Dragons Knitting Lace

Weighing in

2012-02-13T11:09:00.000-06:00

306

I came really close to not posting this week's weigh in. I could cry. I have sat and thought and I find that I am falling back into old habits and old eating patterns. I need to really get a grip on it and start eating better.

I am supposed to be getting my tax returns soon so I think when I do I will go grocery shopping and stock the freezer and cabinets with healthy food choices.

I have been lazy and I have to stop.

TTFN...

Restless

2012-02-08T08:40:00.000-06:00

For the last week or so I have been feeling unsettled. I don't know if anyone else knows what I am talking about, but I have. A feeling of dissatisfaction and unrest. Of not being centered.

I find myself longing for things that aren't happening and probably won't happen...unless there are changes...Changes that I don't really know just yet how to make.

I have yet to find the true motivation to start adding exercise to my day, yet I still get really aggrivated when I don't loose any weight...I continue to think that I don't have time and yet there won't be time unless I make, or rather, take time. I am still struggling with the idea that it is ok to take care of me.

I find that I want to eat...not just a "hmm, I'm hungry" but a deep seated NEED to eat. I am so stressed right now. Once again Algebra is kicking my butt. I have to find a way to get a different mind set about Algebra. I have 18 hours this semester, yes I did that to myself, but to get everything done, I had to. J, my youngest, is making me crazy. He thinks he is 10 feet tall and has the attitute to match. My house looks like a goat exploded, for the animal rights people...chill...it's an expression.

I watched a show about hoarders the other day and was somewhat disturbed, not just by the mess, but by what one of the phsycologists said. She was talking about how people tend to think that hoarders are lazy and undisciplined, but that was not true. She said that most hoarders were very detail oriented and very much perfectionists. That if they couldn't do something perfectly, then they would get stuck and couldn't go forward. That statement scared me...

I look around me and look at all the things that I need to do and I get so overwhelmed. I need to start and yet I can't find a spot to start. When I think that I have found a place to start it kind of snowballs into what else needs to be done to do this...Basically, I get stalled and lost and a lot of the time, I don't do anything. The show about the hoarders...it scared me because I can see how it could happen...

So many things need change and I so don't know how to go about it...

Must go tend the dragons...ttfn.

Weigh in #5

2012-02-05T08:49:00.000-06:00

Who would have thought that about 9.6 lbs in I would hit a plateau?!

303.0

I suppose that I should be really happy that I haven't gained...but...something has to give.

I will make a concerted effort to add some form of cardio to my daily routine and *shudder* work with the bow flex.

TTFN

February Check In

2012-02-02T09:37:00.000-06:00

Sorry for being a day late...5 page summary paper and got called in to teach a class at Mockingbird Moon.

So, here are the cold hard facts for the month of January.

	1/1/2012	2/1/2012	Totals
Weight	312.6	303	9.6	Pounds
Neck	18	17	1	Inches
Upper Arm	19.5	18	1.5	Inches
Wrist	7	6.75	0.25	Inches
Chest	55	53	2	Inches
Waist	56	54	2	Inches
Hips	58	56	2	Inches
Upper Thigh	31	30	1	Inches
Calf	23.5	23.25	0.25	Inches
			10

I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more lost, but I got to thinking about it. I lost almost 10 lbs and I did loose 10 inches. I'm on track and with proper eating and if I add exercise, I will be in a good place.

Now for the pictures...they aren't pretty...but here they are....

Looking at these I think I must really rethink my shirt options.

Anyway...got reading to do...knitting content in the next few days...TTFN!

Weigh in #4

2012-01-30T11:08:00.002-06:00

Sorry to be a day late posting. I have been crazy busy.

Weigh in #4 on Sunday...

303.0

I hate that I have gained, but I am really glad that it was no more than it is. I have the dietitians food plan and will grocery shop Tuesday. I will get back on the horse this week. I will be back on Feb 1 with a picture, weight and measurements.

Gotta write 700-1000 words for Comp I...TTFN

Irony

2012-01-26T12:59:00.001-06:00

Sometimes life can be funny...not necessarily in a good way, but not necessarily in a bad way.

You always read, hear or are told that "before you begin any weight loss/exercise program check with your doctor"...Oddly enough, things worked out that I had a dr's appointment on January 9 this year and after asking the 2 questions that I had the appointment for, my dr. asked if I needed anything else. I casually mentioned that I needed to schedule a physical, I told her about wanting to loose 100 lbs this year, and my annual exam, ect. Dr. Bailey says..."We can do the physical now!" Uh??? OK?

30 minutes and a UA, a complete blood work up and dr's release to exercise later, I leave the dr's office kind of wondering what had just happened. About a week later...Dr. Bailey's nurse called me...that's NEVER a good thing.

There were a couple areas of concern. My cholesterol is high...I'm 300+ pounds, of course my cholesterol is high...duh. The shocker though, my glucose levels where high. All these years my fasting blood sugars have been textbook perfect, around a 70 or 75. Apparently, the guidelines for diabetes have changed...

My cholesterol is 231, LDL is 157...apparently this is not a good thing. My HDL is 74, apparently this is not high enough. My historical glucose is 6.1, high normal is 5.7...long story short...I got to go see a diabetic educator/dietitian today...

Rachel, the diabetic educator/dietitian, was very observant. She complemented the knitting I was doing. An enterlac bag for a class I'm teaching at Mockingbird Moon starting on Feb 18, 3:30 pm to 5:30 pm and there will be 3 follow up classes for questions and finishing. I'll post a picture of the class sample in progress tomorrow...

Anyway...I ask if I am going home with a glucometer, thankfully no. Apparently, I have to have my historical glucose tested again April 11 and if I can get it under 5.7 I'm in the clear, if not...well, then the glucometer comes home.

So I told Rachel about my resolution to loose 100 lbs this year. She looked at me kind of funny, I explained that 52 weeks, 2 lbs a week...it's doable. She thought for a minute and got this funny look on her face and smiled really big...and asked me how she could help!!! I was gobsmacked!

We talked for almost an hour and I came home with a food plan for 1500 calories and 2 weeks of sample menus, PLUS a sheet showing me how many servings of each food group I need a day with recipes! I am so excited about this. I told her about using sparkpeople.com and we talked about what I was eating. I explained that I was kind of lost, that I knew the basics but needed some direction.

Rachel made me an appointment to check my glucose and cholesterol on April 11 and she is going to see me every 3 months to help me stay on track and adjust my calories as I loose. I think that was really cool. She did not laugh at me. She didn't chew my ass. She ASKED how she could help me.

I hope that she realizes that asking that question helped as much or more than the food plan she created for me...

Gotta make a grocery list...and read...TTFN

The Tale of Weight Gain...at least last weeks

2012-01-23T10:10:00.000-06:00

Yes, I gained weight...Yes, I am MAJORLY wigged by this fact...Unfortunately, I know why I gained weight last week...

I had a cocky food week last week. I was feeling over confident by the first two weeks and loosing weight. I ate sugar 3 or 4 times and I really don't know what it is other than pure addiction, but that throws me for a loop every time. I drank soda 3 or 4 times...I know better. I didn't eat fiber filled foods so things didn't "flow" as they should have.

I knew on Wednesday that I was going to gain weight. I somewhat panicked and thought really hard about, as in I caught myself reaching for, using a laxative to purge. Heck, I thought about purging. Yes, I have done these things before. I'm not proud of it, but I have.

I decided NOT to use a laxative and I decided NOT to purge but to cope with it. It doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me feel stronger. I feel like sh*& for gaining 1.2 lbs of weight...and I shouldn't. Life happens...but I do.

This morning, I made the rice bowl for breakfast. High fiber, high flavor and savory. I had coffee without sweetener or cream and I have my trusty water glass next to me. I am going to do my best to get back on track and make conscious decisions to make better food choices.

Like I said before...going public with my weight loss is not easy for me, but I feel like it keeps me feeling accountable, as odd as that may sound.

Today I will use the bow flex. I will take care of me. I will NOT beat myself up anymore about gaining 1.2 lbs of weight. I will shake it off and go on.

*sigh* always sounds so much better and easier than it actually is.

Gotta do homework, I'm the dumba@# that decided to take 18 hours AND loose 100 lbs...yeah...TTFN

Weigh in #3

2012-01-22T08:52:00.002-06:00

Dammit...

302.2

Can't say I'm surprised. Two bad food weeks in a row...More tomorrow.

TTFN

The Bow Flex

2012-01-16T12:25:00.000-06:00

This...thing...

Lives in my craft/spare/soon to be office/bedroom...and it's scary.

I guess if you were not a 40 something, 5 ft tall, severely overweight and totally out of shape woman it wouldn't be so scary...However, I am a 40 something, 5 ft tall, severely overweight and totally out of shape woman, so it's scary.

Well, today I made it's acquaintance. I actually went in and USED it! The person we bought it from still had the work-out poster and I did all the upper body exercised on it. I will TRY and do the lower body work-out tomorrow.

I was really surprised that no longer than what I was on the machine, I have jelly arms and my abs are kind of the "gonna really hurt tomorrow" feel already...did I mention just HOW out of shape I am?

I used 15 pounds of resistance and did reps of 12, one rep per exercise. I know it isn't much, but I did it. I made the decision to, for that brief few moments, to take care of me...and I'm glad.

I grew up in a house where the mother figure - my grandmother - never did for herself. She always did for everyone else and had a tendency to be over critical when I would do something for me and inform me that I was selfish and I was bad for doing those things. Long story short. To make the decision to do these few things, as menial and small as they are, for me. To take care of me. Is, to me, a big deal.

I'm really proud of the fact that I have maintained what I have been doing this long, yeah 16 days isn't that long, but it is. It takes 28 days to create or get rid of a habit. I am 12 days away from cementing a habit of healthier food choices. If I do the bow flex tomorrow, I will be 26 days away from cementing a habit of strength training...now to start walking.

I like to walk, I DON'T like to walk on the street. We don't have sidewalks on our block, so you have to walk in the street. As stupid as it is, because no one drives crazy on our block, it makes me very, very nervous. I feel like I am being watched and it bothers me.

Now to just get past that...TTFN

Weight in #2

2012-01-15T17:18:00.001-06:00

Don't know how but....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

301.0

I have absolutely no idea how I lost 4.8 lbs this week...but I guess even if I ate more than I should have, not drinking 2 liters plus of soda a day kind of off sets things...

TTFN!!

Straightening Things Out

2012-01-12T14:07:00.000-06:00

It's been a bad food week...If I don't gain weight back...I'll be amazed...

I sit here in my home and I am restless. I look around and feel the urge...no...the need to straighten. A need to get things set right and to clean and organize and put things in order...I get this way when life is particularly crazy...and life has been crazy.

School starts on Tuesday. I'm taking 18 hours this semester and I'm terrified. My daughter R is going back to school this semester. YAY!!! She has declared culinary as her major, so this should be fun. I plan on learning a lot from her culinary classes!

Life feels so out of control this week...and I can tell you EXACTLY where I feel like I lost control...Tuesday night I ate a danish at our knit night...I foolishly thought that I could eat a danish and be fine...Not the case...All I have wanted to do this week is eat. To a point I have eaten...a lot.

I don't know if everyone thinks like that or if it is just folks like me with a food issue. I realize after several years that I do have an issue with food. Much like an alcoholic...only different...you have to eat.

I haven't eaten a bunch of garbage, frankly because I don't keep it in the house, I would eat it...or drink it if I kept soda. It just seems like I have done nothing but eat, though I have been keeping up with my nutrition tracker. Painful as it may be. I hang my head and beat it against the wall figuratively...but I know that it isn't the end...I have the power to make different choices at the next meal...I have the power, maybe not the ability, to choose not to eat as much or crap...now if I just can.

I think that I am going to start my spring cleaning early and go room by room and deep clean and organize. To purge if you will the things that are unnecessary. At least I am going to try. Of course this makes me want to get the Spackle and fill nail holes and gouges in the walls and prepare for painting and then the trim would have to be stained and the tile needs to be changed and well, I just can't afford to do that right now...it's a snowball effect.

I am going to go through each room and clean and organize and straighten. To put my Christmas tree away and such...I am going to try and get a schedule in place for my school work. I got way behind last semester...I wasn't prepared for how much time it required...This semester, I know how much time is required and I have more hours...send good fibes.

I have been knitting. Not a lot. My table lamp in the living room unceremoniously died last week and I haven't found one to replace it yet so I can't knit in there right now. Soon though I will say "f!@# this" and just buy some cheap and ugly lamp because I can't stand it any more.

I am almost to the decrease rows on my Skinner hat, I'm on row 10 of 24 before decreases and I have it in the dining room so when I am working in the kitchen I can catch a few stitches or rows here and there.

I am on block 5 of 20 with the Fireside afghan, I only work on it in the bedroom, I can usually work on it while I read, much of which I will be doing for school.

Have to go and get some water, I guess really in the grand scheme that since I am not drinking massive amounts of soda and I am drinking massive amounts of water...maybe the eating won't be so bad as if I was padding it with a 2-liter or more of soda a day...

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN

Can't Win

2012-01-09T09:14:00.000-06:00

So I post yesterday about my weight loss...YAY!!!

We had an incredibly crazy morning yesterday so I didn't get around to telling D about the 6.8 lbs I lost until we were on the way to have lunch with FIL.

I get a high-5, then, he informs me that he thinks that the way I am doing it isn't the right way. That I shouldn't deny myself certain foods...we went to dinner on Friday to Steak N Shake, had burgers and with the coupon I had, shakes...only I DIDN'T drink a shake. I was proud of myself, but for some reason it seems to be upsetting to him.

At lunch with FIL, we eat at a BBQ buffet, Cotton Eyed Joe's, while I did have a soda, I didn't have dessert. YAY me!!!

We get home and D and the kids are wanting something sweet and I told them I would happily go and get them something and D says, "no, you wouldn't get yourself some." I respond, "So?"

Needless to say, I didn't go get sweets, YAY!!!, and D tells the kids that I NEED something sweet.

I just don't get it...

I know me, if I eat sweet, I WANT sweet. I took my whole no sweets as a good thing...

Who knows...

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN

Ps. Knitting content tomorrow!

Weigh-in Number 1

2012-01-08T16:58:00.000-06:00

Well, as promised...I stepped on the scale this morning...

DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

305.6

Pretty good for a week that I really didn't do any exercise. I hope to walk next week and...there is still the bow flex...

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN!!!

Something Interesting

2012-01-06T11:51:00.001-06:00

I tried something new for breakfast this morning...it was interesting in a good way...more on that later.

I did indeed make black bean soup yesterday from this recipe. I have to say that it was by far one of the easiest soups I have ever made. This is what it looked like in the pot after I had pureed about half of it in the food processor.

I was skeptical...until I tasted it. It tasted wonderful! A little smokey from the chili powder and the cumin, a little bite from the salsa and just really satisfying.

The recipe said that it made four 1 1/4 cup servings and I was really happy when I portioned it out that it actually did. I have 3 bowls in the freezer and one in the fridge for lunch/dinner today. I will definitely make this often. At 191 calories...I'd say that it would be a good safe food option.

I also decided that I would make some brown rice. I really like rice and beans and thought it would be good with the soup. Even at 216 calories a cup for the rice it still not a bad calorie count at 407 calories roughly.

I cooked 2 cups of brown rice which got me approximately 6 cups of cooked brown rice. I portioned it out this morning and put 4 in the freezer for use later with the soup or for breakfast...Which brings us to something interesting...I found the recipe for the Massa Brown Rice Bowl. As I am a huge fan of

Asian/ Oriental flavors and food profiles...I was game. There are mushrooms, shredded carrot, ginger, garlic, frozen peas, eggs and my *cough* additions, sarachi and bacon. It was incredible!!!

I have to say that I have never had a breakfast/lunch item that was as satisfying as this was...I was comfortably full but not OMG stuffed...the eggs, while I overcooked them, had the silkiest texture that I have ever had in my life. I will drop the cooking time on the eggs by about 1/3 to 1/2 next time I make this. One of the big things...it was satisfying...it didn't leave me wanting...something. I will happily eat this many more times. I will be trying other veggies in it and while I did add bacon, not in the original, it was still just 582 calories according to my nutrition tracker at sparkpeople.com. To me, for an complete meal, I don't think that's too bad. Even on 1550 a day I still have around 800-900 calories for the day...AWESOME!!!

I have to admit that I did have one problem with the dish...Making the decision that I was worth cooking something for. So many times I have not cooked something just for me because I didn't feel like I deserved it. Today, I decided that I am worth cooking good, healthy food for. I think that is a lot of the problems that some people have with weight lose. I know it is for me. The ongoing dialog in my head about "never enough, never good enough". To not feel like I deserve anything special or just for me.

Today...I decided that I matter...I decided to, this one time, take care of me...hopefully more will follow.

Gotta go and try to make friends with the bow flex...*shudder*...TTFN

You know your fat when...and some knitting.

2012-01-05T12:03:00.000-06:00

Let's start with the knitting for the folks out there that could care less about my weight issues.

For 2012 I plan on stash shopping again and I am going to complete UFO's.

Skinner Hat

Fireside Patchwork Afghan

UFO #1 Skinner Hat
It is done with Sundara Yarn I got several years ago in the color "Aurora Borialis". I worry that the color may be too dark to see the lace pattern, but we shall see after blocking. I only have 1 repeat of the pattern and decreases.

UFO #2 The Fireside Patchwork Afghan.
I actually started this in January 2009! I started this during a week long power outage due to an ice storm. I also discovered that I can't knit if my hands are really cold...I have 3 of 20 blocks completed and got a good start on block 4. Hopefully I will have several finished objects for 2012.

You know your fat when...NONE OF THE SHOES AT ACADEMY WILL FIT!!!!!

We went to Academy to get me some shoes so I can get started walking. I must have tried on 30 pairs of shoes and I have feet that were I not the size I am, could buy shoes in the kids department, but they are so fat and wide that a D width wasn't wide enough. Talk about depressing. I know shopping for clothes is depressing, but shoes?! I mean really!!!

On the exercise front I did get on an elliptical for a bit yesterday, not long 5 or 10 minutes, but hey any exercise is better than none right? I'm still afraid of the bow flex. It's in my crafting room so I have to rearrange some things, but I will make friends with it before the week is out.

As far as food goes, I have done OK I think. I have cut way, way back on soda. I have been drinking coffee, black, in the mornings. If we go out, I have been getting a soda, but the size that comes with the meal at fast food, not up sizing. It may not sound like much, but for me, it's a plus. I usually order the largest size drink that the place had. So I think that it is a good thing.

We ate at Backyard Burger last night and they now have the option to get a side salad instead of fries and that is what I did. It's a really nice side salad too, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes and mushrooms with croutons on the side, I didn't use the croutons and only half of the raspberry vinaigrette that came with it. I also split a burger with my youngest, he was still hungry after the kids burger. I think that I did relatively well, but we will see Sunday morning.

I have been drinking water. I have one of those no sweat, acrylic glasses with a straw that keeps ice, so I really like that.

I am going to make soup today to have some good food choices in the freezer to make it a bit easier. I will do my best to take pictures of it when it's done and post it and the recipe tomorrow.

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN

2011 Finished Objects

2012-01-03T09:37:00.000-06:00

I had every intention of posting a lovely list with pictures of all of the items that I completed in 2011...I got a new computer for Christmas...I loved my old laptop...but...my NEW laptop rocks! I am taking business classes and my new laptop has a ten-key pad on the keyboard!! I can't tell you how much this makes me happy. It makes life so much easier..

Anyway...Here is a list of my finished pieces from 2011 and as many pictures that I could find.

Haggis

There was...

Crazy Train

Coming Home

Winter Clapotis aka Super Blankie

Stroller Blanket

Naked Star Hat

Josiah's Star

Duffers

DeWayne's Afghan

Stor Lyndburg

Fetching

Josiah's Socks

Sarah's Corkscrew Scarf

Josiah's Hat

Then there were a few that I didn't get pictures of...

Color work cup cozy

Adult head scarf with crocheted flower

Child's head scarf with crocheted flower

Basic hat for the Sunshine Group

Garter stitch bathmat

If I find any more I will edit the post...all in all not to bad though.

I have been doing the "Knit Doctor" at Mocking Bird Moon on Saturday's 12:30 pm to 3:30 pm, it's a free service, so if you have a knit that is giving you trouble bring it by and lets see if we can fix the problem.

I taught my first actual "class" in 2011...it was AWESOME!!! It was a color work class and we made cup cozies. I am happy to say that the ladies that took the class all seemed very happy and one went on to create a color work owl!! I will be teaching more color work classes and I will be teaching an enterlac class. In the enterlac class we will be making a bag to felt. I will have the class sample in the store Saturday.

As far and the exercise and weight loss, yes, I realize it has only been three days, so far so good. For anyone out there with a food issue, you know everyday without a binge is a good day. The Bow Flex and I have yet to make friends...it's scary...but before the week is out I will use it. I will be going Wednesday or Thursday to get my running shoes...no, I am not going to start out running...I have been told by a wonderful young man, that didn't flinch or judge when I explained what I was doing, that while I was going to be walking for a while before trying to run, that running shoes would offer more and better support for less chance of injury. The Academy in Rogers, AR...just saying...

Keep the good vibes coming and wish me luck...

Happy knitting in 2012!

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN

January 1, 2012…the ugly…the good

2012-01-01T17:47:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are…January 1, 2012…and as promised, I am posting my picture, weight and measurements. It’s ugly…REALLY UGLY…which is why I am doing this. What I am going to do is, on the first of each month, I am going to post a new picture and my measurements. I will post my weight on Sundays. I realize that there are going to be major ups and downs…once again, please any negative comments, keep them to yourself.

Weight: 312.6 lbs.

Neck: 18 in

Upper Arm: 19.5 in

Wrist: 7 in

Chest: 55 in

Waist: 56 in

Hips: 58 in

Upper Thigh: 31 in

Calf: 23.5 in

My plan is to post about exercise, food and the emotion that goes with it…I mean, anyone out there with a weight issue knows that there are emotions involved. I thought for a long time that I wasn’t one of those people. I like to eat, I love food and sweets…well, let’s just say that I LOVE SWEETS!!! That’s what is going to be hard, keeping the sweets under control. Then of course there is soda…I LOVE soda…I will be actively working on reducing the amount of soda that I drink…but yeah, there are a lot of emotions involved in my relationship with food…

I will be getting a pair of running shoes so I can start to walk, to keep the hanging, flappy skin from being so bad. Who am I kidding; I’m almost 41 and 200 lbs. over-weight. There will be flappy skin. My goal for the year is to lose 100 lbs. of the 200 I need to loose. Not really unrealistic. 52 weeks in the year and 2 lbs. more or less a week and I should be able to loose slowly and by the grace of God keep it off.

Yes, 200 lbs. overweight…I am 5’ tall on good days 4’ 11.5’’ others and a small bone structure…

I am going to work on portion size, fewer sweets and less soda; adding more veggies, water, tea, coffee, fish and sea food; reducing processed and adding whole foods and grains. I may even add a vitamin, not sure about that yet. I have a doctor’s appointment on Jan 9, so Dr. approval should not be a problem.

On the exercise front, I plan to start walking, slowly; 10 minutes to start and building up. A Bow Flex came to live in my house this holiday season, so…yeah. We shall see how well that goes.

Please send positive vibes…

Knitting…Last year I “stash-shopped” all year. I bought yarn 2 times and they were small buys. I bought fleece once…not so small a buy, 2 full alpaca fleeces…yeah.

In 2011 as far as I can tell I completed 19 projects. I didn’t think that was much until I got to looking at them. I will do a post in the next couple of days with pictures of finished objects.

In 2012, I plan on stash shopping for the most part. What I really want to accomplish is to finish UFO’s this year. I have a lot of them and want some closure…I feel that this is the best way to do it.

School…I ended last semester with a 3.25 GPA and took 12 hours. This semester, I am taking 18 hours and feel much better prepared for the time and effort that it will take to make it through. I hope that I can maintain my GPA if not raise it up.

Well…here it is the ugly and the good…

Gotta tend the dragons…TTFN

Almost 2012

2011-12-29T10:16:00.000-06:00

December 29, 2011

As I have stated before, I am going to be making some changes this year. I have decided to go public, as public as this blog is, with my struggles with my weight.

I am 5 feet tall and almost 41 years old. I would say that it was time to make some changes.

On January 1, 2012, how cliché is it to start on the New Year, I will post a picture of myself, my weight and measurements. This is not something that I do lightly. It is something that I am sure I am not the only one out there that needs to do this.

I am taking inspiration from Crazy Aunt Purl on this one.

It is not going to be easy…or fun. It is going to be hard and heart wrenching and embarrassing.

I am not doing this for pats on the back. I would really appreciate any negative comments, if any, to be kept to one’s self.

I would love to join Weight Watcher’s but being unemployed, I can’t afford it. This is my answer to that problem. I will blog.

I am going to try to post several times a week, I would love to post daily, but life happens.

I will fill in more information in the next couple of days.

As always I will be showing knitting progress and projects and basic stuff.

I don’t know if anyone even really reads this so, let’s see what the year brings.

Must tend the dragons…TTFN

Christmas 2011

2011-12-28T18:37:00.000-06:00

I truly hope that everyone out there had a really Merry Christmas. I hope that families were together and that family feuding was at a minimum.

The crew here at the Dragon barn are well and had a good Christmas. The kids were happy. The family well behaved, the adults.

As I get closer to New Years I am going to try to post more often. I am going to be making some very real changes here this year...changes in health, life and spirit.

Take care and hang on.

TTFN

3.25

2011-12-22T10:13:00.002-06:00

Just a quickie this morning...

I pulled out my first semester of college with a 3.25!

I am totally excited about this.

I hope to do better next semester. Please wish me luck.

I will be posting knitting pictures after Christmas as there are a few gift knits that I want to keep a surprise.

TTFN...

Year End and Year Beginning

2011-12-19T17:48:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the long radio silence. Life has been crazy. School coming to a close and finals...OMG!!! Finals! After being out of school for 20+ years I have to say that I wasn't quite ready for just how much work school was going to be or for finals.

I can't believe that after a year that I am still unemployed. That has been really hard. I feel like my self worth has lowered because I don't get up every morning and go to a job. I mean, I do home school, but even with that I have fallen behind trying to keep up...if that makes any sense. I take care of my children, but I notice that I am not as patient as I should be because of how I feel. Of course, I am getting to that time in life when the change is looming on the horizon...

I really never planned on being out of work for a year. Of course, with the exception of people on Wall Street and the government, I don't think any of us expected the economy to tank this hard. It's Christmas time and I feel bad because I don't have the money to do the things I would like to for my kids or for D...and that breaks my heart.

Of course all of these things compound and grow and compound and grow...

I don't like the place that I am right now...my weight, my attitude...life in general. I am discontent and restless. I am sure that these things have to do with the fact that I have been unemployed for a year...it's a vicious cycle.

I am going to make some changes in January. Start out fresh...so cliche.

I think that I am going to take a page out of "Crazy Aunt Purl's" book and do a monthly check in...maybe more often. I have plans to take something very personal very public...well as public as this blog is...

For all of you our there coming for knitting content...I will have some to post soon. I am doing a couple of commission pieces and I will have the second done tonight/tomorrow morning and will post pics then.

You know the funny thing about tending to the dragons...it's a lot like herding cats sometimes.

Discontent

2011-11-10T15:32:00.000-06:00

So sorry for the radio silence. Life and school have both been kicking my butt. I had to accept that English Comp I and I did not have a winning relationship. I will be taking it next semester to offer more time and such to it.

I have to say that Comp I was really a challenge and I think that if I had the opportunity to take it in a classroom I would find it easier. On line you are required to read everyones posts and respond to a minimum of three with 5 lines minimum response. It was very time consuming considering when you posted for the week it was usually 15 - 18 lines. I really have to say that I wasn't expecting it to be that time consuming. My bad.

There has been knitting, but not a lot, see reference to school kicking my butt.

Has anyone else out there had problems adjusting to the time change? I just can't seem to get my sleep regulated.

I am excited to say that I was approached by the wonderful women from Mockingbird Moon last week and was asked to work as the "Knit Dr." on Saturdays from 12:30 pm to 3:30 pm. I will do my very best to live up to the name. I was humbled and honored.

Fair warning that there are no pictures and I am kind of blue so if you want to stop reading, now would be the time.

I find that I am really discontent these days. I can't seem to get focused or settled and I am just really not very happy right now. I don't know if it has to do with the weather, with my age, with the coming on of the change or what. I just know that I am not in a good place right now. I just want to survive the holidays and then make some major changes in my life.

Gotta go tend the dragons, they are close to breaking their chains...TTFN

MyMemories...Of Childhood and a Giveaway!!!!

2011-10-06T10:23:00.000-05:00

Hello Readers!!

At least I hope that there are readers...

Sorry for the delay, school, life and everything else is still running full tilt and I seem to be on the side line trying to find a place to grab hold and get caught up.

My kitchen reminds me of childhood right now. Over the last three weeks I have been putting up peaches, peach butter and peach preserves...a faint fragrance of peach comes off me right now...but the jars sure are pretty in my cupboard, and will be really nice this winter.

I have been on a bit of a knitting hiatus, I just really don't know what I want to knit right now...some times, when I finish something I get kind of lost trying to figure out what to knit next. I have been working on "Off The Deep End" though. I have joined it in the round and I think I even did it without twisting! I am actually on row three of the lace pattern and I am happy to report that so far the cast on and the joining in the round is the worst of it. The lace pattern has been very friendly so far.

I have also started the "Skinner" hat. I am doing it in an old colorway from Sundara Yarn called Aurora Borialis, it is almost a blue/black with little points of light here and there. I am just on the ribbing right now on size US 1 dpns. I am looking for my US 2 lace addis for the body. I put them up so I would know where they were...I may never see them again.

School is kicking my butt, ok, algebra is kicking my butt. I have faith though. I will be successful, I have no other choice but to succeed.

Now!!!! There has been much excitement here at the dragon barn! I was approached by a company called "My Memories" to do a giveaway of their scrap booking software. I have played with it and it is really very easy to use and, keep in mind I don't usually scrapbook, I could see where this is going to become very addictive. In just a few minutes I was able to put together four album pages using a template and my own pictures.

Don't be put off by my color choices. There are tons of different styles, textures, patterns and add ons. You can use a template or create your own. It is really fun.

This software is really very cool. It has a feature to make cards and calendars and all sorts of things and then you can print them off or save them to your computer or a flash drive. I really enjoyed playing with it and over the school break in November I fully intend to make my Christmas cards with it.

To enter to win a complete version of the software all you have to do it visit their sight at:
http://www.mymemories.com/ and look at the digital paper packs and/or the layouts that they have and come back here and comment about which was your favorite.

The website has a blog, they have youTube video tutorials and all sorts of things to help you along the way.

One entry per person, no later than 11:59 pm Sunday. I will use a random number generator to select the winner. I will announce the winner on Tuesday October 11 by 2:00 pm.

Good Luck! Thanks for reading! and TTFN

Updates..Knitting...School...Charity

2011-09-24T16:58:00.000-05:00

Well, school is moving along. I seem to be keeping my head above water so far. Though to be honest, I don't think that there is really anything else out there but school work and house work.

Now, I posted before about Mockingbird Moon yarn shop, I would like to elaborate a bit about this shop. This shop is not only cute and friendly, but it has things other than yarn. There are stamps and some quilts stuff and the cutest little dog. I have to say a better behaved Yorkie I have never met. He was friendly and quiet. The wonderful ladies that run this shop also didn't mind that I had my very busy 6 year old son with me. He was allowed to play with the dog and not once was I made to feel bad for having a child in their shop. I wish I could say that about all the yarn shops that I go to...Sadly...I can't. If you happen to be in the Bentonville area you should go an see these wonderful ladies. Goodness knows that there are not enough yarn shops in this area.

I have been knitting. I knit a hat for my daughter S.

I have posted this on my Ravelry. It is the Naked Star Hat pattern and I enjoyed knitting it. After some of the more complicated knits it was a really nice breather.

I also completed Josiah's Star. This was a really fun project. It is modular knit so there is no sewing and when you are done, you are done!!

I'm kind of stumped as what I am going to knit next. I have been "stash shopping" this year and so far I have completed 7 or 8 projects...not too bad! I will be working on Off the Deep End and possibly my Swirl Shawl. I also have a fair isle cardigan that I may try and finish so I have a second sweater for the winter...who knows.

I hope to get Coming Home blocked this week. I will post pictures of the process and the finished object.

Charity...I don't get many responses in my comments but...I have a friend L that knits for the kids in the area and in Joplin. She is currently needing stocking caps and has a really basic easy pattern that she has given me. It can be knit either in the round or flat and then sewn up so it would be a good pattern for the beginner or the advanced knitter just needing to use up some leftovers. If you will drop me a comment I will send you the pattern. Your email address with not be shared with anyone or used in any way. I just don't know how to add a link to the pattern right now but I will work on it.

Keep knitting, the weather here is definitely taken a fall turn and it makes it nice to knit something warm.

Gotta tend the dragons...TTFN

Mockingbird Moon

2011-09-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the down time. I only have a minute right now, but I wanted to tell you all about the lovely yarn shop that opened in Bentonville, AR on Saturday.

The shop is Mockingbird Moon and it is a very nice and very sweet shop. The ladies that run it are sisters and their mother was in helping the on Saturday. I am happy to report that even with a downpour the shop was busy and very upbeat while I was there.

I hate that this is so short, but I only have a minute. I promise to post better in a couple of days. I have pictures and other stuff.

Take care. I'm off to tend the dragons...TTFN