Don Filer

Hello 2012

2012-01-23T07:39:00.001-08:00

Starting off another New Year and lots of tragedy in the news. Italian cruise ship capsized on its side; Penn State Football coach suffers personal tragedy is diagnosed with cancer then dies; Gabby Giffords resigns from Congress and we’re all a year wiser. The race for the Republican nomination for president is providing lots of entertainment too (I’ll keep my opinion to myself). The San Francisco Forty Niners had a good season, the Oakland Raiders did not and the Raider’s owner passed away.

We got a new fence thanks to my son Kevin and my daughter-in-law Natalie. Natalie’s brother Matthew did most of the work. The fence looks great now. Natalie is finishing her Masters degree in Psychology and Kevin is working his way through the MBA program at the University of San Diego. They both love San Diego and miss being home with family too.

My daughter, Michelle, is making preparations for her July wedding and starting the second half of her Nursing program. My kids are all grownups and it’s kind of weird.

My sister, Vaughn, is recovering from cancer and six weeks of radiation treatments. That got my attention and I finally honored the requests of several doctors and nurses to have a colonoscopy done. I should not have worked so hard trying to avoid it. It wasn’t worth all the trouble. So if you are stressing over this procedure, don’t. I think the two day preparation and problem making a successful IV connection were the worst part of it.

My brother Mark is having a hip replaced and getting prepared for retirement. We’re all a bunch of ‘old farts’ now. I am trying to keep a positive outlook, although you might not be able to tell from this blog entry. I will be attaining an age I never thought I would reach and I am humming the Beatles song “When I’m Sixty-Four.”

Letter from Shelley on 911

2011-09-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

Hello family,

Just thought I would share with you what I saw today while traveling from Santa Rosa to Livermore, to Manteca, and back to Santa Rosa:

Today I saw two things that really struck me, first, the amount of American Flags everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Our entire neighborhood had their flags up, almost every freeway overpass had an American flag either standing on a flagpole or hanging down over the overpass for oncoming traffic to see. The more affluent communities, like Danville, San Ramon and Alamo, had beautiful live red roses intertwined on the overpass railings for the drivers to enjoy, with small flags inbetween the roses, and a huge flag hanging down in the middle. In Tracy there is a huge cross that is burned into the landscape, it says "Jesus saves", and it had 8 American flags all around it. In Vallejo at the marina, all the boats had their American flag flying at half mast. In Manteca the city purchased 2,000 (yes I did say 2,000) 8' American flags that were standing 15' apart all the way down main street on both sides, and all the way down the center of town on both sides. The city had installed small flag holders into the sidewalks. Wish I had my camera for that one, it was amazing, talk about small town patriotism, and with the wind gently blowing, it really captured your attention. Amazingly, on one freeway overpass there was a Priest or minister holding and waving a large American flag with one hand and pointing to Heaven with the other. No joke.

When Kevin was in Afghanistan I started to notice the American flag much more than usual, and of course it took on a whole new meaning for me. Suddenly I was seeing the flag everywhere I went, having never paid much attention before he was deployed. Now I can't take my eyes off of the flag when I see it. Not only does it remind me what a great country America is, but also how proud we are of Kevin and all the other soldiers out there, and how lucky our family is that Kevin came home safely, unlike many other soldiers who didn't come home alive, may they rest in peace.

Here is the 2nd thing that struck me today. My spiritual self loves to notice white birds, especially Egrets, and Egrets love to hang out on both sides of Hwy 37 and along my drive to the Benicia bridge while I am driving to visit my parents. The reason a white bird, especially one that is in flight, captures my attention so much is that it makes me think of the Holy Spirit. It makes me think that someday when we all die, we will be free and in flight in heaven, just like birds are here on Earth. When I know someone who has just died, like our friend John Sutherland who died recently at age 62, and I witness a beautiful white bird in flight, it makes me think of that person, and that they are free now. It's kind of hard to explain, but the bird is telling me that the person's spirit is out there and very happy.

So of course, I look high and low for my friends the Egrets, and do I ever see any? No, hardly ever, and if I do see them, there may be one or two, or perhaps on a good day there will be 3 along my drive. But not on this day, Sept 11th, the 10th anniversary of one of our nation's worst tragedies. Today I see literally HUNDREDS of Egrets, many in flight, along Hwy 37, some beautifully gliding right next to my car, and I can tell you that what popped into my mind was the spirit of all those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. What an unbelievable sight, reminding me of all whose lives were lost on that tragic day. We have lived in Santa Rosa since 1988, and never until today have I ever seen hundreds of Egrets along my drive. Funny how God reminds me of his Holy Spirit.

Love to all,

Shelley

My How Time Flies

2011-07-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

It’s ~~June~~, ~~July~~, August already and only my second post this year! Time to catch up.

Kevin and Natalie are now residents of San Diego where Kevin will be teaching ROTC at University of San Diego. He and Natalie are within visiting distance again.

Michelle and her beau, Jason King, got engaged! Very romantic -- at our house so we had a front row seat of the whole thing. Very sweet.

Our elected officials have decided to “play Chicken” with the economy over raising the debt ceiling and balancing the national budget. The Japanese women won the World Cup! More news anchors coming and going. Adios Elliot Spritzer from CNN.

One of the first papers I wrote in my first college English class was an essay on Freedom. 40 years ago I thought freedom wasn’t really free. I believe you have a responsibility to bear in order to be free. Obeying the law, because we are a country of laws, etc., right down to telling the truth and doing the right thing.

That’s pretty much pie in the sky now days. I am saturated with news about folks telling lies and twisting stories to avoid discovery or gain in stature somehow; or worse. If more naive people like myself, would believe the responsibility they owe is for the freedom they earn for “playing fair,” this world would be a better place.

I quoted the book “Easy Rider” (and confess that I saw the movie first.) It was an early independent film and is a classic. There are some interesting things about freedom in the book and I encourage you to get a copy and read it. Or you can see the movie online.

Beware the Ides of March

2011-03-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

Were it not for Julius Cesar by William Shakespeare I wouldn’t know what the Ides of March was.

It has been a few months since I added to my blog and I’m long overdue. There have been so many tragedies the first few months of 2011; it’s hard to know where to begin. In January a lunatic shot congress woman Gabriele Giffords in the head at point blank range. In February, the Middle East was smitten with a revolt by people who decided to take matters into their own hands with the help of social media, overthrowing the leaders of Tunisia and Egypt; and still trying in several other Middle Eastern and North African countries as of this writing. Then March 11^th Japan endured a 9.0 earthquake, massive Tsunami and multiple nuclear power plant melt downs. This has been Apocalyptic.

Some folks predict the position of the lunar orbit on March 19^th will cause more catastrophes. Like we haven’t had enough already?

Looking back to an archived post, I predicted the economic downturn and severe unemployment when I suggested we would all have to figure out how to get along with less but no way did I see these disasters coming. The magnitudes of the crisis in Japan exceeded everyone’s worst-case scenarios. Our own reactors are built to withstand a 7.0 earthquake. We didn’t foresee a 9.0 and we are in trouble as well if we get one that big. Tsunamis are fairly rare but we have seen two devastating occurrences of these tidal waves in 7 years.

Even the anti-nuke folks never imagined multiple power plants failing simultaneously which might result in uninhabitable regions of the Japanese island nation for all eternity. Who knows, Japan could become its own solar generator. The events are almost unfathomable. I thought last year’s BP gulf oil spill was the worst catastrophe of the modern era but these events eclipse even that.

Natural disasters, like other miracles in our lives, are always difficult to understand.

John Sutherland – Rest In Peace

2010-10-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

After I graduated from San Francisco State in December 1975, I went back to playing the drums at Spider Murphy’s in Old Sacramento with a band called the Night Owl Express. The first real gig that came along after SF State was a Technical Writing job in San Ramon for a company called Multisonics in 1976 and that’s where I first met Bruce Odelberg. Bruce and I struck up a friendship and he suggested I move into the old 19^th century house in Sunol with him to share the rent. There were four of us living there at that time, Bruce, myself, John Meyers and John Sutherland. The house was very large, great for parties and we each had our own rooms.

Sutherland was a friendly guy and we hit it off right away. John was very likeable and a fun-loving, laid back individual. We were all the same age and John worked nights for Yellow Freight while Bruce, John Meyers and I worked in the daytime at Multisonics. John was especially kind to me making sure I was included in many social activities. He had a great sense of humor and figured out early in life that his ego didn’t matter. Everyone who met him liked John; he was a lot of fun to be around.

Money was pretty tight for me in those days and I remember it was John who loaned me the money to go to Great America on one occasion. He gave me a pair of work boots for a fishing trip we took in the Sierras. The three of us spent a good amount of time camping, fishing and hanging out together.

On one fishing trip to the Klamath River, John brought his bride-to-be, Lynn and the four of us (John, Lynn, Bruce and I) slept in the same tent during our week long trip. We not only fished for steelhead we caught quite a few and Bruce’s mom and dad smoked the fish at our campground.

A few months after they got married, I married my wife Shelley; Bruce was my best man and John was a groomsman in the wedding. We bought a house in Dublin just down the street from John and Lynn and shared many weekend barbeques at the Sutherland home. We had a few margaritas too. Some of the best times in those days were spent with John and Lynn. Once, John decided to use gasoline instead of lighter fluid to start the barbeque; I think he used it to kill weeds in the lawn too. Shelley and Lynn cracked me up when they posed for a picture, each wearing half of the same pair of broken sun glasses.

It wasn’t long before our families grew. First with the birth of their son Ian whom Shelley used to visit as often as she could and then with our son Brian. Our second son Kevin came shortly after Lynn gave birth to the twins, Sadie and Lucy and by then the Sutherlands had moved to Pleasanton and Shelley and I were living in Livermore. I remember visiting John and Lynn and giving them a box of condoms in case they were having too many babies. We all laughed. John was a good husband, father and a great son. After his mom passed away he would spend time with his dad whose health was failing.

Some of my favorite music came from John. He introduced me to the Story of Jesse James which is a compilation of songs by a variety of artists including Johnny Cash that retells the legend through songs.

Shelley and I moved to Santa Rosa after our daughter Michelle was born and would stop in to visit John and Lynn on our annual holiday sojourns to Livermore. When they moved to Redding, we stayed in contact with Lynn with annual Christmas cards. Our kids grew up, went to college, got married and started families of their own.

So we were greatly surprised and saddened to hear that John passed away on October 5^th, 2010 at the age of 62. Be thou at peace.

Summertime Blues

2010-08-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well I got down from my perch again last month and went to Washington via Alaska Airlines to visit with my daughter-in-law and son who just returned from a 12 month deployment to FOB Ramrod Afghanistan. It was like a vacation for Shelley and I. We stayed at the Ramada in Olympia and had a very pleasant time. We attended the 5th Stryker Brigade’s welcome home ceremony at Fort Lewis and saw Inception with Kevin and Natalie. It was a ton of fun being with the reunited newlyweds.

The kids looked very sharp in their ball getup. Natalie was smashing and Kevin looks so cowboy in his Stetson.

Uncommon Courage

I am always very thankful to hear others thanking me or my son for our service to the nation. I also really appreciate how uncommon it is that young folks have the courage to put their lives on the line in service to our country. It isn’t the natural thing to do. It’s a lot more common to avoid any life threatening risks at all. Are you crazy? Putting your life on the line to protect someone else’s freedom? Freedoms that you don’t actually have while performing your duty? It’s nuts and it’s scary. So think about the kind of courage it takes for the men and women who put on a uniform everyday to save your life, and risk their own.
.

U.S. Army Weather School

2010-07-08T09:19:00.001-07:00

I enlisted in the U.S. Army on August 20, 1967 after graduating from High School in Concord, California. I spent 8 weeks at Ft. Bliss, Texas doing Basic Training and arrived at Ft. Monmouth, New Jersey in late October for 19 weeks of Meteorological School. I don’t remember a lot about the school itself other than it was broken into 3 sections. Surface Observations, Micro Meteorology and Upper Air. The few classmates’ names I can recall are: Garry Patton (from Louisiana), Kenneth Cain (from North Carolina), Robert Rash (from Pennsylvania) and twins Danny and Ranny Wright (from Indiana). I believe my class began in October and graduated in February or March of 1968. I have some photographs of my class hidden in the garage somewhere and I will try to find them. I was very fortunate to be promoted from E-2 to E-4 upon graduation and assigned to Ft. Huachuca, Arizona where I began my 93E-20 career as a Surface Observer at Libby Army Airfield. I also lucked out and was sent on two TDY assignments. The first to Searcy, Arkansas and the second, to Colorado State University for a hail suppression R&D project. The other members of that team included PFC Larry Webb, SP4 John Kelley, and PVT Brazil (an OJT 93E). The first Sergeant at HQ & Met Support Company at that time was 1SGT Gonda who was replaced by SFC Kenneth Beth and the Activity CO was LTC Lin-Harris.
We had 4 Forecasters at that time who shared the LAF duties but I can’t remember their names. I do remember they were E-7s, three of which were Specialists; something the Army has eliminated. Some of the NCOs I do remember the names of include: SSG Gieger, SFC Rust, SSG Bordine and SSG Escobar. My counterparts in surface observations included: John (Skosh) Whitten, Drexel Sterling, and Daryl Sartanowitz. About a year after I arrived, the company lost its Company Clerk and since I knew how to type, I was recruited to take his place. Not long afterward the Meteorological contingent moved from the newer brick buildings to the older refurbished wooden quarters. We also had a Micro Met facility and Rawinsonde building just up the road from the airfield. Before moving the Meteorological Activity to White Sands Missle Range, we also did special projects on post including monitoring surface observations during drone tests at Laundry Ridge as well as special Rawinsondes for the effects of dew on microwave signals.
My luck continued as waves of new 93E-20s arrived and were sent to Viet Nam, Ft. Wainwright, Alaska and Tule, Greenland but I had it pretty good as a married E-5 living on post at Ft. Huachuca. Since I was the Company Clerk I did not have any “extra” duties like CQ. I did however have a “moonlight” job as a drummer. First in a Country Western band called the Star Lighters with Bill Morris and then in a rock band called the Earth Diggers. The later was made up of members of the 36th Army Band at Ft. Huachuca. So my day job was doing morning reports and administrative duties, while at night I was keeping the beat at the NCO, EM and Officer’s Clubs as well as off post night spots. I was ultimately replaced by a real company clerk and not long after got out of the Army in August 1970.
I went to San Francisco State University where I earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration after two years at Diablo Valley College. During my last year at SF State, I took the most advanced Meteorology class the school offered and with plenty of competition from math and science majors, maxed the class. It really wasn’t fair my military weather training was a strong foundation and stout by comparison. I had a successful career working for several high-tech companies including Hewlett-Packard and think the background I got in Meteorology, which I still love to this day, had a lot to do with it

Aufwiedersehen Zweibrucken

2010-04-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

Aufwiedersehen is a wonderful way to say adios or goodbye. So many wonderful memories come flooding back when I read this word.

On 18 March 1945, Zweibruecken (which means two bridges in German) was first occupied by American Troops. Three months later, by the end of June 1945, the French Garrison took over the kaserne, the German word for fort or base. The four buildings were restored and named Turenne Kaserne. In 1953 the French Garrison was transferred to Niederauerbach Kaserne and in turn Kreuzberg was restored and enlarged by American troops. After completion of the project, Kreuzberg Kaserne became the Personnel Replacement Center of the U.S. Army Europe and as an Army brat, was my home from 1960 through 1964.

In 1957 additional buildings were erected and the first (German Army) Bundeswehr unit, the 914th Transportation Battalion, moved in. In February 1959, the Transportation Battalion was transferred to Niederauerbach Kaserne and the 931st Transportation Battalion moved into the German part of Kreuzberg Kaserne.I can still remember the German troops singing as they marched through the housing area very early in the mornings.

When I left in 1964 it was called Turenne Kaserne. I don't recall any notification that the name was changed to Kreuzberg Kaserne and the reason for my confusion. Imagine the name of your hometown being changed while you were away.

Inevitably, all those military installations in occupied Europe would eventually be vacated and lapse into ghost towns. The properties reverted back to German control and many buildings on those sites were demolished and new establishments built.

The closest thing to a pub to our housing development was the Jagerhof where many of us had our first pizza and beer. While we were not supposed to drink if we were not 21, not much monitoring was done in those days and for the most part everything was kept pretty tame. The Jagerhof

Profanity Prevails ~ the Sound is Deafening

2010-03-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

I've seen two of this year's Oscar award-winning films, Inglorious Bastards and Precious and have to say these are not appropriate movies for youngsters. The first was directed by Quenton Tarantino so I would expect it to include extreme cruelty and horrific violence. What I didn't expect, because so much of the dialog is in a foreign language, is the use of subtitles would be necessary. I don't see all that well so that kind of puts a damper on things, at least for me. Tarantino, obviously fantasizes about evil. He has produced several films that are full to the brim. Precious on the other hand, probably out F-bombs any film produced to date. Some of the acting is wow-good but it sure isn't an uplifting story by any stretch of the imagination. I'm thinking maybe I 'm more an Avatar kind of audience. We shall see. I'm also aware the studios seem to mix the DVD sound and soundtrack in a way that my volume is always messed up. Either the background sound is too loud or the dialog impossible to hear. Among the other acclaimed films this year are Hurt Locker and Invictus and I've heard both are very good. I'm expecting Hurt Locker will have plenty of violence (how could it not?) and probably plenty of profanity too but maybe Invictus will spare me.

I remember the first movie I saw where the F-word was used; it was M*A*S*H, believe it or not and I was in the Army. I remember a big hubbub about the on-post theater being able to show it because of its focus on suicide and the use of the F-word during the football game. That was probably 30 years ago and look how far the entertainment industry has pushed the boundaries of sensibilities. It isn't confined to just the entertainment business either. It's in publishing, books, magazines, online, you name it. Our society has become more decadent and corrupt as the days pass by. (This has the sound of "The Fall of the Roman Empire" I know.) I began to notice it in the sixties when "the pill" enabled the "sexual revolution." Things like integrity, honesty, honor, values have all taken a backseat and gone downhill. It has permeated Political institutions like Congress, Senate, Governors, Mayors and others who are role models for the rest of us. Especially the kids. It isn't any wonder I'm watching the news broadcast about a 15-year old being arrested for attacking a 57 year-old woman and throwing her onto the rail tracks.

Before you jump to the conclusion that I am a purist, trust me when I tell you I am not. I confess to being a conservative Liberal whatever that means. I support the military but wish we'd get out of the wars. I would have preferred it if cheap hand guns and rifles had been banned after we lost a President to a crazed fanatic (my apologies to the NRA). Unfortunately there are quite a few crazed fanatics all over the world and whether they're influenced by our entertainment industry is doubtful but I sure do admire those societies who have maintained some manners and level of decorum when it comes to the way we treat each other. In a better world, it wouldn't be phony either.

Getting right to the point, I don't think I would take offense so much if it weren't for the fact that I'm trying very hard to "be positive." Some of the films I've seen this year have been upsetting my balancing act between being positive and depression.

The Illusive Butterfly

2010-03-02T11:40:00.001-08:00

There is a saying that goes, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Robert E. Lee is known to have twisted it a bit when he said, "an ounce of pretence is worth a pound of manure."

I just reconnected with friends from way back in elementary school and what a thrill it was. A longtime heartthrob of mine, we were in the 6th, 7th, and 8th grades together and everybody lusted after her as much as boys with budding hormones are capable. She doesn't remember me (of course), can you believe that? Well it doesn't really surprise me, she didn't know I existed back then either. We went to school, partied at the teen center, attended dances and spent quite a bit of time together in the same groups but I was not real memorable or remarkable back then. I still think of her fondly as someone who was special in those days.

I started smoking cigarettes in the 7th grade: played baseball, was in the Boy Scouts and had friends a plenty. But I was not the most popular guy around and she was the most popular girl. I piled up the demerits and got into some difficulties in the 8th grade but she doesn't even remember that. Oh well, I feel like Charlie Brown.

Have you ever wondered why it is that things we thought we really wanted but never attained are our illusive butterflies? We continue to hold them in great esteem but only so long as we don't attain or reach them. If we actually experience them, whatever they may be, we find out what it's really like and it never measures up to what we thought it would be.

Just reconnecting is a big deal to me. I finally got another glimpse of one of my illusive butterflies and she is just as out of reach as ever. Some things in life are perfect.

What I've Been Up To

2010-02-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

I'll bet you thought I was taking a break from blogging and I have sort of. I Haven't written anything for the blog this year but I have been busy writing two articles on Flight Simulator. One is on Multiplayer Carrier Operations flying FA/18s off the coast of San Francisco and the other is a review of PMDG/Aerosoft's BAe Jetstream 4100.

Talking Heads
I'm a big fan of television news but one of the things that mystifies me is when the announcers disappear, where do the anchors or announcers go? Here in the San Francisco bay area KTVU channel 2 has a tried and true news team that for decades has received awards for their news broadcasts. Dennis Richmond retired, as did Ross McGowan but did you notice when Elaine Corral left a few year ago? Do you ever wonder why she did and where did she go? Dennis was replaced by Frank Summerville who worked his way up to the evening news from the morning and midday newscasts.

Just last week CNN's Anderson Cooper announced his sidekick Ericka Hill left for another position at another network. And while we're on the subject of CNN don't you think AC and Sanjay Gupta deserve an award for the compelling coverage they did on the earthquake in Haiti?

Where did they move John King to? They keep rotating the anchor on the Sunday morning news show. I do wonder about weird stuff, I know but I was thinking there might be a market for this sort of information. There are scorekeepers no doubt in the journalism world. There are a few who have left and I wonder where they go.

Auld Lang Syne

2009-12-10T12:06:00.001-08:00

A good way to send out the old year and boot up a new one. A long standing tradition, the song dates back to a Scottish poem by Robert Burns in 1788. I had to write something to end the year on a high note and burry last month's post. So I started with this traditional end of the year song.

One of the things I have is too much time. My main challenge is to find something that keeps me motivated and positive about the moment. Isn't it odd that when we're going through tough times, we feel the pain of the moment. It's only later on, sometimes years later, we reflect back and think fondly of the same period in our lives.

A very nice tradition is the way our calendar year is punctuated by gift giving and family gatherings at the end of the year. Some of us celebrate Christ's birth by decorating our homes with an evergreen tree and mistletoe to go along with the seasonal baked goodies as the temperatures dive outside. Fewer attendees at the aerobic exercise class in the community outdoor pool this time of year; a result of the changing climate and season.

Being Thankful

2009-11-25T06:23:00.001-08:00

The year is winding down with Thanksgiving tomorrow. Wow what a year! For a time, nobody at my house had a job or income. That's not a fun feeling. Now our health insurance is "iffy" or non-existent with changes happening all the time.

My scanner won't convert scanned images into text. The OCR software is not working. The "g" keycap came off the laptop so I glued it back on with Elmer's. Now the key is just a clump of glue. My camcorder gave out after the trip to Laguna Beach so I had the Canon repair folks put it straight for $150. My computer boots up with a red screen and the monitor cable is flakey. My ink jet printer crapped out so I had to get it replaced $175. My medical coverage has expired and I'm between insurance companies so to refill two of my prescriptions was $580. How is your day? Are we having fun yet?

I am very thankful for having friends. I really appreciate the few I have because I know how "fair weather" they can be. When I was working, I thought I had quite a few friends and I really appreciated them. After I lost my job, my friends were scarce. Now I admit I am not the most pleasant person to hang with when things are down but I really didn't think I would fall off the map. With some of my old friends, I did.

My newer friends are online friends for the most part and I am blessed to have them. You would be surprised they are much younger than I am. That really doesn't matter to me at all. They live all over the planet too which is fun. I also have a couple of buddies in my aerobic aquatic class and I look forward to seeing them every week.

You should always be thankful for your health. Mine is not the greatest but I manage to get out of bed on a regular basis. My sister just got out of the hospital after a week in Intensive Care for blood clots. So we should be thankful for our families too.

My son is in Afghanistan and while his mother and I worry a lot we are extremely thankful that he is alive. My wife's parents are having their medical problems too and we are thankful to still have them around. On one hand, I quarrel with my brothers and sisters but on the other, I am happy to have them. My children are responsible for considerable heart-burn, but they too are surviving and doing their best and I really appreciate that.

Ying and Yang

2009-10-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

It was the old what goes down must come back up summer. August and September were particularly painful but here we are in October and things are looking bright again. I actually got out of the neighborhood last weekend and traveled to southern California for my nephew's wedding. Here are a couple of photos. Had a great time when all was said and done. To no one's surprise I demonstrated that I don't travel well. We flew Jet Blue from Oakland to Long Beach and back again and we rented a new Ford Flex for the drive down to Laguna Beach for the wedding. The ocean air was fantastic. I noticed the difference on my skin which is usually pretty itchy. We stayed at a very nice secluded motel in very nice accommodations.

The ceremony was outside on the golf course with a string trio playing traditional wedding music. It was invigorating to be out amongst the young Turks and meeting new relatives. It is a bit difficult modifying my diabetes schedule around special occasions like this one. Dinner on both Friday and Saturday were very late and I couldn't pass up the opportunity to have a glass of wine with dinner and a beer before. The net result was a few gained pounds and higher than normal glucose levels for a couple of days. Then when we got home Shelley began her new job routine which includes getting up at 0500 hours every morning, so by the end of the first week, I was pretty tired and rundown.

While I would consider our lifestyle frugal and meager, we are thankful we have the blessings we have and hope to continue to have a positive attitude.

Oh Me Oh My

2009-07-23T09:36:00.001-07:00

My Mind Trip

I read another book about Spiritual Enlightenment the other day. This one was written by Jed McKenna called "Spiritual Enlightenment - The Damnedest Thing." Actually I listened to it since my eyesight is not so good just now. It came on 8 CDs and it took me a couple of days to listen to the whole thing. The message was pretty much the same as Eckhart Tolle's and Werner Erhart's, get off your ego (survival stuff) and start living anew, being alive. Of course that's a lot easier to say than to do.

My ego is intertwined with my mind, my memories, my desires and most of the stuff that I sometimes think I am. These books help me realize I'm not any of that but I keep getting caught in the trap of thinking too much, worrying too much and dwelling on the negativity of it all. Thankfully, those are just symptoms of the process of moving through my stuff. The more present I can be, the more I can let go of petty judgments and resentments I have been holding on to. My baggage, so to speak.

It isn't easy for me. Now I know it's good for me, like exercise, but getting moving and really unloading the stuff is hard for me to do. Even though I want to and am in agreement with it, it still comes back in a variety of ways. I notice it when I get angry or disagreeable, anxious or apprehensive. To rid myself of this dreadful disease, I am going to have to stay present and be here now more often.

You would think memories would be useful. Unfortunately, you live in the past when thinking of memories. That's just as bad a wishful thinking, although I think many who try to 'stay positive' are just spinning their story and burying themselves deeper with future delights.

Anyway, back to the book. So this guy Jed McKenna, the author, who may or may not be a real person, goes along on a narrative answering questions his students ask him about Zen, Buddha, Religion, Spiritual Enlightenment and anything else they have questions about. He does all this from a nice house in Iowa in the midst of farms near Iowa City in the middle of no place particular. His observations are interesting and as you might imagine, his students struggle with the notion of letting go of their ego selves. It's so simple he says, "It's all about no self." He uses analogies quite a bit. He talks about a modern version of Plato's "fire in the cave" only equates it to a movie theater. He compares our life efforts to that of vampires and caterpillars morphing into butterflies. Interesting, no? He tells of a time when he went on a sky diving jump and almost everything went wrong, so stuff happens even to those who are spiritually enlightened.

I liked the book and it rekindled my interest in Eckhart Tolle so I bought his first book called "The Power of Now." More about this later.

My son Kevin who is a hero in my eyes, just deployed to Afghanistan and will be gone for a 12 month tour of duty. We all miss him very much and pray every day for his safe return.

I Never Met a Man I Didn't Like

2009-06-23T14:04:00.000-07:00

Will Rogers used to say "I never met a man I didn't like." I've pondered this statement for far too long and have come to the conclusion that either he just liked everybody; or he just said that to be nice; or he never met the people I've bumped into in my life. I do know someone who says he never met a stranger -- but I must tell you he is not well liked by everybody. He's loud and obnoxious and I've seen people avoid him like the plague in social situations.

I think Will Rogers was trying to make a point. I think he meant to say to the rest of us that everybody deserves respect and their opinions count too. I just can't believe he liked everybody he met. It isn't humanly possible since we all have bad days.

Now Jesus loved everybody but I don't think he was a big fan of Pontius Pilate. It is more likely he was setting an example for the rest of us to follow and he knew that forgiving even one's enemies is better than harboring a grudge because that's self-destructive. The idea that it's easier for a poor man to get into heaven than a rich one through the eye of a needle implies that having little does not distract you from the goal of doing good. Having so much you think it needs protecting, makes you greedy and less likely to selflessly do the right thing.

Will Rogers was a political humorist. You could say he was an early stand-up comedian but ran more one-man commentator on the events of his day. He wrote many newspaper columns and was a movie star in both silent and early talking movies. He died in a small plane accident in 1935. Although he is credited with the statement, I've heard he used to append it with a "yet." I have also heard stories others have told who refute Will's ability to like everybody. Once when invited to join a newsman's chat he told his host to "get lost kid."

One of my greatest regrets in life is that I cannot say I never met a man I didn't like. Being a shy person I find myself avoiding situations where I might lose my inhibitions and start liking people more. At least knowing I am doing that is a step in the right direction.

Patience Is a Virtue

2009-06-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

There once was a monk who lived in a monetary with several other monks. The head monk was called the abbot. Now these monks had taken a vow of silence so each day they did their tasks in silence. They read in silence, did their chores, worked in the garden, and prayed in silence. Every seven years the abbot would take a census of each monk and called them one by one into his residence where he would ask them a simple question. One day as it was the custom, the abbot called a monk in to speak to him on this special occasion. "How are you doing brother," the abbot asked? The monk replied, "I'm alright brother superior but my bed is very hard and uncomfortable when I try to sleep." The abbot thanked the monk and sent him on his way. Seven years passed. Again it was his turn to speak to the abbot. When asked how he was doing, the monk replied, "Everything is fine but the food is foul and leaves much to be desired." The abbot thanked him again and the monk went back to his cell to pray. Seven years passed. The monk was summoned to speak with the abbot on the day of his census and the abbot asked how he was doing. The monk replied, "I've given it a lot of thought and frankly abbot I'm thinking of quitting the brotherhood." And the abbot responded, "I'm not surprised, all you ever do is complain."

I am reminded of this (borrowed) story when I think all that I think is bad or negative. I have to deliberately say and think things that are positive and uplifting. It seems to be my nature to go the other way. Far too many judgments, upsets and frustrations. I make myself say "hello" to my cat Marvin, everyday. It's one of the nicest things I do. My wife always says it's a nice day, or beautiful trees, or something that is positive. It's one of her good habits. I must confess, I don't have many good habits. I have a bag full of bad ones though. I'm a nice enough person, I don't wish anyone any harm. I don't go way out of my way to be nice though. If you're familiar with 12 step programs, you know there is a step where you are supposed to go back and make amends as long as it wouldn't hurt or upset anybody. I am haunted with people and things for which I need to make amends but cannot connect. Can I forgive myself? I'm not sure. The ways I have in the past seem more like denial than acceptance.

Today I heard some musical tunes I hadn't heard in quite a while. I recognized Telstar, an oldie instrumental from the early 60s. The Star Wars theme brought back some good memories of the movie and waiting in line to see it; and the theme song from Hill Street Blues TV series reminded me of the time in Las Vegas when Hal Miller got on stage and "covered" for the piano player who was tardy. That was about the same time as the series and I remember Hal playing it for the cocktail crowd. If I could just get as big a kick out of right now as that. It's just beyond my grasp but I keep working on it.

I've seen a couple of television programs on PBS recently of Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood 40 years after Blind Faith and about the last days of Fillmore West. Where did the time go? Will I ever get it back? What is the meaning of life? How do I fit in the universe? What is reality?

I saw a video of Steve Jobs commencement speech to the 2009 graduates of Stanford University. I learned a lot about Steve I didn't know. Funny isn't it, two of the most influential men in the new millennium never graduated from college. If you've got to be something, be lucky.

Why are the French so… French?

2009-05-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

I think I may have stumbled on to what makes the French so contrary when it comes to Americans. We would be hard pressed to go without the French. They spawned so much of our culture, our food, even our language. Where would we be without French fries; or French toast; or French dip? How could we survive without the Statue of Liberty; or all the French cooking by French chefs in all those French restaurants? We borrow from the French when we want to invite people to a party we ask them to R.S.V.P. We even serve pre-meal treats and call them hor d’oureves. There is much about the French that has permeated our culture so they can’t be all bad.

What occurred to me is why the French loath Americans and it goes back to the days of the Revolutionary War. We would not have won that fight for independence against the British if it hadn’t been for the French who loaned us a large sum of money, and some of their Officers and naval vessels. Then the French had their own Revolution and got rid of the King and Queen. Our congress decided we didn’t have to repay the war loan since our contract was with the King and he was dead. That must have made some Frenchmen very angry and mistrusting. Then after the War of 1812 in which we failed to take Canada from the British, the Brits and the French went to war and who did we support? That’s right, the British. Kind of like rubbing salt in the wound.

Fast forward to World War II when the Vichy French fought on the side of the Germans. When we trundled ashore at Monaco in North Africa, it was these French soldiers who fired at us and killed our troops before we could find a French General who ordered them to stop. Now either they were confused or still carrying a grudge. After WWII the Allies put together the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and included the French. I think we thought it would hurt their feelings if we didn’t. The ungrateful French dropped out of NATO in the 60s and politely kicked the American soldiers out of France.

By now you may be thinking I don’t like the French but you would be wrong. I do like the French. They introduced spice to the human sexual experience. There’s French kissing, and the French must have claimed the rights to the disposal of human waste. We call it a toilet, right? Or a latrine; a loo - not to be confused with the museum; there’s even something called a bidet (pronounced bo-day) and all I can say is “merci boco” for the indoor plumbing. Personal sanitation and hygiene is always a good thing.

Thank You for Not Smoking

2009-04-30T10:06:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law, Ed has been a smoker for many years. He’s tried to quit on several occasions but has just had a heck of a time stopping for good. Well, last Monday the doctors got his attention when they performed a triple bypass surgery to get the blood flowing back into his heart. He has been in the hospital now for almost a week and no cigarettes, no smoking, no joke - no butts. I think they got his attention now.

Having been a smoker for 25 years, I know how difficult it can be to give up the habit. I’d be smoking today if it hadn’t been for an employer who would not allow it. He called UPS and asked for a different delivery driver after smelling smoke when he came to pick up a package. Bless his heart. Quitting was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the sickest I’ve ever been.

Ed had a couple of minor heart attacks in the weeks leading up to his surgery. I thought the first one happened at my son’s wedding 3 weeks ago, when my sister-in-law, Carol locked her purse in her trunk in the church parking lot, forgetting the keys were in her purse. Ed and Carol had to call their insurance company who sent someone to get the trunk unlocked. They made it to the reception in plenty of time but I thought Ed was going ballistic. He was smoking like a chimney. He says he was unfazed; he’s been married to Carol 30 years now so I guess he wasn’t all that surprised.

We’re all very happy Ed made it through the surgery and we hope he will have an easy time giving up the nicotine.

Plagiarism

2009-04-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

If you have seen the movie Hook, you probably recall Dustin Hoffman decrying three times, “I hate, I hate, I hate… Peter Pan!” Irascible Robin Williams plays the part of Pan whom we all love of course. Hook is probably singular in his opinion of Peter. Unless I am terribly naïve, we all love Peter Pan. He is the hero of fairy tales.

I used to do a newsletter for a Mortgage Broker client and confess to “borrowing” statistics and data from the local newspaper for his newsletter. I had the opportunity to speak with an English teacher from a nearby Junior College and feeling a little bit guilty, asked her opinion of plagiarism. “From my students there is no such thing,” she said. “It’s so rare they write anything at all, I’ll gladly take it plagiarized or not.” Now this was a dozen years or so ago but I’m not all that certain things have changed that much. One of the shortfalls of the internet is the temptation students are confronted with to use another’s ideas rather than their own. I’ve been there and done that.

This self-imposed deadline of writing something for my blog once a month gets me to come up with something to say without borrowing. Usually we’re too busy and have too many other things to do than sit down and write something intelligible and comprehensive. I notice the kids today have no problem texting themselves into oblivion; I’m not sure how intelligible that stuff is however. It appears more like socializing than communicating or sharing ideas. Even what I write here is probably coming from my ego; not myself. As human beings we rarely sit still long enough to really know what’s going on with ourselves. We’ve adapted to a faster paced society that springs into action, responds proactively, and really never takes the time necessary to digest what is happening and apply common sense and manners we used to have and our parents worked so hard to give us.

I’m just too slow to keep up. I usually have to read the instructions two or three times to get the message. My wife will ask if I saw a commercial on TV that just went by and the truth is I have to see it three times for it to sink in. Most movies today are so full of explosions, crash scenes and suspenseful dialog I just can’t follow them in real time. It could be middle age slowing me down. It may be those good manners are working like a drag chute, slowing my mind and making me face the right and wrong of what I am experiencing and we are all about.

I must confess that I work at a much slower pace these days. I am guilty of watching too many news hours and politico talking heads offering their philosophy to us, the gullible audience. It is apparent that I am not alone in these troubled waters of morality and decision making. At least I still have a moral compass or at least know what one is used for.

Update on what's happening

2009-03-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

For starters this is going to be a busy week. Kevin and Natalie are coming home and getting married on Saturday, April 4th. Kevin has been to the National Training Center and has lost a few pounds living on MREs. Michelle took a CNA class and passed with flying colors, so she has landed a new job. Brian continues to look for work. Shelley has been beating the rug so to speak around the house getting everything tidied up for guests this weekend. Tylin came over and pulled weeds in the yard two days straight. We will of course be taking many photos and videos this weekend and I'll come back and post a few here.

Wednesday Kevin and Natalie fly in from Seattle. I believe they have to squeeze in their final paperwork that day. Friday is the rehearsal at the church and the rehearsal dinner at Cattlemen's afterward. We're expecting 47 to attend the rehearsal and I've been thinking about my toast to the new couple. I feel like Luca Bratzi in the Godfather rehearsing his lines for a talk with the Don. Saturday is the real deal and a wonderful opportunity to get all the family together at one time. Natalie comes from a pretty good sized family too so it will be splendid. Many of Kevin's friends will be in uniform and there will be a "sabre arch" for the bride and groom to walk under. The dinner after the ceremony will be a wonderful experience with over 150 attendees. The bride and groom have arranged to have a DJ who will play every one's favorites and I'll have to dust off the rust and cut a rug.

Sunday the newlyweds are off to Jamaica for a romantic holiday before flying back to Seattle.

My Philosophy is Fine, What's Your Philosophy?

2009-02-28T13:07:00.000-08:00

It's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Continuing on the negativity theme, I am reminded of an interview I did when I was at Hewlett-Packard Company for a job which I was well qualified. I didn't get the job so when I followed up I was a bit surprised to hear the interviewer say "I detected some negativity." That's all it takes. I do appreciate her honesty. She detected what she perceived as negative and I was no longer a candidate for the job.

I have a lousy habit of saying things better left unsaid. We had a "Style Guide" at HP and it said to always assert things in a positive manner. It had tons of examples of how we speak naturally and often it is negative. We provide advice by saying "Don't, or You Shouldn't, etc., and the style guide made a point to put things in positive terms.

I grew up with parents who used sarcasm in their humor all the time. So most stories were riddled with negativity. I have found self deprecation to be a useful humorous tool as well which is why I have way too many negative, bad habits.

Purging the Negativity from Oneself

2009-01-29T15:38:00.000-08:00

A doctor friend of mine suggested I read a book called “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle and I’m really glad I did. In it, Tolle explains how we are creatures of habit and have evolved into a state of ego sponsored insanity, which explains why we behave the way we do, even when we know better and don’t want to. I have to admit I have struggled all my life with the unconscious negativity that springs eternal from within. I have come to realize that this negative trait is the sponsor of most of my problems which unfortunately are self-created. “We are our own worst enemy” and the reason we are is our egos run amuck.

So Eckhart gives us the keys to reversing this plague and I have found myself benefiting immensely from my new found awareness. I haven’t arrived at perfection or the absence of negativity yet, but I have noticed the improvement. Just last night I woke up in the middle of the night and began stressing about my year-end statement from my mortgage holder. Many deep breaths and a bothersome stomach ache later, I went back to sleep. So I too recommend the book and one of the reasons I do is it doesn’t make one a preacher of the new found faith, although you could argue I have been here. Most of what we learn through his teaching we already knew. I know that sounds funny but most of what he says in the book seems very familiar.

So if you are tortured from within and looking for a way out, read what Eckhart Tolle has to say about being present and embracing the now. He even explains in very simple terms how to enjoy what you are doing when you are doing the most mundane tasks of your day.

While I watched the presidential debates last year, I was struck at how little Barack Obama was driven by his ego and how much John McCain was. You can see it in people once you know what to look for. I don’t suggest you do that to observe others; the real benefit is in self-improvement.

Have you had the experience where you go somewhere and have a fitful reaction to something said or not said about you? It’s a big deal to watch your own ego go through such gyrations. The feelings are real too. I’m sure my face was red. I was able to calmly be aware of what I was thinking and be detached at the same time. You come to a realization that you shouldn’t feel the way you do. You might not even really care. But somewhere deep inside -- your ego has an agenda and you go through some severe emotional turmoil. We all do. Well, now at least I notice that I am doing it and I’m getting a handle on controlling it. I’ll be a much more positive, enjoyable person when I do.

2008 - That was the year that was

2008-12-31T16:39:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard the advice “Never Volunteer?” I know there are plenty of good reasons not to. I have run into trouble consistently by volunteering and then getting my ego bruised after doing too much. I am going to start out 2009 by not volunteering.

This year has been tumultuous with the end of the Bush Administration and one of the biggest economic problems in a century. Global climate change and a society that needs gratification instantly will bring lots of new opportunities to figure out how to do things differently. It may be painful getting there however. It seems to me the first step will be how to get along - with less. As unfortunate as it may be, lots of people are going to find themselves unemployed and looking for work.

I have been laid off from work more than 8 times in my work career and I must say it is never a good experience. It’s tragic and one of the most painful experiences of your life. I began my work life an optimist thinking if I did a good job I would succeed and be rewarded. Well, life doesn’t work that way. Common sense like poetic justice, are ideals that don’t come that close in the real world. Fifty years later, I confess I have become a pessimist when it comes to work and my fellow man in getting fair treatment. So yes, I started out an idealist like most youngsters. I tried my hand at several jobs; got my education, paid my dues and at the end of the road felt empty and resentful.

Not being a quitter, I continued to go at the work world from different perspectives. I started over in lower jobs and tried to work my way back up the ladder. Finally, I just volunteered, basically gave it away (my work product that is) until I finally realized it doesn’t matter and I won’t get the rewards I sought.

It has been disgusting so I will end this piece here.

8-1 Cav Spur Ride 2008

2008-12-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Kevin completed his spur ride and earned his spurs the last week of November 2008. He also got a promotion to 1st Lieutenant. The order of the spur is a long standing tradition in the Cavalry of the United States Army. It actually dates back to the middle ages when knights would earn their spurs. The Army carries on this tradition and Cavalry units wear black Stetson hats and either silver or gold spurs with their uniforms. The spur ride consists of a two day process of long road marches and obstacle courses sandwiched between qualification with weapons and exercises simulating battle skirmishes and first aid. Kevin was photographed enduring this tradition in the Northwest Guardian.
http://armyphoto.wordpress.com/2008/11/24/8-1-cav-spur-ride/

To really appreciate what soldiers go through during a spur ride however, it may be beneficial to see one in action. Here is a link to a YouTube video of one that took place in Korea a couple of years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKVFkUCxtgk

Needless to say we are very proud of Kevin and his accomplishments and hope he continues to spread his good cheer to everyone he meets.