Don't Even Bother Wearing That

Homage to Daphne Groeneveld

2012-06-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

Just a quicky (tee hee). Basically my blog layout is soo old and out of date I NEED to change it. But before I do I deffo need to do another 'Homage' post but this time to the beautiful and slightly weird Daphne Groenveld. The beauty shot I was using was from Vogue Paris, a September 2010 Issue, Styling done by Carine Roitfeld and photography by Mert & Marcus. So yes here is the sexy pic below... below I change me blog layout! wahhhhh (but well needs to be done) Thanks Daphne. (The name just reminds me of Scooby Doo).

Peace Out (someone please give me a suggestion of how to end my blogs coz 'Peace Out' & Peave Y'all' are both fucking terrible. Cheers x

The best thing to come from £9 billion... Tom Daley

2012-06-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

I'd like to point out that YES I KNOW, I haven't done a blog for a bazillion years... but I'm getting back into it ok!

So something that has recently come to my attention..... and probably the attention of ALOT of people with eyes is Tom Daley. So he used to be this cute little boy diving for Britain, being a Hero, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Now he is FIT. And lets face it in this economic climate people are sorta getting there backs up with the cost going from £2.5 billion.... to £3 billion.... to now as the BBC have predicted... £9 billion pounds just so some skinny women with no boobs and ugly men can run around a track, throw big sticks or jump in a swimming pool (I'm talking about the Olympics). Surely they could use the Thames for swimming... The Tube line for running.... Why spend £9 billion!! But Tom Daley and this amazing picture kinda makes it all seem worth while.... I hope you'd agree?

This wonder came from that shitty magazine you get in 'The Sun' paper. Think its called 'Fabulous?' Or 'Lil Shit Mag' or something of that nature...

So yer the £9 billion seems worth while now... right :/ All that needs to happen now is Mr Daley needs a scandal... which judge from his camp voice and weird dancing seems to be that he is a closet gay. So Thomas dive outta the water and straight into Narnia please.

Here are two videos... one of Tom being naked an pretty gay and one for you to here his manly voice.... I have to warn you the second video is SO BORING and him selling his book, but its just an example of why he is soon to be a complete bumder.

Peace out.

Hairy and Tight!

2011-12-01T20:02:00.001-08:00

Ok so finally GaGa has released her 'Marry The Night' video via Perez (bleugh) Hilton. It seems the long long long long long wait was to make up for the lack of media attention the newest single release from GaGa's 'Born This Way' Album.

After a spectacular and weird performance on the British X Factor, it was obvious this new video Produced by GaGa was guna be a 'different' one. And blimey! Its crazy!!! At the moment the drawn out 13 minute video can only be viewed directly through Perez's (bleugh.... yes I realise the use of bleugh is making me sound Bulimic) site. So here is the link. Also you'll notice a ridic huge advert for Cher Lloyd before the GaGa vid..... this is because Perez (bleurgh, still Bulimic) totally bums her, probs because she is more Bulimic than me in this post.
Also I HATE Mike Posner's smile, again that is vomit central, his smarmy smerk reminds me of a paedophile. ANYWAY here is the link to GaGa's new vid....

http://perezhilton.com/tv/Lady_GaGa_Marry_the_Night_Official_Music_Video/?id=1c446dcfbbb97&autoplay=true

Right so now you've watched it... isn't it a bit... shit? I love the idea but there is no video climax, no big bang, no 'WOW SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A WHOLE GUITAR OUT HER VAGINA' ..... I know awful right? However in this video below from her website, the clothes, the idea, the song arrangement are more exciting and appealing to me (its a slower thanksgiving version). I think GaGa's 13 minute video if it is going to be all sex, drugs & rock'n'roll really needs to fucking go for it!! And yes GaGa I think you fall flat bitch. Soz!

Overall both these videos for Marry The Night are nothing like I expected and leave me as disappointed as when GaGa didn't realise 'Monster' from her second album (it sounds like a epic Bond theme tune). Anyway search the web as I do I actually found a version GaGa should get inspiration. It's that of glamorous drag queen 'Sherry Vines.' Sherry Vine the star of The Queen's of Drag: NYC has done a Hairy and Tight parody which is hilarious!! So please... I have of course provided this video below. Watch and laugh......

Peace y'all

(p.s. Sherry Vine has a ton of great parodies - go on her youtube via this Hairy and Tight parody)

(p.p.s maybe my new tag line should be bleurgh as this post is so Bulimia Nervosa central! woooooo!)

N-Dicks & Chris 'Big N' Brown

2011-12-01T15:28:00.001-08:00

Be warned..... explicit content. Well instead of being warned I should really say, don't bother reading this and just scroll down to see Chris Brown and Dappy in the buff...... and guess what they are not photoshopped or fake!!

So the newest trend seems to simply be lobbing your cock out, taking a photo and getting your ex to flog it to a newspaper for a tidy sum to a top newspaper. Chris Brown was more than happy to see his member bracing the black and white pages, and of course Perez Hilton quickly uploaded the un-decent photos to his shitty website. Chris Brown talks about the pictures openly on the radio... I guess the good thing about this is that you know his pictures aren't fake... if you need some sorta validation for being seedy (I know I do!).

Dappy however decided that now Tulisa has a cool half a million in the bank and was the newest nations chaviest sweetheart he needed a bit of a media boost. What better way to do that then yup.. you guessed it, GET YOUR NOB OUT! So basically this is a post to show you these wonderful specimens.

I have included the video of Chris Breezy talking about his pics.... this is possibly the most vulgar post I have done thus why I haven't said shit, fuck or mother fucker once... apart from just then.

So enjoy the vid... and of course the pics, again be warned SCROLL DOWN FOR EXPLICIT CONTENT!

I think saying 'Peace y'all' will have no effect with the photos below..... FEEL FREE TO COMMENT!

Preggo or Not Preggo?

2011-11-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Well..... I have just watched the video that apparently shows that Beyonce is faking her pregnancy..... I'm not to sure.... her belly does fold like nothing I have EVER seen from a preggator.... and I've seen a few..... so I'm not really going to judge yet..... because I LOVE BEYONCE... and I just hope she isn't faking it! But she isn't providing evidence she is not, get your belly out Beyonce!! Show the world!!! Plus she is wearing hooker heels all the time still...... NOT GOOD

Anywho here is the video of her weird folding crunching baby stomach and I have also included a clip from the Wendy Williams Show in which Wendy gives all the details including her verdict and a few conspiracy theories!!

Peace y'all ! Let me know your views ... bubba? or no bubba??!?!

Justin Bieeeeberrrrrr

2011-11-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

If you don't get the title, then watch the video fools....

OK, so yes I haven't blogged in ages, but i have uni, work, life, not being a boring fat computer geek commitments to attend to.

However when I saw this vid I knew it was blog worthy, So eeeerrrrveryone loves the Jay-Z and Kayne West album, (although Kayne is a nob cheese) HOWEVER Jay-Z should a done a album with JB by the looks of it!! he can actually rap quite well (unlike his GF Selena Gomez who tried a poor attempt of Minaj's 'Super Bass')!

So yer basically look at this video of JB doing his thang on Jay-Z and Kayne's 'Otis'.

For some reason I couldn't put the video up :S so here is the link below :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBVXPYTzczU&feature=player_embedded#!

I have also (to keep this blog slightly fashion-like) included a photo of a new leather look and haircut Justin has recently donned.... questionable.... too much leather YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH LEATHER!!!

Peace y'all (expect my friend Lily... as she hates it when I say 'Peace')
x

Wynter Gordon - Dirty Talk... CLEAN FASHION!

2011-10-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

HI GUYSSSSSSSS.... so I deffo need to comment on WYNTER GORDON!! First of all she is such a babe and second HER FASHION! Her video 'dirty talk' is a great example of the fashionable shizz she wears, slightly 80's yet totally sexy and forward thinking! I don't know her video for Dirty Talk looks like it was inspired by the Dead or Alive video 'Spin Me Right Round' and still manages to be sexy (Pete Burns is a tramp). I have included a few images of Wynter and why I think she is to die for! (Yes, I just said that...) Check out her style and TAKE NOTE.

The first photo Is Wynter looking totally fresh and mix matches the huge bohemian fro with space invader silver books, this with the totally cute high waisted shorts (which ever girl should now own) and the Aztec like print crop top creates this sensational 80's wonder. She looks ultra chique and so so current (even though it;s 80's style you know what I mean).

Singing hear Wynter looks a bit like Whitney in her time, and a bit like Toni Braxton (just the hair and face of Toni Braxton). However this dress is the next evolution in colour blocking, it just shows the next step on, with bright bold look at me colours and less of the pastel tones currently being done.

This final outfit I chose of Wynter's is by far my favourite, a summer goody showing some more of her Bohemian like style, The only thing I might change is the skirt, love the length and the colour but I would love huge wide legged trousers of the same material, however love the shades and the mid-rift tie top.

So there you have it, three beauties from a beauty! Miss Gordon, I cannot wait to see what other beauties she may piece together as her next ensemble!

I leave you with her video for 'Dirty Talk' (great song) notice during the chorus the when she has her thick bang her style looks like it has a few anime references! LOVE IT!!

Peace Y'all (by the way I am going to stop saying peace y'all as much as my friend has told me off for saying it!

Homage to Freja Beha Erichsen

2011-10-02T16:38:00.000-07:00

It's a special time for my blog... the background is changing, but I don't think this can become a reality without paying respects to Freja Beha Erichsen, the model who loves to jump and bump on the runway look like a twat land up in Vogue and probs doesn't get out of bed for $20,000, (suck on that Linda Evangilista). Soooooo yes the picture as displayed below that has been on my blog for sometime was from a 70's inspired photo shoot of the March 2010 edition of Japanese Vogue. I've left the picture exactly the same as from the magazine (as it was cropped for my blog background purposes). SCANDALOUS! Photographed by Terry Richardson this was one of few black and white shots of the beaut. I Love Her! So if you haven't heard of her and you are writing a fashion or beauty blog, or any thing fashiony.... do your fucking homework.

Peace Y'all!!!

Poo-Water

2011-09-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

No this post isn't about looking at your own shit. It's about looking at other peoples shit, more specifically what me and my 3 friends Anna, Ellie and Frankie found when we went to Bluewater shopping centre. It has become a bit of a ritual to go to Bluewater on pay day and spend our moneysss! But to be honest it's so much more fun looking at the hideous items and displays from some of the shops. So this post is to name and shame some of the HORRIFIC HIDEOUS HORRIBLE (I like words begging with H) stuff we found. And of course I have photos as visual aids for the shops we are naming and shaming.

I can't even remember the name of the place we found these first monstrosities i'm hoping someone will comment and say they know where (maybe Anna as she is modelling the clothes). But this shop was full of uglyness... So look at the vial sequin top and shocking pink jacket with weird muslin material trousers... Now Anna and all her somehow makes these items look incredibly sexy, but trust me they are vial, she stepped out the fitting room and I wanted to instantly disown her. Instead I asked her to remove the items..... The second photo shows Anna modelling a rather grandma-fied silk chiffon sort of top.... Don't even get me started......
In the same shop I didn't think it was possible but they have made a dress that looks like a maxi dress designed for women who were incontinence pants, thats how ugly it is.... the print, the cut HOW IS IT FLATTERING!! Also in some horrifically ugly shoe shop for people who don't like shoes we found this lucky squirrels tail keyring.... so if you want to make faux fur look awful please buy this horrific keyring.....

The next stop was the hideous necklace store.... which again i can't remember what shop it was in... (girls you need to help me out - yes that's you Anna, Frankie and Ellie!) But yes this looks like Anna has fallen on a coral reef and slit her throat and some of the coral has become iembedded in her neck. Apart from that actually would be more beautiful and on trend. Also Ellie is modelling some lovely shoes.... animal print is a favourite of mine, but at Office they decided 'hey why not stick a HUGE GOLD TIGERS FACE on the shoe to glam it up. No bitch No. it's horrid yet again.

Next stop we went to All Saints, which has some lovely yet ridiculously over priced clothes, and the quality is terrible, looking most is less than 60% cotton full of polyester, and although the leather jackets are real... spending £400 hardly justifies it. Frankie pulled out some lovely leggings with a random skirt on top... made from the exact same material as the leggings..... and attached..... to the leggings..... I think this item as horrific as it may be was designed for those woman who think its acceptable to wear leggings with a shirt that doesn't cover there ass. HORRIBLE. The next shop again skips my memory possibly because it was like the tenth circle of hell (yes i know there is only supposed to be nine circles I'm suggesting this shop is a new one!). So yes this shop sold a lot of knitwear... and obviously the head of visual merchandising thought "hmmmm what sells knitwear... oh sheep.... lets stick all of our knitwear on the back of toy sheep on high shelves to help sell them." Well I would like to let these people know... it doesn't work, it just looks stupid.

After laughing at the sheep for men merchandising we headed off to New Look, a.k.a Poo Look, they had a whole fixture dedicated to horrific faux gold belts... it was so shiny and bright they should of doubled as a tanning salon. I also found a laughable Gilet in Topman, the service in Topshop/Topman Bluewater was HORRIFIC, no smiles, no nothing, infact the lady who served me spent the whole time talking to her colleague about how she was amazing at her job and how shit her colleague was. But back the the gilet, yes they need tips from other stores... it was thin, had no purpose and was fire engine red..... oh god, there is no help for some items.

So yer that was awful, Topman do some amazing little gems, I didn't understand that piece..... We then visited another "I hate my feet so will put them in awful shoes shoe store" which had these lovely yeti looking items sitting on a shelf in prime focal view from outside the shop, perhaps to deter anyone with half a fashion sense from walking in. I think the biggest shocker of the day was at Zara. Zara do fantastic stuff and the window display in Canterbury at the moment is so chique and modern. HOWEVER for some reason Bluewater had a different display... the clothing, well look at it, its from a Manic Depressives wardrobe. But look... I have nothing against gingers, in fact embrace the ginge, but DON'T EVER get a ginger bowl haircut. Christ my life, they must have seen me walking past and thought "as a joke lets put these wigs on the mannequins and see that boys reaction" which was me literally screaming.

Now again at Zara they had this lovely two piece gold suit Ellie somehow gives a lot of justice, become trust me when I say this..... I wanted to vomit everywhere, I wanted to vomit out of my mouth, my eyes, my ears, my nose,, my belly button... I wanted to vomit out of EVERYWHERE. So enjoy the gold two piece suit......

So I hope you have enjoyed these gems of ugliness, I feel sharing them with the world got a lot off my chest, we did find some cool items at Bluewater. I will share these items with you soon, but this post is about horrible things.... horrible items..... so here is a photo of my friend Bex mix matching Stripes and Plad Check.... these items are fine, but TOGETHER... oh Bex.... Rebecca.... you needed help.

PEACE Y'ALL!!!

Skream for DubStep

2011-09-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

Blog Lovers I'M SORRY!! I have neglected my blog for sometime.... I've been busy living life while you all sit here typing mindless shit. But now my life is pointless again, so back the bloggy woggy!! So I wanna share with you my new love.... Dubstep, the music I use to turn my nose up to but the past few months I really fucking love it!! I still think I prefer the lighter stuff and the dubstep with more lyrics but I am going to give you a countdown (I FRIGGIN LOVE COUNTDOWNS!) of my fav 10.... at the mo of course! And you should all download and listen to them! No question! Here goes....

10.) Ruffneck (Flex) - Skrillex - I love this song.... apart from the lyrics, the 'are you ready for the ruffneck base' line is pointless and annoying, yes we are listening to dubstep, we are ready for the base, so ready we are going to get so smashed we will forget the ruffneck base the neck morning.

9.) Promises - Nero - The video for this is slightly hilarious, but a good song, with some whiney girl lyrics, why not?

8.) End credits - Chase & Status feat Plan B - Arguably not dub step and it doesn't have a 'drop' but never the less I like it!

7.) I remember (Caspa remix) - Deadmau5 & Kaskade - Amazing song with less whiney lyrics then Promises and much less mainstream drops.

6.) Me & You - Nero - A very mainstream dubstep song but a epic one none the less. The sorta song a pill junkey will shit themselves too when the bass kicks in.

5.) The Epic Last Song - Skream - one of my favourite (obviously I have 4 more favourable than this) but a fantastic song, we play this at work and when it comes on in the morning the mood is set! (I find it hard we get anything done at Jack Wills with such an amazing song list all we wanna do is rave).

4.) Sunlight (Jacob Plant Remix)- Modstep - Modstep are coming up fast in the dubstep wave... however I dispute the spelling of there name, apparently Modstep is pronounced Mode Step.... why not spell it Modestep..... whatever.....

3.) Everyday - Rusko - A great song even for chilling out... who would of thought it... chilling out with some casual dubstep?

2.) I Love You So (Skream remix) - Cassius - The first dubstep song I truly appreciated, fantastic!!!

1.) First Of The Year - Skrillex - MY FAVOURITE BY FAR - waiting for Skrillex to make a sicker beat (yer I just said sicker beat......)

So there you have it... my dubstep favs! Enjoy! Peace y'all!!

GaGa gets NAKED

2011-09-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

So I recently posted about how natural GaGa is keeping in... well her new video You and I totally contradicts that CHEERS GAGA! Well however GaGa has also released an alternative shorter video for her new song You and I where she isn't a sex pest mermaid, a girl with broken ankles, the Frankenstein monster or a man.... (yes this is all included in the full length You and I video).

So GaGa has again kept it o natural! She even doesn't wear any undies... bit weird if you ask me.... SO I have yet again included some video's for you to look at, her new You and I video and the alternative 'Haus of U' video which is much shorter and sees GaGa riding her dress up to show her.... well her Little Monster? Her Disco Stick? Whatever she has you decide!!

Frankly her Haus of U video is amazing as she keeps a more natural look and it has a utter rawness (yes I love using this word) to it.

Enjoy the pictures and videos!!!

More tasteful 'Haus of U' Gaga

Less Tasteful Nakedness

And the videos for 'You and I' and 'Haus of U'

Snake Skinned & Venom Tongued

2011-09-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

Now for those who have read my blogs religiously (yes all 3 of you) you will notice that I have a tendency to be overall... well bitchy? BUT I can promise you I am not, I am just incredibly witty and clever, and can point out the evil doers of fashion and the media... so I feel I need to express a few more thing that I actually enjoy, starting with this post, about J-Lo... coz she is a babe.

Her first debut in Janet Jackson Video

So over the years J-Lo has developed from dancing in the back of Janet Jackson's videos to a worldwide pop star and actress. SO although this video has been out for sometime I am still loving J-Lo's style in her 'I'm Into You' video... and more specifically her snakeskin dress FIT FIT FIT! For all I care she could kill all the snakes in the world and make The Simpson's whacking day a reality if she keeps pulling out sexy snake skin outfits...(although yes I do realise this is just a snakeskin print not actual skin of snake.....) SO LOSERS! Here she is in all her snake skin glory in a few simple photos...... I have also included an extra photo of another snake skin outfit she rocked.... do you enjoy these looks or not so much? If you don't Don't even blogger telling me coz I know best. tee hee. (sarcasm over the Internet is hard to read)

Hello SNAKE FACE

Gorgeous!

All that Fabric gets me excited

And here is the amazing video where she shows her sexy snake skin dress.

Ellie Goulding Sells Her Soul

2011-09-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well.... for you people viewing my blog from Canterbury you will be well aware that she is of course from UKC (University of Kent) and she has lead a bitter bunch of students in her whirlwind of success.

Ellie aledgedly cut contact with all but 2 of her freinds at UKC and even deleted them off facebook *GASPS*
Ellie also refused to speak directly to former freinds at Kent regarding playing at there Smmer Ball in 2010.... 'you'll have to speak to my agent' is ringing in the ears of a still furious Summer Ball Committee - personally I think whatever trevor... Ellie is just trying to move on and leave people who didn't believe in her in her dust.

HOWEVER I am FURIOUS at Ellie's newest move... in her attempts to 'break America' like many UK stars try she has lost her originality, her rawness and tried to transform herself into a American Idol reject...

Ellie has recently re-released her No.1 Hit 'Starry Eyed' in America with a new American video! The song remaining exactly the same has no changes WHAT SO EVER but apprently for Ellie to release the song in America she needed a new video which is frankly uninpiring and contains some of the key componenets of American music videos.

1.) Product Placement - Ellie's new video sees her driving a Mini Cooper... hopefully they gave her enough money for the HD quiality of the video.

2.) Re-invent yourself - Ellie shows her original cute self with a beanie hat but at the same times decides to roam what looks like a straligmite and staligtite cave in a Avant-Garde style dress with royal blue contact lenses with some blitzy chunky earings even too much for Pat Butcher.

3.) Include a male - the original video and lyrics implied that Ellie was calling a love interest 'Starry Eyed' but encase the American's (who gave us Lady GaGa) couldn't understand the obvious connection Ellie glasps on to her man like a doting housewife throughout - male eye candy and depending woman = more youtube views!

4.) Updated green screen - Ellie's original video saw her with some £1.99 glitter stars probably glued onto her hands while this new video sees a tree turn into some robotic blueprints of some sort.... i'm really not sure of how it is significant to the video but yes it looks slightly cool.

And there you have it, Ellie's new americanise video... and to gage the success of both videos I have compiled some facts.

Ellie's Chart Scucess of Starry Eyed in the UK reached No.1 , in the US it failed to chart.....

Ellie's original UK version f starry eyed has 16 million views on youtube while the new US version has 5 million. Anyway enough of my opinion, her are the two versions of the different videos..... you be the judge and let me know your favourite.

Here is the original UK version:

And here is the shittier US version:

PEACE AND LOVE Y'ALL!!!

DO even Blogger.

2011-08-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

Oh heyyyy all my number one bitches! (to classify as a number 1 bitch you need to know who Carolina Herrera is - if not please leave) For my newest blog I'm going to talk about..... BLOGS. Yup ideas are wearing thin, so yes in this 21st century I have a few friends that like to blog also, so I am going to give you a quick breakdown of 6 blogs that I keep up with and you should too (if you don't find them interesting you should probably keep up with them mainly because I do too... and what i say goes). To the six lovely blogs I choose I am doing a LOVE/HATE section... so don't hate me for the hate section... or if you do hate me for the hate section... do it in a really sneaky way (like send me you shit in a envelope or something) - LOVE TO ALL SIX BLOGGERS. ALRIGHTY THEN! I'll give you a very brief description of the six and post the links below! And by the way all these bloggers are still active!

Amy J'adore - by Amy Edwards
http://amyjadore.blogspot.com/
Which is of course 'Amy Loves' - Amy's main blogs are on her love for photography with the odd post about fashion and styling tips - What I love about Amy's blog is that it is very specific and doesn't flake away with a hundred different topics... Like mine..... Also I agree with nearly everything the blog states - including the comments on Blake Lively - Some beautiful photography in this blog a bit different from others! TAKE A LOOK NOW. Thanks
Love - The photography - Amy sure does have a talent for good photographs.
Hates - A nail varnish post of Barry M, why do all girls BUM Barry M? Barry reminds me of EastEnders.

Beauty and the Least - by Lily Rose Austin
http://lilyroseaustin.blogspot.com/
From one of my bestest friends and house mate last year (move back now Lily) this is a blog that low and behold like the title suggests is mainly about beauty. Lily starting blogging around the same time as I did (a month ago if that) and is doing it for the same reason I do (boredom and fun). Lily's blog is very original and have some quirky bits in and it shows that Lily is not trying to impress anyone - if I was a girl I'd be taking her fashion tips. Expect some really original nail varnish posts (as through all the shitty nail varnish posts Lily has some of the most original nail ideas I've ever seen)
Love - The witty titles, effortless posts and her attitude
Hates - 'Stay Beautiful'.... Lily WHO ARE YOU - we both know there is a lot of ugly bitches out thurrrr.

C XOXO - by Caroline Elvin
http://cexoxo.blogspot.com/
If you love my blog - then thank this woman (Caroline) because without her mine would not exist... my inspiration for blogging.... and to be honest I didn't have a fucking clue how to use this site before talking to my and old housemate Caz. Caroline's blog focuses again or beauty tips and keeps it personal always relating back to herself or friends with lots of pictures for reference. A little bias but I LOVE Caroline's style and always have done (although she never wears this black jumpsuit she owns which I think is the fucking dogs bollocks). Caroline has been blogging for some time and her posts have matured like an old wine (not Jacobs Creek) and she has a clear voice and sense of style. It's another good light read and a blog to follow.
Love - Caroline does interviews on her blog - AND GOOD ONES TOO
Hates - Her green skinny jeans - purely because she loves them and this will annoy her.

Gem Fatale - by Gemma Royston-Claire
http://gemfatale.blogspot.com/
Gem by no means needs any more hype as I'm pretty sure she is blog royalty. Gem has a avid amidst of followers who even approach her at work and pretty soon she will have to start practising autographs. Gem has a real passion for blogging and it really shows, her blog has a wide variety of topics and a huge number of quality posts ranging from now to when she started in 2007. So no wonder she basically has started her own religion. gems post is definitely one for the fashion conscious and has a good blog sop that is worth taking a look at.
Loves - The posts are to the point and in no way pretentious or done up
Hates - Gem's love of cats - like the crazy woman from The Simpsons....

The Bonny Blueberry - by Nicole Ashley Moore
http://thebonnyblueberry.blogspot.com/
Nicole is another baby cake I used to work with (i forgot to mention I worked with Amy and Gemma both at Topshop back in the day). Nicole's blog takes a diary-ish format - with lots of pictures Nicole blogs about her day to day life, baking and her loves - which from reading her blog I have only just realised she has two posts on crazy golf... which I never saw her doing. I have only recently started following Nicole's blog so haven't read all the posts - but the photography and style of a girl and her family blog is rather fetching and interesting to read.
Loves - The personal level of the blog and lots of photographs
Hates - Again there are cat photos - why do people love cats? bleugh.

Dylans Discreet Diary - by ???
http://dylansdiscreetdiary.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry guys but this is BY FAR my favourite blog, it's original, witty, sexual and funny. I'm not going to say who it's by but it's sooo worth the read. The blogger has a very unique and strong sense of style not similar to mine at all however whoever you are or whatever style you may hold (apart from chav - although debatable chav is not a style but a punishment) you will enjoy this blog. It's a guilty pleasure and makes me chuckle and not for the faint hearted Christian's as the blog states.... the contents of the blog.... well have a look for yourself!!
Loves - The gritty yet witty, blunt crudeness.
Hates - Not a big fan of the green woman background, picture looks distorted a bit.

SO there you have it - six blogs and six very quick reviews and probably now six friends I have lost (don't hate me). You should follow all six of them for the reasons I have stated above! If not - then screw you sir and not a slow comfortable one for that! Chow for now!

I leave you with a video of two girls idolising a Cantaloupe. (the girl in the blue top scares me).

New Big Bother

2011-08-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Firstly No it's not a spelling mistake its a play on words!! Because there has been a lot of bother .... Channel 4 hating Channel 5 on the new Celeb Big Brother... Ok I realise the title of the blog is shit, but the content is AMAZING AS EVER! So basically with less than a week to go there have been a lot of names flung around about who is going to be in the new Celeb Big Brother house, (which if you ain't seen it looks amazing - just google search it). So yes, any-who I thought I would give my expertise opinion and rate the supposed suspects on how famous they actually are. I am taking into consideration three things (very scientific again i can assure you) How famous they are now, How famous they have been in the past & what they are famous for. So lets evaluate from least to most famous the 13 questionable suspects who may pop in the house. (I fucking love a countdown!)

13 - Paddy Doherty - Fame Rating 1/10 - He was on a episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding - nuff said.

12 - Sally Bercow - 3/10 - Although Sally has an incredibly famous husband most people won't actually know who it is..... anyone ... no? Go read a fucking newspaper I'm not telling you!

11 - Darryn Lyons - 3/10 - Darryn is some publicist or something with crazy hair that's big in Australia, you always see him on those tribute shows where he will be talking about someone who IS actually a celebrity.

10 - Jay Camelleri - 4/10 - At first I thought this was my friend Jean Paul with the same surname from Malta, because he is probably as famous as Jay, however Jay has not been in the public eye long on a new programme called 'Dirty Sex Things' not to be confused with the much more successful programme 'Dirty Sexy Money.' The programme is about models (although Jay never gets signed and acts like a 5 year old every episode) and more about how the 8 models involved secretly hate each other - Jay is sure to get gay bashed from Paddy if they both go in as he is a open bisexual! He also looks a bit like a scally twink (look this up in the gay urban dictionary)

9 - Steve Strange - 4/10 - It was acceptable in the 80's!!! Now fuck off Steve I don't want my folks to be watching the same TV because they used to listen to your music - a less successful Boy George and less of a surgery victim than Pete Burns.

8 - Kieran Richardson - 4/10 - No not the football player ... but the crummy Hollyoaks 'actor' if you call it that. He has recently jumped out of Narnia too so perhaps he will get it on with Jay? (doubtful - also I went to Brighton Pride today and have been overloaded by gays so I have become a homophobic homosexual today - If it's anything like Ecstasy the effects will wear off after some sleep).

7 - Sid Owen - 5/10 - RICKAAYYYYYY! RICKAAAAYYYY! (Someone will say it).

6 - Tara Reid - 6/10 - She's been in a few films (mainly teen films or chick flicks), done a few photo shoots in lingerie, quite big in America and bad on the celeb-o-meter.

5 - Bobby Brown - 7/10 - Whitney's hubby, someone will make a reference in the diary room to his strategy to win and his song 'Two Can Play That Game' without a doubt.

4 - Jedward - 7/10 - Never would I think there would be a countdown where Jedward beat Bobby Brown, however these two have become the nations favourite Marmite. They recently did a 'sexy' shoot shown below - I think it was for GQ or Attitude or something!

3 - Amy Childs - 8/10 - I don't watch 'This is the wrong direction .... fuck we're in Essex' however I know who Amy Childs is and she has become a complete household name, she is hilarious and hopefully won't take herself too seriously - a Chantelle Houton kind of figure.

2 - Kerry Katona - 8/10 - Kerry 'druggy' Katona! Wheyyyy! Surely she will be racking up lines on Jedward's arse (yes they have the same arse) - Although Kerry will make things interesting and will surely comment on her friendship with the late Jade Goody - a possible winner (I have now just realised I sooo should of done my predictions of an elimination order - I'm putting it at the end of this post).

1 - Pamela Anderson - 9/10 - Yay Pammy - A woman who has some celeb status... but oh wait it's all over in the US of A...... brilliant, but hey we can watch her run around slow and make jokes about her huge tits and lips probably made out of foreskins (like Megan Fox's).

Oh and here is my quick predicted elimination order (from first evicted to winner - and this is assuming these are the final housemates) :
Paddy Doherty
Darryn Lyons
Bobby Brown
Tara Reid
Steve Strange
Sally Bercow
Kieran Richardson
Sid Owen
Jedward
Pamela Anderson
Amy Childs
Jay Camelleri
Kerry Katona - Winner

Let me know what you think! (Although you know I'm right).

I HATE Little Monsters

2011-08-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ok So I recently blogged about GaGa's new look and I found this video of her Versace & Louboutin combo from YouTube. I would also like to bring to your attention that now she has done normal she has decided to go to another extreme for the album are of her new single 'You & I' and of course, dress up as a man. HOWEVER the point of this very short and late night blog is to point out how utterly HIDEOUS Gaga's little monsters are, so if you class yourself as a little monster, step the fuck back because here her little monsters are wining bitching fans who literally given the chance would torn off Gaga's hair and shove it on their genitals. Can I have a photo Gaga, can you sign my arm Gaga, can I have another photo, can I have a kiss, can you give me head Gaga, Shut the fuck up little mon-twats. So yes please view below the screaming annoying Little monsters and realise how much Gaga must be lying when she says 'I love you Little Monsters' every time she performs. And also just for the record this video clarifies that Gaga is not epileptic because all the camera flashing would of made her drop dead, like a sack of shit to the floor. So next time you seem Gaga keep your hair weave on, your monster claws & paws away, and give her a smile and say Hi and hopefully knowing that Gaga appreciates this will give you uber satisfaction compared to how aggravated she must get at some of her fans (but if I see Gaga just so y'all know I'm taking some secateurs and cutting one of her fingers off and putting it on a chain so I have her with me forever).

Lady GaGa - Rah Rah

2011-08-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

WASTING NO TIME HERE AND JUMPING STRAIGHT IT - Lady GaGa looks normal, GaGa decided to ditch her meat feast sexy cyber rubber animal nun costume and wear the most demur dress I have seen her EVER wear - Actually it's a Versace dress (I am not sure from what season but it looks V on trend for the Vintage Floral/ Block Colour Trends this season). This look from a woman who once held up a plane as she needed to but her fangs in before she got off....

GaGa oozing Class

GaGa less than a month ago performing 'Judas'

Casual Bacon Dress....

So GaGa looks sophisticated with her gold accessories, red nails and sharp square sunglasses (which she normally wears with Turquoise Hair or a weave of Multi-Coloured mess) and black clutch almost so you would hardly recognise her. GaGa's hair is all one colour and scream normal, her shoes are SO chic with the red bottoms - a trade mark Christian Louboutin classic effortless style. Lets hope she doesn't offer to wash anyones feet with her hair again, as the simple down blonde do is the best she has had for ages, it actually looks like hair - hair any weavologist would be proud of! As Tyra would say, she looks fierce, and the small slit of the dress does wonders for her pin sized legs. GaGa we salute you for not looks like a sack of shit.

Did you forget your jeans Turquoise slutty GaGa?

Kermit the Frog contradiction - she apparently
wore as a witty joke against killing animals
(see MEAT dress above).

Sometimes GaGa does have some acceptable style, yet I think this is by far the best so far, I have included some of GaGa's least flattering outfits and hair styles but of course this is only my opinion (the best opinion) but please let me know... what's your opinion.....

Don't Even BLOGGER Intro

2011-08-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

Oh hiya easy breezy beautiful cover girls and smooth sexy handsome Coverboys (I made the Coverboy one up obviously). So because I can smell sex on legs from a mile away and I have a hawk eye for the best style amidst a crowd of thousands that can rarely be stopped (normally only by conjunctivitis) it only makes sense that I can spot the bad as well. By god there is HELLA LOADS of bad fashion that is waiting for me to stop in its tracks. So my blogs entitled 'Don't Even Blogger' are for you blog viewers and I will thus hand out advice and name and shame each week things for you guys to cautiously avoid. Each week it will be one or more of these beauties listed below:

2 items (one for girls & one for boys)
one person
one place
one shop
one word/ phrase / saying.

So..... lets jump right fucking on it like a tramp on chips (yes I love this saying).

A prick on legs, no sorry Mugs

Guys, Don't Even Blogger wearing- Ugg Boots for Men, or as I like to call them 'Man Uggs' a.k.a MUGGS. Uggs are only just fashionable enough for women to wear, I mean think of any high end high street designer you may own and if any items would ever go with a pair of Uggs. Karen Miller? NO Armani? NO Hollister? NO All Saints? NO Vivienne Westwood? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO Jack Wills? Only if you wanted to be burnt at the stake Primark? YES - oh wait, Primark is shit and to be honest the few beauties you do find in Primark should never be paired with these furry devilish whole things that are supposedly called boots. Ugg Boots honestly, they literally look like dead rabbits turned inside-out, with less blood and less style (rabbits have style).

One of Jade's more questionable looks

Don't Even Blogger Disrespecting - Jade Cole - For all y'all ANTM haters Jade Cole is by far the most prolific and well known ANTM contestant ever, so it was no surprise that she was asked to star in the 17th Cycle Al-Star Addition, now i love a girl who say 'what you see is what you get' & 'don't judge a book by its cover' straight after one another, a girl who has has no clear concept of the English language, a woman who doesn't understand what a question is and a woman who can distinguish between America's Next Top Model & America's next Top Best Friend (not a TV show). However I was sooo disappointed to find out draggalicious Jade wouldn't be returning. Jade should not be named and shamed however respected, because as posted on her twitter her reasons included the 'bogus contract' Ken Mok and the ANTM producers were offering Jade for cycle 17, so unlike the way the show may have been edited we now see Jade had integrity (on some levels) and restraint (on few levels) and will not be returning for cycle 17 =(. I have provided a hilarious tribute of Jade here for you to watch and see what we are missing out on for Cycle 17.

The 6th Circle of Hell

Don't Even Blogger Shopping in - Mountain Warehouse - Lets keep this short and sweet, I thought this was bloody obvious, we all know Mountain Warehouse clothes is like a Drag Queens version of 'Single Ladies' - when I asked one of our girls to flyer (For Jack Wills) the guy opposite at Mountain Warehouse tried to dignity a flirt, my poor Jack Will's employee is so lucky she didn't spontaneously projectile vomit, to be fair, Mountain Warehouse was not the main reason, he was uggers (uggers as in butt ugly not some sorta chavish slang for your most unfashionable friend who constantly wears Ugg boots). You only need to shop her for camping gear, for when you go to hills, farms and woods.. speaking of woods (no this is not the part of the blog with inappropriate x-rated images....)

Don't Even Blogger Saying - Your Neck Of The Woods - Personally I think it makes absolutely NO sense, 'neck' in a woods, if the saying was 'In Your Bottle Neck Place Thing' I think in actual fact there would be more coherence. Also it angers me more so when fat people use this saying, if you are going to say 'my neck of the woods' I think your going to need a neck, 20 chins just doesn't cut it. I just think this saying is for the dim witted, so please when your in my neck of the woods refrain for saying this.

So that conclude this weeks addition. So just Don't Even Blogger with Everything Mentioned! :D Peace y'all, stay safe (a.k.a Away from London, Manchester, Wolverhampton, Kent - everyone is rioting).

So you wanna be a flop?

2011-08-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

As this blog progresses, you'll see one pattern, ANTM a.k.a America's Next Top Model (not to be confused with Afghanistan's Next Top Model). And Tyra Banks decided to switch it up for the 17th cycle (cycle: apparently that's a fierce word for series). Well TyTy was desperately loosing viewers and since The Tyra Show stopped she has no excuse for doing the same thing with slightly weirder girls for the seventeenth time, so why not do a bit of recycling... this time instead of doing it through a economical stretch hummer made out of cans and hair weave Tyra has struck genius. She is recycling the girls!

So yup the biggest bitches and best ugly pretty girls are back, 14 girls from the previous 16 cycles are battling it out for the biggest yet probably the shittest prizes yet : a spread in Vogue Italia, a $100,000 contract with Covergirl, a campaign with some unheard of agency and that's it (so yes Tyra says the biggest prizes - but it seems like the same ones with shitter packaging). So to go with TyTy's shit prizes, and same shit judges (although Nicki Minaj makes one strange guest judge appearance on the basis that she is fashionable for having a new weave or wig every week), and probably shit challenges, shit layout, shit camera angles she will spend the whole budget of the show on a new 'Title Sequence' with the 14 girls, so there is an enjoyable 30 seconds of each hour episode.

But let's cut to the chase, the 14 AMAZING GIRLS.... who with no sarcastic undertone at all have great model potential... so I have decided, again in a very scientific way to rate the 14 girls just as Tyra and the other judges do - not at all on modelling potential but on how 'fierce' they are (as in how liked they will be) and how they can 'smize' (apparently smiling with the eyes, a good way to perfect this is to be infected by the early stages of conjunctivitis).
So starting with Numbero Quatorze and the worst girl of this bi-cycle.

14. Dominique Reighard - Cycle 10 - 4th - I don't know whats more shocking, the fact she has a second chance or the fact she came 4th first time round, she is by far the manliest contestant which is hard to believe as one of her competition was actually a man (Isis King). But she did produce one half decent photo which I have included, after all lets not add insult to injury, she knows shes thicker than Marc Jacobs abs and about as manly as them too. Not only that the photo I have chosen is one that looks semi believable as something a real model might actually have to do when selling jewelery.

Brittany

Dominique

13. Brittany Brower - Cycle 4 - 4th - At the time of the 4 uni-cycle (2005) Brittany was called the over sex girl who liked shouting out and taking her clothes off alot, her major critique was that she looked like a young Janice Dickinson, sadly 6 years on now she just looks like a an old Janice Dickinson, however she was great fun, and at any given moment will prove to be a huge slut, like the photo provided of her, looks graceful don't it? In fact they girls had to make there own outfit from their surrounding, which for Brittany was an excuse to pleasure herself in mud.

12. Lisa D'Amato - Cycle 5 - 6th - The clown which named some shrubbery 'cousin it' and the girl notoriously named 'alcoholic bitch' by one of the other girls mainly because she was an 'alcoholic bitch.' Her looks are pretty hideous but no doubt Nigel Barker will love 'the planes of her cheek bones' which obviously is the most important factor in becoming a model, she is slightly more famous than the rest though for going on some other reality TV show, however 'Reality Celebrity Rehab' wasn't the best platform for a modelling career. (Also all her pictures were awful so I'm dignifying her with one!)

11. Laura Kirkpatrick - Cycle 13 - 2nd - Laura was one of those random short girls because TyTy thinks 'if Kate Moss can do it other short girls can' in reality there are 2.5 billion women under 5''9 that haven't made it as a super model... so Kate moss is probably an exception. The other thing about Laura? Her sun burn made her look like she had leprosy - MODELISHOUS!

10. Camille McDonald - Cycle 2 - 5th - The girl most likely to be chucked out the house for being a raggedy bitch - expect her to flaunt her Z list fame and look like an idiot nobody.

Camille

Laura

Shannon

9. Shannon Stewart - Cycle 1 - 2nd - Before Nigel, Before Smize, Before H2T Posing... there was Shannon, and now... she's fucking old and probably has no chance of winning.... isn't she like 30 and married?

8. Kayla Ferrell - Cycle 15 - 4th - She is a lesbian, so TyTy will keep her in to show that she loves the rug munchers as well as the gays, she does have a lot of potential but cries a lot and calls references to the fact she is a huge lezzer constantly.

7. Bre Scullark - Cycle 5 - 3rd - WHO STOLE MY GRANOLA BARS - Something that will surely be mentioned every episode because she goes fucking mental over her food.

6. Isis King - Cycle 11- 10th - (S)he is the girl who was seen in the background on cycle 10, (S)he has true knowledge of modeling and itsn't a total crack whore, (S)he is will finally be using tit tap on her boobs rather than to tap her cock in place, because thats right, Isis used to be a man (Where the fuck do you find them Tyra!)

Bre

Isis

Kayla

5. Alexandria Everett - Cycle 16 - 4th - She likes to pout way to much and will have most fans throwing there low fat yogurt at the t.v. but she is personally a favourite, she has the potential and the editing is probably done to make her look completely insane, the fact she is young means she will hopefully get somewhere!

4. Bianca Golden - Cycle 9 - 4th - She got in fight with the fat girl from Hairspray, this makes her semi famous, She also had to shave her hair all off and is completely 'hood' and 'ghetto' - Lets leave her in for a while as hopefully she will stir things up and come on top as the most bitchiest.

3. Angelea Preston - Cycle 14 - 3rd - She tried out for Cycle 12 and failed, and then she just missed out from the finals of Cycle 14, but lets not forget to mention the more important details including her 'bitch please' look which she constantly gives, she looks a bit like a rat on crack but she obviously wants to be a model and will probably stay in because TyTy loves helping the project (project - that's the ghetto by the way).

Alexandria

Bianca

Angelea

2. Allison Harvard - Cycle 12 - 2nd - Allison is the most likely to actually win, she in most fans eyes got the title stolen away from her (from Teyona who looked like a bulimic Grace Jones) . She looks like a bird, enjoys nose bleeds and looks like a porcelain doll, what isn't there to like?

1. Sheena Sakai - Cycle 11 - 5th - Hey Gurllllll! So yes she is Asian but speaks like a black girl from LA, she is easily my favourite as she has had a huge boob job and can only do overly sexy poses, will she win? Hell to the fucking no, but lets hope she stays in for some time as her one liners and awkwardness come across hilarious!!
So there you go, the girls in the All-Star season are mainly the biggest bitch or weirdo from each series, chuck a couple of guys ion there and it will be big brother! Let me know who you want to win, or who has any chance of winning (not that they will get any success from it)! :D

Allison

Sheena

All my hairy ladies, Now raise your brows up!

2011-08-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

Armpits, Legs, Tash, Privates and for some of you hairy weirdos Hands, well you can now leave Eyebrows off that list. Brooke Shield's face has gone from a beaut to a mouldy mango with two slugs fighting to get to the core so here is your chance to take her place!

Brooke Shield in her prime, look at those brows!

It's 2011, so seriously let your brows grow wild, with the Bohemian Apocalyptic Woman taking over the fashion world who would even consider that she has time to pluck those brows? (Probably only Katie Price). Summer is drawing to a close so a definite style to be floating around for the next few months is the thick brow, a timeless beauty trick because to be honest pencil thin or tattooed brows have always been a train wreck. A thin brow is only complimented by a McKenzie tracksuit, a thick brow gives the impression of "I could thread, wax and pluck 'em but you and your hairy mono-brow can fuck off if you think I am going to."

A nicely shaped brow doesn't mean a thin one, and there are easy steps to follow to pull off a successful full brow just as many supermodels are currently doing so!

A great example is from Fernanda Tavares, a current face for Dolce & Gabbana, how do you spell Gabbana? (if you don't know what film that is from just get out). Fernanda Tavares has thick brows yet definite shape to her brows, STEP 1 - KEEP THE SHAPE - Tavares shows the importance of keeping ones brow shape, you don't wanna look like you have two Tetris oblongs on your face, so let your brows grow out so that when you next come round to plucking you can keep the same shape yet have more to work with thus making them thicker, see that isn't so hard is it?

Notice the Spanish for 'Very Sexy' is 'Very Sexy'

Pay attention to the brow! Not the bra it's hideous.

STEP TWO - Secure a front cover and six page spread of Mexican Vogue so everyone believes big brows are sexy, cool and modern. I'm joking of course, (although if you could do this it would be a bonus), if sadly you are not the long lost twin of supermodel Ali Michael the next step is to make sure your complimenting your hair, makeup and clothing - Big brows does not work for everyone! Having big brows and keeping them sexy yet chic can be difficult for blondes, red heads and light hair tones, this is because its difficult to have a big brow that stands out with a difference. There is nothing wrong with a blonde using some brow liner pencils (I'm not suggesting a brand of brow liner because frankly that 45 year old orange leather skinned woman on your local Clinique counter gets paid for it). Just keep it at a light coverage for lighter skin tones and obviously get the correct shade (I'm talking to you Nicola Roberts). Also consider what your personal style is, if you enjoy lots of floral print (snoring!) your probably going to want to stay with your under-achiever regular brows, big brows are complimented by colour blocking, layering, faux fur outerwear, bohemian, punk rock & mod styles and sleek and chic evening wear.

STEP THREE - The first time you let your eye brows grow out I would recommend threading (plucking is semi-acceptable if your a poor ho), threading for the first time helps give the brows shape and definition, painful as is apparently is, it also is done from the perspective of a professional and someone who hasn't seen your brows when they looked like really long pubic hairs, therefore the threader can keep them thick and give you tips on how to pluck them effectively.

STEP FOUR - Before you jump outside to show your social circle your new brows like a tramp on chips, make sure you are confident and have followed the 3 completely scientifically accurate steps above! You don't wanna look like Megan Fox after the surgery!

So that's one less thing for you to maintain as obviously you can let them get as hairy as fuck whilst you grow them out! And below I have also included a picture of uber annoying Cycle 3271 (a.k.a 14) America's Next Top Model contestant Raina Hein who has some spectacular big defined eye brows.

100% Hideous - Nicola Roberts

My lips look like they are made out of foreskins, but look at my brows!

If your wondering, no Raina didn't win.

Enjoy your brows hairy gurl! And who knows maybe next year a full fledged bush will be on the cards as the new fashion craze!