Don't Step in the Poop

6 Reasons Why the Law of Attraction May Not Be Working for You

Carlon — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:08:44 +0000

So, you’ve tried using the Law of Attraction and it’s not working. Well, don’t fear. The DSP Law of Attraction experts are here to give you 6 reasons why the Law of Attraction might not be working in your life.

1. You’re doing it wrong

So, you’ve watched “The Secret”. You’ve read all about the Law of Attraction and how scientific it is. You done all your visualizing and asking the universe for stuff you want. But you just can’t seem to “manifest” anything. Well, in that case, the answer is simple. You’re doing it wrong. A little internet search will show you how you didn’t learn about the “real Law of Attraction” or “the Secret Behind the Secret”. So you see? It’s not like the Law of Gravity where it works the same for everybody. No, the Law of Attraction only works if you know how to do it it right. You still have a lot to learn before you’ll ever do it “right”.

2. You’re not trying hard enough

So, they told you to believe and the Universe will give it to you. But the Universe isn’t manifesting it to you? Well, you must not be believing hard enough. You’ve got to REALLY believe for it to work. Even if you have .00000000000000000000001% doubt, the Universe isn’t going to give you jack.

With a lazy attitude like that, it’s no wonder the Universe didn’t manifest you that new jacket! I wouldn’t manifest one for you either with such a lack of effort on your part.

3. You’re just too negative

Yep. By being too negative you brought it all on yourself. Oh, you might think the Law of Attraction is not working, but it IS working. It’s getting all those negative thoughts and kicking your ass with them. It’s like Rhonda Byrne, Author of “The Secret” said when asked about people killed n the Holocaust or 9-11:

“The energy and life of each of us has always been and will always be. In a large-scale tragedy, like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, etc., we see that the law of attraction responds to people being at the wrong place at the wrong time because their dominant thoughts were on the same frequency of such events.”

In case you didn’t figure that out, it means negative thoughts caused people to be in the wrong place and killed them. Think about it. If being scared of people trying to kill you causes you to get killed, that’s the Law of Attraction in action. And it’s all because you’re a scared little negative twit. Think about it.

4. You’re not spending enough money on Law of Attraction books, training, or products.

If you really want the LOA to work for you, you need to show commitment. So go out there and spend more money on it. On Amazon, there are over 1,000 books with “Law of Attraction” in the title. And you think all these Law of Attraction coaches are out there helping people for free because they are manifesting winning lottery tickets all the time? Hell no. They need to earn a living. And if you’re too cheap to support the people teaching you about the Law of Attraction, then it’s quite obvious that you don’t deserve anything from the Universe.

5. The Universe doesn’t like you for some reason

We at DSP regret to inform you that it might be possible that the Universe just doesn’t like you for some reason. We’re sure the Universe has a good reason for it. I mean, we like you. We think you’re swell. But the Universe can be a real jerk sometimes.

We hope you don’t take it personally. The Universe kills hundreds of thousands of people just for kicks. But don’t forget, in the end it’s all your fault. As Rhonda Byrne says, if the universe kicks your ass it’s because your

“dominant thoughts and feelings were in alignment with the energy of fear, separation, powerlessness and having no control over outside circumstances, then that is what they attracted”.

6. There is no law of attraction

Well, we hate to have to mention this one, but let’s just put it out there. The Law of Attraction may not be working for you because THERE IS NO LAW OF ATTRACTION.

What? No Law of Attraction?

Well, think of it this way. Every year, Santa Claus doesn’t bring me a gift. Is it because:

a) I don’t believe enough in Santa

b) there is no Santa?

Hey, we do love Santa here at DSP. But we’re not going to pin our Christmas hopes on him. Because there is no Santa.

So are we saying that someone made this Law of Attraction all up? Yeah. Probably. People make stuff up all the time. And just because we’d like to believe it’s true (Hi again, Santa) doesn’t mean that it is.

Besides, if there were a Law of Attraction, that would mean that negative thinking is what causes all the bad things that happen in the world–floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc. And frankly, that’s ridiculous. We’re all for suspending disbelief sometimes, but seriously are you willing to tell kids in Darfur that negative thinking is causing their starvation just so you can cling to the hope that the Universe will manifest you a new jacket?Similar Posts:

Twitter Weekly Roundup for 2010-09-04

Carlon — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:16:00 +0000

flat on my back all day in pain..just getting worse #
RT @tweetmeme A Disturbing Trend in Internet Marketing http://bit.ly/d6i1ei #
I'd like to thank all those bots that retweeted by latest post about the Law of Attraction http://bit.ly/bEW1OH #lawofattraction #
Macbook Pro or iMac + iPad combo? And ALL of them is not an option. #
Tomorrow's the day I decide whether to switch to Mac for my laptop #
OMG…just got an email saying I could get $10.5 million as next of kin of some guy and the lawyer in Nigeria will split the money with me! #
RT @cracked: Some good late night reading : What Your Condom Choice Says About You – http://bit.ly/9ZP1Ar #
Thinking of buying a macbook pro #

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Keep Your Goals to Yourself!

Carlon — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 05:17:48 +0000

An interesting thing those pesky scientists do is challenge conventioanl wisdom. I found this TED talk by Derek Sivers that challenges the conventional wisdom if telling people your goals so they can hold you accountable. In my personal experience, I learned that I had a better chance of getting something done by keeping my mouth shut. I quit smoking that way! It felt much better announcing that I had quit rather than telling people I was going to quit. Now, at least science has something to say on the matter. Here’s the video..take the 3 minutes or so and think about keeping your next goal a big secret!

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Law of Attraction Questions and Answers

Carlon — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:49:24 +0000

I read a pretty good article that featured questions and answers about the Law of Attraction . As I was reading it, I wondered why no one ever bothered to ask me these questions.

So, I thought I should. Here are the DSP essential Law of Attraction answers. Feel free to compare my answers to the others’.

“I’m just one person. How can I change the state of the world through the Law of Attraction?”
You can’t. There is no “law of attraction.” But you can get off your butt and go do something about it. Instead of visualizing a better world, go make it better. You don’t need to even do it on a large scale. All those “do things big” people make everything seem impossible. Start small. Buy a stranger lunch. It doesn’t matter. Your actions, small as they may be, can make a huge difference to someone else.

“My spouse says that the Law of Attraction is just wishful thinking. How do I get him to stop throwing negative remarks at me? Is it just wishful thinking?”

Your spouse is right. You should start by telling your spouse “thank you” for pointing out the obvious. Also ask your spouse what that big ball in the sky is called. You should also buy a nice gift for your spouse. Because while you’ve been visualizing stuff, your spouse has probably been doing a lot of things you never even paid attention to because you were too wrapped up in your own thoughts trying to manifest a new jacket or something.

And, yes, it is wishful thinking.

“I’ve made many mistakes in my lifetime. I don’t feel that I deserve a good life. What can I do to live the Law of Attraction when I feel this way?”

Think about this question very hard. Do you “deserve” a good life? Do you “not deserve” aa good life? What kind of question is that? So what if you’ve screwed up in the past. Did you kill someone? Did you set your house on fire? Most things you regret are going to be pretty small in the grand scheme of things. Luckily, 99% of your mistakes are fixable. You hurt people? Go tell them your sorry. You wreck someone else’s car? Go buy them a new one. Can’t afford it? Go get a second job and pay for it.

No one “deserves” anything. The way you treat others will determine what kind of life you have. Whining about your mistakes and doing nothing to fix them won’t do squat…and, no,visualizing that someone is OK isn’t going to make them OK.

Oh, if you were expecting me to say what a great human being you are, then you are wrong. I don’t even know you. But I’ll tell you this: people are never as bad or as great as they think they are.

“Why is it so important to not think about the past in the Law of Attraction?”

Because if you think about the past, you’ll realize that it doesn’t work. If you only think about the future, it is much harder to critically evaluate the ‘Idea of the Law of Attraction”. And once your critical thinking skills kick in, that’s all she wrote.

So, it’s important not to think about the past.

“Can I lose weight through the Law of Attraction?”

If by that you mean, you spend all your time visualizing yourself being skinnier while riding an exercise bike instead of eating all that high calorie food, then yes YOU CAN.

If you think positive thoughts will make you lose weight, then you’re living in a dream world. Go to the gym. Exercise. And eat fewer calories.

That’s all that were in the article. If you’d like to answer any other questions you have about the Law of Attraction, go to my About page and send me an email, or leave a comment.

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Twitter Weekly Roundup for 2010-08-28

Carlon — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 15:16:00 +0000

RT @cracked: Check out 20 Hilarious Movies That Take a Minute (Total) to Watch! http://bit.ly/bkDrO7 #
RT @Voyager2: Voyager1 is 15 hrs 50 mins 30 secs of light-travel time from Earth #
RT @Rippleon: Drinking in my back yard w/ tiki torches seems especially awesome. #
RT @miraclady: THE SECRET – How’s that workin’ for ya? http://bit.ly/9YNmiB..you're not doing it right:) #

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Law of Attraction Parenting

Carlon — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 02:49:14 +0000

Get the Book: “The Secret” to Raising Kids: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Kids into such Heroic Figures That Your Neighbors Will Tremble as You Walk Down The Street Because You are Such a Kickass Parent

Raising kids is tough. I know. And even if you don’t have kids, you can go into any family restaurant and listen to the shrieks of children and just imagine how hard it must be for those parents.

I pulled out all my hair trying to raise my kid.

I was frustrated. My kid wouldn’t listen to me. I thought my kid’s future was ruined and it was all my fault!

I felt like a failure.

But that was before I discovered “The Secret”.

When I read the first page, raising my kids became a SNAP. I used the Power of my Positive Thoughts to transform my little monster into an angel.

And now I want to share that “Secret” with you. You’ve probably read a ton of Law of Attraction books. But this is the only one that can teach you how to use the Law of Attraction to raise your kids.

Throw Dr. Spock away.

Those “What to Expect” books?

Full of negative thoughts with all that talk of kids getting sick, vaccines, and all that nonsense.

Seriously. Throw those books away. They filled me full of negative thoughts about how my kids might get sick and not develop properly.

Who needs that kind of negativity?

Well, now you don’t need to. Read my book, “The Secret” to Raising Kids: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Kids into such Heroic Figures That Your Neighbors Will Tremble as You Walk Down The Street Because You are Such a Kickass Parent.”

Stop feeling guilty. I’ve got ALL the answers for you.

In this book, you will get the solution to all the problems parents face. Here’s a taste:

Potty training: with the power of positive thinking, your kid’s poo is going down the loo. Just ignore those stinky diapers and ask the universe to will your kid to the toilet. But you’ve got to REALLY believe it. If you start letting the stench get to you, you’ll get all negative. Just sit back. Watch a 48-hour NCIS marathon as the universe takes care of dirty diapers forever.

College: Ask the universe to send your kid to Harvard. Bad grades? No problem. The Universe will give your kids the edge they need. They don’t need to do homework. No need to even go to school. Harvard will manifest itself somehow.

Peer Pressure: Are the spawn of “negative thinkers” trying to fill your kid with negative thoughts? Just ask the Universe to “take care of” those kids. There can’t be any “peer pressure” if there are no peers to speak of, if you catch my drift.

Smoking, alcohol, drugs and other bad stuff: Just believe that the universe will make those things disappear by the time your kids gets old enough. If your kid is old enough, ask the universe to make them temporarily invisible whenever your kid gets around it. No need to talk about such negative things. If you talk about drugs, drugs will find a way to manifest itself to your kid.

Sex: Every parent dreads talking about this. But now, you don’t have to. Ask the universe to talk to your kids FOR you. The Universe can explain it better anyway. Heck, the universe invented this stuff—not you. It’s not called the “Law of Attraction” for nothing! Why should YOU be responsible for what the universe does? That is, unless you had some negative thoughts—in that case the universe has no responsibility to help you. But the fact is: Just ask and believe that the universe will impart this knowledge without you.

These are just the tip of the iceberg. You’ve just entered the Age of Positive Parenting. And I am your humble guru. All you have to do is be positive. Let the universe take care of all the bad stuff that’ll happen to your kids.

Get “The Secret” to Raising Kids: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Kids into such Heroic Figures That Your Neighbors Will Tremble as You Walk Down The Street Because You are Such a Kickass Parent.”TODAY.*

*the link is to donate so that I won’t actually write a book like this. Consider all the people you’d help by not allowing such crap into the bookstores. Think about it.Similar Posts:

Should You Be Taking Economic Advice from Motivational Speakers?

Carlon — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 05:24:39 +0000

First my show fails, next up--the economy!

I thought Tony Robbins was a motivational speaker. But lo and behold I realized that he is now an expert on the economy. I watched a startling video he made warning of economic disaster up ahead.

He says a whole lot of things about it. And he really got me thinking about something really hard: why am I listening to Tony Robbins talk about the economy?

But listen I did.

Here’s how I break down his warning:

You, see I’ve got this friend. And I can’t tell you who he is, but trust me–he exists because I say he exists. And he’s really really smart with money. And he, not me, thinks the economy is going to collapse. Oh course, I’m not an expert on the economy. But this one time at band camp..I mean in March….I tweeted about the economy doing bad. And I was right that week! And the thing is I hardly ever tweet, just go to my twitter page and you’ll see that I tweet less than 100 times a day! Anyway, so when I’m, I mean my friend, is wrong don’t blame me. So, look for a bunch of stuff with the economy and then make up your own mind because I wouldn’t want to be held responsible if I’m wrong. Well, gotta go. These economic times are so tough that I’m flying to Fiji.

That’s about it in a nutshell. Of course, Tony isn’t as hilarious as I am. But for fairness, you can watch his videos on this page. I hate to even link to them, but hey I’m fair.

But here’s the bigger point: when did anyone start taking economic advice from motivational speakers? I mean the only advice they ever give is for you to get out your credit cards and buy their stuff. YES! YES! YES!

Who knows? Tony might be right about the economy. I know there’s a larger and larger amount of people out there predicting economic collapse. It’s kind of a popular thing to do right now. And it’s a growing niche of potential customers.

Where does Tony stand?

I have no idea. But if he comes out with a new product that caters to the economic disaster niche (e.g. How to protect Your Unlimited power in the Bad Economy)…just know you heard it here first.

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5 Sequels to Bestselling Self-help Books

Carlon — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 04:20:38 +0000

Everyone knows the best way to make a lot of money with self-help is to write a self-help book. So, I’ve been considering writing a self-help book. But I can’t come up with any ideas. So, then it hit me. Why don’t I write the “sequel” to an existing bestseller. I can be like that guy who writes, “The Secret for Teens”, except I won’t ask anyone for permission.

I know most of these writers end up writing their own sequels, but I intend to beat them to the punch and RAKE In the cash for myself. Here are 5 ideas I have:

The 9^th Habit: Write a book, and then write the same book over and over again (Sequel to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and the 8^th Habit)

This book takes you through the process of essentially writing one book over and over again and then teaches you how to get people to think it is different.

Secrets of the Billionaire Mind

So, you bought that book about the secrets of the millionaire mind? Well, you wasted your money. Billionaires think so differently from millionaires that if yuo try to be a millionaire, you’ll NEVER be a billionaire. in fact, millionaires are losers because they typically don’t buy cool stuff like yachts, castles, and islands. But billionaires do! This book teaches you how to think like a billionaire. The choice is clear: buy this book and buy a castle or buy other books and live in a hut.

Chicken Soup for the Person Who’s Sick of all The Chicken Soup Books

Inspirational stories of people who did well in their lives despite their deep hatred of all things Chicken Soup.

Think and Grow a Spine

A book for all those cowards who are too much of a wimp to buy Think and Grow Rich because the only reason they’re poor is because they didn’t read the book. And they didn’t read the book because they’re just too chickenshit to buy the book. This book will give them that courage.

The Secret for Infants

Surround your baby with positive thoughts AT ALL TIMES so your bundle of joy will stay that way. Buy the companion audio CD & DVD to play around the clock so as not to interrupt the positiveness for a single second. Failure to do so will turn your kid into a sniveling whiner who grows up to be a big loser because of his negative thoughts.Similar Posts:

Twitter Weekly Roundup for 2010-08-21

Carlon — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 15:16:00 +0000

RT @HeyHealy: Optimizing WordPress Page Titles, Titles and Slugs: http://www.wolf-howl.com/seo/seo-wordpress-titles-posts-filenames-slugs/ #
RT @heyhealy Perpetual Students, Perpetual Debt http://bit.ly/9urQQc #
DSP keyword of the day "slaty droid": don't know about the Slaty Droid, but if you're looking for the Salty Droid..http://bit.ly/coxHkO #
Happy birthday, Hannah & Bro! #
Am I the only guy in South Korea who doesn't play online games?: http://wapo.st/bS7Und #
When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist–Why am I finding Glee so entertaining? #

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The Douche

Carlon — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:16:29 +0000

What’s funny is that there really are people like this around. But a real douche would not have done the folowing:

1. Admitted their true background

D-bags always lie about where they’re from and go on about the “adversity” they suffered.

2. Admitted their true motivation

In the video, The Douche admits he wants to have sex with middle-aged women. A real douche never says that. For example, d-bags who sell get-rich-quick stuff say they do it out of the kindness of their hearts–not to make money. What bull!

The fact that Dylan McDermott is doing this is AWESOME. I am hoping he will play the role of Sham Scammerschmidt in the DSP movie, “The Age of The Secret: People Live Forever and Everyone Wins the Lottery”

The Douche from Dylan McDermott

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