STOP EMOTIONAL OVEREATING! Tame Your Chew! Dr Denise's Chew Tamer's Blog

Change what you can – accept what you can’t

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:11:00 +0000

In Alcoholics Anonymous participants recite a very powerful prayer called The Serenity Prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Members ask their higher power to help them change the things in their lives they can; to accept those things they cannot change and to have the wisdom to know the difference. Many of us would like to change things in our lives that can be changed but we don’t think we can do it. There are things in our lives that cannot be changed but still we keep beating our heads against the wall stubbornly trying to change those. We do this to ourselves. Why?

Why are we so often discontent? Why do we attempt to do the impossible and then beat ourselves up when we are unsuccessful? Life really doesn’t need to be this hard. Things get easier when we begin to pay attention to what we feel and really listen to the messages our feelings transmit. We know if we feel good we are making the right choices. If we feel bad, we have strayed from the path we want to be walking.

Guide yourself gently back onto your path. In your heart, you (and only you) know the way. warmest wishes, Dr. Denise

It Takes a Little Courage to Stop Overeating

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 22:22:00 +0000

Throughout my life I struggled with anxiety and depression. I went through the gamut of eating disorders, surviving anorexia, seven years of bulimia, followed by binge eating, and extreme obesity. I was all over the map emotionally and physically. I was homeless for a period of time and eventually married and gave birth to three children. Still, I suffered and there was no end in sight to my self- destructive behaviors. I was living my life in service of everybody else and neglecting myself but I didn’t realize this.

I arrived in my adulthood driven to take care of everyone around me. Translated, this meant I needed to control them. If I saw someone failing to do what I thought was best, I would rush to the rescue. I thought I knew what was best for everyone. I was wrong.

One day it occurred to me that taking everyone's pain away and minding other people's business might not actually be my job. If I was spending my time minding other peoples’ business, who was minding mine? No, my job was to respect and love them but also to validate their choices and their feelings. I learned I also had to love, respect, and validate myself. This was a revelation! It seemed remarkable that I could begin to pay attention to myself. A novel and frightening idea! I resisted because I was afraid people wouldn't love me if I wasn't hovering with concern and advice. Again I was wrong.

But how to change?

How could I, a woman with low self-esteem and no confidence in my early twenties, find what I needed to jump-start my way into a different life experience? I was an unhealthy, overweight, overworked young mother of three. How was I going to find the vitality and enthusiasm that I so badly needed for each day? How could I convert a worrier's persona into that of a “warrior”? How could I become brave? It was going to take many steps, mostly forward; but I also needed to know there would be some slipping and sliding backward in the process. I had no idea what to do.

Then I took a big risk. My kick-start and one of the first steps toward my empowerment was learning to ride an off-road motorcycle, something I had always wanted to do. (OK, call me crazy.) I placed my large derriere on top of a very fast motorcycle and challenged myself to become an off-road motorcycle racer. I didn't want to be just a woman riding a bike; I wanted to ride well, fast, and ultimately race. The idea seemed preposterous at the onset, but, as I began to ride–at first very slowly and cautiously–I discovered a whole new me hiding inside. Suddenly the world seemed different. I felt more powerful, more adventurous, and I began to build confidence and value myself more than I imagined possible.

The thought of being on a motorcycle was preposterous at the time. I was extremely overweight, always tired, and often depressed. I was scared and lacked confidence. However, I had this picture in my mind of flying down the woodland trails, weaving from side to side with a big smile on my face as I negotiated the twists and turns of the terrain. Most of the time, it wasn't that easy or romantic. In fact it wasn’t like that at all. My vision certainly did not match reality.

I spent more time on the ground, in the mud, or under my bike than I did on top of it. I had to wear long sleeves and pants to cover my bruises. Then I noticed that each time I rode, I stayed upright a little longer than I had before. I wore tall leather boots, a belt to protect my kidneys, lots of padding, and thick gloves. Eventually, I learned how to cross railroad tracks and logs. Soon I could negotiate deep water holes without falling (at least most of the time). Each trail, power line, or mud hole I encountered presented a new challenge. Racing became a metaphor for my life. Gradually, I was able to apply my new self-confidence to everyday challenges. Of course I still had a long way to go. There were times I was flying along through life with a big smile; at other times, I felt as I did before: stuck in deep mud or upside-down off the trail with my bike on top of me.

As the months and years slid by, I noticed trail-riding was less painful. Focusing on the trail ahead and my performance took my mind off the more difficult aspects of daily life. I began to feel more alive and less anxious and depressed. I became more confident and discovered my progress riding the trail paralleled my progress in life. I noticed I was having more fun–both on and off my motorcycle.

Surely this was about much more than just sitting on a bike! Actually, each ride propelled me into a more positive frame of mind. As my skills on my bike improved, I felt more competent in my role as wife, mother, daughter, and employee. I was more conscious of how I treated my body, and this led to taking better care of my mind and spirit, as well. Please note: I'm not saying this one act of motorcycling provided me with a magic answer or that my path was miraculously transformed into a positive, productive one. I am saying it was a start, a kick start.

Now I feel too old to race. I don’t have the quick reflexes that I had 30 years ago. But the lessons of living my life courageously, keeping myself and my own needs in focus have never faded. I now enjoy my life. Anxiety and depression may creep in around the edges at times, but that is the way life is for any human being and no one can feel fabulous every minute. For the most part however, my life is balanced, healthy and joyful! I wish everyone the same!

Happy New Year and be sure to get your autographed copy of The Appetite Connection. It will help you move into 2012 with renewed vigor and joy!

Many Blessings! Dr. Denise

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Happiest of Holidays from Dr. Denise and Sapphi

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 10:01:00 +0000

This time of year brings many opportunities and one of those opportunities is to over eat. We may think we are only going to have one piece of mom’s apple pie or cheesecake but how many of us are content to stop there? That pie often opens the floodgates of craving and many of us have spent holiday season after holiday season telling ourselves to have just one little treat and instead binge our way through not only the holiday season but also well beyond the New Year.

I am frequently asked for tips on how to get through this time of year without the self-abuse of over eating and over drinking. Here are a couple of ideas to help you through:

Reserve time each day just for yourself. Along with the hustle and bustle of holiday time come extra tasks that compete for your time and energy – decorating, baking, choosing, buying and wrapping presents, writing thoughtful cards to friends and loved ones, etc. We may find ourselves rushing around taking care of everyone and everything but ourselves. We each need to find a way to make time for ourselves. If we don’t, we become overtired, overwhelmed and consequently likely to over-feed ourselves as a way to cope with holiday stress.

If we set aside moments here and there to nurture ourselves, we are far more likely to take care of ourselves in healthy ways all season long. When we take the very best care of ourselves, we are better equipped to attend to the needs of those around us. We are more relaxed, more balanced and more energetic. Holiday time can be more fun and less like an exhausting commercial marathon.

When you attend a holiday party, allow yourself to eat some healthy protein, fat and complex carbohydrates beforehand to avoid arriving with your appetite in overdrive. Sip on water with lemon and steer yourself towards the healthier choices at the buffet table. As a result you will be less apt to fill yourself with sugars and simple carbohydrates. And remember that alcohol is basically sugar. It is different however, because not only does it tend to spark sugar cravings but it also removes inhibitions and hampers good judgment. When you drink, you care less whether something is a self-loving choice and are liable to binge your way mindlessly through the evening. And you already know how that feels.

One strategy many of my clients have found helpful is this: Write a reminder note to yourself on a small card that you can carry in your pocket or purse. On this card you might say something like, “Reminder to self: Breathe. I am making self-loving choices tonight. I choose to feed myself well. I will not give my power away to unhealthy foods and drinks. I deserve to nurture myself.” Then every hour or so, take a little break and find a quiet spot. (Restrooms are ideal.) Pull out your card and read the reminders. This practice will keep you in balance and you will arrive home at the end of the night feeling relaxed and powerful instead of ashamed, guilty and physically ill.

So please enjoy the spirit of this time of year. Do only what you truly want to do and decline needless chores, chaos and calories. Make this the best holiday season ever by taking the very best care of yourself. Keep yourself number one. You’re worth it!

By the way, The Appetite Connection is now available on Kindle for your instant enjoyment. And did you know that all books purchased via my online store are personally signed by me before they are sent your way? How cool is that?!

Please join and "like" me on Facebook! Thanks....

Sapphi and I wish you and your loved ones many, many holiday blessings!
Warmly, Dr. Denise

Connect with Yourself at Holiday Time

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:48:00 +0000

It may be the season to be jolly but for many it is a difficult and frightening time. It is that time of year when social occasions abound and we are faced with so many food choices it can be overwhelming. Navigating your way through the holiday festivities is a challenge to be sure!

Have you ever really paid attention to how focused our culture is on food? Virtually every occasion we experience has food as a central theme.

Think of Thanksgiving without turkey and pumpkin pie or Easter without candy eggs. How about Valentine’s Day with no chocolate, birthdays or weddings with no cake or even meetings without refreshment breaks? How often do we get together with friends without including food? We ask people to meet us for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner. We invite them over for coffee or a drink. When was the last time someone asked you to get together just to spend time enjoying each other’s company? Food is everywhere and a part of nearly every occasion.

How can we take care of ourselves in this food-oriented culture? How can we socialize with friends, celebrate holidays and birthdays, go to fine restaurants and relax about it? How can we manage to enjoy ourselves, eat only some of what is offered and feel satisfied? How can we survive this constant exposure to food? If we eat too much, the result is anxiety and we will want to eat to medicate this feeling. If we eat too little, we feel deprived and set ourselves up to binge later. If we have weight to lose, we feel anxious about that and if we have lost the weight we wanted to lose, we feel anxious that we will gain it back. (Many people report that they find it much harder to maintain weight loss than to lose the weight in the first place.) So we eat because we have not lost weight and we eat because we have lost weight. What a dilemma! At either end of the scale, anxiety lurks and if we don’t know healthy ways to cope with the anxiety, we eat.

It is impossible to be harmonious, balanced and content all the time in social situations or in life in general. If we feel too successful or unsuccessful, for example, we find ourselves off balance and anxious. Anytime things are a little too “good” or a little too “bad” we find ourselves racing to the refrigerator in search of something to help us find emotional balance. We mistakenly think food can provide this for us. It cannot. Only we have the power to cope with our own difficult feelings as we negotiate our way along our own life’s path.

All this can be very confusing and discouraging. Whatever holidays you may celebrate, remember to keep your needs in the foreground and to nurture yourself. Even in settings where opportunities to sabotage yourself abound and your “Chew” is screaming for “treats,” you do not have to feel helpless and victimized. Give yourself time before you go out to sit, close your eyes, listen to your internal guidance system, connect with your appetite and breathe. Think through the event and decide how you will approach it. Be mindful once you arrive and make as many self-loving, conscious choices as you can. Enjoy whatever you do choose to eat and never, under any circumstances, beat yourself up. Remind yourself that you are in charge of you – not your “Chew” and remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. So try to relax and be gentle with yourself. The more you nurture yourself in other ways, breathe and remind yourself that you have conscious choices to make every moment, the less important food will become.

warmly,

Dr. Denise

Hot off the Press! The Appetite Connection

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 14:47:00 +0000

As many of you already know, I was a homeless college drop-out, survived multiple eating disorders, and raced motorcycles while single-parenting three children. Misery and depression were my binging companions. I know what it’s like to yo-yo diet, fill with shame, cry my heart out and resolve to do it better next time, only to fail again and again and feel worse and worse.

I am thrilled now to present to you The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For. This book is for you and about you (and me too). It is about how we have been victimized in today’s culture and about how to take charge of our bodies and our lives NOW.

Perhaps you were urged to mold yourself into a shape that you will never achieve. Maybe you were invalidated and learned that your feelings and thoughts were of no importance. Chances are that you were humiliated at times and learned to protect yourself by pushing your emotions deep inside. Instead of being taught how absolutely precious you are, you learned that you were faulty in some way. That is not true. You are perfect just as you are. You will never be able to do everything perfectly at all times – that is not the human way – but you are a perfect being none the less.

My position is that we have all been damaged in some ways during our lifetimes. The beautiful light within each of us has been hidden under a blanket of fear. We grow up thinking that we are not good enough and we work harder to prove our worth to others to garner their approval. We think if we can get others to admire us, we will know that we are good. We focus outside of ourselves searching for direction and approval instead of looking within and trusting ourselves to know what is best. This tactic will never help us blossom into the energetic, joyful spirits that we are deep inside.

Each of the six steps explained in my “hot off the press” book has been designed to help you understand why you have been behaving as you have and then to help you reconnect with your spirit. You are then free to create the life of your personal dreams – a truly delicious life (delicious, as defined by The Encyclopedia Britannica Company, Merriam Webster, means “affording great pleasure” and your life should be exactly that – a life of pure pleasure). The Appetite Connection is about gratitude, hope and healing.

I highlight physical, emotional, social, spiritual and environmental aspects of self-destructive behavior and offer you many possible suggestions for change. What you choose to do with this information will be unique to you. There is no one answer, no one right way. You are a distinct being – precious and loveable. My hope is that you will realize just how magnificent you truly are!

To learn more about my revolutionary new work visit http://www.theappetiteconnection.com/ .

Happy Thanksgiving!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:34:00 +0000

Am I the only one amazed that it is holiday time once again? It seems that summer just wrapped up last month and we were welcoming the splendor of autumn. Now we are busily planning for Thanksgiving and other festive occasions that arrive soon after the turkey leftovers have been gobbled up. (I noticed that this week my local supermarket is featuring a display of snow shovels right inside the main entrance!)

Have you noticed that as each year passes time seems to accelerate and the seasons fly by more rapidly than ever before? Keeping up with the responsibilities of each season is stressful. Even the “fun” things – all the festivities, the decorating, getting together with friends and family can mean added stress. So, as always, I write to remind you to take the very best care of yourself possible this holiday season.

Because this time of year can be particularly stressful it is vital that we nurture our positive relationships and talk with loving family and friends whenever we can. Being able to vent our frustrations or share our triumphs with someone who cares about us helps us feel connected. Being overly busy may complicate this at times however, and we may feel lonely and isolated if we don’t maintain those important ties through the busiest times.

Identify people who can help you to thrive during the holiday season, or any time. Find people who will listen and not judge you or feed you advice that you definitely don’t want or need. Talk to a buddy – a human one, a pet, or a favorite stuffed animal. I find that when folks are stressed, lonely, tired, sad, etc. they are often tempted to race for a fix of sugars and carbohydrates to calm themselves down and take the edge off their feelings. Contact your buddy instead and talk about what’s eating you.

None of us are immune to the pressures of the holiday season. This time of year brings many opportunities and one of those opportunities is to over indulge. We may think we are only going to have one piece of mom’s apple pie or cheesecake but how many of us are content to stop there? For some of us that pie may open the floodgates of craving and many of us have spent holiday season after holiday season telling ourselves to have just one little treat and finding ourselves instead overeating through not only the holiday season but also well beyond the New Year. Our lives are demanding and to live each day to the fullest requires dedication and energy. If we overindulge instead of taking care of ourselves, we are likely to find even small tasks daunting. We can easily slip out of balance and we don’t feel well. Overdoing in any area of our lives leads to lethargy and we lose the sparkle, zest and vitality required to make each day vibrant and memorable.

Enjoy your day!!! Blessings, Dr. Denise

Are You Distracted?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 11:35:00 +0000

Dear Blog Friends.... So sorry to take so long to write trhis time. I have been buried with plans to launch The Appetite Connection.... Although not nationally launched as yet, it will be on sale soon and you will be the firsts to know! Thank you for your continued patience....

By focusing on our weight and our appearance and by numbing our feelings with food, we keep our minds distracted. Millions of women are constantly preoccupied with thoughts of food, their bodies and their weight and I have wondered, “What would all these women be thinking about if their minds and their energy were not occupied worrying about what they eat and how they look?” A good question, I think. Would women be more likely to set and achieve goals, to empower themselves in some way, to assume more prominent roles in our society? Would there be more programs created designed to eliminate injustices in the world? Would there be less domestic violence? I wonder. What do you suppose you would be thinking about if not food and your weight?

Take a few minutes to consider this question. Close your eyes. Slowly take a few very deep breaths and think about how often you are focused on your eating behavior and your appearance. Think about what things you would rather expend your energy thinking about. Note any thoughts that pass through your mind. Notice any areas of interest or conflict that emerge. Ask yourself what you can do to develop one of those interests or to resolve one conflict. Sit with these thoughts for a few moments. When you feel finished, you can open your eyes and return to the book. What is important here is not that you discovered a long list of interests to pursue or conflicted situations to remedy.

What is helpful is that you took time to go inside of yourself and to notice your thought process. You may not have noticed any interests or conflicts emerging. That is fine. The exercise is merely to remind you that there are other things in life besides food and appearance to occupy your mind. Use this exercise every so often to take a look at your priorities. If you are consumed (no pun intended) with thoughts of food and your appearance, this exercise can help you to put those worrisome thoughts into perspective.

On Monday, October 24th - Dr. Denise Lamothe, Clinical Psychologist, Dr. of Holistic Health and author of The Appetite Connection was on Susan Gorman’s show, Psychic Stories to discuss over-eating, self-care, and how to achieve a healthy relationship with food and the body you long for in six steps. Tune in and enjoy this entertaining, amusing and unusual interview with Dr. Denise.

http://audio.wscafm.org/hourlies/WSCA_10-24-2011_09-00.mp3

Enjoy! I promise more soon!
warmest wishes,
Dr Denise

What do you really look like?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 14:14:00 +0000

It is hard to just be ourselves. For years, many of us have tried, usually with little or no success, to portray a certain image and we have been brainwashed into looking outside of ourselves to decide exactly what that image is. We have been told how to dress and how to feel about it.

I recall being in seventh grade and feeling simultaneously excited and nervous about starting ballroom dancing classes. Shortly before the first lesson, my mother presented me with a garter belt, nylon stockings, a girdle and a long line bra. Imagine that! Seventh grade and already I had to fuss to hide every bulge and jiggle. My emotions, as I recall, were mixed. Partly I was excited to make my grand entrance into this mysterious grown up world and partly I was horrified. I remember the flesh of my thighs overflowing the tight little stocking tops and I remember smiling through my misery as I tried to look absolutely beautiful gliding across the dance floor.

What was to be a magical, wonderful experience turned into a strained and difficult one. Did you ever find yourself in such a predicament? Were you ever dressed to match an image that didn’t quite fit? Are you still doing that? My wish is that each of us value who we are and how we look. Be yourself. Be real. You are lovely as you are!

Please visit my store when you have a chance. new products are appearing all the time and this month we are introducing a new tip booklet: Happy Halloween Hints - Tricks not Treats

Want to share my excitement with you. My latest book, The Appetite Connection will be available for sale in about 2 weeks now. I am thrilled and optimistic that many of you will find the answers you are seeking within its’ pages. I hope you will read it and let me know what you think. Feedback is always welcome.

And please visit my Facebook page and "like" it so you will know the minute The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and The Body You Long For is hot off the press!

Be well and have a magnificent day! Dr. Denise

Robotic Eating and Weight Gain

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:59:00 +0000

This little figure on the left is simply called "Appetite". (You will learn much more about her/him in my latest book, The Appetite Connection.)

In both The Taming of the Ch ew: A Holistic Guide to Stopping Compulsive Eating and The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For, I discuss habitual eating…. Or robotic eating. It is helpful to understand what this behavior is, how it is connected to your Appetite and how to move on.

Most of us eat “robotically” at times. Sometimes we eat and don’t even realize we are eating – the biting, chewing and swallowing have become automatic. When we perform any behavior for a period of time, it becomes automatic. It is performed without conscious thought. Remember the first time you drove? You’d studied the traffic laws and watched the films in class. The first time you got behind the wheel and the instructor told you to start the car, you had to think of each detail. You had to pay close attention. You thought about putting the key into the ignition, placing your left foot on the clutch and your right one on the brake or gas, shifting into the appropriate gear, and then turning the key to the right. It felt strange and unfamiliar. It did not take long, however, for these behaviors to become automatic. Today, you most likely hop into your car and go without giving any of these details a conscious thought. You know how to drive. The motions have become automatic. Your subconscious is fully aware, however, to ensure you succeed at starting the car. And of course you must still be extremely conscious of being on the road and of other vehicles.

The same phenomenon takes place with our eating behavior and at a much younger age. As infants we cry for many reasons – perhaps we have an uncomfortable, wet diaper or a pain somewhere in our little body. We can’t speak to tell our caretakers what is wrong and they often respond to our cries by putting a bottle or breast into our mouths. So we learn through this that crying brings us oral gratification. We quickly learn to associate food with comfort. We don’t even have to think about it. It is automatic. We feel “bad,” we reach for food. We experience discomfort of any kind, we eat.

As adults, if we feel “better” eating chocolate when we are upset about something, it doesn’t take long for eating chocolate to become an automatic response when we want to feel better – and who doesn’t frequently have times when they want to feel better? If we begin to eat snacks at night in front of our television sets, again, it can quickly become a thoughtless habit. Many women eat automatically when preparing meals for their families. They “taste” as they prepare supper and when the actual meal is ready, have already eaten more than enough. They then sit down with their family members and eat the full supper they have prepared for everybody else. The “before dinner food” was eaten automatically and barely noticed. They don’t realize they have eaten the equivalent of two or three dinners and are truly surprised when the scale reflects their actions.

Another common situation in which people eat without consciousness is while driving. People who spend a lot of time on the road often find, if and when they notice, that they have been eating and eating and eating as they have been driving along. The snacking has become so automatic that it is virtually unnoticed. For most of us, food is readily accessible and easy to grab, especially fast foods and junk foods. Unhealthy food behaviors are easy to develop and impossible to change unless we are aware of them. How often do you “automatically” stop by the candy machine at work? How often do you eat and later feel surprised to notice you had eaten so much? How often do you engage in conversation with a dinner partner and finish your meal without having been aware of your food or the experience of eating? What are some of your patterns of automatic eating? Possibly you have been eating a great deal of food in this “robotic” way, barely noticing that you have been putting it into your mouth. Be assured, however, that although you may not be noticing what you are doing, your body is noticing, the calories are adding up, and the numbers on the scale are continuing to rise.

Sit down and think about times you may be engaging in robotic behavior. and write down any automatic eating that you have become aware of. Next, make a plan to change one behavior. For example, if you realize that you have been munching while preparing dinner, make a choice to sip a large glass of lemon and water as you cook instead. In this way, you eliminate a behavior that is hazardous while substituting a healthy one. If you discover that you snack frequently while driving, choose not to bring food into your car anymore. Try this exercise often to see how many changes you can think of to make over time. Then make a plan to change them one at a time – gradually and slowly.

Another way to bring robotic eating into conscious awareness is to write down everything you eat during a one week period. Keeping a diary like this for a brief period can help you bring unconscious eating behavior into your conscious mind. A word of caution is necessary here. Do not keep a food diary longer than a few weeks. If you do, you may become more rigid and focused on food. You may find yourself more obsessed with your diet than ever. This is counterproductive, so use your diary briefly and once you become aware of ways you have been using food automatically, you can make different choices. Then you will understand your Appetite and you will be in control.

For those of you in the north east, my new book, The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For will be launched on October 18th at 7 PM at Water Street Books in Exeter, NH. We will have a short talk, refreshments, a signing and lots of fun. Please join me there if you can make it! I would love to see you!

Postponing a Binge

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 22:30:00 +0000

Eating issues are frustrating to say the least! There are times they won’t be too important and other times when they feel overwhelming. Please understand, this is not unique to you. Most people struggle from time to time. Sometimes the urge to binge will be strong and those cookies will be calling your name. You may or you may not choose to grab a handful!

Whatever you choose, the idea is to break the pattern of mindless eating. Give yourself time to breathe. Be creative. Relax, exercise, have fun and then re-evaluate your need to binge. You will often find that you feel good about yourself for making this effort and the powerful urge to eat has subsided. At other times you will still feel the urge to eat but it may not be quite as strong and you may be able to resist it. As suggested in The Taming of the Chew, make a list of alternative behaviors and choose one to engage you as a way of moving away from the urge to eat. If you still feel like binging after 15 or 20 minutes doing something else, you can always continue the activity you were doing or choose another activity from your list to further postpone a binge. Usually at that point you will feel in control and the urges will have subsided.

If not, however, and you choose to eat, please take a minute to decide what you will have. Choose your behavior and make a plan to take care of yourself in the aftermath. Remember, no matter what, do not punish yourself for choosing to take care of yourself with food this one time. At other times you can and will choose different ways to behave. No one is perfect and we all make less than self-loving choices at times. Occasionally your Chew is bound to win. This is true for all of us and it’s OK!

Please remember to join me on Facebook!

Have a fabulous day! Dr. Denise

See Your Whole Self

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 09:54:00 +0000

Do you ever really see your whole self? People often report that they avoid looking in full length mirrors and they hurry past their reflection if it appears by surprise in a store window. Many of us have developed extremely negative images of ourselves and so, even if we do occasionally look at our whole selves, we look with a critical eye. Instead of appreciating the many attractive parts we have, we sometimes see only the negative. Our eyes may gravitate to the thickness of our hips, the roundness of our bellies or our double chins instead of seeing the whole picture. We focus on the parts we don’t like and fail to notice the beautiful ones. This has a powerful effect. Seeing ourselves with such disapproval (sometimes hatred?) has a powerful negative effect. If we see isolated parts of ourselves and feel disgusted or angry, we miss any opportunity to feel good about ourselves as a whole.

No one has the perfect physical body. Even models that appear in glamour magazines have their photos touched up before publication. Blemishes and imperfections disappear. Most of us fail to measure up to today’s unrealistic beauty standards. Please know that you are not alone. All of us have parts of ourselves that we wish were somehow different. Part of the work of letting go of overeating is to accept ourselves as we are and to integrate all the parts of ourselves into a whole being – a whole being whom we can grow to appreciate and to love.

..and please remember to join me on Facebook ! Soon I will be posting there regularly. There are many new developments to share and I am looking forward to being more interactive with you!

Have a fantastic day and remember to love your whole self!

Laughter Helps

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 12:01:00 +0000

When was the last time you really laughed? Really had fun??

We live in a high-tech, fast-paced, high-tension world and we become like pressure cookers holding in emotion. If we do not release our feelings somehow, we build tension in our bodies and then race to the refrigerator for relief. You may notice that when you are feeling out of control around food it is because you are tense in some way. It is not when you feel relaxed and happy that you pounce on your food and cram it forcefully into your mouth. It is when you are looking for something to “take the edge off,” to help you cope with certain feelings or situations. Incorporating more opportunities for laughter and fun into your life can help you to develop a more positive attitude about life in general. This will help you to stay in control of your behavior more often and to cope more effectively with difficulties as they arise.

Sometimes we take life too seriously. Even a minor annoyance can assume huge proportions. It is helpful at times to back up, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “How important is this?” We may spend our day fretting and fuming over our negative circumstances and we totally miss the joy and beauty available in the present. You are the only one who suffers when you put your precious energy into harboring negative feelings about someone else. The other person is probably having a fine day and spending very little time concerned about how you are doing or feeling. If you allow negative thoughts about someone to ruin your day, you are giving that person your power. You give up the right to enjoy yourself and your life and you find yourself stewing about things in the past that you have absolutely no control over.

Be happy today! Find things to smile about and plan something fun to do! When you focus on the joyful aspects of each individual and situation, things change. You feel lighter, emotional eating will dramatically decrease and food recedes into the background. Try it and enjoy summer.

Also...just in from BBC, Australia! Listen today to this exciting podcast I produced with Victoria Hansen, Black Book Cooking. It is the first in a four part series covering vital aspects of The Taming of the Chew.
Podcast available now.

And remember to join me on Facebook today http://www.Facebook.com/drdeniselamothe. I would love to connect!

Adolescents and Eating Problems

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 18:51:00 +0000

A recent study, supported by The National Institute of Mental Health, reported in Med Page Today, highlights the seriousness of eating problems in adolescents in our country, finding that they have a rate of eating disorders only slightly less than that reported in adults. It is not surprising that young people are as affected as the pressures on them to look, act and be certain ways mount and food control is one way they may attempt to control themselves and their environment. Sugars and simple carbohydrates abound in the youth culture, are extremely addictive for most and often just as effective as drugs or alcohol at numbing feelings and helping one to escape from the realities and pressures of life.

In over twenty-five years of private practice I have been helping people, young and old, to overcome eating problems and the work is often discouraging and frustrating for all of them. I do understand this, having suffered with anorexia for a long while, bulimia for about seven years, binge eating disorder and extreme obesity – finally feeling at peace today about my body and food.

I have discovered that it is not about being thin. It is about feeling balanced and happy and enjoying life. It saddens me to see so many people spending their days thinking of how they can be smaller, fooling themselves into thinking that they will be happy “then.” The time to be happy is now but as long as your energy is directed at what you perceive as “wrong” about you, you can never appreciate all the wonderful things there are about yourself.

Understanding and overcoming over- (or under-) eating is complex but can be done. It requires that you question those messages that you are constantly bombarded with to be different. You may think you will garner approval if you do your best to please everyone else, but that will never work. You are the only one you need to listen to. You have the wisdom to decide what’s best for yourself. Several times a day, close your eyes, breathe and focus within yourself. Think about what you want, what you need at that moment and notice how you feel. Then ask yourself what you truly need at the moment. It may actually be to eat but chances are it is not.

Don’t beat yourself up for craving. That will never help! Sugars, fats and salt are highly addictive so be aware when you choose them that you are likely to want more. Make the best choices you can in all areas of your life. When you’re tired, rest. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re lonely, call a friend. Do not expect to behave perfectly. That is not the human way and if you set that impossible goal, you are guaranteed to fail. Above all else, nurture yourself with all the love and care you need and certainly deserve! As you do, your body will come to its perfect weight.

Many new and exciting things are coming soon. Stay in the loop and add yourself to my mailing list, please use the following link. I hope so much you will join me!

http://drdenise.org/join-dr-denises-mailing-list

Also, please join me on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/DrDeniseLamothe and “like ” me there. I would really appreciate it. Many people have “liked” me on my personal page but I won’t be posting there any longer. The above address is my business page and I will be posting there regularly. (I didn’t realize I was supposed to be using this page and not the personal one.) So, from now on, I will be on the above page regularly and hope you will connect with me there so we can interact and I can keep you posted an all kinds of new stuff!

Meanwhile…enjoy your day! Looking forward to connecting more often!

Food For Feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 18:59:00 +0000

For many of us food has been a trusted friend, a comfort. When we feel lonely or afraid or sad, food is always there. We use it to mask our difficult feelings and to nurture ourselves. We can count on it. In the moment, it does not let us down. When we use food as a comfort, however, the result is usually discomfort. We feel disappointed in ourselves and beat ourselves up emotionally with negative messages. When we have binged and feel exhausted, we vow never to abuse food again. Of course, the next time difficult feelings arise, we do. We do this because we have learned that “food works” and we have reinforced that again and again over the years. So, food works in the short term but in the long term overeating reinforces our negative self-image, lowers our self-esteem level and confirms again that we are out of control. We cannot change this behavior and Tame our Chew until we learn healthy ways to cope with difficult feelings.

My new book, The Appetite Connection: Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and The Body You Long For will be coming out at the end of July. These six steps are clear and ever so effective! This is a book with real answers to your important questions and also urges you never to diet again!!! I will keep you posted as the release date draws near!. Meanwhile, join me on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dr-Denise/139555252729875?ref=sgm#!/profile.php?id=1158957675 ) and post your questions...I love hearing from you! ...and Twitter (http://twitter.com/#!/DocDenise ) to keep up withal the exciting things happening this summer!

The Diet Industry: Friend or Foe?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 15:59:00 +0000

Dieting is an obsession in our culture and the diet industry is a multi-billion dollar enterprise. We are bombarded with messages to be thin and to try fad diet products, diet pills, and wraps that promise to “melt off pounds” while we do nothing. There are liquids that promise to provide balanced nutrition and to help us drop pounds at the same time. There are diet wafers, soft drinks and candies that promise to satisfy our needs while our inches disappear. There is always a new scheme coming along – some kind of product linked to some kind of magical promise. We all know on some level that these do not work. The idea of a quick solution to such a painful problem is alluring, however, and difficult to pass up. Instead of staying with our reasoning selves, we slide into denial and we buy yet another gimmick in a desperate attempt to end our battle with weight once and for all. As many of us know through painful experience, this ends in failure and emotional eating and our self-esteem suffers yet another blow.

We are urged to color our hair, hide our wrinkles, and cram our bulges into tight clothing until we can barely breathe. We cannot pass a magazine rack without being assaulted by messages that our bodies are not okay. Virtually every issue of any magazine written for women, will contain some kind of article on how to become younger, more beautiful, more slender, more something. The message is clear. We are never all right just as we are.

As with any industry, the diet industry only continues to grow if their products remain in demand. Have you ever thought about that? If diet products really did work, the industry would put itself out of business. Why then are millions of women and men buying more and more diet products? If diet products work and we become thin using them, then why do we need more and more of them? Why do more and more weight loss groups and organizations form? Why? These are important questions to think about. The more informed you are, the more you will be able to steer clear of false promises. You will save money, but, more importantly, you will protect yourself from further disappointment and shame.

What is "Normal Eating" Anyhow?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 31 May 2011 18:36:00 +0000

Normal eating is responding to physical cues that your body needs nourishment. It means eating until you are satisfied. Normal eating means eating foods you love and letting yourself have enough. It does not mean depriving yourself or stopping eating because you think you should. Normal eating means exercising some restraint and choosing foods that are good for your body but not limiting your diet so much that you miss out on special foods you might enjoy occasionally. Normal eating means granting yourself permission to eat at any time just because you feel like it, because you feel happy or sad or because you are celebrating or mourning. It means eating sometimes for absolutely no reason other than because you want to.

On some days, normal eating means eating three meals. On other days, it could mean having more or less than that. Normal eating does at times mean over-eating and at other times, under-eating. It means being flexible and it means trusting yourself and your body. Normal eating means letting your body adjust to the constant fluctuations in your moods, food choices and eating patterns. It means paying some attention to your eating, but it does not mean being rigid. It does not mean worrying about your food and body excessively. Thoughts about when and what to eat are necessary in order to feed yourself well but they should not take up the majority of your time and sometimes normal eating can mean taking care of yourself emotionally with an appropriate amount of food.

So, please enjoy your food and remember, sometimes it is OK to eat for emotional reasons as long as you know what you are doing and you're prepared to take care of yourself after.

Be well and warmest wishes, Dr. Denise

Perfection is NOT the Answer!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 23 May 2011 11:00:00 +0000

It is extremely difficult for most of the people I see to embrace the fact that it is normal and OK, in fact, to lapse at times. Most women and men who seek my services have the idea that they need to be perfect and behave perfectly at all times. Since this is impossible, they set themselves up to fail. If they insist on meeting this unattainable goal they usually end up feeling ashamed, guilty, anxious, discouraged and depressed when they “fail” and this triggers more self-abusive binging and out-of-control behavior.

So, setting unrealistic goals leads ultimately to more overeating, more self-punishing, more helpless feelings and more overeating. This is the vicious cycle that gets set up when one insists on perfect behavior at all times. Of course, each person is already perfect as is but they don’t often realize that. Instead they confuse this with perfect behavior (which none of us can achieve all the time). So, it is better to be gentle with yourself, focus on moving forward and to hop back on track each time you slip. Punishing yourself and beating yourself up will only make everything worse.

TOday is the last day today to register for my exciting teleclass series "The Appetite Connection" based on my new book, coming in July. These four classes will give you the basic six steps to creating the life and the body you long for. Only $30 and yours to download after the "live" event to listen whenever you want!

Please join me. It is an exciting opportunity for us to interact. I will pause midway through the event to answer questions or you can e-mail questions ahead of time to denise@deniselamothe.com and, if you can't make the call, you'll still have your question answered on the recording you can download after the event.

REGISTER NOW so you won't miss out!

Win a FREE book! Teleseminars Start Soon!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Thu, 12 May 2011 12:03:00 +0000

Dear friends,

I am so excited to be offering this complete course to you. I have appreciated your connections and am eager to connect even more in the days ahead. These 4 teleclasses will give us a chance to do this. We will be able to interact at last! I welcome your questions and comments and want this to be the most positive and useful experience! If you can't make the dates and times, please register anyway. Each telecless will be recorded for you to download and keep to listen at your leisure. even if you are on "live" with me, I suggest recording the calls because you will want to listen to them again and again. You can find all the information below. Review and then just click here to register. You will receive a special phoine number and code just before each class that will get you on the "live" call.

Oh yes! AND you will automatically be entered in a raffle for a FREE copy of my brand new book, The Appetite Connection, when it is released in July. You will get your copy before it hits the store shelves!!! How cool is that? So, register now! You'll be glad you did!

NEW DATES FOR NEW TELESEMINARS!
Please join me, Dr. Denise Lamothe, for
FOUR 45 MINUTE TELESEMINAR CLASSES BASED ON MY NEW BOOK,
The Appetite Connection:
Six Steps to Your Delicious Life and the Body You Long For

Participants will be automatically
entered in a drawing for a signed, first edition copy of Dr. Denise’s new book !

Classes held on Tuesdays, May 24th & 31st and June 7th & 14th. Cost is $30 for all four seminars! Don’t worry if you can’t make the calls. Register anyway and you will receive a link to each call so you can download, keep and listen to at your leisure*...and, of course, you will want to be entered in the exciting drawing for a FREE book!

WOULD YOU LIKE TO:
· Stop overeating and create the body you long for?
· Understand where and why your overeating behavior began?
· Let go of those old hurts that still hurt?
· Assume full responsibility for all aspects of your life?
· Befriend your appetite and use your internal guidance system?
· Utilize the valuable principles of The Law of Attraction?
· Make smart, healthy, empowering choices?
· Craft a flexible, personalized plan to help yourself every day?
· Contract with yourself to take the best possible care of yourself?

*NOTE: A recording of each call will be available to those that register so if you can't attend live... register anyway! Hope to "see" you there!

Make this you BEST day ever! Dr. Denise

Food Prison - Let Me Out!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 09 May 2011 11:08:00 +0000

In my experience, people who don’t care about themselves or their lives do not come through my door struggling with emotional eating and food control issues. On the contrary, those who seek my services are generally intelligent, motivated, creative, and perfectionistic. For the most part, those who ask for help are energetic and resourceful, but much of their energy is tied up obsessing about food or weight. Because of their eating habits, their physical energy is often low and because of their poor self-esteem, their emotional energy is also affected.

I am convinced that within each of us there exists a center where we love ourselves, and harbor the desire to grow and to be creative. Our creativity may shine when we are writing, drawing, cooking, gardening, knitting or listening to a friend, for example. We want to reach out, to stretch ourselves beyond our familiar, daily routines but we often feel afraid or stuck. Being obsessed with body size and food keeps our energy tied up and this can provide us with an illusion of safety. We don’t have to confront our fears and move forward if we focus on winning this war we are raging against our bodies. Being obsessed with food is like being in a prison where we are both the jailer and the jailed. To break out of our self-imposed prisons we need to develop our spiritual selves. This is a vital part of the process of freeing ourselves to grow and to develop to our greatest potential.

Stand Up for Yourself!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 03 May 2011 18:42:00 +0000

It is one thing for us to challenge old beliefs and to recognize our budding desire to behave in new ways, and quite another to know how to begin. We often lack the skills and the confidence necessary to implement the changes we wish to make. When we have been silent and passive a good deal of our lives, it is difficult to become clear, direct and assertive. Although we can easily see that other people are valuable and have rights, we may view ourselves as exceptions to this rule. It is often a shift in focus to begin to see ourselves as worthy, and as valuable as anyone else. This shift cannot and does not occur easily, nor does it occur over night. We may agree intellectually that all people, male or female, have certain basic human rights, but to actually recognize and stand up for these rights for ourselves is challenging. It is a challenge worth taking on, however, and essential to creating a peaceful and serene life – a life that is free of compulsive eating behavior.

The Self-Esteem Connection

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 13:07:00 +0000

When we are trapped in a cycle of food abusive behavior we don’t usually feel very good about ourselves. Why is it so hard to be proud of ourselves? Why do so many of us have such poor self-esteem? To answer this, we must examine what self-esteem is, how negative self-esteem develops and what we need to do to improve it. Self-esteem is not solid. It is fluid. Many people think of it as something that “just is.” You may have heard someone remark that they have high or low self-esteem and that is the end of it. Well, it really isn’t that way. Think of self-esteem as a river. Sometimes there is plenty of water in it and it flows freely. We may see sun sparkles reflected in it and it is quite beautiful. At other times, the water in our river may be quite low and we see mud, old tires and rusty things sticking up – not very attractive!

Self-esteem is like this river. It is high at times, low at others. Water flows into the river through positive messages we receive from ourselves and from others. Water flows out, however, when we hear and absorb negative messages. Think about this. When we were children, our parents expended a great deal of energy to take care of us. Since they had a limited amount of energy and wanted us to grow up doing the “right” things, they usually focused more attention on us when we were doing something wrong. If we were doing something unacceptable, that behavior had to be corrected. If we were not, there was no need to say
anything to us.

So, most of us grew up being exposed to an abundance of negative remarks and few positive ones.
Now is the time to turn your negative energy into positive. Only you can do it. Shower yourself today with positive self talk. Notice and appreciate all the amazing things about yourself. You are a special being and you deserve to enjoy your delicious life and to feel good. So, how about writing a list of positive aspects of your life and hanging it up in your home and/or office as a reminder? Then let us all know how it was to do it and what changes you are making as a result. I would love to see your comments…
Oh yes, and please visit my new Amazon Page and “like” me there so we can keep in touch all kinds of ways!

Meanwhile, enjoy springtime!
Warmest wishes,
Dr. Denise

Teleclasses to start this Thursday!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 11:32:00 +0000

It’s not too late! Please register today for my “Appetite Connection” four teleclasses series – only $30!!!

Hurry though because we start this Thursday, the 28th. To register click here.
If you can’t make it, register anyway and you will be able to download all of the classes to listen to at your convenience…

I would really love to have you join me... You can also send questions ahead of time and I will address tham on the call. Hope to connect with you Thursday!!!

Secondary Gains from Overeating

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 20:45:00 +0000

I often ask clients what they are getting out of their compulsive eating behavior. Most look at me as if I’m from another planet and insist that they get absolutely no benefits from eating compulsively or from being overweight. I can understand their surprised reactions, for how can an issue which feels so painful and all-consuming bring with it any advantages? Inevitably, when I suggest we talk about the possibility, people resist the idea. “How can this weight or this behavior bring me anything positive?” they ask. It seems too hard to think about, impossible to imagine. I often tell them the following story to illustrate my point:

Once I was working with a woman who had been steadily gaining weight since the birth of her first child. She was referred to me by her medical doctor when her weight began seriously taking its toll on her health. She was dangerously obese when we met and was becoming increasingly depressed and discouraged. We worked together for quite a while and, despite all of her best efforts and mine, she continued to put on more weight. Sporadically she would make attempts to take control of her eating but nothing was effective. One day, after several months of unsuccessful weight loss attempts, we began talking about her family situation and she disclosed to me that her husband and parents badly wanted another child/grandchild. Her first child, an extremely active little girl, kept her busy constantly and she strongly resisted the idea of adding to their family (and thus her workload). She feared her husband’s and parent’s anger and possible abandonment if she openly stated that she did not want another child to care for.

Soon she realized that her weight kept her from having to confront her family or deal with the issue at all. Her doctor had emphatically told her that having another child was far too dangerous an undertaking if she became pregnant at her current weight. Losing weight would mean confronting the issue and admitting the truth. Once she realized this she knew that she would never let go of her extra pounds until she figured out how to handle this matter directly.

Scenarios like this one happen frequently as part of the therapy process. People sometimes find out that their weight, their emotional eating and out-of-control behavior provides them with illusions of safety. If they are overweight, they can avoid the situations that they fear. They may think such thoughts as, “If I am heavy, no one will make advances towards me. If I am fat, I can’t possibly _______ (fill in the blank: go to school, ask for anything, be successful, take risks, compete with others, have a good relationship, etc.) If I am fat, I won’t be called upon to give my opinions or ideas. People won’t take me seriously and I won’t have to risk being wrong and feeling foolish. If I am overweight I may be excluded from good jobs where I will be expected to be responsible and competent (it is illegal, but it happens). If I am obese I can stay close to home – buses, planes, trains and subways have small seats so I can’t possibly travel.” This thinking provides an illusion of safety.

Being overweight is not simple and generally there are at least a few hidden, unconscious agendas behind the eating behavior. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and think for a few minutes about the advantages you get from being overweight. Then return to the present. Write those advantages down. Now note any other, more nurturing ways you can take care of yourself and your feelings and write these down. Next, choose one area where you would like to make a change. For example, if you have discovered that one advantage of overeating has been to numb feelings of grief, you might plan to talk with a friend about your loss. In this way, you allow your feelings to surface and find expression and you no longer need food to anesthetize yourself. You can do this exercise often as a way of checking in with yourself and changing your compulsive behavior.

You are making your unconscious conscious and only then can you make the changes you need to make. Send me a note and let me know what you find out! ( denisedeniselamothe.com ) I would love to heare from you!

Springtime and Overeating

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 12:02:00 +0000

First of all, thank yous to all of you who participated in my very first teleseminar last week. It was a great experience and I appreciate your letting me know how helpful it was… (We will be posting a link to the recording on http://www.emotionalovereatingawareness.com/ soon. The four teleclasses series I told you about that will address how to stop overeating will begin April 28th and information will be available soon. Check my website for the latest news and I will also keep you posted via this blog..

For now, let’s enjoy springtime! After months of hibernation, it is finally springtime! Flowers are bursting out of their underground winter hiding places and there are many compelling reasons to be out of doors. Raking, mowing, weeding, feeding bending and lifting all may exhaust us physically and this end-of-the day tiredness can be misinterpreted for hunger. Food gives us energy and we need the right amount of the right nutrients for our body to function properly. Often, however, we fool ourselves into thinking we need to eat when our body actually does not need more food. This is likely to happen when we are tired.

We might think we need to eat food to energize our body. Although this may be the case at times, such as in a life or death situation, usually, for many of us, food is not what we really need. We may really need to sleep or soak in a warm bubble bath. When we are tired, we are more emotionally vulnerable. We may find ourselves eating to save us from experiencing our feelings. When we feel tired, angry, frustrated, anxious, bored, lonely, unappreciated or afraid, for example, food becomes a quick and easy way to seemingly perk us up and fill the void we are experiencing. It is easier to tear open a bag of chips grab a chocolate bar than it is to sit with those painful feelings. Feelings of hunger are tricky and often have nothing to do with the fueling of our body.

Our body doesn’t need excessive amounts of potato chips, chocolate or macaroni and cheese to function optimally, so when we tell ourselves we need them for energy, we are not telling ourselves the truth. Fats, sugar or caffeine may give us a temporary rush of energy – but this is short-lived, and masking discomfort will leave us feeling even more “tired” than before because we are not giving our body the nutrients it really needs to “energize.” So, when we choose sugars, fats or excess carbohydrates we may not be truly, physically hungry.

Cravings we experience deliver valuable messages to us about what we really feel and what we really need. Our job is to pay attention to these messages and to give ourselves what we really need at the time. Proper rest, a healthful diet, and a peaceful lifestyle give us energy – not junk foods. They may be what our Appetite clamors for from time to time, but they are never what we really need.

Self Esteem and Emotional Eating

noreply@blogger.com (Dr Denise) — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 11:20:00 +0000

This is a great time to think about this because April is Emotional Overeating Awareness Month. (Go to http://www.emotionalovereatingawareness.com/ for free tips each day and to register for my FREE teleseminar this Thursday!) Register NOW! I really want to have you there with me… Think about this: Low self-esteem is always present when we are trapped in a cycle of food abusive behavior. Why is it so hard to feel good about ourselves? Why do so many of us have such poor self-esteem? To answer this, we must examine what self-esteem is, how negative self-esteem develops and what we need to do to improve it. Self-esteem is not solid. It is fluid. Many people think of it as something that “just is.” You may have heard someone remark that they have high or low self-esteem and that is the end of it. Well, it really isn’t that way. Think of self-esteem as a river. Sometimes there is plenty of water in it and it flows freely. We may see sun sparkles reflected in it and it is quite beautiful. At other times, the water in our river may be quite low and we see mud, old tires and rusty things sticking up – not very attractive! Self-esteem is like this river. It is high at times, low at others. Water flows into the river through positive messages we receive from ourselves and from others. Water flows out, however, when we hear and absorb negative messages. Now think about this. When we were children, our parents expended a great deal of energy to take care of us. Since they had a limited amount of energy and wanted us to grow up doing the “right” things, they usually focused more attention on us when we were doing something wrong. If we were doing something unacceptable, that behavior had to be corrected. If we were not, there was no need to say anything to us. Now your self-esteem is your responsibility entirely. Please flood yourself with positive messages – about your competence and your worth. Celebrate the beautiful spirit you are and when negative messages slip into your mind, change the focus of your attention and give yourself positive thoughts. Think of thinks you feel good about. Count your blessings. Start a gratitude list. Hope to meet with you Thursday! Be well and honor Emotional overeating Awareness Month!