down the movie hole

Sorry Fans I had hiatus and Deadpool2

2018-06-18T11:01:00.002-07:00

Hey kids! I’m back. I would apologize for not droppin’ fat blog posts buttttt. . . . my four Tales to Terrify fans probably love the mystery. I will try to retcon some posts.

On to my review: Deadpool2 (2018, David Leitch) This movie in many ways is what a marvel movie should be. Following the template laid out in the first film John Wick director David Leitch shows he still understands action and pacing. I was watching a portuguese bootleg but I am sure there were some funny title and end sequences. Josh Brolin is swole, Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin have nice chemistry. Standout performance by Zazie Beetz as Domino. Nice jokes about dumb Liefeld/Nicieza characters who die gruesomely. Did I mention I almost scrapped with Rob Liefeld in the early 90s at San Diego Con (It was about a Hawaiian Shirt)? Irreverent and at times lowest-common-denominatory Deadpool2 delivers some laughs. The film sets up a team sequel which may not happen. . . if the producers blow it. Hopefully marvel (lowercase m) will give us a craktarded Howard the Duck movie.

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Free State of Jones

2016-07-10T15:32:00.001-07:00

(2016, Gary Ross)

Much anticipated film about the life of Union Sympathizer Newton Knight and his attempt to create a unique place (the Free State of Jones) in Confederate Mississippi during and immediately after the War Betwixt the States.

Matthew McConaughey and Gugu Mbatha-Raw put in decent performances in this wildly inaccurate and poorly constructed film by Gary Ross. The flash forward to the 20th Century and the use of title cards and junky editing weigh heavily on this movie.

Unless you are a huge MM fan and like seeing the same Louisiana locations you have seen plenty in Django:Unchained; Into the Badlands; 12 Years a Slave and elsewhere; or just have a hankerin' for period costumes and weapons or like fancy Mules-- avoid this sad and mostly boring film.

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens

2016-02-28T19:44:00.001-08:00

(2016 JJ Abrams)

My reaction is: meh. Daisy Ridley as Rey is a great heroic figure and Adam Driver is surprisingly good as Kylo Ren. This is in many ways a shot for shot homage to the original trilogy and I think that is fan service at it’s worst. The world of Jakku is blandly realized and much of the world building that can be seen in other Star Wars films is lacking here. This ultimately feels like an intentionally weak movie in order for the sequel to be awesome like Empire Strikes Back supposedly was for Star Wars.

I await the interstitial movies directed by various hotshot directors. . .

Hail Caesar

2016-02-28T19:42:00.002-08:00

(2016 The Coen Bros)

Joel and Ethan have lost the genius of youth. This film looks cool and is well acted with ensemble favorites George Clooney, Tilda Swinton and Josh Brolin. This movie seems to be a plot without a story. Or a story that plays at philosophy and cultural commentary and fails. The symbolism is weakly realized and while there are some standout moments like Channing Tatum’s musical number— it all sums to very little. I also didn’t like Burn After Reading much. . . Oh yeah and Scarlett Johannson is in it. . . .

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Dead Pool

2016-02-28T19:39:00.002-08:00

(2016 Tim Miller)

Canadian Ryan Reynolds brings the hot sauce with this r-rated Marvel Comics movie by first time feature director Tim Miller. This is a solid flick. Good humor, sexiness, shark-jumping rooted in visceral fantastic realism— and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. NTW is realized as a complete badass in this film. Double-punch! Morena Baccarin plays Deadpool’s significant other and Dario Naharis plays the bad guy. Preposterously inappropriate humor, gore, boobs, martial arts, explosions, tuff women, metal Russians, and cool costumes, unicorns, and pop cultural commentary— this film fires on all cylinders. Enjoy the ride. (6/7)

PS-- I almost got in a fist fight with co-creator Rob Liefeld in San Diego at a Dark Horse Comics party. He insulted my Hawaiian shirt and I insulted his crappy drawing anatomy. . .

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On DVD: Big Hero Six; John Wick

2015-05-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

(2014) Chris Williams

I love this movie. It is double punch goodness and is (along with Guardians of the Galaxy) the best of the Marvel Films. Fantastic world building in the form of San Fransokyo; heart warming goodness; robots; awesome action; badass design; and the message that math, science, and making stuff is how heroes and heroines are made. I have watched this movie about 30 times.(7/7)

John Wick
(2014) David Leitch, Chad Stahelski

Ok so Keanu can kill movies with his intrinsic Keanuness however it is clear that he loves martial arts and action films (see his directorial debut(?) Man of Tai Chi). John Wick is a revenge tale about a skilled hitman whose dog is killed by Mick Jagger, er Theo Greyjoy, er the Russians played by Scandinavians and British Actors. Some nice close quarter combat martial arts. (5/7)

The Thin Man
(1934) WS Van Dyke

What can you say? William Powell and Myrna Loy are such badasses it hurts. This movie is a pitch perfect adaptation of the Dashiell Hammett novel. This movie was shot in 12 days. It is sexy, smart, warm and clever. And it has Asta the dog who (in various doggie incarnations) achieved celebrity on his/her own.

Baian the Assassin
(1990)

Super charismatic Watanabe Ken stars in this 1990s Japanese series about an acupuncturist/ doctor who is actually an underworld assassin. This tight drama shines best when showing the interactions between Baian and the toothpick craftsman/ assassin and the machinations surrounding the assassins go-between (motojime). Watching this show makes me hungry-- just like Zatoichi— they are always eating amazing food. *stomach growls* (6/7)

Avengers: Age of Ultron; Furious 7; DVD picks

2015-05-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

(2015) Joss Whedon

James Spader plays a robot. Featuring the Avengers as themselves. Overall this was an enjoyable romp but it seemed like it could have been better. Typical of Marvel movies there were huge battles in a city. Why can’t the Avengers lure their enemies out into the countryside? Cameo by Thanos as himself.
(5/7)

Furious 7
(2015) James Wan

The 7th entry in the actioner series. Jason Statham does a fantastic job as the bad guy. This film is a celebration and a send off for brother in arms Paul Walker who died as the film was being completed. I admit I shed a few tears in what felt like the end of the series. Martial arts badasses Tony Jaa and Ronda Rousey appear in small but supportive roles. Crazy stunts and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson— what else does one need for Double Punch Goodness? Some odd edits and a longish runtime subtract a few points— entertainments! (5/7)

on BluRay and DVD:

The Criterion Collection Zatoichi box set. Awesome box and booklet art by favorite ink drawer Yuko Shimizu and other notables. Includes a must see doc which shows how wacky Shintaro Katsu was during the filming of the TV series. This box set contains all the feature films less “Darkness Is His Ally” which is the weakest of the films. Binge watch one of the greatest film series of all. (100/100)

Guardians of the Galaxy

2014-08-04T14:44:00.001-07:00

(2014) James Gunn

All Ibcan say is: Double Punch!
(7/7)

The Raid 2

2014-04-24T23:11:00.001-07:00

(2014) Gareth Evans

Iko Uwais, Yayan Ruhian and Gareth Evans have put together another fine Silat-based CQC martial arts battlefest. Some memorable character performaces, excellent fight choreography, and blood in the Indonesian snow. The plot and story are meandering but the fights are islands of action and save this from being a contrived and tortuous journey. I hope to see Iko Uwais continue making badass Silat flicks.

(6/7) cos it is a frickin Silat movie!

On DVD and the stream: The Battery; and RESOLUTION

2014-02-27T23:27:00.002-08:00

The Battery
(2012) Jeremy Gardner

This is a damn fine independent (low budget) zombie film. Great lensing, nice sound design, solid plot and believable performances. This is a zombie movie I would have loved to make.

Two baseball players cruising across America, survivin', doin' stuff, gettin' sauced, zombies.
Highly recommend. Hint I will reveal nothing because this flick is actually that good.

(7/7)

Official site

Hay Tales to Terrify listeners! Oh, you didn't expect this blog to actually be good did you? Hah I warned you. . . I don't even use complete sentences. . . .

And now:

Resolution (2012)
Justin Benson and Aaron Scott Moorhead

This is a scary Lovecraftian tale of a man who goes out into the dry scrubland mountains of Southern California to forcefully detox his meth-using friend. Weird things begin to happen and then weirder things.

This is the most "truly Lovecraftian" movie I have seen in a long time. Some of the performances are a bit uneven but the sense of dread that builds throughout the movie is remarkable. Nice social commentary in spots and some cool, creepy, phantasmagorical film elements rooted in the darkest hillside thickets and valleys of the Mythos.

I really wish I made this movie!Prepare to be creeped out!

(6/7)

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The Lego Movie

2014-02-17T11:25:00.002-08:00

(2014) Phil Lord and Chris Miller

This CG animated Lego movie is fun and subversive. The Lego blocks look pretty real and it feels like Stop motion animation. There are human generated sound effects. Funny and fun for the whole family. Double PUNCH!

Oh yeah this is probably the best Batman movie yet made.

(6/7)

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Vampire Academy

2014-02-17T11:19:00.000-08:00

(2014) Mark Waters

Well. . . Vampire Academy trys really hard to make a fun and somewhat original teen vampire movie with some humor. Does it succeed? It is no Mean Girls.

Zoey Deutch is awesome and there are some decent double punch moments. There is also a cat in it.

(4/7)

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Monuments Men

2014-02-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

(2014) George Clooney

George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bob Balaban, whoa that is a cast.

This "true story" of the United States soldiers charged with protecting and recovering artwork and items stolen by the Nazi's during the war looks great and has a great cast. Sadly this film seems a bit boring. A bit bland. There are some nice scenes but there is an uneven, methodical, plod to the work that brings somberness but little else. I kept waiting for all these great actors to be let out of their cages to shine. It did not happen. Brilliant casting of Nick Clooney as Old George Clooney.

(3/7)

True Detective (On the Cables)

2014-02-17T11:07:00.001-08:00

(2014) Nic Pizzolatto

A Southern boy tells a Chambersian/ Ligottiian/ Lovecraftian crime story with style and skill and Matthew McConaughey is at his career best in this HBO series. Woody Harrelson does a fine job also. This show is deep, tightly scripted and shot, tightly plotted and is genuinely scary. In fact this show gave me some Robert Chambers nightmares. Scary ones. The State of Louisiana also stars. Watch

(6/7)

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Pontypool (On DVD and Streaming)

2014-02-17T10:58:00.002-08:00

(2008) Bruce McDonald

Pontypool is a horror movie that uses a very Lovecraftian approach to tell the story of a bizarre alien outbreak. The infectious agent is something that Abdul Al-Hazred would have understood.

Stephen McHattie plays a former shock-jock who becomes the host of a small town radio show that is on the air when crisis strikes the town. This movie plays with building dread without physically revealing what is actually happening. This is a "closed room" story and it does a good job building suspense and evokes the storytelling of good radio drama. The explanation of causation of the outbreak is thoroughly original. . . Watch it.

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Now For Something Completely Different . . . .

2013-11-19T11:20:00.003-08:00

I haven't posted in a while but I have been watching movies.

Here is a list of what I have been watching on DVD: Life of Pi; Idiocracy; Silver Linings Playbook; Les Miserables; Ong Bak 3; The Spiderwick Chronicles; Stripes; Silverado; Last Life in the Universe; Zeitgeist; Cave of Forgotten Dreams; Tokyo-ga; Bones Brigade: An Autobiography; The Tempest; The Pirates of Penzance; Max Headroom; Titan A.E.; McCabe and Mrs. Miller; Meek's Cutoff; The Assassination of Jesse James; Constantine; Eastern Promises; and Waterworld!

Some good stuff. Some less good stuff. I have been on a Western kick lately. I recommend Silverado and McCabe and Mrs. Miller as the classic "New" westerns they are. Last Life in the Universe is a great Thai movie from 2003 (directed by Pen-Ek Ratanaruang) starring Tadanobu Asano and Sinitta Boonyasak. I highly recommend it.

Cave of Forgotten Dreams is a documentary on Chauvet Cave's amazing prehistoric art by Werner Herzog. It is really cool to see the amazing artwork.

The Assassination of Jesse James has nice elements but Brad Pitt is only fair and the movie suffers from bloat in my view.

Tokyo-ga is worth watching as is the Bones Brigade doc.

I'll get back to actual reviews soon. . . .

Pacific Rim

2013-07-17T11:00:00.004-07:00

(2013) Guillermo Del Toro

Ah Guillermo Del Toro strikes again. Idris Elba, Charlie Hunnam, Rinko Kikuchi and giant monsters from another dimension. What else need be said? Well, OK actually other than riffing on a million and one (read: Shadow of the Colossus) video game superboss monsters and the idea of retooling the classic Gojira/ Kaiju and Giant Battling Robots (Mecha) mythos-- this movie is descent. The core story and performances are solid but the weakest, most aggravating element is the "mascot-esque" humorous performances of the "scientist" characters. They were essentially stepping of each others lines and muddling the dialogue with yelling and frenetic nonsense. It really detracted from the film. Bummer. Other than that there is some good action and a basically interestingly realized future where mankind faces a monstrous threat from beyond.

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Jiro Dreams of Sushi On DVD

2013-06-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

(2011) David Gelb

Jiro Dreams of Sushi is a documentary portrait of world renown sushi chef Ono Jiro and his sushi chef sons. Jiro has a $300.00 a plate sushi room which requires patrons to make reservations a month in advance. He is one of the few Michelin 3 star sushi chefs in the world. This is an engaging documentary which features a good deal of information on how sushi is made, on the ingredients which go into making sushi and the business of sushi. Journeys to the Fish Market to purchase seafood are particularly interesting. The different people that help to support Jiro through their expertise with seafood and are similarly supported by him (through his purchases) are an interesting contrast to Jiro himself. There are discussions with his sons (one who runs his own, less expensive "mirror version" of Jiro's operation, and one who will succeed Jiro) and with reporters and critics who offer a great deal of insight into why Jiro is so successful. If you want to see a documentary about hard work paying off this is it!

Official Site

Ironman 3 and On DVD: Ride With the Devil

2013-05-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

Ironman 3
(2013, Shane Black)

Robert Downey Jr. is back as Tony Stark in Marvel's third installment in the Ironman series. Marvel Studios has done a good job of re-tooling their properties in an effort to bring comics to cinema in a way that doesn't piss off fans-- Bravo Marvel! This movie is very much like first film in that the audience gets to see that what makes Ironman special is not the technology but Tony Stark's amazing intellect. This movie was fun and the best thing about it is Ben Kingsley's very fine performance. I strongly recommend checking this out if only to have a chuckle at Sir Ben Kingsley, CBE. (5/7)

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Ride With the Devil (Criterion)
(1999, Ang Lee)

Ang Lee's Civil War epic about Southern skirmishes, Jayhawkers, and Bushwackers is really a meditation on brotherhood, love, and the power of circumstance and less of an historical examination of an aspect of the Civil War not usually brought to film. Outstanding performances by Geoffrey Wright as the slave Holt, who chooses to stay by his friend who freed him and follow him as he fights a guerrilla war against the Union, and Tobey Maguire as Jake Roedel, a young man of German descent who chooses to support the South rather than the Union as many other recent German immigrants were doing at the time. Skeet Ulrich, Jewel Kilcher, Simon Baker, Mark Ruffalo, Jim Caviezel, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers all put in fine performances. A solid film well shot with an appropriate soundtrack. Filming on location in Kansas and Missouri adds authenticity. (5/7)

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On DVD: John Dies in the End

2013-02-16T16:46:00.001-08:00

(2012, Don Coscarelli)

In the spirit of House II (1987) and Big Trouble in Little China (1986) comes the irreverent reverence that is John Dies at the End. Don Coscarelli (Bubba Ho Tep) is a "horror" director better known for the Phantasm movies. This however is an extracosmic psychedelic mash-up of a film that has a lot of nice qualities that echo Hellraiser and Gremlins in some ways. Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes star as Dave and John two unlikely heroes who gain various mental abilities through exposure to the living drug/ organism Soy Sauce and battle the extradimensional forces of darkness. I shouldn't say much more. John Carpenter's They Live is also similarly related to perception and things unseen just beneath the surface of apparent reality and good versus evil. So watch and think about Gremlins, and Hellraiser, and They Live, and House II: The Second Story, and Evil Dead II and Big Trouble in Little China and then realize that Paul Giamatti was a producer on this movie. What does all that have to do with anything? Dunno. Maybe this is a pilot for a TV series. . . . (5/7)

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David Wong

On DVD: Bunraku

2013-01-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

(2010, Guy Moshe)

Bunraku is a very original futuristic noirish fantastic western with swords and bushido ethos which is utterly theatrical and bizarre. Starring Josh Hartnett, Kevin McKidd (Rome), Woody Harrelson, Ron Perlman, Japan's music star Gackt and super hot Emily Kaiho, with Demi Moore, Immortal legend Shun Sugata (Ichi the Killer, Last Samurai, Izo) and voice over by Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, etc.) Great sets and concepts, good fight choreography, and good performances but this film may be too weird for some people. (5/7)

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Argo

2013-01-03T11:27:00.003-08:00

(2012, Ben Affleck)

Ben Affleck bothers me. It is probably entirely due to the fact that he played Daredevil the Marvel Comics character in the terrible movie of the same name. Horrible. Also he was in another unvarnished turd of a film: Phantoms (1998). I do not care what anyone says Phantoms is a horrible Dean Koontz adaptation and a horrible movie and Ben Affleck is bad in it. That said here is my review:

John Goodman and Alan Arkin are awesome. This is a tightly scripted, tense thriller which really works. This is a fun ride. There are a few weak conventions here and there but on balance a solid film. Well done Mr. Damon, er Mr. Affleck-- well done. And it's based on a true story! Go USA!

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Django Unchained

2013-01-03T11:17:00.001-08:00

(2012, Quentin Tarantino)

Quentin Tarantino has come on a long, varied journey since Reservoir Dogs (1992) and Pulp Fiction (1994). The ride has been mostly enjoyable with a few missteps here and there. I was not a fan of Inglorious Basterds (2009) though aspects of it are great. The greatest thing about that film was the incomparably good Christoph Waltz. It is around Christoph Waltz's fine performance that Django Unchained revolves. Jaime Foxx is decent as Django and there are some nice nods and cameos as well as some fun character actor performances but it is the truly sensitive acting of Waltz that keeps the cheese of Django at bay-- at least until the end. The pulpy grindhouse vibe is clearly what Tarantino is enamored with and generally it works. A gorefest Peckinpah might appreciate. Virtually no nudity and a view of slavery that, while heightened and hyperbolized, does not hide from the absolute horror that was slavery in the 1860's South. There is good social commentary here, beneath the surface, and I've no doubt many people will not be able to handle Django on many levels. The ubiquitous use of the "n" word may inspire drinking games. . . .

This is a western and it works as a western. The music is good when it is morriconian and not good when it is anachronistically rap laden-- not because hip hop can't work or the songs are not ok-- it is simply because it is distracting. So what did I really think? Jamie Foxx is fine. Christoph Waltz is awesome. I liked seeing Tom Savini, Zoë Bell, and Michael Parks hidden in there and Franco Nero was a nice add among others. Location shooting in Louisiana worked as the South but Southern California will never look like anywhere but California. Just one question: why does SoCal's Leo DiCaprio always play southerners? At least Brad Pitt is from Oklahoma/Missouri. . . ha ha
(6/7)

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Skyfall and Cloud Atlas

2012-11-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

Skyfall
(2012, Sam Mendes)

Daniel Craig returns in another solid James Bond film. Not a whole lot of new territory is covered but Javier Bardem is always awesome as a bad guy. This film strips things back to a simpler more traditional Bond adventure. (6/7)

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Cloud Atlas
(2012, Tom Twyker and The Wachowskis)

This could have been so cool. The trailer made me cry. Then I watched the movie. It has its moments and the idea of using the same actors and actresses for all the rolls was an interesting one-- but the gimmick was distracting. Not especially amazing nor moving. The acting overall was decent and there were especially good performances from Doona Bae and Xun Zhou. It seems like this film could have been edited differently and it might have had more resonance. Hrm. (4/7)

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Taichi Zero and Pitch Perfect

2012-10-28T11:39:00.001-07:00

Taichi 0
(2012, Stephen Fung)

A fun first part of a multi-part series this film features a cast of classic wuxia actors and some new faces from the world of wushu competition and taichi. This is billed as a steam-punk influenced epic but it really more of a fantasy in the tradition of Scott Pilgrim style game influenced editing. There are some wonderful performances and smart editing but there are also a lot of weak moments that distract from the forward movement of the plot. Hopefully part two is better. Definitely worth seeing with your favorite beverage and a bowl of popcorn. Angelababy is capable as the love interest and wushu competitor and new comer Yuan Xiaochao does a great job. Tony Leung Fa Kai is one of China's great actors Wei Ai Xuan is awesome as a the little taichi master girl. (5/7)

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Pitch Perfect
(2012, Jason Moore)

Uh, this Anna Kendrick collegiate acapella competition movie is fun. I liked it. Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) is extra solid. All the singing is decent and some nice 80's Breakfast Club nods. Skylar Astin is suitably not annoying as the male lead. At times very funny and occasionally moving this movie did not suck. (6/7)

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