Donne Tempo RSS She Says

Today is Father's Day

Donne Tempo — 2009-06-21T11:13:17-04:00

I’ve been thinking a lot about parents lately – specifically about the relationship between parents and adult children. At the age of 44, I have come to the belated realization that we are always our parent’s children. ...While we strive for equality and “to be treated like an adult,” we also crave that same cocoon of unconditional love from them that we sought as children. True, it’s tempered by a mutual respect, a desire for a recognition that we are adults – many of us our parents ourselves – but we can never completely disentangle from that parent-child relationship. ...I was walking the dogs this morning and thinking about the gifts he gave me. True, some of them have been tangible, like the money he has given me to get me through rough spots, but most of them are intangible moments that are the true stuff life is made of. ...Last year (or maybe it was the year before…as we age, time becomes a little more elastic), Dad was driving home and saw a dead opossum in the middle of the road. ...He removed the pups from the pouch and took them to Busch Wildlife Sanctuary so they would be safe. ...He sees hummingbirds and butterflies and new buds on flowers while the rest of us stream past on our hurried way to work or school or the mall. He appreciates natural beauty – everything from bee’s nests to fantastic orchids to intricate spider webs – and takes the time to see them. When I was a child, he would carefully remove spiders or beetles or any other kind of bug from the house by trapping it in a Tupperware container and putting it outside. ...While I often hurry through a problem, wanting to be done with it, he carefully reviews each possibility and tests each theory. He is a student of the issue, taking time to understand each step before moving on. ...He lets them explore whatever it is he is showing them, never pushing them to the conclusion or trying to get them to find the same answer or path he discovered. ...Even as an adult, I’d look at the sidelines and there my parents would sit, lawn chairs in tow, quietly supporting my interests. ...Some of my most amazing memories are nature walks through Bull Run Park in the spring and fall, examining colorful leaves and empty chrysalis, smelling the air before a storm, climbing trees and tasting wild blackberries. ...It is because of my father that I stop to watch butterflies in the garden and appreciate their flight. It is because of my father that I happily pick up snakeskins and examine the pattern. It is because of my father that I love the quiet mornings when the only sound is the songbirds and the breeze. It is because of my father that I take the time to get outside every day and wonder at the miracle of nature. ...It’s probably because of my father that I’m a little quirky. ... We (half) joke that he revels in impending doom – nothing makes him happier than those hours before a hurricane. And there is no question that he is maniacally driven and is the most disciplined person – to the point of aestheticism when it’s not about computers – I have ever met in my life. ...He gave me walks in the woods and a love of exploration, a desire to figure things out and to accept.

Male Reproductive Rights And Doing Right

Donne Tempo — 2009-06-10T23:11:53-04:00

but this episode caught my attention, and I’ve been thinking about it for a week now, so I wanted to share it. ...But what if a man discovers he's responsible for a child he didn't know existed or didn't plan on having? ... Phil's guests engage in a heated debate about the rights of men and women when a child is conceived out of wedlock.” ...A woman can decide whether to have the child or not, whether to give it up for adoption or not. ...The first story was a guy, “Matt,” who said that he and his girlfriend had multiple discussions about having children, where he flatly told her he was not interested in being a father and did not want a child. He claimed his ex-girlfriend told him she was using birth control and that she had a “condition” that would make it difficult for her to get pregnant anyway. ... His premise is that he should not have to support this child or have anything to do with it because he repeatedly, actively stated that he did not want a child, and he reiterated his stance immediately after he found out that she was pregnant. ...The second story was about a man, Noel, who is married (to Nicol) and they have two kids. ... The story was that one-day his car broke down, he called the ex for help, and they went back to her house and slept together. Both Noel and Nicol now say their lives have been shattered by the appearance of this child and that he should not have to pay child support. ...First of all, as the mother of a son, the advice I would give him is if you are not ready to have a child, use a condom. ... You should take responsibility from that point – it is your responsibility to use birth control and to ensure that you do not end up as a father. ...I would argue that at that point, the point before conception, they had all the reproductive rights – and responsibilities – in the world. ...The second point is that while all this stuff is nice to debate in an abstract discussion forum, but the reality is, there are two children out there, created because of choices these men made, who are not theories to be discussed or debated. ... I would like to ask Matt and Noel how they can sleep at night knowing they are intentionally hurting two babies. ... If these ex’s are as horrifying as the men make them out to be, all the more reason to get involved in the lives of these children so they can have normal lives and be functioning members of society. ...They also say it takes a terrible emotional toll, but they define the problem as the emotion of having to deal with this horrific mistake – a decision they have made, by the way, to treat it as this incredibly negative development – not the emotional difficulties involved in raising a child. ...And I guess where I end up on all this is these men should be ashamed of themselves. They should take a good, hard look in the mirror and do some very difficult thinking about what they’re doing to themselves and the children, and exactly who they are and what they stand for. ... You made this baby, whether willingly or not, you understood exactly how babies are made, and you have a responsibility to her. ...It doesn’t matter whether it was a one-time thing or not, you also knew that your actions could create a child. ... The only reason the existence of this child is devastating to your children is because you are acting the way you are. ...You act like Noel had no part in this, and I’m sorry to say that he absolutely did. In my opinion, you seem far more upset with him and his actions, but you don’t want to face that, so you are taking it out on the woman.

Lessons From My Sister’s Refrigerator

Donne Tempo — 2009-06-06T13:32:28-04:00

Like most parents, my refrigerator is papered with a mish mash of pictures of my son, his art work, school-dictated mothers day missives, coupons, and important reminders that get buried under pictures and art work and missives. That’s how you know I’m a mom…by the hodgepodge of items stuck underneath magnets on my refrigerator. ...My sister, who is also a mom, and who also has a wonderful collection of inan…I mean, incredibly important…items pasted to her refrigerator, also has a few select “sayings to live by” prominently displayed in a clear space on the front of the refrigerator. She regularly refers her children to them, and they refer each other – and her – to them. ...I think this is the most important one. Stand on your own merits and accomplishments because they are worthy on their own. You don’t need to point out the faults or shortcomings of others because it makes you look better. While that may make you look good short term, it makes you look bad long term. ...Don’t come to your mother and say, “MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM…I hurt my foot because I was trying to see if I could punt nails sharp side down.” ... Be warned: lack of soothing even when injury is the direct result of stupidity doesn’t go over well. I often get, “Oh, so you’re mad at me and I’m REALLY HURT!” ... It also encompasses, “I got a D because I didn’t turn in my homework” and “She got really mad at me because I forgot we had plans and went out with my friends.” ...This is a tough one because we all do it, but we forget how it sounds to other people. The next time you’re talking to someone, do a couple things. ... Don’t think about what you’re going to say before the other person is even done talking. ... There are times to give advice, but a lot of time people just want to vent or to share things. ... they probably actually don’t want you to say, “Yep, it is disgusting. What you should do is take like six hours, really clean it up, stop wasting all that time scrapbooking and really keep that house clean.” On the other hand, if they say, “Geez! ... you could say, “What works for me is taking an hour a day and just cleaning one room. ... I guess the thing here is that we all really are doing the best we can. Helping, giving advice, guiding, is all good, but eliminate the negative, judging part. ...Oh, and related to that, try really hard to avoid the compliment with an insult chaser: “Wow, you look great today…I mean, usually really large people stop taking care of themselves, but you still plug away despite gaining all that weight!” ...I periodically come across other sayings or quotes that I really like, but I haven’t found any that reach the simple wisdom of those three basic life tenants.

Room with a view ...

Donne Tempo — 2009-05-02T19:35:53-04:00

Anything from a space so small the only place to sit is the edge of the bed or a room with peeling veneers and a bed harder than the cement floor clearly felt beneath the thin carpet. ...One rule to keep in mind is that when spending your time, and money, in a “luxury” type property, it should be equal to, if not nicer than where you live at home. Right after you decide where and when you want to go, you need to decide if you want a room with expansive comforts such as suites with overstuffed furniture? ...Too many times travel planners see the room as just a place to sleep, but it really is much more than that and the perfect room can make, or break, your respite from the everyday. ...The hotel is not often the destination as much as a place to stay while you are where you need, or want, to be. When making hotel reservations remember that hotels often rely on name branding but properties can and will differ from market to market. ...The requested suite was unavailable, which in itself was disappointing however the room offered was unlivable and did not come close to the furnishings, cleanliness or quality of the website’s pictures. It was a room that was far below the standards for a Doubletree property and the front desk manager was not interested in helping us to find an appropriate room at the property. ...Checking into a resort means you are looking for rest and relaxation along with a bit of entertainment, sports, quality eateries and luxury at every turn. ... However for that visit to be truly memorable requires that the room will not only meet, but also exceed your expectations. ...Therefore, before you click that “Book Now” button, call and ask to speak to the resort or hotel concierge. With your list of wants and needs in hand, ask the questions that are important to you. ...Remember to write down the name of the person you speak to, date and time and put it in your travel file. ...When booking travel, this is one time to remember, you get what you pay for. And if you are looking to pay motel rates at a resort, well that can happen, but you are liable to have more than one unpleasant surprise. Determine your budget, recognize you get what you pay for and make a list of what is important to you in your room. If you are paying $189.00 a night for a room in Cocoa Beach, it better be clean and well furnished with reasonable amenities, restaurant and pool/fitness center at a minimum and a professional staff. If you are paying $375.00 a night for a Cancun resort, the room best have the balcony and ocean bay, not garbage bay, view promised. ...So before you click the “Book-It-Now” button, call, or email, and start asking questions and don’t book until you get the answers you need. Top Ten Suggested Questions (and remember, expectations for a hotel and a resort are vastly different, as should be the price of the room): ...You also want to ask how close to the bed those units are as having cooled or hot air blowing on you can be uncomfortable. ...What type of view can I request and will I actually get it or is it only offered on availability? ... 6 Do you have free Internet connections and is it wireless or do I need to bring a cord for my laptop? ... This is one of those “upgrades” you may get for free by being a member of the hotel program.

Journalists in Foreign Jails: Iran v. North Korea and Roxanna Saberi, Laura Ling and Euna Lee

Donne Tempo — 2009-05-23T21:16:50-04:00

I was thrilled when the Iranian government released Roxanna Saberi from jail after originally sentencing her to eight years for espionage. ... Saberi is the American journalist who spent four months in an Iranian jail, first charged with purchasing alcohol – illegal in Iran – then for acting as a reporter without a press pass, and ultimately for espionage, because she had access to a classified report. ...Saberi had a closed-door trial, where she was found guilty of espionage and sentenced to eight years in jail. ... I have no idea why they let her go, but I’m guessing it had to do with the amount of international attention to the case, and the fact that it allowed the government of Iran a relatively low-cost way to look benevolent. After all, I can’t imagine they really wanted to keep this woman in jail and deal with constant US and Japanese pressure to release her, when her crimes weren’t all that heinous, even to the Iranian government. It also provided an opportunity for the Iranian government to demonstrate that it is looking toward positive relations with the Obama administration. ...On the other hand, there are currently two female American journalists in jail in North Korea for espionage, and their plight has received far less press or overt international attention. Laura Ling and Euna Lee were arrested on March 17th by North Korea for “illegal entry and hostile acts.” ... They were on China's northeastern Tumen River border with North Korea, reporting on North Korean defectors fleeing starvation and disease as well as arrest, torture, and beatings. They were not supposed to be filming in North Korea, but it is possible they stepped over the frozen Tumen River into North Korea. ...Because the United States does not have diplomatic relations with North Korea, they have received two brief visits from a Swedish diplomat. Although a South Korean paper reported that the two women are “undergoing intense interrogation," there is no evidence they are being tortured. The cameraman who was with the women when they were arrested, Mitch Koss, escaped and has returned to the United States, but has not issued any public statements on the incident. ...In a rare display of foreign policy insight, the Obama administration has treated the Ling/Lee case completely differently than the Saberi case. Actions that produced positive results in Iran may not produce the same results in North Korea, so the Obama administration is taking a different tact: behind the scenes negotiations, no full-court-press campaign, and subtle, slow talks. The US government has urged both the Ling and Lee family to be as discreet as possible, noting that any attempt at public pressure by the families may complicate negotiations. ...The deal is…the US and North Korea are in the middle of this whole big nuclear thing, and now Ms. ... Most of the international community, under the auspices of the United Nations, condemned the action, and ordered North Korea not to conduct any further tests. North Korea responded by expelling UN nuclear inspectors and said it would conduct a nuclear test in the near future. It also withdrew from all future nuclear negotiations with the six countries that currently have nuclear weapons. ...It is highly likely that the government will, subtly, offer to release the two women in exchange for political and financial concessions from the United States. ...Lee, it can approach talks from the standpoint of their release and then introduce nuclear issues without appearing to concede. The Obama administration has again taken a mature attitude by remaining open to talks with the government and by refusing to issue inflammatory rhetoric around the nuclear program, human rights, or the arrest of Ms. ... Notably, since the 1990s, three other Americans have been detained by the North for extended periods after being accused of entering the country.

The Newberry Library, Chicago, Illinois

Donne Tempo — 2009-04-25T21:15:35-04:00

Chicago’s The Newberry Library, an independent research library, is not just for scholars, teachers and researchers. It’s a haven for music, art and book lovers - an artistic oasis offering beauty and solitude for the weary visitor. Nestled in a park-like setting, The Newberry offers a literate oasis amongst Chicago’s bustling urbanity. The library’s vast offerings include the history and culture of Western Europe from the Middle Ages to the mid-twentieth century, and the Americas from the first contact between Europeans and Native Americans. It allows this traveler a chance to take off around the world, traveling through time, without having to head to Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. Get a day pass, and browse the library’s extensive collections, including Renaissance Studies, American Indian history, Baroque and Renaissance music, Portuguese and Brazilian history, and American history and culture. Spend time in the charming McClure Bookstore, where you can find unusual gifts and books, or just chat with the friendly staff. Then visit the adjacent art gallery. Enjoy The Newberry Consort, an early music ensemble-in-residence that offers afternoons or evenings of sublime sound using historically authentic instruments. ... Order tickets to a Consort performance of Renaissance or Baroque music, or attend one of their free rehearsals. These world-class musicians/vocalists present four yearly concerts throughout the Chicago area. Their programs will delight your spirit. Preview the Consort on YouTube, or visit online at consort@newberry.org. Explore your ancestry. If family history is one of your passions, discover the Newberry’s extensive American and English genealogical collection. And, if you love maps, visit their Center for the History of Cartography, where thousands of maps reside. Planning a wedding? This is an excellent venue for sheer elegance. Imagine floating down the spectacular central staircase to meet your beloved, and holding the reception at the same site. Bring your own band, or consider hiring the Newberry Consort to play at your reception. Free Library tours are offered Thursdays at 3:00 pm and Saturdays at 10:30 am. You can buy a sandwich, and enjoy lunch in the park opposite the library, or eat in at one of several restaurants located just a block or two from the library. Visit The Newberry Library online at www.newberry.org or in person at 60 W. ... Call 312–943–9090 for automated answering.

Fast is Sexy

Donne Tempo — 2009-03-31T12:18:05-04:00

The blog I started tonight was about the value of silence and calm in our worlds. How in a time of email and cell phone and kids and dogs and every other commitment you can think of, a few minutes of pure silence, of sitting with yourself, is an amazing thing. ...And here’s the thing…fast is sexy. So is confidence, calm in the face of diversity, tall women in short skirts, high heels, piercing blue eyes, cavalier disregard for authority, massive explosions, muscles, and quizzical half smiles. ...To me, Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise is pretty much the single sexiest thing on the face of the planet. ...It’s all about the context. As I’ve aged (no comments from the peanut gallery, thank you), I have come to realize that there is nothing objective about sexy. ... It’s all about context, or who and where. ...I don’t mean to disrespect them as a…species? ... When you’re hanging out at the beach at Ocean City, Maryland, the lifeguard in the chair behind the condo ranks right up there with chocolate, ice cream, and five carat diamonds as stuff girls want. The summer after I graduated from high school, my friends and I adored him daily. ... Stayed up at night on the balcony teary eyed after having too many drinks because you weren’t with him, dreamy. ...And then one night…we went to a party at his apartment. ...Because outside that lifeguard chair, his world, his context, dissolved. ... I remember my friend Kelly grabbing my arm at one point and begging me not to make eye contact with her, for fear she would burst out laughing at him. ...If you are an aspiring billiards player, you find yourself in smoky pool rooms drawn to the guy who can make that double kiss into the side pocket shot. ... They move with an ease unparalleled in the universe, a quiet cadence of cue ball hitting target ball rolling into a pocket. ...But let me warn you…don’t let them out into the light of day. ...That expert pool player you swooned after in the neighborhood bar? ...My international relations professor was just about perfect to me. ...Not pretty once you got him out of the classroom. ...Feeling someone reach for you and pull you close in the middle of the night. ... That is sexy that traverses all boundaries, all context, and that lasts. So I wonder….if James Bond wasn’t a super sexy MI5 agent, would slightly tight white pants work on him?

University of Louisiana research center targeted by Humane Society of U.S.

Donne Tempo — 2009-03-04T18:01:25-05:00

Tonight on ABC there is a story about a college based research facility, the New Iberia Research Center, associated with the University of Louisiana Lafayette. ...That the NIRC has used federal funds to warehouse and breed chimpanzees, activities that the HUS reports cost “American taxpayers millions of dollars, even at a time of fiscal crisis and when no other developed nation uses chimpanzees in experiments” is another. If you can’t get angry over the misuse of these animals, get angry over the cost to the American taxpayer (that would be you.) At a time when this country is in fiscal chaos, millions of dollars are being stolen from the taxpayer by groups like The New Iberia Research facility that houses over 6,000 monkeys and 325 chimpanzees. ...After watching a “researcher” hold a young infant in her hands, beating it as she force-feeds it some substance I went to the New Iberia Research Center web site. ...“Over the years, much growth and improvement to the facilities has occurred including the most recent construction of two new automated research buildings. Much attention has also been given to the development of suitable living quarters for the approximately 6,000 non-human primate residents of the facility.” ...No appreciation to these animals or the role that they are playing in our lives in the HSUS videos. ...Before you write me, I do know the NIRC is not the only research facility and that the University of Louisiana is not alone. The University of Minnesota has come under scrutiny (2009) as has The University of Oregon (2007) and the Yerkes National Primate Research Center at Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia that was featured in the 1974 film Primate, directed by Frederick Wiseman, has been closely watched by humane action groups, including the Humane Society and PETA. ...“The university takes very seriously the New Iberia Research Center’s responsibility to care for the animals housed at the center. The highly qualified and experienced staff veterinarians responsible for the care of this animals are extremely dedicated and respond aggressively to reports of potential animal abuse,” wrote Dr. ... “We have a clearly stated and direct no tolerance policy when the welfare of any animal in our care is threatened, and we will continue to strictly enforce that policy.” It makes one wonder just how much experience does one need to acquire before they are qualified to hit an animal in the mouth with a pipe? ...Savoie willing to go to get their chunk of the millions in research dollars our government dolls out daily? ... We must lobby so that this school’s admissions drop, that they do not receive one nickel of my - or your - tax dollars. ...Savoie to insure that Siafu and other elderly chimps -- some who have been housed in laboratories for decades -- be moved to safe havens. Then email your senator and demand that they hear your outrage over federal tax dollars spent on the inhuman treatment of animals. ...Send President Obama a note... tell him we will not support this type of facility with our tax dollars. ...Support the Humane Society of the United States with your donations and applaud ABC for doing its best to shine a light on this situation. ...Humane Society is working with four U.S. congressmen to introduce a bill to ban the use of chimpanzees in invasive research and retire at least half of the 1,200 in use to sanctuaries. ...But it will take pressure from each of to make sure this facility is shut down and then it requires our continued diligence to ensure that our government does not continue to fund animal research. Because once there is no money in it, they will find other ways to test their drugs and chemicals. ...Just as one wants happiness and fears pain, just as one wants to live and not die, so do other creatures."

Exploring the Feminine Divine: Who is the Black Madonna?

Donne Tempo — 2009-03-01T22:24:56-05:00

Gaia, Anu, Innana, Ereshkigal, Okanaga Earth Woman, Kunapipi, Nut, Spider Woman, Oma, Demeter, Persephone, Anat, Asherah, Eve, Lilith, Isis, Astarte, Sekhmet, Hathor, Hel, Hecate, Ishtar, Kali, Diana, Tiamat, Bridget, Morrigan, Tara, Pele, Cybele, Athena, Hera, Aphrodite, Sophia, Venus, Minerva, Medusa, Juno, Shekinah, Baubo, Mari, and many more. ...She continued - and continues - to influence us still, lightly touching us in our dreams, our reveries, and our meditations, appearing in one of her triune aspects, as Maiden, Mother, or Crone. ...She is the cauldron that contains all that we fear, and also all to which we aspire – She is the unconscious repository of all that is potential in our being, all that is waiting to "bubble up," whether positive or negative. ...Mary, known as the Mother of God, the Queen of Heaven, the Black Madonna, and the Black Virgin, is a comparatively recent, but particularly potent expression of the ancient Goddess. ...But whether or not the Church recognized her, she was held sacred in the psyches of individual Christians, women and men, and around her the cult of Mary was formed. ...Statues and paintings of Mary in her guise of the Black Madonna appear all over Europe, South America, and more recently, in North America. ...Some say that statues of Isis suckling Horus were brought back by the Crusaders from the Holy Land, and that statues of Isis and the infant Horus were placed on home altars as images of the infant Jesus and Mary. Others aver that the Black Madonna originally was brought from India through the old trade routes, and that the Goddess Kali was absorbed into the cult of Mary, hence her dark coloring. In my travels, I’ve discovered that the French people are much more forthcoming than other Europeans both in conversation, as well as in church literature, as to these and other possible origins of the Black Virgins housed in their churches. Perhaps this is because the French resisted the Inquisition, while Spain and Italy joined wholeheartedly in silencing those who might have been more knowledgeable about these matters. Wherever the truth lies, what is certain is that the love and devotion to Mary, in her guise of the Black Madonna, has grown over the centuries. She is an archetypal symbol of the Dark Mother, the cauldron containing all that is unknown, all that is potential in our individual and collective psyches. ...Visiting Her sacred sites is magical - the Divine Mother archetype is a felt presence that continues to influence our psyches, consciously or unconsciously, whether we are male or female. In France, the Black Madonna’s (or la Vierge Noire’s), numerous shrines can be found in modest local parish churches, as well as in the most glorious Gothic cathedrals, epitomized by the Chartres Cathedral, whose spires, stained glass windows, and flying buttresses elevate the spirit. ...Legend has it that Mary appeared atop a dolmen (a triple stone monument probably originally built by Druids) to an extremely ill, feverish woman who was miraculously healed. ...For example, I’ve been writing a book about my experiences with the Black Madonna and other Mothers, both divine and human. ...On Monday, I was at my computer looking for Swami Beyondananda's web page, because that morning I’d gotten an email with his very funny Ten Rules for Life, which I had accidentally deleted. When I found his web page, although there was a link to his Ten Rules, it wasn't operational. ...This is much how I would describe my own experiences, except that I have visionary experiences, seeing Her in my mind’s eye. ...It seems so simple: in order to avoid global catastrophe, we just have to work on ourselves to get rid of unresolved anger and fear, and to learn to love ourselves. ...Annie’s experiences parallel mine in many ways - I, too, was raised Jewish, and still honor that part of my being. ...What's important is that Mary's message is coming through in multiple ways, because it needs to reach as many people as possible. ...I had arranged for the students to help the restaurant owner, Elaine, with an ad campaign, so she'd invited us to a seven-course Chinese meal, which introduced the students to her new chef's artistry. ...Donne Tempo Magazine welcome Bonney Rega, a resident of Chicago, Illinois who seeks to find and understand the ancient Feminine Divine in our modern lives.

Family on Bikes: Bumps in the Road - Cycling through North America

Donne Tempo — 2009-02-24T23:00:58-05:00

When I look back upon the past months on the road, I’m not sure what comes to mind first – all the bumps in our road or the days of smooth sailing. ...Way back when we were planning our journey, we knew certain portions of the trek would tougher than others. We knew that, after a few months of pushing hard to get through Alaska and Canada, we would be tired by the time we made it to the USA. We also knew that regardless of how tired we were, we would not be able to stop – Old Man Winter would be arriving any day. ...Days were warm and sunny… Nights were mild… Fall colors were at their peak… It was a magical time and all four of us collapsed into our tent each night with smiles on our faces. ...We enjoyed a few nights in luxury while we sorted things out – and decided a quick trip to our home in Boise would be the easiest way to deal with it all. ...Old Man Winter was about to show his ugly face, and we weren’t keen on getting caught out in it. Yet another hotel came to our rescue – High Country Inn & Suites graciously allowed us to wait out the storm in the safety, security, and warmth of their locale. As soon as the sky had finished dumping all the snow it could muster up, we were back on the road – braving sub-freezing temps as we made our way south through Wyoming. ...Each day, the cracks got wider and wider and we knew it was only a matter of time before the wide spots had grown to the point where they could no longer hold a tire in place. ...In the end, we pushed on, hoping beyond hope that John’s wheels held together long enough to get us to Moab – where the manufacturer would have replacements awaiting our arrival. Mother Nature changed her mind at that point, decided maybe we weren’t so bad after all, and befriended us. ...user_id=user935680&color=00adef&background=000000&fullscreen=1&slideshow=0&stream=videos&id=&server=vimeo.com"> ...user_id=user935680&color=00adef&background=000000&fullscreen=1&slideshow=0&stream=videos&id=&server=vimeo.com" /> ...Canyonlands National Park, even though it lay a full 35 miles off our route, called our name – so we turned back to see it. ...The canyon stretched for miles and miles – an enormous gash in the earth’s surface looking like some aliens from distant lands had scraped the earth with their gigantic spaceship. The colors – bright red glistening in the sunlight… Chocolate brown like something out of Willy Wonka’s factory… Ivory white… Each layer piled on top of the others splashed across the edge of the canyon. All too soon, the time came to leave the magic of Canyonlands behind, and we headed into Moab where John would finally get new rims and not have to deal with a thumping wheel any more. ...Under the clear blue sky, we headed out to see the mystical, magical sandstone formations carved into the rock layers through the millennia. ...With each mile we pedaled south, our confidence level was growing - we may have escaped winter after all. ...But at some point in the middle of the night, Mother Nature sent out her Wind Warriors and we awakened the next morning to howling winds and dust everywhere. We look forward to dealing with each day as it comes, and know that we have the skills and tools necessary to do so. ...The Vogel Family, a group consisting of Mom and Dad, Nancy and John, and twin-eleven year old boys, Davy and Darryl, are riding from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska to Tierre del Fuego, Argentina. To date, they haver reached many milestones and have set world records for Daryl and Davy as the youngest cyclists to complete the Dalton and Alaskan Highway.

Family on Bikes: On The Border in Los Caminos del Rio and McAllen Texas

Donne Tempo — 2009-02-24T22:40:05-05:00

“If you will be passing through here on your journey, I’d like to take you all out to dinner.” The next email mentioned that Team McAllen, the local cycling club, would like to have a barbeque for us, and that the executive director of Los Caminos del Rio had offered us space in his home. ...By the time we actually cycled into McAllen, the entire town had been alerted of our arrival, and we were greeted with more honks and smiles and thumbs-up that we could have imagined. ...And so it was that we found ourselves as honored guests at a professional hockey game and the kids were riding the ice-cleaning machine before the game and during breaks. ...“Could you guys stick around a few days to help promote the valley-wide trail network I’m working on?” ... “I’d love to get you out there on the canals, but I can’t do it until the weekend.” Eric Ellman, the Executive Director of Los Caminos del Rio, is working hard to establish a network of hike/bike trails using the vast array of canals in the valley. ...A few days later we headed out onto the canals with a group of fifteen cyclists on a chilly morning and explored the network of waterways. It became immediately apparent that a high priority item is pedestrian walkways over the roads in order to connect the various segments of canals. I also recognized right away that the valley could be the premier cycling area of the state if they could only manage to develop the canal network. ...In addition to the canal trails, Mission Trails, a mountain bike club in the area, has developed a series of single-track trails through the desert. ...But there was one final treat for us on the US side – the Pump House Museum. ...Eventually the vast network of canals was dug and a pump house built to lift water out of the river and deliver it to 40,000 acres of fields. ...Now, the pumps have been converted to an electric system rendering the old steam engines obsolete, and the ancient pump house has been converted to a fascinating museum. The pump house lies right on the banks of the river, so it was a short jaunt to the bridge over the Rio Grande to Mexico. ...One of the many people we had been privileged to meet in McAllen was Claudio, former head of the motorcycle police brigade in Mexico. Claudio had offered to help us out in any way he could and we were more than honored to have his help. As soon as we appeared on the Mexican side of the border, motorcycles appeared out of nowhere to escort us to Claudio’s home for the night. Our little rag-tag bunch of cyclists looked like backwoods hicks compared to the slick, shiny, powerful motorcycles escorting us through the city, but it was a wonderful experience to have them stop the traffic for us. ...Escorted by two police motorcycles, one police car, and four members of the motorcycle club, we made our way to the mayor’s office where we were officially welcomed to Reynosa and to Mexico. From there we made our way to a local school, where the principal and all his students welcomed us once again. I’ll admit we were more than a bit apprehensive about riding through a Mexican city as large as Reynosa, but Claudio had assured us it would be a problem. ...Accompanied by our enormous entourage of security personnel, we slowly snaked out way through the city as our escorts stopped traffic. After thousands of miles of watching traffic and being ultra-careful of cars, it was a bizarre feeling to simply pedal knowing others would stop the traffic for us.

Paper houses for you and me

Donne Tempo — 2009-01-11T17:55:29-05:00

Way back in the early stages of my traveling career, I was fascinated by the exoticness – the differentness – of the places I visited. ...It seemed, at the time, that people around the world were all so different. ...I slept in pure stone lodges above the tree line in the Himalayas, adobe brick homes in Mexico, reed huts in Thailand, mud tukuls in Ethiopia, yurts made of animal hides in China, and cow-dung abodes in Kenya. They were all so different and I was utterly fascinated by them all. Fast forward a decade or two and I’m still fascinated by the structures we live in – but for a very different reason. Whereas I used to focus on the differentness of them all, now I’ve come full circle and am now seeing the sameness of them all. You see, I’ve now come to realize that mankind depends on the resources around us to meet our basic needs. ...I’ve come to the conclusion that there really is no difference between stone lodging high in the mountains and adobe huts in the deserts. ...

So I probably shouldn’t have been surprised to see houses made of paper… but I’ll admit I was. Somehow I never considered the possibility of using readily available discarded paper to build a shelter – but maybe I should have. ...According to Stan, innovative people around the US are experimenting with using recycled paper to build houses. These people have developed a material called papercrete – a mixture of paper and cement – and they are creating low-cost and energy efficient homes with paper which would otherwise end up in a landfill. Construction with papercrete begins with preparing paper pulp from old newspapers, discarded phonebooks, and whatever other paper they can round up. All the paper and a bunch of water is dumped into a “towmixer” where saw blades grind it all up to made a thick paste, or “slurry”. ...Traditional concrete is made from sand or gravel mixed with cement – papercrete simply replaces the sand with paper. The benefit of the paper, however, is that paper is fibrous so it requires much less cement than traditional concrete. Depending on what that particular batch of papercrete will be used for, the builder can vary the amount of cement added – a bit more for floors; less for walls.

Papercrete can be made into bricks as well, just like traditional concrete. ... The resulting bricks are durable, but about 1/6 the weight of traditional concrete blocks – which makes building with papercrete much less fatiguing. With all the advantages of building with paper – including the ultra low-cost, the extreme insulation it provides, and the environmentally friendly nature of it, paper seems to be the ideal building material. ...Stan also pointed out that, although papercrete is very low-cost now, as soon as more people are building with it and the demand for recycled paper increases, the cost will go up. The other major disadvantage of working with papercrete at this time is the difficulty in finding equipment. Equipment designed for mixing traditional concrete is built for extremely heavy loads – and is very expensive as a result. ...Will I find myself traveling in the country twenty years from now and staying in paper houses?

The Vogel family reaches Fort Nelson, B.C., Canada

Donne Tempo — 2008-08-28T23:51:23-04:00

By Anne Jones, Fort Nelson News, Special to Donne Tempo (Fort Nelson, British Columbia) August 14, 2008 … Daryl and David Vogel study geography and history every day. ...The ten-year-old twins are on a two and a half year bicycle trip from Prudhoe Bay (the most northern point in Alaska, about 805 kilometres from Fairbanks) to the most southern tip of Argentina with their parents, John Vogel and Nancy Sathre-Vogel. ... “It’s a great education for them,” John Vogel said. ... The boys are entering Grade 5 by correspondence, but they don’t get a summer vacation from their studies chuckled John Vogel. The pleasantly unorthodox family, who reside in Boise, Idaho when not living road side, spent a few nights in Fort Nelson this past weekend on the way south. ...The lure of a grocery store got them into town before 1 p.m. on Friday. They stayed at the Westend Campground Friday night, but were hosted by David Moore, General Manager at the Woodlands Inn Saturday and Sunday nights. ...

“The Woodland Inn was proud to have this family stay with us," David Moore, General Manager The Woodlands Inn said. "It is fun for us to be a part of this epic journey.” ...This Family-On-Bikes’ route will take them from Forth Nelson through Jasper, Banff, the Rocky Mountains and through Mainland, Mexico, on their way to Argentina. ...John Vogel jokes that the family decided to embark on the journey because his wife wanted to however the catalyst behind the journey is the twin-boys quest to break the Guiness World Record for youngest cyclists to complete the 20,000 mile Pan-American highway. ...This is not the family’s first journey and John and Nancy have ridden throughout 16 different countries. Their most previous journey took the family on a yearlong trip around Mexico and the U.S. ...Since much of their route has been sparsely populated so far, the family has had no choice but to camp along the way. ...Sathre-Vogel and Vogel’s bikes have trailers, which have lots of carrying capacity, holding a laptop computer, clothes, lots of food, and a cookstove. ...“This last stretch was incredible,” Nancy Sathre-Vogel says that it was the family’s second longest distance between towns: Watson Lake to Fort Nelson at about 530 kilometres. Their longest distance was their trek from Prudhoe Bay to Fairbanks. ...Nancy Sathre-Vogel says it takes two to three weeks for your body to get used to the all-day cycling without getting sore, but after that, the experience is worth it. ...You can keep track of the Vogel family on their website Family on Bikes. ...Anne Jones is a contributer to the Fort Nelson News and the newest member of the Donne Tempo Magazine writing team! ...The Vogel Family has reached Ground Zero, Dawson Creek, B.C. Canada completeing the first of many milestones and seeting a world record for Daryl and Davy as the youngest cyclists to complete the Alaskan Highway.

Sheep riding? Bull Hockey!

Donne Tempo — 2008-08-28T22:44:23-04:00

I lived in New York City for close to a decade, surrounded by concrete, steel and six or seven million people all wanting to live on the same three square miles. ...I’ve seen rodeo events on television – I knew to expect the barrel racing, the bronco riding, and the bull riding. ... I wasn’t prepared for the adrenaline and pure terror rush of seeing a 3,000 pound bull stomp on a 150 pound man. ... I kept reassuring them that 1) the cowboys were professionals, they knew what they were doing and they did it often and 2) they were doing this because they loved it and 3) they were all probably a wee bit funny in the head. The kids weren’t impressed: the girls kept asking to leave (but we were on the top of the crowded bleachers) and the boy just pulled out a book and read. ...A three year old child was released from the shoot hanging tightly onto the neck of a large sheep that did NOT want to be there and did NOT want this wee child riding it! The sheep darted this way and that as the child fell sideways off of the sheep dangerously close to the animal’s pounding hooves. The second child, also age three, held on longer and barely missed having his small, unprotected head rammed into the metal fencepost at an alarming speed. The sheep then vaulted the child over its head and the child landed, face-first and open-mouthed, in the dirt. ...And that’s only an issue after you’ve decided, as a parent, to put your toddler on the back of a sheep (NOT an animal designed or trained for carrying people) and hope for the best while you laugh and take pictures! I still won’t let our seven year old cross our narrow, country street to get the mail – because I’m not convinced he’ll be safe! And then I realized it was some genetic bent towards “stupid rodeo tricks” that allowed parents to volunteer their offspring. ...My husband and I figured it was a hockey game played with manure – stinky but safe. ...Eight men volunteered to enter the arena after signing waivers guaranteeing they wouldn’t sue in case of death or dismemberment. ... The professional cowboys and the bull fighter (rodeo clown) LEFT the field to these idiots then released one large, horned, angry bull. ...The bull, surprisingly, was not amenable to this task, and proceeded to attempt to shish-kebob the testosterone soaked cretins that were interrupting his day. One man received a slash to his face that would require stitches, and another fell under the bull’s stomping hooves. He was able to scoot under the gate to safety while a team member pummeled the bull’s head to distract the animal from the kill zone. Finally, after an eternity, the buzzer sounded and professional cowboys entered the arena to guide the animal away. ... My husband directed my attention to the arena where the men were AGAIN forming sides in preparation for the next bull. ...At this point we grabbed our children and bags and pushed through the people below us until we were close enough to the ground to jump off the side of the bleachers. It was over the children’s heads – but they vaulted to the ground without hesitation - and kept running. We were close on their heels as the five of us sprinted away from the crowd’s roar towards safety and sanity. I could be wrong, but I’m thinking we’re just not “rodeo” people!

Our Diet: The Cure for What Ails Us?

Donne Tempo — 2008-08-28T22:36:45-04:00

Secondly, change upsets everyone close to you, since they are much more comfortable with you maintaining the status quo, as well. ...Case in point: my mother was recently diagnosed with diabetes – on top of her high cholesterol and high blood pressure. ...That means, in addition to eliminating meat and seafood you’ll be cutting out eggs, milk and dairy products as well. ... The followers of the vegan diet had fasting blood sugar levels 59% lower than their ADA counterparts, and were able to reduce or eliminate their medication and still control their glucose levels. ... It’s important to note that the ADA diet is a much healthier diet than most Americans enjoy. ...Neal Barnard’s Program for Reversing Diabetes does an excellent job of explaining the disease and the cure, as well giving easy directions for beginning a vegan lifestyle. ... We were able to pick up all the necessary ingredients at the local grocery store, but an hour drive to the nearest Trader Joe’s grocery store saved us a wad of cash. ...We returned home with bags of brown rice, 9-grain mix, quinoa, whole grain tortillas, sprouted grain cinnamon raison bread, hummus, tofu, veggies, soymilk and assorted vegan “meat” products. ...It’s important to start the day with plenty of whole grains, so I tried various grains (steel cut oats, 9-grain cracked cereal) in the slow cooker overnight. ... I much prefer putting the grains in a heavy pot over medium heat and toasting them somewhat, then adding the appropriate amount of water. Bring to a boil, then cover, reduce the heat, and simmer til done (about 20 minutes for flaked grains, or 45 minutes for whole grains). Then I add various dried fruit (you can cook the fruit along with the grains, to plump them), seeds or ground flaxseed and maybe some soymilk and agave sweetener. ...For example, cubed tofu fried in a tablespoon each of olive oil, soy sauce and agave sweetener is quick and amazingly good, even to tofu newbies! ...Other recipes included Nearly Instant Thai Coconut Corn Soup and Thai Pineapple Stir-Fried Rice (ok, I like Thai food – but she had a LOT of other recipes, too!) ...I threw lentils, onions & garlic, shredded carrots and kale into a crock-pot with some vegetarian broth and extra water one morning, and we returned home to a nutritious, yummy stew! For lunch we’d layer hummus, Thai-broccoli coleslaw, vegetarian re-fried beans and fresh salsa into a whole grain wrap – it was amazing! ...After enjoying the foods for a few days and reading about the overall health benefits of the lifestyle, I decided to try it myself! ...I have no doubt that this diet will not only help her diabetes, but her high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels and her diverticulitis! ...From my own lessons from the front: make sure you have quick food on hand and eat some kind of food every few hours or so. ...If these books and studies are correct, we need not resign ourselves to the inevitable American diseases that leave us dependent on the pharmaceutical industry for our very lives. ...I think folks tend to believe the commercials about how milk does a body good, or how our bodies need animal protein to survive. ... But whole, healthy foods taste fantastic – and leave me feeling much more satisfied than a greasy cheeseburger or heavy macaroni and cheese. But it’s hard to give up our comfort food, and friends will be happy to talk you out of such drastic change. ...Get your blood levels checked before and after so you have hard numbers for the naysayers, in addition to your personal testimony.

It’s Summer – Let’s Eat!

Donne Tempo — 2008-08-04T21:10:47-04:00

Question: What’s so great about Maryland in the summer? ...Summer in Maryland can best be described with three words: Hot, Humid and Colorful. We may be wilting from the heat during the day and battling King Kong mosquitoes at night – but we’re laughing through the haze as we devour the local flavor. Summer has yet again blessed us with a cornucopia of vibrant, savory foods from local farmers. Your local Farmers’ Market is overflowing with red, pink and yellow tomatoes, green and yellow squash, green beans, cucumbers, peaches, blueberries, blackberries, cherries and more! ...It’s fresh, crisp and flavorful right out of the garden – and the nutrients pack the greatest wallop then, too! Fresh produce loses nutrients quickly, so once it’s been on a truck for a week it’s barely worth eating. Local farmers also plant more varieties of vegetables, because different strands are harvested at different times. This preserves the genetic diversity of our food, rather than settling for the one variety that produces well, withstands every hardship, and is able to be mechanically harvested without damage. ...Vow to spend just $8-$10 a week on local foods, and you’ll make a significant impact on your local economy and your neighborhood farmers. Talk with your local farmers at CSA’s (community supported agriculture) and Farmer’s Markets. These folks have a wealth of information that they’re happy to share – just ask! Easy recipes, information about a vegetable you’ve never tried, storage techniques: they’ll have answers! Buying locally also reduces your own carbon footprint, as most food is transported an average of 1300 miles before it graces your table. Now let your mind envision the large, powerful corporations that make the storage and transport of your food possible. Should your precious food dollars support these environmental nightmares or might they be better used supporting your local community? ...We’ve all been sucked into believing the television commercials – that eating the processed, packaged food from South America gives us more time and allows us to live the American Dream. ...Diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure are common afflictions leading to our support of another mega-industry – pharmaceutical. (don’t worry, that’s a rant for another day). In our grandparents generation families gathered in the kitchen and at the table – and talked as they prepared and enjoyed their foods. Today we collapse in front of the television, usually in different rooms. ...It’s time to re-think the American Dream. ...We can’t do everything at once – but we can commit to gradual, consistent change. For now, let’s start by buying – and eating - a few local food products each week. ...

Ah, Summer

Donne Tempo — 2008-07-11T00:18:46-04:00

Like other people of my generation, I lament the passing of the summers I had as a child. The unstructured days of wading through creeks and running through neighborhoods, unadorned by adults, unaccountable, free. We played kickball and tag and games with loose rules involving "getting the guy with the ball." We rode bikes for miles, from house to house, collecting friends for various adventures, rarely planned, never scheduled. We skinner our knees and rolled down hills and chased each other up, down, around. At the pool, we jumped off the diving boards and swam until the life guards called break, then sat on the edge swinging our feet in the water waiting for the terminal "adult only swim" to end. We rode our bikes home at the end of the day, our toes pruney and our skin brown. We ate the sweetest watermelon I've ever tasted, probably because we only ate it in the summer, and clamored when the ice cream man came through the neighborhood ringing his bell. We ate peanut butter and jelly or tomato sandwiches, and had never heard of a chicken finger. We didn't see an adult, or a tv, and certainly not a video game, the entire day, never asked our parents to take us anywhere, never considered the need for anything that plugged in or turned on. We ran and rode and played, our hair flying behind us loose, our faces dirty and sweaty and tanned. No one ever smeared us with suntan lotion or gave us a cell phone. No one told us to check in or to come home for anything but dinner. Late afternoons, or early evenings, were for séances on back porches or, later, for truth or dare. At night we collecting lightning bugs in glass jars and danced in our back yards and looked at the constellations, which shone brightly in the night sky, hoping to see a shooting star. ...At bedtime, we slept as soon as our heads hit the pillow, content and worn out, dreaming of the hot, happy, voluptuous day ahead. I look at my son and feel a little sad that he will never experience the kind of freedom we had as kids. He has play dates – which for us would have meant a pretend date – and he goes to camp – highly organized activities where counselors assure parents there is no unsupervised time – and plays sports on sports teams. He will never wake up in the morning, grab a bat and a ball and run out the door yelling, "I'll be home by 6 for dinner" or take a languid walk to the corner to meet up with friends before heading to the woods to climb trees for a few hours. I panic when he's in the men's room alone for more than 5 minutes (to the point that I stand at the door and start calling him). True, he's happy, and his life is good. But I wish for him one evening of fireflies and freedom, of hand-churned home made ice cream and fresh sweet corn, of running through woods and playing in streams, without a hovering parent or a scheduled return time, and without once wondering what is on tv. ...But a girl can dream, can't she?

The Mount Everest of Personal Achievement

Donne Tempo — 2008-07-06T21:17:17-04:00

There are occasional squalls and the isolated shark, but their goal is the return to serenity, to calm. Others follow the NASCAR approach to life, racing as fast as possible, trying not to wipe out completely, with the life goal of being first. There’s a LOT of these types on the highway near my home, racing towards the beach. ...Every time I seem to be getting my life under control I add yet another element to juggle. I’m a terrible juggler, and yet I’m always pushing myself to juggle MORE. ...Therefore, I continually throw things into the mix to keep me on my toes. That could explain the 1900’s house of horrors, the three kids within 3.5 years, the decision to homeschool said kids, the 2 dogs and 3 cats and the latest addition, 8 baby chicks. And don’t forget the vegetable garden, making homemade bread & bread products, and moving my entire family from junk food junkies to eating whole foods. There was also the whole home birth saga and alternative medicine decision, but those are either in the past or under control. ... Really, if I do this to myself because I like the challenge – shouldn’t I be BETTER at handling it by now??? Case in point, the HOUSE. (my husband just looked up and uttered, “Oh crap, she’s writing about the house again!” ...Anyway, we fell in love with this broken down 1900’s house FIVE YEARS AGO. We took the first six months to make it livable, new roof, hot water, a second bathroom. ...We had put out the main fires concerning the house, and were now dealing with other fires: children, education, career, etc. ...Now we’re also adding home businesses and my writing career to the mix. This is my Mount Everest – not hurdles to overcome but events and routines that become a part of my foundation, allowing me to continue building skyward. ...I couldn’t keep my balance on a perfectly smooth mountain, I’d slide right off. My ledges allow me to catch myself and address the problem at hand, thus making my foundation even stronger. ...One is that you never reach the top, you build your mountain your entire life, always enjoying the thrill of new heights and new challenges. I prefer door number two: You build your mountain with care and love, learning along the way. ... If your foundation is strong enough you eventually reach a pinnacle and stand upon it, gazing at the distance. You look at your mountain with love, and realize this is your home, your heart, and your strength. ... But you will always, always return to your mountain, the source of your strength. ...

A place for me at the BackCountry Cabins at Abingdon, VA

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-28T15:51:36-04:00

I don’t always take good care of myself. I get caught up in the 900 daily things I HAVE to do – and I forget to make time for ME! ...It’s part of being a woman, we tend to put everyone and everything ahead of ourselves. And then something wonderful happens, and we’re reminded how much we need to be nourished and nurtured, too.
In my case, I spent two incredible days and nights at the BackCountry cabin at Whites Mill, on the outskirts of Abingdon, Virginia. To be honest, I was a tad nervous about taking my entire family to a cabin I had never seen. Then we arrived and met Tracy Mitchell. She and her husband, Mark restored the cabin about five years ago, and their love and commitment to the romantic bungalow is evident in every corner. Mark Mitchell, currently serving in Iraq, crafted all the hand-hewn front porch, the fireplace mantle, the wooden vanity and the kitchen island. The house is furnished and decorated with love – with handmade curtains in the two bedrooms and autographed local interest books on the coffee table! Dishes and pans and a coffeepot – complete with coffee – were waiting in the kitchen. The television doesn’t get great reception in the mountains, but VHS tapes were abundant. It was the perfect tiny house. But the spectacular views from the front porch answered the yearnings of my soul. The cabin is on a hill behind historic Whites Mill, and the front porch offers you a glimpse of the mill (complete with stream), mercantile store, and three or four adjoining mountains dotted with cows, sheep and goats. Spring flowers brightened the vision and pleased the senses. The call of the birds and calves entertained us far better than network television. ...I could feel the tension and stress leaving my tired shoulders and neck as I relaxed and breathed in the serenity. This is why people go on retreat – to relax and rejuvenate their spirits. I had been denying myself this essential ingredient of spiritual health – it just didn’t seem practical. ...Regardless of the stressors of daily life, we need and deserve a chance to relax and rediscover the joy of living. Abingdon, Virginia is an incredible retreat destination – far enough from home to feel different, but only half a day’s drive away. I look forward to revisiting her gracious bounty, and the BackCountry cabin with the best front porch in town!

To Consume or to Conserve

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-21T18:48:27-04:00

We want to save the planet and her resources, but feel overwhelmed by people telling us we need to do 927 things daily to conserve. ...To use carefully, avoiding waste; to protect from loss or harm. Pretty much the polar opposite of consume - which might explain why we are trained to think of ourselves as consumers, not conservers. ...Yes, we have a tendency to accumulate stuff – maybe more than we need. ... And really – don’t we deserve the things we want? ...What would happen if we chose more carefully – if we didn’t buy quickly, without thought or focus? ... What if we ensured that our financial support would go to individuals or small businesses, rather than huge faceless corporations? What if we took the time to consider the ramifications of our choices, rather than spending blindly? Would we then care more deeply for our treasures, and protect them? ...I had needed one for some time, but hadn’t found one that fit into my hands. But then I visited historic White’s Mill and Mercantile Store in Abingdon, Virginia. There, in a corner of this country store, stood a straw broom handmade by a local Appalachian. ... With my $30 purchase I supported a local artist AND the restoration of White’s Mill. ... I now sweep my floors gracefully, feeling connected to countless generations of women who have kept the hearth. I believe that careful choices will help us be better conservers. ...We don’t value it, we don’t really want it, and being surrounded by it causes our stress levels to rise. But we also don’t want to throw it away – for one thing, our landfills are already overcrowded! We need to get it out of our lives – yet remain conservers. ...Most areas have freecycle lists on yahoogroups – it’s a great way to get free stuff or to bless others with things you no longer value! ...I’m always on the lookout for used Le Creuset – cookware that I adore, but don’t have to buy new! Speaking of kitchen-ware, my girlfriend and I recently visited some local antique malls. She found an assorted collection of glass/pyrex food containers from the 60’s and 70’s. ...Our baby chicks arrive soon, and I want to take pictures of them around the antique basket they will eventually fill with their lovely brown, blue and green eggs! I searched through the nooks and crannies of different antique malls and rejected the first two egg baskets we found – I didn’t love them.

Do not call us just the “fairer sex”

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-21T18:44:15-04:00

I watched this slideshow, produced by The Washington Times and I did not see women in Pakistan. ...How can a man decide to disfigure, rape, beat or kill his female family members because of HIS misguided belief that the global feminine we have some debt to pay to his honor? How is it that corruption in the name of greed is allowed to destroy so many of the earth’s sisters? I think of the biblical saying “the meek shall inherit the earth.” I, and many of the women I know, would not be seen as “meek” as these women do, but we share our gender with these women, who in the face of nothing, still smile, hold hands, enjoy and celebrate together. The other night I gathered my girlfriends together to dance, drink a little (ok, a lot) and laugh with me as I meet that 50 –year -old milestone. In the faces of these women, I see my girlfriends. ...I am by fair the oldest of the crew, but probably the one with a tendency to go farther, dance harder then the rest. ...I love to hug them, be with them, and share with them. It’s not sexual, though I find them to each have their own unique sexuality. It is that they bring me joy, which brings out the hugs, the kisses. The desire to twirl them around on the dance floor and laugh as we shake and shimmy with abandon. I don’t dance well, but I dance with great enthusiasm because it is freeing for that hour, or two, to not care what anyone thinks, but to just move with great joie de vivre, And I saw that in these women of Pakistan shelters. Though their lives are very meager – particularly by my white, middle-class American standings - still they smile, they hug, they braid each others hair and it seems, even twirl around a bit. I think maybe a small part of their joy is being with other women. Women, who are soft, gentle and will not hurt with words or fists. ...It may be that that biblical reference of the meek, is that women shall inherit the earth. And when we do, I truly hope we do better than the “mightier sex” has done. You see we are called the “fairer sex,” which is usually interpreted to mean light, of less substance. ...I know I shall forever see it as meaning we are the kinder, more reasonable, safer, saner, and reasonable sex. ...But with joy, righteousness and the ability to still love, when all else is lost. We may be the meek, but this is the meek of mildness and comfort, not fear. And I hope we, the sisters of the earth, inherit this world – and that we do so soon.

Time in a Bottle

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-08T17:10:04-04:00

I’ve often thought I wanted to put time in a bottle – I’ve wanted to stash away precious moments with my children, knowing my boys will take off on their own all too soon. I, like most parents, want nothing more than to be with my children and watch them grow. I’ve also learned throughout the years there is something wonderful about traveling with children. Kids see the world with a very unique perspective and, as adults, through kids’ eyes is a great way to see the world. My husband and I feel we’ve got the best of all possible worlds bicycling around the world with our children. We’ll see the world with our boys, and we’ll be with them as they grow and mature – could anything be better? ...Yes, there will be times when the thought of a nice, comfortable bed back home is tempting. And yet, I believe the good times on the journey will more than compensate for those times. ...As we travel, our sleeping arrangements vary widely, and we rarely have any idea where we might end up each night. We aim for campgrounds, national forest, or BLM lands, but the reality is there are many nights when that’s not possible. ... It is, however, more likely that we are out in the country by nightfall, and we will look for whatever location we can find that will be safe. Many times that somewhere ended up being a field on the side of the road - we headed back off the road and hid behind trees or bushes. We’ve been known to sleep in people’s garages (with permission, of course), in vacant fields, beneath towering cacti, and in forests of every imaginable kind. But always, every single night, we found a safe place to lay our heads. At the beginning of our last journey, I found myself panicking when nightfall approached if we didn’t yet have a place to camp. ... But over time, when we somehow managed to find a place night after night after night, I began to relax in the knowledge that we would find a place - somewhere, somehow. ...I just knew we would find a place, and ceased the worrying. In fact, by the end of the trip I would jokingly say, “OK, God - you can do your thing now!” ...We stop at grocery stores in nearly every town we pass through, and stock up for the stretches in between. In a typical visit to the grocery store, I will load up my shopping cart with a couple boxes of granola bars, a package or two of pasta, tortillas, peanut butter, jelly, yogurt, cheese, and cereal. We may spend more in food than other travelers, but we pay a lot less in gas! ...The rest of the day we eat foods we can pull out of our panniers and eat quickly and easily…. ...Nancy and her familie’s journey take off on this Sunday as they fly to Prudhoe Bay to begin their trek – 20,000 miles – to Tierre del Fuego, South America. We hope to be there, along side her and the her “men” cheering them into the record books.

The Dancing Womyn Greets the Dawn

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-08T17:00:23-04:00

It’s a new “first” in my life. I have actually dug and planted a garden AND I haven’t killed anything! No blossoms, yet – so I have yet to figure out the intricacies of zucchini sex. My girlfriend had to “help” her zucchini plants achieve fertilization last year – I’m still not overly clear on the method. ...I am attributing my current earth goddess success to my new morning ritual, which I began in early March. Every day around dawn I trek out back to the edge of our property and look out over the wheat field and watch the sun rise. ...The first step is into the moment – I notice the sights, sounds, smells and textures that surround me. The dampness of the dawn, the chilly breeze that raises goose pimples on my bare arms. ...I remind myself of my gifts, my strengths and my talents. I affirm that I am capable of turning around any situation, as long as my vision remains positive and strong. I remind myself how wonderful it is to be me – and I fortunate I am to greet another incredible day. I focus on abundance in my life; abundant love, abundant opportunities, abundant resources. I smile with the absolute knowledge that I am exactly where I need to be at this time in my life. Finally, I step into the uncertainties that the day may bring. I again acknowledge that I can successfully handle anything that comes my way. ...My ritual complete, I then check and tend my garden while I sing my “Dancing Womyn” song. I wrote the song during the winter, and singing it always empowers me. It is my spirit song, reminding me of my past, my strengths and my path.
powered by ODEO ...I am the earth that grounds me ...It’s my time to change the world. I am the dancing womyn ...It’s my time to change the world! ...May the song lend strength to your spirit and focus to your path.

Risk & The Indianapolis 500

Donne Tempo — 2008-06-05T20:54:13-04:00

That got me thinking about risk, and wondering whether risk-taking behavior is culturally determined. ...I think an individual’s preference toward risk is highly influenced by both societal norms about gender and cultural views that either celebrate or discourage risk. Of the 36 drivers who qualified for the 92nd Indy 500, two are women. ... One is Danica Patrick, probably the driver best known by non-Indy car fans, who one columnist recently described as a “5ft 2in, 100lb bundle of marketing gold.” What most people know about her is that she is attractive and has an excellent public relations firm. The other woman who qualified is 27-year-old Sarah Fisher. She’s not nearly as well known or as well marketed as Danica Patrick, but she is also young and attractive and has recently received coverage for those two qualities. Few non-Indy fans know anything about the records or racing history of either woman. ...Obviously, Sarah Fisher and Danica Patrick are exceptions, but as a whole, we remain steered toward nurturing and care giving, which tends to avoid putting our lives on the line for thrill. ...The other thing that stands out to me about the Indy 500 is the differential between the number of Brazilians who qualify and the number of Japanese who qualify. Yep, I know it’s a stereotype, but in general, Brazilians have a reputation for adventure. ...Japanese culture, on the other hand, tends to applaud men who follow rules, accept responsibility, and behave appropriately. ...There were five Brazilian drivers who qualified for the race. ... True, Brazil has a larger population than Japan – Brazil has about 188,078,227 people while Japan has a mere 127,493,611 – but that doesn’t seem to explain the discrepancy. ...Helio Castroneves, currently number two in the Indy Car rankings, has been one of People’s Most Beautiful and is frequently on magazine covers. He looks like the poster boy for racing, for drafting cars at 200 miles per hour, and darting into miniscule gaps between cars. ...By the way, there were 11 US drivers in the race. Of those 11, two were from Indiana, two were from Ohio, and three were from California. The other US drivers were from Texas, Illinois, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Pennsylvania (but that’s the Andretti family, probably the most European Pennsylvanian’s I know about), Connecticut, and Colorado. I realize this is far from a definitive study, based on purely empirical data and a very small sample. But it’s still interesting to think about. Is love of risk encouraged by society, specific to gender and country of origin? ... It seems to me some cultures encourage thrill-seeking by the male members of the population more than others. And hey, if nothing else, writing about Indy car drivers lets us say “Helio Castroneves,” which is pretty fun.

Drink Up Mate

Donne Tempo — 2008-05-17T18:45:23-04:00

Every weekend in Recoleta, Buenos Aires there is a huge sell and do anything and everything-circus-festival-tango dancing-hair braiding-musician performing-show, observed by locals relaxing on grassy knolls, while sharing a round of mate. ...The mate or Yerba mate as it is also called, is made from the dried and chopped leaf of the llex paraguayenisis plant, a relative of the common holly. ...Argentina is the world’s largest producer and consumer of Yerba mate and Argentines consume an average of 5kg per person per year, more then four times their average intake of coffee. ...However, mate is more then just a drink it is a custom; meant to be shared among friends and family, in a ritualistic ceremony. One person the cebador (server) fills the mate gourd almost to the top with the dried herb, and then heated but never boiling water is poured into the gourd. The drink is then sipped through a bombilla, a silver metal straw with a strainer on the end that prevents the leaf particles from entering the tube. The gourd is then passed clockwise to the next person after the first cup is drunk dry by the cebador. Each person drinks the gourd dry each time and then passes it back to the cebador for a refilling from the thermos of hot water. A good cebador will keep the mate going without changing the Yerba for some time. ...One can shop to their hearts content at the Recoleta weekend fair; every other vendor sells some form of the mate cup. Not surprisingly many mate-drinking Argentineans will not go anywhere without a thermos under their arms and a mate gourd in their hands. Even gas stations in Argentina are equipped with giant tanks of precisely heated water for drinkers on the road. According to nutritionists mate helps improve mental clarity and digestion, regulates appetite, increases endurance, sustains energy levels, boosts the immune system, helps relieve allergies, detoxifies the blood, and relieve depression. ...So, my husband, Jon and I decided we had to try mate for ourselves. Our Buenos Aires rental apartment came equipped with a thermos, mate gourd, and bag of mate; it was advertised as fully furnished and in Argentina that means complete with mate and accessories. We cleaned out the silver plated gourd that was sitting on the shelf in the kitchen. “Ok, ok, first we need to make some hot water, but not boil it,” I instructed Jon. Jon threw the kettle on the stove and began heating the water, while I opened the bag of dried herb. “Alright, now we are supposed to fill this 2/3 full,” I spoke to myself while spooning loose tea particles into our gourd, half of which I spilled on the kitchen counter. “Now we’re supposed to wet the tea with cold water and insert the straw.” ...“Now pour that hot water in, right next to the straw,” I told Jon. ...He took a sip through the filtered straw and got a mouthful of green particle filled water. ...We packed the gourd again, wet it, inserted the straw, and poured in hot water. ...I admit that making it using the classic tea bag brewing method it is a fine tea and I drink it all the time.

Three Tips For Women Getting Divorced

Donne Tempo — 2008-05-17T18:41:23-04:00

That’s one of the best descriptions I have heard, because it contains all the elements of fear, adrenaline, exhaustion, surprise, hurt, anger, distress, disbelief, and a thousand other things you feel when it is happening. Even when divorce is the right decision, the process is often more difficult than people believe it will be. People often find themselves mourning he loss of the life they thought they were going to have, the future they believe they were in-line to live. They also find the cracking of the carefully-constructed candy coating difficult; when they face the unhappy life they are living, they allow themselves and friends and family to see the truth they have hidden for a long time. When they let themselves to see the reality, it can be very difficult. ...For women stepping into this process, there are three critical things they need to help them emerge whole on the other side; a good friend, a good therapist, and a good attorney, in that order. ...Divorce weeds out the pretenders, and in a very short period of time, you will know who your real friends are. The key is to find the person who really cares for you – your mother, sister, cousin, aunt, godmother, friend – and lean on them. ...They hate seeing themselves as The Crying Woman or The Self Doubting Woman or The Woman Who Was Really Unhappy and Left But Now People Think She Ruined Her Perfectly Good Life and Now She’s Depressed, so they continue to build the façade of happiness and crumble inside. ...Even when you’re wrong, she will hold your hand and hug you and make sure you are eating. ... She will also laugh with you and cry with you and tell you every single day it’s going to be ok. ...That means she doesn’t always agree with you, and will say so (in a kind way). ... Sometimes, she (or he) will agree with your soon-to-be-ex, but will do it in a way that makes you stop and think, and she will do it in a way that doesn’t make you defensive or angry. ...Do not hesitate to therapist shop until you find the person who is the right one for you. ...Surprisingly, it’s not uncommon for women to get overwhelmed by the process of identifying a good attorney and settling for someone with a law degree and specialty in “family law” rather than the right attorney for her specific situation. ... Accept that finding the right attorney is a critical step in the right direction, and failure to find the right person to represent you can cost you thousands of dollars and hours of emotional turmoil. ...Make sure it is someone who will treat you with respect, return your phone calls, and answer your questions. ...Women often find they are more comfortable having a female attorney represent them in the divorce process. They tend to be more able to see the female point of view and to understand a female client. ...If at any time during the process, you are dissatisfied with your attorney, end the affiliation and find a different one. This can be difficult because we tend to feel invested with an attorney after a certain amount of time. ... If an attorney is not representing you well, you will lose things that are important to you, and it will cost you more to review the judgment than to go find another attorney. ...But you need outside help to get through the mess; find the people who can help, and lean on them. Remember, there are people out there who care, and who know what they’re doing, and they can make even the hard stuff a little easier.

Motherhood, Parenting and Growth

Donne Tempo — 2008-05-10T19:51:52-04:00

I could comfortably posit that it does, indeed, make you a better person. Motherhood allowed me to grow as a person in a way that no other experience could. It gave me the chance to care about someone more than myself, in a healthy way. I was self-consumed because my primary responsibility was to care for my own well being. Motherhood allowed me to break out of that selfishness and assume the role of a primary caregiver. I was suddenly consumed with purpose, every moment of my life I was doing what I had been created to do. ...This honeymoon period lasts a few years, if you have one child, and can continue in many forms indefinitely, but only until your next child is born if you have a second. You then realize that there is no possibility of fulfilling your great purpose to two small needy beings at once. ...As the parent of more than one child you cannot always respond immediately and this too can be a good thing developmentally. Those years of successful dedication and fulfilling bonding are a gift but realizing that organization, advance planning, and schedules can help you avoid obvious conflicts of interest and attention. It helps you to accept that you are not the perfect, all doing, totally loved and loving creature you thought you might be after all, which is actually a good thing to know. It is also good to know that perfect or not you are still given the gift of serving your children and fostering their secure attachment to you and the world. ...Then your child, who has been developing their sense of self in a wonderful and appropriate way, and seeking your approval with each step, must challenges the very structures of your paradigm. How can I tell the truth if you want me to be polite? How can it be fair for me to apologize when I am not at fault? ...More likely, than not, your child will not reach the same conclusions you have and it may take them years to accept that you have valid opinions after all, whether they agree or not. ...What defines us is as much what we do not believe as what we do. ...Parenting now has the same rules that parenting toddlers did: be consistent, be positive, stay calm! I find that the current gift parenting has given me is considering again my basic understanding of the world, of what is just, and how I can make the world a better place. I must be ready to define and defend, or explore and clarify, my positions in order to share them. Motherhood is to be exalted, because it enlarges one’s heart, and one’s world. ...Churches require that families accept the natural consequences of married life and have large families. ...So the job, much revered, of motherhood gives much to the mother but also requires much in the way of dedication and growth. I’d like to thank my own mother, and all the mother’s before her, for taking this great journey and making all of us possible.

My Mother

Donne Tempo — 2008-05-10T19:33:49-04:00

Whether it is the way I create a first draft of a note, or the way I respond to my partner, or to my children, it is my learned belief in the power of the positive that allows me the life I live. It is the lessons I have taken from my mother that mark and make my days. ... Yet, she instilled in each of her six children an abiding sense of faith in themselves, in trying there is success, in encouragement, there is the making of the future. ...She changed the world for her adjunct children, those who she found at different points in their lives and made her friends, gave responsibility to, loved and trusted. Each of these relationships has healed the “children,” and each has enlarged the world my mother inhabits. I have her habits, made now my own, in folding, and cooking, and caring, and reaching out. The time I spend with my mother is never focused on me, it instead allows me the opportunity to give more to the world. Those who do not live in my mother’s orbit may find it hard to believe how, in her day-to-day life, she engenders giving. A day spent with her may involve being assigned to assist an elderly acquaintance, being given the gift of a day, or a week, with the children of her employees or friends or a woman she met at the grocery store, rescuing a family member, or not, from some unforeseen situation, or running errands and doing accounts. There is no control over time, nor even an understanding of time as your own. It is a life lived in the moment, a life that constantly seeks to aid others, to survive in the moment, doing the most you possibly can. It is not what you have envisioned, or planned on, it is a full participation in living There are times, many, when I have wanted to escape that sort of unknowing, the kind that leads to missed appointments and forgotten goals, but it serves people, and that is a gift, not a burden. Growing up there were a minimum of ten people in our household, my parents, the six children, my grandfather, the assorted household help, the assorted guests (short or long term, adults or children). There was always a formal dinner in the dining room and a seated breakfast in the kitchen. My father made a custom table top for our kitchen table, they did not manufacture round tables in that size, so we could seat the numbers required. ...I spent my thoughts on how to have a cleaner house, how to have a quieter dinner table, how to arrange one’s life so they could pick up their children on time. Yet, as an adult, aside from some political beliefs that put us at odds, I believe in my mother and her ways wholeheartedly. There is no better way to parent than to love, and her form of love was to believe in us. We have made what successes we can all our own because our mother set us free to find them. ... She used her words to encourage us, she used her talents to inspire us, she used her beliefs to empower us. With her adamant opinions on rearing small children she instilled in us an independence and faith in our abilities. She does not save these gifts for her biological children; instead she brings them to every table. ... She is a maker of friends, and a finder of people, and a saver of those in need. I seek, in my own organization of life to know what lies around the corner and prepare for it, however, I am also blessed to know my mother’s philosophy of “fluidity” (which means since we don’t know what to expect that we simply expect things to change) and cheerfully, I hope, receive each day, its challenges and opportunities, with joy.

Girls on the Edge

Donne Tempo — 2008-05-09T21:22:11-04:00

There’s nothing like those first seventy plus degree days after a windy, chilly winter! It’s time to rip off the bulky sweaters, put away the fleece lined shoes, pack up the quilts – and go shopping! Eagerly we speed-walk through the crowded store until we spy our destination – summer clothes! We’re surrounded by frilly skirts, barely-there tops, string bikinis, and micro mini-dresses that would make any pop singer proud. Unfortunately, we’re in the girls’ department, attempting to outfit my eight and ten year old daughters. ... I don’t care if you like it – you are NOT wearing it. ...You are NOT getting ANOTHER piece of clothing with Miley Cyrus’s face! That’s the spectrum of choices: sexy sleaze or Disney hype. ... My oldest dances, sings and writes her own songs, so Miley is definitely her hero (although she hated the Vanity Fair picture). The question remains – what kind of heroine will she turn out to be? Miley Cyrus’s music is upbeat and positive – and focuses on girls achieving their dreams! Her Disney persona is also funky and fun, and the wardrobe seems to walk the fine line of being flirty without being sleazy. It’s her personal appearances that are giving me concern. She seems to be embracing the country/southern gal/starlet tradition: proclaiming your love for Jesus and your virginity while wrapped in a low-cut gown and enough face paint to make Dolly Parton proud! ...To be fair, our country stars seem much more capable of maintaining the “good girl in trashy clothes” persona than their Hollywood counterparts. But Miley is emulated by young girls around the world. ...It’s our responsibility as parents to set limits, to explain WHY an outfit that would be at home on the Hollywood strip is NOT appropriate for a 10 year old. But really….are simple, flattering (not revealing) clothes for young girls a ridiculous request? ...I actually attempted to add a few articles of clothing to my spring look. ... I found some wonderful tops – feminine, draping, NOT midriff – and eagerly raced into a fitting room. ...And so the day ends as it began…in a dressing room with battling generations. ...Perhaps that’s the real lesson for our daughters: There will always be fitting rooms and endless choices. ... But we must be able to love and respect that person in the mirror – our clothing choices should help us feel our best, our most confidant, our most powerful. ...Here’s to the beauty of spring and the beauty of strong women.

Miley, Miley, Miley or Bad Advice and Vanity Fair Have Done You Wrong

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-30T23:16:47-04:00

As a fan of Miley Cyrus I have been rooting for the young Tennessean. My prayers to the Goddesses have issued forth offering hope that her father, Billy Ray Cyrus -- with lots of Hollywood, Nashville and music experience under his big belt buckle -- would guide her. ...No one wants to see another child star turned train wreck and with her great smile and husky voice, there was great hope for this particular child. ...Maybe it would give her the bit of extra strength she needed to not succumb to the whole “I make a million dollars a week” fame debacle. ...Attending the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus “Best of Both Worlds” 3-D movie, I was awed by the marketing brilliance and the deft division of the young star from her “Disney” persona allowing her to emerge and be recognized not as Hannah, but as Miley. ...A chance for Miley to shine her star as a young performer, instead of a young Dinsey performer. ...A look she has been capitalizing on since her early days shooting personas such as Mick Jagger and Iggy Pop. ...However they were adults and their inner soul exposed was one plagued by the drug and sexual addictions that came with the “rock n’ roll” lifestyle. ...Leibovitch’s subject for this session however is a child and the inner soul exposed is her emerging sexuality as a young woman. ...Leibovitch or stylist Michael Roberts to out her sexuality at fifteen. I don’t care how much money she makes, or how savvy she seems to be she is still fifteen. ...Cyrus, a very young girl, as though just awoke, hair tousled, lips swollen, classic come-hither look and obviously very naked beneath the satin sheet. ...Cyrus has stated “No, I mean I had a big blanket on. ...For a fifteen-year old girl, yes she probably does like her “grown-up” look in the photo. ... And as no one else seems to have your naked back Miley, let me make it clear. ...The exposure that makes the young singer so very white, fresh, clean against the darkness of her hair and intensity of her eyes. I know sense and sensibilities being what they are in Hollywood, people there look at things differently. ...Just let me say that you should be beyond exploitation of children and women by now. Billy Ray Cyrus please tell us you didn’t approve this photo of your little girl. For whatever it may be worth, when I asked my son, who is eight, what he thought of the photo he said: “I don’t like it.” I asked, isn’t she pretty, and he said: “No.” I said isn’t she sexy (yes, 8 year old children understand sexy pictures, even if they don’t completely understand sex) and he said: “No, she is creepy looking.” Before leaving he stated “twenty-eight year old girl should look like that, not a fifteen year old girl.” ...What I don’t understand is why all those people looking out for “Miley” could not plainly see what an 8 year old could?

An Earth Day Birthday!

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-26T15:14:10-04:00

Earth Day began 38 years ago, as a series of grassroot “teach-ins” about conservation and pollution. It’s a time to re-dedicate ourselves to honoring, protecting and preserving the earth that nourishes us. It’s also my birthday (I’m a wee bit older than Earth Day) and I always enjoy sharing my special day with Mother Earth! I’ve evolved into something of an Earth mother, myself – and become more so every year. And yet, despite all the changes in my life, there are constants that remain as strong and reliable as Gibraltar itself. ... We all change and grow – yet our love and commitment to each other, and to each other’s dreams, remains unscathed. The other constant of my life – and probably yours – are girlfriends. Through the years and the decades my girlfriends have been there offering chocolate, wine, advice and unwavering support. Actually, there’s a male friend that has stood the test of time as well. I received a birthday email from him this morning – almost three decades removed from his first birthday card to me. We don’t actually have much in common anymore, but we’re both too stubborn to abandon a friendship. ...But it’s the girlfriends that have shared my long and twisted journey from insecure preacher’s kid to outspoken earth mother and advocate. From the long maiden years, searching through the mountains of frogs in search of my prince to the even longer motherhood years trying to navigate the endless sanity-challenged days, girlfriends lend encouragement, sympathy, direction and unconditional love and support to our neediest moments. Who else would you call at 2 am when a boyfriend betrays you? Who else would drive three hours to your (it’s about freakin’ time!) ...My girlfriends are the jewels of my life, each one treasured for her unique talents and viewpoints. There are several I don’t speak to often anymore – but the love remains – and the friendship is as dear and sacred as in days of yore. My girlfriends welcomed me to the married world, and again to the motherhood domain. And now I’m being welcomed to the crone years. (yup – a girlfriend emailed me today, telling me the crone years were pretty good, though the wisdom was gained through tears. She also sent a you-tube clip reminding me of a past mistake in the “Are you my prince” game. She’s one of those who’ll be getting a plaque that says “We’ll always be friends. ...I don’t think I’m quite ready for the crone role yet. ... Instead, I prefer to say I’m in the Dancing Womyn stage of my life. My powers are unfurled, and it’s my time to change the world.

Tattoos In Sports

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-26T14:56:02-04:00

(Read, “Until I Find You,” by John Irving, not only because I adore everything by John Irving, but also because it’s an interesting look at tattoo artists and people who get tattoos and the ultimate tattoo-ees, those with full-body tattoos). Whenever I see someone with a tattoo, I wonder what motivated him/her to get the Tasmanian Devil or a girlfriends initials or a Picasso painting eternally etched on their skin. I wonder whether they still like it, whether they think about having it removed, whether they want another one, whether they wonder how it impacts other people’s views of them. ...I have had it for 13 years, so it’s not lust for a new thing, it’s the real, long term adoration. ...It’s very interesting to me that some sports – basketball, for example – have a lot of ink, whereas other sports – baseball, for example – are much more ink-free. Obviously, there are exceptions, but as a rule, it seems to me some sports are much more ink heavy, both in terms of the number of players with tattoos and the number of tattoos per player, than others. ...If you are not a basketball fan, you might not be aware of how much ink there is on the court at any time, but I urge you to turn on a game for the sheer interest of the tattoo study. When I started doing research for this blog, I found out there is actually a book called, "In the Paint: Tattoos of the NBA and the Stories Behind Them." ... The ESPN story on the book notes, “Body art dominates the NBA, and for many players, their number of tattoos is higher than their nightly scoring average.” ...And we’re not talking about subtle tattoos or tattoos in places you can’t see. ... I think Rasheed Wallace has one of the most impressive tattoos in basketball It seems that most basketball players have tattoos, and they aren’t at all hesitant to add more. ...Football players also are big on tattoos, although they don’t seem to be as covered with them as basketball players. ...It seems to me, defensive players seem to be heavier on the ink than offensive players, but I haven’t done extensive research on that yet. I do know quarterbacks don’t seem to have tattoos, at least none you can see. ...I get the feeling that baseball managers, owners, and fans, are just less ok with tattoos than fans for basketball and football, because even baseball players who have tattoos don’t flaunt them as happily as basketball players or football players. In fact, in 2004, Major League Baseball required relief pitcher Justin Miller to wear long sleeves when he pitches because, they said, his tattoos are a distraction to the opposing batters. ...American soccer players seem to have very little ink, with the exception of a little tribal art they probably got in college. I’m a soccer fan, so you would think I could name off a bunch of soccer tattoos, but off hand the only one I can think of is Natasha Kai. ... After some research, I came up with the fact that Landon Donovan has a hummingbird tattooed on the inside of his wrist. ...When I was telling my son about this blog, specifically about football players and wondering why it seems like defensive players have more ink than offensive players, he said, “Offensive players aren’t supposed to look as tough.” ...Actually, as I re-read this and think about it, I think it’s probably much more basic. ... I think maybe tattoos still are more acceptable in less wealthy socio-economic circles, and I think maybe kids who start out in poor neighborhoods and fight and become professional athletes are more likely to get tattoos than are professional athletes who come from wealthier backgrounds. ...Because they don’t have to go to job interviews where they will be turned down because of a tattoo. Maybe athletes in basketball and football are more likely to get tattoos because the culture of the sport allows, maybe even encourages, it, whereas other sports frown on it or even forbid it.

Craigs Life

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-21T21:59:16-04:00

What do a newly divorced artist with a rare genetic disease, an elderly woman who plans to live in a berm house in Florida after her home of 40 years is plowed down and a woman with big game trophies in her basement have in common? They are all the people behind the products you can find online on Craigslist. ...Craigslist.org), it is an online classified site where one can find everything from a kitchen sink or fish aquarium to a new job or even a soul mate. For me it has become an obsession (for the record, I’m not looking for a soul mate). Instead, I’m in the process of buying a new house that’s going to need a lot of work. With a limited budget for fixing up things I turned to Craigslist to see what was available. I was surprised to find people selling or giving away great stuff. I have found light fixtures and ceramic tiles as well as garden tools and paint. Most importantly I have found a wealth of incredibly interesting people. With my propensity for talking to almost anyone, Craigslist has given me a whole new audience. Some of you may be familiar with Ira Glass, the creator of the syndicated radio (and now TV) show This American Life. His show offers up some of the most fascinating and sometimes bizarre stories about people and their lives. When asked in an interview why people told him personal stories, Ira responded, “A little curiosity goes a long way.” I have found this to be true with my Craigslist encounters as well. I have been surprised how open, with just a little interest, perfect strangers can be about their lives. ... I have been privy to some of the most poignant stories. Stories that include a life threatening illness that has caused a woman in her 40’s to endure 41 operations and 3 heart attacks, a woman whose son committed suicide, and another woman who has finally found the courage to leave her abusive spouse of 20 years. And yet another feminine soul who is lovingly digging up her beloved plants to find them new homes before her house is plowed down. I merely arrived at their doorstep to buy their tools, plants, sinks, etc. Little did I realize how much I would come away with. ...I have stayed in touch with a few of these people, emailing periodically to see how things are going. I hope as my quest for attic fans and garden tools leads to me to new encounters I will have the opportunity to introduce you to some of the new people I meet along the way. My experiences have reminded me the world is full of pain and sadness, joy and laughter. Because I have taken a little time to listen and share an empathetic moment with someone else I have been reminded, too, what a truly blessed life I have.

Petty Fears

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-15T23:11:01-04:00

All my life I have had three defined fears – small spaces, tunnels and bridges. There is an odd feeling that comes over me when I begin to drive over a long expense, into a tunnel, onto an elevator or I need to reach a great height. Standing on the roof of our house, three stories high in the back, is enough to literally cause me to quake in my boots. My fears do not stop me from slowly crawling up the ladder to lie on the roof and gaze at the stars, stand next to the Grand Canyons edge or traverse that bridge to get to the other side. ...I clutch the steering wheel until my knuckles are white or my legs can barely hold me up. ...This last week, returning home from a wonderful two-day jaunt to Chestertown, Maryland we approached the Chesapeake Bay Bridge (http://www.cbbt.com/), a magnificent 4.3-mile expanse that connects Maryland’s Eastern and Western shore. One the way out and over the bridge, I hesitated ever so slightly and said, as I always do “ I hate bridges” as I started moving up the ramp. ...I love how they stand as this solid solution to the problem of “how will we get across” and are amazed at how people drive over them, without even seeing them. A few of my favorite include the Delaware Memorial Bridge; the World’s longest twin suspension bridge wears a lovely green patina. ... Her twin towers, from which her massive decks hang, soar to the sky and are truly beautiful against a bright blue sky. ...This double leaf, double deck, fixed counterweight, trunnion design bascule, or Chicago Style Bascule bridge, dates back to the 1920s as is a part of Daniel Burnham’s 1909 Plan of Chicago. ...What makes this bridge so remarkable is that it can be raised to allow tall shifts to pass beneath and it is a remarkable site to see this 3,750 ton bridge raise and lower. At both ends of the bridge are massive square towers, adorned with friezes entitled “Tablets to Pioneers” that are these permanent reminders that Chicago was a frontier town. The works are the art of Wheeler Williams, a Chicago born sculptor whose monument work can be seen around the United States, from Washington, D.C. Environmental Protection Agency building pediment to the “Fountain of the Water Babies” at Children’s Hospital in Seattle, Washington ...At 2.12 miles long, one of its more remarkable features are the 34” high barrier railings that are engineered to keep cars on the bridge, while allowing for an unobstructed view the edge of its 200 feet height. ...The San Diego Bay Bridge has earned the Most Beautiful Bridge Award of Merit from the American Institute of Steel. However, I just need to close my eyes and think for a moment and I distinctly remember the feeling that I was never, ever going to reach the other side of that bridge. ...And, if memory serves me right, this is the only bridge ever encountered I would not drive back across. ...After two wonderful days with a friend, Carol and her son, Adam, we were all tired and anxious to get home. Its not a long drive and we were all arguing over who had seen the most Mini Coopers (I was up to 11 or so, which angered the young boys – but then I had the best view) when I looked out and realized we were about half way across the bridge. ...My friend asked if I was ok, and I said yes, I am just too tired for petty fears. ...I think the best gift might be the understanding that the emotional stress is not worth much of anything. ...Which is maybe why women, as they become older, are often called fearless, self-reliant or described as having “found themselves.”

The Snake Whisperer

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-13T16:41:03-04:00

You know you’ve adapted to life in the country when you step off of your back porch and onto a small snake – and your heart continues to beat! In fact, after the initial gasp of surprise, you turn it into a learning experience and call the kids out to see – then carry the snake out to the field, in the hopes that the rye grass will protect the poor baby from predators! ...It all began when I was ten – and a boy in our church brought me a small milk snake as a pet. ... Of course, my father was a minister and was in an Adboard meeting with a roomful of nicely dressed church folks. ...We lovingly referred to her suburban home as “Hell House” – and never was an abode more aptly named. For two years we shared such travesties as exterior doors that refused to open – simultaneously (try explaining THAT to your boss), electrical fires, deranged squirrels, cats in the walls, a raining lamp, flooded basement – and bombardier snake. ...My friend and I were returning home after a strenuous day of bargain hunting; she went to the clothesline and I went to the back door. ... I ducked and screamed as a snake fell from overtop the door, caught itself on the metal railing - then raised its head and flicked its tongue at me! To this day, my girlfriend swears I saved her life, “Because if the snake had fallen on ME – I’d have dropped dead from a heart attack!” She lived in the house another 10 years or so – and NEVER did either of us enter the house without first stepping back and looking up (and try explaining THAT to strangers!). When we first moved to our home in the country we piled boxes of belongings in the front room until we had done necessary repairs. One day my four-year old daughter came through the front hall and started screaming – the bad kind of scream that makes your heart clench and your hand start dialing 911. I ran to her – and almost collided with a large black snake winding its way through my hallway. The snake – not liking the loud noise - was trying to hide by going under the door to the front room which we had filled with our boxes. ...I knew that if the snake got into the front room we would A) never find it and B) my husband would torch the house. Without thinking (and while screaming) I grabbed the snake by the tail and yanked it back from the door, dropping it when it turned to strike me. Several times this comedy of terror continued – with the snake getting more and more angry – until I was able to open the front door and swing the snake outside, where it disappeared under the house. I later found that a trap door in the closet floor was open, making easy access from below. Of course, once I realized how many mice find their way into a 1900’s country house I was wishing I had let the snake live indoors! ...Last year I was somewhat dressed up for a 50th Anniversary party – hose, black high heels, black sheath dress, etc. As we started to pile in the car I noticed a large black snake by the front tire – possibly the same snake I had thrown from the house years before. ... The snake left the car and slithered right towards me, up on to the porch, then circling around my foot and going through my high heeled shoe! It paused – just for a moment – then disappeared through the porch boards under the house. ...It was a wonderful moment – but not an incident I would have welcomed in my younger years.

Gone to the Birds

Donne Tempo — 2008-04-07T21:00:06-04:00

There’s nothing like taking that first cup of coffee outside into the dewy morn and reveling in the spirited songs of the birds, the low hoot of an owl, and the brightness of daffodils and tulips to make you long for….chickens! ...I grew up in mainstream suburbia with the requisite dogs, cats, hamsters and occasional turtle or snake (THAT one didn’t stay for long!). But my dreams were filled with visions of horses and goats and alpacas and chickens. About five years ago we moved from a bustling suburb of DC to a country town on MD’s Eastern Shore – with an entire 1/3 of an acre to call our own. ... Wisely, with three children aged five and younger and two dogs, I suspected I had all the livestock I could handle! ...and although we’ve seen snakes in and around our home – we haven’t named them! My middle child is as animal crazy as my younger self and dreams of horses and goats and chickens – and more horses! I’ve been considering adding a small flock of laying hens to our backyard for several years now – but was told I was nuts. This year the husband and kids have agreed it’s a great idea AND I’ve found three other intellectually challenged womyn who have agreed to split an order of chickens with me! The minimum order from most hatcheries is 15-25 – and that sounds like a LOT of chicken poop! ...However – the eggs are tinier, needing 3-4 eggs to replace 2 standard eggs AND they are only sold straight run (male & female mixed together). ... I want eggs, I’m not willing to cull the males to my freezer, and I’m pretty sure my neighbors wouldn’t be very excited about several crowing roosters. ...You want the Araucana, a spirited, comical bird named from the Indian tribe of Chile where they were first discovered. The Speckled Sussex lays warm brown eggs and is known for being gentle with children (my daughter has named her still imaginary Sussex, Brownie). ...Because they lay the most eggs, they are found in most of the commercial chicken houses. ...I’m attempting to find the right combination of egg-laying ability and personality to stock my backyard flock. Many breeds are skittish or aggressive – and I want these critters to follow my kids around when given the opportunity! ...Today’s backyard farmers are all about the chicken tractor – a movable chicken coop and run. By relocating the run every few days (depending on the number of birds) your birds keep your lawn picked free of bugs and weeds, and add their nitrogen rich “compost” to your lawn! ... Larger farms may use an actual tractor to haul them around, but the backyard farmer usually can roll his smaller contraption without too much hassle. Most designs include an attached run which may be completely enclosed, totally protecting your birds from predators. A friend uses a movable electric fence around her small coop, which effectively keeps all land predators at bay, although her birds are still at risk to airborne attacks. (she doesn’t want to end up with a flock of geriatric non-laying pets, so the process of natural elimination works for her!) ...Apparently Native Americans would coat their bodies with bear grease – which would insulate them against harsh weather AND protect them from mosquitoes! I’m a little low on bear grease – but I have some Crisco in the back of a cabinet – and I’m NOT afraid to try it!

Four Great Books

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-24T21:32:08-04:00

I wanted to stay with Elizabeth Gilbert, who I felt had become my close friend, and keep her close to me. ...The second part of her quest is the "Eat" part of the book, where she goes to Italy and allows herself to explore all sensations. ...The book is an easy, beautiful read, that makes you feel like you travel without leaving your couch, and will help you appreciate yourself a little more. ...From the New York Times Book Review by Jennifer Egan, "If a more likable writer than Gilbert is currently in print, I haven't found him or her... Gilbert's prose is fueled by a mix of intelligence, wit and colloquial exuberance that is close to irresistible, and makes the reader only too glad to join the posse of friends and devotees who have the pleasure of listening in." ...I have read a lot since I first read this, and I still think it is the perfect book. Irving ties up all loose ends, leaving you completely satisfied after reading the book, as though you've had a really good meal. ...From the New York Times review by Alfred Kazin on March 12, 1989, ''Jesus has always struck me as a perfect victim and a perfect hero,'' said John Irving, explaining the genesis of his seventh novel, ''A Prayer for Owen Meany.'' ...From the Salon.com review by Cintra Wilson on 30 September 1996: Owen Meany is simply a great and luminous character, a man whom you wish you knew and hung out with, and the novel is driven by the merits of his palpable soul. This is a book about the interconnectedness of things and the importance of seemingly meaningless details and the yielding nature of true friendship, and how everything plays a part in recognizing a larger force and ultimate plan. ... I think this is what all people want from faith -- a feeling that the seemingly senseless indignities of life ultimately serve the higher purpose of educating the soul. Like life, nothing in this book makes any particular sense until later in the book when it all falls gracefully together into a whole that means more than the sum of its parts. ...He wants to SAY something, he wants to infuse his readers with a sense of divine possibility, and he wants to make a bunch of subjective political insights and make us laugh and cry all at the same time, and I appreciate it, even if I don't necessarily regard it as a Great Work of Art. A lot of the book falls prey to Irvingisms: he digs his own pits -- incest, New Hampshire, freak accidents and amputations, untimely death, ironic sexual shame -- and falls into them in nearly every book. ...To cope, he returns to the place where he spent summers during his childhood, and tells the story of one significant summer and his interaction with another family vacationing at the same time. ...Grace, kneeling, a cigarette clamped in a corner of her mouth and one eye shut against the smoke, laid out the picnic things, while her husband, his hat falling further askew, struggled to draw a resistant wine cork. ... She is there, in her scarlet shirt and dancing pumps and dancer's tight black pants with the straps that go under the soles of her feet, and her hair black as a crow's wing tied in a plume behind her fine-boned head. ... A bicycle, yes, I see a bicycle asprawl in abandon among the ferns, handlebars turned sideways and its fr ont wheel jutting up at a somehow unseemly angle, a sly prefiguring, as it seems now, of what was to come. ...Too Close to the Falls is a memoir, about a young girl growing up in a small town near Niagara Falls in the 1950s. ...Review from Publishers Weekly: Now a successful clinical psychologist with a monthly advice column in the popular Canadian magazine Chatelaine, Gildiner tells of her childhood in 1950s Lewiston, N.Y., a small town near Niagara Falls, in this hilarious and moving coming-of-age memoir. Deemed hyperactive by the town's pediatrician, at age four Gildiner was put to work at her father's pharmacy in an effort to harness her energy. Her stories of delivering prescriptions with her father's black deliveryman, Roy, are the most affecting parts of this book, with young Cathy serving as map reader for the illiterate but streetwise fellow, who acted as both protector and fellow adventurer. In a style reminiscent of the late Jean Shepherd, Gildiner tells her tales with a sharp humor that rarely misses a beat and underscores the dark side of what at first seems a Norman Rockwell existence. ... By book's end, Cathy, too, gets her share, as beloved Roy mysteriously exits and an entanglement with a confused young priest brings her literally and figuratively "too close to the falls."

The Garden of Plenty

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-24T21:29:55-04:00

According to the calendar – it’s Spring! Unfortunately, I’m still hiding under three layers of clothes, sipping hot tea and fervently hoping the woodpile holds out. ...To be honest – I’m not known for my green thumb. In fact, my darling husband chuckles each year as I purchase seeds, plants, soil and such. He calls it “Our annual sacrifice to the gardening gods”. He does this because, by mid-July, all will be dead. ...I’m really more of a “black thumb” kind of gal. Still – I’ve had at least two girlfriends who were known to have killed artificial plants. ... [I don’t actually OWN any artificial plants – but I’m sure I WOULDN’T kill them, anyway!] My point being – there’s hope for me! And this year – is MY year to garden! ...This year I dig an actual vegetable garden, start plants from seeds, and grow a wonderful vegetable & flower & herb garden – and can/freeze/dry the bountiful results! ...I’m positive – THIS is my year. I have a new affinity with the earth – I’m not trying to force my will on the soil, merely work in its best interest. I’m starting seeds in eggshells, we’re building a compost bin [I purchased a worm composting system and worms several years ago – they’re dead, too], and are planning to buy a few chickens, as well! ... [At least – if I kill the chickens – it’s dinner!] ...This year, I have a plan! ...It’s the follow-up, or more accurately, my failure to follow-up, that de-rails me. The old me, that is. It’s funny – part of me is laughing at the idealistic fool who lurks inside me, and yet I absolutely believe we do NOT have to repeat old patterns. If I really want this year to be my year of abundance – my garden – and my life – will indeed overflow. I simply need to do the small things, everyday. I need to not get bored, give up, or feel overwhelmed by my choices. Instead, I will be grateful for the gifts in my garden and in my life.

Where The Road Ends

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-22T18:01:10-04:00

Our destination was Mendoza, which was about a 6-hour drive from Cordoba, which was where we were departing from. ...“Yeah he gave me this and told me how to get out of the city,” Jon said while handing me a tourist map of the city of Cordoba. ...“”He told me to follow signs towards Valle De La Paz,” Jon said while pointing to a road sign. I thumbed through my Lonely Planet guide to look at the crude road maps they have printed at the beginning of sectional chapters. ...“No, this is fine, it’s just a dirt road, not all roads need to be paved,” Jon said while giving me a strange smile. ...I looked at the gas gauge, we had a bit over a quarter of a tank, and I took a deep breath and sat back. “Maybe it’s this little squiggle on the map, but they wouldn’t put a dirt road on a map like this,” I said while pointing out a small squiggle in the Lonely Planet map. ...We were an hour into the dirt road drama and turning back was getting further and further out of our grips. ...We pulled over and all got out to pee on the side of the road in the freezing cold wind. ...We had a loaf of bread and some cheese in the car, but neither Jon nor I said anything about eating, we both silently knew we may have to have that loaf of bread for lunch, dinner and maybe breakfast tomorrow, if we didn’t get out of the mountains and to a gas station soon. The gas needle was about to hit the red mark, when we came to a fork in the dirt road. ...We sat for a few minutes, got out of the car and then noticed a word and an arrow spray painted on an abandoned cement hut, [Taningua →]. Jon scrambled through the pages of our Lonely Planet guide, to the small map of the Sierra Mountains. ...“Well, were not really lost we know where we are, but we don’t know how far we need to go,” I tried to reassure him. ...“Oo oh, I see it, here Tala Canada,” I showed Jon on my crude map of the desolate mountain pass. "It looks like we have about the same distance to go as when we passed the fork in the road.” ...No cars passed us and the perfection that would come with finding a gas station at the exact right time was something right out of a cheesy movie. ...“What if Taningua is just a small village like Tala Canada and there’s no gas there either?” ...We had absolutely no intentions of driving through the mountains on a dirt road or even driving through on a paved road. We were supposed to be on the RN 20 to the RN 7, which bypassed the mountains all together, and would have gotten us to Mendoza in 7 to 8 hours. ...“Well there she is Taningua,” I said motioning to Jon with my eyes, that this was our last hope. ...We loaded back into the car and with a great weight lifted from the pits of our stomachs we remembered that we were hungry. I grabbed the loaf of bread and cheese and made some sandwiches, it wasn’t much but it hit the spot. ... I looked up the names of the places in my guidebook and found nothing but a small paragraph giving mention to the fact that they existed.

I am old

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-15T19:38:34-04:00

Well, I did get my AARP card the other day, but that is another stream of consciousness to share with you at another time. ...My mother told me just today that it is OK to be in a box. ...I think, because she is intelligent, creative that maybe if she let herself out of the boxes created by society and family; the boxes designed by those that say “this is what YOU should do,” she would have had a very different life. ...But I am not a fan of right angles, square rooms, or furniture without shape. ...One that gets to the point, but in a way that is clever, or that is just damn good looking. ...Hardly a day goes by that I don’t have what I think is a great idea for an ad campaign. ...Then there is the Internet and the art of branding – of advertising – which has completely changed. ...They are boxy, boring and the brand flavor is lost to just the word. ... It’s those folks and their damn boxes that are saying it has changed. ...And here, in Internet world, the rule I keep reading is to keep it brief. ...I actually read that if a word has the suffix “ly” on it, it should probably be deleted. ...The cost, the environmental impact, which is absolutely none as we do everything electronically and the challenge. ...As Donne grows, and as she gets more and more beautiful everyday (thank you Joe!) I am impressed on how pretty the Internet can be used as a medium. That there can be well designed graphics, pages that are more than a bunch of boxes and rectangles. ...But it takes a lot of time to get her that way. Poor Joe is stuck in his box – though he has a great window that looks out over the trees and sky. I like to think his creative mind is free of the boxes. ...You can’t do that with a box. Now reading about how all these “young” folks are using the Internet to brand themselves. ...I think Donne Tempo is beautiful and I like that she doesn’t have massive amounts of square little boxes that scream, “click me.” We want you to stick around, read about where we have been, are going, or want to go. And the point of this is that I will stick to what I know. ... I will create a publication that is graphically beautiful, meaningful and that readers can look forward to reading, and coming back and rereading, time and time again.

Girls, Girls, Girls

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-15T19:23:59-04:00

To mark International Women's Day (a holiday I didn't even know about until my friend Jacquie told me about it) I decided to write about girls. Something that has been on my mind for a very long time is the question of why it is that despite tremendous strides in women's rights and opportunities, women often continue to have lower self esteem than men, continue to tend to pursue lower-paying jobs involving less risk, feel anxiety about appearance, back off from conflict and extreme competition, and worry ourselves to death over not doing things as well as we should. ...I'm not a scientist, and although I find information on brain chemistry, DNA, and other physical differences fascinating, I so far have not performed any of my own studies and – quite frankly – am not all that well informed about the results of studies other people have performed. I am a pretty keen observer, though, and I do see many, many ways our society reinforces female stereotypes, many of which seem to undercut self-esteem in our girls and women. ...For those of you unfamiliar with travel soccer, this is the competitive program for the kids who are more advanced than recreational players. By U-14, most of the girls who play on the travel teams are very good athletes and have relatively extensive soccer experience. ... At the end of every practice, I asked each girl to tell me one thing they did well at practice that night. ... One girl even asked if she could run laps instead of trying to think of something she did well and then say it in front of the other players. ...At the end of practice, I told the boys that before I would release them, they each had to come up with one thing they did well that night at practice. ... They talked over each other listing their wonderful skills and accomplishments, trying to top each other with their soccer prowess, and insisting on having more than one turn to talk. ...Every year, I ask the kids in my son's class what they are going to be for Halloween. ...That's about my favorite costume ever…but as a whole, we girls go for the pretty fluff rather than the interesting or exciting or creative. ...For those of you unfamiliar with Tranformers, they are often very difficult puzzles that transform (hence the name) from a car or helicopter into a robot. ... More than one of our Tranformers "mysteriously" ended up in the trash while my son was at school because my efforts at transforming it had maimed the poor thing into a mutant. ...My son eventually gave up on playing it with me because I could never remember the special ability or who trumped what card, and I admit I even sometimes sank to making things up because it was all too confusing to follow. ...They also somehow learn they are important because parents schlep them to practices and games and back again (I'll save my lecture on over-jealous sports parents for another time). ...My son plays several sports, with other boys, and there are many boys on the teams who have sisters who "don't play sports." Parents tell me the girls "don't like it" or "don't want to" and parents seem far more willing to accept that answer from girls than from boys. ...I know from my own experience that there is a huge drop in the number of girl's sports teams when they reach 11 years old. ... Sports not only helps girls feel they have a "place" and gives them something positive to do in their spare time, it also exposes them to exercise and helps them develop a positive, healthy body image. ...Are women suffering from poor self esteem because we didn't get to play Yu Gi Oh and got dolls for our birthdays? ... I do know there is a strong trend in this country, still, for women to suffer from poor self image, to stay in bad relationships because they somehow believe they deserve them, to toil at unchallenging jobs just for a paycheck because we somehow believe it's the best we can do, and to suffer from incredible guilt that we somehow are not good enough. ...I really don't know the answers, but when I look at young girls and how they behave, I believe we are somehow doing something wrong. Somehow, we aren't getting the message to our girls that they really can be anything they want to be, and that whoever they are, they are wonderful.

A Hard Day’s Night, Part Two: The Home Front

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-15T00:31:03-04:00

Donna Reed, Carol Brady, June Cleaver and my mother had something in common – immaculate homes. ...To get good grades, which would allow me to go to college, get a good job, and hire others to do the nasty work of cooking and cleaning. ...And then I realized that I preferred being home, raising and educating my children. ...I knew that it required yelling and blaming – but no clue how to actually do the work. ... But my husband’s ability to turn a blind eye to the mess outweighed even my own. The mess really didn’t bother him – but it did bother me. ...I’d clean for hours or days, yelling about the mess, the work, and the ingratitude of those around me, then collapse into a heap, mumbling incoherently. By the time I regained consciousness, the house was a mess again. ... I had been destined for greater things – and yet here I was – scrubbing a disgusting toilet. ...It finally occurred to me (I’m not always that bright) that keeping the house maintained was my JOB, a job I elected to take on when I decided my children needed me more than the business world. I also knew the first thing I needed to work on was my attitude. I was angry and stressed when I cleaned – much like my mother on her jeremiad. Unlike my mother – I wasn’t actually accomplishing any cleaning during these tirades. ...I tried journaling my outrage – but this actually fed the monster by giving it words and a place to flourish. I can’t grow flowers or vegetables on a bet – but hate and fury – I can grow that!!! ...I wasn’t ready to actually clean – her routines left me breathless – but I absorbed her gentle and guilt free philosophy. ... There was also something about “taking a lick at a snake with a stick STILL blesses your family!” ...I found Shelter for the Spirit: Create Your Own Haven in a Hectic World by Victoria Moran. My copy is now dog-eared and stained – I re-read her words at least annually. ... Rather than wrinkling my nose at strong cleansers, I deeply breathe in their gentle fragrance and feel – peaceful. ...Flylady now has almost 500,000 members in her yahoo group – womyn striving to organize and maintain their home and finances. It’s as if, en masse, when the world shifted and womyn no longer HAD to be at home with the children, we lost generations of homemaking skills – almost instantly! ...No, we DON’T have to spend six hours a day dusting and scrubbing, but we need to spend a few minutes a day doing it. And, more importantly, we need to teach our children – girls AND boys – that home maintenance is as simple and automatic as brushing your teeth before bed.

It’s Been a Hard Day’s Night – Part One – Food

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-01T20:56:02-05:00

Our womyn is responsible for the food eaten by herself and her family. ... She might go to several stores, trying to find the best deals on the food her family eats. If she’s focusing on the safety and nutritional value of the food she buys, she may go to several specialty stores, a farmers market, an Amish marketplace or the butcher. She may even partake in a community food cooperative, buying in bulk, to buy organic foods more reasonably. She may worry about pesticides, growth hormones, calories and omega3’s – all before her morning cup of coffee! ...Will the food entice her family, fill their nutritional demands, and satisfy her own food demons? Perhaps she’ll start baking her own bread and bagels, making her own granola, and even grinding her own wheat! Don’t laugh – more and more womyn are returning to basics, finding peace in the routines of their great-grandmothers. ...My children are pale, with dark circles under their eyes, and only eat chicken nuggets and goldfish crackers. ...It was a horrendous chore at first – and the food left MUCH to be desired. ... My husband growled for his cheese burgers, my children whined for their packaged cardboard – and all were mad at ME! ...Today my family eats MUCH almost anything – they trust me to make it tasty. We’re working on increasing whole grains & vegetables, as well as using organic products as far as our budget allows. Part of our problem with our limited food budget is our feelings of denial – we want to be indulged. ...It wasn’t nearly as horrendous as I had anticipated – and the bagels were delicious (though they did seem lumpy to me). ... I also made bread a few times – but haven’t found the best recipe, yet. ...For breakfast I’ve been making steel cut oats – and serving them with butterscotch chips, or cracked grains served with plain yogurt and honey. ...Best of all – I feel nurtured, healthy and loved – and so does my family. These real foods satisfy a yearning of my body and soul that the fast foods and restaurant fixes never quite touched. ... I take the leftovers and store them in individual containers for my husband to take for lunch, and for me to munch on during a stress-filled day. ... Of course, I obsess over recipes, and grocery deals, and coupons, and recently about storing flour (the prices are supposed to explode), or even buying a mill and grain and milling my own flour. ...Also, to be quite honest, I have to go clean up the kitchen and wash the dishes from the day, so I can make dinner. ...I still have a LONG way to go – I’m still very ‘hit or miss’ with nutrition. ... Maybe our grandmothers and their grandmothers were on to something – love, health and peace all begin at home – and they start in the kitchen.

Terrific Toyfair… Terrific Toyfair …

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-01T20:50:39-05:00

We came home a full day early brimming with knowledge of the new toys, the new waves, the new ideas coming down the proverbial pike that are guaranteed to keep our youngsters educated, entertained and enthusiastic. ...Toy Fair is when toy vendors, the established giants, such as Mattel, to the little guys with a bright new idea, all head to New York City, in February, with hopes of catching the media, and toy buyer’s, eye. ...Plus I got a chance to spend some time at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my son staring at sculptures from the early Egyptians to the Impressionists before heading to the remarkable collection of Impressionist paintings that they have. ...They have some new twists, hypoallergenic dolls that can withstand the rigorous process that a doll must endure before an allergy prone child can love her. They have lavender scented dolls, dolls that play lullabies and dolls that can help little Sammy or Sally learn to tie a shoelace, button a button or zip a zipper. ...And even though they don’t eat, poop in a toilet, coo, gurgle or twist their heads around when the sense movement, they are a perennial favorite of mine. ...Basically there is a set of folks out there that have found teaching potty skills much easier to toddlers when those toddlers have a doll to teach too. ..., I had a toddler once and though he potty trained fairly easily and without much fuss on anyone’s part, I can see how a doll that can make pee and poop could be helpful. ...She is cute, and doesn’t really expel water or other substances, which according to the aforementioned reviews is a good thing. Butt (pun intended) when you sit her on the potty, she does make a cute little tinkle sound and then a couple of realistic dropping/splashing noises, a comment on the stinky just made and when she stands up, voila, there in the toilet the lovely blue “water” has changed to an abstract yellow with brown splotches. ...We are big comic book, comic art, animation, manga, movie and anything else that comes from the creativity of comics’ fans in our house. But I, along with many other members of the female fan base, have always questioned the sophomoric need to give heroines outlandish, bigger and better than believed attributes. Some of these girls supported such huge breasts and behinds, they might have floated in water, but they were never going to fly stylishly through the air. ...Yes, they still look better than I ever did, actually better than 99% of the population ever did, but at least they looked realistically proportioned and as though they really could walk, sit and possibly fly through the air with stretching the rules of aerodynamics. I asked brand manager Jim Fletcher about it and he said that the sculptures we were looking at were based on the actual art of the comic books. ...Some of my favorites, the Elmo Alive, does a great little dance, tells a cute joke…almost like having a mini-red Martin Short living in the house. ...Still young enough to be entertained by the absurd, Miley Ray Cyrus should spend some significant time laughing as she watches her long-armed look alike do the “Bennis” dance (aka The Elaine “you can’t dance” Bennis of Seinfeld fame dance.) At Hasbro, they have a Spider-Man that literally crawls the walls and a “hokey-pokey” dancing Hulk for little super heroes. Speaking of comics, I am excited over the fate of the spring movie screen with great new comic inspired films – The Hulk, Iron Man and even G.I. ...I am always good for a love story and if I can keep my eight-year old son entertained at the same time, so much the better. ...Robert Downey Jr., an actor I have long admired and have wanted to see more of, takes on the heavy mantel of Iron Man as he brings the life and times of Tony Stark to the big screen. Before you dismiss this as just another super hero, BusinessWeek has Iron Man as one the Smartest Superheroes of all time, alongside a litany of scientific whiz kids and intelligential everyday men, such as Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk, Reed Richards, Mr. ...This is a great story that combines regular guys, challenged by irregular circumstances, to make heroic choices, a story line oft repeated by creator Stan Lee (http://www.stanleeweb.com/). ...There were other things that caught my eye and you should watch Donne Tempo for further coverage on the Green Movement in toys, Mattel’s Barbie now supports a “Wear Pink, Think Green” message as well as interviews with some dynamic women from the Toy industry, including Bandai Brand Manager Colleen Sherefy and Bette Holtzberger from the aforementioned Goldberger Toys who will be joining us in a new feature, Nurturing our Natural Natures, we plan to launch in the near future.

Every Day Is A New Day

Donne Tempo — 2008-03-01T16:10:19-05:00

A few years ago as my daughter went screaming into the adolescent years, with it’s dramas and tears, I adopted the mantra ”everyday is a new day”. It has proved invaluable as a sanity saver and a reality grounding meditation. For those of you with teens I imagine you are familiar with the mood swings, bad decisions and general selfish behavior. That once darling child has somehow morphed into the spawn of Satan. When and how could this have happened? There are days when I think the Greeks may have been onto something when they bound infants’ feet together and left them out on a hillside. Gee, if parents knew what was coming we may have considered that option a little more seriously when these teens were infants. But somewhere between the door slamming, screaming, tears and gnashing of teeth are moments of sweetness- the notes that say “I love you”, the occasional batch of cookies waiting when I get home, snuggling on the sofa watching a movie, even some of the long overdue chores done without asking. Not surprising, these are often followed up with, “mom, can I borrow the car?” My daughter has gone through some tough times in the last few years. My friends call to ask how things are going and my usual answer is “everyday is a new day.” My little mantra is not unlike the one used by most 12 step programs -“one day at a time.” I think this reflects the belief that the longest journey begins with one step and I like that. But I think “everyday is a new day” feels a little more hopeful. Sure if you can just get through one lousy day that is a success but I like to think that tomorrow has the potential to be better maybe not a lot but somehow a little better. So for all of you out there whose lives are less than perfect, who feel emotionally wrung out, stressed beyond belief, for whatever reason, repeat after me-“everyday is a new day, everyday is a new day, everyday is a new day”. It may not have you singing “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow” but it may give you a little ray of hope.

The Test

Donne Tempo — 2008-02-22T22:38:27-05:00

It’s the Universe’s way to determine if we really mean what we say – if we are actually growing into the person we’re supposed to be – or if it’s all lip service. ...I’m too aware that I have no way of protecting myself and my children should that stranger be dangerous. I just want them to go away –and yet – I don’t want to be rude. (how bizarre is that?) ...I was not the one she was searching for, and she didn’t know how to reach her friend. ... I slid it out the narrow crack in the door – and did not offer any more help. ...I became increasingly concerned when she did not return with the phone book, nor did her van leave my driveway. I made sure all the doors were locked, refused to let the dog out into the backyard, and alerted my eldest to call 911 if I gave the order. ...I wasn’t willing to leave my children to go check on the womyn, and I was hesitant to call the police. ... And if she had been driving drunk – and I called the police – did that make me a snitch? ...I finally called my neighbors and explained the situation, and they came right over with a strong flashlight and went to her car. ...The womyn said she had driven here from San Diego (her van had California plates) and she really wanted a cigarette. ...During this, different emergency personnel kept asking me questions, and I kept replying, “I don’t know her –she just showed up! ...Eventually the crowd thinned – she was the one of the last to leave, in a police car. ...I finally returned to my warmer living room and tried to comfort my children, who were scared from all of the activity. ...I didn’t immediately phone the police and ask for assistance – I waited until another (my neighbor) told me it was all right to do so. I became a frightened ten year old (I was 10, and home alone, when a strange man pushed his way into our home when I answered the door. ...Because of that fear, I locked myself into my home and did not offer assistance. ... Even after my neighbors arrived and I finally felt brave enough to leave my locked home, I never talked with the womyn or offered any kind of comfort. ...A womyn in pain had somehow driven across the country and arrived at my front porch – and I was laughing with neighbors. ... I told them all was fine, and ignored their need – just as I ignored the need of the stranger on my porch. ...A less terrified person would have offered blankets and hot coffee – on the porch – I still don’t want to bring a drunk stranger into my children’s home. I should have called the police for assistance, then talked with the womyn. I should have shown my children an example of a strong womyn helping another in need – not a terrified child hiding behind the crowd. ...Is it time to face your fears, so that you may grow into the person you always meant to be?

Who is Paxton?

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T21:56:24-04:00

The daughter of a country preacher and a strong-minded woman, the Un-Runner was raised to fit in, to do what she was told, and to NEVER make waves. She excelled at it - reveling in the adoring pats that proclaimed her a "good girl". After decades of living, ten years of college, a career that never "fit" and marriage with children - she began asking herself what SHE wanted, what she needed, and what she believed. The answers surprised everyone. Within a year she - and her husband - had left mainstream religion, mainstream medicine and mainstream education. Today she has a history of unassisted homebirth, eclectic homeschooling, alternative medicine and instinctive parenting. She lives in the country with no television, no Gameboys - and unfortunately - no high-speed internet. She's adopted a new name, Paxton, that signifies her shift from trying to please others to pleasing herself. She's returned to her first loves - writing and motivational speaking. She also works daily on being more organized and efficient (some learning curves are longer than others). A life-long dreamer, she's determined to stop dreaming about her ideal life - and start living it!

Who is Jacquie

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T21:41:34-04:00

Born in 1958 in Chicagoland, Jacquie is a mid-westerner at heart. Quick to make new friends and ready to get up and go. Easy to distract with something shiny, pretty, or new, but able to buckle down to get it all done. With an unresolved need to communicate and find new things, Jacquie’s evolution toward travel journalism is natural. As one of 6 children, two parents and an assortment of pets, friends and relatives in one house, it may be the need to be heard amongst the noise coupled with the desire to find a bit of space. Today, Jacquie lives north of the White House in Maryland. A very strange land for someone raised in the very common sense, blue color environs of the flat lands.

Who is Lisa?

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T21:39:37-04:00

Lisa Ruth was born in Alabama, grew up in Northern Virginia, and now lives in South Florida with her amazing 8-year-old son, and their two dogs. She is blessed with supportive parents, two loving sisters, in-laws she actually likes, and very generous, magnificent friends. Lisa has a B.A. in International Relations from George Mason University, an M.A. in Foreign Affairs from the University of Virginia, and has completed extensive post-graduate work in Conflict Resolution at George Mason. She spent 11 years as an analyst with the federal government, where, she was fortunate enough to observe elections in Haiti and Nicaragua, investigate human rights abuses in Suriname, and participate in the Guatemalan peace process. She and her sister now have their own research, analysis, and writing company, C2 Research, LLC, which specializes in complex research and analysis. Lisa loves her family and friends, reading, running, sports, flowers, the ocean, the woods, nature, Nip Tuck, the third world, and hot stone massages. She could live without traffic, stress, early mornings, spinach, guilt, meanness, and inequity. More than anything, she is a work in progress.

Who is Heather?

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T21:37:34-04:00

The first born daughter of a former victim of Polio who went on to become a March of Dimes poster child and disability rights activist, and a Father with a PhD in Physics, Heather was introduced early on to an eclectic life. Born in 1974 and a member of the Sesame Street and Smurf generation, she was raised alongside a younger sister and a menagerie of pets including raccoons, ferrets, snakes, lizards and cats. Having several animals of the non-human kind as best friends she began working as a Veterinary Technician and took that love of animals with her to college. With the realization that helping animals also involved watching animals suffer, Heather switched gears completely and attended culinary school. She then spent some time working the restaurant scene in the Washington DC area. After marriage to her husband Jon, she naturally-birthed her first child and decided to become a stay-at-home mom. Always attempting to make her daydreams reality. In 2004 Heather and her family sold their house, cars and material possessions, and took off on an 8-month jaunt around the world. Her travels have taken her from the Sahara desert to the Amazon Jungle from lonesome Easter Island to boisterous Cairo. Today Heather is the proud home-schooling mother of a boy and mom to a girl, now a toddler. She remains a passionate defender and lover of the natural world. She is an independent thinker, hypothesizing philosopher and scientist at heart. Her creativity takes many directions including photography and cooking. Her addictions include the Internet and Starbucks.

Who is Terre?

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T21:35:21-04:00

Terre Jenkins is an artist and educator with 17 years teaching experience. She is currently the director of the Little Picasso School of Visual Arts in Rockville, Md. While she’s a native Washingtonian, she’s no stranger to navigating her way around the world. A fearless and sometimes feisty traveler, she’ll be happy to regale you with tales of being deported from France, joining local Chinese in morning exercises in a Shanghai park and being the featured “American” karaoke singer in Japanese whiskey bars…. Never afraid to ask why or what it all means you can look forward to her lively and not always reverent look at the arts around the corner and around the world.

Castro's Latest Coup

Donne Tempo — 2008-02-20T18:49:38-05:00

Fidel Castro announced on Tuesday he was stepping down as President of the Council of State and commander-in-chief after 49 years as the leader of Cuba. Castro is the longest serving head of state in history, with the exception of monarchs, and while many Americans and Cuban ex-pats detest him, he remains immensely popular with some Cubans and is a legend in the developing world for standing up to the United States. ...But most observers agree – even if grudgingly – that Castro has demonstrated incredible stamina and staying power, even when faced with of some of the most daunting and powerful enemies in the world. The general consensus is that the National Assembly will rubber-stamp Fidel Castro's chosen successor, Raul Castro, as President when it meets on Sunday. Raul Castro, Fidel's 76-year-old younger brother, was named acting president on 31 July 2006 after Fidel underwent emergency surgery, and has been ruling the country ever since. ...Although Raul Castro has shown slivers of democratic leanings, such as allowing – some even say "promoting" – discussion about problems with the state-run economy, he has fallen significantly short of advocating real change. Some critics have noted that in any other system, Raul Castro would be considered a dictator, but when compared to Fidel, he looks "democratic." Moreover, Raul Castro has so far lacked any will to stand up to Fidel Castro or to counter any direct policy set by Fidel. He also appears to lack the power base necessary to implement major change, even if he was inclined to do so. Despite stepping down as President, Fidel Castro will remain powerful, and is likely to retain a kind of veto power. He still holds the position of first secretary of the Communist Party – the only party in Cuba – and his legacy gives him the single strongest voice in Cuba, if he chooses to use it. In his resignation, Fidel Castro hinted at his continued involvement in Cuban politics, and reminded observers of both the staying power of his revolution and the system he has put into place. In his statement, he said, "Fortunately, our Revolution can still count on cadres from the old guard and others who were very young in the early stages of the process," He also said he will continue to write his newspaper columns. ...The US government and US media have spent countless hours speculating on "Cuba After Castro," examining scenarios and preparing for mass chaos, power vacuums, the return of the Miami Cubans, influx of investors, and violence. ...If anything, the question is what about Cuba after the fall of this government…and how long, exactly, can the system last without the leader who put it into place? ...The Cuba after the National Assembly vote on Monday will be very much like the Cuba of today…and yesterday. ...In Havana, many people were somewhat sad about Fidel's retirement, but most agreed it was the right decision because of his poor health. ...It seemed that most Cubans believe the system will work the same as it has for 49 years; the same way it has worked for the last 19 months without Fidel Castro officially in power. ...Fidel's opponents now seem focused on his death, hoping that the true end of Fidel will bring change in Cuba. The fact is that, for now, Fidel Castro's resignation has very little impact on Cuba. The system is likely to remain a one-party state, with curbed freedoms, closely resembling the system that is in place today…a government that Fidel has not officially headed for more than a year. ...They hope that the official designation of Raul Castro as head of government may provide the US with an opportunity to lift the embargo, increasing tourism and allowing exports of cigars and nickel. ...In many ways, Castro spearheaded another coup today, ending his official power without ending the system he put into place. Contrary to most speculation, he did not leave in a flurry of violent unrest, or create a power vacuum, or open the way for major democratic reform.

Valentine Wishes

Donne Tempo — 2008-02-09T16:37:00-05:00

Valentine’s Day and I have a strange history. I was single – and alone – for a long, long. ... The lines of goofy-looking males lined up to purchase a cheesy pink bear and a single rose at the 7-11 always had me rolling my eyes in caustic humor. Deeper was the feeling that these womyn had something I didn’t, that they inspired such – devotion – from their mates. ...We did dinner and hand-written poems for our first Valentine’s Day. ... When we do give gifts, we try to tailor them to the other’s personal growth and current interests. ...I, for example, would swoon over The Healing Drum Kit on Isabella’s website. ... Since I’m attempting to learn the art of drumming - it sounds perfect. ... Just going through their catalog is a spiritual experience – I’m always sending friends their way. GaelSong is another of my favorite places, and I’ve always been thrilled with their offerings. I have a very, very long wish list at this eclectic store – just wait until I sell my book! One of my favorites is their Druid’s Oak handbag – the detail is absolutely amazing! And…since I’m on a roll of my favorite places…I must mention Femail Creations. They have many wonderful products, but I prefer the inspirational art – either jewelry or wall art. Visit the Every Day tile…”Every day we decide who we will be by the actions we take.” ...When it comes to shopping for the man in my life – things get complicated. ... We both love to get gift cards to book stores. A gift card to a local coffee shop would also be appreciated, as would home baked scones and biscotti. My guy drools over the B & H Photo catalog, and would love almost anything within the covers. ... And for the quirky, off-beat liberal you need to see the Northern Sun catalog – very thought provoking stuff! ...Early in our marriage I wrote my love a song… “This is why they write the love songs, this is what makes the world go round. This is what we looked and hoped and prayed for…with you, this precious love I’ve found.” ...Love can be found in many different packages, in many different places. May we open ourselves to love: giving it, receiving it, nurturing it and honoring it.

Passages

Donne Tempo — 2008-02-09T16:33:19-05:00

There’s cold, there’s wind…..and there’s the thousand and one things to do every day so that our lives function. How easy it is to get caught up in the perpetual to-do list, and never stop and reflect on the actual moments that make up our lives. ...It is three years since I watched my father’s life force fade away to join those that had gone before. ... And I, as I had done the other two times, returned to join her in the death watch. ...I had left three young children home with their father, who had been laid off and was having a difficult time finding another position. I had taken a part-time job and was waiting to begin a full-time one, as well. My mind and heart were filled with my dying father, my grieving mother, and my own fears and terrors about the well-being of my family. ...For the third time, Donny Hicks arrived in our home in the dead of night, letting cold air blow in as he wheeled a loved one away. ...Even when the madness of the two jobs had ended, the neediness of home and family filled my moments and my days. I had been away from my children for so long, missed so much. ...And now I realize I’ve never really focused on my father’s life and death – and I need to do so. It’s confusing to talk about my father – he had several distinct personalities – all of them different. ...Everywhere I go folks are getting teary eyed over my father, telling me how much he meant to them, how much he helped them, how much love he gave them. ...Yet, as the years progressed, it was obvious that my father’s devotion did not extend to me, the step-child. ... It was more like getting a brother that vied for parental attention, and would stop at nothing to be “in favor” while ensuring I was “in trouble”. ... The funny thing was, he continually spoke about his childhood, about how his parents didn’t want him and didn’t love him. ...Except for the one time I made the mistake of moving back home – after my grandfather died – we enjoyed a light, casual friendship. ... He was thrilled when I finally married (probably because it meant I would never return home again) and seemed to really enjoy my children. It would be so easy to say the problems in our relationship were caused because I was the step-child, not of his blood. Except….he has two children from his first marriage that I finally got to know after I was married. ...Is this our cue to hug our children, love them deeply, honor their strengths and their spirits so that they can better love and guide the generation to come? ...We had a Life Celebration Party for him and my mother a few months before he died, and over a hundred people arrived to show their love and respect – many driving long distances. ...He’s been gone three years, yet I still hear his dumb jokes and puns echoing through my mind. ...This spring I’ll be officiating at a friend’s wedding, filling in for my father who had performed all of the other weddings in this family for the past thirty-five years.

3-2-1 BUNGY!!!

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-28T20:43:13-05:00

I took a deep breath as I weighed in and they wrote very boldly on my hand, my weight for all to see. I signed a waiver, acknowledging that what I was doing could be dangerous, I had no medical conditions and that I was sane, and was sent out to wait my turn. I always wanted to Bungy jump and while traveling in New Zealand, where Bungy was invented, it seemed like the right place to try. I decided on a bungy operation perched precariously on a cliff overlooking Lake Taupo, one of the most popular Bungy spots in New Zealand. “Ok, I want to watch a few Bungy’s first,” I said before I signed up and got myself into anything. ...The bungy platform was suspended in mid-air over a huge deep gorge, with striated rocky walls plummeting straight down to the blue water below. ...Watching along with me was a couple from Idaho who had already signed up. ...“Alright, I’m going,” said Seth, the guy from Idaho. We all watched as he approached the platform got strapped in and in the distance his small figure…jumped. ...“OK time to go sign up,” my husband gave me a vicious smile. I took a deep breath as I weighed in and they wrote very boldly on my hand, my weight for all to see. I signed a waiver, acknowledging that what I was doing could be dangerous, I had no medical conditions and that I was sane, and was sent out to wait my turn. “Alright see you,” my husband said while walking back over to the viewing area. I gave him a queasy smile and walked up to the platform. ...I stepped on a scale again as I entered and then sat down to get strapped in. ...All right walk over here to the edge put your feet on the line. I’m going to count 3-2-1 BUNGY and I want you to just put your hands over your head and dive, OK?” I agreed with a nod of my head and looked down. I couldn’t believe I was standing on an exposed edge of a platform looking 154 feet down...down…down! ...It was just me, no cage, no harness, and no parachute, just two straps Velcro-ed to my ankles. ...“Ok mate, just look at your feet while I pull you in.” ...“Oh, you did great, it takes some people a lot longer then that. ... See those guys over there, they’re the chickens, they didn’t do it,” he said pointing to a group of young sturdy-looking guys watching above. ...In one of the shops a T-shirt caught my eye it said, “You need to be young and stupid, before you can be old and wise”.

Juggling in the Snow

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-26T15:39:27-05:00

In my next life – I want to be a better juggler. ...There are SO many things I want and need to do each day – I end up getting that “deer in the headlights” look and freeze with indecision. I bowled the same way – whenever I got a split my bowling ball ended up going right down the middle – I just couldn’t choose which pin to go after, I wanted them both! (which may be why I gave up bowling about 20 years ago). Fast forward to today and my ever-present to-do list: ...write a few pages in my book, The Tree Faeries ...write my weekly blog for Donne Tempo ...You know – the list doesn’t look that overwhelming. ... And, since we have no outings today we can simply stay home and get a LOT accomplished. ...I could NOT get out of my warm bed at 6 am – and lingered until almost 7. Hence I did NOT complete my morning routine (did make the bed, though) because I wanted to spend a few minutes drinking coffee with my husband before he left for his 13 hour day. ...We live in a drafty 1900 house – and heat primarily with the woodstove. I’ve been hanging out quite close to the woodstove today – and the computer is really not that far from the heat source. Ergo – I’ve spent most of the day on the computer, researching different things – and trying to keep warm. Maybe it’s time to throw out the original to-do list, and adapt to the current day. ...stay in bed – and warm – as long as possible. (check) ...let kids sleep late – and stay warm (check) ...do as much work as possible on the computer (check) ...gather ingredients for hot mulled wine for tonight (check) ...take time to talk with mother & friends on phone (check) write few pages in my book The Tree Faeries ...Look at how much I’ve accomplished today! ... And maybe, if I feel so motivated, I’ll clean off the kitchen counters and unload the dishwasher. ...But first, I’ll have another cup of tea and watch the snow fall.

It's On the Internet, So It Must Be True … or Public Intellectual Lazyness In an Election Year

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-24T14:16:04-05:00

Despite the facts that my degree is in political science, I worked for the Federal government for many years, and I believe vehemently in the obligation as well as the right of every American to educate themselves and vote according to what they believe, I have to admit I don't follow the primaries as closely as I could. ...With that introduction, you'll be surprised to know that I got an email in my inbox last week about Barak Obama that I actually read. It upset me so much that I now have to devote my entire blog to it. It upset me because 1. it was forwarded to me from someone I consider exceptionally intelligent and 2. it was completely inflammatory and untrue. It also upset me because Barack Obama is not even my candidate of choice and now I feel compelled to spend my time defending someone who I am not even supporting. ... Doesn't that strike anyone as incredibly un-American, to wonder whether someone who is somehow different lacks the ability to be a good American?... By the way, the answer is yes, of course Muslims can be good Americans and many Muslims are good Americans. ... The email also says, "Barack Hussein Obama, a Muslim, wants to be our President." While it is true that Barack Obama does want to be our President, it is not true that he is Muslim. ... After the initial question about whether Muslims can be good Americans, the email says, "This question was forwarded to a friend who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.... If your unnamed friend who "worked" in Saudi Arabia for 20 years says something about Muslims is true, it must be so.... Did he live on the American compound, like many other Americans in Saudi Arabia, rarely interact with Saudi's and have limited knowledge of the culture?... I asked my friend who ran a bank in Saudi Arabia for five years, and he says Muslims can be good Americans. ...The first thing "the friend" says is "theologically, no….because his allegiance is to Allah…" Does that mean Christians can't be good Americans because their first allegiance is to the Christian God? ...Then, "the friend" says, "religiously – no….because no other religion is accepted by His Allah except Islam…" I would ask "the friend" how religiously is different from theology, but "the friend" was unavailable for questions.... That doesn't mean they don't accept The Constitution of the United States, unless "American" is a religion. ...And now the friend says, "Scripturally, no…because his allegiance is to the five Pillars of Islam and the Quran." The differentiation between religiously, theologically, and scripturally is somewhat confusing to me, but, that said, the United States does not have an official theology, religion, or scripture. ...TF (the friend) "Geographically – no…because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day." ...The specific inaccuracies are intellectually insulting and intentionally misleading – like when "the friend" says, "…Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in the Quran's 99 excellent names." That is true, but TF fails to mention that the 99 names do include Giver of Peace, The Merciful, The Beneficent, The Great Forgiver, and The All Forgiving. ... The writer says, "Obama even says if he wins the election, he will be sworn in on the Quran—not a Bible! ...The purpose of my blog is not to get you all to vote for Mr. ... Instead, my point is to please, please, please research your candidates and the issues and vote according to things you know are true, not what some unnamed source publishes on the Internet.

Blessings

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-19T17:48:45-05:00

But I have always had difficulty getting to know – and getting known – by these womyn. I don’t make friends easily – it takes quite a long time for me to get beyond the superficial. ...I get to connect with large groups of people in ways that I could never have managed one on one. And…better yet…after I speak people come up to ME and start talking! Much better than me having to break into other people’s conversation (can you say, terrifying?). I had the honor of attending my first Mother’s Blessingway ceremony last week. It is a spiritual, affirming event to support and strengthen the womyn who is about to give birth. ... Instead of buying blankets or buntings or breastpumps we each made a quilt square (see my previous post for THAT comedy of errors) and food to share, and we brought a candle, a bead and a blessing. The food was delicious – and the Mom had plenty left over to stock her freezer. We gathered in a circle and shared our stories about the Mom, our blessings, our encouragement. ...May you relax and meditate on this blessed new person, yet to be born. ...May the womyn of the ages rise up to offer their support and encouragement as labor begins. ...Revel in your connection to timeless generations of womyn, past and present, as all prepare to bring forth new life, new hope, new promise. May you forever feel the power, the primal call of the universe, as you follow the timeless instinct to bring forth life. May you bask in the blessed aftermath of birth as you caress your newborn babe. May the womyn of the ages smile – and cry – with you as your babe first suckles your breast, seeking life and nourishment. May the power and magick of these moments stay with you til the end of time. ...The Blessingway was incredible – we all felt so connected to the mother-to-be, to each other, to ourselves and to generations of other womyn. I have been SO much more creative this past week – it’s as if I’ve been re-born, and am re-discovering the creativity I have denied for so long. ...I’ve worked with most of these womyn for about six months – but didn’t really start knowing them – and letting them know me – until that night. ...We need to get away from the commercialism that makes us want more, consume more, waste more and start reveling in the unique power and serenity we bring to the world. When the Blessingway was over the mother wore a necklace of the beads we brought to her, to remind her that we were with her, supporting her through her last days of pregnancy and delivery. We each wore three beads on a string that the mother had tied to our wrist to remind us to continue sending her blessings and energy. ... Every time I see the bead I am reminded of that evening, and the blessings we received – and I smile.

2X4

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-17T20:39:27-05:00

Some days I think my life is an utter disaster, bills and laundry piling up, correspondences unanswered, the dishwasher needing to be unloaded, again, inspections, insurance, reviews, and for heavens sake who could bear to look at those horrible fingernails? ... I think anyone who’s house is immaculate, children are polite well behaved overachievers and who can sip martinis, politely knowing they haven’t overdrawn their bank account, again, must be freaks of nature, genetically superior in some way. ...So how then, I ask, do normal people manage to keep their head above the paper, laundy, dirty dish stream of life? ...One of the things I do with my students is teach them how to visually break down complicated subjects into simple forms. I am able to teach five and six year olds how to draw things like the Capitol Building or Chinese dragons. When children enter my classroom and see the project for the day, I often hear them exclaim,”I can’t draw that”! But by the end of class they, and their parents are surprised by what they have accomplished. ... All the time management/life coaches out there making fortunes off us hopelessly, overwhelmed, disorganized wrecks know this secret too. I have decided that I will never be able to stem the tide of paper, dishes, laundry that fills my life. ... So rather than cry “uncle”, crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head, I have adopted a plan. ...If I can do 2 things a day for my family, my job, my home, myself I consider I have had a successful day. I do more on some days but at least 2 things. ... Consider cooking a meal or shopping for groceries or taking out the trash as discreet things we do. Sometimes the mundane tasks get forgotten and somehow we end up telling ourselves we never get anything done. I suppose the 2X4 plan is as much about chipping away at bigger things as much as it an affirmation that we already do a heck of a lot of things that we don’t even realize we do. We marginalize the time spent doing certain things and then beat ourselves up for not seeming to get more done. If at the end of the day I can say I cooked a kick ass dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, returned 2 phone calls for work, cut my toenails and washed my hair, straightened up the living room and took out the recycle I can say I had a pretty successful day. I keep a list of things that need to be done. It helps me to organize and prioritize what I want to get done, but I don’t feel the need to plow through the list or lose sleep until it all gets done. And I don’t feel bad that things stay on the list for a day or week even. ... I’m not an overachiever but I don’t fall into the hopelessly lazy slug category either. My 2X4 plan enables me to celebrate the fact that every day I do accomplish things, maybe small, maybe few but accomplish nonetheless. Every day can be a success, its all in how you look at it. ... Try, for one week to focus on all the things you have done and not all the things that remain undone and see how you feel about yourself.

Julia – 1921 – 2007

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-14T23:53:06-05:00

This has been my 49th holiday season and one that I am very, very glad to see end. It was as hectic as the normal season, and I fretted over what I could possibly gift to my husband, a great guy who deserves what he wants, but I could think of nothing. ... Though I don’t bleach them gray anymore as I have give up using bleach for natural, non-poisonous products. ...On Tuesday she no longer looked like Julia, the face changes as the fluids go haywire I guess, but her hand, as she held mine, was the same. It was Julia’s and it was the same hand I had held so many times trying to let her know that regardless of everything else in life, I would always take care of her. ...Even driving over there, I thought ‘she has dodged so many bullets, she will be ok.’ ...It is not as if I did not know this day was coming. ... I was just walking out the door to go see her when they called. ...I would have like to be holding her hand when she finally left. ...Julia needed to be flown back to Chicago for burial next to her husband, Gene who passed March 15, 2001. I made the calls, ensured the arrangements were as they should be, arranged for our flights, hotels and rental car and we followed her in on Sunday. Out of all those arrangements, the moment that was most difficult was when I realized for the first time, in a very long time, well over a decade, that I did not know exactly where Julia was. The funeral home had arranged for her to be picked up for the flight, but I did not know where she was. ...No viewing, though I stopped at the funeral parlor to confirm that it was her and said good-bye. My husband, son and I helped to carry her casket into the church and we sat amongst family as they performed rites we do not adhere to, but respect that it was what she wanted. And then we helped carry her back out, and followed the hearse to the cemetery. ...She did not mean to be hard on me, she just was. ...Raised her son with a massive amount of love and would have done anything for him. ... So we took care of her and we are all glad that we did. ...Realize we have to make decisions on things we have kept all these years incase “mom” wanted them. She never did, but she would ask once in awhile and I could always say with certainty that “it was in the blue bin in the storage room.” ...So I took care of Julia the best I could for a long time and now she is gone. ... And someday, if you want, I will tell you about this woman I have known for more than 20 years. ...And I did not get my husband new black socks for Christmas.

Move Over, Martha Stewart!

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-14T23:52:08-05:00

Including the wonderful Life Celebration quilt I designed for my parents for their party over three years ago. My dad’s been dead three years next month – so I’m not really sure I’ll ever actually make the quilt – but I have the design and all of the supplies. To be honest – I’ve never made a quilt in my life. ...I just seem to have a huge chasm between what I can see in my mind – and what I can actually produce. ...I need to take a candle, a bead, a blessing, food to share, and a quilt square. I bought the candle but couldn’t find a bead I liked, so am taking her a moonstone. ... Am planning to make lavender shortbread cookies – and have actually made two batches of them recently – and they were delicious both times. ...I’ve used it maybe four times in as many years. (with NOT wonderful results – the last time was to make fairy costumes for the fairy festival for my daughters. ...So why do I own such a wonderful machine, if I don’t actually sew? It’s because my husband, bless his optimistic soul, actually believes me when I say I’m going to make something! ...I knew I needed to keep it simple, maybe a flannel background with a plain insert with the words, “I am loved”. ...I began by clearing out the sewing room so I could actually GET to the sewing machine. Hauled several boxes up to the attic, but under the empty boxes (in case things need to be returned) was a pile of old papers, material and other assorted stuff that the cats had knocked off of the table and been sleeping on. This was starting to feel like work, so I decided to take everything I needed downstairs to my clean dining room to work. ... Found a power cord, brought it downstairs to the machine – wrong power cord (I still have NO idea where it belongs). ...I decide to use the thread and bobbin that are already ON the machine, just to simplify things. ...About an hour later I’ve managed to sew a straight line – but then realize I really do need to change the thread. ... Then I realize I really need the embroidery attachment – or it’s going to look stupid. ...My main goal, I told my girlfriend, (who appliquéd a tree of life and colorful leaves on her square) was that my quilt square NOT look like it was made by chimps. I found a lovely sun design, which could be embroidered on plain fabric (and I remembered to use interfacing!) ... Another stressful hour, and I have an artistic (someone else’s vision) sun in dark green embroidered on light green fabric. It looks like something that should have taken 5 minutes of planning and 10 minutes of execution – and yet it is my entire day’s work. I really wanted to embroider SUN below it – but am terrified I’ll mess it up and have to start all over. ...All SHE has to do is survive nine months of pregnancy, childbirth, and the next 18 hair-pulling years.

Yes, I Am Going to Write About Jamie Lynn Spears…

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-13T21:06:41-05:00

I don’t know Jamie Lynn Spears or the Spears family, so all my thoughts are just that…thoughts and conjecture. ...I worry about everyone involved, including Jamie Lynn, the baby, and all her fans who are suffering collateral damage. ...I think she’s a kid who desperately needs love and attention, and consciously or subconsciously, she believes a baby will give her that. Not all that hard to imagine that the younger sister of Britney Spears would feel like she gets less attention than her headline-grabbing sibling. It makes me sad to think that a teenage girl would feel so inadequate and lonely that she would consider having a baby to alleviate some of those feelings. I worry that Jamie Lynn will spend a great deal of her not-quite-adult and adult life trying to win the approval of other people instead of finding self-acceptance. I worry that despite the success and the money and the adoration of fans, she does not feel good about herself. ... Spears is doing quite well, thank you very much, with more than adequate financial and family support, and she simply chose to have a baby. ...I believe Jamie Lynn will love this baby and will do her best to take care of it, but it is a rare 16-year-old who is equipped to raise a child. Maybe Jamie Lynn’s team will make sure the baby has professional nannies to care for it, maybe it won’t suffer the public custody horrors its cousins are enduring, but I fear the baby will grow up insecure, always seeking the attention it didn’t get from its mother. Not because its mother was evil, but because its mother was 16 and lacked the skills to raise a well adjusted child. I worry the baby will always try to find the love it didn’t have as a child, setting it up for a lifetime of depression poor self image. ...There is a legion of children who watch Zoey 101, some of them as young as 7 or 8-years-old, almost all of who know Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. ... Parents whose who had not planned to discuss sex for months or years are explaining reproduction at dinner tables because children hear that Jamie Lynn Spear is pregnant. ... Some young children are perplexed by the fact that Jamie Lynn is not married or that she’s the same age as the babysitter, or they have difficulty figuring out the logistics of how Zoey will work a crib into her room at PCA. None of this may sound significant, but when you’re walking through it, it strikes you that it’s the end of a kind of innocence. ...Jamie Lynn Spears is a role model, and idol, for pre-teen girls. The equation is straight forward and easy; if it was a good idea for Jamie Lynn Spears, maybe it’s a good idea for me. ... Teenage girls who know another teenager who is pregnant are much more likely than teenage girls who do not know other pregnant teens to become pregnant themselves. Pre-teen and teenage girls could view Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy as an event worth copying. ... And while the leap from wearing a single key on a necklace – like Zoey does – to becoming pregnant as a teenager – like Jamie Lynn did – may seem gigantic, it is actually much smaller than we would like to believe. ...Or maybe Jamie Lynn is perfectly well-adjusted, the baby will grow up happy and healthy, and the fans are fine. Or maybe the problem isn’t really Jamie Lynn, the baby, or the impact of a high profile teenage pregnancy on all the rest of us. Maybe I just need a prescription for Lunesta, some rest, and to catch up on the laundry that is piling up while I’m worrying about the Spears family.

Searching for Rainbows

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-07T23:56:14-05:00

I am the brain addled mother who runs outside during summer rains, three children on my heels like little ducklings. ... We ooh and ahh at our little piece of rainbow, and sigh when the brightness blends into the surrounding gray. ... The day may still be overcast and wet, but we ferreted out a bit of magic and sunshine, and stayed in the moment as long as the moment allowed. ...It had touched and claimed my grandfather, assorted older neighbors and friends of my parents, and the occasional distant young person that I never met – but grieved for their short journey just the same. My mother lost a breast to Cancer and went bravely on - just like she battled (and won) a fight with Leukemia when I was quite young. ...I was sitting in the hospital room with my best friend, a vibrant young woman with two small children, when her doctor entered. Without hesitation, he informed her she had Breast Cancer, and it had spread into her lungs and into her spine. She had no family history of the disease, she ate healthy foods, she exercised, and she nursed her babies for over a year. ...Now I was so close I couldn’t differentiate between my friend’s health and my own. ...Maybe living with Cancer meant there are no more perfect days (and if you happen to chance upon one, you cherish it intensely). ...I became more likely to follow through on a thought now; be it making a call, sending a note, or telling someone how much I value their contribution to my life. ...After the denial, the tears, and the surgery to remove her ovaries and tack down her lung – she began taking her life inventory. ...She took her children and left the man who refused to take her to the hospital for her surgery, the man who fantasized about how he wouldn’t have to work any more after receiving her life insurance benefits. She left the man who threatened her life when he realized she was serious in her desire to leave. ...The divorce eventually became final, although she ended up without health insurance, life insurance or child support, since the ex-husband refused to pay anything and she had no other resources. Along the way she found love – and it strengthened her enough to trust in love’s power. She’s now remarried, and her children are enjoying a stable family environment for the first time. ...Her treatments were cancelled when she had no health insurance, and apparently it gave the cancer the opportunity to spread to her liver. ...She now has a life worth living – and will do whatever it takes to keep enjoying it. ... She is an amazing woman, and I am so proud to call her my friend. Like the rainbows I’ve always chased, she burst forth out of the gloom and made the day bright again. ...Maybe we’ve always had the power to change darkness to light, but lack of faith in ourselves had us searching the skies, instead. Maybe – instead of looking for something outside of ourselves to change our world, we need to look a little deeper within. ...But instead of running outside into the rain to find remnants of hope, we’ll search for the strength within us to make our own rainbows.

I See Dead Things — The point

Donne Tempo — 2008-01-06T13:42:29-05:00

I would like to state for the record that I am not obsessed with deceased parrots or other dead things, just infinitely curious. When the universe presents us with an opportunity, we should feel at liberty to take advantage of it (though this is not especially good advice to offer kids - especially adolescents - without some sort of caveat). In any case, I chose to look at my beautiful red fox specimen, not as some scavenger’s dinner but as an opportunity to learn something new. ... I missed the opportunity to dissect the standard offerings of slugs, crickets and fetal pigs, opting for Astronomy and Geology instead. It wasn’t like I was squeamish or any thing, just more interested in boys and clothes than the internal organs of dead animals. I actually grew up in a family of hunters and, for better or worse, was accustomed to stumbling across the carcass of whatever animal my brother, dad and uncles brought home. ...Instead I was the kind of kid that would have funerals for the animals my big brother would kill. The animals that cross my path now, all these years later, are dead through no act of mine (other people’s road kill) and much like human bodies donated to science, I suddenly saw them as an opportunity to understand nature and thus my own existence a little better. So, with that beautiful fox resting in the trunk of my van, I set about the task of learning to do something I’d never done before: skin an animal. There are not many ready resources for lay taxidermists, but I did manage to find a book in the local library to provide me with the fundamentals. ... I can imagine that a surgeon feels that pang of discomfort when they make an incision. At least I’d like to believe they haven’t numbed themselves completely to pain of others. In any case, I felt like a surgeon when I was removing the fur from these animals, revealing the most magnificent workings imaginable. ... Bending the fox leg, I imagined myself Darwin, peering at a bird in the dim cabin on his sailing ship. ...Occasionally one of my mother’s neighbors would stop by curious about what I was doing. I would hold up a pelt and announce without apology, “I was flaying a fox!” ...I had given myself permission to experience something very human – curiosity – the thing that caused explorers to seek the source of the Nile, scientist to discover how to clone animals, engineers how to create nanotechnology. I don’t expect my curiosity to lead me to discovering anything new about quarks, black holes, or new uses for inconvenienced electrons, but I am pleased that it has taught me more about myself, my aesthetic, my place in nature. I skinned dead animals, I learned new things about how bodies work, and I appreciated something beautiful. And to think, no one gave me permission and I didn’t offer any apologies. My experience made me consider, briefly, a career as a taxidermist, undertaker or even a medical examiner. ... The point is that when you reach a certain age you no longer need to wait for permission before you can follow your dreams, passion, curiosities. And when you do you should not have to make any excuses or apologies. So hike the Appalachian Trail, learn Farsi, take up belly dancing, or skydiving, cook, travel, taste wine, paint, take up hula-hooping.

On the Road to Cairo

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-23T13:43:32-05:00

We arrived at Cairo International airport to a huge stagnant mass of people, who along with the building were disheveled and chaotic. I tightly clutched my 2 1/2 -year-old son’s hand; one slip and he would have been engulfed by the crowd. ...I chose a vendor that remained somber, checked his rates and exchanged a few US dollars for a stack full of Egyptian Pounds. Managing to siphon through the crowd, we piled into a taxi and headed into the city of 20 million. ... I just managed to grab my son’s shirtsleeve before he went tumbling through the door and onto the dusty pavement. Looking into the rearview mirror, my eyes caught the taxi driver’s peering back at me as if to say, “hey you’re in Egypt.” ... Funny, I held on tightly in the presence of a crowd of people, but when in a vehicle I lay down my guard. ... I suppose here the car is just for getting from one place to another; a place that is too far away to walk and that doesn’t include the Target four stores away from the Border’s. When we arrived at our hotel it reveled a quaint and proper space, having been a former British hangout in the days of English colonization. ... I felt sorry for my friends and family who were not in this dimension experiencing all that I was. ...Neon lights flash, men sit in plastic lawn chairs smoking sweet tobacco glaring at me through mystifying eyes, woman hustled down the streets heads covered in Muslim scarves, children scurrying behind. The next morning our guide arrived to take us out into the great Sahara desert. I’m not a passive traveler, so he would just be our guide and we would follow along in our own four-wheel-drive vehicles. ...As we headed out of the city, the Pyramids of Giza came into view and dominated the landscape for some miles. It seemed as if we were driving in concentric circles around the great masses of limestone. ...The Nile River followed along beside us for many hours until finally it gave way to the azure Mediterranean Sea. By nightfall we had cut back south into the desert and arrived at our destination, Siwa oasis. My body was hot and dusty from the day of travel and as I turned on the shower in our dirt-floored room, I realized it was going to be a cold one. Cleaned and chilled we wandered the village, until we spied a local Bedouin place with a huge bonfire beneath a grand tent. ...It was freezing that evening, but I pulled my camel hair blanket over top of myself and fell blissfully asleep. ...The air that morning was fresh except for the smell of fire’s lingering from the cold night before. ...In the cretaceous era, some 100 million years ago, the Sahara desert was a vast shallow sea, separating two super continents. ...I could take my clothes off, run naked, run wild, be an organic being with nature, who would care? ...And I wondered if that Airplane flying 35,000 feet above us could see our tiny fire burning in the vastness of the desert.

Make Mine Marble Rye

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-23T13:41:55-05:00

I have responsibility for my young son, age 8, and my mother-in-law, 86 going on 87. It leaves little in between for my husband, or for me. I spend large parts of my life home schooling my son. Sometimes at a desk, other times out and about looking at life. I see it as a great responsibility to enter into his brain more than just math facts, but also how to live. Memories that he will keep and remember long after I am gone. Those experiences that shape who and what we are. ...She came to live with us after her husband died and she was very ill. My son was one and she was 80. I spend my son’s infancy with her in oncologist’s office and with heart specialists. ... She didn’t and I was able to get her healthy, but we could not change who she was and that led to her eventually sitting down in a wheelchair and not getting up again. Which meant moving her to an assisted living facility, as she needed 24/7 access to care. In June the assisted living center she moved to did not keep a careful eye on her and she dehydrated, had a stroke and we lost her. Over four thousand dollars a month was just not enough to insure her care. ...So now, even though she is very much still alive, the "grandma" we knew is gone. ... In many ways a softer, gentler version of herself, though quite a bit of the old stubbornness is returning. ...What was there just after the stroke was hard to relate to; it just made you cry. ...Those bits and pieces of our lives that we keep inside ourselves to pull out when we need a smile or want to remember someone we loved. ...She remembers her parents, but not that they are gone. This is a hard time in our lives but harder for her. She knows she loves her son and grandson, but thinks that they are her brothers. And she reminds me often to tell “Jacquie” I said hello. ...And to slow down and help my son live a bit more. ... And there is more than one way to lose your life.

The World Is My Playground

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-23T13:41:22-05:00

When People find out that I’ve done allot of travel they always ask me, “What’s your favorite place?” I usually answer “Hmm? Well…Everywhere.” “No seriously, what’s your Favorite?” I’ll be asked again with a slow speaking emphasize on the word favorite. It’s true. Everywhere I’ve traveled I’ve found a land, a feeling and an experience that I can say is the best. It wasn’t always that way however. One of my first travel experiences was a trip to Italy alongside my native Italian grandfather. He would tell me to “just push” when we would get into an Italian line. If you don’t you’ll never make it to the front” he’d advise in his strong accent. That first trip to Italy I found the culture and people so intense, I wasn’t sure if I liked Italy at all, and believe me telling people that you aren’t just overly thrilled with Italy is like committing travelers sin. But as my passport became fuller with colored inks, I began to realize that the Italian line-pushers were something I relished. It was a new taste of life. And though I found it hard to swallow, to truly taste it I had to digest. I crave new tastes and each one becomes my favorite, something I want more of. So ask me again, where’s my favorite place? And where do I want to go next. And I’ll answer, anywhere and everywhere.

Black Friday

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-23T13:39:21-05:00

The holiday season is here. It is Black Friday that annual day of shopping hysteria. Fortunately I am a part of the Internet shopping force – I sit with cup of tea in hand and aimlessly browse. It is a good thing. Probably one of the best aspects of the whole World Wide Web thing is that land no longer needs to be cleared to build large shopping malls with the parking lots that have negative water shed results with every rainstorm. We no longer need to travel by car, idling while waiting for a parking space to open. No more mom’s screaming at their children while expecting seven year old boys to stand patiently while they debate the blue or the pink sweater. ...There is another positive benefit to our beloved World Wide Web. ... Trees that can grow instead of being be cut down to create paper to print a magazine, a newspaper, or even paper to send a letter. It’s a good thing. OK, it is sad that we no longer sit down and write letters to family and friends. There is something quaint about receiving Grandma’s letter and I have to admit I love to get mail. But I also love to get email from friends and family. I wish, often, that they would not be so brief But this holiday, what am I thankful for… a lot really. A beautiful son and wonderful husband, an extended family that is generally healthy including my parents, the bounty of my life and the love that is within it. ...But I am also grateful for the fact that I don’t have to go to the mall, except to see Santa and marvel at the Christmas decorations. Though those are no longer so great, often being themed around Disney Characters in red hats. And I am hopeful that online shopping will destroy the mega mall and allow the neighborhood “mom and pop” stores to reopen. Being nostalgic, maybe we are returning to the days of the “Sears catalog” where mom would shop out of the catalog and then wait for the mail. But those day-to-day things were bought in town, at the local shop that was owned and operated by your neighbor. Wouldn’t that be nice? I remember the holiday decorations were better. Not a Mickey Mouse in sight.

What the Hell?

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-11T12:17:13-05:00

I am thinking about Christmas a lot these days because I am writing about “gifts” for the holidays – gifts for children, for adults, for mom or dad, siblings and friends. And while I am writing about a very material aspect of the holiday, my thoughts wander to the more ethereal elements to the coming season. ...To open their eyes, and hearts, to people even if they are different, or not necessarily nice, or we don’t understand them. ...Face it, Mascoutah is not much of a town, but they have put themselves on the map with the simple message. ...Using the always-handy Internet, and jumping over to Wikipedia, a hug like the one young Megan Coulter expressed is defined as “a sign of support and comfort. ... It is practiced in almost all nations, countries, religions and sects and can also be shared between members of the same gender quite normally.” When I first heard the report I thought, “poor kids, they have to be protected from their fellow classmates.” But this is Mascoutah and I seriously doubted that the kids in this little town are walking the hallways with knives hidden up their sleeves waiting to hug and stab their fellow students. And being a small town and very Midwestern, I seriously doubted that the kids were getting overly affectionate inside the middle schools Checking out the city’s Annual Public Safety Report , the most recent being for 2006, the number of sex offenses in the city for the year was two and deadly weapon offenses were three. ...On Halloween, three blocks from my home as my child was getting ready to go trick or treating, another mother’s child was shot at the local grocery store. And banning middle school students from hugging each other is not going to stop unwarranted sexual content, or protect students from predators. ... Hugs are public displays of affection, but they are not the People Magazine type celebrity PDA’s that small minded folks, possibly those like middle school principal Bob Stone might be offended by. But these things come from the top and, Mayor Daughtery, may I ask, What the Hell are you people thinking? I want you and your city council, and your school board to know is that what good ole’ principal Bob’s actions do is erode Peace. ...And let me say quite clearly, if there is anything we need in this world it is all the love and the Peace that we can create. And peace will begin, and war will end, with children as long as we don’t destroy their ability express Peace. But I guess that is not important in Mascoutah where, gosh darn it, they don’t want’ children participating in such a thing. ...And I assure you I would not want to be seen as “different” in Mascoutah. If a simple expression of friendship is enough to give an eight grade old girl detention, being seen as “different” from the standard mid-western fare, would probably land you in jail. ...Mayor Daughtery, your little town makes me feel ashamed to say I am from the mid-west. ...If Megan Coulter would like to write a story on the power and beauty of hugs for Donne Tempo, please contact me at editor@donnetempo.com. ...And for the mom who doesn’t want Megan’s best friend to hang with her because of her transgression, c’mon. ...Finally, if the students in Mascoutah stage a good old fashioned hug-in, I – and I am sure many others - would like to know.

I See Dead Things…..Cool!

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-09T17:53:22-05:00

At the beginning of the last school year my daughter and I moved to Tidewater, Virginia. Wanting to try life in a small town, we moved to the town of Irvington, near the Rappahanock River, where my mother lives. Considering this to be a temporary move, I kept my job in Rockville, Maryland and commuted 3 hours + each way three days a week. About half of my journey was along rural roads and I began noticing the number and variety of road kill along the way. There was a lot of deer, bloating on the edges of the road, and just as many small animals, foxes, raccoons, skunks and squirrels. ... An eagle or red tailed hawk, I thought, as there are many in the Northern Neck Peninsula. ...He was beautiful, perfect in everyway, except for the small pellet hole on his head. This was sad, of course, but I thought it was cool because I could have this guy stuffed and mounted. After a few calls and emails to find out how to make this happen, I was told it was a federal offense to be in possession of any part of this bird. I found out this is true of most birds of prey unless you have a special permit, usually issued to scientists and museums. Being a little nervous and not wanting to invite any bad juju into my life, I returned the poor bird to the woods where he was found to let nature take its course. I must admit I was more than a little disappointed to miss out on having this stuffed bird in my house. ...I am fascinated with living creatures, even more when they are no longer living. ...Birds, who had somehow dropped dead, and not yet been carried off by the neighbor’s cat were found in my mother’s driveway. Bunnies and squirrels were laid out in front of her house. One day on my drive I found an incredible red fox that I wrapped in a plastic bag and placed in the back of my van. ... I was fortunate enough that with most of my finds the days were nice enough to drive with the windows down and the smell was then no worst to me than my boyfriend’s soccer shoes. ... To my mother’s feigned horror but definite annoyance, I brought my fox-find along with other critters home to her house. I should probably explain that I am a sculptor who’s long been fascinated by skeletons and the structure underlying things. My art rooms over the years have been home to skeletons animal and human, in whole or parts. My students were often amazed by the weight of a cow’s skull and the relative lightness of a human skull. My students have drawn bones and learned to analyze how light and shadow work to define the form of an object. ...Like the paintings we see in books or even photos of far away places our experience is different than standing in front of the real “Starry Night” or touching the cracked crust of the earth in Death Valley. ... At this point you may wonder where I am going with this, uh, somewhat distasteful story.

Going with your strengths...

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-09T17:51:08-05:00

For one thing - it sounds MUCH more positive than "lazy-assed slug". I DO have talents - even if they don't include team sports or keeping house like Martha Stewart. ...(Note that washing the windows didn't make that list) I actually love public speaking - I really enjoy that form of communication. ... I discovered public speaking in 6th grade (and won best in school for my version of "America's Promise"). My dad was a Methodist minister, so I also had the opportunity to be the guest lecturer at different Methodist churches before I was out of college. Later on I traveled around the country, talking about the different research projects I worked on as a PhD student. Once I was in private practice (audiology) I would travel to different groups and talk about hearing loss. I also became a certified toastmaster - just for the fun of it! People had told me for years that I should follow in my father's footsteps and become a minister - but I had a few problems with that. For one - mainstream religion doesn't fit me well - I believe everyone must find their own path. I eventually became a Unitarian Universalist - and found a few more public speaking opportunities there! But - even in a UU church - I have no desire to be a minister. I've lived that life - and have no desire to repeat it. ...They were having a hard time finding a pastor that would design a ceremony to reflect their beliefs and journey. Theresa said she really wanted ME to design and perform the ceremony - so I did. I became a certified wedding officiant and quickly put together a simple wedding ceremony that included Theresa's children and the different backgrounds and beliefs of Theresa and her husband to be. ...The ceremony took place in the courtyard of a small restaurant - with about 20 friends and family members. ...The wedding ring is a circle symbolizing the sun, and the earth, and the universe. ... As you enter into the circle of your shared love,may you be blessed through your devotion to this union. May your journey as husband and wife be filled ...May it always remind you that from this day forward, you will be surrounded by my love. ...I felt so blessed to be able to contribute my puny talents to their celebration. Let's face it - other friends took care of flowers, make-up, restaurant reservations and so on. Instead of being the usual "bump on a log" I was able to make the day incredibly special for them.

Camping for Couch Potatoes!

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-05T23:53:01-05:00

For those of you who would rather read a good book than leave the house - take note! ... No men - just me and my good fried T - who doesn't let Stage IV breast cancer slow her down. ... (It seems more like ten, to be honest) We went to Cape Henlopen in Delaware - and I wholeheartedly recommend it! The camp site was shaded, lovely and peaceful - and backed to one of the bike trails. We had to walk a bit to get to the restrooms - but it was worth it for the added privacy. The showers offered HOT water - which I took for granted and found out later was quite the luxury. (Which might explain my preference for 4+ star hotels). The tent, newly purchased for the event, was a tad disappointing. Really rotten assembling instructions, and when we finally figured it out (MUCH later) we realized it was MUCH smaller than we expected. Two of my kids ended up happily sleeping in the attached (but floorless) screen room, so all was well. I was so proud of myself when I called my husband that evening. "We got the tent set up - by ourselves, I built a fire AND I just cooked hot dogs and salmon over the fire. Let's face it - I ROCK!!!" (not the mention, the teriyaki salmon was most excellent!) We went swimming the next day and had a fantastic time - until my 5 year old disappeared. ... He has this thing.....if he doesn't see me he picks a direction and BOLTS as fast as he can. Luckily this time he was wearing a lime green floatie. I ran to the life guard - who already had him corralled - all the way at the other end of the beach. Did I mention he runs - fast??? Note to self....embed GPS locaters in the children. ...We only spent one night there - so there was a LOT of packing and unpacking (I'm not sure - but I think THAT'S why you take your husband along). Still, after the kids were asleep we had a wonderful girl-talk around the camp fire. Not much compares to a glass of wine, a camp fire, a girlfriend, and long talks about life, love and choices.

Nothing to Say….

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-05T23:49:27-05:00

Even the sound of the word is funny. ...By definition, blogs are an online personal journal with reflections and comments. If you blog (verb), you are a blogger (noun) who is adept at blogging (verb). It is another one of those wonderful words. ...For me, this is a personal statement, blogs are a challenge. To blog means, as a writer, to change ones perspective from the third person “To visit Santa Fe is an exciting prospect.” To the first person “I visited Santa Fe and it was very exciting.” Something I was taught never, ever to do. So now, I get to change. I get to think of a new way of communicating because Donne Tempo should have blogs because…well they are a way to communicate. ...And Donne Tempo will offer new ways to “live, learn and love.” At least that’s what my business card says. So now I learn to blog. “Live, learn, and love and blog.” But I find I have nothing to say. Except, I am not sure if I can blog. ...Blog, it’s a funny word. What do you think? I guess I have now blogged. Would you like to blog with our other bloggers and provide what you think through blogging? Give it a try, if you have not already. Concise, humorous, thoughtful, emotional – what do you want to say. ...And remember, always be kind, truthful and remember, don’t blog what you don’t want printed. It could come back to blog you.

Small breasted women of the world - take heart!

Donne Tempo — 2007-11-04T15:43:11-05:00

Turn her sideways and she disappears" and "What sticks out further, her nose or her chest???" ...The comedic talent of those around me never ceased to amaze. ...And then I birthed, and nursed, three children. ... His favorite trick was to latch on, plant his feet on my belly and catapult himself over my shoulder. ...Perky was certainly a thing of the past. ... I searched for bras that hiked my now non-perky friends up to a more acceptable position. I even sought out the help of an older woman at the Penney's store for fitting advice. I eventually threw out my 34B's and accepted my post-baby 40C's. But I hated buying - and wearing the bras that fit now. They were old lady hassocks, ugly and frumpy. ... Body parts stuck out at weird angles, or lounged down on my belly as if in defeat. Not to mention, trying on bras while juggling THREE small children is a sanity tester by itself! Last Sunday I went shopping with a girl friend - sans the six children who usually accompany us. I once more struggled to find a less hideous bra. I drug my friend into the act who immediately announced I was wearing the wrong size. [Apparently Oprah did a show recently - Bless that woman!] Yesterday I left the children with Grandma long enough to be fit at Nordstroms. Here's to Sasha, the certified fitter (it says so right on her business card) who settled me into a large dressing room, did her magic with the measuring tape, and then spent the next hour bringing me bras for my approval. I entered in a frumpy, old-lady bra measuring 38C and left in a blue lacy number in the size.....ready? ... [now, some stores refer to that as 34E - but that makes me think of E for Elephants - so I MUCH prefer the DDD!] ...The good news, honey, is that your wife is STACKED!.... The bad news...it's almost impossible to find a bra in 34DDD for less than $50!" ...In fact, the new bras are "minimizing" -so I actually looked bigger before. ...I'm thinking these bras were designed by women and I need to find one (just ONE!)

The Universe - 9,371: Me - 0

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-29T23:59:49-04:00

You know, where whatever CAN go wrong - WILL! Case in point: I have been endeavoring to improve my image. When we moved to the country I was thrilled that I could roll out of bed and trundle off to the local stores in whatever was handy and comfortable and STILL be considered presentable. And then you clean the mirror and realize that YOU have become the frumpy hag you never wanted to be! ...I've become zealous about using my fantastic Tarrah skin-care line, and the occasional foot care line! I'm dressing well upon waking, AND doing hair and makeup. That's it - I want to be the woman who can handle anything - and STILL keep her lipstick on straight. If only I could stop eating it off. {{sigh}} ...I'm looking polished and professional as I herd my children into a local store. I happen to glance down and realize that my 5 year old - the one who reads fluently AND is learning Latin - has apparently FORGOTTEN how to use a toilet - and simply doesn't care!! He actually had several "potty issues" that week - all of them involving me dealing with them in heels and lipstick. And then there was the bank incident. I can't even blame this one on the kids - I was alone. The bank moved their ATM - it's now in the wall of the drive-thru. The first time I used it I hadn't gotten close enough to the wall, and could barely reach the thing. Now I was determined to correct that mistake -and pulled in quite closely. I was making a deposit, and the machine asks if you want an envelope (they no longer have them just sitting there - the machine will give you ONE). Unfortunately, I fumbled the envelope, and it fell outside the car. And I can't get the door of the car open far enough to get out. So I'm leaning, stretching (most likely also cursing) and finally repositioning myself so that my leg (I'm 5'11") can pull the envelope close enough that I can stretch down and pick it up. Meanwhile the ATM is beeping at me - but not offering any more envelopes OR giving me back my bankcard. ...Oh well, at least my lipstick was on straight! The Universe has a whacky sense of humor - and doesn't want us to take ourselves too seriously, apparently.   Luckily, laughing at myself has always been easy.

Mind's Eye/Mind's Ear

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T17:14:45-04:00

Have you ever walked through the doors of a museum or gallery with anticipation only to feel overwhelmed even drained within the first few minutes? Have you ever wished you knew more about the art you do see? When was the last time you attended a performance and wished you had someone to have a thoughtful discussion with about what you had just seen? Welcome to Mind’s Eye/Mind’s Ear the place at Donne Tempo where we’ll share experiences and insights relating to the visual and performing arts. Here we’ll offer helpful hints on what to see and what not to miss if you have limited time. We’ll visit both the well and little known places for taking in the arts and introduce you to some of the women artists who have defined and continue to shape the arts as we know them. We hope to inform and at the same time, challenge and inspire. We welcome your questions and input. Look for my first column: “Whack! Art and the Feminist Revolution” a review and discussion of the retrospective show currently running at the Museum for Women in the Arts, in Washington, D.C. This exhibit contains over 300 works by 118 of some of the most influential and, perhaps, controversial artists in contemporary art history. We’ll look at these women, these movers and shakers and explore how and if their work, created at the height of the feminist movement, still holds it power or relevance today. Editor's Note: Who is Terre? Terre Jenkins is an artist and educator with 17 years teaching experience. She is currently the director of the Little Picasso School of Visual Arts in Rockville, Md. While she’s a native Washingtonian, she’s no stranger to navigating her way around the world. A fearless and sometimes feisty traveler, she’ll be happy to regale you with tales of being deported from France, joining local Chinese in morning exercises in a Shanghai park and being the featured “American” karaoke singer in Japanese whiskey bars…. Never afraid to ask why or what it all means you can look forward to her lively and not always reverent look at the arts around the corner and around the world.

Jumbled Words

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T17:04:57-04:00

One of those dear family memories is my father and brother timing the amount of time before I would start talking at the dinner table. ...Which was usually the amount of time it took me to need to breath. ...And if you knew me you would see the humor in their stopwatch games. ...As the home schooling mom of an elementary aged child, I get to relive a lot of that childhood learning. The most exciting of those things being the ability to just ask questions, non-stop, to explore, to look deeply at what is at hand. ...I look at my own life, my husband’s life, the life of my friends and there is just so much we are doing. ...I remember my mother telling me to go entertain myself or she would find something for me to do. That usually meant cleaning the stairs with a damp cloth to get the dog hair up. ...We still used a rag and a bucket of warm sudsy water for most things. ...Today I have my Hoover Floor Mate, which I, in the way that we can have adoration for mechanical objects, love. Actually I do not love the Floor Mate, I love what it does for me. No more buckets of warm sudsy water with who only knows what at the bottom, Yuck! How do you find time to just sit. My most relaxing time is sitting with my son exploring language arts, I love words, going full circle to my chattering youth. My favorite time is those stolen moments when my husband and I sit down to eat, the child is busy elsewhere and we can talk. It usually only lasts a few minutes, but those stolen minutes are like gold to me. ...The mundane, getting out the Floor Mate to the most important, spending time with the two men in my family. ...Born in 1958 in Chicagoland, Jacquie is a mid-westerner at heart. Quick to make new friends and ready to get up and go. Easy to distract with something shiny, pretty, or new, but able to buckle down to get it all done. With an unresolved need to communicate and find new things, Jacquie’s evolution toward travel journalism is natural. As one of 6 children, two parents and an assortment of pets, friends and relatives in one house, it may be the need to be heard amongst the noise coupled with the desire to find a bit of space. ...A very strange land for someone raised in the very common sense, blue color environs of the flat lands. There is little doubt that the chance to offer unfettered opinion, ala the blog, will bring about some interesting musings.

A Well-Lived Life

Donne Tempo — 2007-10-21T17:23:30-04:00

Last night I dreamed I was transported far into the future, then given the opportunity to look back and observe my life – to see how my choices affected my destiny. I awoke inspired, motivated to create the destiny I foretold. I saw a womyn who was not afraid of life, not afraid of taking chances, not afraid of speaking out. A womyn who unabashedly taught her children not only to dream, but to follow those dreams with every ounce of their being. To turn a deaf ear on the multitudes of dream-stompers who are forever warning of failure, and ordering all to adhere to the normal, well-traveled path. A womyn who followed her own advice, and set out to share her talents with the world – even if the world wasn’t always welcoming. A womyn who, on her deathbed, was not haunted by the ghosts of what could-of-been. Who was not a shriveled mass of unused potential, bitter and nasty. A womyn who, when looking back over a life well lived, smiled, content with her choices. ...Not to be bitter about my lack of early encouragement or wasted opportunities. Not to believe that, at forty plus, my ability to follow my dreams has long passed. This is only the halfway point, if that. I have decades to follow my dreams, no matter how impractical. ...The Un-Runner juggles kids, dreams, chaos and fitness. ...The daughter of a country preacher and a strong-minded woman, the Un-Runner was raised to fit in, to do what she was told, and to NEVER make waves. She excelled at it - reveling in the adoring pats that proclaimed her a "good girl". After decades of living, ten years of college, a career that never "fit" and marriage with children - she began asking herself what SHE wanted, what she needed, and what she believed. ...Within a year she - and her husband - had left mainstream religion, mainstream medicine and mainstream education. Today she has a history of unassisted homebirth, eclectic homeschooling, alternative medicine and instinctive parenting. She lives in the country with no television, no Gameboys - and unfortunately - no high-speed internet. ...She's adopted a new name, Paxton, that signifies her shift from trying to please others to pleasing herself. She's returned to her first loves - writing and motivational speaking. She also works daily on being more organized and efficient (some learning curves are longer than others). A life-long dreamer, she's determined to stop dreaming about her ideal life - and start living it!