo credit: oskay

"Sure. I will try my best."

"Alright. I'll try to help you."

"Try this! It's real nice!"

"Try wearing this! I think it'll look nice on you!"

Ever used any of the sentences before? Or have you heard others using it? If you've caught the pattern, you'd have guess by now the most powerful self-sabotaging word is "T-R-Y".

photo credit: purplejavatroll

The dictionary definition of the word "T-R-Y" is to "attempt to do something". But strangely when people around me say, "I'll try to do this...I'll try to do that", I kind of have a strong gut feeling that they wouldn't really set their heart to do that something. Haven't you have that feeling?

When was the last time someone told you "I'll try to get it done" but when the deadline comes, he/she fails to submit their work?

You see, when we use the word, "T-R-Y" on something, we are actually giving ourselves an option not to do it. Or when we do it and we don't achieve the results, most of us would say "What can I do? I've tried but it just didn't work."

Sounds familiar?

Heck. In life, I believe there's only 2 categories when it comes to doing things and that is - you're committed 100% to achieve something or you're not.

There's no 'in-between' or 'half-half', don't you agree?

The biggest reason why I wrote this post is because I'm annoyed with people producing half-hearted or mediocre work.

Listen. Words we use on a consistent basis has a huge impact on the results we achieve we life. For someone who says "I'm afraid of this...I'm afraid of that" is very unlikely to be adventurous or daring enough to innovate and test new ways of improving something.

And for those who often say, "Let's do it!", you'll find them constantly on-the-go, achieving every possible results they could get their hands on.

Words have more influence on our life than we can ever imagine. You can't begin to imagine how different your life would be if you were telling yourself more of "I can" rather than "I can't" or "I'm not too sure". Get what I'm saying?

So if you will, take up a challenge to stop using the word "T-R-Y". If you mean it when you say you will get something done, just say, "I'll do my best". If you're half-hearted or 100% not committed in getting something done, just tell the truth (accompanied with a valid reason, of course). Are you up to this challenge?

Ever had the feeling that something is wrong?

It's the feeling when you go to the restaurant and you had to look at the price of the meal before you place an order. It's the feeling when you have to check your bank balance before you plan where to travel to next.

It's the feeling when you see your friend succeed in their careers or businesses and you don't. It's the feeling when your best friend gets the best position in the company even though you know that you are smarter than him/her.

Listen. The feeling is called 'discontentment' and it is laying in all of us. Chances are at one point of our time or another, you've experienced discontentment.

In fact in a recent discussion with my friends, I experienced this strange feeling when I spoke to a friend of mine who has a business that worked out better than mine. I know for a fact that my feelings are not driven by jealousy or envy. Rather, it's more towards 'discontentment'.

After we ended the conversation, I walked away feeling 'empty'. I felt as if I wasn't giving my best in my business and that's why it didn't work out as well as I thought it would be.

And now, I'm glad to experience that feeling again because it lets me know that even I've achieved my small goal of having a business, there's still so many things I can do to improve my business.

After this experience, I learned that discontentment is one of my primary driving force. And as I paid more attention to this feeling, it just dawned upon me that it's a strong driving force for the people around me!

Over the days, I took more action in a day than what I did in a week. I worked frantically (until my butt went numb from sitting too long in front of my laptop) and I slept little (at most only 6 hours).

If you were to look back in your life, you too might realize just how powerful the emotion of 'discontentment' is. It's the driving force that makes us say, "What the heck. Let's just do it. If he can do it, I can do it better!"

photo credit: pfala

Let discontentment be a part of the emtions that you experience for one day and experience the difference in results yourself. Would you be more motivated to do your work?

Well, I won't know but it's worth testing out.

I'm writing this post on finding a purpose in life because I realized many people around me not knowing why they do what they do in life - why they study, why they work etc.

At my young age, teenagers most probably are just out there having fun enjoying every moment of their life and I can't be wrong.

In fact in a small survey I conducted among 10 of my closest friends, I asked a common question of, "Do you know what you want in life?".

The results was unexpected. 5 out of 10 replied, "Don't know", 3 replied, "We're still so young" and 2 replied, "To make money."

I feel that finding a purpose in life is always important. A purpose is like the light beacon guiding us in times of darkness, doubt and uncertainty.

After all it was Harvey MacKay who said...

Failures don't plan to fail; they fail to plan.

Not knowing your purpose in life is like us traveling to a foreign city without any maps - we will get lost!

This principle is simple to understand and identify with. Yet, that's what many people do in life! They spend most of their life getting 'lost' and pretending that there's just something wrong with somebody else or their environment, never accepting personal responsibility for their failure or lack of success.

Often, people in life travel aimlessly. They follow what the society tells them to do or go. This can be seen in the typical working class society where upon graduating, the worker goes out to find a job, settle down and get promoted at work if he's really good. Nothing else.

That forms majority of the society, by the way, and I remember Earl Nightingale said that...

"Because most people react that way, it does not mean that it is the best way. It is just the...average way."

And as I end this post, I urge you, who is reading this post, to sincerely ask yourself the true reason why you are here, the purpose you serve. If only everything was the Matrix where a program is deleted if it serves no purpose, the world will be a better place where everyone plays an active role to the society...

Albert Einstein once said...

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results!

That makes absolute sense, isn't it? Yet the truth is the exact opposite!

I've seen many people doing the same things over and over again - like using the same words to sell to customers - and yet, they expect more positive results - like getting the sale. That's insane!

Frankly, I feel that being flexible and observant are the 2 most important traits a person must have to be successful in every aspect of their lives, especially relationship.

Let me give you an example which happened to me quite often.

Ever had your parents nagging at you to get something done? Does it work all the time? Obviously not!

You see, I have a mother who loves me dearly and I know she truly cares for me. At the same time, there are times when I felt that she would have gotten me to eat the fruits she cut (yeah, I know I'm lucky. Who else has mums who cut fruit for their child?) if she were to send it up to me.

I know that sounds a little bit demanding on my side but hey. Focus on my point for the moment.

You see, her outcome was to get me to eat the fruits. So instead of shouting at the top of her throat to get me to the kitchen to eat those freshing cut fruits, why not send it to me (oops, that's just an idea)? That way, she would have achieved her outcome.

And who knows, I might start feeling bad and I'll develop the habit to go to the kitchen for the fruits the next time she prepares them.

I mean, it's better than her to keep using the same approach - shouting - which doesn't produce the results she desire.

Of course citing myself as the example, there are many new habits I have to start forming this year. Habits like using a new strategy to have a stable income on the internet, habits like spending an hour each day devoted to family time (the only time I have with my family is during dinner because I can be quite a workaholic. Oops!).

Recently, I watched the movie, "Click!" by Adam Sandler again (probably this is the fifth time) and it dawned upon me that I've been neglecting my family at a certain extent as well (like Adam Sandler in the movie). And if I were to travel into the future (which is what Adam did), I see myself as a lonely person, living to regret not spending time with my wonderful parents whom I love deeply.

I realized that at any point of time, there are always aspects of our lives that we are neglecting which needs a change - usually in our thinking and then habits. Isn't that true?

After all, it is said that:

The results we get is determined by the actions we take. The actions we take is determined by our habits and our habits is determined by the way we think.

Is there any aspects in your life that you could change in the new year? Health? Relationship? Wealth?

Take a minute or two to share 'what you think' in the comments below.

photo credit: gcoldironjr2003

I want to be frank with you. The idea I'm about to share with you regarding "How To Get Promoted At Your Present Job" didn't come from my working experience. The closest I've ever gotten to working in a job for someone else was during my school holidays, which was 1 and a half years ago.

Back then, I was working on a temporary basis in a data entry job. So obviously, I don't have the experience to tell you how exactly you can get promoted at your present job. So where did I get the idea from? Here's where...

Yesterday as I came back from work, I plugged into my MP3 player and listened to Earl Nightingale's "Lead The Field" (like what I always do when I travel) where he talks about "2 Steps To Increase Your Value".

He introduced the idea that there are 2 steps to increase our value, one of them being...

"...Concentrate on what we now do until we've grown to the size that will fit and naturally earn the income we seek."

So the secret to getting that promotion can be summarized into just 5 words: "Grow Out Of Our Job"

I find this idea interesting because it sounds so logical and simple. Summoning the experience I got from my military school, I could easily recount situations where this idea took off in my reality.

In our military school, the only way for us to graduate from it is to pass all the tests they had. And while that's what most trainees strive to do, there are always the top few people who are willing to put in the extra effort to do their best in whatever they're doing.

Naturally, whenever there's a rotation in trainee leaders, our instructors would always select them to lead their fellow trainees for a significant length of time.

And because our leaders are chosen by the trainees themselves (us), I realized that the person who puts in the most effort in their daily work often gets the role.

How about you? Can you recall such situations where this simple principle came into play?

I believe this same principle can be applied in the workforce - that if we want to be promoted at our present job, all we ever need is just to put in that little extra effort and go that extra mile to seek the promotion. What do you think?

If you've ever wondered how presenters appear to be totally confident in front of the stage, how some of your peers seem so influential and powerful, beaming with confidence, you've got to check out this audio series.

Part 1

In Part 1, you'll learn about the biggest misconception about "Confidence" and what it really is. At the same time, you'll also learn the first tip out of the 7 Tips on How To Be Confident.

Click the play button below to Listen To Part 1


Download (Right-click, "Save As"): http://www.dominictay.com/audio/confidence_1.mp3

When you've finished listening to this audio, you are welcome to drop your comments below...

(NOTE: Yes Man Trailer at the end of this post...)

The Yes Man movie started off showing Carl (Jim Carrey) as a person who gives excuses to virtually any opportunity he's presented with.

"Would you like to join us for our band tonight?" No.

"Could you approve my loan?" No.

"Could you...Would you..." No! No! No!

What's worst is that Carl is a bank officer who virtually denies every bank loans that individuals requests from him.

While I was watching the show, I can't help but think of some friends who behave exactly like Carl - saying 'no' to testing out new things, saying 'no' to speaking up. And the more I progress into the movie, the more I realize that there are times I'm guilty of that as well.

"When you say 'no' to an opportunity, you are saying 'no' to life..."
- Quote taken from Yes-Man Movie

Read the quote above again if you haven't. Doesn't it make sense?

Many people out there are afraid of saying 'yes' to testing out new things and to speaking up. They are afraid of what's going to happen if they did - whether they would embarrass themselves or whether they would end up wasting their time.

And throughout the movie, I like it best when Carl discovers that:

"An opportunity can come in any shape, form or sizes."

Isn't it true? Of course!

A car at the side of the road is an opportunity for fellow car drivers to show their courtesy. An old lady crossing the road is an opportunity for passerbys to show their kindness. A trip out with your friends could be an opportunity for you to meet another new friend of his/her.

You get what I'm saying?

Of course, I'm not saying that you must be a Yes! Man/Woman to the extent of how Carl does it (if you've watched the trailer, you'd see him crazily saying "Yes" to penis enlargement) but rather, to open up to more possibilities of an exciting life.

Afterall, all of us always have the choice to look at something at both sides of the coin - either positively or negatively.

Because of my never-dying desire to grow, I treat any movie, books or reading materials I come across as a tool to grow and learn from. The Yes! Man Movie has made me realize the importance of seeing the possibilities (what can be done) rather than the calamities (what bad would happen out of it).

Now back to the Yes Man Movie.

Carl went on a self-help program that literally forces him to say "YES" to every opportunity in life. And slowly, Carl becomes a totally changed man, that's right, he became the Yes! Man.

He started volunteering his services to the homeless, he started meeting new people (not to say he got into a fight after kissing one angry man's girlfriend) and he started saying "YES" to life.

Gradually, he becomes the people magnet (people enjoy themselves around Yes Man, Carl) and he even met a spontaneous girl that brought him so much fun and laughter.

That's only the beginning...

Later on, his girlfriend discovers that he's had to say "YES" to everything and starts doubting his sincerity in their relationship...

A-ha. That's all I can ever say. You've got to check out the movie yourself for the rest...Anyway, here's the trailer if you haven't seen it:

Go ahead and share what you truly like about the movie below. And if you have any positive learnings from the movie (or just the trailer), go ahead and post it in the comments below. You could do that, right? (Say......... "YES!")

Hi there!

Congratulations for dropping by my Personal Development Blog. The fact that you're already here goes on to show that you know you can achieve even more out of life.

And as my way of saying "Thank you for visiting my personal development blog", I would like to invite you to join my weekly mailing list to get FREE 'weekly doses' of inspiration and motivation. Would you be like to sign-up now or later after checking out some posts on my blog?

Subscribe Now

photo credit: Georgio

Different people have different definitions of success. To the general working class, success could be getting that car, getting that dream house or getting a certain sum of money.

To salesman, success could be having more customers, earning more commissions or getting more sales.

How about you? What is your definition of success?

I've not spoken or seen you before so I can't tell what success really is to you. But 80% of the time, most people would relate their level of success to achieving a certain financial goal.

Sounds boring, doesn't it?

How about let's see 'success' in a totally different point of view? Feel what impact it would have in your life if you were to perceive success this way.

Doesn't it make sense? When I first saw 'success' in this light, it made my brain go, "Wow..." Now, did it have the same impact on you?

You see. Many people in life go around achieving this goal and that goal. And after achieving these goals, they realized, to their surprise, that the achievement did not make them feel happy at all. Experienced this before?

Let me give you a good example.

Did do you think Richard Branson felt when he sold his Virgin records for a billion dollars.

Make a guess. Did he feel happy? Elated? Ecstatic?

Well, the exact opposite is the truth.

He felt so sad he was crying as he held the billion dollars? Why? Because he sold a business that brought him fun doing it.

I once heard an internet marketing guru said this, "You must have fun before you can have fund."

I heard before many working professionals who said, "I would do things I like once I get enough money to retire." And usually, they end up feeling tired, unhappy and grouchy. Why? Simply because they would never get the kind of money they think is 'enough'.

So they end up doing work they don't like for the rest of their life, feeling unsuccessful.

I'm about to throw a challenge at you right now. Are you ready?

Challenge yourself to do what you love and get paid for it. If you love writing, start writing and charging people for a fee. If you love singing, start recording mp3s or teach other people how to sing, and get paid for it.

The only way to success is to first understand what's fun to you, and doing it for the rest of your life and getting paid for it.

Are you up to the challenge?

Success is moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm
- Winston Churchill

photo: hans.gerwitz

You may have heard or seen this quote being used commonly in many personal development materials. But is that really the truth? What I've discovered is that it's far from the truth - To many people, they behave as if failure IS an option.

In fact, if you have noticed, some people's pattern in life is to give their ‘best shot'. But when they do not achieve their initial goal, most of them just stop and give the classic excuse of, "I've already done my best."

Then interestingly, there will be another group of people whose pattern in life is to give their best shot. And when they do not achieve the results they desire, they will try again and again. But because they are always doing the same thing, the same way over and over again, they always get the same results that they don't want.

Out of exhaustion and disillusioned, they will then say, "I've tried over and over and over again. But I just can't achieve the results that I want. What else can I do?"

Although the second group of people puts in more hard work and time, they still achieve the same quality of results as the first group. And what is even similar is that both of them will eventually condition themselves to accept ‘failure' as their end results, based on the common excuse that they have already done their best.

You see. While many people want to succeed, only a few are truly committed to succeed. Why? Because it is a lot easier to accept failure then it is to continue to fight on to achieve success.

But again, there will always be the third group of people who would do whatever it takes to succeed. To them, achieving success in whatever they do is a must. They are people who are truly committed to achieving their goals and they would not have qualms in changing the way they do something until they experience success.

Do you know how Bill Clinton become so successful? Was it because of his eloquence? His ability to influence the people? Of course. At the same time, it is something more than that. It is his attitude.

It was said that before he became the President of the United States, he would go around talking to people and sharing his vision of a peaceful nation with them, even late in the night. Whenever he sees a potential voter, he would zoom in and start a conversation with them.

He did not see failure as an option. He knew that he had to win the election so that he can be in a better position to materialize his vision of peace. And even after leaving the Presidency office, he has been involved in public speaking and humanitarian work.

Alright. It's now time to ask you this one important question. Which group of people do you belong to? Are you like majority of the people who accept failure as an option? Or do you constantly tell yourself that you must succeed, and you make sure that work towards your goals?

If you find yourself belonging to the third group of people, let me congratulate you. It means that you are already on the road of manifesting your dreams.

If, however, you find yourself falling into first 2 groups of people, do not worry because that's the reason why I came up with this personal development series - I want to help you make it a must to succeed.