In a Moment's Notice

Labyrinths: A New Tool for Your Daily Life

2019-09-08T08:14:00.001-07:00

Labyrinths: A New Tool for Your Daily Life

2017-08-06T11:41:00.001-07:00

Anxiety, under diagnosed and oftentimes over-treated by “big pharma,” will never change or get better without your personal involvement. The more energy you put into a situation the more personal satisfaction you get out of your effort. To support your energy and effort, I have created a safe and encouraging blog area to help you move forward in your life.
Rather than have a drink, toke, or a snort, to try to wipe away this ruminating anxiety by adding tools to the toolbox. Although it feels as if it is eating you alive, there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety, such as journaling. Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness is a guided journal, I will cover effective journaling in these first few blogs to enhance this form of art as meaningful outlet for you. Like many art forms, journaling is always an evolving process and each day either you have a new canvas to start or you are adding detail, texture, and context to what you wrote yesterday.

Not all art forms are the same; therefore, not all artists are the same. Some like working with clay and others with watercolor, while some don’t care for oils, others delve deep into the richness of color. Writing is the same way for people. For some, it would be boring just to record your daily life. However, recording your daily life may make you aware of how boring life has become for you! Thus, journaling as an “art” gets your creative juices going by supplementing your life and bringing life into the objects around you. For instance, anxiety that just won’t shut up becomes quiet, goes away, or stops for microseconds. The art of writing opens a new window of opportunity to do something different with anxiety by learning to externalize the anxiety, rather than be anxiety’s hostage.

To start externalizing your anxiety, set your timer for two minutes and close your eyes, imagine your anxiety and let it take form. What does the anxiety look like? How big? How small? What is its texture? Does it have an odor? What color or colors is it?

Once you have a clearly defined your anxiety, open your eyes, set your timer for three more minutes and write down the image of your anxiety. Take your time and really use your pen as a paintbrush and describe fully your anxiety. Take a deep breath and ask the anxiety, “What message do you have for me?” Write down what anxiety says. Notice how that message makes you feel inside of your body. Where do you feel it in your body and how would you like body to respond differently next time? Given the information from your body, write for three continuous minutes by responding to anxiety’s message to you. Continue back and forth in this dialogue. You may find the timer helpful or you may be ready to let the timer go and just keep dialoguing.

Timers are helpful tools when coping with concern or worry because anxiety enjoys being an intimidator. Anxiety enjoys its own chatter. It is constantly saying things like, “you are taking too much time,” “that was a stupid message,” and “this stupid exercise is getting your nowhere.” If you are writing while using a timer then you just keep focusing and moving on. A good analogy for me is physical therapy. While doing rehab for my knee replacement, the PT handed me a timer, I learned to hold a position for thirty seconds, one minute, and so on. The timer became my friend because when it went off I could let go. Similarly, the timer is a helpful friend while doing journal exercises.

Think about journaling as a therapy that helps you live a productive and engaged lifestyle with your friends, family, and yourself. Think about coming to your journal daily for as little as six-to- ten minutes. Then every other day add a minute. Eventually, you are doing ten to twenty-minute writing exercises every other day. That is enough if you want it to be. Some of you may write hours but that is not the usual experience of journaling folks. Six through twenty minutes is enough for personal growth and reflection. As in anything, consistency is the key.

Once a week spend a few minutes re-reading what you wrote. What was your focus? Where are you stuck? Where are you making progress? Where do you want you to focus this coming next week?

You don’t need to spend every exercise working with your anxiety, but if anxiety is a big issue for you dedicate at least one day a week externalizing it and dialoguing with the anxiety. My new book allows you to discover many exercises. Click on the link below to get your copy today.

Writing Your Way to Healing and Wholeness

Developing Your Resources as A Cancer Survivor

2015-10-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

It is Breast Cancer awareness month and In A MOMENT'S NOTICE Facebook Page was birthed as a result of my own journey with breast cancer. I will sharing informative post throughout the month and ask that you past them on to your families and friends on FaceBook so that they too like my page and enjoy the information. My first posting is a repost of a series that I wrote for Breast Cancer Yoga two months ago.

Breast Cancer Mini Series With Dr. Dilley (Part 1 of 4)

August 27, 2013 by

Growing Your Own Hands – Part One

How To Develop A Support System For Breast Cancer

By Dr. Robin Dilley, PhD

This is the first in a series of four on Growing Your Own Hands after the diagnosis of Breast Cancer. You can find a version of this story at http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm031.htm

One of my favorite stories to use as a psychologist is the story of the Miller’s Daughter. This story resonates in so many ways with those facing breast cancer and other life threatening situations. This story echoes the many multilayers of emotion throughout the journey with breast cancer, especially that emotion where it is normal to feel as if our bodies betrayed us. The story is an old Grimm’s fairy tale and it goes like this: A miller came upon hard times. He was approached in the forest by a strange character and was told, “If you give me what is behind the mill right this moment, I will make you a rich man.”

The miller thought to himself, “There is nothing behind the mill except an old apple tree”, so the Miller agreed. But, to his surprise, it was his daughter that was behind the mill.

So, when the time came, a struggle ensued between the strange character and the miller’s daughter. The daughter used spiritual symbols of that era to protect herself. She drew a circle around herself and the strange character could not pass through the boundary of the circle to acquire his prized possession. Finally, the strange character said to the miller, “Look I am going to take back all of your riches that I have given you unless you cut off your daughter’s hands.” The miller, being a selfish man, did just that.

The miller then turns to his daughter and says, “With my riches, I will build you a castle and take care of you in every lavish way.”

The daughter responded, “No thank you. I will go out into the world and trust the goodness of others.” And so her mother bound her daughter’s handless arms and she left her father’s house for a journey she chose after a traumatic even happened to her. Life as she knew it had came to an end.

Over the next seven years, the daughter grew her own hands. When facing all of the struggles of treatment, fears of death, and the constant roller-coaster of emotions that sometimes drown us, there is still that place deep down inside of us that we can access and move forward to write the next chapters of our lives. And by doing so, we grow our own hands again in ways that we never have could imagined.
Once we receive the diagnosis with breast cancer, our emotions go into shock and we are faced with very important life-changing choices. It is important at this time to rely on the goodness of others and build a support system. Ideally, one of those people should be a “research director” who can take the information from the pathology report that gives you the map the oncologist and radiologist will be using to offer you the best treatment options available to you at this time.

Your path report will tell you what type of breast cancer, what stage, what grade, etc. Each one of those foreign words can be researched online to help you better understand what you are facing. By having a good research director on board, s/he can forward you information worth looking at and discard the hundreds of articles that you do not need to know at this time.

From there, create a list of questions for your oncologist and radiologist. There are no stupid questions. And in the emotional turmoil that you are in, you may need to ask the same question over and over until you understand the ramifications of what you are about to go through. It is important to feel that you have choices and that you are a vital part of your own treatment team. There are many oncologists out there, so give yourself permission to shop around if you don’t like the responses you are getting from yours. You may not be able to control the fact that you now have breast cancer, but you can make lots of decisions along the way. Blogger: Robin B. Dilley PhD

Virtual Summer Boot Camp

2015-07-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

VIRTUAL SUMMER BOOT CAMP

Individualized program to help you get started on whatever it is you want to change.

Start Date: By Appointment (30minutes-by phone of VSEE).

Includes 30 Minute Goal Defining Process Session

6-20 Minute Focus Sessions

What better time to start than NOW!!! Fourth of July is Over the Next Holiday is not until September 7th. Seems to me it will give you something to look forward to and propel you toward your new goals and personal change. Here is a list of things to think about focusing on and try to get out of your box.

Who are some people that might benefit from a twenty-minute coach?

SPIRITUALITY: Questions, spiritual issues, looking for help with a spiritual practice

HEALTH: Want to explore life-style and health changes

PERSONAL GROWTH: Looking for ways to use your voice and be visible to yourself and others.

PERSONAL STORY: Look closely at you life’s story and relationships and move toward writing a new story.

Parents: who need immediate processing about what to do with a situation with their child.

Employees: Trouble-shooting relationships at work or deciding to move on or not

Bosses: Trouble-shooting work situations

People in life transitions: Divorce, grief, job loss, career decisions, and life transitions of any kind.

Anyone who is feeling a need for help, insight, direction, and/or to get out of old patterns and are serious about to moving forward in his/her life.

If you are interested in using this innovative idea to help you get out of your box and get-started then email me at drrobinbdilley@gmail.com today. All sessions must be used by September 7, 2015. Introductory Price $350.00. Ask about Premier Package for $500.00.

Spirituality

2015-06-15T09:51:00.001-07:00

SPIRITUALITY

Fire burning within your soul, not because you it keeps you warm but because it brings you great joy to connect with the "Other." Spirituality cannot be defined by others it has to be defined by you from deep within you being. But you may notice as soon as you define it, it begins to evade you. The evasion of Spirituality is like trying to catch air in a bottle. You can't see the air. You can't drink the air. You can't touch the air and if you pour water into the bottle then there is no space left for air to be. Air is absolutely necessary for the survival of earthlings but it is not easy to capture or define. Spirituality is absolutely necessary for earthlings but it will not be defined or contained nor restrained by our English language. Spirituality is about experience. Spirituality is about connection. Spirituality is about other. Spirituality is about emotion. Spirituality is about_____________________. Yes, you can finish the sentence. Spirituality is mystical, mystery and ordinary. When you give a street musician a dollar for playing his/her banjo or when you give the waiter/waitress a tip you are practicing Spirituality. You are connecting with other in a meaningful way, making another earthling’s lives better. Be the fire that turns many shades of color throughout your day. Make someone else smile because you took a moment to make a difference. As the Dali Lama say’s “My religion is kindness.” It is connecting with your own inner fire that makes Spirituality the fire (action) a religion. Sharing what is within and the sharing of your resources makes Spirituality come to life.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: MULTI-TASK

2015-01-10T15:09:00.002-08:00

MULTI-TASK IN A HEALTHY ENVIRONMENT

MULTI-TASK

There is no better time that now to become proficient in the art of MULTI-TASKING. To MULTI-TASK is to live in optimal organization in order to squeeze the zest out of life. As you make your to-do list, (and you are doing that now aren’t you?) think in terms of organizing your list in ways that you can accomplish several things. What gets done while you are doing laundry? What three activities can you sweep together into one? For instance, when doing your taxes it a good time to do a budget review and tweak the budget for next year, making sure there are plenty of dollars saved for that vacation. In the United States we over-work and under-play. It is time to reverse that but in order to make a dent in the amount of time and energy we waste each day, it is important to MULTI-TASK. Organize your day, your week, your month and your year with key MULTI-TASKING actions that keep you moving forward and saving valuable time for playing while MULTI-TASKING your chores. Think about adding music to the background of your chores to enhance your mood. Add some humor and laughter into the mix of daily activity to boost your morale. MULTI-TASKING does not have to be all about hard work, it can be about play too. If play and laughter are not on your to-do list, it is likely that it won’t happen. You must plan for it just like you plan for dinner. It is the balance of MULTI-TASKING that fills your day with positive opportunities.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: KWANZAA

2014-12-26T12:56:00.003-08:00

The Holiday Season Continues. Joyous KWANZAA

KWANZAA

JOYOUS KWANZAA IS THE PROPER GREETING FOR TODAY. YES, KWANZAA IS A FAIRLY NEW HOLIDAY MAKING ITS WAY INTO THE MAINSTREAM OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON, BEGINNING DECEMBER 26 AND ENDING ON NEW YEAR’S DAY. IT ORIGINATED IN 1966 BY DR. MAULANA KARENGA TO CELEBRATE THE AFRICAN FAMILY, COMMUNITY, AND CULTURE. THE WORD KWANZAA MEANS, “FIRST FRUITS” IN SWAHILI. SWAHILI IS THE WIDEST SPOKEN AFRICAN LANGUAGE AND RECOGNIZED THROUGH ALL OF AFRICAN DIASPORA. KWANZAA CELEBRATES THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES OVER ITS SEVEN DAYS. THOSE PRINCIPLES ARE: UNITY, SELF-DETERMINATION, COLLECTIVE WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY, COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS, PURPOSE, CREATIVITY, AND FAITH. THE KINARA, WHICH IS A SEVEN CANDLE CANDLESTICK, REPRESENTS EACH ONE OF THE SEVEN PRINCIPLES. THE BLACK CANDLE IS LIT FIRST REPRESENTING UNITY AND THE OTHER SIX PRINCIPLES BALANCE THE HEART OF THIS HOLIDAY OF SOLIDARITY AND COMMUNITY. KWANZAA WAS BORN DURING THE HEAT OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT AS A WAY OF OFFERING A STABILIZED IDENTITY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ANGER AND HATE OF RACISM. HERE WE ARE FORTY -EIGHT YEARS LATER AND OUR NEWSCAST ARE FULL OF VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE. LET’S PULL TOGETHER THIS KWANZAA TO STAND TOGETHER WITH OUR AFRICAN BROTHERS AND SISTERS AS THE STRIVE TO FIND FAITH AND HOPE IN A COUNTRY THAT IS OFTEN HOSTILE AND HATE FILLED TOWARD THEM. WE ARE IN DEEP NEED OF PEACE WITHIN OUR OWN COUNTRY THIS YEAR AND I FEEL IT IS FOOLISH TO FOCUS OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN BORDERS UNTIL WE HAVE PEACE WITHIN. WATCH THIS THREE-MINUTE VIDEO AS AN ACT OF SOLIDARITY TODAY: HTTP://WWW.HISTORY.COM/TOPICS/HOLIDAYS/KWANZAA-HISTORY

YOUR LIFE A-Z: ZESTFUL

2014-12-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

ZESTFUL

ZESTFUL means having a spirited love of life. Isn’t it awesome that our advent list ends with this powerful word for this CHRISTMAS day? (If you are wondering how we went through 26 letters in 25 days, it is because Advent began on November 30, which made a perfect ending to this A-Z for the holiday.) Today, have a ZESTFUL day. From the early morning hours of opening presents to the late Christmas dinners celebrate each other. Be spirited about connecting with those around you and add ZEST to each encounter, making someone else’s Christmas experience brighter. If you are alone today, this is your opportunity to practice ZESTFULNESS to others. Get over yourself and get out. Take water to the homeless or go to a movie and be ZESTFUL with gratitude that you can get out and enjoy your Christmas day. If you are homebound then call someone and wish him/her a Merry Christmas. Today is not a day to sit around and feel sorry for your situation. Today is a day to bring ZEST and to be ZESTFUL. Use today to make a positive difference in the life of each person you come in contact with. Practice having a spirited love of life and let your ZESTFULNESS become contagious. You do make a difference in the lives of all of those around you and you get to choose whether that difference is positive or negative. Seems like practicing ZESTFUL interactions will make your Christmas day more meaningful. So with that I wish you a ZESTFUL day of spirited living. Merry Christmas.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: YULE

2014-12-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

OUR YULE TRADITION-YULE TREE

YULE

It seems that no one does YULE better than the Celtic people, even though YULE roots are deep in all of Europe. YULE is celebrated between December 20 and 23, depending on the Gregorian calendar. We know that date as Winter Solstice. YULE is really a season of celebration in the middle of the darkness that has deep roots in many rituals. Think about it. When it is dark and cold outside and each day has been getting shorter and shorter with the darkness getting longer and longer, what better thing to do than party? A party to celebrate the turning point, knowing that from this date forward the day will begin to get longer again. The Celt’s made everything rich in tradition and ritual on this longest night of the year, forged with community bon fires, wassailing (singing and alcohol) and children were sent door to door delivering clove spiked apples and oranges. The apples and oranges were placed in evergreen lined baskets decorated with flour coated wheat stalks. The apples and oranges represented the sun, the evergreen lined baskets represented the strength of life, and the flour- dusted wheat represented the harvest and miracle of life. The druids went deep into the forest to harvest mistletoe, a symbol of the divine. A sprig of holy was placed at the door all year long inviting blessings. On YULE night the YULE log was lit as thanks to the sun for beginning to return the light. Every part of the YULE season and day were soaked in symbolic ritual. Do not let your YULE season pass by you as commercialized chaos, reclaim and redeem the energy of the symbol and celebrate boldly.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:XMAS

2014-12-23T12:30:00.000-08:00

CHI

XMAS

Oh joy! It is the controversial word XMAS. Many of my readers have probably heard the ongoing debate about using the word XMAS instead of the word Christmas. Fundamentalists are adamant about not taking the word Christ out of Christmas and replacing it with a pagan X for XMAS. Researching the history of the word XMAS was very educational. Religious scholars have written the word XMAS for years. X in the Greek language represents Chi. The word for Christ in Greek is Χριστος. The symbol above with X and P has been used since Constantine’s time to represent Christianity. Early religious writers wrote in Greek and in Arabic. The X in Christmas represents Christ just as much as spelling it out as Christ. X was used for the word Christ long before it converted to the English word Christ. Thus, in celebration of XMAS this year can we let our arguments go by the wayside and enjoy the last few days of this holiday season? Enjoy the true spirit of connecting with each other that this time of year makes possible for us. Regardless of your faith tradition or decision not to choose a faith, XMAS gives us the opportunity to connect and reconnect with people we do not see on a regular basis. XMAS is a time of celebration of each other. Chi is the twenty-second letter of the Greek alphabet and Chi is also used as a Chinese word representing the life force that radiates throughout our body at all times. Let XMAS radiate through you this year.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:WREATH

2014-12-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

This Circle of Life Brings You Holiday Blessings

WREATH
The history of the WREATH pre-dates Christianity by at least 1,000 years. It originated with the Romans and was worn as head- dress and placed on doors as a sign of victory. It meandered into Europe as part of the pagan celebrations of life during the cold and dark winter season. The WREATH was made of evergreen or holly representing the circle of life’s seasons and sturdiness of life. The WREATH was adorned with four candles representing the four elements, earth, wind, fire, and water. The WREATH served as a practicality giving light to the dark corners of the home as well as a symbolically reminding people that light would return and they were sturdy enough to endure. It was only after Christian’s co-opted the pagan rituals that the advent WREATH came into being. Also in Europe, WREATHS were used as a way of identifying one’s personal residence, similar to our street numbering system today. A European would say, “I am the house with the such and such WREATH on the door.” Thus this circle of unending life found its way into the everyday life of the people. Do you have a WREATH on your door this holiday season? If so, how did you choose the one you have or did you make it? Think about the symbols you would like to have your WREATH represent. If you were to add one decorative item that represented something special to you this holiday, what would it be? Enjoy making your WREATH a bit more personal.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:VIRGIN

2014-12-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

The Black Madonna is a Powerful Story

VIRGIN

Whether you believe in the literal VIRGIN birth or perceive this great story of VIRGIN birth of Jesus to be a valuable myth it does not change the reality that the story of the VIRGIN birth has echoed hope over these past centuries. In the accounts of Matthew and Luke, it is reported that an angel of the Lord appeared to Mary and told her she would conceive a child by the Holy Spirit and that child will be called the son of the Most High. Joseph, the husband of Mary, had a dream confirming what Mary was told. So every Christmas churches re-enact the long journey that Mary and Joseph made to Bethlehem to pay their taxes. And there in Bethlehem Jesus was born. From this time forward many stories have been reported about the VIRGIN and her role in our lives. If you are intrigued by this VIRGIN and find her compelling enough to know more, I believe you will be enriched by Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, Untie the Strong Woman. I found it fascinating and discovered many meaningful stories about her. In the meantime, the VIRGIN responded to the angel by saying, “Behold I am a servant of the Lord. Let it be to me according to your word.” This is the time of the year to give back for your many blessings, so use the opportunity to serve those around you and make their lives enriched. Give thanks that you are alive and purpose your life to give to others as acts of gratitude for your life.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:UNKNOWN

2014-12-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

BLENDING IS BEAUTIFUL

UNKNOWN

I am sure that there are some UNKNOWN holiday traditions that you practice, meaning that you do not know how the tradition got started. For instance, do you know why you have all of the foods you have at your holiday table? Why do you think cranberry sauce is a tradition at holiday meals? Do you know why you have ham instead of turkey, or prime rib instead of lasagna? How in the world did a fruitcake end up as a holiday gift? Speaking of holiday gifts, have you played secret Santa or Christmas angel this year? Take a moment and think about the people in your life and the gifts you have purchased. Ask yourself, is there anyone in your life’s circle that could really use an UNKNOWN gifter this year? Is there someone who would really benefit from an UNKNOWN Santa by having a medical bill paid or find grocery gift card appearing under his/her tree? If there is not one that you know who can benefit from an UNKNOWN gift this year then you are surrounded by a multitude of blessed people. If this is the case, make yourself go to the mall one more time and explore all of those tags still left on a Christmas angel tree. Choose a tag or two and begin shopping for that child that desperately needs you to make his/her Christmas magical. It is a gift to be an UNKNOWN gifter. Give today. Christmas has built in opportunities for you to create UNKNOWN gifts.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:TEDDY BEAR

2014-12-19T08:31:00.002-08:00

I Have Plenty of Hugs for You

TEDDY BEAR

The story of the TEDDY BEAR comes alive through President Teddy Roosevelt who reportedly refused to shoot a tied up bear. Roosevelt was on a bear hunting expedition and the expedition was failing miserably to produce a bear for the President to shoot. Finally the dogs trapped a poor old fat bear and the hunting party tied it up for our president to shoot. When the President arrived to the site and found the bear tied up, he refused to kill it because he said killing it would not be honorable sportsmanship. This story was deemed compassionate and quickly spread from the hunting camp throughout the country. A female candy shop owner in Brooklyn made the first TEDDY BEAR from a picture that appeared in the Washington Post. She wrote President Roosevelt and requested permission to name the bear TEDDY BEAR and from that day on TEDDY BEARS have danced into the hearts of children across America, especially appearing under the tree on Christmas morning. Did you have a TEDDY BEAR as a child? Do you have a TEDDY BEAR today? Have you ever seen a TEDDY BEAR that did not make your heart warm up and your whole body smile? There is something adorable and magical about TEDDY BEARS. If you are in need of nurturance, a hug, or just some friendly soul to pour your heart out to, then maybe you will benefit by putting a TEDDY BEAR under your tree this Christmas.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: STAR

2014-12-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

FOLLOW YOUR UNUSUAL SIGNS

STAR

“O STAR of wonder, STAR of night,
STAR with royal beauty bright,
westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.”

All things winter and all things Christmas include the mystery and magic of the STAR. Legend tells us that a STAR appeared and led the Magi to the Christ Child. Many people believe in astrology and the aligning of planets that can give us direction about our life here on earth. Regardless of your belief about this amazing phenomenon, the science of astrology is very interesting. Think about times in your life when you have felt guided to a certain spot or given direction about a decision in your life. Take some time to reflect on your major life decisions and write about how you made them. You may discover that your major life decisions were made in the same the way the magi found the Christ Child, by following the STAR. The STAR appeared and drew attention and interest of those magi that were students of astrology. The STAR is similar to anything out of the ordinary that draws your interest and attention, however you must study it and not ignore it. King Herod could see the same STAR but he was not a student of astrology so it meant nothing to him. He was ignorant about the way of the night sky and as a result was dependent on the magi to inform him. Don’t be ignorant about the signs of the STAR in your life. Pay attention and follow the STAR that appears in your life. Enjoy your journey.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:RUDOLF

2014-12-17T09:56:00.000-08:00

RUDOLF THE RED NOSE REINDEER

It is not Christmas without the story of RUDOLF. The story about how RUDOLF came into existence is equally as heart warming. Doing right by others is exactly what Montgomery Wards Department Store did for Robert May, the 1939 author of this fascinating story. May was a copyright employee for Montgomery Wards and was known to have a proclivity to write children’s stories. They commissioned him to write a story-coloring book to give away at Christmas time and he came up RUDOLF the Red Nosed Reindeer. May was bullied as a child for being small and understood that the underdog was often just the person needed to accomplish important tasks. In the story, RUDOLF was asleep in his bed when Santa arrived to give out his gifts. Santa noticed RUDOLF’s flashing nose through RUDOLF’S window and Santa woke RUDOLF up and asked him to guide his sleigh through the foggy night. May did not own the copyright to this fast growing holiday story and several years later when May was under great financial stress because of his wife’s medical treatment for cancer, Montgomery Ward signed over the copyright of RUDOLF to May. May was able to provide a comfortable life for himself and his motherless 4-year-old daughter from that time forward. I invite you to use this story to ask yourself, “Whom do you need to do right by?” “Whose life can you make easier this holiday season?” “How can your disability become an asset to others this holiday season?” RUDOLF was created out of nothing and became a very important figure, what can you create out of nothing to make a difference?”

YOUR LIFE A-Z:QUAINT

2014-12-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

Create Memories out of QUAINT Traditions

QUAINT

QUAINT is defined as picturesque, attractive, charming and even old-fashion. Thus, when I think about a QUAINT Christmas, I remember fondly the real bubble lights on our family Christmas tree. Those lights were magical and I could watch them for hours on end, mesmerized by the bubbles that endlessly climbed to the top of each light. What are some of your QUAINT memories about your past holidays? Do you have a tradition from your childhood that you still carry on in your family today? What is it about that tradition that makes you feel connected to QUAINT times of the past? Carving out time in the hustle and bustle of this over commercialized season to make a Christmas evening at home QUAINT will help you build memories with your family for years to come. What could be better than turning on some traditional Christmas music, turning on the Christmas tree, and sitting around the living room telling Christmas stories and remembering your favorite Christmas with your children and friends? That is beginning of building a picturesque and QUAINT Christmas. You can make some popcorn, Christmas cookies, and hot chocolate and turn off all electronics for two hours while engaging each other in conversations and story. Storytelling is a QUAINT activity that builds relationships, exercises creativity, and enhances connection among family members taking advantage of personal time that will never be forgotten. Set aside at least one designated evening to be with family and set the stage to create an old-fashion QUAINT Christmas tradition.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:PRESENTS

2014-12-15T09:53:00.000-08:00

GIVE THE GIFT OF LIGHT

PRESENTS Under the Tree

As we are learning together, most of our traditions come from Germany with pagan origins, hi-jacked by the Church to bring people to Christianity. I would speak to the issue of the Church as opportunists, but that would not speak to the spirit of the season, so I will stick to Advent and using this time of the year to truly reflect on the opportunity that the Christmas Season gives us to connect to other people. We know the Magi brought gifts to the Christ Child. We know that in the dark season of winter, Europeans brought each other gifts of food, Yule logs, and other gifts that represented life. I learned that the tradition of lavish PRESENTS under the tree really began when German Prince Albert married Queen Victoria of England. Queen Victoria had fond memories of her childhood when her German mother and British father placed PRESENTS under the tree for their children. Queen Victoria developed fond memories of this time and she and her German husband carried on the tradition in their royal family. Beautiful pictures of their PRESENTS under the tree made their way into the paper. The wealthy middle class adopted the idea of the PRESENTS and today it has become an opportune time for merchants. I invite you to personalize the tradition for yourself and your family. Create ways this Christmas (and Hanukkah) to make PRESENTS meaningful and mindful. Choose PRESENTS that make a heartfelt connection to those you choose to gift.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: ORNAMENTS

2014-12-14T10:18:00.000-08:00

SPECIAL MEMORIES

ORNAMENTS

It has been very interesting doing the research to bring this alphabet of Advent to you. I am discovering that most of our Christmas traditions have been passed down to us through Germany. Most of our traditions are converted pagan practices, adopted by the church in order to appeal to the conversion of pagans to Christianity. ORNAMENTS began with a monk, St. Boniface. St. Boniface, born in England but sent to Germany, was the first person to adapt the pagan practice of the evergreen tree, which represented life in the middle of darkness to the people. St. Boniface told the people that the triangle shape of the fir tree represented the trinity, God the father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. He began to decorate the tree with white candles and red paper roses (representing Mary the Virgin). From there the practice of placing ORNAMENTS on the tree began to spread throughout all of Europe. The idea of adorning God with beautiful ORNAMENTS made sense to the people and they delighted in making the fir tree beautiful as a part of their religious practice.

ORNAMENTS originally found their way to America, through beautiful glass ORNAMENTS from Germany. The practice was picked up by Hallmark early on and they began making collectible ORNAMENTS which people shop for the latest collectible to give as gifts at Christmas time. As you decorate your tree with ORNAMENTS this year ask yourself about how and why you chose your ORNAMENTS? Allow yourself to make this now mostly pagan activity, a practice of story telling and family history making.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: NAUGHTY OR NICE

2014-12-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

NICE IS SOMETIMES OVER-RATED!!!

NAUGHTY OR NICE

These two words, NAUGHTY or NICE have been traditional words flowing from Santa Claus’s mouth from the beginning of time. Santa is checking to see if you have been NAUGHTY or NICE speak to the duality of the western mind. It is as if we are preconditioned to an all or nothing way of being in the world. Life is not intended to be measured by the words NAUGHTY or NICE. The dictionary definitions of each word are miles apart. NAUGHTY implies being disobedient where NICE implies being pleasant. NAUGHTY is a direct bad action whereas, NICE is sort of innocuous, a non-action neither positive of negative. If you are honest with yourself, NAUGHTY seems more interesting whereas NICE seems boring. Thus, I invite you to break free of this Santa of duality, NAUGHTY OR NICE and enjoy being a person who practices meekness and allow yourself to be truly present to life’s situations as they comes at you. Sometimes saying “no” to a situation or an invitation is going to feel NAUGHTY. However, in this instance, not over-extending yourself is a NICE thing to do for you and your family. Do not allow yourself to spend endless moments of anxiety worrying about other people’s feelings and expectations. Be NICE to yourself and everything else will fall into place. Reducing your stress and discovering that not everything has to be completed perfectly, more times than not will feel NAUGHTY. But the reduction of stress will feel so NICE.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:MEEK

2014-12-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

MEEK

Controlled Strength...Be Who You Are

MEEK is a word that showed up on my personal Facebook recently. I then realized how misunderstood the word MEEK is. Jesus reportedly said in Matthew 5:5, “Blessed are the MEEK because they shall inherit the earth.” The Greek meaning of the word MEEK, means, “strength under control.” It does not mean anything like the uneducated connotations people place on it today, such as weak, sissy, or spineless. Remember, King Herod was supposed to be powerful and in control of his kingdom, but he slaughtered innocent children because of his insecurity and anxiety. MEEK people are curious. A MEEK person comes to the table to see what he/she can do to serve and make things better because he/she knows that problems need to be resolved not slaughtered. MEEK people are not just humble they are powerful and intelligent. If you were to inherit the earth, how would you go about making the necessary changes needed for peace to be possible? When does your family need controlled strength to help heal a negative family situation? You can sit back passively and wait for the holiday season to be over, or you can practice MEEKNESS this holiday season and actually begin to change the negative energy that might show up during this time of celebration and magic. MEEKNESS reminds us to let go of angry control and relax into letting each person be his/her own unique self. You don’t need to be the judge. Let go and practice being MEEK in the true sense of the word.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:LOVE

2014-12-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

Don't Let Love be an Illusion

LOVE

Wow the TWENTY-MINUTE Coach made it almost to the end of the year without using this word LOVE. As Tina Turner sings, “What does LOVE have to do with it?” LOVE is considered an action verb but is often referred to as a state of being. For instance, “I am in LOVE.” LOVE comes up during the holiday season because LOVE is the assumed connection that brings family and friends together. However, if the holiday season was not over-commercialized what would you choose to do with this time of year? Who would you choose to invite to your holiday table if you did not feel like you should? Who would you buy gifts for if you did not have too? The definition of LOVE implies deep affection, endearment, and fondness. What prevents you from feeling those feelings from those you choose to be around for the holiday? If resentment, judgment and uncomfortable emotions hinder you from really LOVING those around you during this time of year, why not let go of those negative emotions and replace those emotions with LOVE. Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone has personal pain in his/her life even if they choose not to acknowledge it. Difficult emotions are shunned in our society. It is time to quit denying those difficult emotions and allow yourself to explore them in order that you can be emotionally free to really LOVE. LOVE and the actions of LOVE are best practiced with a genuine heart of fondness. Let go and learn to LOVE this holiday season.

YOUR LIFE A-Z:KING

2014-12-10T09:00:00.000-08:00

What Kind of King are You?

KING

The word KING during this time of Advent brings to mind the story of KING Herod and his dictate to destroy the Christ child, whom Herod saw as a threat. If you study the Herod dynasty, you will come to understand that KING Herod was an insecure and very weak male that could not stand any competition. The prophecies of old had long predicted that a KING would be born and he would be KING of the Jews. KING Herod had ordered the Magi to reveal the location of this important baby KING, but the Magi departed a different way and did not reveal the location. As a result, KING Herod in his anger and angst ordered that all baby boys under the age of two be killed in the area of Bethlehem. This part of history became known as the slaughter of the innocents. Each of us has a KING Herod inside of us. That inner KING is our insecure, anxiety driven ego. This inner KING will destroy us and anyone else in our path of perceived control in order to keep our life safe. This pseudo control slaughters our dreams, ideas, and intuition on a regular basis. We need to birth within us a different KING. We need a KING of peace that surpasses all understanding that allows us to be present to our life, and bring peace to those around us. You choose which kind of KING you are willing to be: Herod or the Christ Child?

YOUR LIFE A-Z:JOLLY

2014-12-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

JOLLY

BE JOLLY AND ENJOY

Happy, cheerful, light-hearted and playful are some of the words that describe JOLLY. Santa Claus is described as JOLLY and Christmas songs tell us to have a JOLLY Christmas. Now, that is not possible if you have spun yourself into the commercial web and built a fortress of “should” for the holiday. Let go of the holiday stress and make JOLLY an honorable goal for you and your family this season. What do you want to joyfully do for this holiday season? Do that and you will find that not only are you joyful but there will be a sense of JOLLINESS inside of you. You may find yourself belting out Christmas songs from the bottom of your solar plexus and dancing around holiday lights just because there is JOLLY sense of fun and excitement in the air. When a “should” pops up and says, “You should ________________________.” Laugh at it and speak your mind back to that “should.” Tell it, “Hey, I am having fun. If you need to be grumpy right now, then go ahead but I am doing what I want.” Use Christmas bags so that you don’t have to waste time wrapping gifts that will be torn up in seconds. Give yourself permission to order Christmas dinner if you don’t want to cook. If you don’t have small kids get up when you want. If you do have small kids learn to enjoy the chaos. Have a JOLLY good time enjoying precious moments with those you love and like. Minimize your time with those you don’t like! Express JOLLY and watch it grow.

YOUR LIFE A-Z: ILLUMINATIONS

2014-12-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Illuminate Your Path

ILLUMINATIONS

Light it up and let it be radiant everywhere during this holiday season. For me, there is something magical about holiday lights and the more lights the merrier. Colorful red, green, orange, purple, gold, white, and any variety of ILLUMINATIONS make the holiday season a magical wonderland of mystery and delight. Get out of your house. Walk your neighborhood and look at the decorations of ILLUMINATIONS throughout your neighborhood. Drive through neighborhoods and enjoy the ILLUMINATIONS in their many displays from Santa to Snoopy. Take a Christmas lights tour on a bus or find places like zoos, parks, hotels that ILLUMINATE every inch of their property for your enjoyment. In 18^th century Germany, the wealthy decorated their Christmas trees with real candles and that tradition traveled internationally until electricity became widely used. In 1895, President Grover Cleveland lit the first outdoor Christmas tree at the White House. The darkness of winter, the mystery of the Christ child, the magic of Kris Kringle, St. Nick, and Santa Claus seem to thrive in the ILLUMINATIONS of holiday spirit. What in your life needs to be ILLUMINATED with some light in order for you to navigate the dark waters of your life a bit better? Where in your life can ILLUMINATIONS be helpful to you right now? Sometimes you cannot change the darkness of a situation in your life, but what would happen if you added ILLUMINATION to the darkness in order that you could see better and be less afraid? ILLUMINATION brings light and light helps when darkness abounds. Enjoy the holiday ILLUMINATIONS.