The key takeaway here is that although some people may have acquired a propensity toward mental toughness genetically, each component can be learned and you can learn to adapt each principle to both your insurance career and to your life.

Would you like to:

• Thrive in the face of the daily challenges you face in your advising career?

• Bounce back quickly when dealing with difficult situations or clients?

• Get excited about prospecting for new clients, excited about making cold calls, etc.?

Each of these situations can be accomplished as you develop your own mental toughness.

The 7 Critical C’s of Mental Toughness

In my working with both athletes and insurance producers, I have found that there are 7 key elements that differentiate mentally tough athletes and advisors from those who struggle with the challenges they face. Each of these elements can be learned and through practice, can be put to use whenever you need the toughness to overcome any adversity or challenge in your work or life.

1. Maintaining a Commitment to accomplishing a task or goal through to completion, despite the obstacles that you may face.

2. Viewing Challenges as opportunities, rather than as obstacles.

3. Believing that you are in Control of your life and destiny, rather than “outside” circumstances, beyond your control.

4. Maintaining Confidence in your ability to succeed, despite all of the challenges you face.

5. Remaining Calm in the face of stressors.

6. Remaining Consistent, in your quest to grind through adversity and succeed.

7. Being able to Concentrate and focus on the task at hand, rather than getting derailed by unexpected circumstances.

Tips for Developing the 7 C’s of Mental Toughness

Overcome the “Imposter Fear”

To be a mentally tough insurance producer, you must truly believe that you can succeed in your career. Regardless of the status of your career at this moment, you must maintain an unshakable belief that with effort and consistency, you will succeed.

Some producers subconsciously do not believe that they will succeed and it’s only a matter of time before they fail in their career. In short, they feel like imposters, faking confidence and fearing ultimate failure. I have provided a “cure” for this “Imposter Fear” in my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.” You can order your copy of this valuable guide by using this link, The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide, or by contacting me directly at (949) 481-5660.

Focus on the Process of Being a Successful Producer, rather than on the External Rewards

Mentally tough producers are not focused on how much money they make, but rather on the quality of help they are providing to their clients and their families. When you focus on the “Process” of being the best advisor you can be to your clients, the financial rewards will be there. The internal reward is the satisfaction that you are making a real difference in the lives and security of your clients. Like athletes, when you focus on the specific details that contribute to your success as a financial advisor, the outcomes, such as winning and making a great living, follow.

Bounce Back Quickly from Setbacks

To be a mentally tough advisor, you must look at the inevitable challenges (such as competition, compliance and fiduciary changes, toxic clients, etc.) as temporary challenges and rather than getting discouraged, find new ways to think and behave optimistically, as a result of these challenges. Believe that while you cannot avoid setbacks, you can deal with any setback, quickly.

Set Realistic Goals and Grind Through Until You Reach Them

Mentally tough producers set realistic goals for themselves. Research shows that writing these goals down makes one 11 times more likely to achieve them than just thinking about his/her goals.

When writing down your goals, be sure to write down how you will feel once you accomplish them and especially important is writing the answer to this question: “What is the quickest way I can sabotage myself from accomplishing this goal?” Answer that question and you are on your way to overcoming the self-defeating habits that prevented you from accomplishing your goals in the past.

Be Aware of the Most Powerful Distraction That Will Erode at Your Toughness

I have written extensively in my blogs and book about the number one distraction that sabotages mental toughness, and that is negative self-talk. Mentally tough people recognize when they fall into that trap, eliminate it quickly and replace it with healthy, optimistic self-talk.

Don’t Expect Perfection

Most financial professionals encompass many of the characteristics of the “Type A” personality. Among those traits is the desire for perfection, considering anything less to be a failure. Again, I have written extensively about how to overcome this in my book. Recognize that doing your best is all you can do at any moment. When you face adversity, understand that by grinding through and doing your best, you are building your mental toughness. With consistent effort comes the sense of mastery that builds mental toughness. Being perfect under all circumstances is not only impossible but struggling to do such will actually subtract from your performance.

Maintain a Strong Support System

World-class athletes rarely reach their successes on their own. They put themselves in touch with coaches, mentors, and peers who stimulate their mental toughness and encourage their professional development. Successful insurance producers can point to mentors they have embraced throughout their careers. Reaching out to those you trust and respect is a positive, not a sign of weakness!

Remember that all of the components of mental toughness can be learned and with consistent practice, you can certainly raise your game to world-class level. Go For It!

About the Author: Dr. Jack Singer is a Professional Clinical/Sports Psychologist, speaker consultant and “Success Acceleration” Mentor for financial advisors and insurance producers, He teaches financial services professionals the exact same skills he has been teaching to world champion athletes for the past 33 years.

Dr. Jack is the author of “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.” You can order your copy of this valuable guide by using this link The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.

To get every day started in the right direction, regardless of your challenges, here is a link for a free download of Dr. Jack’s 5 Step Mental Toughness Routine that is used by professional, World and Olympic champions: Dr. Jack’s 5 Step Mental Toughness Routine.

The post How to Become a Mentally Tough and Highly Successful Insurance Producer appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

“Burnout” has been defined as “a state of mental or physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.”

Job burnout is an insidious problem in the American workforce, among all levels of employees.  Frequently undiagnosed, burnout may appear in job statistics of absenteeism statistics, in suicide rates, or in the development of chronic illnesses that keep employees from working.  Ultimately, working oneself to death can be the disguise for job burnout.

Job Conditions That Lead to Burnout

The following conditions have been found to lead to burnout.  Obviously, the more of these that a person has to deal with, the more the likelihood of burnout occurring:

• Heavy workload
• Long work hours and difficult deadlines
• Little participation in decision-making
• Poor communications within the organization
• Conflicting or uncertain expectations from supervisors
• Job insecurity
• Lack of recognition
• Poor advancement opportunities
• Minimal support from supervisors or co-workers
• Unpleasant or dangerous working environments or conditions

Three Stages of Job Burnout

Now, all of the person’s defenses are worn to a frazzle.  She/he may be overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness and/or helplessness.  A lack of motivation, fatigue, cynicism and even suicidal thoughts may be present, along with major physiological symptoms.  Frequent trips to medical specialists who run many tests and find nothing are common occurrences .

Preventing Job Burnout

Of course, being examined my a mental health professional is a wonderful preventive technique.  But what steps can the employee take in order to avoid the symptoms of job burnout?

• Feel comfortable delegating responsibility at work
• Find outlets for frustration, like a brisk walk at noon, reading, listening to music, etc.
• Become assertive and be able to say “no” to excessive demands on your time
• Feel good about your accomplishments even if you don’t get recognized by supervisors
• Avoid excessive alcohol, prescription drugs, nicotine and caffeine
• Look everywhere for humor
• Remain optimistic in the face of frustration
• Learn to organize your time
• Take frequent breaks
• Practice good nutrition
• Get plenty of sleep
• Have a friend, spouse or colleague who is a good listener

**You have permission to reprint in your publication or to your website/blog any articles by Dr.Jack Singer found on this Website as long as Dr. Jack Singer’s name and contact information is included. Jack Singer, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Pyschologist, Sport Psychologist, Marriage, Family & Relationship Therapist, Professional Motivational Speaker. http://dr.jacksinger.com, toll free 800-497-9880.

The post Job Burnout Prevention appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

There are plenty of episodes of athletes out of control . . . Serena Williams has a complete meltdown in front of thousands of her fans at the U.S. Open. Oregon football player LaGarette Blount punches a Boise State player after a frustrating game and then losing his cool with a fan. A 2004 melee between the Detroit Pistons and Indian Pacers, where fans were also involved. And a few seasons ago, a brawl between most of the football players from the University of Miami and FIU.

Often athletes who engage in out-of-control behaviors rationalize that everyone in the situation would react that way. Obviously, there is plenty of evidence to the contrary, where athletes are provoked continuously and most do not melt down. Another rationalization is that in hockey, for example, fighting is often encouraged by coaches and is condoned as a motivational technique. Research was conducted over the course of one hockey season, in which the numbers of fighting penalties among NHL teams were matched up with their league standings. The results showed a strong NEGATIVE relationship between the number of fighting penalties and the teams’ standings!

Typical justifications for fighting take the form of “I need to stand up for our teammates, or I’ll look soft,” “You can’t embarrass us in our house,” and “You need to respect me as a man/woman.” The sad fact is that emotional meltdowns always trump intelligence.

So, given that there are hundreds of provocations made to elite athletics each season, why do some athletes melt down, while others don’t? The answer lies in team leadership, from the manager/coach to the team captains and whether anger proneness is recognized early on and treated in a proactive manner or ignored. And for individual melt downs, the answer lies in an athlete understanding the triggers to their own anger.

Anger mastery programs help. Once such program is my athletes Anti-Provocation Training (APTitude)Program.

This program is based on the athlete learning the exact triggers which provoke his/her anger and temporary loss of control. For example, in Serena’s case, I’m sure that her embarrassment while her match was in jeopardy (to huge underdog Kim Clijsters) set her up for losing control of her emotions and the unusual and rare foot fault penalty put her over the top.

Once the athlete recognizes his/her trigger points, alternative thought patterns are taught and rehearsed, so that the “bang-bang” reaction is interrupted by a more rational thought and plan of action.

My program involves a ten-step strategy, where the end result is calmer heads prevailing, separation skills, active listening skills and an immediate cooling down.

For more information on Dr. Jack Singer’s Anti-Provocation Training (APTitude) Programs please call toll free at 1-800-497-9880.

**You have permission to reprint in your publication or to your website/blog any articles by Dr.Jack Singer found on this Website as long as Dr. Jack Singer’s name and contact information is included. Jack Singer, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Pyschologist, Sport Psychologist, Marriage, Family & Relationship Therapist, Professional Motivational Speaker. http://drjacksinger.com, toll free 800-497-9880.

The post Losing Your Cool During Competition: Just Part of the Game or Unresolved Anger Management Issues? appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

Amazingly, 50% of American workers would not choose same career if they had a chance to start over. On an average work day, more than a million employees are absent because of stress-related problems. The American Medical Association estimates that at least 75% of visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related problems.

These astounding statistics are not only found in the U.S. Stress related problems are the most common causes of sickness absenteeism all over the world. In one study it was found that 13 million work days are lost every year in UK due to stress and related problems.

Causes of Stress in the Workplace

The most frequently cited causes of workplace stress are:

Unreasonable demands for performance

Poor  interpersonal communication between the employer and the employees

Balancing working hours and family time

Under-utilization of skills

Management styles

Job insecurity issues

Stress Management Worksite Programs

Most programs incorporated by companies concentrate on dealing with stress symptoms of employees.  Corporate wellness programs and employee assistance programs (EAP’s) are geared toward teaching employees how to understand the warning signs of stress and how to deal with stress.  Individuals can obtain psychological help and treatment via EAP’s.

But the most beneficial stress management programs are preventive, rather than reactive.  Teambuilding exercises, communications skills workshops, bringing fun to the busy workplace training, trust building and problem solving workshops are examples of proactive programs that eliminate the sources of stress in the workplace.

Preventive stress management has dramatic effects on the bottom line of any corporation.  Health insurance costs, worker compensation claims, absenteeism, poor work quality and substance abuse are just some of the costs that the proactive corporation can reduce significantly.

**You have permission to reprint in your publication or to your website/blog any articles by Dr.Jack Singer found on this Website as long as Dr. Jack Singer’s name and contact information is included. Jack Singer, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Pyschologist, Sport Psychologist, Marriage, Family & Relationship Therapist, Professional Motivational Speaker. 800-497-9880.

The post Stress Management Tips: Managing Stress in the Workplace appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

The media these days has a field day with self-promoters they label as narcissists, so some of the fear of self-promotion could be based on how advisors believe they will be perceived by colleagues, clients, and potential clients.

Let’s be clear about this: Concentrating on self-promotion for to feel good about yourself or to promote your business is not the definition of narcissism. In these days of social media, where people put their whole lives on Facebook, for example, it’s sometimes hard to differentiate between shameless, narcissistic promotion and a healthy marketing strategy.

Fear of Others’ Negative Opinions

One of the worst words created in the English language is “modesty,” because so many of you avoid self-promotion and feeling good about yourself, believing you will be judged by others as a bragger and self-centered.

This fear of being judged negatively by others is part of what I refer to as the “People Pleasing” personality syndrome. These habits lead to avoiding confrontations at all costs, getting easily intimidated by others and sacrificing your own needs for fear of disappointing other people.

Financial professionals who suffer from these traits rarely perform up to their capacity, have reservations about emphasizing their skills and talents when marketing themselves, and often have difficulties asking for referrals, unconsciously believing that they are undeserving.

Fear of Being an Imposter

A heavily researched psychological syndrome is the “Imposter Syndrome.” Essentially, this involves a deep-seated belief that no matter what you accomplish, it will never be good enough and it’s only a matter of time before others will discover that you are a fraud. Obviously, this fear and its consequences erode at self-esteem and self-confidence.

With an athlete, for example, he truly believes that his excited coaches are actually wrong about his talent and abilities, and they will find out sooner or later, so the athlete braces himself for ultimately losing.

With financial professionals, it can manifest itself with such beliefs as “I will never be knowledgeable enough to be at the top of my game, my clients will realize this and eventually some of my clients will “fire” me because of incompetence.”

The “Imposter Fear” can manifest itself in you downplaying your abilities and achievements, being overly modest, holding back on marketing your practice, and being hypersensitive to any criticism, seeing that as proof of your underlying incompetence.

Certainly, having this fear will lead you to avoid self-promotion, because in your “heart of hearts” you don’t believe many of the good things you must say about yourself in order to gain the confidence of clients, etc.

Fear of Failure or Success

Many financial professionals walk a shaky balance between being afraid of promoting themselves for fear of failing and being judged negatively as a result, and fearing success because they don’t believe it will last or that they even deserve success. You can imagine how this conflict can render you frozen and unable to decide how to act in a variety of situations.

Pessimistic Explanatory Style

I have written extensively about this unfortunate syndrome and how to overcome it in my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.” In essence, people who view their success as a “fluke” or luck, brace themselves for what they consider to be inevitable failures down the road.

When setbacks do occur, they tell themselves that “it figures, because bad things always happen to me.”

You can imagine how people with this problem would also fear self-promotion. “Why market or promote myself when I really don’t think good things will happen to me or my business?” or ”Marketing has never worked for me in the past, so why waste my time and money on it now?”

Overcoming the Fear of Self-Promotion

Like all fears, being uncomfortable with self-promotion responds very well to using cognitive-behavioral strategies for overcoming this fear and several are contained in my book.

Using a “Mental Toughness” routine for dealing with fears and lack of confidence is one of the strategies I explain. A key to this strategy is first identifying the triggering, negative self-talk patterns that cause the fear of self-promotion, then eliminating those thoughts, and finally, replacing them with optimistic, healthy, more realistic self-talk. One way to do this is by using “Positive Affirmations.”

Positive Affirmations for Financial Professionals

“Positive Affirmations” are powerful, optimistic statements that you verbalize and repeat to yourself frequently and consistently. Research shows that you can eradicate fears in an average of 21 days, by consistently giving yourself healthy affirmations. Your subconscious mind absorbs these affirmations and pushes away the negative, self-defeating self-talk that had caused the fears in the first place.

Here are some examples:

• “I have studied hard to develop a skill set that is very valuable for helping my current and prospective clients to make rational insurance and investment decisions”
• “I don’t need to be perfect in order to be a very effective financial consultant for my clients. I don’t have to know the answer to every question asked of me. If I don’t have the answer to a question, I know exactly how to find it.”
• “I am talented, intelligent and perfectly capable of providing outstanding services to all clients.”
• “ I am a committed producer/advisor and I always have my clients’ specific needs and goals at the top of my priorities. I dig deep with each client, making sure that I understand their needs and provide them with the best products and services available.”
• “I feel great about putting my best foot forward, describing my unique capabilities in all of my marketing and self-promotional activities.”

Use your creativity to come up with some unique affirmations that pertain precisely to you. Remember, modesty does not count!

The post The Advisor’s Guide to Overcoming the Fear of Self-Promotion appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

The term “selling” carries with it so much negativity.  Let’s change the term to one that means the same but has fewer negative connotations…persuasion.  Many books on consumer and sales psychology have been written, and they all explain how you can use the power of persuasion to your benefit. The goal of persuasion is to convince the prospect or client to buy into the persuasive argument and adopt this new attitude as a core value.  Let’s explore some proven techniques.

Power of Persuasion: 8 Key Pillars

1. Build Rapport Before Attempting to Persuade

Insurance producers, wholesalers, and financial advisors all should understand that first impressions mean everything.  Therefore, how you come across initially to a client or prospective client sets the tone.

Do NOT immediately jump into talking about business!  See #2 below for suggested starting points in your conversation to set a great first impression.

2. The First Seven Seconds is Crucial

Much research in the science of persuasion shows that your rapport will be decided within the first seven seconds of meeting someone or addressing him on the phone.  Find something personal to talk about in order to develop rapport.  Ask questions about where he lives, his family, favorite sports, etc.

If the meeting is in person, make sure you maintain eye contact and smile as much as you can, even if it doesn’t come naturally and you have to force yourself to do so.

3. Create a Need

Whether you’re trying to prospect for a new client or provide a service to an existing client, the first step is discovering and identifying your prospect’s “pain.”  It is trite, but people want to buy a solution to their pain or to satisfy a need.

There are key questions you can ask to determine where the pain is.  For example, “Where would you like your wealth to be five years from now?”  “What’s keeping you from achieving it?” and “What kinds of things keep you up at night?”

4. Use “Active, Empathic Listening” in Communicating with Prospects and Clients

Once you hear about their pain, you can talk to them like a friend to clarify. You are still not pitching this person, but just trying to understand.  The best technique for this is “Active, Empathic Listening.” You can easily learn this powerful technique. It will help you to persuade prospects because you are taking a genuine interest in their “pain,” by carefully listening to their concerns.

I have written about this process extensively in my book, The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.

5. Appeal to Their Need Not to Be Left Behind

People like to jump on the bandwagon to gain the same advantages of other successful people. Once you do make your case with a solution to their problem or pain, point out other influential clients (not necessarily by name) who followed your advice and are very happy they did.  Of course, testimonials from folks willing to provide their names are powerfully persuasive.

6. Get Your Foot in the Door

Give something away for free.  For example, you might offer a prospective client a free subscription to your client blog that goes out weekly, providing investment advice and success stories about the transactions you have recently made for client portfolios and your recommendations going forward.  Getting the prospect to agree to give you his email address begins the persuasion process.

7. Utilize the Power of Reciprocity

When people do you a favor, you usually feel an obligation to return the favor somehow.  This is the power of reciprocity.  So by offering prospects something for free, many prospects will feel a psychological obligation to do business with you.

8. Limit Your Availability

Psychologically, one of the key principles of persuasion is scarcity.  Things or services seem much more appealing when there is a limited time or when “the sale is ending soon.”  You can structure this with a prospect by telling him/her that you only have room in your practice for a limited number of new clients and you’ll be closing out your book of business for new clients at the end of the month, for example.

Once you master the power of persuasion through these eight proven pillars, you will see your success ratio with prospects and existing clients catapult!

The post How to Utilize the Power of Persuasion to Boost Your Financial Services Career appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

Emotional resilience involves the ability to withstand and rapidly rebound from psychological stress.

If you admire your colleagues who seem to let stressors bounce off, as if they are protected by a layer of Teflon, don’t fret. They are not resilient because their DNA is different than yours. What humans have in common is that we are all hard-wired to be vigilant about life-threatening stressors. But, how you react to everyday potential stressors, such as those inherent in your career, is all under your control. In other words, once you understand the self-defeating habits you have employed, you can change them, and you can learn how to become resilient!

Indeed, advances in brain and behavioral sciences have proven that these skills can be learned! It just takes an understanding of the causes of your stress and practicing a new way of interpreting and reacting to those stressors.

This article addresses the second group of ten habits of emotionally resilient advisors. As with the first group, you don’t need to employ every one of these habits to become more resilient. Employing a few key habits will do the trick.

Ten More Habits of Emotionally Resilient Advisors

11. They Employ “Active, Empathic Listening” when Communicating With Their Clients and Colleagues

Advisors avoid many potentially stressful moments with their clients by employing methods of non-judgmental listening. This is a very powerful skill that can be learned and practiced. It involves putting yourself in the position of the client, empathizing with his/her point (without necessarily agreeing with it) and understanding where the client “is coming from.” Once that is established, the client calms her/himself, and a healthy, productive conversation can take place.

This technique is also a powerful method of engaging with prospective clients. (This is discussed in detail in my book).

12. They Speak Assertively

I have mentored many advisors who have developed the unfortunate habit of avoiding perceived confrontations at all costs. Consequently, they passively accept criticism and go along with “demands” of difficult clients. This behavioral pattern is referred to as “The Disease to Please.” Learning how to assert yourself (this does not mean being aggressive) is a crucial skill that everyone needs to learn in order to master stress. For more information, see “Don’t Say Yes When You Want to Say No,” by Fensterheim & Baer.

13. They Recognize That Perfection is Not the Goal

Many financial professionals have “Type A” personality traits. Among those traits is the desire to have perfect results in whatever they do. As you can imagine, this is an exercise in frustration, because perfection is not attainable in most situations. The problem is that for many of these folks, they view anything other than perfection as a failure. Perhaps this irrational conclusion was instilled by coaches or parents, but it can certainly be modified. Once you accept goals of doing the best you can, having a superb work ethic, keeping your clients best interests in the forefront, etc., you can let go of that silly need to be perfect. (See my book)

14. They Improve the Quality of Their Sleep

Sleep deprivation is often caused by uncontrolled processing and obsessing about anxiety-provoking events of the day or anticipated events about tomorrow. When you worry, the brain doesn’t know if the worry is about something life-threatening, so to be safe, it switches on the “fight or flight” system to deal with the “threat.” Part of that system is extreme vigilance, so any sleepiness disappears. In addition, adrenaline enters the bloodstream to deal with the stress, and adrenaline keeps one alert, again, the opposite of sleepiness.

The answer is to learn how to reframe thoughts that keep us awake, recognize that nothing will be gained by rehashing situations at bedtime and learning how to let go of the fears connected with those thoughts. Good sleep hygiene and sleep meditation techniques aid tremendously in improving the quality of sleep.

15. They Engage in Energizing Habits

This one you are all familiar with. Walk, run, swim, bike, dance, go the gym, etc. Physical exercise releases endorphins that dramatically reduce both acute and chronic stress. Make sure that physical exercise, several times a week, is part of your ritual.

16. They Nurture Themselves

Making sure that you build into your daily and weekly routines activities that relax you is critical for building resilience. Watching and attending sporting events, funny shows on tv, going shopping, going to movies, comedy clubs, you name it. Don’t cheat yourself by feeling guilty and deciding that you “can’t afford the time.” Your brain needs to be nurtured, just like your body does. It gets nurtured by sleep, exercise and distracting yourself from your daily stressors.

17. They Maintain a Strong Social Support Network

Much research in life extension shows that people who live longer and healthier have a strong network of social support. If you are single, a widow/widower, or a loner, it is imperative that you reach out to local clubs, churches, etc., in order to join groups of folks with similar interests to yours. Friends and family you can count on is a major factor in building resilience to stress.

18. They Recognize What They are Grateful for Each Day

Many of us focus so much on our problems, that we lose track of the people and events in our lives for which we are grateful. Keep a notebook on your nightstand. Just before retiring, focus on what happened during the day for which you are grateful. Write as many of these that you think of in your journal. This not only helps you to put your worries into perspective but also distracts you from the worrying that goes on at bedtime, keeping you from having quality sleep.

19. They Believe in Themselves, Despite Their Challenges

We all face threats to our self-esteem and self-confidence. You have two choices: a) allow mistakes and “failures” to dominate your thinking, or b) recognize that these are temporary and not reflective of the wonderful traits that make you the person you are. Confidence and self-esteem are maintained by quickly bouncing back from unfortunate events and situations, remembering the traits that make you the person you are, and keeping your eyes focused squarely on the successes you expect to have in the future.

20. They Maintain a Sense of Purpose and Meaning in Their Lives

Have you ever wondered how anyone could survive the overwhelming horrors of the Holocaust? One survivor, Viktor Frankel, a trained psychiatrist, wrote about how he trained his mind to survive, in his classic book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” The essence of his thesis is that if you focus on the meaning and purpose in your life, regardless of the stresses and strains you suffer on the way, you will be healthier, physically and emotionally.

Think about why you entered the financial services profession. Remember how many families you have provided such a wonderful service for, taking away their fears of outliving their resources, for example. Think about your core values in helping clients. All of this makes up your sense of purpose and meaning in life.  Will there be disappointments and frustrations? Certainly. But overall, will you have touched the lives of many families in a very positive way during your career? Absolutely!

Once you retire, find hobbies, sports, volunteer, etc., in order to find a new sense of purpose, and continually reflect on how many people you truly helped during your career.

For more specific details on how to employ new thinking patterns to deal with them, please refer to my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.” You can order your copy of this valuable guide here.

The post Mastering Twenty Key Habits of Emotionally Resilient Advisors: Part Two appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

What humans have in common is that we are all hard-wired to be vigilant about life-threatening stressors. But, how we react to everyday potential stressors, such as those inherent in your career, is all under your control.

These are habits, and all habits can be changed. You just have to practice new responses to potential stressors.

Emotional resilience involves the ability to withstand and rapidly rebound from psychological stress. Indeed, advances in brain and behavioral sciences have proven that these skills can be learned.

The First Ten Habits of Emotionally Resilient Advisors

1. They Confront, Rather Than Avoid Fears

Fear of failure, worries about the DOL rulings, concerns about dealing with toxic clients…these are quite common with advisors/producers. Like almost all fears, these are learned, not hard-wired into your DNA, so they can all be un-learned. Facing your fears head-on, rather than denying or avoiding them, changes your brain chemistry, and the fear evaporates very quickly.

2. They Use Self-Discipline to Avoid Unhealthy Cravings and Habits

Many people under stress engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as smoking, drinking, or substance abuse. This leads to unhealthy cravings and magnifies the stress. Using self-discipline can overcome these cravings and this works best when you begin right away, rather than after the craving is well-established. Recognize when you are rationalizing or kidding yourself when you allow the craving or habit to continue. The most common rationalization is “I’ll start this on Monday.”

3. They Respond Quickly to Prevent Emotional Uproar

When stress is allowed to magnify, the brain releases cortisol and adrenaline, both of which lead to stress-related disorders. Using calming exercises, such as deep muscle relaxation, meditation, and self-hypnosis can turn off the stress reaction, preventing it from getting out of control. You can google these calming techniques and quickly learn how to use them.

4. They Quickly Reframe Anxiety

Anxiety is not caused by the situation in which you find yourself. For example, it is not caused by the DOL ruling. Rather, it is caused by the inner dialogue (your self-talk) about the situation. If you decide that this ruling will put you out of business, your anxiety will spike. You can quickly learn to recognize anxiety producing self-talk, such as “what if” thinking and change it to healthy thoughts, such as “am I examining all possibilities, here?” and “I have overcome adversity before, and I can do it again!”

5. They Overcome Anxiety

This sounds much easier said than done, but it can be done with a bit of consistency. If you journal your worries, share them with a confidant, and stop obsessing about situations over which you have no control, you will be on your way to resilience (see my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” for 77 easy-to-learn methods of overcoming anxiety. You can order your copy of this valuable guide by clicking the link above or by contacting Dr. Jack directly at (949) 481-5660).

6. They Overcome Anger

To resist emotionally debilitating anger, first recognize the health risks of hanging onto anger (such as, hypertension, heart attack risk, stroke, and a whole host of illnesses that can be exacerbated by anger). This is the first step in letting go of anger. Research shows major health benefits of letting go of anger and forgiving others who stimulate it.

7. They Overcome Sadness

To resist emotionally debilitating depression, it’s important to recognize that your problems are temporary and you will get through them. It is also important to recognize that your problems do not indicate anything pervasive about you, such as the thought that because of this problem or issue, you are a chronic loser in many aspects of your life or career.

8. They Remain Optimistic, Despite the Challenges and Adversity They Face

Much recent research in both the behavioral sciences and in neuroscience shows that people who maintain positive expectations of outcomes, regardless of the present situation, overcome adversity and challenges very quickly and this also translates positively to their immune systems, thus preventing illnesses and diseases.

9. They Look for Opportunities to Laugh and Have Fun

One of the easiest ways to buffer yourself from stress is to make sure that you find every opportunity to laugh and have fun. Laughing releases powerful endorphins from the brain, that dramatically reduce stress. Watching funny movies and sitcoms, going to comedy shows, and reading funny magazines and books can help tremendously. Surround yourself with people who like to joke and have fun. It’s contagious.

10. They Have Compassion for Themselves

Have you found yourself offering compassionate advice to a good friend or relative after they make a mistake, for example, but you do not give yourself the same compassion? You can’t be perfect. No one is. Mistakes and errors in judgment happen. Forgive yourself and move on. This “Golden Rule” is “treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend or relative, stuck in the same situation.”

In my next blog, I will share the second list of ten habits of emotionally resilient people.

The post Mastering Twenty Key Habits of Emotionally Resilient Advisors: Part One appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

1. Your Personality Dynamics Can Make You More Prone to Stress
2. Even Small Amounts of Chronic Stress Can Affect Your Health in a Negative Way
3. You Do Not Need to Eliminate All Stress to be Happy and Healthy
4. Understanding the Triggers to Your Stress is the First Step in Keeping You From Falling Prey to Stress Reactions
5. You Can Stop Your Stress Reactions at Warp Speed!

Being aware of these facts can help you to make rational plans to pro-actively prevent or mitigate the effects of stress on you and your advising career.

Here are 5 additional facts that may surprise you about stress.

6. Your Thoughts Alone Can Bring on a Variety of Illnesses and Symptoms

Many years ago the American Medical Association (AMA) was interested in surveying its members (particularly internal medicine and primary care practitioners) about the percentage of patients they estimated appeared at their practices without a medical illness. That’s correct…without a medical illness.

Certainly, everyone who shows up at their doctor’s office has symptoms they are concerned about or from which they want to get relief. But, it may surprise you to know, a very large percentage of these people do not have a disease. Instead, they have symptoms caused by stress and, as I explained in Part 1., the stress is caused by the patient’s thinking patterns in response to situations they worry or are upset about.

The AMA survey showed that most of the doctors responding estimated that as many as 75% of their patients had symptoms which were related to their stress, not to a disease. Perhaps you’ve heard about “psychosomatic illnesses.” These are the conditions caused at least in part by stress, so you can ultimately determine whether you get those conditions or not.

7. Stress Can Age You Prematurely in Many Ways

I conduct “Mental Wealth” workshops for financial advisor client appreciation events and the title of these workshops is “How to Live Much Longer Than Your Kids Hoped You Would.” I titled these workshops to get a laugh, but living longer and healthier is serious business, and it’s all about learning how you can control your stress.

Unabated, stress speeds up wear and tear on many areas of your body. A few years ago, the American Psychological Association produced a report of research findings pointing to the fact that stress may have more to do with longevity than a person’s actual chronological age. In particular, chronic stress can impact cognitive impairment in aging, and this impairment can be reversed by reducing stress. So, again, the degree to which you age, in a large part, is up to you and what you do about preventing and eliminating the stressors in your life!

8. YOU Can Prevent a Significant Amount of Stress From Occurring in Your Life

In addition to understanding how your interpretation of events and your thoughts related to them determines how much stress will result, you can actually buffer yourself from stress. We all know that a healthy diet and regular exercise go a long way toward building resilience. Research now shows that having a strong support system of family and at least a few close friends also can buffer you from stress.

Random acts of kindness, such as paying for a meal for a homeless person, also buffers us from the ravages of stress. Having faith in a higher power, prayer, thanking a mentor from the past, and maintaining a journal of what you are grateful for each day are other examples of research-based ways in which you can build a psychological layer of protection.

9. Some “Stress Relief” Habits Actually Cause More Stress

Many unfortunate habits that we tend to develop to try to cope with stress actually exacerbate it. Smoking, drinking, using marijuana and other drugs to dull the impact of stress never solve the problem; these coping mechanisms only make us oblivious to the sources of our stress. Moreover, the addictions we develop as a result take over, causing much more stress, in terms of our relationships, etc. So quick fixes by “medicating” oneself with cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana and the like not only avoid the causes and add an additional layer of impairment.

10. Visualize Your Stress Leaving You and It Could Very Well Work

I have been teaching elite athletes how to visualize success in their chosen sports for more than 33 years. Practicing visualization has been proven to condition your brain to help you to actually make that skill or outcome much more likely.

I have been truly amazed at how powerful the science of Hypnosis is, and I used hypnosis to not only help people to accomplish what they thought was impossible but to also eradicate stress. Hypnosis employs visualization. Someone once said, “If you can conceive it, you can believe it, and if you can believe it, you can achieve it.” All of this involves visualizing something happening that will help you and your body.

Other examples of visualization techniques are guided imagery, meditation, yoga, and mindfulness exercises. As in hypnosis, these techniques involve focusing your concentration, blocking out stress, and visualizing happiness and peacefulness.

The key takeaway from this series is that YOU actually have the power to mitigate the stress in your life. In my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide” I describe more than 75 proven techniques for building resilience to stress. Pick a handful of these techniques, begin to use them, and watch for wonderful results. The choice is yours.

The post 10 Remarkable Stress Facts that Every Advisor Should Know: Part 2 appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.

There is so much information out there about the effects of stress that it can be stressful and overwhelming just trying to absorb it all!  So, here are the first 5 of 10 research-based facts that I will provide for you to help you to understand stress and how to find effective stress mastery techniques to incorporate into your career and your life right now.  For more details about each of these facts, you can read about them in my book, “The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.”

1. Your Personality Dynamics Can Make You More Prone to Stress

Pessimists, perfectionists, people pleasers, and “Type A” personalities greatly increase their stress levels because of their stress-prone thinking patterns.  The good news is that no matter how you are wired, thinking habits are all changeable! The techniques can be found in my book, Chapter 4.

2. Even Small Amounts of Chronic Stress Can Affect Your Health in a Negative Way

The impact of chronic stress on our bodies has been widely researched for more than 50 years, and the results have been remarkably consistent.  If you suffer from job stress and do not alter the ways in which you react to the triggers, you may be prone to not only emotional reactions, such as depression, anxiety, and burnout but to physiological effects.

For example, in a study cited in the British Medical Journal, chronic stress has been shown to be directly related to heart disease, Type 2 diabetes,  and metabolic syndrome (including high blood pressure, insulin resistance, and obesity).

Other studies have linked chronic stress with the common cold, the flu, and a whole host of medical symptoms.

Are you wondering if you are suffering from job stress?

Examples of key work-related triggers are elevated anxiety at work, low autonomy on the job, effort-reward imbalance, feeling a lack of control over your job, work-home imbalance, difficulty with supervisors and/or quotas, and high job insecurity.

Again, it is NOT these situations that cause chronic stress, but it is your reaction to these situations (your self-talk and resultant attitudes) that causes the stress.  Ultimately, YOU CONTROL your thoughts, so you can stop the stress.

3. You Do Not Need to Eliminate All Stress to be Happy and Healthy

Athletes about to enter a contest, people about to make a speech or perform, and card players engaged in competition for money, for example, all understand that having a certain amount of stress is necessary and beneficial for peak performance. If you are too relaxed, you will not perform your best.

Hans Seyle, the father of all of the original stress research, describes positive stress as “eustress.”  To work at peak efficiency, you must have a certain level of stress, which puts you in an excited state of readiness to succeed. Think about the excited energy (eustress) when you depart on an exciting vacation.

This excited anticipation is fine. Exceeding that level of readiness interferes with your performance. It’s understanding this delicate balance that is important. Again, you can learn more about eustress in my book.

4. Understanding the Triggers to Your Stress is the First Step in Keeping You From Falling Pray to Stress Reactions

Events that take place in our lives do NOT cause our stress reactions.  Rather, it’s our interpretation of those events (our self-talk) that determines whether we will be stressed or not. It’s not the event itself that causes the stress.

An example: You have a particularly difficult and aggressive client, who complains to you every time the market tanks and his portfolio value drops.  Your assistant tells you that he is on the phone.  This is a trigger that can dramatically increase your stress, if you tell yourself something awful as a result, such as, “He will rant and rave, insult my ability to advise him, etc., and I have to bit my tongue and take it.”

But, you can tell yourself something like this, to mitigate your stress:  “Even though the conversation may be unpleasant, I am pleased with the outcome each time because I simply let him vent and then calmly explain my core investment strategies to him once again, and he calms down and remains my client.”  With this kind of thought pattern,  the discomfort in dealing with him will be short-lived and then you can get on with your day.

5. You Can Stop Your Stress Reactions at Warp Speed!

As I explained, people who experience chronic stress are vulnerable to all kinds of physiological changes and symptoms because they remain in an anxious state for too long, impacting their immune system. They remain in that anxious state because they don’t recognize the thoughts that trigger the stress in the first place and they continue thinking the same way. Understanding the triggers to your stress is the first step in stopping the reactions quickly.

Once you understand the triggers, you can calm down quickly, using the many techniques I describe in Chapter 5 of my book. You are not a victim of your past habits. YOU CAN CHANGE THEM, starting now!

Watch for Part 2 in this series on Remarkable Stress Facts that Every Advisor Should Know.

The post 10 Remarkable Stress Facts that Every Advisor Should Know: Part 1 appeared first on Dr. Jack Singer.