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Life is a continuous Test meaning of Loss

2018-06-12T08:34:00.000+08:00

Tests in Life ~ Coping with the loss of loved ones

Preparing ourselves for Ramadhan & Syawal Without Loved ones –

Life is Tests : Types of Tests

n Worldly Materials (Al-Kahfi 18: 7)

n Life Pleasure (Ad-Dar 76: 2)

n Evil Temptation (Al-A’raf 7: 27) (Al-Hijr 15: 39-40)

n Temptations (nafs) (Al-Maidah 5: 48)

n Good and bad (An-Anbia 21: 35)

n The best and the worst (why?) (Al-A’raaf 7 :168)

n Fear, hunger, Loss of Wealth & Children (Al-Baqarah 2: 155)

n Status (Title and Position) (Al-An’am 6: 165)

TAJUK : Kelebihan / kehebatan Surah Al- Insyirah.

1. Nabi Muhammad S.A.W bersabda : "Barangsiapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah, seperti ia mend
atangi aku dan aku mengambil kesempatan maka menjadi suatu kelapangan daripadaku".
2. Barangsiapa membiasakan membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah selesai mengerjakan solat fardhu, nescaya Allah permudahkan urusannya serta dimudahkan segala keperluannya dan dimudahkan rezekinya.
3. Sesiapa yang membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah nescaya Allah turut melapangkan dadanya serta dijauhkan daripada segala kesukaran dalam segala urusannya. Dihilangkan segala sifat kesal dan jemu, serta mendatangkan rajin dalam mengerjakan ibadat.
4. Barangsiapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah sembilan kali sesudah solat fardhu nescaya Allah akan menjauhkan daripada kesempitan hidup dan dimudahkan rezeki dalam segala urusan.
5. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah jadi wirid pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang fardhu, nescaya hilang dukacita nya dan mengurniailah oleh Allah s.w.t. akan rezekinya dengan beberapa banyak.
6. Siapa-siapa sentiasa banyak membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah nescaya mudah mendapat rezekinya dan luas fikirannya, senang membuat sesuatu pekerjaan dan hilang daripadanya sifat malas.
7. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 7 (tujuh) kali pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang, nescaya terlepas daripadanya kesusahan dan mudah oleh Allah s.w.t. akan rezekinya.
8. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 40 (empat puluh) kali pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang fardhu selama tujuh hari berturut-turut, nescaya mengurnia Allah s.w.t. kepadanya kekayaan.
:: Siapa-siapa susah pada suatu pekerjaan, hendaklah sembahyang dengan cara yang tersebut di bawah ini, nescaya sampai maksudnya, iaitu:
1. Sembahyang sunat dua rakaat.
2. Pada tiap-tiap rakaat baca Surah Al-Fatihah dan surah (mana-mana surah)
3. Lepas sembahyang, duduk menghadap kiblat dengan tetap bersungguh-sungguh ingatlah akan Allah s.w.t., dan baca Surah Al-Insyiraah sebanyak bilangan hurufnya.
4. Sesudah membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah, pohonkanlah apa-apa yang di hajati daripada Allah s.w.t.
:: Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 200 (dua ratus) kali pada tiap-tiap hari ketika matahari naik (waktu dhuha), nescaya memperlihat oleh Allah s.w.t. kepadanya perkara-perkara yang ajaib.
:: Siapa-siapa berhajat sesuatu perkara, bacalah Surah Al-Insyiraah 700 (tujuh ratus) kali atau 1000 (seribu) kali pada tiap-tiap hari selama ia mengusahakannya, nescaya beroleh apa-apa yang di hajati.
:: Siapa-siapa menulis Surah Al-Insyiraah pada suatu bekas dan menghapuskannya dengan air mawar kemudian minum, nescaya hilang dukacitanya dan terpelihara daripada terkejut.
Setengah daripada khasiat Surah Al-Insyiraah itu ialah di baca kerana jadi ubat demam dengan kifayat:
1. Ambillah seurat benang daripada kulit kayu dan bacakan Surah Al-Insyiraah.
2. Tiap-tiap ketika baca huruf “Kaf” daripadanya, simpullah benang itu sekali, hingga cukup jumlah semuanya tujuh kali simpul.
Kemudian ikatkan benang itu ke tangan orang yang demam pada pergelangannya yang di sebelah kiri.
:: Siapa-siapa benak menghafaz, tulislah Surah Al-Insyiraah dan minum airnya bersama-sama menelan air liur ketika berbuka puasa selama tujuh hari berturut-turut, nescaya mudah ingat apa-apa yang di hafaznya, dan jika minum airnya itu lain daripada masa berbuka boleh juga, tetapi yang baiknya ialah pada masa yang tersebut.
Yang baik jadikan pedoman dan yang buruk jadikan sempadan..
:: SELAMAT BER'AMAL ::

courtesy: http://ctss-siti.blogspot.com/2012/12/tajuk-kelebihan-kehebatan-surah-al.html

RAHASIA SURAH AL-KAUTSAR>>>
BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHIM

INNA A'TTOINA KALKAUTSAR
FADSALLILI ROBBIKA WANHAR
INNA SYAANIAKA HUAL AB TAR

Surah ini paling pendek, hanya mengandungi 3 ayat dan diturunkan di makkah dan bermaksud sungai di surga.kolam sungai ini diperbuat daripada batu permata nan indah dan cantik.
Rasanya lebih manis daripada madu, warnanya pula lebih putih daripada susu dan lebih wangi daripada kasturi.
Surah ini disifatkan sebagai surah penghibur hati nabi muhammad kerana diturunkan ketika baginda bersedih atas kematian 2 orang yang dikasihi yaitu anak lelakinya ibrahim dan bapak saudaranya abu thalib.
Berbagai khasiat terkandung di dalam surah ini boleh di amalkan:-

♥baca surah ini ketika hujan turun dan berdoa, mudah-mudahan allah s.w.t memakbulkan doa kita.

♥jika kita kehausan dan tiada air, bacalah surah ini dan gosokan di keher, insya allah hilang dahaga

♥jika sering sakit mata, seperti berair, gatal,bangkak sapukan air mawar yang sudah dibacakan surah ini sebanyak 10x pada mata.
♥jika rumah dipercayai terkena sihir, baca surah ini 10x muda-mudahan allah s.w.t bagi ilham kepada kita dimana letaknya sihir itu

♥jika membacanya 1, 000x rezeki kita akan bertambah

♥jika rajin membacanya, hati kita akan menjadi lembut dan khusyuk ketika menunaikan sholat

♥jika orang teraniaya dan terpenjara membacanya sebanyak 71x, allah s.w.t akanmemberikan bantuan kepadanya kerana dia tidak bersalah tetapi dizalimi

(ADA 2 PILIHAN UNTUK ANDA)
1)biakan didalan ini anda tanpa bermanfaat untuk orang lain.
2) anda sebarkan pada semua kenalan anda.

Rasulullah bersabda,
"Barang siapa menyampaikan (1) satu ilmu saja dan ada orang yang mengamalkan, maka walaupun yang menyampaikan sudah tiada (meninggal dunia)
, dia akan tetap memperoleh pahala

Courtesy: Zarra Health & Beauty - GLUTA C

So Soon
~~~~~~~~~~
Every time I close my eyes I see you in front of me
I still can hear your voice calling out my name
And I remember all the stories you told me
I miss the time you were around (x2)
But I’m so grateful for every moment I spent with you
‘Cause I know life won’t last forever

Chorus:
You went so soon, so soon
You left so soon, so soon
I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long
I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong
I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard
I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone
Gone so soon

Night and day, I still feel you are close to me
And I remember you in every prayer that I make
Every single day may you be shaded by His mercy
But life is not the same, and it will never be the same
But I’m so thankful for every memory I shared with you
‘Cause I know this life is not forever

CHORUS

There were days when I had no strength to go on
I felt so weak and I just couldn’t help asking: “Why?”
But I got through all the pain when I truly accepted
That to God we all

MY NOTES:

Normal Reactions to Loss

There are many ways to cope with loss. Be familiar with normal reactions to loss such as feeling sad, lonely, urge to cry, etc. some people choose to write poems , dedicate them to their loved ones, write letters or some create scrap books to put together all the memories one has about their loved ones. all this helped people cope with the loss. ..definitely good way to express oneself. There is no one rigth way to cope.Important to know that people cope differently. What works for me may not necessary work for others but talking to someone help us see that we are not alone..listening to different of coping also help give us some alternatives to explore in dealing with our own grief.

When one needs professional help?

While grieving is normal reaction to loss, one may need assistance when the loss affect their normal functioning in their daily life. talking to professional helper will help them sort out their grief issues and work on dealing with their loss more effectively. Important to let you and those affected that in the process, we are not working on forgetting the loved ones But work on remembering them with less pain. Most of the time, loss leads to reactions such as sad, urge to cry, feeling lonely, etc but important to know that those are normal reactions..Normalizing the reaction help them see and make them feel they are ok and give them the corage to move on with their life although life can be difficult and painful without their loved ones around.

· loss of a parent & dealing with the living parent

By Haniza Rais in Loss of loved ones: Grief Group Malaysia (Files) · Edit Doc · Delete

In reaction to Idayu's Story"

I heard of similar story, one parent was sick, the other one was strong who took care of the sick - and yet the one who seemed to be strong was taken first. anyone member may not cry or may be keeping everything to her/himself. They may seem refuse to share. truth is, she or is dealing with her own loss in her/his own way - may s/he is not ready to share. If s/he does not cry does not s/he does not feel sad or feel the loss. just be there for them. Our folks are not used to expressing their feelings when it come to loss like this. it is our culture. .By being there is important and checking on the living parent regularly - ask her/him, how is s/he now that the other parent is no longer around. sometime they will repeat the same thing about their late spouse. and that is ok. Dont stop them that will make them upset. no matter how many times just listen. turht is, people grieve different ways at different times. It does not have to be immediate. it can be later. most likely heighten at certain occasions such as hari raya, bdays, etc.so just remember loss can bring family together or apart. be there for your mom.. sometime our own grief to one parent, can actually affect relationship with other parent due to our different expectations. be there for her..let her know that you will be there if they need you - if they need to talk to you about their loss

Tazkirah Ramadhan: Tests in Life ~ Coping with the loss of loved ones Preparing ourselves for Ramadhan & Syawal Without Loved ones –

2017-06-10T06:30:00.001+08:00

Tests in Life ~ Coping with the loss of loved ones

Preparing ourselves for Ramadhan & Syawal Without Loved ones –

Life is Tests : Types of Tests

n Worldly Materials (Al-Kahfi 18: 7)

n Life Pleasure (Ad-Dar 76: 2)

n Evil Temptation (Al-A’raf 7: 27) (Al-Hijr 15: 39-40)

n Temptations (nafs) (Al-Maidah 5: 48)

n Good and bad (An-Anbia 21: 35)

n The best and the worst (why?) (Al-A’raaf 7 :168)

n Fear, hunger, Loss of Wealth & Children (Al-Baqarah 2: 155)

n Status (Title and Position) (Al-An’am 6: 165)

TAJUK : Kelebihan / kehebatan Surah Al- Insyirah.

1. Nabi Muhammad S.A.W bersabda : "Barangsiapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah, seperti ia mendatangi aku dan aku mengambil kesempatan maka menjadi suatu kelapangan daripadaku".
2. Barangsiapa membiasakan membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah selesai mengerjakan solat fardhu, nescaya Allah permudahkan urusannya serta dimudahkan segala keperluannya dan dimudahkan rezekinya.
3. Sesiapa yang membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah nescaya Allah turut melapangkan dadanya serta dijauhkan daripada segala kesukaran dalam segala urusannya. Dihilangkan segala sifat kesal dan jemu, serta mendatangkan rajin dalam mengerjakan ibadat.
4. Barangsiapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah sembilan kali sesudah solat fardhu nescaya Allah akan menjauhkan daripada kesempitan hidup dan dimudahkan rezeki dalam segala urusan.
5. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah jadi wirid pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang fardhu, nescaya hilang dukacita nya dan mengurniailah oleh Allah s.w.t. akan rezekinya dengan beberapa banyak.
6. Siapa-siapa sentiasa banyak membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah nescaya mudah mendapat rezekinya dan luas fikirannya, senang membuat sesuatu pekerjaan dan hilang daripadanya sifat malas.
7. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 7 (tujuh) kali pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang, nescaya terlepas daripadanya kesusahan dan mudah oleh Allah s.w.t. akan rezekinya.
8. Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 40 (empat puluh) kali pada tiap-tiap lepas sembahyang fardhu selama tujuh hari berturut-turut, nescaya mengurnia Allah s.w.t. kepadanya kekayaan.
:: Siapa-siapa susah pada suatu pekerjaan, hendaklah sembahyang dengan cara yang tersebut di bawah ini, nescaya sampai maksudnya, iaitu:
1. Sembahyang sunat dua rakaat.
2. Pada tiap-tiap rakaat baca Surah Al-Fatihah dan surah (mana-mana surah)
3. Lepas sembahyang, duduk menghadap kiblat dengan tetap bersungguh-sungguh ingatlah akan Allah s.w.t., dan baca Surah Al-Insyiraah sebanyak bilangan hurufnya.
4. Sesudah membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah, pohonkanlah apa-apa yang di hajati daripada Allah s.w.t.
:: Siapa-siapa membaca Surah Al-Insyiraah 200 (dua ratus) kali pada tiap-tiap hari ketika matahari naik (waktu dhuha), nescaya memperlihat oleh Allah s.w.t. kepadanya perkara-perkara yang ajaib.
:: Siapa-siapa berhajat sesuatu perkara, bacalah Surah Al-Insyiraah 700 (tujuh ratus) kali atau 1000 (seribu) kali pada tiap-tiap hari selama ia mengusahakannya, nescaya beroleh apa-apa yang di hajati.
:: Siapa-siapa menulis Surah Al-Insyiraah pada suatu bekas dan menghapuskannya dengan air mawar kemudian minum, nescaya hilang dukacitanya dan terpelihara daripada terkejut.
Setengah daripada khasiat Surah Al-Insyiraah itu ialah di baca kerana jadi ubat demam dengan kifayat:
1. Ambillah seurat benang daripada kulit kayu dan bacakan Surah Al-Insyiraah.
2. Tiap-tiap ketika baca huruf “Kaf” daripadanya, simpullah benang itu sekali, hingga cukup jumlah semuanya tujuh kali simpul.
Kemudian ikatkan benang itu ke tangan orang yang demam pada pergelangannya yang di sebelah kiri.
:: Siapa-siapa benak menghafaz, tulislah Surah Al-Insyiraah dan minum airnya bersama-sama menelan air liur ketika berbuka puasa selama tujuh hari berturut-turut, nescaya mudah ingat apa-apa yang di hafaznya, dan jika minum airnya itu lain daripada masa berbuka boleh juga, tetapi yang baiknya ialah pada masa yang tersebut.
Yang baik jadikan pedoman dan yang buruk jadikan sempadan..
:: SELAMAT BER'AMAL ::

courtesy: http://ctss-siti.blogspot.com/2012/12/tajuk-kelebihan-kehebatan-surah-al.html

RAHASIA SURAH AL-KAUTSAR>>>
BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHIM

Courtesy: Zarra Health & Beauty - GLUTA C

MY NOTES:

Normal Reactions to Loss

When one needs professional help?

· loss of a parent & dealing with the living parent

By Haniza Rais in Loss of loved ones: Grief Group Malaysia (Files) · Edit Doc · Delete

In reaction to Idayu's Story"

أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ ﴿١﴾

1. Have We not expanded thee thy breast?

C6188. Cf. the prayer of Moses in 20:25.

The breast is symbolically the scat of knowledge and the highest feelings of love and affection, the treasure-house in which are stored the jewels of that quality of human character which approaches nearest to the divine.

The Holy Prophet's human nature had been purified, expanded, and elevated, so that he became a Mercy to all Creation. Such a nature could afford to ignore the lower motives of ordinary humanity which caused shamefulattacks to be made on him.

Its strength and courage could also bear the burden of the galling work which it had to do in denouncing sin, subduing it, and protecting Allah's creatures from its oppression.

وَوَضَعْنَا عَنكَ وِزْرَكَ ﴿٢﴾

2. And removed from thee thy burden

C6189. See last note.

It is indeed a grievous and galling burden for a man to fight single-handed against sin. But Allah sends His grace and aid, and that burden is removed, or converted into joy and triumph in the service of the One True God.

الَّذِي أَنقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ ﴿٣﴾

3. The which did gall thy back? --

وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ ﴿٤﴾

4. And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? --

C6190. The Prophet's virtues, the magnanimity of his character, and his love for mankind were fully recognised even in his lifetime, and his name stands highest among the heroic leaders of mankind.

The phrase used here is more comprehensive in meaning than that used for various prophets in 37:119 etc.;

"We left this blessing for them among generations to come in later times".

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٥﴾

5. So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:

C6191. This verse is repeated for extra emphasis.

Whatever difficulties or troubles are encountered by men, Allah always provides a solution, a way out, a relief, a way to lead to ease and happiness, if we only follow His Path and show our Faith by patience and well-doing.

The solution or relief does not merely come after the Difficulty: it is provided with it.

I understand the definite article in al-usr in a generic sense, and translate: "every difficulty".

In 92:7, 1 have translated Yusr as Bliss, and

in 92:10 'Usr as Misery.

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٦﴾

6. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ ﴿٧﴾

7. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labor hard,

C6192. When thou art free: or when thou art relieved,

The words understood may be: from thy immediate task, that of preaching to men, denouncing sin, and encouraging righteousness; or, from the difficulties that confronted thee. When that happens, that does not finish the labours of the man of Allah. It is only one step to them. He has constantly and insistently to go on. When there is rest from the task of instructing the world, the contact with the spiritual kingdom continues, and indeed it becomes more intimate and concentrated.

وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ ﴿٨﴾

8. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

C6193. The kingdom of Allah is everything. Other things are incidental, and really do not matter.

Worldly greatness or success may be a means to an end, but it may also be a hindrance to true spiritual greatness. Allah is the goal of the righteous man's whole attention and desire.

أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ ﴿١﴾

1. Have We not expanded thee thy breast?

C6188. Cf. the prayer of Moses in 20:25.

Its strength and courage could also bear the burden of the galling work which it had to do in denouncing sin, subduing it, and protecting Allah's creatures from its oppression.

وَوَضَعْنَا عَنكَ وِزْرَكَ ﴿٢﴾

2. And removed from thee thy burden

C6189. See last note.

الَّذِي أَنقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ ﴿٣﴾

3. The which did gall thy back? --

وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ ﴿٤﴾

4. And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)? --

The phrase used here is more comprehensive in meaning than that used for various prophets in 37:119 etc.;

"We left this blessing for them among generations to come in later times".

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٥﴾

5. So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:

C6191. This verse is repeated for extra emphasis.

The solution or relief does not merely come after the Difficulty: it is provided with it.

I understand the definite article in al-usr in a generic sense, and translate: "every difficulty".

In 92:7, 1 have translated Yusr as Bliss, and

in 92:10 'Usr as Misery.

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴿٦﴾

6. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.

فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ ﴿٧﴾

7. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labor hard,

C6192. When thou art free: or when thou art relieved,

وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ ﴿٨﴾

8. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.

C6193. The kingdom of Allah is everything. Other things are incidental, and really do not matter.

Worldly greatness or success may be a means to an end, but it may also be a hindrance to true spiritual greatness. Allah is the goal of the righteous man's whole attention and desire.

I am the VIP of the journey

2016-08-18T03:31:00.001+08:00

Prelude

I thought I was not prepared

The book is written to help people prepare for Haj journey.Who are we to say we are not ready. When it is fated and planned for us, There it is coming unexpectedly.

No Expectation

This journey was a gift - unplanned unexpected. It really came to us by surprise. Very much beyond expectation. That was the year we had Eid celebrated yearly at the Kulliyyah. Suhailah told me, her husband wanted to go for haj this year so she submitted the form. I heard and thought of it but deep down knew, it was not possible.
But as I got back to the office, I thought of responding to the email inviting IIUM staff to apply for Haj trip that year. It was a normal busy days at the Department, I filled the form and requested my PA Ika to find time when she could send the form to the office of the mosque. It was passed over due. With the thought, they would put me in the queue: next year, the year after or whenever.

Not Just another phone call

Thu Sept 5th, 2013
Early in the morning, I was at the car park just arrived. I was so shocked and was not sure what I said. Wasn't sure at all. Was I ready? Should I take this offer? Do I have the money? My children? My son with his UPSR my 2nd daughter PT3, My 1st final Exam. My little girl? Ohh.. was never left home without me - not even a week.

Yes, sis, you are chosen! - could hear a lady's voice on the phone - like a wake up call to 'wake me up' I supposed.

"But I dont have sufficient fund in my account?"

"Then you must make sure RM10K in the account"

"But I am not sure whether I can go or not"

"you have to decide sis, many are waiting. If you reject, there are so many are in the waiting list"

"Ok Ok.. give me a week"

"No you must decide quick - we have less than a month"

Gulping air in my throat. " What do I do now?"
I took out RM4K last year for the kenduri. I never deducted much from my paycheck since then.

Calm down! Told myself. immediately need to call my husband. Then Istigharah was the only one thing on my mind to help with the decision.

The phone call came in when least expected. I was not sure what/how to respond. My only question is, Are we ready and do we have the money? Smsing my hubby the news. I went thru day, attending all the meetings & hari raya gathering, with the idea of 'going or not going' at the back of my head. reached home with ample time to prepare for Solat hajat UPSR and yasin at Alif's school. dropped alif at SKRM.
Azman immediate response,
"No. Not this year. Next year insyaAllah, we can"
"Ok, let us do istigharah for 3 days."
Sending Azman at the airport for his 4 days work/business trip. Sending him off with the reminder to think about 'it' and make decision. It was late, had to send Aina& Aula at Nana's house before heading to Alif's school. Just in time for yasin recitation and do the rest til the end. Had dinner at Nana's. Then headed home with more thinking to do. I know I had to do the istigharah. I had to wake up for the solat to help me decide. Opportunity to do other solat as well for me to have a more peaceful mind. Yes I am giving myself till monday to decide. what's apping my siblings about the offer. All positive responses gotten.

Who are we to say we're not ready?
While Azman was out station in Johor Bharu. I called him that night.

Oh My Kids !!

I was not sure but not ready to say no. In my head, who would stay with my kids. I had no maid. My kids are in the middle of important exam. Alif had been taking series of trial exams. The results were not as expected. Teachers were'nt happy with him.I was warned about this. He needed my attention this time

First night i completed istigharah and Solat hajat. The next day, things went on as usual. I thought, it wouldn't happen. I had not enough cash to fill up the account with not just 10K but 20K. But I would check on the balance of our account anyway. Of course. Not enough but it was more than I thought. Azman had slightly more than mine. He deducted some while he worked with MIROS. So my next action was to look for cash in all accounts. If it was enough, it would be a good sign. In my heart, I knew. It was not possible.

Azman was still away. 2nd night, I just couldn't keep this to myself and had the urge to tell my mother-in-law. I know if mom and dad were around, I would have called them right away. So I did. got the green light from Azman, that I could call my Mother-in-law.
I told my mother-in-law. We were not sure. unprepared especially major concern was financial limitation. I promise her, I would inform her if decision otherwise.We would complete 3 nights of istigharah. The account was still insufficient.

3rd night, check on Azman. He said he did his istighrah and hajat. This will be the last one before I give my answer to IIUM person's in-charge.
That night, Mother-in-law called telling me, she had taken out the kain ihram (white clothes) of the late FiL and washed them. I was speechless. I had no decision yet. Talking to her, everything seemed so certain and positive.
She said, "Dont worry, no need to istigharah anymore. Just go, will find ways to get the money".

I couldnt say much. I know I had no source for this.

My KIDS without me?
gonna miss all the highlights in their lives.

Friday Sept 6th, 2013

It is Alif's birthday. It is going to be a busy friday with Azman not home to help. I just simply followed the flow. Sending Aula and Alif to school before going to Aina's report card. We were among the earliest ones waiting. Having breakfast with Aina, breakfast for two, sorting things out. decided to take a day off just to think. Once confirmed with my annual leave, I called my siblings to have lunch together. I was so fickle today about everything. about everything. even what to have for lunch. Dominos? nasi arab? or Ayam penyet? sending alif to the mosque for his friday solat. Aina was out for her group study and Alif SRA. Leaving me and Aula alone.

Went to PKNS, checking on all my saving and current accounts, withdrawing cash from my saving alhamdulillah, not sure if we would have enough, I check all the balance of my accounts. BIMB, RHB, Muamalat, Bank Rakyat, ASB. Strange but true. I found more cash that I expected in the account. Teaching claim, delayed training payment were in. Here and there.. a few thousands out. I was told about EPF that we could take out as well. But it was not possible to withdraw right away.
Surprise.. suprise. 10K each account
I pumped in both my Tabung Haji account and Azman's. I was pleasantly surprised to see, the amount was more than what i thought. In fact enough.

First stage is accomplished, at least, the accounts are ready. Now same questions, Can we be ready in short notice and do we have the money for other matters? Friday night, another Yasin and solat hajat PSRA/UPSR for Alif at his SRA al-Hijriah. Call Aliya, informing her the possibility.

Called Azman. all saving account emptied. Both our account filled up. two days ago I said, If I managed to get the account filled up with RM10K, it would be a good sign. At this moment, I only wait for Azman to say YES, definitely.

But what about other expenses? at home? kids expenses. My kids' caregiver babysitter? Our own expenses for 40 days away. Not making sense with almost zero balance in our account.
But my mind was saying that would be a way. I should say yes.

Saturday Sept 7th, 2013
Sending Alif to his finale math/science tuition with Puan Azimah in the morning with Aula. Had breakfast with Aula this time. breakfast for two.

Sunday Sept 8th, 2013
woke up 5.30am and Aula was awake too. so quite, so Aula on my chest, watching tv. Opportunity to ask and find out how much she knew about our plan. It turned out that Aina has told her about it.

Telling Aula about it, is not difficult after all. We talked about the five pillars of Islam - the kids's version. I told her that I am going to be away for 40 days and she will have Umi taking care of her and Hayfa to play with. She nodded understood.
Do you know why I need to go for Haj?
We are Muslim. All Muslim has to do 5 things:
1. Muslim must know Allah is our God, who creates us, mama, abah, aula and everything around us like sun, moon.
2. Solat 5 times a day
3. Fasting in Ramadhan, DO you know why we need to fast? To feel the hunger like people who have no food to eat. SOme people are so poor, they have no money to buy food.
4. Help the poor (zakat/sadakah) DO you know why need to give to the poor? So that they can have money to buy food, clothes and go to school.
5. last but not least, go for Haj. Everyone must do this if they have enough money. So I told her, we need to do the last one now that we have enough money. then I stopped there. She continue her nap.

YES means YES
My istigharah and solat hajat went on. I knew it if it was not meant for us, there would be hurdle. But if was the right decision, everything would be eased and smooth sailing.

Mental Preparation
Less than a month to the prepare. My mental preparation was zero. My main concern was that I didnt go to the Haj preparation course. Heard of people going every week for a few months.
A lot in my plate. My daughter in Alor Gajah was preparing for her final exam. The UPSR would happen in a few days for Alif. My class has just started. My boss needed to be told. My Head of Department's role needed a replacement. The Dean was surprised but happy for me. Many at work were taken by surprise with my unexpected decision.

UPSR Sept 10-12 (his bday month)

Puan Sharifah Husna SKRM counselor

It was almost certain.
I had tried asking my former maid to come and hope she would care enough to be with my kids while I was away. But she said No. I was sad. Later asked my sister with a small baby, if she could stay in Shah Alam and her hubby commute to work from my house. They said yes.. I was so grateful. Solat Syukur for such a blessing to have great support from siblings. Meanwhile two other siblings lived closed by in the same neighborhood.
I kept the practice of all the solat taubat, hajat, istigharah almost every night. I was doing it to overcome my fear of my unpreparedness in everything especially on the ibadah itself. All the mixed feelings of leaving my kids too long. It was hard to describe. I was so scared I would not able to perform the tasks accordingly as I did not get enough classes attended.

MY SEPTEMBER CALENDAR

SEPT
Tue 10
Wed 11	Table top exercise with MAS
Thu 12
Fri 13
Sat 14	JB ICEE
Sun15	PPG Class

mon 16	Holiday - Munawarah US ghazali ibrahim
Tue 17	persidangan BAKA & UIA
Wed 18
Thu 19
Fri 20
Sat 21	kursus haji opening SMK Bugisiah & Aula open day
Sat 22	kursus haji & gombak visit Azman's family friends - Mus house

Mon 23	traffic jam opening MEDC CISM ALIF PSRA
Tue 24	CISM & UIA class replacement ALIF PSRA
Wed 25	CISM & MEDC UIA closing ALIF PSRA
Thu 26	Last day CISM - aina solat hajat yasin smks7 ALIF PSRA ALIYA final exam
Fri 27	27th OIC conference farewell Dr Norazian & IIUM haj people meeting
Sat 28	knocked down with migraine. Cooked meal and off for LENDU UITM
Sun 29	Jeram - wedding and kinder
Mon 30	Led the Departmental Meeting & JPW

WORK VS WORK
Monday Sept 9th 2013
It is the first week of class. Add and drop week. My work is never ending. Appointment with a student early in the morning. Students flocked in the office for my signatures for all kinds of reasons.

The briefing went on from 11-1.30pm. Things to do within the next few days. places to visits to get documents ready. Religious Department, Immigration Dept, Registration Department, BIMB( Draft), medical check up, the meningitis jab, influenza and pneumonia, tabung Haji, etc. the 3-day crash course, etc. Information to be digested and tasks to be completed in the next few days..Back in the office, talked to my boss.. alhamdullillah she gives us all her support. Another pleasant response. Alhamdulillah, Allah has made it easy and pray it will till the end. I am back home focusing on Alif. Only doa for him.

Getting the shots and met my doctor friend - Dr Zaini for tips to stay healthy during Haj

Haj short course attended

Attended one day briefing on the procedure.
Attended 2.5 days of Haj theory and Practical course at the mosque
Attended half a day free course at al Munawarah with Ustaz Ibrahim (Brother of US Asri Rabbani)

Great reflection: Touched by his words of wisdom and his powerful Doa

20, 21, 23 Sept 2013 Kursus haji di UIA
Ustaz Hj Kamal -

Ustaz Hj Kamal -

The TH staff were very calm and patient. I admired them for their pleasant way of providing services. Allah has eased the process. one after another good signs shown.

Rush to perform my duty as HoD - short speech for the delegates from SMKA Bugisiah Johor .

alif and aula with us. Alif just finished his UPSR

drawing: what else..

The Preparation began:

Listings
Solat ready hijab/tudung
Jubah

this was so real ..

OCTOBER BEGINS....

Oct
1 Tue	Our anniversary Aina library, aula sekolah, take a day off breakfast with 85 gals at Empire, Shop with ojie subang parade/pkns, dinner kedai kopi
2 Wed	Aina's PT3 - BM & PI, uia ictem, frgs, Finalize the haj leave, Meet the Dean, worked on the proposal for mental health Day with students, settle Alif's application for SBP
3 Thu	EPF withraws, Tabung haji, MARA students Aina's PT3: BI & Geog
4 Fri	aula sekolah, alif sekolah, EPF, tukar address tbg haji, tukar duit
5
6
7

Was so busy with things but managed to get good buddy Ojie who volunteered to help me and accompany me to PKNS Shah Alam - everything is here!

PT3 Aina is here. Just a day after our anniversary

Her colorful notes

Her good buddies. Mama took a leave and waited at the canteen.

Faces of Straight As

simple Lunch in between

With her ustazah and my former student /Aina's wonderful school counselor _ Puan Zarina -

Another visit to TH

spring cleaning the house before leaving. such a pleasant look when all are cleared.

DOA BUAT DIRI DAN YANG TERSAYANG

PAGE - UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Will write more insyaAllah...

Tuesday Sept 10th -
Wednesday Sept 11th - Was at the table top exercise
Thu sept 12th
Friday Sept 13th
Sat Sept 14th JB ICEE - kajang
Sun Sept 15th PPG

Mon Sept 16 holiday - Munawarah US ghazali ibrahim
Tue sept 17 BAKA persidangan & UIA ?
Wed Sept 18
Thu sept 19
Friday sept 20 -
Saturday sept 21 - kursus haji opening SMK Bugisiah & Aula open day
Sunday sept 22 - kursus haji & gombak Mus house

CISM workshop not to be missed

Mon Sept 23 traffic jam opening MEDC CISM ALIF PSRA
tues sept 24 CISM & UIA class replacement ALIF PSRA
Wed sept 25 CISM & UIA closing ALIF PSRA
Thu- sept 26 last day CISM - aina solat hajat yasin smks7 ALIF PSRA ALIYA final exam
Friday Sept 27th OIC conference farewell K yan & haj people.replacement
Sat Sept 28 Not well migraine - cook and after maghrib to lendu
Sun Sept 29 wedding kenduri Jeram K nren
Mon sept 30 JPW, Dept meeting clean the room with atiqah and CT

Tue Oct 1 aina library, aula sekolah, cuti breakfast with 85 gals empire, shop with ojie subang parade/pkns, dinner kedai kopi

Wed Oct 2nd - Aina BM & PI, uia ictem, frgs, ambik cuti, meet dean, prop mental health, SBP Alif

Thu Oct 3rd Thu - EPF withraws, Tabung haji, MARA aina BI & Geog

Fri Oct 4th - aula sekolah, alif sekolah, EPF, tukar address tbg haji, tukar duit ke

Free Introduction to Art Therapy

2015-11-09T14:16:00.001+08:00

12 favorite foods of prophet Muhammad (pbuh) & thier advantages [HD]

2015-11-09T13:58:00.001+08:00

Beneficial-Islamic food -Sunnah- food - science is behind Islam

2015-11-09T13:44:00.001+08:00

How to Memorize Fast and Easily

2015-11-09T13:30:00.001+08:00

How to Study for a Test

2015-11-09T13:29:00.001+08:00

Doa Ramadhan ku mohon dari Mu Ya Allah

2014-07-27T07:43:00.000+08:00

My doa Ramadhan 2014.

Mohon dimakbulkan berkat bulan yang mulia ini..

Subhanallah
Alhamdulillah
AllahuAkbar

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku. Aku memohon keampunan dari mu dari segala dosa yg telah aku lakukan, sesungguhnya aku insan yang lemah, aku lupa dan lalai pd tanggungjawapku.. byk sungguh dosa ku pd mu YaAllah.. aku malu pada mu, kau beri nikmat kemudahan tapi aku masih leka dan tidak bersyukur pd mu. Aku lemah dgn godaan syaitan, dalam aku engkar aku masih diberi peluang menikmati keindahan dunia..

YA Allah, aku bersyukur pd nikmat yg melimpah ruah yg kau beri saban hari. kerap tidak kusedari dan jarang aku mensyukurinya. Aku lena dengan nikmat dunia. sesungguhnya aku sangat bersyukur pada nikmat dunia yang kau beri. Jangan lah kami leka pada kenikmatan sementara ini. Namun Alhadulillah, aku besyukur pada nikmat berkeluarga, nikmat memiliki anak yg bijak dan suami yg penyayang, adik beradik yang senditasa bersama dalam kesukaran, nikmat berkasihsayang, nikmat rezeki yg lebih dari mencukupi, nikmat kesihatan yg baik, nikmat pekerjaan yg stabil, nikmat berkeluarga dan adik beradik yg sempurna.

Sesungguhnya aku akur kekuasaan mu, kelebihan mu, kekuatan mu dan mengasihani kami insan yang penuh kelemahan ini. Aku mohon ihsan dari mu agar diri ini terus diberi kekuatan dalam menghadapi kehidupan ini dan bersedia pada alam seterusnya. Bantulah kami agar sentiasa mendahului hak Mu sebelum yang lain. urusan Mu sebelum urusan yang lain. Tetapkan solat kami tepat pada waktu, sempurna dan diterima.

Puja puji salawat buat junjungan nabi saw dan para sahabat. Muga peribadi dan akhlakmu kami jadikan amalan harian kami

Ya Allah kau ampuni dosa kedua ibubapaku, nenda nenda ku dan mereka yg telah tiada. Aku rindu pada mereka, berikan tempat yg tertinggi sesungguhnya kebaikan mereka keatas kami ilmu mereka yang kami gunakan, kau ampuni lah dosa mereka kau permudahkan urusan mereka disana. Lindungi mereka dari seksaan kubur sebaliknya kau lapangkan kubur mereka. Jasa mereka tiada tandingannya. Tanpa ilmu pengajaran mereka, tiada lah kami.

YA Allah jadi anakku anaknyg soleh dan solehah, anak anak yang sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan kami dunia dan akhirat, yang menjaga akhlak peribadi mereka, dgn akhlak terpuji , menjauhi segala larangan mu. yg bijak dan bijaksana dlm membuat keputusan, yg yang membawa kesejahteraan dunia akhirat. Agar mereka Sentiasa mendoakan kesejahtearaan kami dunia akhirat. Lembutkan hati mereka YaAllah. Banyakkan dan limpahkan kasih sayang antara kami dan mereka dan rasa tanggungjawap sesama sendiri mengutamakan agama dan keluarga dlm segala urusan mereka. Diterangkan hati pd ilmu dunia dan akhirat. Lulus segala ujian dgn cemerlang dan mendapat pekerjaan yg baik. Dipertemukan jodoh yang baik yang membawa mereka dekat pada Mu dan keluarga. Sempurnakan dan utamakan solat ini buat mu biar tepat pd waktu dan sempurna ibadahnya. Diterima ibadat dan doa kami

YA allah bentuklah peribadi mulia pada kami, sentiasa merendah diri dan tidak tamak dan sentiasa berkongsi ilmu dgn yg lain, dan mengamalkan ilmu yang kami perolehi. Terangkan hati kami pd ilmu yg berguna dan menyampaikan pd mereka yg memerlukan agar dipergunakan sebaiknya. Berilah kami kebijaksaana memilih ilmu yg baik dan pertunjuk Mu dalam membuat keputusan yg terbaik buat diri dan keluarga.

YA ALLAH kurniakan kesihatan buat kami panjangkan dan berkati usia kami agar kami gunakan kekuatan diri ini utk mengingati Mu dan beribadat kepada Mu. Kau sembuhkan lah segala penyakit yg ada pada diri kami yang nampak pada zahir mau pun tidak.. Buanglah segala kafarah penyakit maupun perasaan buruk dari hati kami.

YaAllah, buangkan sifat buruk kami dan gantikanlah dengan sifat yang mulia disisi-Mu.
Murahkan rezeki kami. Kami bersyukur pada pemberian Mu Ya Allah dan jgnlah kau putuskan rezeki kami. Amat bersyukur diberi rezeki anak anak yang kau jadikan peringatan pada kebesaran Mu dan Ujian buat diri kami. Berkati rezeki ini dan jauhi kami dari rezekinyang tidak yentu sumber halalnya dan tidak kami tamak atau lupa membersihkan rezeki kami pada yg hak..

Ya Allah, Berkatilah rezeki kami, masa dan usia kami dgn perkara yang berfaedah. Menhargai masa yang kau beri pada kami agar tidak lalai melakukan perbuatan tidak berfaedah.

Ya Allah , wujudkan kasih sayang berpanjangan antara kami anak beranak, adik beradik seiisi keluarga, jauhi perbalahan sesama kami, eratkan hubungan sesama kami Ya Allah. Satukan kami demi kebaikan semua. Dantidak takut memperjuangkandan membela agama mu ya Allah.

Ya Allah, Lindungi lah anak anak ku, suami ku adik beradik ku keluarga ku harta benda kami dari damana jua kami berada. Kami bersyukur dan jgnlah kau putuskan rezeki kami.
Kami mohon kesejahteraan dan keselamatan dunia dan akhirat.

Kami mohon perlindungan dari mu Ya Allah. Jauhkanlah kami dari fitnah, malapetaka, musibah, dosa, maksiat, hasad dengki irihati manusia, penyakit, azab kubur & api neraka , jauhi kami dari segala gangguan yang nyata maupun tidak, gangguan syaitan, gangguan mahkluk halus yang boleh membinasakan kami Ya Allah.

Ya Allah, Permudahkan urusan kami dunia akhirat. Jadikanlah kami individu, anak, ibu, isteri/suami, guru, perkerja , seorang sahabat yang disenangi keluarga saudaramara, rakan dan majikan kami. Satu pekerjaan yg halal buat kami suami isteri.

Ya Allah, Bahagiakan keluarga ini keluarga kami dgn kasih sayang jodoh yg berpanjangan, dapat mengangani kepayahan bersama, mengeratkan kasih sayang berterusan, bersatu satu keluarga dlm segala urusan yg mudah maupun yg payah. Jadikan kami isteri atau suami yg taat, anak sentiasa mendoakan kesejahteraan dan keampunan ibubapa,

Ya Allah, kami Mohon kekuatan diri kesabaran dalam menghadapi kesukaraan. Jgn kau jauhkan kami dikala kemenanagna maupun kepayahan..

Ya Allah, jadikalah kami makhluk yg bersyukur pada limpahan nikmat mu.. berlapang dada dan bersangka baik pada ketentuan mu. Dapat menerima ketetapan mu. Redha dlm segala pemberian yg ditakdirkan.

Ya Allah, Tunjukkan lah kami jalan yg benar jalan yg kau redhai...
Jgn lah kau sesatkan kami setelah kau beri kami pertunjuk dan hidayah mu

Ya Allah, kami panjatkan doa ini buat ibubapa kami, anak anak kami, guru guru kami, sahabat dan saudara kami serta umat islam yg menderita di merta dunia di syria, gaza, afghaniztan, etc. YA Allah tamatkan lah peperangan ini. Amankan dunia ini. Selamatkan lah umat Islam dari kekejaman musuh dan lindungi kami dimana kami berada.

Sampaikan doa buat teman kami shal wati dan ahli keluarga yg terlibat dlm MH370 dan MH17. Muga keluarga mereka diberi kekuatan menghadapi kesukaran ini.

Ya Allah, Terimalah solat/ ibadah, doa dan amalan kami buat diri kami, ibubapa dan orang yang kami sayangi. Sesungguhnya kami penuh dengan dosa namun kami mohon kekuatan dan kekerapan memohon taubat dari mu. Kuatkan iman kami istighamah dalam beramal kepada Mu. Matikan dlm iman. Permudahkan lah urusan kematian kami tidak menyikarkan mereka yang menjaga kami. Muliakan kami disisi mu, angkatkan darjat kami sungguh kami insan yg hina, dan kerap lupa. Kuat lah ingatan kami pada mu dan pada ilmu yang berguna.

Ameen, ameen Ya Rabal Alamin, kami insan kerdil memohon doa kami dimakbulkan, Tiada yg lain tempat kami memohon pertolongan, tempat kami bergantung hrapan melainkan Mu Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah diberi peluang kali ini,.. Alhamdulillah hajat kami dipenuhi Ramadhan ini. Muga kami terus bermunajat dengan Mu. Semuga kami istiqamah dalam ibadat kami buat Mu Ya Allah.

The best - Zikir dan Doa Selepas Solat oleh Hazamin Full Version - (Ehsan Astro Oasis)

2014-07-27T06:56:00.001+08:00

Cleansing ourselves daily: 5 times a day. Make it a meaningful one ~ Whudu' Sempurna - Astro Oasis

2014-07-27T06:55:00.001+08:00

2014-03-04T19:26:00.002+08:00

nak try recipe baru

nasi arab simple2 ala naimah
Oleh:Naimah Md Ludin
cc: www.facebook.com/bukuresepi

Bahan2 untuk Nasi
*1/2 sudu makan jintan manis
*1/2 sudu makan jintan putih
*1/2 sudu makan bunga cengkih
*1/2 sudu makan lada hitam
* 1 sudu makan biji ketumbar
*1/2 sudu makan buah pelaga
2 1/2 cawan beras basmathi (apa2 jenama pun boleh)
4 cawan air rebusan ayam (boleh guna kiub pati ayam n air biasa kalau xbuat stok ayam)
1/2 sudu besar garam
1 biji bawang besar
3 ulas bawang putih
5 biji buah pelaga
kulit kayu manis
bunga lawang
2 sudu besar minyak sapi
pewarna kuning & oren (kalau xdak ganti ngan serbuk kunyit bancuh ngan air)

cara:
-semua bahan bertanda * cuci bersih (guna penapis teh)
goreng tanpa minyak semua bahan * kemudian bland kering -sampai hampir jadi serbuk
-cuci bersih beras basmathi dan rendam 1/2 jam atau 1 jam
- panaskan minyak sapi,masukkan kayu manis,buah pelaga n bunga lawang.
-kemudian masukkan bawang besar dan bawang putih yg dihiris nipis(nak tumbuk/bland pun boleh)
-bila dah kekuningan, masukkan serbuk rempah yg di bland tadi.gaul sebati..kemudian masukkan beras.
-masukkan air stok ayam perasakan garam dan masak sampai nasi kering air.
-titik2kan pewarna dan biar seketika sebelum padamkan api...bila nak hidang baru gaul nasi biar bercampur warna
*boleh tambah daun ketumbar kalau nak bau lagi harum..potong daun n tabur atas nasi yg dah siap hidang
*(kalau betul2 nasi arab ada tambah arang yg dimasukkan dalam aluminium foil dan letak skit minyak,biar berasap letak atas nasi dan tutup periuk nasi-nak menaikkan aroma)

Resepi ayam
bahan untuk perap (bland semua bahan)
3 inci halia
2-3 biji kunyit hidup besar ibu jari
1 sudu makan jintan manis
1 sudu makan jintan putih
2 sudu makan biji ketumbar
1 sudu makan buah pelaga
1 sudu besar garam
2 sudu besar gula
1 biji bawang besar
6 ulas bawang putih
* 1 ekor ayam dibelah 2 tanpa putus (saya kelar2 skit2 kat isi ayam supaya rempah meresap ke dalam isi)
cara:
-bland semua bahan perap.gaulkan pada ayam dan perap lebih kurang 2-3 jam
-masukkan ayam dalam pemanggang
-panggang sampai masak
*masa hidang sy potong 2 ayam sekor tu..ambik separuh ja

resepi salad
-buah tomato
-timun
-lobak merah
-bawang
*cili hijau
*garam
*gula
*cuka (1 sudu kecil)
*perahan limau nipis
*4-5 sudu besar air masak /air tapis
-potong dadu semua bahan bertanda( - )
-cili hijau tumbuk2 kasar (nak hiris ja pun boleh)
-campur bahan dadu dan cili,tambah air,perasakan garam,gula,cuka dan perahan limau nipis/lemon

air asam
-3 biji cili merah
-5 biji cili padi (xnak pedas kurangkan)
-1 biji buah tomato
-1 biji bawang besar
- sedikit ja belacan (secubit ja)
-garam
-gula
-perahan limau nipis (boleh ganti ngn jus asam jawa)
-air masak (air tapis pun boleh)
cara:
bland semua bahan dengan air masak (agak2 air dalam 1/2 cawan)
-sedia hidang...yg simple2 ja ya..kalau nasi arab betul byk lagi rempahnya...
*kalau suka berkuah boleh tambah dalca sayur (letak terung,carrot,kacang panjang n kacang dal)

2013 is Special: My children turned 18, 15 and 12 this year when mama and abah both 45 with lil 5 YO going to kindy

2013-09-08T12:13:00.002+08:00

2013 is Special (under construction - finalizing & editing)

Every year we celebrate birthdays privately, 4 months consecutively: from June til September
(June 11, July 23, August 6, Sept 6)
and the finale is our anniversary month, October 1. This is our 19th year of marriage

This year is special. Extra special because everybody is entering another phases in life..All our 4 children are special in their own ways..none of them better than the other. They are who they are, making them just unique & special creations from our eyes.

This year, on August 6, Aliya, my first, turned 18. A grown up girl, young lady starting college, learning to be independent and responsible for herself. Perhaps getting more more supervision. The first grandchild to my parents, first female grandchild in my husband's side. I have to admit, we learned to improve our parenting skills from her. It was very conducive pregnancy period despite the terrible morning sickness with the support from my hubby, mom and dad. Mom is a directory 24/7. Mom is coaching me every single thing about preparation. Oh, I can still feel it, being pampered by people around me. 4 months of terrible morning sickness and 18 hours of labor, all the pain was nothing once she came to the world. I think her habit of staying late probably has something to do with her being born at 3am in the morning. Thank you Dr Habibah from PUSRAWI KL.
Being our first child is a challenge. as we too have our expectations and dreams. Life is almost perfect with her around. But all the uncertainties and unexpected things along the way, making all the ideals seemed far fetched. Having her is definitely not an experiment but rather experiential in nature. Learning from all sources of information, from reading to seeking views from people especially my mom, who was there all the time, during my first 4 years of parenting. When she turned 18, I reflect on my days when I turned 18. Life is a wonderful thing to venture in. But having unconditional love from my loving parents is all I need at that moment, when trust and confidence in me become my strengths to move on in a strange land full of strangers. How important to be staying connected with them and sticking to our root as a young Muslim become the foundation of life. I remember every bit of her childhood moments. Her loves for Barney has been contagious to all including all her young aunties who babysit her. it is interesting how to watch her language acquisition.
Having mom and dad speaking malay at home and her first few years with different language environment, she was not talking much at 2 years old. But once she started, she had all the coined words and created her own vocabulary. Kashoes (kasut and shoes), Atairs (upstairs & atas), Ayam seven for wings, ayam pokok for drummet, sayur pokok for brocolli etc. She talked to her uwan who babysat her in language no one can figure out. Grandma would report, to day Aliya said, this and that and asked her to clarify. Among our favourite phrase from her:
My mom said, I am not sure what she said today "Uwan, duke e dat" (Look at that),
or when asked where is mama, "mama gawak" (mama go work). Aliya nak balik Dewmington (bloomington).

July 23, Aina turned 15. I remember when I turned 15. Another phase of life. Another public exam PMR for her. Alhamdulillah, totally different way of doing things for her as I observed, her sense of getting academic excellence has improved compared to the laze-around, over confident, uncertain and lack focused, Aina when she was 12, taking UPSR taking everything for granted. But still, I know she can do better than this but she is still playful at times. Every year, jumped up from KRK4 to KRK3, KRK2 now she is in Terbilang, program. That scares me sometime, if she gets overly confident with the progress. This year, I have confirmed the necklace with my name on it that was my 15th birthday gift from my mom is hers. She has it on for the last few years and many have pointed out, why Niza not Aina. Hoping PMR will be her turning point to embark on another phase of life. InsyaAllah. Aina was born while mom is studying for her Master's Degree. She was in me when I had my commencement in 1998. I was a lady of leisure again waiting for her to be born. Getting ready to be home with all my loved ones in my home country. In less than 3 hours after my first 'not so painful contraction', I could smile holding her, breastfeeding her. The cool poker face male doctor from Bloomington Hospital. Thank you.

My only boy, Alif turned 12 today, Sept 6. Having a son after 2 girls, another joy to the family. He was conceived when I was just started my PhD. I had the luxury to plan my schedule just to spend time and play with him. I was not aware of the contractions pain (thot it was a tummy ache) and went for my weekly check up only that morning to find out, I was already 6-inches dilated. Dr Siti Aishah of Selangor Medical Centre (SMC) rushed me to the labor room. Sorry Doc, I didnt know. Alif was born around noon, zuhor time. And for the first time, decided to have a domestic helper in the house. Yes, he grew up together with me as I grew in my doctoral work. Raising him requires additional skills with a totally different perspective. Naturally, a very active boy, he was quite occupied with things all the time from one thing to another. He picked up a lot from his favorite playhouse disney channel. He wanted to be called abang even before Aula came into the picture. No matter how strange it might sound, we called him abang until he was 8, he became a real abang to Aula. But having baby sister he turned to be a big brother, excited with the newborn just like the rest of us in family. Smart but... His love for soccer takes away everything else in his life. Representing school for one match after another. In a few days, he will be sitting for UPSR. all the 5 series of trials. showed very inconsistent results. Deep down, I know he is smarter than this, but with his very minimal effort put on. Probably, much lessons to be learned so that he would stay on the ground.

June 11, Aula turned 5. The little angel who came all of the sudden. A post-Phd baby most people called it. A pleasant surprise to everyone. Digging back all the old baby items to recycle. It felt like we were having our first baby all over again. But this pregnancy, I was not pampered like before. I had work to get done. After my first trimester/ first few months of morning sickness, I picked up my energy and went all out to complete my tasks at work. With the post I was holding, I was everywhere. I was even at 3-day workshop 2 days before she was born. Shorter labor like Alif and Aina, but she is a morning person, 4am woke me up feeling uneasy. She is 'the rise and shine' girl. greeted the world by 7 in the morning. Thank you Dr Delaila of SJMC.
Keeping life busy and alive with lil one in the house. Energy fuel to my parental role. Really kept us occupied. She grew up so fast. She picked up things faster as she was surrounded by grown up sibling and adults. ohh.. I miss her already. She was a very determined lil girl. She knows and confident with herself, what she likes what she doesnt. Making decision on where to go to school is not easy as she was adamant to choose. I lost my power and authority as a parent. We almost gave up on sending her to kindy. taking her to so many schools around in Shah Alam. Trying to be in school for a day or two, only to 'drop' herself out after a few days later. She preferred to stay home doing her drawings, coloring, having all her kindy activities at home on her own, singing and dancing, role playing and even her own class setting. After 6 months of homeschooling, after her 5th birthday I tried my luck again. No doubt, I too was quite fussy with how things are done at school. None seemed to to, at least, give me the assurance or confidence that will be able to give my daughter what I want as a preschooler starting new beginning. Not the syllabus but the environment, is my major concern, the fun she should adventure to start her school days. A memorable pleasant experience not too academic but more fun interactions with teachers and friends. So I took her for another tour to search for school. really tough decision as I had to do away from choosing Islamic Montessori All her older siblings attending a very good Islamic Montessori The good thing was, she said yes but I was still skeptical. Wondering if I forked out that much money, and later suddenly she called it quits. Today after almost 3 months, she is still going to school, alhamdulillah.

At 45, we found without much planning, we are chosen to be among those millions to complete the 5th pillar of Islam. All the mixed feelings we have, slowly, taking our limited time to prepare to leave with hopes for changes in ourselves to be better Muslims. Alhamdullilah, May Allah ease our journey, and protect us all, our children and families, where ever we are while we are in this mission and also later, in life and life here-after.

Dura's wedding .. my original touch . supported by other sisters and flower creations assisted by cousins. feedback: hanrais@gmail.com

2013-08-18T14:25:00.003+08:00

May Allah bless my mom and dad Hj Rais & Hjh Hamidah for all the values & knowledge conveyed to the rest of us.. Muga tenang mereka disana. Al-fatihah.

Feedback to hanrais@gmail.com

Adverbs of frequency

2013-06-14T21:34:00.001+08:00

She is off to the Next Phase of Life..

2013-06-04T10:37:00.003+08:00

Life is a constant struggle. A battle to win over through thick and thin. Doing this and that. being here and there. We may seem to be the same persons but many things have altered us and our views on things. Things are moving fast. Time is leaving us faster than ever. I thought I was stil me like yesterday but unfortunately I am not. Many things have taken parts of me away from me. Talking about loss. and I can't be grieving over everything.

It was just like yesterday. I carried her for nine months pampering me and her through out my pregnancy with all my loved ones around supporting me with love and comfort. Hubby, Mom and dad were there, all the way. This little girl entered our life and brightens everything, teaching mom and dad the reality to life - family and parenting that we ventured without much difficulties.. Yes everybody helped me and that made her a happy baby when love was abundant surrounding her early years.
August 6, 1995 after 18 hours of labor. Anxiously, they waited. I still remember everyone was there for me. Mom was checking on me in the labor room, reciting all kinds of surah holding my hand and whispering them thru my ears. While hubby on standby to assist the delivery. It was a miracle to see how the pain disappeared immediately once she was born. Two days later we took her home in the outfit that is shown in the pic - now on the teddy bear that her little sister Aula put on just a day before she left for college.

Aliya first outfit from PUSRAWI hospital to home

It has been 2 days since Aliya left the house for UiTM. I am so thankful alhamdulillah, she was accepted. It is an opportunity. An opportunity to start anew. An opportunity to discover herself, who she is and things she is good at. Academic is just part of the requirement to graduate. But the journey to reach the end, is everything that contributes to the whole experiences. That will accumulate and Aliya will have to pick up these along the way. or else she will be just like any other graduates. She has to create the path, chart her own sense of self identity to be what she wants as she likes it and real succeed in the journey. To be outstanding in her own class. It is not just the CGPA but as whole a person with balanced personality that leads to the true meanings of happiness in life here and later.

I am happy she is starting college life with upbeat mood. She seems excited, we all are. We ll try to accomodate her with whatever makes her life journey pleasant.

Any mom can relate to how I feel about her leaving the nest. She is probably busy this week with orientation week. As she is adjusting to college life, I am adjusting to accept my girl is not anywhere in the house. My first night without her, I am wondering everything. I do believe she is doing well. I have all the confidence but I cant help but miss my girl.

She has listed everything, doing everything on her own. Though I feel left out sometimes, but I was convinced she probably thought I was a busy mom forever. Little that she knows, I will do anything for my children. Her list, I have to admit better version than mine.. with all the categories, quite advanced than what I normally did.

So I decided to write her letters to keep her company. All the reminders and just a means to 'touch base', I suppose. Actually this was not my original idea. Friends said, it was in a movie PS I love You.. some say, in a hindi movie. I didnt know. but it was her dad who started it. Many years ago, when I was away out station. He deserves the credit. I hope Aliya will read it. My wishful thinking she will write me back. but I know kids in this era dont write letters..So I am ok with it. so long my messages get to her.

Aliya first week at college will be remembered well. A very sweet moment for us to send off our sweet girl. I made doa, she is well and healthy, she loves what she is doing, do her best and be the best she can be. My wishes and hopes, she will go through the journey without any difficulties. She will be protected and surrounded by the support and love among friends and UITM community. You ve got our blessing, girl. Allah will always be with you and ease the journey. lots of love.

Gone So Soon..

2013-05-14T19:57:00.002+08:00

So Soon - Maher Zain

http://youtu.be/AipW909ybGQ

Every time I close my eyes I see you in front of me
I still can hear your voice calling out my name
And I remember all the stories you told me
I miss the time you were around (x2)
But I’m so grateful for every moment I spent with you
‘Cause I know life won’t last forever

Chorus:
You went so soon, so soon
You left so soon, so soon
I have to move on ’cause I know it’s been too long
I’ve got to stop the tears, keep my faith and be strong
I’ll try to take it all, even though it’s so hard
I see you in my dreams but when I wake up you are gone
Gone so soon

Night and day, I still feel you are close to me
And I remember you in every prayer that I make
Every single day may you be shaded by His mercy
But life is not the same, and it will never be the same
But I’m so thankful for every memory I shared with you
‘Cause I know this life is not forever

CHORUS

There were days when I had no strength to go on
I felt so weak and I just couldn’t help asking: “Why?”
But I got through all the pain when I truly accepted
That to God we all belong, and to Him we’ll return, oh

It's Mom's Day! White Rose for Mama

2013-05-12T07:18:00.000+08:00

White Rose for Mama

Putih.

The pearly white petals with soothing scent

The unseen presence felt

Creeping up every corners of my heart

Putih

The pure classy queen

Of a chosen king

Not to rule but already win

all the prince and princess to cling

Putih, the White Rose, made heads turn

Protected, not allowed to be taunted

Appeared sweet,yet significant

As it is always remembered

Come another year with no white roses for mama

Nor will she get a wish from a card

Because she is forever 'the' white rose

Forever bloomed in the garden of my heart

My Kristal Crib May 11, 2013

Life Pleasure

I ve been a mom for almost 18 years. But still, struggling to be the best. I am not going to talk about my motherhood experiences as I can't be certain that my record book can match the the two ladies in the picture.

I will only focus on my mom - Hjh Hamidah Abdullah, not many knew her as, Si 'Putih', born on Nov 25th, 1945 and left us August 27th 1999. The one lady that I have adored (and will forever adore) so much for every reasons available on earth. Among the greatest life pleasure Allah have granted me, an honor to spend those moment with someone with such loving and nurturing character.

Spending those years with her growing up with her in the background, no matter where I was, I felt very close. The frequent chats on the phone made me feel she was with me all the time. The one person I turned to, the one who kept track of my daily routine. Who could tell when I am happy or sad, worry or unsure. Who made good predictions of how I feel about things. Sometime, I didn't have to tell, the magic in her, she could guess I need her for comfort. She made thing feel good. And I obliged to make her feel good when things were not going our way too. I was always on standby mode to protect her when she was vulnerable. I would go all out to defend her and protect her from anything. I guess, that is how I acquired the resiliency to fight back.

I was so blessed to have her for 31 years. It has not been easy to live without her around. But her spirit is with me inside me. Very often when things were rough, I wish I could just reach for the phone and call her for comfort as I used to. To hear her voice to calm me down, taking away all the pain, difficulties and the complexity of how life can be.

I miss coming home on Friday and spend the whole weekend with her doing nothing but chatting especially on her bed or out tea time together at the porch. I never felt the distance where ever I was, as she would call me to update things, to ask for my opinions on anything. I felt very much appreciated by mom even though I know I was way too young and inexperienced to give my opinions and had my views accepted. I miss you mom so badly that I dont know how to describe.

On a different note, my mother-in-law, whom I got to know for the last 19 years - is also a reward from Allah for such a simple down-to-earth person. She is not a replacement of my mom but an addition to me in my family life.

Happy Mom's day to 2 most wonderful moms on earth. Both with loving and nurturing qualities that I can never match. Hjh Hamidah Abdullah, the one who raised and taught me the meanings of growing up from a child to a daughter to being a mother to my children. Muga Bonda tenang disana. AL fatihah. Another one, Hjh Zaiton Idris, my MiL, for accepting me to be part of her family and continue become wonderful grandmother to my children. May Allah keep showering you with good health, longevity and wellness.

Touch Base ~ Life is...

2013-04-05T12:08:00.002+08:00

I can t remember the last time I wrote. definitely quite some time ago. Work never ends. Juggling home and office requires more than just time and energy. Life is giving us things ranging from pleasant to the unpleasant. But all in all, thankful, we managed to get through it Alhamdullillah. for all the things that painted colors on our canvas of life. At the end it is going back to what makes our life meaningful. How our existence really has been in full use as we utilize all what we have to strive for a better day each day making us a better person in the eyes of our Creator.

Life is ...
Our questions unanswered. How pleasing others can never really happen in a real world. Accepting truth can be painful. What is good to us may not be best for others. Things we thought we do good may be viewed negative by some. How negativity affects our ways of looking at things. How we can get carried away sometime with we do.

Life is just another day passed by. Another hopes and wishes created. Another meaningful life created just the way we see as we learned every single things happened in our life marked something significant to ourself as a whole.
The best part is, we have the autonomy to define.. What
Life is...To us

Alfatihah for mom & dad. Muga tenang disana.
We miss you Ayah! Our 7 years of Loss

Reflect on the soothing sounds of this meaningful song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cveDg2eu6Zg

Tanzil - Quran Navigator

2013-03-27T06:10:00.001+08:00

Tanzil - Quran Navigator

Resources | National Child Traumatic Stress Network - Child Trauma Home

2013-03-05T01:24:00.001+08:00

Resources | National Child Traumatic Stress Network - Child Trauma Home

First day of school for the kids - the feeling is the same!

2013-01-02T01:53:00.001+08:00

The excitement of first day of school still the same. 18 years ago, I could still remember the day I sent my first daughter to school for the first time.. That automatically reminded me of my own first day at school. Today, Aliya will not be joining the morning rush. The preparation became less hectic. Perhaps, we probably have gotten the skills OR perhaps, we are not as worried, as fussy, as 'kisah', as we used to when we first experienced it long time ago. Tomorrow, Alif will be in Year 6 and Aina in Form 3. Both will be in the exam year, UPSR & PMR respectively. 8 months from now, my knees will be shaking again. I had to say, I handled things pretty well when Aliya was sitting for her SPM last nov-Dec 2012. I was not as panicky.. Could be worst. But she needs mom to be cool this time. Despite her cool look, I could not take things for granted as she cant be stressed out at that very moment. For tomorrow, everything is ready from the undergarment to the socks & shoes already lined up to be worn. no more queuing up to pay for the fees. The kids will manage all the fees if any.

Time to shop around for Aula new school. Then Alif needs to be back with JAIS SRA for his PSRA as the private seemed unable to meet my expectation. All the transfer will be done next thursday. I am going to work after dropping them off at school. May Allah bless us in the new schooling year for my kids.

Aliya is off for PLKN (National Service)

2013-01-01T11:40:00.000+08:00

It is the first day of the year 2013. The day after tomorrow, Aliya is leaving for PLKN. Yeah right.. the chosen one. I am a selfish mom who wants to keep her daughter at home after SPM. Good thing that she is away only for 3 months. I m listing things for an 18-year old girl to bring along. Ehm.. from a soon-to-be 45-year-old lady.

tooth brush, tooth paste, bath gel, syampoo, face cleanser, moisturizer, deodorant, sunblock, lip balm,petroleum jelly, lotion, sanitizer,
hair brush, hairband
detergent, softlan, dettol,
tissue, wet tissue,
sanitary pad night & day & panty liners
night socks, pyjamas
sweater, socks,
sports shoes, casual shoes, sandal & selipar getah
track suits 2, pants 2
small towel & face towels
small pillow
panties & bras
Kain batek 2 pasang
Telekung & sajadah
tupperware (water bottle)
Baju kurung 2
t shirt 4 helai
tiger balm, yoko yoko, ventolin inhaler, panadols, exede,
Milk(nestle), cookies & crackers, cereals, 3 in 1 Milo (4 sachets)

2012-11-07-photos-fall-leaves: Photos: Weekly Features: Inside IU: Indiana University

2012-11-23T16:32:00.001+08:00

2012-11-07-photos-fall-leaves: Photos: Weekly Features: Inside IU: Indiana University

childhood memories

2012-11-09T23:25:00.001+08:00