A mother was concerned about her young daughter who was repeatedly banging her head and pulling out her hair.  Trying to understand this upsetting behavior, we got to talking about her family.  Reluctantly, the mother told me about an older child, a son whom she had given up for adoption.  At the time, she knew that she would not be able to give this child the stable home he deserved and she couldn’t get an abortion.  Adoption was the solution; but the emotional cost was steep.  Her grief at the loss haunted her next pregnancy.  With the birth of a healthy baby – my patient — instead of joy, she felt torn.  “How could I love her,” this mom asked, “when I had given her brother away?”  Years later, the pain in her voice was still raw.

Commenting on the Supreme Court arguments, Justice Amy Coney Barrett said that mothers, denied the option of abortion, could simply choose adoption. But there is nothing simple about giving a child up for adoption.  Mothers naturally fall in love with their babies, either during the pregnancy or after. Adoption may bring relief, but often there is also grief. And if that grief cannot be resolved, it grows and spreads throughout the family.

Thinking about the pain shared by this mother and her child led me to three conclusions.

First, judges should ground their decisions in an understanding of human nature.  Laws that deny the reality of how humans actually are – that deny, for example, that mother’s love their babies — do violence to people. They break hearts.

Second, mothers need a louder voice. American justice is not just the product of abstract principles objectively applied.  Supreme Court decisions are made by people appointed through a political process.   Mothers need to be politically powerful, if the law is to respect their lived experience.

Third, in order to change the laws that injure our patients, doctors need to be led by the parents who trust us with their children.

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Here’s how to plan ahead if you’re a single or divorced parent who’s worried about how to care for your kids if you get coronavirus.
– By Brittany Wong

Read more: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-to-know-single-parent-coronavirus_l_5e962076c5b6a00694f4af7a

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Here in Ohio, lots of children are out of school for the few weeks, at least. And school closures are going to happen everywhere as the epidemic picks up. So here you are, at home, with a 9 year old, and a 7 year old and the 4 year old twins. There’s only so much TV kids can watch before it’s just boring. And even computer games and YouTube videos have their limits. And too many hours staring at screens is bad for children. It was bad for them before coronavirus, and it’s still bad for them.

So what can you do? Here are some suggestions:

1. Have a daily routine, like they do in preschool: a time for breakfast, for mid-morning snack, for lunch, for afternoon snack, for dinner. Stick to the schedule if you can, and give the children assignments: preparing the food, setting the table, clearing up, washing up. Let them take responsibility. Create a structure that is predictable, so they have a sense of being in control.
2. Brainstorm fun things to do with your kids: Reading aloud; playing board games; building a fort in the living room; drawing; practicing Yoga; dancing; learning a new language together; playing cards; and free play.
3. Set some rules: everyone has to look out for everyone else; no put-downs; time each day for
   sharing ideas and feelings; everyone talks, and everyone listens.
4. Do things outside if you can. Go for early walks and late ones as a family.
5. Sing together. If you are religious, pray together.
6. Build time for learning into your schedule. Some children will have school assignments, and you can make up assignments for younger ones. If you need lessons, check out Khan Academy at
   www.khanacademy.org. It’s a very good nonprofit that offers lots and lots of online courses at
   all levels. For Very young children, check out https://kidshealth.org/ and
   http://www.readingbrightstart.org, which are from Nemours, an excellent nonprofit hospital
   chain which does a lot to support education.
7. Check out your public library. Library branches are likely to be closed during the epidemic, but some will have “drive through” service, where you can get books without leaving your car. The books will be germ-free, and free for you to use. A big book of stories, a couple of picture books, and maybe a Harry Potter book for reading aloud, or something like it. The epidemic is scary for everyone. One antidote for fear is togetherness. Another is fun. Another is learning together, preparing for a better future.

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Also, many of my patients are being taken care of by their grandparents. The opioid epidemic is part of
the reason why. With birthparents in rehab, in jail, or still actively using, the grandparents have stepped
in. Older people, like these brave and generous grandparents, are the last people I want to see in my
waiting room getting exposed to multiple children. Children, we know, can spread the coronavirus even
though they have nothing more than a runny nose. How many children with runny noses come through
my waiting room on a usual day?

Thankfully, a lot of the care we pediatricians provide is preventative – and today, the best way to
prevent the spread of a very serious illness is to stay away from the doctor’s office, if you possibly can.
So, if you have a routine appointment with your child’s doctor in the next three or four weeks, call and
reschedule, or see if it the appointment can be done remotely. Being a little late with planned
immunizations usually isn’t a big problem. Spreading coronavirus could be.

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/president-trump-is-entering-his-terrible-twos/2019/01/07/d6b4c7e0-12bf-11e9-b6ad-9cfd62dbb0a8_story.html

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