Additionally, I began sharing “Perspectives” by e-mail. Check out past “Perspectives” and sign up to receive them in your inbox. 

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So, here we go with some bare bone basics. (I am fascinated by conflict: let me know if you want to talk about it!) I work as a mediator, conflict coach, and facilitator.

Alternative Dispute Resolution is a bit of a misnomer. Legal disputes are decided through some “alternative” process in the vast majority of cases, whether or not they begin on track to a trial. The best-known ADR processes are mediation and arbitration; both involve an impartial person (sometimes more than one), who may be called a neutral. A mediator helps the people involved reach a resolution that they find acceptable. The mediator does not decide for them and cannot force a resolution. Preserving, improving, or restoring the ongoing relationships of the people involved is an essential element of my mediation work. Families often choose mediation when they have a conflict that has not crystallized into a dispute that could lead to court or when the issues may not be legal ones at all.

Unfortunately, plenty of people who are not routinely exposed to ADR forget that mediation and arbitration are not the same. An arbitrator hears evidence presented and imposes a binding decision, in the form of an award, which is very difficult to overturn.

When families or their advisors fear that I will impose a decision, or judge them in some way, they may miss the opportunity for a positive mediation experience.

As a conflict coach, I support the efforts of individuals to get better at handling conflict. Conflict coaching is not a traditional ADR process. When I serve as a mediator, however, I do include at least some conflict coaching with the individual participants. Other times, my work as a conflict coach is separate from mediation.

A facilitator helps two or more people have a productive discussion about an important topic. They may have different perspectives, but they typically would not describe themselves as having a conflict. A professional facilitator has no stake in the outcome of the discussion. When I am asked to work as a facilitator, a family may be intending to prevent a nasty conflict from developing. My experience as a mediator and conflict coach helps me to be a better facilitator.

Not sure which of these options could be helpful to you or an individual client or client family? Let’s talk!

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I started to learn to podcast in October 2018, launching a rewarding stretch of my own, curated, continuing education. In November 2018, I started to learn to be a CINERGY (R) Conflict Management Coach, becoming certified in March, 2019.

The learning continues.  In July, 2020, I became a Conflict Dynamics Profile (R) Certified Practitioner. I find CDP to be especially practical (my favorite approach to conflict) because it focuses on behaviors. It seems that any of us can commit to taking a look at our behaviors around conflict to see what helps and what hurts.

More recently, in September, I became a Resilience @ Work (R) Accredited User.  The word “resilience” has had a lot of attention through the ongoing global pandemic and recession — and rightly so. The R@W Scale is an evidence-based model developed in 2011. It defines resilience more broadly (and more usefully, I believe) than is usually the case. In the R@W model, resilience is “an individual’s capacity to manage the everyday stress of work and remain healthy, rebound and learn from unexpected setbacks and prepare for future challenges proactively.”

All of these endeavors support my commitment to helping people deal with conflict more effectively. It will always be a part of life — but it doesn’t need to be destructive.

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The year just ending featured two especially important developments for me and for Dovetail Resolutions. First, I became certified as a Conflict Management Coach in the CINERGY (R) model. It is a powerful method to help individuals get better at handling conflict effectively.  It’s different from mediation because it is a one-on-one coaching model, based on executive coaching, conflict resolution, and neuroscience. I am delighted to be able to offer this service, in addition to mediation in ongoing, valued relationships — especially in workplaces, extended families, and the intersection of those: family businesses.

The second important development is a year of weekly podcasting, starting in January, 2019 and continuing through today and beyond.  As host and producer of Crafting Solutions to Conflict, I am committed to providing a positive and practical perspective on conflict. I firmly believe that conflict is not always negative; positive conflict can be the catalyst for innovation and growth. And negative conflict is neither inevitable nor insoluble. I have enjoyed presenting thoughts on topics and tips, as well as interviewing guests who have useful insights. And I welcome your suggestions for future topics or guests.

More to come in conflict coaching and in podcasting in 2020!

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In Conflict Coaching, the coach works one-on-one with an individual to help that person handle interpersonal conflict more effectively.

Please contact me to learn more about how this approach to conflict – a part of life – can help you and your clients.

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https://exitplanningexchange.com/fairfield-county/events

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In some countries, Reconciliation Day is a national holiday relating to the nation’s history. In this case, it’s a more interpersonal context of conflict. These reconciliations can and do happen! And sometimes it helps to have some nudge outside the conflict to get things started. Reconciliation Day, April 2, can be just that nudge.

My podcast, Crafting Solutions to Conflict, has a bonus episode about this inspiring idea. Available wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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Along the way, I was propelled forward by a resourceful and supportive trio of coaches, David Nebinski, Maria Xenidou, and Morgane Michael.

It may be a combination of setting the tone at the top and the self-selection of who decides to sign up for a online course like this one. Whatever it is, I am grateful for the remarkable support of a group of fellow TPF2 (The Podcast Fellowship 2) alums, who continue to provide help and encouragement as we make our way forward as novice podcasters!

My podcast’s trailer was published in December, 2018. Weekly episodes began in January. The podcast has great guests, and, I hope, helpful insights through a practical and positive perspective on conflict.

Come join me!

Available wherever you listen to podcasts, including Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Google Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify, and Castbox.

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