I’ve never been a great fan of New Years resolutions because I think we commit to them at a poor time. ‎Life is super busy, kids are at home for a few more days, friends are around, holiday cleanup starts and many of us are tired from the deviation of usual routines and the excess that holidays often bring. We’re squished for time at best when we make these resolutions.

I wrote years ago, I’ve been more of a fan for commitments being made after reflective consideration and it matters not when you start as long as you start. While a personal fan of the “start now”, I’ve found it’s not so easy for many to “just do it”, especially in the first week of January.

If it were that easy, then you and everyone else would have done it already.

All this being said and done, do you really have time to add yet one more goal‎ into your life? Are you not already busy enough?

So I have an idea or two. Rather than setting new goals for 2017 then feeling badly when you don’t achieve or change anything, what if you decide to commit to simplify your life? Can you remove something that will create more time in your day or reduce your stress, and increase your space for self- care?

My sense is that as soon as we feel rushed in our day or compressed and squished for time, we start to live by the hormones of stress. So we see life through the perspective of “stress”. We react through the hormones of stress and we communicate through the conversation of stress.
Gotta get through the day.
Gotta push to get it done.
I’m running out of time.
Rather than feeling empowered we often feel burdened right?

At night our sleep is disturbed rather than restorative because our mind keeps going. We have difficulty turning off our day. So we wake up to the same life, the very next day and the day after that. In actuality we create a new “set-point” in how we feel which we get used to. I’d call it that “day-to-day tension” and bus”y”ness.‎ In other words this new set-point has become a habit. And we feel we need to add to this to accomplish more? Sounds like madness when I actually work through this in my head.

I’m not sure if we need to add “more”. And the thought of adding more can be overwhelming or at least for me it can. So in thinking about it, I wondered if we simplified to create “space” and wiggle room? Can we open up a place through removing something else allowing for new possibilities and change?
What if we simplify through removing that which takes us away from being “present now” or that which no longer serves?

Inspired by an article I read in a yoga journal the author spoke of “Drishti” which is a “point of focus”. What if we purposefully created a point of focus to make life more real, with less distraction and simpler?

My idea is to practice Drishti for simplifying my life. How about you? Are you able to commit to creating Drishti for your day?

I combat my confusion a couple of ways which get me results. The first helps with gathering more data and information which can often be the missing piece in moving forward. The second is to tune in. Using my inner GPS to get in touch with my feelings, get grounded and look at where I want to go.
Often when I am off course, my next step becomes hazy, my radar goes up, even if I cannot put my finger on it. That’s my interrupt that it’s time to reassess and re-group is warranted.

More and more I am reversing the order. Tuning-in first to bring me into alignment with what I want to feel and in doing that the “fog” usually clears. My next step often “magically” appears. The next step isn’t always huge, sometimes it’s actually quite small. However it’s a step that I feel good about, likely because it’s come from within, vs being externally forced.

So whenever stuck, work on self-awareness first. Be willing to receive however your direction shows up. Apply to your roadmap, to plan a course, with the knowledge that there are many ways to get from here to “there.”

JRR Tolkien in Fellowship of the Ring wrote: “Not all those who wander are not lost”

To evolve your ability to “tune-in” the Move to Mastery 10 week program will move you forward. I personally guarantee if you do all the exercises within the self-directed program, you’ll emerge with the Best Version of You – transformed at the other end.

Are You Listening?

If you’re reading this, your awareness is currently or partly at least, on this blog post.

Can you commit to yourself TODAY, to spend 3-5 minutes where you direct your awareness inward?
Close your eyes, tune-in, stop the mind chatter.
Turn off that active mind, just for 3-5 minutes. Set your phone timer if you must.
Sit upright, breathe through your nose focusing on the in-and-out motion coming deeply from the diaphragm. Or get outside in nature. Listen to her. Perhaps go to a park or a patch of green grass. Remove your shoes and get grounded.

Stretch. Move into postures that extend the spine and hips. Hint: get into postures opposite to what you do daily. Open up the chest. Get into a Yoga class. I am a huge fan…

I just read two papers where the title pretty much tells you what the research is on. The first 1) van der Kolk, et al. Yoga as an adjunctive treatment for posttraumatic stress disorder: a randomized controlled trial J Clin Psychiatry, 2014;75(6):e559-65
2) Carlson LE. et al. Mindfulness-based cancer recovery and supportive-expressive therapy maintain telomere length relative to control in distressed breast cancer survivors. Cancer. 2014. Nov 3 doi 10.1002/cncr.29063
Telomeres are the “cap” on the ends of our genes that when shorten, directly impact aging. They can though be lengthened/repaired…

Speaking from my own experience, and I do not think I am alone, we tend to put aside the feedback from our body until it starts screaming. Case in point – working at the computer, mind busy on a task, needing to hit the bathroom. We hold and hold and hold until it can no longer be ignored…

The gift (through prayer, being in nature, turning off the active mind, breathing, yoga or whatever floats your boat) to ourselves is that inner connection. 3-5 minutes can recharge the batteries, reset priorities, increase productivity and ground us. In increasing our self-awareness we gain insights on so many levels.
Listen to Innate. what’s it tell you?

Your next step is?

Initially hurt, I realized that this person thought they knew me. They certainly don’t. It said more about them I think than me. I remember thinking at the time, “Just because I do not express my emotions like you, doesn’t mean I don’t have them.” It’s not a competition is it? They’re working on the assumption that if I acted the way they did and wanted to see, then my feelings would then somehow be real. But it would not be authentic for me. I’d be acting or I guess “over-acting”.
It’s kind of a horrible thing to say to someone, “You’re unfeeling.” Ouch.

I am not a drama queen, an over-the-top expressive and not a fan of gossip. I don’t blurt out – well most of the time anyway, whatever thought and feeling I’m having in the moment. Feedback I’ve received is that from outward appearances I’m not riled easily. I love deep meaningful conversation.

And yes, I do feel things deeply. I also express my feelings, in private and through different ways. Because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, it doesn’t mean I don’t have one. My outward expression of emotion does not equate to how deeply I feel.

I know I am not alone as there’s lots of us out there. There is a difference between having emotions and being emotional. Just because I do not express myself the same way you do, doesn’t not mean I’m not feeling something.

It niggled at me though.

Was I making similar judgments towards others?
I had to fess up that I had and this whole conversation brought elevated awareness and compassion for how others choose to/or not to express how they feel.

It is natural to feel connected to those who are like us. If we’re brought up with the perception that more expression = more feeling, then I totally get the perception that less expression must mean (to them) less feeling. Then again that’s a belief. Not necessarily the truth.

So all-in-all, the challenge of being unfeeling evoked an insightful exercise, with greater awareness and reminder that people feel. Deeply. How they express, when they express and to whom they express is unique.

We’re in France for both a holiday and a ceremony that my husband and his group has been working on for close to a year now.

Taking place is a ceremony for the repatriation of soil from the Vimy Memorial near Arras, France.
I’ll explain the significance.

In our home city of Barrie, there is revitalization of the downtown core and in it, a statue honouring the service made by members of the military, specifically from our area. Within that is something special and the reason we’re here. (Will share in a moment)

We also have CFB Borden, a large Canadian Forces training facility just a few short miles outside the city. While Borden is a city in its own, its 100th anniversary occurs in June 2016. Prior to Canadian involvement in Vimy, Borden constructed trenches to train the solders heading over to Vimy in 1916-17. As part of 100th Borden celebration, a memorial statue is being built. Embedded in that will be soil from Vimy, while sterilized for environmental reasons, the symbolism of “bringing the essence” of those who died during the Vimy campaign, is profound. The remaining DNA in the earth of those who died, is finally coming home.

Vimy’s 100 celebration will be in 2017. After WW1 France provided this piece of land, in France to Canadians – it’s considered Canadian soil.

As Christmas presents to our kids last year we decided to bring them over to attend some unique celebrations with us along with all those involved in donating to the construction of the statues. They all arrive in a week or so… I’ll update this blog, once attended as I think I’ll be all goosebumps and patriotic.

June 2 PauB island sunset

It’s cathartic and akin to taking a day to pause – to regroup, regenerate, “chillax”. A day to make a connection – with yourself.

Not long ago, one of my gal pals asked me if I had done that as an adult.
Nope not EVER. After all who had time to do that? This is the same gal pal who has out lived her cancer prognosis by over 20 years. The thought remained in the back of my mind. Maybe she’s got a lesson for me behind the question.

Then my inner coach popped up and I thought why not?
Why don’t I have time to do that?
What would happen if I did?
My inner critic reared her ugly head and provided the many reasons why I shouldn’t.
So I challenged it.
What if I stayed in my PJ’S for the day to just “hang”?
So I did. Up at our island. On a sunny Tuesday this past week. It’s spring, and a time where mother nature renews herself. What I found was sheer delight.
I did 90 minutes of Yoga, accomplished creating two Power Points for presentations coming up. I also meditated longer than well …”like ever”… a couple of hours. I listened to birds. Had a few cups of tea. Tended my organic garden and painted. The day seemed to extend itself. There was heightened awareness of what was surrounding me.

I watched this sun set from our deck. It was a day spent in “re-creating” the Best Version of me.
All in my PJ’s. I can promise it’ll happen again.
When was the last time you spent a day in yours?

We’re seeing a new kind of injury through what I’d call extreme fitness. Those are the activities that make you feel guilty if you don’t push out one more rep, extend that stretch into and through a lot of pain, complete one more cycle of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training), or get in one more mile.

While there are best practices for all sorts of training, I believe we need to bring awareness to where we are today, right now, because each day can be different. Yes, we want to push our body and temper that with recovery and adaptation time. The challenge is to know where we are today to build on our best foundation. What if we’re going too hard and too fast way too soon? What if we’re simply not changing our routines enough?

I am not a believer in “one size fits all.” It doesn’t make sense to me. I am a believer that there are activities that best fit each of us and that often changes as we age. When we have flexibility in mindset, there is flexibility in performance.

While we are designed to be physically active, I do not know if we are designed to undergo extremes on a regular basis. And “extremes” means different things for each of us.

In my generation we’re seeing the results of degeneration related to repetitive trauma from lifting weights as gym rats in our 20’s. It was all about the weight and sometimes, perhaps often at the expense of correct form. Same thing goes for those who played contact sports. There’s a cumulative effect of impact that is balanced with the many life lessons gained and joy of organized sports.

So what to do? As BJ Palmer said, “Life is motion and motion is life.” We want activity. A couple of reminders if I may:

• There is a difference between good pain and bad pain. The discernment is made through internal awareness. Good discomfort is where you are pushing at the edge of your limits, bad pain is exceeding them, going too far, creating wear and tear. If you are tuning in and undistracted in your activity, I believe your body will innately tell you the difference. Then it’s important to listen to what it’s saying.

• Ask yourself, “Where is my body at today?” We come to each day in a different point of time. Some days we’re rested, happier, ready to go while other days perhaps it’s the opposite. The saying that “the body reflects what the mind is on” is true.

• While daily activity is life-supporting, check in and make decisions on where you are today. If your body is telling you not to push out one more burpee while others cheer you on, who knows best? If you’re taking the last ski run at the end of the day when tired, guess which run it is that blows your knee out? If the stretching pose you’re doing just doesn’t ‎”feel” right, perhaps your body is telling you to let up on it a bit today. Tune in and always work with your discernment.

• Look at your form. Be present and focus on what you’re doing. If you have poor form are you really gaining the true benefits? Especially at the end of an activity, is it really going to be helping or hindering you? Be it yoga, running, cross fit or golf, are you patterning an asymmetry, and poor movement patterns? Are you compensating?

Something to think about.

I was recently in Dallas and after giving a 12 hour workshop I connected with a few friends with whom I spent some time in a transformational leadership program back in 2012.

One of them mentioned an experience with a disabled butterfly whose wing was broken. By the time he was done sharing his story, in my mind, there was no mistake why the butterfly arrived at this time in his life. The most wonderful thing was his many lessons from that butterfly. In nurturing the damaged butterfly, it birthed 16 eggs and gave life to another generation of butterflies. At a time that was needed, the butterfly showed up, and it changed his outlook in a number of areas in his life.

His story reminds me of the power of reflection and looking for meaning in new places. It also reminds me of the power of listening to someone else’s story. His story reminded me of a number of things and funnily enough, I was almost in tears by the end of the life cycle of the butterfly. Then he shared how this butterfly moved him, too.

So for this week…What unique or unusual experience has happened to you? Upon reflection, were there new insights gained? What were they? Can you share them? I’d love to read or hear them.

Be sure to let me know what comes up for you.

Oh and to my friend René thank you so much for sharing! It made my day!!

Donna is an accomplished journalist, editor, author, community activist, organizer and facilitator of over 1000 self-employed business owners. She has a tremendous track record! More important is her life as a wife, mother and grandmother.

There are so many more who know this woman better than I. That being said, what I can say is in the 30 years I’ve watched her, she is the epitome of a selfless server. A room of close to 200 honoured her and spoke of her accomplishments. When it was her turn to receive, she demonstrated why she is so deserving. Rather than speak of herself, she continued to recognize and thank others. It’s who she is. She lives by example. She does what she does not for personal recognition, not for accolades, and not for “likes” on Facebook.

It was so refreshing to see someone who truly loves and connects people. I like to say that coming together in unity is “community”. It certainly is for her. As she said, make a life through doing what you love, not doing it for the paycheck.

In this age of selfies, self-aggrandizement, and plagiarism it is such a great reminder to get in the game of life and get the work done. Not for others to see you but to really “do good” for the sake of doing good!

Some keepsakes I took away that evening after listening to Donna were to:

• Keep life real.
• Learn other people’s stories because there are gems and lessons within.
• Honour your passions.
• Always thank others.
• Give your heart fully to things you love, and you’ll be provided with plenty.

So, thank you Donna! You are a mentor to me and so many others!!

I remained calm when I realized the person in front of me was not going to be in any way helpful. No point wasting my energy on something that she is unable to change, so it was best to keep moving forward.

While waiting at the attendant’s desk, I did what I teach: I practiced what I call a “check-in”. I quickly got present with “what is” so I could move my thoughts and feelings, all of my energy, to something better.

I thought, “What solution am I currently not seeing yet? What action can I take now to achieve the result (getting myself to St. Louis in time to deliver a 12 hour program) I am looking for?”

Immediately what came through was to not take what I was told at face value and check it myself. So, I did and not only did I find my solution, I created a result which was even better than the original plan! I got myself to my destination 5 hours ahead of time!! Instead of spending ten hours in two airports, I enjoyed a relaxing dinner in the hotel!!!

Would you benefit from a check-in right now? For more information on check-ins you can review my previous blogs, connect with me for a coaching session or join the 90-Day Move to Mastery program.