Down Goes Brown

Grantland: The second round is the worst but these ten moments from past years were fun

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Thu, 23 May 2013 17:13:00 +0000

Hockey fans have an uneasy relationship with the second round of the NHL playoffs. Don’t get us wrong. We like it. It’s fun. No complaints. It’s just that … well, if we have to be honest, it’s probably the postseason’s least interesting round.

We can all agree that the first round is pretty much the greatest thing ever. With eight series going on at the same time, there’s always a game on. The action is unbelievably intense, every other game goes into overtime, and the matchups feature a nice mix of powerhouse favorites and plucky underdogs.

By the time the third round rolls around, every game is crucial and every remaining team is a legitimate Cup contender. And most years, the finals are packed with enough tension and drama to make up for the fact that the league schedules each game nine days apart to make sure there’s never any momentum.

But Round 2 is just kind of … there. There are still a lot of games, but after Round 1 it feels like it’s not enough. There are always a few underdog teams who have almost worn out their welcome. And injuries are starting to tilt a few of the series in unfortunate ways (as opposed to the later rounds, when everyone is hurt so it doesn’t matter).

It wasn’t always like this. Prior to 1994, the second round was actually the divisional final, which meant guaranteed intensity and gave us clutch goal scorers like Doug Gilmour, Peter Stastny, and Steve Smith. But since the league ditched its divisional playoff format, Round 2 has become the NHL playoffs' unloved middle child.

It doesn’t have to be that way. We can learn to love the second round. To help, here’s a look back through 10 great second-round moments since the NHL moved to a conference-based system:

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Grantland: The 20 types of sports fans you meet as your team crashes and burns

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 21 May 2013 16:35:00 +0000

By now, hockey fans have probably seen the video of a group of Toronto Maple Leafs fans watching last week’s Game 7 loss to the Bruins. If you haven’t, it’s below. Fair warning: It’s downright painful to watch.

You don’t have to be a Leaf fan or even follow hockey to understand what you’re witnessing. If you’ve been a die-hard fan of a team in any sport for long enough, chances are you’ve suffered through watching a game like that. Depending on which teams you follow, you may have been there far more often than you’d care to remember.

There’s no right or wrong way to react to the sight of your favorite team self-destructing on national television. But through the years, fans seemed to have developed a variety of methods for handling it. The next time you have to sit through a sports disaster for the ages, here are 20 different types of unhappy sports fans you might find yourself in the room with.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Beyond "You Lit A Fire": Other recent newspaper ads from around the league

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 21 May 2013 13:29:00 +0000

By now you may have seen the mysterious “You Lit A Fire” ad that recently appeared in a Toronto newspaper. If not, you can view a copy of the ad here. Really, I can't recommend it highly enough.

The ad is interesting for several reasons, not the least of which is that we don’t know who paid for it. But it’s that quasi-poetic and sort of creepy repeated mantra of “You Lit A Fire” that really makes it memorable. What does it all mean? Nobody seems to know for sure.

But while the circumstances around this particular ad are a little bit unusual, these sorts of paid messages actually show up in newspapers fairly often this time of year. In fact, I’ve seen several similar ads in various newspapers around the league over the past few days.

Just in case you don't believe me, I cut a few out out and scanned them for you.

For example, this recently showed up in a Colorado paper.

This one was in Vancouver...

You know, maybe this guy should just stop dealing with the media entirely...

This was in Boston, and it actually kind of explains a lot.

I admire the effort, but I don't think this is going to work.

Come to think of it, this one may appear annually in Calgary.

And finally, this one just showed up this morning in a Toronto paper:

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland: 12 key battles in the Sens/Pens series

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 17 May 2013 18:49:00 +0000

The Senators and Penguins opened their second-round series Tuesday night, with Pittsburgh claiming an early series lead thanks to a 4-1 win on home ice.

The no. 1-seeded Penguins are the consensus favorites over the 7-seed Senators, but nobody would be surprised if the series turned out to be a long one. In the end, it may come down to which team can manage an edge in the key matchups.

Which key matchups, you ask, since you assume that’s what you’re supposed to do? Good question! Here are a dozen battles to watch as the series resumes.

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Grantland grab bag: Son of grilled cheese edition

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 17 May 2013 13:47:00 +0000

In the weekly grab bag: A debate about conspiracy theories, why we'll miss the NHL Awards show, and multiple overtimes can do strange things to broadcasters' minds.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

What went wrong? Excuses from the NHL's losers

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Thu, 16 May 2013 19:22:00 +0000

It's called Therriening. It's just like Tebowing,
except for the part where you have a prayer.

The first round of the playoffs is finally over, which means we're down to eight teams left standing. Those teams deserve a round of applause, and they'll get it… somewhere else. Because as long-time readers know, the end of the first round also means it's time for our annual tribute to the 22 teams whose seasons ended without even winning a single series.

Yes, the losers. The also-rans. The teams that, if we're being honest, basically wasted everyone's time by even bothering to show up this year.

Luckily, every loser has an excuse, and these 22 teams are no exception. So while everyone else is focused on the eight remaining teams, here's a look back at what went wrong for the rest of the league.

Anaheim Ducks - Over the last few days, every time Bruce Boudreau started a team meeting by shouting "Let's come up with a plan for finishing off those Wings!" we'd all sit there in the dark for an hour before realizing he'd just gone to lunch.

Montreal Canadiens - Should probably have let Carey Price do the triple-low-five in the playoffs against the Senators, since it would have been nice to see his glove hand actually make contact with something every now and then.

New York Islanders - When coaches urged the team to go out and match the Penguins in every area of the game during their first round series, in hindsight they probably should have made a point to exclude "terrible goaltending".

New Jersey Devils - Never got over the loss of that 29th overall first round pick we forfeited last year, we assume, because man it would have been completely ridiculous for us not to.

Philadelphia Flyers - It turns out that playing Luke Schenn 20+ minutes a night in front of terrible goaltending is a recipe for missing the playoffs, as if anyone ever could have predicted that.

Winnipeg Jets - Everyone agrees that we have the league's loudest and smartest fans, which is tough because you try playing every game in front of 15,000 fans chanting "Wow, this roster is terrible".

Carolina Hurricanes - While extensive travel is difficult in these difficult economic times, might still have to think about someday sending a scout or two somewhere other than the annual Staal family reunion.

Buffalo Sabres - Tyler Myers just hasn't been as intimidating ever since the rest of the league realized he's actually a short guy sitting on another short guy's shoulders while wearing an oversized trench coat.

Florida Panthers - Just couldn't cut it in the ultra-competitive Southeast; sure hope we get moved to a much easier division next year.

Calgary Flames - Finally got around to taking down that big banner reading "Remember, we went to the Finals a few years ago so let's just keep the same roster together until we hit rock bottom" from our dressing room, because it was a terrible idea and demoralized our players and also the Vancouver Canucks need it now.

Colorado Avalanche - Are patiently waiting for that one final step every struggling young team has to take before they finally become a legitimate playoff threat: losing P.A. Parenteau as a free agent.

Washington Capitals - Lost games six and seven after falling victim to a vast pro-Rangers conspiracy among NHL officials. Specifically, the ones who wrote that section of the rulebook about how teams have to be able to score at least one goal to win.

Dallas Stars - Had a room full of guys who were all working towards the same ultimate goal, and nothing will ever match the look of excitement in a player's eyes when he gets pulled into the coach's office and told he's finally earned a call-up to Pittsburgh.

Tampa Bay Lightning - We're a team that needs a top-quality goaltender and our general manager spent his whole career playing with Tim Cheveldae and Chris Osgood, so you do the math.

Minnesota Wild - Instead of irresponsibly spending almost $200 million on unrestricted free agents, should probably have spent a few bucks to retain whichever trainer had been in charge of making sure every goalie in the organization didn't get hurt at the same time.

St. Louis Blues - You hate it when your best playmaker suddenly gets all greedy and stops passing you the puck, but that's what happened with stupid selfish Jonathan Quick.

Phoenix Coyotes - They say that all teams follow the example set by their ownership, so we spent a few months pretending to be working really hard while actually having no intention of accomplishing anything.

Nashville Predators - Were under specific orders from ownership to play so poorly that frustrated fans pelted us with coins, since that's the only way they're going to be able to afford to pay Shea Weber.

Columbus Blue Jackets - Felt kind of bad about ruining all your expert "Blue Jackets finish dead last" predictions, so decided to hold off on winning the Cup for one more year.

Edmonton Oilers - Kevin Lowe responds to any criticism he hears by saying "I can't see you, I have six Stanley Cup rings jammed into my eyes", which would be funny except that's also how he does all his scouting.

Vancouver Canucks - Spent the whole year focused on getting the first goal so that we could play with the lead and wouldn't have to come from behind, only to find out at the end of the season that the NHL apparently has a different definition of "from behind" than the rest of the world.

Toronto Maple Leafs - You know how when a baseball pitcher is just minutes away from a no-hitter or perfect game or some other all-time career highlight that your fans will cherish forever, and all his teammates are supposed to just leave him completely alone? Yeah, it turns out you're not supposed to do that with your goalie.

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland: On game seven, what it means to be a sports fan, and how Those Games ruin everything

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 14 May 2013 20:13:00 +0000

There’s a secret that Toronto fans aren’t supposed to talk about, but after what happened Monday night, I don’t care about anything anymore, so here it is: Heading into Game 7 against the Boston Bruins, Leafs fans were OK with losing.

Not "OK" as in we wouldn't care. Leafs fans wanted a win, were hoping for a win, and — in some cases — may even have talked ourselves into expecting a win. And we were ready for the three hours of agony we knew were coming. A Game 7 in the NHL playoffs is pure torture, and Leaf supporters were feeling that every bit as much as fans of the Bruins.

But there was an insurance policy, because the 2013 Leafs season was already a success. A team that hadn’t made the playoffs in seven years and was expected to miss them yet again had ended the drought. Young players who’d been written off as busts suddenly emerged. A franchise that floundered for a decade had finally found an identity. And though they were written off after falling behind three games to one in a series against a team that had spent the last few years kicking sand in their faces, the Leafs clawed back with a pair of gutsy wins to force a deciding game.

A loss would sting for a while, sure. But it couldn’t really hurt, not the way big losses are supposed to. It couldn’t leave a scar, whether it came in a blowout or sudden death or somewhere in between.

Unless it turned out to be one of Those Games.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: A look back at the first round

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Mon, 13 May 2013 18:51:00 +0000

The first round of the NHL playoffs isn’t over quite yet, thanks to a pair of Game 7s tonight. But since one of those games involves the Toronto Maple Leafs, I’ll be completely incapable of even basic human function all day long so we better just go ahead and do this now.

Let’s take a look back at the past two weeks of action, and hand out a few awards to the best and worst of (almost) the entire first round.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland grab bag: Drop the puck!

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Sat, 11 May 2013 00:03:00 +0000

In the weekly grab bag: An important message for reporters, Hockey Sock Rock, and a debate about whether linesmen take too long to drop the puck.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: Forget the Battle Of Ontario, let's enjoy the Northeast's new playoff rivalries

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Sat, 11 May 2013 00:02:00 +0000

Playoff time in Toronto and Ottawa used to mean the Battle of Ontario. That was the creative nickname slapped onto the rivalry between the two teams who faced each other four years out of five from 2000 to 2004. Fans of either team don’t need to be reminded how that went: The Leafs won all four series, in increasingly cruel fashion.

This season marks the first time since 2004 that both teams are in the NHL playoffs, although this time they are not facing each other. This week, I dropped by Ottawa’s Scotiabank Place and Toronto’s Air Canada Centre to take in a pair of Game 4s.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Sizing up the 2013 Masterton nominees

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 07 May 2013 12:03:00 +0000

Ever the gentleman, Crosby helpfully reminds
fans of the other teams where their tears go.

The Masterton Trophy is awarded annual to the NHL player who who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey, and is voted on by members of the Professional Hockey Writers' Association. All 30 teams' local chapters vote on a nominee, with the league winner selected from that group.

While the trophy usually goes to a player who has returned to action for a serious injury or illness, the award's criteria are loose enough that various forms of "perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication" can be recognized.

All 30 teams have announced their nominees for this year's award. Here's a look through the league at some of the players who were honored.

Edmonton Oilers: Ryan Smyth - Perhaps no player in the past 20 years has been as strongly associated with the Edmonton Oilers as Smyth, who has shown tremendous dedication and perseverance by continually getting out of bed in the morning anyways.

Carolina Hurricanes: Dan Ellis - Would be a great choice for the award assuming it comes with some sort of cash bonus, according to Twitter comedians who just realized they still have a few "Dan Ellis Problems" they forgot to use three years ago.

Toronto Maple Leafs: James Reimer - The 25-year-old has admitted that he was touched to receive a special plaque congratulating him on being the starting goaltender who finally led the Maple Leafs back to the playoffs, even though he could help but notice it had Roberto Luongo's name scratched out and his written over it in pencil.

Tampa Bay Lightning: BJ Crombeen - The hard-working forward will likely have his ballot punched by several voters, including those from Philadelphia who will keep punching it long after it's clearly done.

Colorado Avalanche: J.S. Giguere - Is a long-shot for the award based on betting odds posted in Las Vegas, we assume, if that was the sort of place any of us were allowed to go without getting yelled at by Old Man McCrankypants, mutter all his young teammates bitterly.

Winnipeg Jets: Ron Hainsey - The Jets' defenceman and key NHLPA figure has shown incredible dedication in continuing to compete hard all year long despite the fact that he will never play hockey again after this season, according to all 30 NHL owners as they twirl their mustaches evilly.

Minnesota Wild: Josh Harding - Returned to the NHL as a goaltender just months after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, but hey, great job being old Vinny Prospal, I'm sure you've got a real shot at winning this too.

Nashville Predators: Pekka Rinne - Has inspired a generation of fans with his valiant effort to somehow make it as an NHL goaltender despite having to play with a body so big that he can fill the entire net without moving.

Ray Whitney, Dallas Stars - His nomination specifically mentions his dedication to waiting until the season is over before throwing his teammates under the bus, so come to think of it they may have the wrong "R. Whitney".

Philadelphia Flyers: Kimmo Timonen - The veteran defenceman has spent the last six years working closely with the developmentally disabled or disadvantaged or whatever the proper term is these days for Flyers goaltenders.

Pittsburgh Penguins: John Wilkes Booth - Just to troll Jack Edwards.

Los Angeles Kings: Jonathan Bernier - Was nominated for his perseverance in his role as a backup goalie who never plays, in what experts agree is a sobering reminder that maybe we don't actually need a nominee from every single team for this award.

Montreal Canadiens: Andrei Markov - Was nominated based on the sportsmanship he displayed in the first three games of the team's playoff series with Ottawa, which he spent elbowing Senators players in the throat instead of directly in the temple like all of his teammates.

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland grab bag: Stay classy, naked gladiator guy

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 03 May 2013 18:28:00 +0000

In this week's grab bag: Don Cherry vs. the women, the Senators' pre-game gladiator is the YouTube clip of the week, playoff outrage, and a very important message to hockey fans who tell people to "stay classy".

>> Read the full post on Grantland

Grantland: The bandwagon fan's guide to the NHL playoffs

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Wed, 01 May 2013 01:29:00 +0000

The NHL playoffs are here, and if you cheer for one of the 16 teams that made the cut, you know what you need to do: Put fresh batteries in the remote, kiss your loved ones good-bye, and get ready for the emotional roller coaster that you’re about to ride.

But what if your team didn’t make it? What if you find yourself looking for a bandwagon to jump on over the next few weeks? Well, in that case you ~~could refuse to do that because bandwagon-jumpers are the absolute worst fans in sports~~ better choose carefully!

It’s not an easy decision. In fact, choosing a temporary team can be one of the toughest calls a sports fan can make. You want a team that’s fun to watch, is riding a nice story, and preferably has a chance to win at least a round or two. You might prefer a franchise with some recent success, but not so much that you seem like a front-runner. And of course, you’ll want to be associating yourself with a worthy fan base, even if the relationship is only going to be short term.

I’m here to help. So I went through all 16 playoff teams and ranked them in terms of their desirability as a bandwagon destination. If you want someone to root for during the postseason but you’re not sure which team to choose, consult this handy guide to make sure you don’t make a decision you’ll regret.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Eastern Conference playoff preview

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 12:15:00 +0000

Mandatory playoff preview week continues. Yesterday we took a look at the Western Conference. Given the absence of a Northern or Southern Conference, I guess that means today we're stuck with the East.

#8 New York Islanders vs. #1 Pittsburgh Penguins

The Islanders kept it close until a
second Penguins player showed up.

The view from Long Island: Will try to shut down the Penguins' best players the same way they always do: By giving the puck to Brooks Orpik at the point and hoping he takes a slapshot.

The view from Pittsburgh: Will have to play a disciplined game, and try not to take a bunch of too-many-men penalties every time Dan Bylsma yells "Get out there, future hall-of-famer!"

Player to watch: David Volek, on a YouTube loop, while quietly muttering "I believe in miracles" to yourself.

#7 Ottawa Senators vs. #2 Montreal Canadiens

The two Senators were overjoyed to find a
teammate who hadn't been injured yet. (During
the celebration, both players were injured.)

The view from Ottawa: They say that an underdog just needs to win one game in front of the other team's fans, which is great news for the Senators since they'll get seven tries.

The view from Montreal: Have already printed up their "2013 Northeast Division Champs" ball caps, in case you were wondering what Carey Price would be wearing on the bench halfway through each game.

Player to watch: Erik Karlsson's injured leg is 100% back to normal, because it was always made out of a glowing metallic substance that makes a weird humming sound so just stop asking about that, OK?

#6 New York Rangers vs. #3 Washington Capitals

Hey, you do realize we're allowed to play other teams, right?

The view from New York: A Rangers loss could mean the end of John Tortorella, a story which the New York media will no doubt cover solemnly as soon as they’re done doing cartwheels in the pressbox.

The view from Washington: The Capitals managed to wrap up the Southeast thanks to hard work, dedication to their game plan, and being the only team in the division that remembered to take their skate guards off before each game.

Player to watch: Alexander Ovechkin, preferably through one of those pinhole projectors kids make during an eclipse so that the constant red light doesn't damage your retina.

#5 Toronto Maple Leafs vs. #4 Boston Bruins

Seguin couldn't shake the feeling he
should know this guy from somewhere.

The view from Toronto: The Maple Leafs players will have to deal with the crushing pressure of being solely responsible for making sure Toronto sports fans don't realize what's going on right now with the Blue Jays.

The view from Boston: Tyler Seguin is trying to explain to an sobbing Jack Edwards that he never meant to offend him, and it was only a typo when he recently tweeted "no homer".

Player to watch: Zdeno Chara and that funny whimpering noise coming from his locker, if you're the private investigator assigned to Phil Kessel's missing persons case in about two weeks.

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Western Conference playoff preview

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:56:00 +0000

Another NHL regular season is in the books. The standings are set, 14 teams have been sent packing, and the matchups have been finalized. And that means it's playoff preview time.

We'll cover the Eastern Conference tomorrow. Today, let's start off with a look at the Western Conference matchups.

#8 Minnesota Wild vs. #1 Chicago Blackhawks

Damn you, google image search for "most recent
meaningful Minnesota/Chicago hockey game"

The view from Minnesota: The team spent almost $200 million in free agency so Wild fans could watch a championship caliber team, and now they can for four games until the Blackhawks move on to round two.

The view from Chicago: Know that playoff success can come down to taking advantage of just a few short seconds on one single shift, which is good since that's probably all the time that Ryan Suter will be spending on the bench each game.

Player to watch: Duncan Keith, assuming he's soaping himself up in the shower and you are an impudent lady reporter, Don Cherry assumes.

#7 Detroit Red Wings vs. #2 Anaheim Ducks

This photo includes way too many first names.

The view from Detroit: The Red Wings deserve respect for their dramatic late-season playoff push, but announcing that they plan to fill their Gatorade bottles with the tears of Columbus Blue Jacket fans still seems a little over-the-top.

The view from Anaheim: Fought hard all year to climb the standings, clinch a high seed, and put themselves in the position to be the "shocking first round upset" pick in literally every postseason preview on the planet.

Player to watch: Nicklas Lidstrom, if you're one of the round-the-clock security guards hired by the other 29 NHL teams to make sure he never even thinks about coming back.

#6 San Jose vs. #3 Vancouver Canucks

Alexander Semin was always late for
the "playoff chokers club" meetings.

The view from San Jose: The front office is expecting a long playoff run that will see the team travel all around North America, the players assume, since it would explain why Doug Wilson has been so busy packing everything in Todd McLellan's office into cardboard boxes.

The view from Vancouver: Coach Alain Vigneault has reminded all his players that if they want to win they'll need to put in a full night's work every game, so one 22-second shift should pretty much cover it.

Player to watch: Cory Schneider's mysterious injury hasn't healed yet and he may be unable to start the series, said Roberto Luongo while awkwardly holding a dented folding chair behind his back.

#5 LA Kings vs. #4 St. Louis Blues

You know, this might work better if we weren't
both facing in the same direction.

The view from LA: The Kings enter the series as the underdog because they're the lower seed, so they basically have no chance.

The view from St. Louis: The team has been much better ever since they realized that mysterious power switch in their dressing room that they've been randomly flicking on and off all season is actually the one that toggles Brian Elliott from "awesome" to "Brian Elliott".

Player to watch: Jay Bouwmeester, as he sits alone peeling off his equipment in the dressing room wondering where everyone else is five minutes and one second into every overtime.

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland grab bag: No, I'm pretty sure Albert wasn't supposed to be Brazilian

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:11:00 +0000

In the weekly grab bag: A week of dumb outrage, don't mess with Tony Twist, a debate about where games are too loud, and more Albert ad theories.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: A dozen possible first round matchups I'd love to see

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 00:07:00 +0000

The NHL playoffs are less than a week away, and we’re starting to get a clearer picture of exactly which teams will be involved.

But while several are locked into a playoff spot, there’s still plenty of uncertainty over what the actual first-round matchups will be. So this seems like a good time to start thinking ahead to some potential pairings.

We’re not necessarily going to worry about the most likely scenarios, just the potentially best ones. To keep from veering too far into wishful thinking, we’ll limit it to matchups that have at least a 15 percent chance of happening, according to Sports Club Stats.

Here are a dozen possible playoff matchups that hockey fans can start getting excited about.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

A look back at players who have led the NHL in goal-scoring

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 12:45:00 +0000

Ovechkin recently announced that, in order to
"make it more challenging", he will play all future
shifts while simultaneously performing show tunes.

The NHL season has a week to go, and there's no question about who the hottest player in the league is down the stretch. That would be Alexander Ovechkin, the much-maligned superstar who has recorded 20 goals in his last 18 games.

That streak has pushed Ovechkin to the top of the league's goal-scoring race, making him the favorite to lead the league for a third time. That would put him in great company. The league has honored the goal-scoring leader with the prestigious Rocket Richard Trophy since 1999, but even in the years before that award was created there's always been a special aura associated with leading the NHL in goals.

Here's a look back at some of the players from the past who've held that honor.

2006 - While offensive totals increase dramatically due to a series of post-lockout rule changes aimed at increasing scoring, in hindsight the league may have gone too far with that whole "nobody is allowed to use a goalie when Jonathan Cheechoo is on the ice" thing.

2007 - Vincent Lecavalier's 52 goals wins the Rocket Richard Trophy, which Brian Lawton will later claim he totally could have traded for two Stanley Cups, three Vezinas and the Lombardi Trophy.

2003 - Milan Hejduk wins the award with a 50-goal season, causing you to reminiscence fondly about how they're just aren't any players like that in the league any more right up until he awkwardly taps you on the shoulder and reminds you that he actually still plays for Colorado.

1993 - Teemu Selanne ties for the league lead when he scores 76 goals as a rookie, then decides to dial it back a little since he doesn't want to be one of those flash-in-the-pan types who burns out after only 16 or 17 seasons.

1980 - Charlie Simmer, Danny Gare and Blaine Stoughton finish in a three-way tie for the league goal-scoring lead, just in case you were wondering why that "1980 season highlights" video is always in the discount bin.

1995 - Peter Bondra leads the league in goals despite recording just nine assists. He accepts the honor while graciously thanking his linemates, a cardboard cutout of Dennis Maruk and that one broken piece from your childhood table-top hockey game.

1996 - While impressive at the time, most historians now agree that Mario Lemieux's 69-goal season was tainted due to his flagrantly unfair advantage of being healthy enough to play in 85% of his team's games while also being Mario Lemieux.

1981 - Mike Bossy tops the league with 68 goals while leading the Islanders to their second of four straight Stanley Cups, according to the Islander fan who just woke up from the coma he asked to be placed in until the next time he'd have anything to be happy about.

2004 - The Rocket Richard Trophy is shared in a three-way tie between Jarome Iginla, Rick Nash and Ilya Kovalchuk, before the league immediately shuts down for a lockout over a salary cap that will ensure that young superstars can finish their NHL careers with the teams they started with.

1997 - Anaheim's Selanne and Phoenix's Keith Tkachuk battle until the final day for goal-scoring title after the NHL decides that would be easier than having Gary Bettman wander the streets of Winnipeg punching every hockey fan he sees in the throat.

2001 - Pavel Bure wins his second straight Richard Trophy thanks to his blinding speed, accurate shot, and the patented breakaway move he calls "distract the goalie with the fact that all your knee ligaments are dragging behind you like wet spaghetti".

1982-87 - Wayne Gretzky and Jari Kurri combine for six consecutive years in which an Edmonton Oiler wins the goal-scoring title, which they will later attribute to teammate Kevin Lowe's leadership, motivation, and ability to talk them out of having shoulder surgery even when it's obvious they really need it.

2012 - Steven Stamkos becomes only the second player in 15 years to reach the 60-goal plateau, a mark that many historians predict will not be reached again until, oh, sometime this weekend at the rate Ovechkin's going.

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland: 20 thoughts about the playoffs-bound Maple Leafs

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:59:00 +0000

My name is Sean, and I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs fan.

This will no doubt come as a shock to anyone who’s been reading my stuff over the years. As a respectable sportswriter, I have carefully hidden any team allegiances I may have so as not to appear biased. Especially observant readers might have picked up on some subtle hints, like the way I force at least one Leaf reference into everything I write, or that my Twitter avatar is a Maple Leaf punching a guy in the face, or that I named my first-born son “Dougie," or that I can’t write a single word without first watching the Wendel Clark “All Heart” video a dozen times to get pumped up. But for the rest of you, this is probably a shock. The secrecy is over.

Also over: Toronto’s playoff drought. On Saturday night in front of a raucous Ottawa crowd, the Leafs beat the Senators 4-1 and finally got that precious “x” next to their name in the standings. They’re in. The Toronto Maple Leafs are going to the playoffs.

My editors asked if I’d like to write a few words about that. [The opening bars of “Hero of the Day” begin to play in the background.] Yes, yes I think I would.

Here are 20 things you need to know about the playoff-bound Maple Leafs.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland grab bag: Why does Albert have his first name on the back of his jersey?

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 17:03:00 +0000

In the weekly grab bag: Too many outdoor games, Don Cherry reveals his list, your favourite player is a dirtbag, Chris Pronger makes me sad, and the most iconic commercial in Canadian history.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: Famous hockey moments that would have been way better if we'd had Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 15:44:00 +0000

It’s one of those topics that come up every now and then: What would famous moments in history have been like if Twitter had been around?

Usually people talk about things like the first Wright brothers flight or the invention of the light bulb, but I’d rather focus on something important, like hockey. So I put together a list of nine notable moments from hockey history that I think would have been way more fun if we’d had Twitter back then.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: What every hockey fan needs to know about a possible Leafs/Habs first round series

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:54:00 +0000

We’re getting close to the end of the NHL regular season, and the postseason scenarios are rapidly taking shape. Teams are clinching spots, the death watches have begun, and fans of playoff-bound teams are already looking ahead to possible first-round matchups.

But of all the potential pairings, one looms above the rest: the Toronto Maple Leafs facing the Montreal Canadiens.

According to Sports Club Stats, a Leafs-Habs pairing is the most likely first-round series in the league right now, at just slightly better than a 50 percent chance. Is that enough to call it a sure thing? Not at all. Is it enough to prematurely crank up the hype machine? Oh, baby.

Here are 10 things you need to know about a potential playoff meeting between the Maple Leafs and Canadiens:

It’s the greatest rivalry in NHL history.

Not necessarily the greatest rivalry of today — you could make a good case for Boston-Montreal or Pittsburgh-Philadelphia. And not the greatest rivalry of our generation, thanks to these guys.

But with all due respect to those teams and others, nothing can match the history of the league’s oldest rivalry. The two teams have combined for more than 30 Stanley Cups, including 13 of 14 between 1956 and 1969, and each have more than 50 players in the Hall of Fame.

And yes, this is the part where you point out that all that happened decades ago and doesn’t matter much today. To which the hockey world responds: Pull your pants up, you insufferable brat. If you’re a hockey fan, especially a Canadian one, this is the rivalry your grandparents’ generation grew up with and passed down. No matter where you are or what team you cheer for, the history of the Maple Leafs and Canadiens is a big part of why you’re a fan.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

The other former Oiler players interviewed by Kevin Lowe for the general manager job

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Mon, 15 Apr 2013 17:00:00 +0000

Tambellini knew he was in trouble when his
performance review consisted entirely of
Kevin Lowe miming a wanking motion.

Scene: A board room at Edmonton Oilers headquarters. Kevin Lowe and Craig MacTavish are finishing up an extensive interview.

Lowe: Thanks again for coming in Craig. Obviously we want to move quickly to replace Steve Tambellini, and I have to say you did great on the interview.

MacTavish: Thanks Kevin. Happy to have the opportunity.

Lowe: I was especially impressed by this glowing letter of reference from Randy Carlyle, where he explains how you "never made your brain all sweaty" by wearing a helmet. So we'll certainly keep that in mind.

MacTavish: Excellent.

Lowe: Now as per team policy, we will of course be filling this vacant front office position with a former Edmonton Oilers player. And right now, you're certainly at the top of our list. But we do have a few other candidates to speak to.

MacTavish: Absolutely. It's all about due diligence.

Lowe: Thanks your understanding. (into intercom) Please send in the next candidate.

Wayne Gretzky enters the room.

Lowe: Thanks for coming in, Wayne. Now I have to say that I'm somewhat surprised that you're interested in returning to Edmonton. You seem like more of a southern US guy these days.

Gretzky: Well, it's true that for the past few years my family has spent most of our time in California. And I just feel like it would be a really nice change to come back up to a cold weather climate.

Lowe: Well, we certainly offer that.

Gretzky: Yeah, I really think my entire family needs to spend some time where it's snowy and cold and nobody ever wears a bikini.

Lowe: Ummm…

Gretzky: My ideal situation would involve mandatory head-to-toe parkas for everyone.

Lowe: OK, but any thoughts on what you'd do as the general manager?

Gretzky: Oh, I'd just let Dave handle that.

Lowe looks up at Dave Semenko standing behind Gretzky with his arms crossed.

Lowe: Does he still follow you around everywhere?

Semenko (cracking knuckles): Is there a problem with that?

Lowe: No sir.

Semenko: I didn't think so.

Lowe: OK, well thanks for coming in Wayne, and we'll certainly let you know.

Gretzky: Thanks. If you need me, I'll just be outside ordering Dave to smash every camera we see with a baseball bat.

Semenko: Dave wants to go on a canoe ride.

Lowe: You do that, Dave. (into intercom) Next candidate please.

Mark Messier enters the room.

Lowe: Mark, great to see you. So based on your extensive NHL experience, what would be the first steps you would take towards building a Stanley Cup championship team?

Messier: I would make a series of trades.

Lowe: Can you be more specific?

Messier: I would trade every good player on the roster to the New York Rangers.

Lowe: The Rangers.

Messier: Yep. May as well start planning the parade.

Lowe: I'm sorry, but how exactly would giving all our best players to the Rangers help us win a championship in Edmonton?

Messier (surprised): In Edmonton? Dude, you have to be more specific in your questions.

Lowe: (sighs heavily)

Messier (chuckling): Bring the Stanley Cup to Edmonton… I mean, the odds of that ever happening again have to be 1,000-to-1.

Gretzky (peeking his head in the door): Janet says she can get you 900.

Lowe (into intercom): Please send in the next former Oiler.

Ryan Smyth: Hi guys!

Lowe: Um…

Smyth (enthusiastically): Let's do this!

Lowe: OK, Ryan… you are aware that you still play for the team, right?

Smyth: What?

Lowe: You're at the rink literally every day. We're paying you over two million dollars. What did you think you were doing?

Smyth: I kind of assumed I was some sort of a consultant or something.

Lowe: You're our fourth line winger.

Smyth: Oh man. Wow.

Lowe: Come to think of it, this actually explains a lot.

Smyth: I should probably go do a sit up or something.

Lowe: You probably should. OK, at least this can't possibly get any worse. (into intercom) Are there any other former Oiler players out there?

Voice from outside: Boo-yah!

Lowe: Oh god no.

Chris Pronger kicks in the door and enters the room wearing a necklace made out of Dave Semenko's teeth.

Lowe: Chris, I know you played here for a season but I didn't really expect you to be interested in returning.

Pronger: Well, as you know my playing career recently ended, so I'm looking to keep busy.

Lowe: I see. And remind me why your career is over?

Pronger: I suffered a serious head injury, which to this day is still causing me lingering symptoms that can make even simple decision making a challenge.

Lowe: And you're applying for the Oilers GM job because…

Pronger: Based on the last few years, I just kind of assumed that was a job requirement.

Lowe: I hate you.

Pronger: Can I go now? Ryan Smyth says he knows an all-you-can-eat chicken wing place.

Lowe: You may.

MacTavish: I thought that went well.

Lowe: OK Craig, I think we can safely say you're the best candidate. Consider yourself hired.

MacTavish: That's great, I'm really excited for the job.

Lowe: I am too. Look, we all know it's a tough time for the organization, but I really think you're going to do great. We need a fresh new vision, and I look forward to seeing you take us in a brand new direction.

MacTavish: So, when do I start making decisions?

Lowe: Decisions? Oh no, I'll still be making all of those. You're basically here for some light office work.

MacTavish: Ah. OK.

Lowe: First order of business, gather up all these resumes from the other candidates and file them away.

MacTavish: Right away sir. Where did you want them?

Lowe: Oh, just put them over there, in the file folder labeled "Resumes for 2015 GM vacancy".

Featuring 70 posts including 24 chapters of exclusive new material, The Best of Down Goes Brown is now available.

Grantland Grab Bag: Are you on the list?

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:40:00 +0000

In the weekly Grab Bag: The fighting debate, trying to figure out the proper plural form for "Greg Adams", Don Cherry's list, and the most 1984 hockey intro of all-time.

>> Read the full post at Grantland

Grantland: A Guide to the Last 18 Days of the NHL Schedule

noreply@blogger.com (Down Goes Brown) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 16:13:00 +0000

It feels like just a few weeks ago that we were watching the NHL’s opening night. And it was. Thanks, Bettman!

But in this lockout-shortened season, we’re already in the home stretch. In fact, today is one of just 18 days left on the NHL schedule. In a perfect world, you’d watch them all. But in this imperfect world, there’s a good chance you’re stuck with things like “a job” or “family” or “friends,” so you have to pick your spots.

I’m here for you. I went through each of the remaining 18 days on the NHL regular-season calendar to figure out which were likely to be worth watching, and which could safely be skipped.

>> Read the full post at Grantland