Doodles of a crazy man!

ಹೀಗೊಂದು ಹಾರರ್ ಕಥೆ

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 14 Aug 2013 14:49:00 +0000

ಅದೊಂದು ಊರಾಚೆ ಇರೋ ಸ್ಮಶಾನ. ನಿರ್ಜನ ಪ್ರದೇಶದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದುದರಿಂದಲೋ ಏನೋ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಯಾರೂ ಸುಳಿದಾಡುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಇದ್ದ ಕಟ್ಟುಕತೆಗಳೂ ಏನೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿ ಇರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ಅಮಾವಾಸ್ಯೆಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ಹಾದುಹೋದವರು ಒಂದು ವಾರದೊಳಗೆ ರಕ್ತ ಕಾರಿಕೊಂಡು ಸಾಯ್ತಾರಂತೆ, ಅಲ್ಲಿನ ಹುಣಸೆಮರಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹುಣಸೆಹಣ್ಣು ಬಿಡೋದು ನಿಂತು ವರ್ಷಗಳೇ ಆಗಿದೆಯಂತೆ ಹೀಗೆ...ಅದು ನಿಜವೋ ಸುಳ್ಳೋ ಅಂತ ಪರೀಕ್ಷಿಸೋ ಧೈರ್ಯ ಯಾರಿಗಿದ್ದೀತು? ಪಾಪ ಆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕಾದರೂ ಅಷ್ಟೇ, ಆ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಸತ್ತವರನ್ನು ಹೂಳಲು ತಂದಾಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ಜನರ ದರ್ಶನದ ಭಾಗ್ಯ!

ಅವನು ಹುಟ್ಟಾ ಹುಂಬ. "ನಿನ್ ಕೈಲಿ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಬಿಡು" ಅಂತ ಅವನ ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಹೇಳಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೋ ಏನೋ ಅವನ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಆ ಆಲೋಚನೆ ಹೊಕ್ಕಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು. ಚಿಕ್ಕ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಬೇರೆ, ಬಿಸಿ ರಕ್ತ. ಏನಾದರಾಗಲೀ ನೋಡೇಬಿಡೋಣ ಅಂತ ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿ ಆ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಒಬ್ಬನೇ ಸ್ಮಶಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗುವುದೆಂದು ನಿರ್ಧರಿಸಿಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದ. ಆಸೆಗಿಂತ ಭಯ ದೊಡ್ಡದು, ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ದೊಡ್ಡದು ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಕುತೂಹಲ. ನೆತ್ತಿಯ ಮೇಲಿನ ಸೂರ್ಯನನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ, ಇವನು ಮುಳುಗಲು ಇನ್ನೂ ಎಷ್ಟು ಹೊತ್ತು ಅಂತ ಚಡಪಡಿಸತೊಡಗಿದ.

ಮಧ್ಯರಾತ್ರಿಯ ಸಮಯ. ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಸುಳಿವು ಕೊಡದೆ ಸ್ಮಶಾನದೆಡೆಗೆ ಹೊರಟವನ ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಿದ್ದು ಬರೀ ಹುಮ್ಮಸ್ಸು. ಕೊಂಚವೂ ಭಯವಿಲ್ಲದ ಈ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ ಅಸಹಜವಾ ಅಂತ ತನಗೆ ತಾನೇ ಕೇಳಿಕೊಂಡ. ಭಯ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಸೋ ತಾಕತ್ತಿರುವುದು ಭ್ರಮೆಗೆ ಮಾತ್ರ. ಆಗ ಮಾತ್ರ ತಂಗಾಳಿಯ ಸುಂಯ್ ಗುಡುವಿಕೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರೇತಗೀತೆ ಕೇಳಿಸಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯ. ಮಂಜಿನ ಮಬ್ಬಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಮೋಹಿನಿಯ ರೂಪ ಕಾಣಬಹುದು ಅಂದುಕೊಂಡ. ತಾನು ಬೇರೆ ಯಾವುದೋ ಕಾರಣದಿಂದ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ವಾರದಲ್ಲಿ ಸತ್ತು ಹೋದರೆ ಊರವರ ಕಟ್ಟುಕತೆಗೆ ಹೊಸ ಅಧ್ಯಾಯ ಸಿಕ್ಕಂತಾಗುತ್ತದೆ ಅನಿಸಿ ನಕ್ಕ.

ತಕ್ಷಣವೇ ಯಾರು ಸರಿದಂತಾಯಿತು. ಬೆನ್ನ ಹುರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣ ನಡುಕ. ದೆವ್ವಭೂತಗಳ ಕಥೆಗಳಿಂದ ಹುಟ್ಟಿದ ಭಯವಲ್ಲ ಅದು, ಅದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಆಳವಾದೆದ್ದೆನೋ ಅನಿಸತೊಡಗಿತು. ಮನಸ್ಸು ಬೇಡವೆನ್ನುತಿದ್ದರೂ ಕಾಲುಗಳು ಆ ಆಕೃತಿ ನಡೆದ ಕಡೆ ಹೊರಟುಬಿಟ್ಟಿದ್ದವು. ಏದುಸಿರು ಬಿಡುತ್ತಾ ಹಿಂಬಾಲಿಸಿದ ಅವನು ಆ ಆಕೃತಿಯನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಬೆಚ್ಚಿಬಿದ್ದ.

ಅವನ ಎದುರು ಒಬ್ಬ ಮನುಷ್ಯ ನಿಂತಿದ್ದ!

Still Alive

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 12:36:00 +0000

I have been so irregular on the blog, that I have even lost the right to use the word "sporadic". I dont see that changing soon.

However, I have been writing in Kannada, about films, for the online magazine "Panju". If you can read Kannada and are interested in films, you can read my articles here.
http://www.panjumagazine.com/?category_name=%E0%B2%B8%E0%B2%BF%E0%B2%A8%E0%B2%BF-%E0%B2%B2%E0%B3%8B%E0%B2%95

I am pretty active on Facebook (addicted to unhealthy levels, according to some) so feel free to get connected with me there.
https://www.facebook.com/vasuki.raghavan

So long, blog!

The Walk

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 04 May 2013 11:33:00 +0000

I always loved taking leisurely walks here. In spite of being a busy street, the sidewalk is wide and well maintained. The street is lined with big, old trees that takes care of the scorching summer. Walking is always therapeutic, it helps me gather my thoughts and calms me down.

It took me a while to realize that nowadays I had suddenly started walking briskly at one point in the street. When I wondered why I was doing that, I realized it was because of this old beggar woman. No, she was not annoying or shouting like the organized beggars mafia you encounter nowadays at traffic signals. I can handle them easily. This lady did not annoy the pedestrians or shout loudly to grab attention.

This lady was anything but that. The first day I saw her, I took out a few coins out of my wallet, not even bothering to count, and gave it to her. The next time I was in a hurry and I just walked past her pretending to have not seen her. After that, its either one of these two reactions from me, every time I walk there. At times, I have wondered if I should give her a 10 or 20 rupee note, but have not got around to doing that. I have also felt like buying lunch for her, but I am terrified of listening to her voice or even getting to know when was the last time she had eaten.

If you ask me to describe her, I would fail. She wears this faded green saree, she could be the face of any old woman. In fact, I have never had a proper look at her face. Drop the coins and run, has been my mantra. I am scared of looking closely. What if her face resembles my granny's? I am scared, if her silent gaze asks me this tough question - How could you eat the yummy Corn Jalapeno sandwich while I sat on this pavement? I get back to office, wear my headphone, get immersed in work and push her to some remote corner of my mind.

I sometimes wish that the next time I walk on that street, she is not there!

My New Video: Parents Nan Makklu

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 04:05:00 +0000

No blog posts from quite sometime, no videos recorded in a long long time. How to address both the issues? Record a video and share that on blog! Pretty good idea, no?

Kill Bill 2 - Mock Review - Sandalwood ishtyle

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 16 Nov 2012 13:22:00 +0000

The quality of reviews for Kannada films in newspapers is abysmal. They say the same things week after week - doing unfunny puns, saying politically correct things and making sure no new perspective is offered even by accident. Here is my mock review of "Kill Bill 2" using the same 'template'!

ಈ ವಾರ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆಯಾಗಿರುವ ಚಿತ್ರ 'ಕಿಲ್ ಬಿಲ್ 2' ಒಂದು ಉತ್ತಮ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ. ಕಲಾತ್ಮಕ ಅಂಶಗಳನ್ನು ಇಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡೇ ಒಂದು ಮನರಂಜನಾತ್ಮಕ ಮಾಸ್ ಚಿತ್ರ ಕೊಡಬಹುದೆಂಬುದಕ್ಕೆ ಇದು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯ ಉದಾಹರಣೆ. ನಮ್ಮ ಹಾಲಿವುಡ್ ಯಾವ ಸ್ಯಾಂಡಲ್‌ವುಡ್ ಗೂ ಕಮ್ಮಿ ಎನ್ನುವಷ್ಟು ರಿಚ್ ಆಗಿ ಚಿತ್ರ ಮೂಡಿ ಬಂದಿದೆ, ಇಷ್ಟು ಆದ್ಧೂರಿಯಾಗಿ ಚಿತ್ರ ಬಂದಿರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ನಿರ್ಮಾಪಕರನ್ನು ಅಭಿನಂದಿಸಲೇ ಬೇಕು.

ಕಥೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಾಧಾರಣ. ನಾಯಕಿಯನ್ನು ಕೊಲ್ಲಲು ಅವಳ ಗುಂಪಿನವರು ವಿಫಲರಾಗುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಅವರೆಲ್ಲರ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಕೆ ಸೇಡು ತೀರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದೇ ಕಥೆಯ ತಿರುಳು. ನಿರ್ದೇಶಕ ಟಾರನ್‌ಟೀನೊ ಬಹಳ ಜಾಣ್ಮೆಯಿಂದ ಈ ಸೇಡಿನ ಕಥಾನಕವನ್ನು ಹೆಣೆದಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಚ್ಯಾಪ್ಟರ್ಸ್ ಮೂಲಕ ನಿರೂಪಿಸುವ ರೀತಿ ನಿಮಗೆ ಶಾಲೆಯ ನೆನೆಪು ತರಿಸದಿದ್ದರೆ ಕೇಳಿ! ಮೊದಲ ದೃಶ್ಯದಿಂದ ಕೊನೆಯವರೆಗೂ ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಬಿಗಿಯಾಗಿ ಹಿಡಿದಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಳುತ್ತದೆ, ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ನೋಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಹೋಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇಡೀ ತಂಡದಿಂದ ನಿರ್ದೇಶಕರು ಒಳ್ಳೇ ಕೆಲಸವನ್ನು ತೆಗೆಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ.

ನಾಯಕಿಯಾಗಿ ಉಮಾ ತುರಿಮಣೆ ಅಭಿನಯ ವಾಹ್ ವಾಹ್. ಕೆಲವು ಸಲ ನಮ್ಮ ಮಾಲಾಶ್ರೀ ನೆನಪಿಗೆ ಬಂದರೂ ಬರಬಹುದು. ಆ ಮೈಕಟ್ಟು, ಆ ಅಂಗಸೌಷ್ಟವ, ಅಭಿನಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಚತುರತೆ ಆಕೆಯ ಪ್ರಬುದ್ಧತೆಯನ್ನು ಸಾರುತ್ತದೆ, ಆಕೆಯೇ ಚಿತ್ರದ ಜೀವಾಳ. ಪಲ್ಪ್ ಫಿಕ್ಶನ್ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಣಿದು ಕುಪ್ಪಳಿಸಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಮನಸ್ಸು ಸೂರೆಗೊಂಡಿದ್ದ ಉಮಾ ತಾನು ಕುಣಿತಕ್ಕೂ ಸೈ ಹೊಡೆದಾಟಕ್ಕೂ ಸೈ ಎಂದು ನಿರೂಪಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಆಕೆಯ ಫೈವ್-ಪಾಯಂಟ್ ಪಾಮ್ ಟೆಕ್ನೀಕ್ ಫೈಟ್ ಬಂದಾಗಲಂತೂ ಚಿತ್ರಮಂದಿರದ ತುಂಬಾ ಶಿಳ್ಳೆ, ಚಪ್ಪಾಳೆ, ಕೇಕೆ. ಹಿರಿಯ ನಟ ಬಿಲ್ ಕರಡೀನೆ ತೂಕದ ಅಭಿನಯ ನೀಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ಅವರ ಡೈಲಾಗ್ ಪ್ರೇಕ್ಷಕರ ಪಾಲಿಗೆ ಪಂಚಾಮೃತ. ಎಲ್ ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ಪಾತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಡೇರೈಲ್ ಹ್ಯಾನ ಪಡ್ಡೆಗಳ ನಿದ್ದೆ ಕೆಡಿಸುತ್ತರೆ. ಗ್ಲ್ಯಾಮರ್ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ನಮ್ಮ ಪಂಕಜ ಪದುಮರನ್ನು ಮೀರಿಸಿದರೂ, ಅಭಿನಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಪಳಗಬೇಕಿದೆ, ಹಾಗಾದರೆ ನಮ್ಮ ಚಿತ್ರರಂಗಕ್ಕೆ ಒಳ್ಳೇ ಪ್ರತಿಭೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಂತೆ.

ಪೋಷಕ ಪಾತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಮೈಕಲ್ ಮ್ಯಾಡಿಸನ್, ಗೋರ್ಡನ್ ಲಿಯೂ ಪಾತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ನ್ಯಾಯ ಒದಗಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ, ಕೊಟ್ಟ ಕಾಸಿಗೆ ಮೋಸ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಚಿತ್ರ ತಾಂತ್ರಿಕವಾಗಿಯೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮೂಡಿ ಬಂದಿದೆ. ಎರಡು ಹಾಡುಗಳು ಕೇಳುವಂತಿವೆ. ಛಾಯಾಗ್ರಹಣ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಹಬ್ಬ - ಚೀನಾ, ಸೆಂಟ್ರಲ್ ಅಮೇರಿಕ ಅನ್ನು ಸೆರೆಹಿಡಿದಿರುವ ರೀತಿ ಹ್ಯಾಟ್ಸ್ ಆಫ್. ಮೊದಲಾರ್ಧದಲ್ಲಿ ಇರುವ ವೇಗ ಆಮೇಲೆ ಮಾಯವಾಗಿದೆ, ಸಂಕಲನಕಾರರು ಕತ್ತರಿಯನ್ನು ಇನ್ನೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಬಳಸಬಹುದಿತ್ತು. ಆಕ್ಶನ್ ಚಿತ್ರ ಆದರೂ ಹಿಂಸೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಆಯಿತೇನೋ ಅನ್ನಿಸದಿರದು. ಹೆಂಗಸರು ಮಕ್ಕಳಿಗೆ ಚಿತ್ರ ಇಷ್ಟವಾಗುತ್ತಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ಗೆಳೆಯರ ಜೊತೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆ ನೋಡಿ ಬರಲು ಅಡ್ಡಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.

Mars & Venus

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 18:48:00 +0000

Shan was on his usual evening stroll by the river. He hated his full name - Shantanu! Knowing this, his friends used to teasingly call him King Shantanu, and it was not completely inaccurate as his ancestors belonged to the royal family.

This was not one of those regular days. He spotted a gorgeous woman in blue dress near the river shore. It was almost as if she blended into the river. Or was he hallucinating? He observed himself being dragged near her as he felt unsure of what to say to her. The woman had a radiating smile, as if she half expected him to approach her.
"Hi, I am Shan", he smiled and stretched his hand.
"Hi, I am Ganga", she shook his hand. The grip was unusually firm, for a woman who looked that delicate.
"Like the river, huh?", he smiled.
"Mm, hmm. Like the river", she said as the radiating smile acquired a tinge of mischief.
"You from around?", he asked.
"You can say that. I was not born here. But I am here right now. Who knows about tomorrow?". The mystery added to her allure.

They walked along the river shore, talking, smiling and holding hands. Nobody knows for how long. How do you actually measure time - in the units called 'seconds' or in terms of 'intense million moments'? Finally, Shan summoned up the courage to ask her hand in marriage. "I can be difficult. I am not demanding. I dont like jewelry, I dont care for your money or your royal lineage. I just love YOU. All I ask for in return, is my freedom - to live the way I want to. Even the slightest threat to that, I am gone" she said with a serious look in her eyes. Shan, madly in love, gleefully agreed to her condition.

They got married and moved to his palatial bungalow. Shan showered her with gifts and his love. Had Ganga asked for the moon - which she did not, Shan would have arranged for a space mission. To say that they lived happily would be an understatement. They dined out together, went for exotic vacations, laughed and talked about every topic under the sun. Their love life was great too! One fine day, Ganga broke the news that she was pregnant. Shan's joys knew no bounds. Ganga was ecstatic, she loved kids too. Or so he thought!

The first crack appeared in their relationship when Shan came to know that Ganga had got her pregnancy terminated. She seemed calm, as if nothing had happened. Shan was devastated, he wanted to confront her. But he remembered the condition, and keep silent. He did not want to lose her. It was in fact, her idea to have kids. He tried to be 'understanding' and thought of finding out what Ganga really wanted.

Years passed, the gap widened. Silence and mistrust seemed to engulf the bungalow that was once filled with laughter. Shan had endured six more of such incidents. This was the last straw on the donkey's back.

One evening, Shan and Ganga went for a stroll to the riverside.
"What is it that you are unhappy about, Ganga?", Shan asked abruptly.
"Who said I am unhappy?", Ganga retorted, while being as calm as the evening.
"But, why? Er, I mean, you have changed so much, its as if I dont know you", Shan was at a loss for words.
"Hmm", she smiled a knowing smile, "I knew this day would come. When I would walk away, and you would not even stop me. Would you stop me if I walked away now?", she started walking towards the river, without even waiting for an answer.
Shan stood paralyzed, feeling numb, unable to react.

"Idiotic female. I gave her EVERYTHING. But she got hung up on ONE thing", a terribly hurt Shan muttered to himself.
"Stupid man! I demanded NOTHING. He could not give me the only ONE thing I asked", thought a disappointed Ganga, as she disappeared from Shan's vision.

Anartha Kosha

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 20:42:00 +0000

I finished reading the delightful "Anartha Kosha" by Na Kasturi. Its a 'one of its kind' book in Kannada. Though it seems to resemble Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary", Kasturi adds more flavors to the book - by making puns with existing words, coining new words sounding like existing words, merging two Kannada words to form a new word, merging Kannada word with an English word, twisting the proverbs etc. - to hilarious effect. Go read the full book, till then here is the list of my favorite ones from the book:

ಅಕಟಕಟಾ - ನಾವು ಹೀಗೆ ರೋಧಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ ತಮಿಳರು ಅಯ್ಯೋ ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಿದರು.

ಅಚ್ಚಾತುರ್ಯ - ಅಚ್ಚು ಮಾಡುವಾಗಿನ ಚಾತುರ್ಯ, ಬರಹಗಾರರು ಮಾಡುವ ತಪ್ಪುಗಳನ್ನು ಸರಿಪಡಿಸುವ ಜಾಣತನ; ಮೊಳೆ ಜೋಡಿಸುವುದರಿಂದ ಹೊಸ ಭಾಷಾ ಪ್ರಯೋಗಗಳನ್ನು ರಚಿಸುವ ಚಮತ್ಕಾರ.

ಅಣುಕಂಪ - ಒಂದು ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಅಣು ಬಾಂಬು ಸಿಡಿದಾಗ ನೆರೆಯೂರುಗಳಲ್ಲಾಗುವ ಸಂತಾಪ.

ಅತಿಯಾಸೆ - ನಮಗಿಂತ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಲಾಭ ಗಳಿಸಲು ಪ್ರಯತ್ನಪಡುವವರ ದುರ್ಗುಣ.

ಅತ್ತೆ - ಈಕೆಗೆ ಮೀಸೆ ಬಂದರೆ, ಚಿಕ್ಕಪ್ಪ ಎಂದು ಕರೆಯಬಹುದು - ಮರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ.

ಅನುಕಾರಣ - ಒಂದು ಕಾರಿನ ಹಿಂದೆ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಕಾರು ಹೋಗುವಿಕೆ.

ಅಪ್ಪರ್ಕ್ರಿಯೆ - ಮೇಲುಲೋಕವನ್ನು ಸಾಧಿಸಲು ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾದ ಕ್ರಿಯೆ.

ಅಶ್ವಶಕ್ತಿ - ಎರಡೂವರೆ ಸೇರು ಹುರಳಿ.

ಅಸಹ್ಯಾದ್ರಿ - ಕಸಡಗುಡ್ಡೆ. ಏರಲು ತ್ರಾಸ ಕೊಡುವ ಬೆಟ್ಟ.

ಆ - ಹಲ್ಲು ವೈದ್ಯರ ಬೀಜಾಮಂತ್ರ.

ಆಟಿಗೆ - ವಿರಾಮ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದಾಗ, ನಾವು ಆಡುವುದಕ್ಕಾಗಿ, ಮಕ್ಕಳ ಹೆಸರು ಹೇಳಿ, ನಾವು ಕೊಂಡು ತಂದು ಇರಿಸಿರುವ ಆಟದ ಸಾಮಾನುಗಳು.

ಆತ್ಮಘೋಷ - ಕಾಕ ಕಾಕ ಎಂದು ತನ್ನ ಹೆಸರನ್ನೇ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಂಡು ತಿರುಗುವ ಕಾಗೆ.

ಆನೆ ಹಾಲು - ಇದನ್ನು ಸೇವಿಸಿದರೆ ವಾರಕ್ಕೊಮ್ಮೆ ಮೈಯಭಾರ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತು ಪೌಂಡಿನಂತೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚುತ್ತ ಹೋಗುವುದಂತೆ...ಆನೆ ಮರಿಗೆ.

ಆರಾಮ - ಆ ರಾಮನಿಗೆ ಇದು ದುರ್ಲಭವಾಗಿತ್ತಾದರೂ ನಮಗೆ ಇದು ಈಗಲೂ ಎಂದಿಗೂ ಬೇಕು.

ಆರ್ಯಪುತ್ರ - ಸೀತೆ, ಸಾವಿತ್ರಿ ಮುಂತಾದ ಪತಿವ್ರತೆಯರು ಗಂಡನನ್ನು 'ಮಾವನ ಮಗನೆ' ಎಂದು ಕೂಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದರಂತೆ.

ಆಸಾಮಿ - ಅಸಾಮ್ ರಾಜ್ಯದ ನಿವಾಸಿಗಳೂ ಒಂದು ಬಗೆಯ ಆಸಾಮಿಗಳೇ.

ಇಗ್ನೇಶ್ವರ - ತನ್ನ ಹೆಸರಿನ ಉಚ್ಚಾರಣೆಗೆ ಒದಗುವ ವಿಘ್ನಗಳನ್ನು ನಿವಾರಿಸಲಾಗದ ಒಂದು ದೇವತೆ.

ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ - ಮುಂದಕ್ಕೆ ಬರೆಯಲು ಬುಧ್ಧಿ ಓಡದಿದ್ದರೆ, ಈ ಪದವನ್ನುಪಯೋಗಿಸಿ ಬಚಾವಾಗಬಹುದು.

ಇದು - ಭಾಷನಕಾರರ ಆಸರೆ; ಇದು ಮಾಡಲು ಇದೇ ಇಲ್ಲದೇ ಹೋದರೆ, ಅವರು ಇದು ಇದು ಎಂದು ಬಹಳ ಇದು ಇದಾಗಿ ಮಾಡಬಹುದಾಗಿದೆ.

ಇಷ್ಟಾವಕ್ರ - ಮನಬಂದಂತೆ ಮೈಯ್ಯನ್ನು ಬಗ್ಗಿಸಬಲ್ಲ ನೃತ್ಯಕುಶಲಿ, ಸರ್ಕಸ್ ತರುಣ.

ಇವತ್ತು - ನಾಳೆ ಏನಪ್ಪಾ ಗತಿ ಎಂದು ನೆನ್ನೆ ಪೇಚಾಡಿದ್ದೆವಲ್ಲಾ, ಆ ನಾಳೆ.

ಇಂದುಮತಿ - ಇವತ್ತಿನ ಬುಧ್ಧಿಯ ಮಟ್ಟ.

ಈಚಮನ - ಈಚಲಮರದಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತು ಕುಡಿಯುವುದು.

ಈಜಾನುಬಾಹು - ಈಜುವುದಕ್ಕನುಕೂಲವಾಗುವಷ್ಟು, ಉದ್ದವಾದ ಬಾಹುಗಳನ್ನುಳ್ಳವನು.

ಉತ್ತರಕ್ರಿಯೆ - ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಉತ್ತರ ಬರೆಯುವ ಕೆಲಸ.

ಉತ್ತರಾಯಣ - ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆಯ ಋತು, ಮಾರ್ಚಿ ತಿಂಗಳಿಂದ ಜೂನ್ ವರೆಗೆ.

ಉದರ - ಉದರನಿಮಿತ್ತಮ್ ಬಹುಕೃತ ರೇಷನ್.

ಊರ್ವಶೀ - ಊರನ್ನು ವಶೀಕರಿಸುವವಳು.

ಊಳಿಡುವುದು - ರಾತ್ರಿ ಹೊತ್ತು ನಾಯಿ ಊಳಿಟ್ಟರೆ, ಸಾವಿನ ಸೂಚನೆ ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ, ಆ ನಾಯಿಯನ್ನು ಎದುರು ಮನೆಯವರು ಕಲ್ಲು ಹೊಡೆದು ಸಾಯಿಸುವ ಸಂಭವ ಇದೆ.

ಋಷೀಕೇಶ - ದಾಡಿ.

ಎಳೆನೀರು - ಎಳೆ ವಯಸ್ಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ತೆಂಗಿನ ಸಸಿಗೆ ನಾವು ಎರೆದ ನೀರು.

ಐಲು - ಬ್ರಿಟಿಷ್ ಐಲುಗಳು ಎಂಬುದನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸಿ.

ಒಣಮಾಲಿ - ಒಣಗಿದ ಮಾಲೆಯನ್ನು ಧರಿಸುವವ, ಭಾಷಣ ಕೊಡಲು ಹೊತ್ತು ಮೀರಿ ಬಂದವ.

ಅಂದ್ರೆ - ಆಕೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಈತನಿಗೆ ಇಂದ್ರಲೋಕ (ಗಾದೆ)

ಕನವರಸೇಷನ್ - ಇಂಗ್ಲೀಷಿನಲ್ಲೂ ಇದೇ ಮಾತಿದೆ.

ಕರಡಿ - ಶಿವಪೂಜೆಯನ್ನು ಕೆಡಿಸಲು ಶಿವದ್ವೇಷಿಗಳು ಒಳನೂಕುವ ಪ್ರಾಣಿ.

ಕಲಿಯುಗ - ವಿದ್ಯಾರ್ಥಿ ದೆಸೆ, ಕಲಿಯುವ ಕಾಲ.

ಕಲೋಪವಾಸಕ - ಕಾಲಾಜೀವನಕ್ಕೆ ಬಿದ್ದು ಉಪವಾಸ ಅನುಭವಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವ ನತದೃಷ್ಟ.

ಕವರು - ಬಿಲ್ಲುಗಳನ್ನಿರಿಸುವ ಬತ್ತಳಿಕೆ.

ಕಾಪ್ಯಾಯಮಾನ - ಕಾಪಿ ಕುಡಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಉಂಟಾಗುವ ಅಪ್ಯಾಯಮಾನ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿ.

ಕಾಮಗಾರಿ - ವಿಟಲೀಲೆ.

ಕಾಳಿದಾಸ - ಇವತ್ತು ಈತ ಬದುಕಿದ್ದರೆ, ಈತನ ಖ್ಯಾತಿ ಜಗತ್ತೆಲ್ಲ ವ್ಯಾಪಿಸುವುದು; ಏಕೆಂದರೆ, ಈತನಿಗೆ ಸುಮಾರು ಸಾವಿರದೈನೂರು ವರ್ಷ ವಯಸ್ಸಾಗಿರುತ್ತಿತ್ತು.

ಕಿಕ್ಕಿರಿದು - ಒದ್ದು...ಬೀಳಿಸಿ...ಅನಂತರ...ಇರಿದು.

ಕಿವುಡ - ವಾಕ್ಚಿತ್ರಗಳನ್ನು ಮೂಕಚಿತ್ರಗಳಂತೆ ನೋಡುವ ಪುಣ್ಯವಂತ.

ಕಿಂಸ್ತ್ರೀ - ಕಿಂಪುರುಷನ ಮಡದಿ.

ಕೀಳುನೋಟ - ಯಾರಿಂದ ಏನನ್ನು ಕಿತ್ತುಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ ಎಂದು ಹುಡುಕುವ ಕಣ್ಣು.

ಕುಗ್ರಾಮ - ಎರಡು ಮೈಲಿ ಸುತ್ತ ಯಾವ ಸಿನಿಮಾ ಮಂದಿರವೂ ಇಲ್ಲದ ಹಳ್ಳಿ.

ಕುದುರೆ - ಇದನ್ನು ಬರೆಯುವಾಗ ಎರಡು ಕೊಂಬುಗಳನ್ನು ಸೇರಿಸಲೇಬೇಕು.

ಕೆಸರು - ಹೆಸರು ಕೆಡಿಸಲು ಉಪಯೋಗವಾಗುವ ಪದಾರ್ಥ.

ಕೊಂಡಾಡು - ಕೊಂಡ ಮೇಲೆ ದೂಷಿಸು.

ಕೌಮಾರ - ಹಸುವನ್ನು ಕೊಲ್ಲುವವ.

ಖುದಾಸೀನ - ದೇವರಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಎಂದು ಉದಾಸೀನವಾಗಿ ಕುಳಿತಿರುವುದು.

ಗಜಗಮನೆ - ಒಂದೊಂದು ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೂ ಒಂದೊಂದು ಗಜ ದೂರ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಇಡುವ ಹೆಂಗಸು.

ಗಜದ್ಗುರು - ಆನೆ, ಒಂಟೆ ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ ಪ್ರಾಣಿಗಳನ್ನು ಪಡೆದು ಮೆರೆಯುವವ.

ಗಂಡಾಂತರ - ವಿವಾಹವಿಚ್ಛೇದನ, ಹೆಂಗಸಿನ ದೃಷ್ಟಿಯಿಂದ.

ಗಲ್ಲಿ - ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ಆಟಗಾರರಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವಾರು ಓಡಾಡುವ ಜಾಗ.

ಗುಡಿಸಲು - ಗುಡಿಸಲು ಜಾಗವಿಲ್ಲದ ಸ್ಥಳ.

ಗೃಹಸ್ಪತಿ - ಜಾಣತನದಿಂದ ಗೃಹಸ್ಥ ಜೀವನವನ್ನು ನಡೆಸುವವ.

ಚತುರಾನನ - ಮುಖ ನೋಡಿದರೆ ಈತ ಜಾಣ ಎಂಬ ತಪ್ಪು ಭಾವನೆಯನ್ನುಂಟು ಮಾಡುವವ.

ಚರಣಾಗತ - ಕಾಲಿಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದವ.

ಚಾಳೀಸ್ - ತಿಂಗಳಿಗೆ ನಲವತ್ತು ರೂಪಾಯಿಗೆ ಮೇಲ್ಪಟ್ಟು ಸಂಬಳ ಬರುವವರಿಗೆಲ್ಲಾ ತಗಲುವ ಒಂದು ತೆರನ ದೃಷ್ಟಿಮಾಂದ್ಯ; ಹಿರಿಯಕ್ಕನ ಚಾಳೀಸ ಮನೆಮಂದಿಗೆಲ್ಲ.

ಚಿತ್ರಹಿಂಸೆ - ಸಿನಿಮಾ ನೋಡುವವರಿಗಾಗುವ ಹಿಂಸೆ.

ಚಿರಋಣಿ - ಸಾಲವನ್ನು ಕೊಟ್ಟು ತೀರಿಸದವನು.

ಚೀರುವುದು - ಚೀರ್ಸ್ ಕೂಗುವುದು.

ಜುಟ್ಠಾಳ - ಕ್ರಾಪ್ ಮಾಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿರುವವ.

ತಟಸ್ಥ - ನದೀಸ್ನಾನಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂದು ನೀರಿಗೆ ಇಳಿಯಲೋ ಬೇಡವೋ ಎಂದು ಅನುಮಾನಿಸುವವ.

ತಾಳಿ - ತಾಳಿ ಕಟ್ಟಬೇಕೋ, ಬೇಡವೋ, ಎಂಬ ನಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಗೆ, ನಮ್ಮ ಉತ್ತರವೂ ಇದೇ, ತಾಳಿ.

ಥತ್ವ - ಅಸಹ್ಯತನ.

ದಡ್ಡರು - ಗಂಡಸರ ಸರಿಸಮಾನ ನಾವು ಎಂದು ತಮ್ಮ ಹಿರಿಮೆಯನ್ನು ತಗ್ಗಿಸಿ ವಾದಿಸುವ ಹೆಂಗಸರು.

ದಂಡಪ್ರಾಣಾಮ - ಅನುಗ್ರಹ ಲಭಿಸದೆ ಮಾಡಿದ ನಮಸ್ಕಾರ.

ದನಧಾನ್ಯ - ತವುಡು.

ದಂಪತಿ - ದಮ್ಮಿರುವ ಪತಿ; ಸಿಂಪತಿಗೆ ಕಾರಣರು.

ದಾವಾಗ್ನಿ - ಕೋರ್ಟು ಕಛೇರಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಓಡಾಡುವಾಗ ತಟ್ಟುವ ಬಿಸಿ.

ದುರುಗುಟ್ಟು - ಏಕೆ ದುರುದುರನೆ ನೋಡುತ್ತಿದಾನೆ ಎಂಬುದೇ ಗುಟ್ಟು.

ಧೀರ - ಧೈರ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಧೈರ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲದವ.

ನಾರಿ - ನಾರಿ ಮುನಿದರೆ ಮಾರಿ ಎನ್ನುತ್ತೇವೆ; ಆದರೆ ಕೊಂಡುಕೊಳ್ಳೋರು ಯಾರು?

ನಾಶೀರ್ವಾದ - ಶಾಪ.

ನ್ಯೂಪುರ - ನಗರದ ಹೊಸ ಬಡಾವಣೆ.

ಪಕ್ಕಸಾಲಿಗ - ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲೇ ಮನೆಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡು, ಸದಾ ಸಾಲ ಕೇಳುವವ.

ಪತಿ - ದಂಪತಿಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ದ೦ ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡವನು.

ಪತಿಬಿಂಬ - ಗಂಡನ ಫೋಟೊ.

ಪರಶುರಾಮಕ್ಷೇತ್ರ - ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಜನ ಸದಾ 'ಕೊಡಲಿ', 'ಕೊಡಲಿ' ಎಂದು ಕೂಗುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತಾರೆ.

ಪಿತೃಪಕ್ಷ - ಗಂಡಹೆಂಡಿರ ಜಗಳದಲ್ಲಿ ತಂದೆಯ ಪಕ್ಷ ವಹಿಸುವ ಮಗು.

ಪುಸ್ತಕ - ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಜ್ಞಾಪಕಶಕ್ತಿಯನ್ನು ಕುಗ್ಗಿಸಲು ನಮ್ಮ ಹಿರಿಯರು ಕಂಡುಹಿಡಿದಿರುವ ಉಪಾಯ.

ಪೂರ್ವಶಿ - ಬಡತನಕ್ಕೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಬೆಲೆವೆಣ್ಣು.

ಬಂದರು - ಸಮುದ್ರದ ಮೇಲೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದವರು ಬಂದರು ಎನ್ನಿಸುವ ಜಾಗ.

ಬಂಧು - ಬಂದುಂಡು ಹೋಗದವ.

ಬಿಲೋತ್ತಮೆ - ಹೆಗ್ಗಣ ಸ್ತ್ರೀ.

ಬೂತಚೇಷ್ಟೆ - ಪೋಲಿಂಗ್ ಬೂತ್ ಸುತ್ತ ಹುರಿಯಾಳುಗಳು ಮಾಡುವ ಚೇಷ್ಟೆ.

ಬೇತಾಳ - ರಾಗಜ್ಞಾನವಿದ್ದರೂ ಕೆಲವು ಸಂಗೀತಗಾರರಿಗೆ ತಾಳಜ್ಞಾನವೇ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.

ಬೋನಸ್ - ಹಿಡಿದ ಸಂಬಳವನ್ನು ಹಿಂದಕ್ಕೆ ಕೊಡುವ ನೀತಿ.

ಭಸಾಕಂಪ - ಸಭಾಕಂಪಾದಿಂದ ಹೀಗಾಗುವುದುಂಟು.

ಭಾವಜೀವಿ - ಅಕ್ಕನ ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದು ಕಾಲೇಜು ವ್ಯಾಸಂಗ ನಡೆಸುವ ಹುಡುಗ.

ಮಂತ್ರಿ - ನಾವು ಇನ್ನೂ ಚನ್ನಾಗಿ ಮಾಡಬಲ್ಲ ಕೆಲಸ ಕಾರ್ಯಗಳನ್ನು, ನಮಗಿಂತ ಅಸಮರ್ಪಕವಾಗಿ ಮಾಡಲು, ನಾವು ಚುನಾಯಿಸುವ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿ.

ಮದ್ಯಪಾನಿ - ನೀರು ಬೆರೆಸಿದ ಹೆಂಡ.

ಮರ್ದನಾರೀಶ್ವರ - ಸತಿಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೈಮಾಡುವ ಪತಿ.

ಮನಸ್ಕರಿಸು - ಮನಸಾ ನಮಸ್ಕರಿಸು.

ಮನಸ್ಸಾಕ್ಷಿ - ಮಾಡದ ತಪ್ಪನ್ನು ಮಾಡಬೇಕಾಗಿತ್ತು ಎಂದೆನಿಸುವ ಒಳಮನಸ್ಸು.

ಮಹಾರಾಯ - ಮಾಡಿಬಡಿಸಿದ್ದನ್ನು, ಮರುಮಾತಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಉಣ್ಣುವವ.

ಮಹಾತ್ಮರು - ಮಹಾತ್ಮರು ಯಾವ ದೇಶದಲ್ಲೂ ಇದುವರೆಗೂ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಲ್ಲ; ಹುಟ್ಟುವುದೆಲ್ಲಾ ಶಿಶುಗಳೇ.

ಮಳೆ - ಅತೀ ಎತ್ತರದ ಜಲಪಾತ.

ಮೀನ ಮೇಷ - ಮೀನು ತಿನ್ನಲೋ, ಮೇಷ ತಿನ್ನಲೋ, ಎಂಬ ಚರ್ಚೆ.

ಮುದ್ರಾಕ್ಷಾಸರ - ಮುದ್ರಾರಾಕ್ಷಸನ ಪ್ರಭಾವದಿಂದ ಅವನ ಹೆಸರನ್ನು ಮುದ್ರಿಸಹೊರಟಾಗಲೂ ಹೀಗೆ ಬೀಳುತ್ತದೆ.

ಮೂರ್ಖ - ನಮ್ಮ ಅಭಿಪ್ರಾಯಗಳನ್ನು ತಪ್ಪೆಂದು ವಾದಿಸುವವ.

ಮೃತ್ಯು - ಮೃತ್ಯುಂಜಯ ಎಂದು ಹೆಸರಿಟ್ಟು, ಆ ಮಗುವನ್ನು ಮುದ್ದಾಗಿ ಕರೆಯುವ ರೀತಿ.

ಮೆಡಲು - ಇದನ್ನು ಮತ್ತೊಬ್ಬರ ಎದೆಗೆ ಚುಚ್ಚಿದಾಗ, ನಮ್ಮ ಎದೆ ಚುರ್ರೆನ್ನುತ್ತದೆ.

ಮೈಥುನಾಲಜಿ - 'ಮೈಥಾಲಜಿ'ಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇದೇ ಮುಖ್ಯ.

ರ - ಆಸು ನೀಗಿದ ಅಸುರ.

ರಜದಮಹೋತ್ಸವ - ಶಾಲಾ ಹುಡುಗರಿಗೆ.

ರಿಕ್ಷ - ಅಂತರಿಕ್ಷದ ಕೊನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಣುವುದು.

ರೋಗಾಸನ - ಹಾಸಿಗೆ.

ಲಂಗ - ಕಾಲಸ್ಥಿತಿಯನ್ನು ತಿಳಿಸುವ ಒಂದು ಉಪಕರಣ.

ಲಂಗಲಗಾಮು - ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ಹತೋಟಿ.

ಲಘುವಂಶ - ಕಳಪೆ ಕುಲ.

ಲವರವಿಕೆ - ಸಣ್ಣ ಕುಪ್ಪಸ.

ಲಾವಣ್ಯ - ಉಪ್ಪು ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿರುವಿಕೆ.

ವಸಂತ - ಕವಿಗಳಿಗೆ ಹುಚ್ಚು ಬರುವ ಕಾಲ.

ವಾಕರಿಕೆ - ಕೆಲವರ ವಾಕ್ ಕೇಳುವಾಗ ಆಗುವ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯೆ.

ವೀರಾವೇಷ - ಸೈನಿಕನ ಸಮವಸ್ತ್ರ.

ಶನಿಕಾಟ - ನಮಗೆ ಬರುವ ಕಷ್ಟಗಳೆಲ್ಲ ನಮ್ಮ ದೋಷದಿಂದಲ್ಲ, ಎಂದು ನಾವು ಸಮಾಧಾನಪಡೆಯಲು ಇದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇರಬೇಕು.

ಶನೀಶ್ವರ - ರಾಮೇಶ್ವರಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋದಾಗ, ಅಲ್ಲೂ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಪೀಡಿಸುವ ಪೂಜಾರಿಗಳು.

ಷಾರ್ಪನಖಿ - ಚೂಪಾದ ಉಗುರು ಹೊಂದಿರುವ ಹೆಣ್ಣು.

ಷೀಯಾಳಿಸಿ - ಹೀಯಾಳಿಸಿ ಎಂಬುದರ ಸ್ತ್ರೀಲಿಂಗ.

ಸತ್ಯನಾರಾಯಣಪೂಜೆ - ಸಾವಿರ ಸುಳ್ಳು ಹೇಳಿ, ಒಂದು ಸತ್ಯನಾರಾಯಣ ಪೂಜೆ ಮಾಡು; ಆದುವರೆಗೂ ಎಣಿಸುತ್ತಾ ಹೋಗು.

ಸದ್ದು - ಸದ್ದನ್ನಡಗಿಸಲು ಜನ, ಸದ್ದು ಸದ್ದು, ಎಂದು ಸದ್ದು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾರೆ.

ಸಮಯಸ್ಪೂರ್ತಿ - ಸ್ನಾನದ ಮನೆಯೊಳಗೆ ನುಗ್ಗಿದಾಗ, ಅಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಮಹಿಳೆಯನ್ನು ಕಾಣುತ್ತಲೂ, ಹೊರಕ್ಕೆ ಧಾವಿಸುತ್ತ, ಕ್ಷಮಿಸಿ ರಾಯರೆ, ಎಂದು ಹೇಳುವುದು.

ಸಲಹೆ - ಪ್ರಪಂಚದಲ್ಲಿ ಅತೀ ಅಗ್ಗದ ವಸ್ತು; ಸಲಹೆ ಕೊಡಲು ಹೋಗಬೇಡಿ. ಇದೇ ನಮ್ಮ ಸಲಹೆ.

ಸಾಲಂಕೃತ - ಕನ್ಯಾದಾನಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲ ಸಾಲಂಕೃತವಾಗಿಯೇ ಮಾಡುವ ಪದ್ಧತಿ.

ಸುಸ್ತಾದ್ - ಹೇಳಿಕೊಟ್ಟು ಹೇಳಿಕೊಟ್ಟು ಸುಸ್ತಾದ ಪೈಲ್ವಾನ, ಅಥವಾ, ಗುರು.

ಸೂಟು - ಸೂಟಾಗದಿದ್ದರೂ ಅನೇಕರು ಧರಿಸಿ ಮೆರೆಯುವ ವಸ್ತ್ರ ವಿಶೇಷ.

ಸೂತ್ರ-ಧಾರ - ಎರಡೂ ಒಂದೇ.

ಸ್ವಗತ - ನಾಟಕದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬರನ್ನುಳಿದು ಮಿಕ್ಕೆಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಕೇಳಿಸುವಂತೆ ಕೂಗಬೇಕಾದ ಮಾತು.

ಸ್ವತಂತ್ರವಿಚಾರ - ಮದುವೆಯಾಗದವನ ಯೊಚನೆಗಳು.

ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥಿ - ಉಳಿದವರ ಸ್ವಾರ್ಥಕ್ಕೆ ಗಮನಕೊಡದವ.

ಹಣಹೀನ - 'ಹಣವಾನ್ ಗುಣವಾನ್ ಲೋಕೇ ಹನಹೀನೋ ಹೆಣಾಧಮಃ'

ಹತ್ತಿರ- ಹತ್ತಿರ, ಎಂದರೆ ಎಷ್ಟು ಮೈಲಿ ದೂರ, ಎಂಬುದು ಇನ್ನೂ ನಿರ್ಧಾರವಾಗಿಲ್ಲ.

ಹನುಮಾನ - ಸೀತೆಯೇ, ಮಾಂಡೋದರಿಯೇ, ಎಂಬ ಕಪಿ ಸಂದೇಹ.

ಹರಿಹರ - ಒಬ್ಬ ಕನ್ನಡ ಕವಿ, ತುಂಬಾ ರಗಳೆ ಮಾಡಿದವನು.

ಹಲ್ಲುಪುಡಿ - ಹಲ್ಲನ್ನೇ ಪುಡಿಮಾಡಿ ಮಾರುವವರು ಬಹಳ ಕಡಿಮೆ, ಜಗತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲಿ.

ಹಾರನ್ - ಹಾ! ರನ್! ಎಂದು ಕೂಗಿ ಹೇಳುವ ಒಂದು ಉಪಕರಣ.

Temple Of Equality

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 03:29:00 +0000

All men are not created equal. To call this world unfair would be a gross understatement. Why am I privileged enough to have an opportunity to write a blog post, while somebody else is struggling to make ends meet? A person who never exercises might enjoy long lasting good health, while a young person might fall prey to a deadly disease?

Well, we don't have answers to all these and these things are not in our control either. But what about the things in our control? We discriminate against each other on every imaginable aspect.
"Oh you belong to this caste?"
"Come on, you have not visited Europe? Not even once? Seriously?"
"You like Justin Bieber?" (trying to keep a straight face)
"Most of the #### language people are generally ####"

We judge. We discriminate. Its inherent to us, ingrained in us. The thing we should aspire for, is to consciously make an effort to think otherwise.

There is a pani puri shop in the road corner. Suresha is a legend for making the best pani puris in the locality. Ravish, who stays in the same neighborhood , is now a managing director in a big company. He remembers visiting this chaat center regularly with friends during his college days. His work life is so hectic nowadays, he does not remember the last time he ate here. In an impulsive decision which is so unlike him, he parks his brand new SUV, goes over to Suresha and orders for one pani puri, khaara medium. A swanky coffee shop's loss today is Suresha's gain.

At the same time, Nanjappa stops his old auto next to Ravish's SUV. He decides to eat something before going for his night drive. He orders one pani puri, khaara jaasti. Two strangers, who would never meet again in their life, share some silence and pani puri. As they finish their pani puris, they bend slightly and stretch their arms at Suresha with empty plates in hand and ask for some pani.

At that very instant, in some strange way, the world seems a much fairer place!

To Bangalore...

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 14:41:00 +0000

On the way from office to home...

A young Muslim woman wearing red stilettos beneath black burqa, crosses path with a middle aged uncle wearing formal pants and sports shoes.

A political party hoarding (with the mandatory faces of 50 supporters) wishing the citizens of a happy St.Mary's Feast and Ganesha Festival.

The trees decorated with cheap pamphlets that read "Web site and software development". The same trees that accommodated "Work Part Time/Full Time - SSLC/PUC/Degree - Pass/Fail" and "Lose Weight, Gain Weight in 30 days" not so long ago.

Three cobblers working tirelessly, right next to one of the biggest malls in India.

A brand new SUV and a rusty "No Parking" sign sharing a quiet moment, escaping the watchful eyes of "Police Maama".

Street dogs having a peaceful nap, blissfully oblivious of the chilly weather and the noisy vehicles.

A "40 p / 60 p" Xerox shop, sandwiched between an "A/C Multi-cuisine restaurant" and an amusingly named tea shop called "Cutting Chai +"

The delightful aroma of "dhoopa" from a temple nearby, effortlessly beaten by the delicacies of an Iyengar Bakery.

Me listening to Nitin Sawhney's "Moonrise" on my antique iPod, and my cab driver enjoying "Ammaate Ammaate" on FM Radio - both sharing silence and the same dusty ring road air.

Color. Life. Chaos. Madness. Variety. Contradictions. A thousand worlds co-existing.

Dear Bangalore - you amaze me, you frustrate me, you mesmerize me, you annoy me, you shock me, you seduce me.
But you will never ever bore me!

My new video: Muktha Muktha

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 18:37:00 +0000

If you happen to be a Kannadiga, the chances of "Muktha Muktha" being a part of your life somehow is inevitable. Though nowhere near T N Seetharam's previous creations, it is still the best Kannada serial by a long shot - and that explains why it is the opium of my dad's generation; to me, its something you end up watching while having dinner, and more importantly an opportunity to make a video :)

This is the first time I have recorded something at a professional setup. The recording was done at Janasri studios, and the entire team was so helpful and encouraging, they could not have made an amateur's first attempt any smoother. Thanks a lot folks!

My first video

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 14:40:00 +0000

Been meaning to record this from a long time. Upendra films and Hidden symbolism. This video is in Kannada, due to the nature of the content. Non-Kannadiga peoples, pliss excuse!

If you liked this, please send it to 15 people within 20 mins...or else...
If you dont like this, the blame should entirely go to my old Canon SD 400 camera.

Kannada Film Captions

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 09:12:00 +0000

I happened to see a poster of some Kannada film called "Uyyale" with the caption "the father feeling", also adding "ತಾಯಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ದೊಡ್ಡದು, ತಂದೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಕಾಣದು". I am amazed by the ever increasing dumbness of movie names and (most of the times irrelevant and unnecessary) captions. Instead of getting into a rant, I was amused by imagining what some classic world movies would have turned into, if they had fallen into the hands of these Kannada film industry folks.

Goodfellas

ಗ್ಯಾಂಗು, ಗನ್ನು, ಗರ್ಲ್ಸ್...ಹಾಗು ಗುಲ್ಡು ನನ್ ಮಕ್ಳು

Godfather
ಈ ಆಫರ್ ತಕೋ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಕಳಚ್ಕೋ

Inception
ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮು

Basic Instinct
ತೆರೆದಿದೆ ಮನೆ ಓ ಬಾ ಅತಿಥಿ

Y Tu Mama Tambien
ಏಯ್ ನಿಮ್ಮವ್ವನ್...

Pulp Fiction
ಮೊದಲ್ನೇ ಸಲ ದೇವ್ರಾಣೆ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಮಚ್ಚಾ

Schindlers List
ಸಾಯ್ಸೋನು ಸಣ್ಣವನು ದಯಾವಂತ ದೊಡ್ಡೋನು

12 Angry Men
ಕನ್ವಿನ್ಸ್ ಮಾಡ್ತೀರ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕನ್ವಿನ್ಸ್ ಆಗ್ತೀರ...?

Casablanca
ಪ್ಯಾರಿಸ್ ಲಿ ಪ್ರೇಮ...ಮೊರೊಕ್ಕೋ ಲಿ ಮಾನವೀಯತೆ...

Dial M For Murder
ಕಾಲ್ ಎತ್ತಿದರೆ ಖಲ್ಲಾಸ್ ಆಗೋಗ್ತೀಯ ಕಣೆ

The Silence of the Lambs
ಮೇಯೋ ಮೇಕೆಗೆ ಮಿರ್ಚಿ ಮಸಾಲೆ

Memento
ರುಚ್ಚಪಿ ಲ್ಟಉ ದುಇ

American History X
ಕುಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೀಳ್ಯಾವುದೋ ಹುಚ್ಚಪ್ಪಾ...

Reservoir Dogs
ಕಳ್ತನ ಮಾಡ್ತೀವಿ...ಆದ್ರೆ ಕಂತ್ರಿತನ ಸಹಿಸಲ್ಲ...

Singin In The Rain
ಮಳೆಯ ತನನನ...ಪ್ರೇಮ ಗಾಯನ...

Titanic
ಹಡಗೂ ನಿನ್ನದೇ...ಕಡಲೂ ನಿನ್ನದೇ...ಮುಳುಗದಿರಲಿ ಬದುಕು...

Gandhi
ರಾಹುಲ್ಲೂ ಅಲ್ಲ...ರಾಜೀವೂ ಅಲ್ಲ...

Cricket Cliches

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:29:00 +0000

It is quite funny reading the expert opinions and predictions leading to the World Cup.

Scene of the crime: Some sports channel
One of the experts starts off: “India are very strong contenders to win the World Cup. And don’t forget, South Africa, Sri Lanka and Australia can also fancy their chances. Pakistan and West Indies, though unpredictable, can topple any team on their day”. The commentator is not too different from all those TV astrologers we love to ridicule.

Some ex-cricketer joins the fun: “I agree India are a very strong side. Especially at home. The crowd will get behind the team and act as the 12th man. This encouragement should spur them up”

Another one (someone whose qualifications for being on the panel are unknown) disagrees: “Indian team has the expectation of a billion fans. They should make sure they don’t get pressurized. Since this is a long tournament, they should guard themselves against injuries” (I know there are more than a billion Indians, but I am excluding the smug ones who make statements like ‘You still follow cricket? I stopped watching in 2003 itself’)

The ex-cricketer begs to differ: “They are professionals. Pressure and injuries are part and parcel of the game. So it should not matter”

******

Meanwhile, Ravi Shastri will be thinking as to which of these should be the opening lines of the first presentation ceremony.
“Today we witnessed a spectacular game of cricket”
“What an absorbing day of play that has been”
“What a cracker of a match we had today”
“Ladies and gentlemen, today more than 650 runs were scored in front of this fantastic crowd”.

There will be plenty of “the last thing that India now needs is a run out”, “this is just what the doctor ordered”, “that went like a rocket to the fence”, “I just get the feeling he has been sold a dummy here” as well.

Arun Lal will be wondering which of his lines should qualify for the “most obvious statement of the year”:
“If you hit the ball over the ropes, you are bound to score 6 runs”.
“If you don’t lose wickets, keep ticking ones and twos, score boundaries of bad balls, you will eventually win the match”.
“When a throw hits the stumps, if you are outside the crease, you are gonna be declared run out my friend”

******

Commentators will prepare themselves of what they need to say based on the event and the result.
Event: Bowler keeps bowling wicket to wicket
Result: He dismisses the batsman
Comment: He hardly gave any width. He tied the batsman and made them do something different. And got his reward for his discipline.

Event: Bowler keeps bowling wicket to wicket
Result: He does not get a wicket, gives lot of runs
Comment: He was predictable and the batsmen cashed in once they got their eye in and got used to the pitch. Pathetic bowling, the bowler should have mixed it up!

Event: Bowler keeps experimenting
Result: He does not get a wicket, gives lot of runs
Comment:He tried too many things. He did not stick to a plan and did not bowl to his field. He should have bowled wicket to wicket.

Event: Batsman attacks from ball one
Result: He scores a quickfire century
Comment: He took the attack to the opposition and just went after the bowling. He never allowed them to settle and disrupted their plans.

Event: Batsman attacks from ball one
Result: Gets out early
Comment: That was pre-meditated. He should have got used to the pace of the pitch before he went on the offensive. Irresponsible batting that.

******

Not just these, there will be more. Even with so much crap around, I will read each and every article about cricket I stumble upon. When a match is on, I will refresh the cricinfo page before the auto refresh can kick in. I will run over to the office TV room to catch the glimpse of a wicket or the 100th run. I will try to get the latest score over my mobile at the traffic signal. Some things will never change. As I was telling a friend this week, the cricket loving youngster in you never quite grows up!

Rajasthan

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 08:37:00 +0000

We had a great vacation at Rajasthan last week. I will not be writing in detail about the places, since wikitravel does a better job at that. I will just jot down some of my experiences/thoughts during this trip.

***

The first thing that strikes you once you are in Rajasthan is the "color". Blood red, dark pink, bright yellow, vibrant hues of blue and green - you feel as though they finished playing holi just before you arrived. It seems the people here, with their dressing sense, art and music, more than compensate for the arid, barren, vast spaces of nothingness. It is one place in the world where you can wear the gaudiest Govinda dress without the fear of a fashion faux pas.

***

Color is very important to a Rajasthani. They have different colors for different occasions - the birth of a child, the mourning of a death, the ending of a mourning, for holi, for diwali. Innumerable types of turbans are worn, each distinctly representing the wearer's caste, sub caste, the region he belongs to etc. A trained eye can figure out a lot looking at a stranger's turban wearing style and color. Example, "Look at that Gujjar, looks like he just had a son" or "Looks like somebody died in that Banjara's house". Remember how we measured the resistors using color code? (B B Roy of Great Britain had a Very Good Wife)

***

The audio guides in most places were good - it was excellent in Mehrangarh fort, Jodhpur; good in Jaisalmer and Bikaner; the only exception being Amer fort in Jaipur. Though aimed mainly at international tourists, it was informative and done very professionally. The reason I said international is because a simple statement like "Rama blessed Hanuman" would become "Rama, an avatar of Vishnu, one of the principal Hindu Gods, blessed Hanuman, the monkey God". Got it right? Like some of you bloggers who write, "A sumptuous meal in Kamat would cost you just Rs. 110" without forgetting to add "approx. 2.683 USD, as on 13/12/2010*" in the brackets.

***

In Rajasthan, art is an integral part of life. Intricate paintings, delicate stone work, done with so much craft and finesse, make their presence feel everywhere. Go to any shop and you can hear the shopkeeper say - "This carpet work is fully hand woven, it takes 6 months to finish one piece" or "This 6X6 miniature painting takes 4 months". Intricate art was perhaps the early desert man's way of ensuring job security. You get orders for making 100 razaai or 200 paintings, and you have a secure job till retirement.

***

During our college days, we used to call our dear friend Avins as "onte" because of his height. Though the camels stand a few feet short compared to him, the tall, good natured, calm, composed, uncomplicated desert ships reminded me of him.

***

I have a big problem with Hindi speaking people interchangeably using "da" and "ra" (like "bari" and "badi" for big; "lori" and "lodi" for lullaby) Imagine my plight when we went to see "Saheliyon ki Baari" and the board read "Saheliyon ki Baadi". Even a half pervert mind would interpret it as getting physical with girlfriends. I am damn sure most North Indians will find it amusing when Laura Linney introduces herself. On a similar note, I am very scared of any Tamilian singing "Lambi judaai" :)

***

If you go to a restaurant in Rajasthan, dont ask "What do you have in dessert?" You may get the answer as "Sand dunes, camels,..." So adopt a safe approach and ask "What do you have in ice creams or milkshakes?"

Lingua Franca

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:50:00 +0000

Can you remember the first French word you had learnt? I can. Let me take a guess about you, was it "Bonjour", "Monsieur", "Mademoiselle", "Au Revoir"? If you say yes, I can safely assume that you were the novel-reading types and you must have read these in a dozen fiction novels where the protagonist travels all over Europe trying to escape from KGB, MI6, CIA or trying to uncover some deadly conspiracy against all odds. I am equally sure that you would have pronounced them in your mind like how you would pronounce an English word. Only later, you would have known that "Mademoiselle" sounds like "memmozee" or "au revoir" sounds like "avva".

If you were not the novel-reading types, in the post-cable-tv-pre-Internet era, there was only one way to get your basic French education - Fashion TV. You had to tolerate horrendously dressed zombies to catch a rare episode of Rio Carnival. I need not say that most of the times it was watched on Mute, so that the elders would not figure out the rate of erosion of Indian culture and values. It was then we came to know about "Michael Adam presents"...and then "Lingerie". And like our novel-reading siblings, we had assumed that it was pronounced the way it was written (only after many years, on one of the Non-mute occasions, we realized that it was pronounced something like "lawn-sje-ray". More weird the accent, more authentic your French is!)

On my way to Mysore (more than a decade after the first French education), imagine my joy when I see this on a wall. Somewhere in this world, even today, there are people who pronounce it the way I used to. Isn't it strange that we humans can relate to each other in the most unusual scenarios?

P.S: My most favorite word though is "Oui". I love the way the women say that in French movies!

UML Series - Vishishtadvaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 11:38:00 +0000

I always find it amusing to imagine Shankaracharya, Madhvacharya and Ramanujacharya standing forming a triangle inside a circular ground. Ennio Morricone score in the background. Slow long shots of each one, followed by close up of each of their eyes.

Then, Ramanujacharya mutters to Madhvacharya - "Seems like you are one entity short" (followed by guffaws from Ramanujacharya's followers in the background)

Silence for 30 secs. And Shankaracharya slowly tells Ramanujacharya - "Looks like you got two too many" (followed by eerie silence and then heavy duty music from Morricone)

So here it is, the last one in the series...

UML Series: Dvaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:19:00 +0000

A colleague of mine used to ask other colleagues whether they are "smart" or "mad". In case you have not guessed, it was her short form for Smartas and Madhvas!

Okay, Madhvas need not feel bad. Smartas have a bigger problem. Anyone returning from abroad with a fake accent will ask them "Are you smartas?" and it is an interesting way to stop people from acting oversmart ;)
So presenting the next one in the series: Dvaita...

UML Series: Advaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 13:09:00 +0000

I admit that my knowledge of UML as well as Hindu philosophy is very basic. So any discrepancy in terms of UML or philosophical concepts will not be totally unexpected. I am planning to do this series for different schools, here I am starting off with Advaita first.

Sibling Rivalry

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:25:00 +0000

Sanathkumara once asked the revered sage Sutha Mahamuni - “Oh knower of all knowledge, oh teller of great stories, can you please explain me in less than 4000 words as to when this ‘Sibling Rivalry’ started”.

Sutha Mahamuni cleared his throat, as he usually did before giving lengthy answers, a habit he had acquired by insisting on additional answer sheets during his exams in Gurukul.
“Oh Sanathkumar, the man who comes up with more questions than Siddarth Basu, the one who takes listening skills to different levels, listen. This sibling rivalry is existent from time immemorial. When Narada was telling Krishna the story, in which Samba Sadashiva answered a similar query from Nandi, this story was not told. Because I am making this story up for you. So please listen.”

Ganapathi and his brother Subrahmanya once had a dispute as to who was the elder of the two. The matter was referred to God Shiva for final decision. Shiva decided that whoever would make a tour of the whole world and come back first to the starting point had the right to be the elder. Subrahmanya flew off at once on his vehicle, the peacock, to make a circuit of the world. But the wise Ganapathi went, in loving worshipfulness, around His divine parents and asked for the prize of His victory.
God Shiva reckoned that Ganapathi should be declared winner because of his street smartness. Parvathi, like the dutiful wife that she is, disagreed completely. Who won in the end, nobody really knows. But, thats not the point here, the point here is that this is the first recorded sibling rivalry incident in all of Puranas.

“Hmm interesting”, quipped Sanathkumara, satisfied with the explanation.

“No no no, what is actually interesting is how the words ‘Sibling Rivalry’ is linked to this story”, Sutha Mahamuni said with a smug smile on his bearded face.

Before Sanathkumara could ask the obvious question, Sutha Mahamuni continued, “After this incident, Nandi started jokingly referring it to as ‘Kailasa Rivalry’. It also came to be known as ‘Shivling Rivalry’. And then, and then my friend, one day some Bengalis joined the Shivagana and started pronouncing it as ‘Sibling Rivalry’!”

Plogging

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:01:00 +0000

I am really surprised why no one has coined the term "Plogging" till now. In case you are wondering what the hell that is, it just means Parent-Blogging.

I am always surprised that, in my grandparents' generation having a dozen kids was the norm, that too when many had hand-to-mouth existence. My father jokingly tells that its because that was the only form of entertainment in those days. Some experts strongly believe that the late emergence of Plogging is the main reason for population explosion at that time. Imagine if a person had to blog about his half a dozen kids, he surely would not have the bandwidth (not the internet one!) to reach the dozen mark!

***

Since blogging itself is around a decade old, the average age of Momma/Pappa blogs would be around 5 years at the most. Many parent bloggers right now will be blogging about their first kid. Will they be as enthusiastic to blog about their second kid? More importantly,will the parents at some point stop writing posts about their children?

This could actually be a mommy blog post in the year 2030:
Control Systems Exam. Exhausted.
"My son has been studying for his 'Control Systems' exam all night. He is such a dedicated kid. I gave him cereals by missing my serials. Sleep Deprived. Gotta make Horlicks for him now. Laters. Bye".

3 comments:
wannabesupermom writes:
Wow. Great. You are a super mom. Your son is so lucky. Love...
from Internet Explorer 6, 5 minutes ago

regularvisitor writes:
Beautiful post. Wish him all the best.
from Firefox 3.6, 2 minutes ago

mommasboy writes:
Mummy, stop blogging. And get me Horlicks. Now!
from Blackberry, a second ago

***

Here are the technological innovations waiting to be explored:
As of today, you can either write the posts about all your children in the same blog or have a separate blog for each child. But, the future will be something like this.
There will be a single parent blog, like lets say http://kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com and auto tagging feature will create one dynamic pesudo blog per child. If you want to read the posts about all the children, you can go to the main site. If you want to read about a specific child, you would need to visit pseudo sites like say http://rama.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com, http://lakshmana.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com etc.

http://kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Rama's Enthroning. More details soon.
- Rama won Sita, take a bow. Rather, break a bow.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Bharatha always loves to wear Rama's shoes.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://rama.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Rama's Enthroning. More details soon.
- Rama won Sita, take a bow. Rather, break a bow.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://lakshmana.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://bharatha.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Bharatha always loves to wear Rama's shoes.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://shatrughna.kidzofbharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
Oops...no post. Looks like you lost your interest in blogging by the time this kid was born!

***

Parent blogs will be used in future to collect very important statistics:

The drop in blogging interest from first kid blog to the second kid blog.
The average age when the child will take its first step.
The most commonly uttered first words by children.
The effect of Horlicks on the marks obtained in 9th standard science test.
The health drink that kids drink before their "Control Systems" exam.
The impact of parents' posts on the self esteem of the child.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No adult, parent or child ego was hurt in the writing of this post.

Complicated Affiliations

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:44:00 +0000

I saw this at the MG Road - Brigade Road Junction.

He is the president of "Karnataka Tamil Bhasha Kannadigara Sangha". Can it get any complicated than this?

P.S: For some weird reason, the image is not displayed in blog, but is appearing properly in RSS Reader and Email. Here is the link to the image:

Nobody commented that they are not able to see the image. It means no one is visiting my blog now or everyone has switched to RSS / Email subscription!

What Exactly Bothered You?

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:04:00 +0000

I am amazed by the display of naivete by people, their naivete so deeply conditioned that it ceases to be artificial. These people are very well aware of the reality, but when you show them some proof to confirm that, they are aghast and shocked. What the hell am I ranting about? I am talking about "The curious case of N D Tiwari"! To be honest, when I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Not because there was something funny in his achievements, but the way people reacted to it. So I am trying to understand what exactly bothered them?

A Governor was doing 'it'? ('It' upsets more people than lets say, if he was taking a bribe of crores of rupees from those 3 women)
A Governor was doing 'it'? (Come on seriously, are we not taught in schools that politicians work for people and poverty is dropping like Walmart prices?)
A Governor was caught doing it? (What is revealed is always only the tip of the iceberg. Just imagine the uncaught! Is it the "envy, envy" at work here?)
A Governor was caught doing it in Raj Bhavan? (The media is proficient in math, they come up with some numbers and say its a humongous waste of tax payers' money. Honestly, are you, the common man, upset that you are unwillingly donating a few paisas for the cause?)
The Governor was 86 years old. (Dammit, 9 out of 10 cant lift themselves up. Again, "envy envy", is that the feeling?)
The Governor was with 3 women. (Imagine that classic scene from "Once upon a time in the west" - 'Guess we are 1 horse short...no, its two too many'...Haah!)
The Governor was with girls a third of his age. (Remember reading this in a couple of places, as if the reporter would have no problems if they were septuagenarians!)
The ladies were call girls [Not sure, remembering reading somewhere. Correct me if I am wrong!] (How dare you Mr. Governor, we would have really stood by you if the ladies were educated, from respectables families and filed their income tax returns every year!)

Seriously, what exactly bothered you? :)

Goa

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:02:00 +0000

Goa is perhaps my most favorite vacation spot in India. Many think that Goa is only for people who booze or love sea food or party animals. But you can enjoy Goa equally if you love flea markets, the churches, museums, the sea, the sand, the sunsets, the pancakes at the beach shacks...!

This was our first trip post marriage where we decided not to approach a travel agent. One, obviously the financial constraint and two, we wanted a sense of adventure and unexpected. So I started doing what only eminent scientists and nobel aspirants did a few decades back. R&D! I was at my maniacal best of clicking through links, gathering info and preparing an itinerary. After searching over a hundred options, we decided to stay at Candolim. But no amount of R&D will stop you from getting surprised by gems like these.

"Original Fakes" - actually saw the same name in two shops!

Tuk Tuk Cab Rickshaw Stand

Transport
When buses are very infrequent, autos unavailable in most places and taxis obscenely expensive, what comes to your rescue is the National vehicle of Goa - Honda Activa. Easy to hire, for around 200 bucks a day, decent mileage, smooth ride and enough space to hold all the items you shop. And did you know that there are two kinds of two wheelers in Goa? Honda Activa white board and Honda Activa yellow board. It seemed to me as if every second home in Candolim region is in the "Letting Honda Activa for hire" business!

Ponda
It boasts of some lovely temples like Mahalsa, Mangueshi, ShantaDurga etc. Though not a tourist destination, it had very nice roads and signboards at every intersection. Even a severely geographically challenged person (Div has enough material to write a big post on that) The temples are very colorful with yellows, oranges, pink etc. Even the "tulasi katte" in every household is very colorful.

There are some things about Goan temples which I found interesting.

In Goan temples, you can wear footwear into the main entrance of the temple, but need to leave them just before entering inside the temple.
The "deepastambha" in the temples are elaborate and reminded me of the leaning tower of Pisa.
The flower sellers sit inside the temple premises and sell you in either Marathi or Konkani. No english here!
The "golaka" or "hundi" is called "Fund Peti". Fund seemed as though its some kind of investment. Peti very funnily reminded me of Sanjay Dutt's gangsta movies.
The priests dont offer "theertha" in the temples. A vessel containing theertha and a chained spoon will be placed in a corner and the devotees have to take it on their own.
There are non-veg hotels and wine stores just outside many temples. When things are not taboo and just a way of life, they probably cease to be offensive, right?

Old Goa

If you are into visiting old churches, stroll around lovely museums, interested in history - Old Goa is for you.

Ruins of St. Augustine Church, Old Goa - completely blew me away. What a masterpiece it might have been when it was intact!

Tombstones, with Latin inscriptions on them, dating back to the 1500s. Saw one name "Ursula" written as "VRSVLA". I was laughing uncontrollably remembering Mel Brooks' History of the World Part 1 (which never had a sequel though) where he makes fun of Latin. In one of the sequences, he tells his friend - "Buddy, I am hurt. HVRT hurt".

Church of Our Lady of the Rosary - a deserted magnificent structure adjoining the river Mandovi.

The most well known of them all - Basilica of Bom Jesus

Se Cathedral - St.Francis of Assissi. Has some really well maintained museums.

Church of St. Catherine. You could easily mistake it for one of the montage shots of "Before Sunrise".

"A cross here. A cross there. What do you call that?". Double-cross!

Every nook and corner has a beauty like this one.

Beaches
Though we stayed close to Candolim beach, we did not go to the beach for 3 days. The sand varies in texture from beach to beach. Almost every beach now has marked safe zones for swimming and many life guards on duty, which was not the case 3 years back. Here are the beaches we visited:
Sinquerim beach - We had gone for an amazing early morning walk. The nearby Aguada Fort with its mammoth light house is a delight to watch. We were very surprised to spot a peacock there, which was not gracious enough to pose properly for my camera.
Calangute beach - Its not called the Queen of beaches without reasons. It is great for water sports, though the beach is a little too over crowded.
Candolim beach - A personal favorite of mine, so it was quite ironic that we visited it last. But I enjoyed so many new discoveries this time, I rarely missed Candolim beach.
Baga beach - Quite close to the Mackies Saturday Night Market - a place for amazing knick knacks, live music and expensive food. The market was the first place we visited on reaching Goa. If it is your first time in Goa, you would be shocked by the perfectly accented English that village women speak here (yes, it is actually Arpora village) and their amazing sales skills can put the a B-school student to shame ("Come my friend, I will give you the best price" is their mantra!)
Anjuna beach - The wednesday flea market was so huge, that it felt as never-ending as the sea itself. I guess it was the pulsating sound of Prem Joshua's "Shiva Moon" that kept us going.

Sinquerim neach - capturing somebody's "Dil Chahta Hai" moment

The gigantic light house at the Aguaga Fort

Beautiful sunset at the Calangute beach on the penultimate day

Not the queen, but the most beautiful of 'em all - Candolim beach herself

Panaji
Driving inside the city and on the bridge is a delight. There is plenty of parking space everywhere and is mostly free. The shopping on the 18th June Road is an ideal option after a tiring day. The relaxing massage we got at an expensive spa here still brings a bright smile on our faces.

The sunset cruise over Mandovi river made me realize this. There were probably a hundred handicams/digicams/mobicams capturing the performances in the cruise. Imagine 100 youtube videos of a routine performance that happens daily. I am amazed by the amount of redundant and unimportant online data that humanity might have generated in the last 5 years.

Our Lady of Immacute Conception overlooking the city of Panaji

I want to end this writeup with a PJ that occurred to me in Old Goa.
Q: How does Jesus address his mom when he is annoyed?
A: Arrey Mary Maa :)

Why Paa Didn't Work For Me

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:00:00 +0000

Believe me when I say this, I had not gone to this movie to nitpick. No! I was expecting a nice little film, if not anything path breaking.

I remember reading R.Balki's interview, where he had mentioned this. He had been to Amitabh's office one day and there he saw Abhishek getting all wise and parent-ish while Amitabh was very child like. This made him think how would it be if Abhishek plays Amitabh's dad. This is where my friends, like it happens not too rarely, an interesting one line idea fails to shape into a full length feature film. If role reversal was the only thing, a decade back Balki could have casted Dimple as Twinkle's daughter or Esha Deol as Hemamalini's mom.

*** SPOILERS ALERT ***
Any film that has Jaya Bachchan acting all Guddi-ish, reading credits with fake sweetness is a huge turn off. But I told myself not to get too influenced by this little gimmick. The next scene where the MP Amol (Abhishek) arrives at a school to judge the Vision of India contest and delivers a rather nice speech to the kids and declares that the kid who designed the blank globe is the winner. Fine till here. Slowly, and surely, we are shown Auro (Amitabh, in an elaborate prosthetic extravaganza) coming to collect the prize. When a subdued background score or even silence would have been the ideal decision, all the kids start chanting "Auro Auro Auro" (Had his name been Rahul, I would have assumed I was in some SRK movie!)

Next we are shown Auro's house, where he lives with his single mother (Vidya Balan) and grandma (Arundhati Nag) This is perhaps the phase where I was almost jumping with joy, because truly when was the last time you had seen a typical middle class home in a mainstream Bollywood film? And a mainstream heroine wearing "nightie" to sleep?

And then the downward spiral starts. Vidya sees Amol giving the prize to Auro on TV and she goes into a flashback mode. Within one breezy song, Vidya (a medical student then) and Amol (an aspiring politician) bump into each other, exchange names, and as Woody Allen might have put it, body fluids as well. After the song, Vidya realizes that she is pregnant and Amol refuses to take any responsibility. Vidya moves out of his life and raises the kid all by herself.

After this starts a very predictable ride where Auro and Amol's paths cross and they develop a bonding. Auro's health fails, which leads to a rather elaborate and cliched climax.

Instead of going scene by scene, I will just tell what worked for me and what did not.

What worked:

Arundhati Nag. What an actress, really! Her styling, accent, expressions - flawless. (See the scene where she comes to hospital with a blue plastic basket - priceless!)
Vidya Balan is good in a well written role and her scenes with Arundhati Nag are perhaps the best in the movie. They might have actually called the film "Maa", but hey who are the producers anyway?
Paresh Rawal is entertaining after a long time. The scene where he asks Abhishek "Are you gay?", nobody could have bettered that scene.
Ilayaraja's music has a refreshing sound to it, very enjoyable.

What did not work:

Abhishek Bachchan. What in Muruga's name was that? Just styling in whites, a la Murli Deora and Sachin Pilot, is not the be all and end all of a performance. And why oh why is that funny accent. I am sure Katrina Kaif has a serious challenger. See him pronounce "Avo" (for Auro) and "Khoo" (for cool)
The writing is also the culprit when it comes to Amol's character. A caricature of an ideal politician, even a fifth grader would find immature, who swings between two mental states - "Shit, this is the problem with this country" and "I am going to remove all the evils from this country". Just to give an example of bad writing, when Amol discovers that Auro is seriously ill, he comes to the hospital, sees Vidya there, realizes that Auro is actually his son. And if the news got out, media would finish his career and he would not be able to solve all the social evils in the country. Imagine the enormity of the situation and the mental turmoil a person would be going through. Right after this, he meets Paresh Rawal and lamely delivers the line in a very happy tone "I have a son" - his expression as if Priyanka Chopra has promised him to be her flat mate without even having to pay the rent.
Why the hell does Abhishek speak so much English, that too for someone who is a politician? Even Sonia Gandhi has learnt Hindi.
Auro's character, I would say is mediocre in terms of writing. We are not shown the anguish that a differently looking kid faces in school (but everyone chants "Auro Auro Auro" here), or the kid of a single parent facing the identity crisis, what he feels to know that he is gonna die. All we are shown is a kid who is almost Buddha-like, very cool, unperturbed. And to make it sound cute, he is made to talk lot of English, like telling "Round round round" for "Saath Phere".
A kid on deathbed trying to hook up an estranged couple is way way too cheesy for me. Does not work. At all. I expected the film to get me moist eyed towards the end, but there I was sitting totally disconnected - which I would call the biggest failure of the film. (I am not the "never moved" person. For example Munnabhai apologizing to Circuit in Lage Raho Munnabhai still brings a lump to my throat)
Is it a huge effort to sit for 4 hours for your prosthetic make up? Yes. Is Amitabh almost unrecognizable? Yes. His baritone voice never comes in? Yes. Does it mean it automatically qualifies for great acting? Nope, not really. Everyone is hailing Amitabh as if this is his best performance. I would not count this even in his top 10 performances. In an urge to praise the effort, everyone is overlooking the outcome, which is nothing great as such.

In fact, progeria is not at all a major element in this story. This would have worked better with an actual 12 year old kid with some fatal disease and what the dying kid, the single mother and the estranged-now-returned father would go through. It would have made a compelling drama. But then, we do not have a great reputation in making movie with kids, do we?

Bullet And The Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:21:00 +0000

One of Raja Sen's twitposts reminded me of this gem from a Woody Allen's standup:
Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. Bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.