Doodles of a crazy man!

My first video

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 14:40:00 +0000

Been meaning to record this from a long time. Upendra films and Hidden symbolism. This video is in Kannada, due to the nature of the content. Non-Kannadiga peoples, pliss excuse!

If you liked this, please send it to 15 people within 20 mins...or else...
If you dont like this, the blame should entirely go to my old Canon SD 400 camera.

Kannada Film Captions

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 09:12:00 +0000

I happened to see a poster of some Kannada film called "Uyyale" with the caption "the father feeling", also adding "ತಾಯಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ದೊಡ್ಡದು, ತಂದೆ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಕಾಣದು". I am amazed by the ever increasing dumbness of movie names and (most of the times irrelevant and unnecessary) captions. Instead of getting into a rant, I was amused by imagining what some classic world movies would have turned into, if they had fallen into the hands of these Kannada film industry folks.

Goodfellas

ಗ್ಯಾಂಗು, ಗನ್ನು, ಗರ್ಲ್ಸ್...ಹಾಗು ಗುಲ್ಡು ನನ್ ಮಕ್ಳು

Godfather
ಈ ಆಫರ್ ತಕೋ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಕಳಚ್ಕೋ

Inception
ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮ್ ಒಳ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಡ್ರೀಮು

Basic Instinct
ತೆರೆದಿದೆ ಮನೆ ಓ ಬಾ ಅತಿಥಿ

Y Tu Mama Tambien
ಏಯ್ ನಿಮ್ಮವ್ವನ್...

Pulp Fiction
ಮೊದಲ್ನೇ ಸಲ ದೇವ್ರಾಣೆ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗಲ್ಲ ಮಚ್ಚಾ

Schindlers List
ಸಾಯ್ಸೋನು ಸಣ್ಣವನು ದಯಾವಂತ ದೊಡ್ಡೋನು

12 Angry Men
ಕನ್ವಿನ್ಸ್ ಮಾಡ್ತೀರ ಇಲ್ಲ ಕನ್ವಿನ್ಸ್ ಆಗ್ತೀರ...?

Casablanca
ಪ್ಯಾರಿಸ್ ಲಿ ಪ್ರೇಮ...ಮೊರೊಕ್ಕೋ ಲಿ ಮಾನವೀಯತೆ...

Dial M For Murder
ಕಾಲ್ ಎತ್ತಿದರೆ ಖಲ್ಲಾಸ್ ಆಗೋಗ್ತೀಯ ಕಣೆ

The Silence of the Lambs
ಮೇಯೋ ಮೇಕೆಗೆ ಮಿರ್ಚಿ ಮಸಾಲೆ

Memento
ರುಚ್ಚಪಿ ಲ್ಟಉ ದುಇ

American History X
ಕುಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೀಳ್ಯಾವುದೋ ಹುಚ್ಚಪ್ಪಾ...

Reservoir Dogs
ಕಳ್ತನ ಮಾಡ್ತೀವಿ...ಆದ್ರೆ ಕಂತ್ರಿತನ ಸಹಿಸಲ್ಲ...

Singin In The Rain
ಮಳೆಯ ತನನನ...ಪ್ರೇಮ ಗಾಯನ...

Titanic
ಹಡಗೂ ನಿನ್ನದೇ...ಕಡಲೂ ನಿನ್ನದೇ...ಮುಳುಗದಿರಲಿ ಬದುಕು...

Gandhi
ರಾಹುಲ್ಲೂ ಅಲ್ಲ...ರಾಜೀವೂ ಅಲ್ಲ...

Cricket Cliches

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 14:29:00 +0000

It is quite funny reading the expert opinions and predictions leading to the World Cup.

Scene of the crime: Some sports channel
One of the experts starts off: “India are very strong contenders to win the World Cup. And don’t forget, South Africa, Sri Lanka and Australia can also fancy their chances. Pakistan and West Indies, though unpredictable, can topple any team on their day”. The commentator is not too different from all those TV astrologers we love to ridicule.

Some ex-cricketer joins the fun: “I agree India are a very strong side. Especially at home. The crowd will get behind the team and act as the 12th man. This encouragement should spur them up”

Another one (someone whose qualifications for being on the panel are unknown) disagrees: “Indian team has the expectation of a billion fans. They should make sure they don’t get pressurized. Since this is a long tournament, they should guard themselves against injuries” (I know there are more than a billion Indians, but I am excluding the smug ones who make statements like ‘You still follow cricket? I stopped watching in 2003 itself’)

The ex-cricketer begs to differ: “They are professionals. Pressure and injuries are part and parcel of the game. So it should not matter”

******

Meanwhile, Ravi Shastri will be thinking as to which of these should be the opening lines of the first presentation ceremony.
“Today we witnessed a spectacular game of cricket”
“What an absorbing day of play that has been”
“What a cracker of a match we had today”
“Ladies and gentlemen, today more than 650 runs were scored in front of this fantastic crowd”.

There will be plenty of “the last thing that India now needs is a run out”, “this is just what the doctor ordered”, “that went like a rocket to the fence”, “I just get the feeling he has been sold a dummy here” as well.

Arun Lal will be wondering which of his lines should qualify for the “most obvious statement of the year”:
“If you hit the ball over the ropes, you are bound to score 6 runs”.
“If you don’t lose wickets, keep ticking ones and twos, score boundaries of bad balls, you will eventually win the match”.
“When a throw hits the stumps, if you are outside the crease, you are gonna be declared run out my friend”

******

Commentators will prepare themselves of what they need to say based on the event and the result.
Event: Bowler keeps bowling wicket to wicket
Result: He dismisses the batsman
Comment: He hardly gave any width. He tied the batsman and made them do something different. And got his reward for his discipline.

Event: Bowler keeps bowling wicket to wicket
Result: He does not get a wicket, gives lot of runs
Comment: He was predictable and the batsmen cashed in once they got their eye in and got used to the pitch. Pathetic bowling, the bowler should have mixed it up!

Event: Bowler keeps experimenting
Result: He does not get a wicket, gives lot of runs
Comment:He tried too many things. He did not stick to a plan and did not bowl to his field. He should have bowled wicket to wicket.

Event: Batsman attacks from ball one
Result: He scores a quickfire century
Comment: He took the attack to the opposition and just went after the bowling. He never allowed them to settle and disrupted their plans.

Event: Batsman attacks from ball one
Result: Gets out early
Comment: That was pre-meditated. He should have got used to the pace of the pitch before he went on the offensive. Irresponsible batting that.

******

Not just these, there will be more. Even with so much crap around, I will read each and every article about cricket I stumble upon. When a match is on, I will refresh the cricinfo page before the auto refresh can kick in. I will run over to the office TV room to catch the glimpse of a wicket or the 100th run. I will try to get the latest score over my mobile at the traffic signal. Some things will never change. As I was telling a friend this week, the cricket loving youngster in you never quite grows up!

Rajasthan

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 08:37:00 +0000

We had a great vacation at Rajasthan last week. I will not be writing in detail about the places, since wikitravel does a better job at that. I will just jot down some of my experiences/thoughts during this trip.

***

The first thing that strikes you once you are in Rajasthan is the "color". Blood red, dark pink, bright yellow, vibrant hues of blue and green - you feel as though they finished playing holi just before you arrived. It seems the people here, with their dressing sense, art and music, more than compensate for the arid, barren, vast spaces of nothingness. It is one place in the world where you can wear the gaudiest Govinda dress without the fear of a fashion faux pas.

***

Color is very important to a Rajasthani. They have different colors for different occasions - the birth of a child, the mourning of a death, the ending of a mourning, for holi, for diwali. Innumerable types of turbans are worn, each distinctly representing the wearer's caste, sub caste, the region he belongs to etc. A trained eye can figure out a lot looking at a stranger's turban wearing style and color. Example, "Look at that Gujjar, looks like he just had a son" or "Looks like somebody died in that Banjara's house". Remember how we measured the resistors using color code? (B B Roy of Great Britain had a Very Good Wife)

***

The audio guides in most places were good - it was excellent in Mehrangarh fort, Jodhpur; good in Jaisalmer and Bikaner; the only exception being Amer fort in Jaipur. Though aimed mainly at international tourists, it was informative and done very professionally. The reason I said international is because a simple statement like "Rama blessed Hanuman" would become "Rama, an avatar of Vishnu, one of the principal Hindu Gods, blessed Hanuman, the monkey God". Got it right? Like some of you bloggers who write, "A sumptuous meal in Kamat would cost you just Rs. 110" without forgetting to add "approx. 2.683 USD, as on 13/12/2010*" in the brackets.

***

In Rajasthan, art is an integral part of life. Intricate paintings, delicate stone work, done with so much craft and finesse, make their presence feel everywhere. Go to any shop and you can hear the shopkeeper say - "This carpet work is fully hand woven, it takes 6 months to finish one piece" or "This 6X6 miniature painting takes 4 months". Intricate art was perhaps the early desert man's way of ensuring job security. You get orders for making 100 razaai or 200 paintings, and you have a secure job till retirement.

***

During our college days, we used to call our dear friend Avins as "onte" because of his height. Though the camels stand a few feet short compared to him, the tall, good natured, calm, composed, uncomplicated desert ships reminded me of him.

***

I have a big problem with Hindi speaking people interchangeably using "da" and "ra" (like "bari" and "badi" for big; "lori" and "lodi" for lullaby) Imagine my plight when we went to see "Saheliyon ki Baari" and the board read "Saheliyon ki Baadi". Even a half pervert mind would interpret it as getting physical with girlfriends. I am damn sure most North Indians will find it amusing when Laura Linney introduces herself. On a similar note, I am very scared of any Tamilian singing "Lambi judaai" :)

***

If you go to a restaurant in Rajasthan, dont ask "What do you have in dessert?" You may get the answer as "Sand dunes, camels,..." So adopt a safe approach and ask "What do you have in ice creams or milkshakes?"

Lingua Franca

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:50:00 +0000

Can you remember the first French word you had learnt? I can. Let me take a guess about you, was it "Bonjour", "Monsieur", "Mademoiselle", "Au Revoir"? If you say yes, I can safely assume that you were the novel-reading types and you must have read these in a dozen fiction novels where the protagonist travels all over Europe trying to escape from KGB, MI6, CIA or trying to uncover some deadly conspiracy against all odds. I am equally sure that you would have pronounced them in your mind like how you would pronounce an English word. Only later, you would have known that "Mademoiselle" sounds like "memmozee" or "au revoir" sounds like "avva".

If you were not the novel-reading types, in the post-cable-tv-pre-Internet era, there was only one way to get your basic French education - Fashion TV. You had to tolerate horrendously dressed zombies to catch a rare episode of Rio Carnival. I need not say that most of the times it was watched on Mute, so that the elders would not figure out the rate of erosion of Indian culture and values. It was then we came to know about "Michael Adam presents"...and then "Lingerie". And like our novel-reading siblings, we had assumed that it was pronounced the way it was written (only after many years, on one of the Non-mute occasions, we realized that it was pronounced something like "lawn-sje-ray". More weird the accent, more authentic your French is!)

On my way to Mysore (more than a decade after the first French education), imagine my joy when I see this on a wall. Somewhere in this world, even today, there are people who pronounce it the way I used to. Isn't it strange that we humans can relate to each other in the most unusual scenarios?

P.S: My most favorite word though is "Oui". I love the way the women say that in French movies!

UML Series - Vishishtadvaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 11:38:00 +0000

I always find it amusing to imagine Shankaracharya, Madhvacharya and Ramanujacharya standing forming a triangle inside a circular ground. Ennio Morricone score in the background. Slow long shots of each one, followed by close up of each of their eyes.

Then, Ramanujacharya mutters to Madhvacharya - "Seems like you are one entity short" (followed by guffaws from Ramanujacharya's followers in the background)

Silence for 30 secs. And Shankaracharya slowly tells Ramanujacharya - "Looks like you got two too many" (followed by eerie silence and then heavy duty music from Morricone)

So here it is, the last one in the series...

UML Series: Dvaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:19:00 +0000

A colleague of mine used to ask other colleagues whether they are "smart" or "mad". In case you have not guessed, it was her short form for Smartas and Madhvas!

Okay, Madhvas need not feel bad. Smartas have a bigger problem. Anyone returning from abroad with a fake accent will ask them "Are you smartas?" and it is an interesting way to stop people from acting oversmart ;)
So presenting the next one in the series: Dvaita...

UML Series: Advaita Explained

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 13:09:00 +0000

I admit that my knowledge of UML as well as Hindu philosophy is very basic. So any discrepancy in terms of UML or philosophical concepts will not be totally unexpected. I am planning to do this series for different schools, here I am starting off with Advaita first.

Sibling Rivalry

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:25:00 +0000

Sanathkumara once asked the revered sage Sutha Mahamuni - “Oh knower of all knowledge, oh teller of great stories, can you please explain me in less than 4000 words as to when this ‘Sibling Rivalry’ started”.

Sutha Mahamuni cleared his throat, as he usually did before giving lengthy answers, a habit he had acquired by insisting on additional answer sheets during his exams in Gurukul.
“Oh Sanathkumar, the man who comes up with more questions than Siddarth Basu, the one who takes listening skills to different levels, listen. This sibling rivalry is existent from time immemorial. When Narada was telling Krishna the story, in which Samba Sadashiva answered a similar query from Nandi, this story was not told. Because I am making this story up for you. So please listen.”

Ganapathi and his brother Subrahmanya once had a dispute as to who was the elder of the two. The matter was referred to God Shiva for final decision. Shiva decided that whoever would make a tour of the whole world and come back first to the starting point had the right to be the elder. Subrahmanya flew off at once on his vehicle, the peacock, to make a circuit of the world. But the wise Ganapathi went, in loving worshipfulness, around His divine parents and asked for the prize of His victory.
God Shiva reckoned that Ganapathi should be declared winner because of his street smartness. Parvathi, like the dutiful wife that she is, disagreed completely. Who won in the end, nobody really knows. But, thats not the point here, the point here is that this is the first recorded sibling rivalry incident in all of Puranas.

“Hmm interesting”, quipped Sanathkumara, satisfied with the explanation.

“No no no, what is actually interesting is how the words ‘Sibling Rivalry’ is linked to this story”, Sutha Mahamuni said with a smug smile on his bearded face.

Before Sanathkumara could ask the obvious question, Sutha Mahamuni continued, “After this incident, Nandi started jokingly referring it to as ‘Kailasa Rivalry’. It also came to be known as ‘Shivling Rivalry’. And then, and then my friend, one day some Bengalis joined the Shivagana and started pronouncing it as ‘Sibling Rivalry’!”

Plogging

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 12:01:00 +0000

I am really surprised why no one has coined the term "Plogging" till now. In case you are wondering what the hell that is, it just means Parent-Blogging.

I am always surprised that, in my grandparents' generation having a dozen kids was the norm, that too when many had hand-to-mouth existence. My father jokingly tells that its because that was the only form of entertainment in those days. Some experts strongly believe that the late emergence of Plogging is the main reason for population explosion at that time. Imagine if a person had to blog about his half a dozen kids, he surely would not have the bandwidth (not the internet one!) to reach the dozen mark!

***

Since blogging itself is around a decade old, the average age of Momma/Pappa blogs would be around 5 years at the most. Many parent bloggers right now will be blogging about their first kid. Will they be as enthusiastic to blog about their second kid? More importantly,will the parents at some point stop writing posts about their children?

This could actually be a mommy blog post in the year 2030:
Control Systems Exam. Exhausted.
"My son has been studying for his 'Control Systems' exam all night. He is such a dedicated kid. I gave him cereals by missing my serials. Sleep Deprived. Gotta make Horlicks for him now. Laters. Bye".

3 comments:
wannabesupermom writes:
Wow. Great. You are a super mom. Your son is so lucky. Love...
from Internet Explorer 6, 5 minutes ago

regularvisitor writes:
Beautiful post. Wish him all the best.
from Firefox 3.6, 2 minutes ago

mommasboy writes:
Mummy, stop blogging. And get me Horlicks. Now!
from Blackberry, a second ago

***

Here are the technological innovations waiting to be explored:
As of today, you can either write the posts about all your children in the same blog or have a separate blog for each child. But, the future will be something like this.
There will be a single parent blog, like lets say http://kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com and auto tagging feature will create one dynamic pesudo blog per child. If you want to read the posts about all the children, you can go to the main site. If you want to read about a specific child, you would need to visit pseudo sites like say http://rama.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com, http://lakshmana.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com etc.

http://kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Rama's Enthroning. More details soon.
- Rama won Sita, take a bow. Rather, break a bow.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Bharatha always loves to wear Rama's shoes.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://rama.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Rama's Enthroning. More details soon.
- Rama won Sita, take a bow. Rather, break a bow.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://lakshmana.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Asking Rama to go to Forest. Having a heart attack. So long.
- Shucks, Vishwamitra took away Rama and Lakshmana.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://bharatha.kidzofdasharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
- Bharatha always loves to wear Rama's shoes.
- Payasa worked. Kids look just like me. Minus the beard.

http://shatrughna.kidzofbharatha.wordpress.com
Recent Posts:
Oops...no post. Looks like you lost your interest in blogging by the time this kid was born!

***

Parent blogs will be used in future to collect very important statistics:

The drop in blogging interest from first kid blog to the second kid blog.
The average age when the child will take its first step.
The most commonly uttered first words by children.
The effect of Horlicks on the marks obtained in 9th standard science test.
The health drink that kids drink before their "Control Systems" exam.
The impact of parents' posts on the self esteem of the child.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. No adult, parent or child ego was hurt in the writing of this post.

Complicated Affiliations

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:44:00 +0000

I saw this at the MG Road - Brigade Road Junction.

He is the president of "Karnataka Tamil Bhasha Kannadigara Sangha". Can it get any complicated than this?

P.S: For some weird reason, the image is not displayed in blog, but is appearing properly in RSS Reader and Email. Here is the link to the image:

Nobody commented that they are not able to see the image. It means no one is visiting my blog now or everyone has switched to RSS / Email subscription!

What Exactly Bothered You?

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:04:00 +0000

I am amazed by the display of naivete by people, their naivete so deeply conditioned that it ceases to be artificial. These people are very well aware of the reality, but when you show them some proof to confirm that, they are aghast and shocked. What the hell am I ranting about? I am talking about "The curious case of N D Tiwari"! To be honest, when I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Not because there was something funny in his achievements, but the way people reacted to it. So I am trying to understand what exactly bothered them?

A Governor was doing 'it'? ('It' upsets more people than lets say, if he was taking a bribe of crores of rupees from those 3 women)
A Governor was doing 'it'? (Come on seriously, are we not taught in schools that politicians work for people and poverty is dropping like Walmart prices?)
A Governor was caught doing it? (What is revealed is always only the tip of the iceberg. Just imagine the uncaught! Is it the "envy, envy" at work here?)
A Governor was caught doing it in Raj Bhavan? (The media is proficient in math, they come up with some numbers and say its a humongous waste of tax payers' money. Honestly, are you, the common man, upset that you are unwillingly donating a few paisas for the cause?)
The Governor was 86 years old. (Dammit, 9 out of 10 cant lift themselves up. Again, "envy envy", is that the feeling?)
The Governor was with 3 women. (Imagine that classic scene from "Once upon a time in the west" - 'Guess we are 1 horse short...no, its two too many'...Haah!)
The Governor was with girls a third of his age. (Remember reading this in a couple of places, as if the reporter would have no problems if they were septuagenarians!)
The ladies were call girls [Not sure, remembering reading somewhere. Correct me if I am wrong!] (How dare you Mr. Governor, we would have really stood by you if the ladies were educated, from respectables families and filed their income tax returns every year!)

Seriously, what exactly bothered you? :)

Goa

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:02:00 +0000

Goa is perhaps my most favorite vacation spot in India. Many think that Goa is only for people who booze or love sea food or party animals. But you can enjoy Goa equally if you love flea markets, the churches, museums, the sea, the sand, the sunsets, the pancakes at the beach shacks...!

This was our first trip post marriage where we decided not to approach a travel agent. One, obviously the financial constraint and two, we wanted a sense of adventure and unexpected. So I started doing what only eminent scientists and nobel aspirants did a few decades back. R&D! I was at my maniacal best of clicking through links, gathering info and preparing an itinerary. After searching over a hundred options, we decided to stay at Candolim. But no amount of R&D will stop you from getting surprised by gems like these.

"Original Fakes" - actually saw the same name in two shops!

Tuk Tuk Cab Rickshaw Stand

Transport
When buses are very infrequent, autos unavailable in most places and taxis obscenely expensive, what comes to your rescue is the National vehicle of Goa - Honda Activa. Easy to hire, for around 200 bucks a day, decent mileage, smooth ride and enough space to hold all the items you shop. And did you know that there are two kinds of two wheelers in Goa? Honda Activa white board and Honda Activa yellow board. It seemed to me as if every second home in Candolim region is in the "Letting Honda Activa for hire" business!

Ponda
It boasts of some lovely temples like Mahalsa, Mangueshi, ShantaDurga etc. Though not a tourist destination, it had very nice roads and signboards at every intersection. Even a severely geographically challenged person (Div has enough material to write a big post on that) The temples are very colorful with yellows, oranges, pink etc. Even the "tulasi katte" in every household is very colorful.

There are some things about Goan temples which I found interesting.

In Goan temples, you can wear footwear into the main entrance of the temple, but need to leave them just before entering inside the temple.
The "deepastambha" in the temples are elaborate and reminded me of the leaning tower of Pisa.
The flower sellers sit inside the temple premises and sell you in either Marathi or Konkani. No english here!
The "golaka" or "hundi" is called "Fund Peti". Fund seemed as though its some kind of investment. Peti very funnily reminded me of Sanjay Dutt's gangsta movies.
The priests dont offer "theertha" in the temples. A vessel containing theertha and a chained spoon will be placed in a corner and the devotees have to take it on their own.
There are non-veg hotels and wine stores just outside many temples. When things are not taboo and just a way of life, they probably cease to be offensive, right?

Old Goa

If you are into visiting old churches, stroll around lovely museums, interested in history - Old Goa is for you.

Ruins of St. Augustine Church, Old Goa - completely blew me away. What a masterpiece it might have been when it was intact!

Tombstones, with Latin inscriptions on them, dating back to the 1500s. Saw one name "Ursula" written as "VRSVLA". I was laughing uncontrollably remembering Mel Brooks' History of the World Part 1 (which never had a sequel though) where he makes fun of Latin. In one of the sequences, he tells his friend - "Buddy, I am hurt. HVRT hurt".

Church of Our Lady of the Rosary - a deserted magnificent structure adjoining the river Mandovi.

The most well known of them all - Basilica of Bom Jesus

Se Cathedral - St.Francis of Assissi. Has some really well maintained museums.

Church of St. Catherine. You could easily mistake it for one of the montage shots of "Before Sunrise".

"A cross here. A cross there. What do you call that?". Double-cross!

Every nook and corner has a beauty like this one.

Beaches
Though we stayed close to Candolim beach, we did not go to the beach for 3 days. The sand varies in texture from beach to beach. Almost every beach now has marked safe zones for swimming and many life guards on duty, which was not the case 3 years back. Here are the beaches we visited:
Sinquerim beach - We had gone for an amazing early morning walk. The nearby Aguada Fort with its mammoth light house is a delight to watch. We were very surprised to spot a peacock there, which was not gracious enough to pose properly for my camera.
Calangute beach - Its not called the Queen of beaches without reasons. It is great for water sports, though the beach is a little too over crowded.
Candolim beach - A personal favorite of mine, so it was quite ironic that we visited it last. But I enjoyed so many new discoveries this time, I rarely missed Candolim beach.
Baga beach - Quite close to the Mackies Saturday Night Market - a place for amazing knick knacks, live music and expensive food. The market was the first place we visited on reaching Goa. If it is your first time in Goa, you would be shocked by the perfectly accented English that village women speak here (yes, it is actually Arpora village) and their amazing sales skills can put the a B-school student to shame ("Come my friend, I will give you the best price" is their mantra!)
Anjuna beach - The wednesday flea market was so huge, that it felt as never-ending as the sea itself. I guess it was the pulsating sound of Prem Joshua's "Shiva Moon" that kept us going.

Sinquerim neach - capturing somebody's "Dil Chahta Hai" moment

The gigantic light house at the Aguaga Fort

Beautiful sunset at the Calangute beach on the penultimate day

Not the queen, but the most beautiful of 'em all - Candolim beach herself

Panaji
Driving inside the city and on the bridge is a delight. There is plenty of parking space everywhere and is mostly free. The shopping on the 18th June Road is an ideal option after a tiring day. The relaxing massage we got at an expensive spa here still brings a bright smile on our faces.

The sunset cruise over Mandovi river made me realize this. There were probably a hundred handicams/digicams/mobicams capturing the performances in the cruise. Imagine 100 youtube videos of a routine performance that happens daily. I am amazed by the amount of redundant and unimportant online data that humanity might have generated in the last 5 years.

Our Lady of Immacute Conception overlooking the city of Panaji

I want to end this writeup with a PJ that occurred to me in Old Goa.
Q: How does Jesus address his mom when he is annoyed?
A: Arrey Mary Maa :)

Why Paa Didn't Work For Me

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:00:00 +0000

Believe me when I say this, I had not gone to this movie to nitpick. No! I was expecting a nice little film, if not anything path breaking.

I remember reading R.Balki's interview, where he had mentioned this. He had been to Amitabh's office one day and there he saw Abhishek getting all wise and parent-ish while Amitabh was very child like. This made him think how would it be if Abhishek plays Amitabh's dad. This is where my friends, like it happens not too rarely, an interesting one line idea fails to shape into a full length feature film. If role reversal was the only thing, a decade back Balki could have casted Dimple as Twinkle's daughter or Esha Deol as Hemamalini's mom.

*** SPOILERS ALERT ***
Any film that has Jaya Bachchan acting all Guddi-ish, reading credits with fake sweetness is a huge turn off. But I told myself not to get too influenced by this little gimmick. The next scene where the MP Amol (Abhishek) arrives at a school to judge the Vision of India contest and delivers a rather nice speech to the kids and declares that the kid who designed the blank globe is the winner. Fine till here. Slowly, and surely, we are shown Auro (Amitabh, in an elaborate prosthetic extravaganza) coming to collect the prize. When a subdued background score or even silence would have been the ideal decision, all the kids start chanting "Auro Auro Auro" (Had his name been Rahul, I would have assumed I was in some SRK movie!)

Next we are shown Auro's house, where he lives with his single mother (Vidya Balan) and grandma (Arundhati Nag) This is perhaps the phase where I was almost jumping with joy, because truly when was the last time you had seen a typical middle class home in a mainstream Bollywood film? And a mainstream heroine wearing "nightie" to sleep?

And then the downward spiral starts. Vidya sees Amol giving the prize to Auro on TV and she goes into a flashback mode. Within one breezy song, Vidya (a medical student then) and Amol (an aspiring politician) bump into each other, exchange names, and as Woody Allen might have put it, body fluids as well. After the song, Vidya realizes that she is pregnant and Amol refuses to take any responsibility. Vidya moves out of his life and raises the kid all by herself.

After this starts a very predictable ride where Auro and Amol's paths cross and they develop a bonding. Auro's health fails, which leads to a rather elaborate and cliched climax.

Instead of going scene by scene, I will just tell what worked for me and what did not.

What worked:

Arundhati Nag. What an actress, really! Her styling, accent, expressions - flawless. (See the scene where she comes to hospital with a blue plastic basket - priceless!)
Vidya Balan is good in a well written role and her scenes with Arundhati Nag are perhaps the best in the movie. They might have actually called the film "Maa", but hey who are the producers anyway?
Paresh Rawal is entertaining after a long time. The scene where he asks Abhishek "Are you gay?", nobody could have bettered that scene.
Ilayaraja's music has a refreshing sound to it, very enjoyable.

What did not work:

Abhishek Bachchan. What in Muruga's name was that? Just styling in whites, a la Murli Deora and Sachin Pilot, is not the be all and end all of a performance. And why oh why is that funny accent. I am sure Katrina Kaif has a serious challenger. See him pronounce "Avo" (for Auro) and "Khoo" (for cool)
The writing is also the culprit when it comes to Amol's character. A caricature of an ideal politician, even a fifth grader would find immature, who swings between two mental states - "Shit, this is the problem with this country" and "I am going to remove all the evils from this country". Just to give an example of bad writing, when Amol discovers that Auro is seriously ill, he comes to the hospital, sees Vidya there, realizes that Auro is actually his son. And if the news got out, media would finish his career and he would not be able to solve all the social evils in the country. Imagine the enormity of the situation and the mental turmoil a person would be going through. Right after this, he meets Paresh Rawal and lamely delivers the line in a very happy tone "I have a son" - his expression as if Priyanka Chopra has promised him to be her flat mate without even having to pay the rent.
Why the hell does Abhishek speak so much English, that too for someone who is a politician? Even Sonia Gandhi has learnt Hindi.
Auro's character, I would say is mediocre in terms of writing. We are not shown the anguish that a differently looking kid faces in school (but everyone chants "Auro Auro Auro" here), or the kid of a single parent facing the identity crisis, what he feels to know that he is gonna die. All we are shown is a kid who is almost Buddha-like, very cool, unperturbed. And to make it sound cute, he is made to talk lot of English, like telling "Round round round" for "Saath Phere".
A kid on deathbed trying to hook up an estranged couple is way way too cheesy for me. Does not work. At all. I expected the film to get me moist eyed towards the end, but there I was sitting totally disconnected - which I would call the biggest failure of the film. (I am not the "never moved" person. For example Munnabhai apologizing to Circuit in Lage Raho Munnabhai still brings a lump to my throat)
Is it a huge effort to sit for 4 hours for your prosthetic make up? Yes. Is Amitabh almost unrecognizable? Yes. His baritone voice never comes in? Yes. Does it mean it automatically qualifies for great acting? Nope, not really. Everyone is hailing Amitabh as if this is his best performance. I would not count this even in his top 10 performances. In an urge to praise the effort, everyone is overlooking the outcome, which is nothing great as such.

In fact, progeria is not at all a major element in this story. This would have worked better with an actual 12 year old kid with some fatal disease and what the dying kid, the single mother and the estranged-now-returned father would go through. It would have made a compelling drama. But then, we do not have a great reputation in making movie with kids, do we?

Bullet And The Bible

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:21:00 +0000

One of Raja Sen's twitposts reminded me of this gem from a Woody Allen's standup:
Years ago, my mother gave me a bullet...a bullet, and I put it in my breast pocket. Two years after that, I was walking down the street, when a berserk evangelist heaved a Gideon bible out a hotel room window, hitting me in the chest. Bible would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.

What The #&*$ Is Your Raashee?

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:25:00 +0000

There are two reasons why this movie might run away with the worst movie of the year - one, obviously its horrendous and two, its terribly long.
During all the Hurman - Priyanka interactions, I was initially shocked by the amount of screen time Hurman's face was getting. Soon I realized that its because the camera was always behind Priyanka's almost bare back.
I was half expecting Joe Pesci to pop up from somewhere and yell - "Wanna know my raashee? I dont know, you should #&*$ing know. Tell me smart guy, whats your raashee? Whats your #&*$ing raashee? What the #&*$ is your #&*$ing raashee?" or something on those lines.
The greatest achievement is this movie proved that Bollywood can come up with 12 different names for a girl - yes, who was that idiot who said there are no names other than Pooja, Sanjana, Tina, Simran and Anjali.
2-5-1-6-3-4 <-- Tarantino

1-11-3-7-4-5-8-6-12-2-9-10 <-- Gowarikar

You must be thinking I am crazy to watch this movie. In full. Yes, I am! :)

Google Wave Down

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:51:00 +0000

Everyone in the world wants a Google Wave invite. 9 out of 10 have no clue why they want Wave in the first place (I am the eighth one in that ;) )
Its just the hype of limited invites that did the trick I guess - kind of online Macguffin.

Half an hour into using Wave, I feel that its like enhanced Google Docs with chat, having iGoogle interface. Not at all sure how its gonna be useful to me. The reason why I actually wrote this is not to "review" Wave, but to share something interesting. Like all beta products from Google, here is a nice error page. I could not find this image anywhere on the net, so I can proclaim like the 24/7 news channels - you saw this first here! :)

Finally!

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:20:00 +0000

Late December 2007, one saturday evening.
Post-kanyaaveekshane talking round.
"I heard that you blog", was the very first thing she told me.
"Yes, how did you know?" (Have I become so big in blogosphere? - I had wondered)
"Uncle told me."
"Oh, is it?" (Half blushing and half expecting to hear that I have a great sense of humor :D)
Nothing so filmy happened. But then we started talking about blogs, we figured out that half of the blogs that I follow are her offline friends. So much for the global village and the spherical world.

After that I asked, "What are your hobbies?"
"Reading and writing" (What! Writing??? Not blogging, but writing! That sounded like an actual writer, and not like someone who woke up one day in 2005 and started blogging - aka me)
"Hmm, you have a blog?"
"No" (Another analogy I can think of is - photographers vs Digicam-owners :) )
If my memory serves me right, I had suggested to her that she should open a blog.

Exactly 9 days after that, we were "engaged" and for the first time, I happened to read one of her write-ups. I had told her again that she should open a blog.

"Engaged" became "Married" and I went on relentlessly pestering (she can vouch for how annoying I can get when I am at my tenacious best!) Finally she has hopped on to the blogosphere. I hope she finds time to write often. Ladies and Gentlemen, may we have...okay I will cut down the drama...here is the link to her blog:
http://diyaseetharam.blogspot.com/

Now I should somehow get my dad to start blogging! This one is not so easy, I tell ya!

Raghu Dixit Concert @ Yuva Dasara

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:49:00 +0000

How many singers/musicians who are 1 album and 1 movie old can you think of who not only deserve an evening in Dasara, but also can make the audience go crazy with their music?
Now that I am struggling to come out with a second name, I am telling you the first name - Raghu Dixit!

I love Raghu Dixit's music. I have listened to his music before his "Psycho" became such a smash hit. Much before he was spotted by Vishal-Shekhar. Much much before he was on Orkut, Facebook or Twitter. More than 3 years back, Setty had send me the link of a song. I was simply mesmerized by the music. The musician was Raghu Dixit and the song was "Gudugudiya". I had played it a few hundred times in the next few days.

I remembered all these things as I was getting ready to go to the Yuva Dasara concert. I was just hoping the rain Gods would skip being spoilsport, to which they eventually obliged. Even at 5.30 PM, there was a sizable crowd, indicating that by the time the concert starts, there would be no space left. Raghu seemed to be in the final stages of rehearsing. After that, till 9.00 PM, there was one activity after another of college students performing dance, fashion show etc. Any other day, I would have just left the place. But, today was different. I wanted to attend this concert from so many days. Catching it on television would be such a poor substitute.

By 9.00, Raghu and his band arrived on stage in their customary ethnic wear. I could feel the audience warming up even as Raghu was doing his "Mike...testing...1...2...3...". "Mysore...hegideera? Channagideera?", Raghu started without any pretense. The crowd roared. "I am getting the chance to perform in front of my home crowd after so many years". Here was a superbly original singer, amazing composer, but above all an extraordinary performer.

He started off with the "Ee Tanuvu Ninnade", a brilliant rocking composition - a much much better number than the hugely successful "Ninna Poojege Bande". The audience cheered loudly as he finished this song. The police till then were stopping the people from getting off their chairs. Raghu's next act completely spoiled their plans. "You know, how Raghu Dixit's concert should be...people should be standing...nan makla edd ninthkolro..." You had to hear the sound then! Chairs were piled on chairs and people stood on them...and hardly few people were still on the ground. The next song was "Hey Bhagwan", a very beautiful number with great violin in it.

After this song, he asked, "Where are the Yuvaraja College boys?" After getting a "ho" response from some section in the crowd, he said "Gottaglilvenro, I am your senior". Then came "Mysoor Se Aayi", a nice folksy song. After the song, he turned towards the girls and asked "Where are the Maharani College girls?" Everyone burst into laughter. He followed it up with the mystic Sufi Poet Shishunala Sharif's "Gudugudiya Sedi Nodo". He gave a brief explanation of the song, perhaps used to giving it outside Karnataka. What a song from the poet, I am sure Sharif must have been on a high when he wrote that. And Raghu's composition and singing does complete justice to this beauty of a poem!

The next Shishunala Sharif song was sung with audience also singing along with him. By this time, the audience were chanting "Psycho...psycho...psycho". For people who are living in another planet, the extremely popular song "Ninna Poojege Bande..." is from the movie "Psycho". Raghu showed his honesty when he said that he is bored of singing this song. I am sure he would agree that this song, for all its catchy-ness, pales in comparison to his other underrated songs. I sincerely felt that this was the only time where he lacked the intensity and the joy.

When people yelled "once more", Raghu was quick to say "bitti show li ashte", but still sung "Kodagana KoLi Nungitta" which I was listening for the first time from him. Thought it was kind of nice, I'd still prefer the C Ashwath's version more. Finally he said "You guys dont want to go home. But I have to, mom would have cooked hot food...I am hungry". Before he could let the hunger distract, he aptly ended the show with "Ee Tanuvu Ninnade". And thanked the crowd and asked them to visit his website and add him on orkut and Facebook. Surprised he missed twitter!

I am sure thousands in Mysore tonight would have slept late. But, all of them would have a smile on their faces by the time they hit the bed. I can easily say that this would rank among the best concerts I have witnessed.

Thanks Raghu, we will wait for the next Dasara!

Tweet Tweet

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 06:43:00 +0000

Ever thought of making some smartass comment and then you realized that there is no one near you at the moment to share?
Ever wondered if sending a (what you thought was) great SMS would really be welcomed by the people in your recipient list?

This, my friends, I think is the biggest thing that drives humans in this generation. The necessity to be heard, recognized, their presence acknowledged has driven us to many online inventions of the last decade. You may call it cultural interaction, knowledge sharing, creative collaboration or whatever fancy names the IIM types can come up with. But, deep down, its just this human instinct.

I know I know, twitter has been there from a long time. I have decided to become a better-late-than-never adopter.
You can follow my tweets here:
http://twitter.com/vasukir

Those of you who decide not to use twitter, the widget on the right column below "About Me" would ensure that you wont miss the fun.

Puranic Tales

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:53:00 +0000

I dont know when I developed this fascination, but it has stayed with me from quite a few months. I keep reading online about Indian mythology. I am seeing the old stories I had heard from my grandmom in new perspectives.

To me, the mythology is not a collection of moral stories. My sense of morality is based entirely on my thinking, so to read it just from moralistic perspective would be boring. The good thing about Indian mythological stories is that they dont picture even divine beings as perfect or without weaknesses. Even Gods have anger, jealousy, lust, insecurity - which somehow appeals to me very much. In a strange way, it makes these stories all the more human and relatable. The trick to enjoy is not to fall into the trap of categorizing everything into two big boxes of "good" and "bad". Between black and white, there exists a wide sea of blissful gray.

My imagination runs wild when I think of so many possible stories we can make up. Here is one imaginary scenario I find very amusing.
Karna, Shani, Bhima and Hanumantha are at a table having lunch in some divine restaurant. Some people in the next table were overheard talking about them.
"I have never seen these guys here before. Are they friends or what?"
"No, they are kind of brothers"
"Come on, you are kidding right?"
"No, I am serious. Let me explain. Shani is the son of Chhaya and Surya. Karna is born to Surya and Kunti. Bhima is born to Kunti and Vaayu. Hanumantha is born to Vaayu and Anjana. Beat that!".
The uncles' joke from the eighties ridiculing the west - "My children and your children are playing with our children" - does not seem too original after all.

Here is another one.
Vishnu has a son called Narakasura from Bhudevi.
Krishna was a avatar of Vishnu, kills Narakasura, who in a way happens to be his son.
Rama was another avatar of Vishnu, who married Sita, the daughter of Bhudevi.
Can it get more complex than that?

The popular story of Ahalya goes like this -
Indra tricks Ahalya by visiting her in the form of Gauthama, and makes love to her. It looks too unreal that the wife of a great sage, herself with divine powers, could fall for this ridiculously simplistic trap. Assuming it was true, Gauthama could not have cursed her if she had no knowledge of this trickery.
Here is what I heard from my dad, happens to be the original version of the story. Though it would not be acceptable to the moralists, I find this story strangely touching.
Ahalya was married to the sage Gauthama. Gauthama was so enchanted by the apsaras, that he started performing severe penances in order to please Gods. So Ahalya had this thought that if Gauthama is longing for apsaras and these apsaras were pleased by Indra, how great Indra could be. On knowing this, Indra visited the hermitage and made love to her. On knowing this, Gauthama curses her and Indra.

I hope to read more on Greek mythology too. It would give enough fodder to come up with ideas like what might have happened if Achilles had fought in the Kurukshetra war!

Joshua Kadison - Jessie

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 10:24:00 +0000

There has been silence on this blog for too long. So I am posting a favorite song of mine. I personally love songs that narrate a short story, may be that is the reason why country songs and bhaavageethe appeal to me. Joshua Kadison's singing perfectly complements the lovely lyrics. Priceless!

Gaadi Slogans

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Uncle Duty ge
Aunty Matinee ge

This is perhaps the first slogan I remember reading on the backside of an auto when I was young. I dont know why a married woman going to a movie in the afternoon, when her husband was at work seemed funny to my young mind, but it did. Now that I think of it, may be it was the unusual combination of "duty" and "matinee".

From then on, auto drivers have been a huge source of intrigue for me. The way they decorate their autos, their mannerisms, their failed love stories and the subsequent loss of faith in love, growing respect for parents after the failed love, the devotion towards their movie idols etc. To me, they are much more than people who often ask "10 rupees extra".

So, what was just a healthy curiosity has now turned into quite an ugly obsession. Clicking the photo of any nice slogan I come across on the road. If you see any guy in Bangalore weirdly driving his car, at the same time precariously balancing the mobile on the steering, you guessed it right, its me!

I do not want to clutter this blog, so I have opened a new blog. Its rather unimaginatively titled "Gaadi Slogans", for lack of available options, time and grey matter.
You can visit the blog here.
http://gaadi-slogans.blogspot.com/

It will be business as usual in this blog. As you might have observed, the recession has affected the post frequency as well. Hopefully will be back in action soon.

Life In Bengalooru With Rajni Sir

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:23:00 +0000

One of the items I terribly enjoy on radio is "Life In Bengalooru With Rajni Sir" on Radio One. I "simbly" love it, as Rajni says. My guess is that its RJ Prithvi, but I am not too sure.

I have been meaning to do my take on it from a long time but it took this long for the idea to become a post.
I am personally not too happy with the outcome, but then I had a whale of a time recording and re-recording this stuff. Here it is...wachchaww!!!

Please drop a comment if you liked it.

Elections 09

noreply@blogger.com (Bit Hawk) — Mon, 18 May 2009 05:46:00 +0000

You know the most breaking news and the first headline item in every news channel on the counting day?
The "exclusive" predictions from the exit polls of their channel turned out to be true. Every goddamn channel had this news, errr story. Now, are people really interested in other news items?

******

Whats the difference between CPI-CPM before the elections and after the elections?
Before they were "Left", now they are left way behind!

******

Even when the trends were coming up, every party was putting up a brave face and telling that these were just trends and things will definitely change when the actual results are out. So confident are all these parties that if some party which had contested in less than 100 seats across the country made a statement that they are sure to form a government on their own, I would have been least surprised.

******

During the half way of counting, Rajdeep Sardesai asked a BJP spokesperson if they are willing to concede defeat at the strategic timeout in the Indian Political League (IPL). Both talked metaphorically for what seemed like hours. The spokesperson said that the result can swing in a couple of overs just like in T20. Yeah, if only they did not opt to play like "Knight Riders"! One sad thing about BJP not winning elections is that I am gonna miss Mr. Venkaiah Naidu and his Andhra english which goes something like "The paarty has faarmed the paalicy..."

******

I unconditionally hate all the parties which form Third Front, Fourth Front, nth Front etc. More for their creative bankruptcy than their ideologies(or lack of it) Cant they come up with some other meaningless names like Allied Secular Front, Indian Socialist Alliance, Democratic Communist Alliance?

******

I think "Singh is King" is the most overused slogan of this decade. Cant the brain dead journos come up with something else? Like this:
Yuvraj(Rahul Gandhi) Singh(Manmohan) storms IPL (Indian Political League)