My reasoning behind this attempt is that our lease (I don’t know what the correct interwobs term is) on this site should be up sometime this summer. Not that you would be able to tell when that was, because you know, we barely touch this thing anyways.

So why try now? Well mostly because I don’t believe that I or we can keep this up, and you probably don’t either, I’m sure Nick doesn’t believe it, and I’m pretty sure Dave doesn’t either, even though I haven’t talked to that dude in what seems like eons. We’ve crawled under our respective rocks on our opposite ends of the world recently. I’m sure we’ll reconnect over a 3 a.m. tweetfest that will drive everyone insane the next morning, with us realizing we should switch to a more efficient means of communication about 30 @replies into our convo. Albeit too late. Did I use that right? Let’s hope so.

If this attempt is successful over the next several weeks (months?) then I’d be up for starting up my own site, or we can try to keep this up again. If it doesn’t work out then it doesn’t work out. It was a pretty sweet blog. You’ve got to admit.

What I would like to do ideally is try to get some interviews with up and coming artists, the same ones we write about. To my surprise, my friends aren’t the only people that read this site, and through an exchange of tweets I found out some of the artists I wrote about are familiar with this site. Pretty cool shit. It’d be even cooler to go beyond just reading online bios and actually doing interviews. Again just ideas.

Also, I’d like to do show reviews, that’d be sweet. Album reviews too.

Keep in mind. I’m an idealist. An idealist with an idea list. An extra corny one.

So what has our hero (me) been up to in these past months? I have been buying classic and random ass records (as in vinyl), and will probably be talking about some of my interesting finds on future blog posts.

I’ve committed to reading books and finishing them, something I haven’t done in years. I don’t have enough fingers to count how many books I’ve left half finished over the past I don’t know how many years. Almost done with my first book of my new commitment. Reading Philip K. Dick’s VALIS. Almost done. Fantastic so far.

The title of this post comes from a line in “Mama Said Knock You Out”  by LL Cool J. I recently heard a story about LL stealing all of his early rhymes from another artist. I heard this story from a friend, whose uncle says to have been the producer for the guy who LL stole his rhymes from. Interesting story, whether it’s believable or not. Me personally, not a huge fan of LL, but that’s personal preference.

Here’s the song. I’ll post more soon. I’ve been listening to some interesting stuff lately. You’ll hear about it.

LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out

Metric is an awesome band.  If you aren’t familiar with them already, go get Live it Out and rock the fuck out.  They’re a Canadian indie band that, well, rocks.

Anyway, their new album Fantasies drops on 3/31 and they’re accepting pre-orders now at http://ilovemetric.com/.  They’re trying something that is becoming increasingly more popular these days and offering not just the album, but tiered options with different prices.  You can buy just the album, or get it on vinyl too, or spring for the Limited Deluxe Edition for 64.99, which comes with all sorts of cool goodies, including signed pictures of the band and limited edition artwork, such as this piece:

Very cool.  Also, on their homepage they’re showing a short documentary featuring lead singer Emily Haines, where she describes the making of the album and how she was inspired by her time in Buenos Aires (!).  I am unabashedly in love with her and Metric and also her solo act Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton.  And I went ahead and pre-ordered, and got 3 instant mp3s/flacs while waiting for the official release, a practice I think more bands should follow.  This is the internet after all, and we want our instant gratification.  There’s nothing more frustrating than hearing your favorite band has an album coming out but you won’t be able to hear it for 3 months.  I’d just rather not know…

Anyway, the 3 free songs are pretty fucking awesome.  There’s “Help I’m Alive,” both regular and acoustic, and the regular version will make you want to dance around like a maniac.  Trust me.  Also a cover of “Nobody Home” by Pink Floyd, by their guitarist.

Metric - Help I’m Alive

Rock out.

Then, on Monday, I was served with this.

An except:

Percy broke through the factory doors, and began to cause havoc in the factory. Factory workers tried to stop him, but had to run out of the way so they didn’t get run over. Just then Wallace from Wallace and Gromit jumped in front of Percy.

“You’re not getting my precious cheese!” shouted Wallace. But Percy just ran him over.

“AAAARGH!!!” cried Wallace as he was crushed by Percy’s wheels, blood splattering everywhere. It was quite messy.

Meanwhile, the Fat Controller was on the phone in his office. He had received many complaints about engines going psycho.

“So, Thomas destroyed a school bus killing 53 children, Percy tried to eat all the cheese in a cheese factory resulting in 78 casualties including 69 in car accidents, Gordon didn’t stop at the last station on the line and went through the wall at 100mph killing 196 passengers and 45 people in the station, TOBY RAN OVER A VICAR, AND JAMES CRASHED WHILE IN THE STEELWORKS KNOCKING 5 WORKERS INTO A VAT OF WROUGHT IRON????!!!!!!!” he roared into the telephone.

“THAT BRINGS THE BODY COUNT TO 447!!! ON MY RAILWAY!! I WON’T HAVE IT!! I’M GOING TO TELL THOSE BLOODY JAPANESE PEOPLE NOT TO OFFER ME THEIR FANCY COAL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!”

The Fat Controller slammed down the phone.

Now that is some moving shit.

In hopes of drumming up some interest in this blog, or chasing everyone away, I’m starting a TTTE fanfic competition. No topic is off limits, as long as you keep it tied somewhat to the TTTE realm. Here’s a character list. You know, just in case your once encyclopaedic knowledge of TTTE has slipped a bit over the years.

We’ll be accepting entries until Wednesday, March 25. High noon.

Make your submissions to dgs.blag@gmail.com.

For added enjoyment, here’s how much this competition is going to kill Dave’s spirit.

I copied this to him via gchat…

Suddenly, Mavis biffed him hard, moving her face forward and doing the physically impossible, pressed her lips against his. Flora’s eyes shrunk and she screamed in horror, the scream was three times as louder as Rosie, Gordon and Alicia Botti’s voice altogether. Everyone cringed. Edward’s mouth dropped, and James almost puked at such a sight.

Besides the ringing of Flora’s scream, Toby’s face had begun to burn up wildly. Mavis blushed hard knowing passengers, Flora, her driver- hell, the whole station watched. Several people began to take pictures, mothers covered their little children’s eyes and several people applaud louder and whooped for them. Flora nearly exploded in anger but just passed out. Nobody really noticed until very later.

Dave: um this entire passage could mean several things, depending on the definition of the word ‘biff’

like is that train rape?

me: i’m thinking it means kiss

not train rape

Dave: i mean there’s tears and screaming

me: unless the first part means the one train raped the other train in the face

Dave:why is a kiss physically impossible

there are so many questions

me: they’re trains motherfucker

Dave: they have faces

ive seen the show

with fucking mouths

ugh

me: seen the rape go down?

Dave: this is a rabbit hole i did not want to go down

me: but normally, i don’t think you could get a train face to face

rabbit hole was a poor choice of words

Dave: they have those friggin spinning tracks to turn em around

me: also poor choice

no, but their faces aren’t the farthest things forward

Dave: this entire subject is a minefield

why have you done this

me: http://www.myfavoritetoys.com/characters.php

ok

check that

Dave: they could kiss

……

ugh

Dave: there are a lot of fucking trains on that show

“Rickety the Troublesome Truck’ probably doesnt get much airtime, tho

lol

the boulder

::closes tab::

me: thomas is a gay little train

Dave: is that the opening line of your fanfic story?

me: i’m going to post this whole conversation on dgs

Dave: ….

me: also, i hate you

Dave: you know i can delete dgs posts

me: yeah

Dave: or just revoke your right to post all together

me: i dare you

So there you have it. Please take part in this contest. It’ll be the final straw that breaks the proverbial camel’s back that is Dave’s psyche. Noon. March 25. That’s a Wednesday. dgs.blag@gmail.com

The sample for “Ghost Showers” comes from the song “Sunshower” by Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band, a group based in The Bronx, New York, known for their distinct and original sound. You’ll see what I mean. Here’s the song:

As you can hear, the sampled version of this song isn’t too much of a leap from the original. Still though, to remake a song like this into a rap hit is pretty awesome.

“Sunshower” has been sampled by a handful of other artists as well, most recently by M.I.A. on her song “Sunshowers” on her 2005 album, Arular. Here, the original “Sunshower” provides the chorus, but the verses have taken quite a leap from the original song. Listen below:

Other artists such as Busta Rhymes, have taken the original song and chopped it up in traditional hip-hop fashion to create an entirely new composition that can still be recognized by the listener. Here is “Take it Off” from Busta’s E.L.E. (Extinction Level Event): The Final World Front.

Finally, A Tribe Called Quest sampled “Sunshower” back in 1990 on their song “Can I Kick It?” While the sample is used in a completely different way than in all of the previously mentioned songs, you can still pick it out. It’s very subtle, just a sound in the background that can be heard after the bass comes in, listen for it around the 22 second mark and up until a little after the drums come in. It comes in and out throughout the song. Just another way in which a sample can be used creatively.

For those interested, here is a video on how sampling is actually done. It seems like an abstract concept, but this guy does a pretty good job of breaking it down and showing how it works. He is conveniently using the song “Sunshower” by Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band which I’ve been talking about throughout this whole post, so this seemed like an appropriate time to share this video. He is using an ASR-10, a classic machine used for sampling.

So there you go. One sample being used in a number of different ways to make several original compositions. It’s cool to see how different producers can take the same sample and chop it up and flip it in a bunch of different ways to come up with an original composition.

Below I have featured “Ghost Showers” by Ghostface Killah, and “Can I Kick It?” by A Tribe Called Quest. Enjoy.

Ghostface Killah - Ghost Showers

A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It?

Loyal readers of the blog, who are legion  by the way, will remember our groundbreaking coverage of the attack last week that attracted all sorts of riff raff to this fine site.

Through some old-fashioned hustle (Dave’s google images search) and investigative ingenuity (my random gchat conversation with a coworker), we’ve uncovered the root cause of this tragic incident.

Love triangle.

Exhibit A:

That’s Travis and his owner. Little familiar, aren’t they? He seems a bit possessive.

Exhibit B:

Ahh, young love.

Here’s what happened. I submit the owner’s friend who came over that fateful day to help shepherd Travis back in the house had gotten a haircut that made her appear more like Busey. She may have also gotten teeth enhancements.

Travis had been wracked for years with heartache brought on by Busey dumping him all those years ago. Travis was a loving chimp, but a little possessive. He thought he saw the end of Busey the day he announced he was leaving Travis to work full time on “I’m with Busey.” To this day, only Travis and this man acknowledge the existence of this show.

Then, Travis thought he saw Busey that day and he pounced. His judgment clouded by a Xanax and red wine haze, he attacked some poor woman instead.

Also, I was looking for these clips yesterday to go with my random Clone High videos. No dice. Here’s the quotes:

“I first got the idea for Cloney Island after seeing the movie Jurassic Park 3. But my ill-conceived amusement park will be filled with human clones instead of zoo animals. It’s as fool-proof as the amusement park in the movie itself!” - Principal Scudworth

“Stamos! Damn him and his jet-black hair and award-winning smile! Oh I’m a failure! A failure! I start to dial, but I never call anyone back! You should see my car it’s a mess. I’m a mess. I go to the submarine sandwich restaurant and I leave my submarine sandwich restaurant value card at home, every time! All I want is a free sandwich. STAMOS!” - Scudworth

Mr. Butlertron: Shouldn’t you be saving some of this money for your secret plan instead of having me gold-plated and lowered?
Scudworth: Don’t get all up in my business, my hydraulically-outfitted friend. Why, I watched the first two-thirds of “MC Hammer: Behind the Music” and if there’s one thing I learned about money it’s that it never runs out!

Mr. B:

Lampin’ in their fresh pumas:

Olive Garden:

Some Gandhi for good measure:

And, of course, nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys:

Now that we have that out of the way, what happened to Cary Elwes (Westley in the PB, Maj. Forbes in Glory, and Robin in Men in Tights)?

Dread Pirate Roberts no longer, I’m afraid.

So, how transparent was that effort to just post lots of random Clone High clips?

Table of contents for Swedish Sundays

1. Swedish Sundays #1: I’m From Barcelona
2. Swedish Sundays #2: Jose González
3. Swedish Sundays #3: The Knife
4. Swedish Sundays #4: Lykke Li
5. Swedish Sundays #5: Hello Saferide
6. Swedish Sundays: First Aid Kit

More Swedes!  First Aid Kit are a Swedish duo of sisters who have garnered a bit of blog-fame (blame?) for their cover of the Fleet Foxes‘ “Tiger Mountain Pleasant Song.” These two precocious swedes are currently 18 and 15 years old, which is hard to believe given the maturity of their sound.  I suppose I have a soft spot for young-girls-whose-voices-and-lyrics-belie-their-real-ages, but these young ladies have developed a kind of old-soul, folksy sound that soothes the mind and soul.

They currently have one album out, the 7-track Drunken Trees, that features the sisters’ beautiful harmonies over sparse guitars and synths (that is, folksy synths, not that in-your-face 80s sound).  But, as is often the selling point for me, their lyrics are what keep me coming back for repeat listens.  There’s something especially heartbreaking about two teenage girls belting out lyrics like:

“He’s never there to be with you
And you remember when you were young
When life was new and it was fun
Now every corner’s filled with dust”

Maybe it isn’t the most powerful stanza you’ve ever read, but when it comes so heartfelt from the mouths of two girls who shouldn’t be old enough to talk about “when life was new and fun,” the sentiment seems to carry extra weight.

First Aid Kit - Cross Oceans

My sideburns were … off. Way off. And not like I shaved one too high. Or that idiot $7 barber down the street trimmed the front half of one off. The left one, if I may say so, looked awrite. I would describe it as lush and slightly shaggy. Righty, however, was lookin a lot more gray, a lot more sparse.

I panicked. Maybe it’s the combination of being addicted to House and lacking any medical training, but I came up with some pretty horrendous diagnoses.

- Perhaps I had been sleeping on my right side too much and that slowed the hair growth in the right ‘burn.

- Based on the orientation of my desk at work, the right sideburn gets a lot more natural and artificial light. Maybe that both slowed growth and lightened the color of the hair.

- Maybe I had some sort of chemical imbalance that was affecting hair growth on the right side of my head.

- Maybe I had a partial stroke and the hair follicles were paralyzed on that side.

- I had worn a baseball cap for the first time in a longgg while prior to this discovery. Maybe I’m allergic to the fabric.

So, naturally I checked WebMD.

“We’re sorry, your search for sideburn imbalance did not match any documents”

Damn.

Back to the bathroom. There, I noticed my clippers on the sink. And it all came back to me. I started shaving my head hours ago, got distracted by something, ended up watching The Last Samurai and Glory…

And had neglected to finish the left side of my dome. The story is all true, my sideburns are now created equal, but posting that Glory clip was definitely one of the main reasons I wanted to write this. It’s actually a good movie. Ridiculous cast. Matthew Broderick, Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington and the dude from the Princess Bride who has I think one line in this clip and it makes him look like a total d. Taking all this training stuff out of context makes it seem pretty insane though. Actually, I used to work with a guy who would reenact the bayonet training scene all the time.

Also, tunes!

Arcade Fire

Pinback

Anyways, I’ve solved that one question that has been hanging out there for eons, since the first troglodyte speared a woolly mammoth, drew a picture of it on a cave wall, invented fire and roasted that bitch. Since the first t-rex got bitten by a mosquito, cloned millions of years later, and then ate that lawyer off a toilet on an island off the shores of Costa Rica. Since the first hynerpeton said “screw the seas, I’ll take some beach-front property, thank you very much.” Since the first two single-celled organisms caught eachothers’ eyes across the primordial bar, gave eachother that awww yeah ’70s porn music look, met up at the evolutionary jukebox and said “lets do this, lets make our mitochondria into mitochondrion.”

Oh, yeah, that’s the evolution version. If you’re down with intelligent design, then this question has been hanging out there since around noon, last Tuesday, when the earth was created.

The question that has never had an answer: Is there anyone worse off than those “for 63 cents a day” kids in fill-in-the-blank third world country?

There may be nobody worse off, but some of those kids don’t have it so bad after all.

Also available here, but with more pretense. Also, how nervous does that kid look? It’s like he’s about to scream “AVALANCHE!” I mean, them slopes is steep.

So I guess the only people worse off than those kids are the ones who don’t get a taste.

First reaction is to say that’s a cheap PR stunt for SH. Second reaction is she’s on 30 Rock. Conclusion is she can do whatever the hell she wants, and the rest of us best enjoy it. And that kid, when he’s older, should be told how he as an infant made the entire American male population, and a fair number of lesbos, jealous with the humblest of suckles.

On Pringle’s MySpace page, she exclaims, “I’ll GarageBand yo’ fucking face!”  And damn, does she mean it.  A self-described GarageBand junkie, Pringle builds pulsating electronic creations that lay the foundation for some fucking great music.  It’s more musical poetry than straight music; most of her lyrics are spoken word, and she sporadically breaks into song, mostly for what qualifies as her choruses.

This 22 year old, avant garde songstress performs poetic monologues over her songs, with lines that read like what she might have written at 3am, inebriated, after a party that didn’t go at all like she planned.  Like a stream-of-consciousness journal entry, with all the exposed emotions of a broken-hearted girl, but with the maturity and wit of a much older soul.

I first discovered her randomly on RCRDLBL, and downloaded her tracks on a whim.  I ended up giving them a better listen late at night, and found myself entranced by her words.  Between the dark truth of her words and the eerie arrangments of her electronic foundations, her songs are deeply affecting, sometimes frighteningly so.  Like X-Files meets Jack Kerouac.  But that doesn’t do it justice.

Or maybe it’s just absurd.  Maybe the driving electronica simply diverts attention from the inanity of her poetry, of breathless lines like:

“I started drinking more and keeping unusual hours. I started playing Street Fighter II, until my eyes felt like they were going to drop out of my head and then I’d get enraged by the fact I was never going to be good enough to play Hyper Mode and Blanka was always going to be stronger than Chun Li.”

But I think she’s onto something much bigger.  I think the all-too-real slices of life she uses to paint her canvas tell a deeper story.  I think that when she sings “I haven’t a heart to break, so I’m off to hibernate,” I so desperately want to believe her, want to believe that she believes herself.  Mostly, I just want to hear more.

George Pringle - I’m Very Scared Buster, Yes At Last