Stepmom, Stepdad, Stepparents - Steparmilies!

Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 03 May 2010 23:51:00 +0000

Mother’s Day is here already. It’s hard to believe that 2010 is almost half over. I guess my usual “I can’t believe how time flies by” is a reality jolt again. As we get older “time” really is a precious commodity. Think about what you love to do. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or even effort. It just has to be an important and meaningful use of your time. If you enjoy doing it with, or in the company of others—that’s a bonus. Don’t get me wrong! It’s OK to rest, relax, rejuvenate, recharge, even “slack-off” at times. Everything should be a choice—Your Choice! I choose to do what makes me happy. I hope my family and friends respect that. If I’m happy, I can be a better partner in my relationships. As usual, let me know your feelings.

Dr. Rick

BIRTHDAY WISHES

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:54:00 +0000

I hope this isn’t too vain of me, but today’s blog is about my upcoming birthday. Over the years my birthday celebration has taken on different traditional purposes in my life. There have been “milestone” birthdays (30, 40, & 50). There have been “legal/social” birthdays (18-voting, 21-drinking, 25-reduction of car insurance premiums, 30-“I’m one of them now!”, 40-whattayamean I need bifocals, 50-AARP, 55-Marlins games at half price). The future “ I’m close but not yet” birthdays (59 ½-IRA distributions without penalty, 60-movie discounts, 65-Medicare, 66-first year of my full retirement age). I’ve often made wishes that never come true. I guess many of them have been unrealistic. The more important wishes come true only with my input and energy. At least I’ve learned that lesson. For this birthday (March 6th) my wish is that all of you reading this blog write a comment about you—anything about you! Let me know you’re out there.

Dr. Rick

MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:33:00 +0000

It’s a new year and, as many people do, I gave myself a pep talk about what I would like to change, focus on, commit to, and fix about me this year. I, of course, promise to follow through on all of the goals I set, reward myself in some way for accomplishing them, and feel better about myself for moving forward and being positive. I took me a long time to come up with anything for this list, because this year, unlike years in the past, I chose to include only things I am truly willing to change, not just things I’d like to change. One of the things I found was that by altering the rules to only include what I’m willing to do made me really think harder and more strategically. Ultimately I came up with what I think is the perfect New Year’s resolution for me. And you’ve just read it!!!!

Dr. Rick

HAPPY NEW YEAR

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 14:55:00 +0000

2009 is finally behind us! It’s been an interesting year, full of ups and downs, full of promise and misfortune. On the up side, we attended the National Stationery Show for the first time and got good feedback about our printed line. We’re still trying to find the right representation to promote our cards. We have gotten progressively more and more hits on the website and the subscriber base has grown this year. On the down side, we’ve been affected by the recession and economic crisis as everyone else-- not only in our greeting card business, but in our Accounting and Psychology practices as well. Carmen also lost her best friend after a courageous three year battle with ovarian cancer. Our memories of Ronnie are vivid and animated, but her time with us was way too short. Losing older friends and relatives are a part of the life cycle, but losing someone at the peak of their life is unnatural and unfair. As much as I try, I can’t truly understand what Carmen is feeling. Please take the time to love and care for those around you. Life is wonderful, but life is short. From all of us at thestepcardcollection, have a very happy new year.

Dr. Rick

thestepcardcollection

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:01:00 +0000

We’ve just completed two years since the launching of www.thestepcardcollection.com. While we’ve made changes to the website, our thought process, our plan, the printed card line, and other areas of this business, the one thing that has not changed is the vision we had at the onset regarding the importance of our message—the emotions and sentiments expressed between family members is important and unique. We hope you’ve enjoyed our site and our message, and have sent e-cards, written suggestions, read our Step-Forum, and used the facets of the website for your personal growth. We are continually committed to giving you the best information and products to help promote the wellness of your stepfamily. Please let us know your needs. Thank you for your support.

Dr. Rick

STEPGRANDPARENTS - Sometimes Lost in the Mix!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:44:00 +0000

Stepgrandparents usually enter into a family in one of two ways. They marry someone older when they are older and they get a huge package which includes stepchildren and stepgrandchildren. Or, their biological child marries someone who has children from a previous relationship and voila, they get new stepgrandchildren. Either way, I’ve talked with people in this situation and manytimes they are confused about their grandparent identity and/or their role. A lot of the time the responsibility falls on your shoulders to “keep a finger in the pie.” Let’s face it, you can still act like the typical grandparents—rile up the kids, have fun at their parents expense, and then go home. What do your stepgrandchildren call you? Is it OK to call you by your first name or refer to you as Aunt or Uncle? If their four other biological grandparents are still around do they really see you as a Bonus or as an odd extension to the family? So, all you stepgrandparents out there—let me hear from you. What are your experiences?

Dr. Rick

Is “Step” A Dirty Word?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 18:45:00 +0000

I’ve spoken with several people lately about being in a stepfamily and how they identify themselves and other family members. I’ve found some mixed reactions, but one that has me at least a little bit surprised is the number of people that go out of their way to not identify themselves as being part of a stepfamily. One friend of mine told me that his daughter (really his stepdaughter) would be offended if he called her (or certainly thought of her) as his “step”-daughter. Others have echoed this sentiment. I’ve found, although it’s not scientific or absolute, that dependent upon when a stepparent enters the picture and/or the involvement and presence of the noncustodial parent, the stepparent may take on the more traditional parenting role and hence, the concept of “step” is moot. My aforementioned friend has been the stepfather for more than 20 years (he married the biological mother when his stepdaughter was 4 years old). The biological father has never had a stable relationship with his daughter, and so my friend the stepfather, for all intents and purposes, has been the “father” for many years. I’m curious to know your experience with, and thoughts about this concept. Are you in a stepfamily, but identify your stepparent, stepchildren, and stepsiblings as if they are not “step” at all? Please let me know. As usual, I want to stay in step with you!

Dr. Rick

What's My Role?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:44:00 +0000

What happens when, with all good intentions, your attempt to intervene in a family situation involving one of your stepchildren is necessary? Do you find that your approach is as important as your message? When an attempt is made to parent your stepson or stepdaughter, do you carry the weight necessary to have an impact? Have you been given explicit permission by your spouse (their biological parent) to have any authority or power to begin with? Even with your spouse's blessing, are there parameters to your input? If, after you give it your best shot, your stepchild doesn't respond, or doesn't react, or doesn't even care that you've tried to help,
what is your reaction? How much of this is based on the relationship that you've established with your stepchild, and not on your spouse's permission at all? Okay, I've asked a lot of questions, and honestly if I had the answers this would be a completely different blog entry. What do you have to say for yourselves? Please let me know.

Dr. Rick

Friendship

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 22:03:00 +0000

What is being a friend? What are the boundaries, the parameters, the rules? I’ve been thinking about this a great deal recently as I watch from afar, even though I’m in the fishbowl, too. The feelings and emotions that connect two people can’t be measured quantitatively, nor should they be. People are connected by love, commitment, necessity, caring, truth, and a myriad of other things important and, perhaps meaningful only to them. A true friendship has no barriers because problems are resolved through action, not inaction. Needs, agendas, personal priorities are put on hold until the immediate crisis/issue is addressed. How we keep a balance in our relationship with our closest friends is not magic—it’s honest. I have learned that true friendship has no boundaries, no parameters, and definitely no rules.

Dr. Rick

Life is Precious

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:42:00 +0000

We almost never know what may happen in life-good or bad. Yeah, we can plan for some things, and we can have some power over other things happening, but the one thing we can never control are the thoughts, behaviors, and feelings of others. We sometimes get disappointed when others don’t behave or respond the way we’d like them to. In that case, mostly, our expectations are unrealistic, or we are looking for a specific behavior where anything else is unacceptable. We sometimes are limiting and single-minded, even though we would never admit or recognize it. I’m beginning to learn that life is really short, love is extremely important, and happiness is measured in ways that are very personal to each of us. Most importantly, say and act what you feel today because there is no guarantee for tomorrow. Life is precious.

Dr. Rick

Friendly Update from thestepcardcollection.com

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:30:00 +0000

The 4th of July holiday is over and for us at thestepcardcollection; things are settling. We’ve been winding down from our trip to NY and we’re now contacting card reps, some of whom we met at the National Stationery Show. The printed card part of this business is more grueling and demanding than we would have predicted, but we’re still trying to get the word out about stepfamily greeting cards. Carmen and I hope that you had a nice (albeit brief) respite from work for Independence Day. Some of you have asked about my not writing a blog for a couple of weeks, and I am now committed to being more consistent. I’d also love to hear from you about topics of interest. Let’s keep a dialog going.

Dr. Rick

Stepfather's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:14:00 +0000

It’s almost Stepfather’s Day (June 21st, the same as Father’s Day). It gives us the opportunity to say what we’d like to our stepdad as we celebrate his day. Cards we can buy in stores don’t always give us the option to say what we are feeling. If this is the case, write your own sentiments that express what’s really in your heart. Some of the stuff out there is really mushy, and maybe you don’t feel that way. I know many people who have struggled in their relationship with their stepdad, but they’re still trying to make it better. Sometimes people have mixed feelings, good and bad, loving and angry. Don’t be afraid to put it into words if you can. I always think that honesty trumps what everyone thinks you’re supposed to feel. Sometimes short and to the point beats long and drawn out, which can lose its impact. I hope you all enjoy the day.

Dr. Rick

National Stationery Show - Final Installment

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Thu, 28 May 2009 16:40:00 +0000

Well, we’re back! We had a great time in New York, and more importantly, got great feedback about our printed card line. We learned a lot about the greeting card industry and met many other card creators and manufacturers with companies about the same size as ours. Of course, nobody else is producing cards for stepfamilies, so we feel we’re on the cutting edge of this slice of the population. We had little time to explore the City, but after the Show ended we did spend an extra day to visit Chinatown, Little Italy, and Central Park (Tavern on the Green will never be the same). All in all, it was an educational and fun experience. To enjoy the pictures, click here.

Dr. Rick

Some NTL Stationery Show fun!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:46:00 +0000

Day three! We made some booth design changes to better showcase of our cardline today - this is the third day - tonight we have our supplyside party and we are looking foward to a great afternoon. The sun is finally shinning in New York! Wish us luck!

New York...here we come!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Tue, 12 May 2009 17:59:00 +0000

NEW YORK: HERE WE COME!!
We’re down to five days before we leave Miami for the National Stationery Show in New York. Our booth components and printed cards are already on the way and will hopefully be there waiting for us in our booth when we arrive (good luck to that!). Carmen (both wife and stepdaughter), Jeff, and I have worked tirelessly to put the booth together. I must say, it looks pretty impressive. My sister, Hildy, did an unbelievably professional job putting together sample books for the booth and an incredible poster display for our submission into the new company best product contest. For those interested we presented stepcard # 1 (you can look it up at the Online Store). We’re very excited and hope to get some retail stores interested in the card line. New York, being such a huge stage, will give us a great opportunity to educate the public and let them know that greeting cards for stepfamily members are out there. We’ll also tout our FREE e-card website. We’ll be sure to take lots of pictures, which we’ll post when we return. Wish us luck. P.S., we got some press on Sunday in the Washington Post. It’s in an article by the reporter, Theola Labbe-Debose. You can find it here!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:16:00 +0000

thestepcardcollection is a website revolving around families and their issues. Lately I’ve been thinking and talking a lot about my family in Cuba. Everyone I come across is talking about the change in the US policy regarding travel to Cuba. Because I’m a Cuban born American Citizen they think I have the answers. There are many here that think a trip to Cuba is putting money in the hands of that government, there are also many that have always felt that keeping Cuban born Americans that have immigrated to the US over the past 50 years from being able to visit their loved ones in their homeland punishes the families in both countries rather than the Cuban government, in truth it is a bit of both. Though I’ve been here most of my life I still have close family in Cuba that I haven’t seen in over 40 years and barely know. I’ve always wanted to visit but fear of the Cuban government and what could happen to me there has kept me from going. It may be time, what do you think?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 17:44:00 +0000

MOTHER’S DAY FOR STEPMOMS

As we approach Mother’s Day (May 10th this year) we reflect on what a special person exists in all our lives. Regardless of time or geography, we celebrate the relationship we have with our Mom, even if she’s no longer with us physically. For those of us in stepfamilies, we get to celebrate the relationship with our stepmom, too. Although this relationship may be very different than the one with our biological Mother, it is oftentimes an important one as well. Let’s face it, some of us have developed great relationships with our stepparents over the years, although I’m not naïve enough to think that that’s always the case. The role a stepparent plays is often a difficult one. They almost never take the place of a biological parent, but fill a void left by a divorce or a death. Let me know how you celebrate Mother’s Day. What kind of relationship have you developed with your Stepmother over the years? Can you celebrate Mother’s Day for your Mom and your Stepmom? On May 10th let’s celebrate Mother’s Day for all Mothers!

Dr. Rick

Visit us in Booth 1351!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:48:00 +0000

Stepfamilies in Australia

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:24:00 +0000

Stepfamilies today are becoming a prominent part of Australian family life. It is currently estimated that one in five Australian families is a stepfamily. All families need information, education and support. While resources for biological families are available in the community, services often fail to address the unique differences associated with stepfamilies. Stepfamilies Australia is a partnership between the Stepfamily Associations of Victoria, South Australia, Western Australia, New South Wales, Queensland and Tasmania, formed in July 2007.

Stepfamilies Australia works as a catalyst, adding value to the family relationships sector. The innovative work of its members takes a lead to break through myths and sends a message to the community that stepfamilies are complex and hard work, but also achievable, with support.

For more information, news and tips please visit the Stepfamilies Australia website!

GEARING UP FOR NEW YORK-installment #2

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 16:50:00 +0000

Just eight weeks away, we’re getting really excited about the National Stationery Show (May 17-20). We’re in the process of figuring out how to design our booth so we can best show off our card line. This show is the Super Bowl of card shows, and we need to introduce the public to stepcards. We’ve booked a hotel so we can walk back and forth to the venue. We’ve been told that the four day Show is intense and not to expect to do anything else in New York until the Show is over. We’ll be thrilled if we can get a Card Rep to carry our line and also if we can talk to Retailers who might put our cards in their stores. We know we need a “grass roots” effort to get our cards out there, and we’re in it for the long haul. We’ll keep you posted. To all our subscribers and supporters, thanks for your help.

Carmen & Dr. Rick

Check us out on YouTube!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:20:00 +0000

Lasting Friendships

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:08:00 +0000

This weekend we had a barbeque with some of my long time friends. We brought together a group of friends that haven’t seen each other in 15-20years. Though I’ve seen some of them off and on we haven’t stayed connected the way we should have, Rick hadn’t even met some. When you do something like this memories fly back into your mind making you feel almost like a teenager again and taking you back to another life. Alina, the redhead was my best friend growing up, we met in first grade. We just reconnected after a 15 year separation and it’s like we never were apart. As always we have promised to stay in touch and I think this time we will, we are all mature enough to realize how quickly time flies and how important true friends, old and new, are to our lives.

Carmen

Friendship - the hard times....

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:34:00 +0000

Friendship – the hard times

Sometimes friendship can be hard. Right now one of my best friends is going through treatment for cancer. Six months of treatments every other Monday…we go, we sit, I work, I read or just kill time while mostly she sleeps (thankfully). But this is what friendship is all about, not just the good times and God knows we’ve had lots of those, but the bad times too. She needs me, I’m there, just as she would be (or has been) for me…boyfriends, marriages, divorces, parties, vacations, work outs sickness, death we’ve done it all and will do this…whatever it takes…we’re friends...best friends.

New York, New York!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 21:35:00 +0000

This is the first installment of our journey to the New York Stationery Show which is from May 17-20 at the Javits Center. We’re preparing to display our Collection of printed cards to sell to retailers and to get a Card Representative to sell our line. We’re excited about being in New York, but we probably won’t be able to see much except for the Show. Planning and designing our booth is going to be a mission. We all have varying ideas, most good (Carmen and Jeff) and some bad (mine). Although Jeff wants a life-sized cutout of me. No way, I say!!! I’ll keep you updated about our progress and we’ll have plenty of pictures from the design stage through the actual Show. We’re hoping to get the message out that stepfamily greeting cards really exist, but if you’re reading this, you already know that. More to come.

Dr. Rick

HOW IS THE ECONOMY AFFECTING YOU?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr. Rick & Carmen) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 21:17:00 +0000

Here we are in the midst of a recession, although what does it matter what it’s called, money is tight. I see it all around me! People are cutting back all over. Some people I know who never worried about their job are either concerned that they might lose it, or are already out of work. We’ve had crises in our nation before, but not like this in a long time. Many “experts” say don’t worry, things will rebound in a couple of years—
investments will increase, jobs will be more plentiful, and we’ll be prosperous again. What do we do in the meantime? These same experts predict that things will get worse before they get better. Isn’t that a dreadful thought! This environment really tests our character. Those of us used to lending a helping hand may find that to be more difficult, but hopefully, not impossible. This is where our values, personal commitments, and our family ties get stressed and stretched, but not broken. Hang in there. One day at a time. Maybe one moment at a time, when necessary. Good luck everyone, we’ll need it.

Dr. Rick