Christian Personal Development Blog [Dream Believe and Manifest.com]

How to deal with negative people the Jesus way

2012-02-23T11:57:00.001-08:00

Do you want know the best way to deal with negative people?

If you do then all you have to do is look at the example of Jesus and study how He handled negative people in Hid earthly life and then implement these strategies in your own life.

Below are some tips on how to handle negative people- the Jesus way:

* Jesus didn`t focus on those against Him but was focused on His goals for His three year ministry. The reason why He didn`t stress about all the people against Him was because He had a compelling mission to complete on this earth and was focused on more than `little people`. Like Jesus, you must have compelling goals that keep you moving forward in life and keep going and not focused on the small fries against you. When you have exciting goals and a purpose you don`t have the time to focus on negative people.

* Jesus didn`t even waste His time trying to negotiate or to make amends with the people that were against Him and wanted to kill Him. Even in the last hours of Jesus`s life when He was charged and taken before the authorities Jesus barely uttered a word when He was put on trial. Jesus knew what God wanted to do to save humanity and didn`t bother trying to explain Himself or get Himself acquitted by His enemies.

* However when required, Jesus spoke back to the people that tried to put him publicly to the test and put him down. He was not afraid to get on the bad side of other people and this is because Jesus had boldness and had no fear of the opinions of other men. Jesus was not addicted to the approval of others like so many people are in this world.

* Jesus was well aware of the character of His enemies and He knew their limits and was not threatened by them. He saw through everyone`s heart and knew that the people that were against Him were bitten by jealousy and hate and were foolish and narrow minded individuals. As Jesus knew these enemies of His were foolish He did not take their nasty words to His heart and instead only focused on the words of His beloved father. The truth is that the people that put you down all the time are the exact kind of people that Jesus had to deal with.

When Jesus made His first appearance at the temple to read the word of God in the beginning of His ministry, members of the temple started mocking and making critical comments about where Jesus came from and the fact that He was a carpenter`s son in Nazareth. Nevertheless, Jesus didn`t allow these critics to stop the mission that God had commissioned Him to do on the earth. Jesus had faith in Himself and never gave up on His dreams just because a few people decided to mock Him and put Him down.

Like Jesus, understand that it`s no use to give up on the dreams God put in your heart just because some people decided to come against you and put you down. It`s important for your survival and resilience to understand the motives of why people are negative and like to put others down. These are the people that are usually unsuccessful in life, pessimistic and miserable individuals who are not satisfied with their lives and always criticize themselves.

* Jesus had strong faith in Himself and in God. In order to face negative people you have to believe in yourself and this will be your source of stability when people try to hit you down and make you feel insecure and unsure about yourself in life. Whatever a person says to put you down must be ignored and not taken to heart. Most people can`t properly handle their own lives and give opinions about things that they know nothing about so don`t take them seriously. In addition, like our wonderful Lord, keep your faith strong in God and run to Him as He is your refuge when things and negative are against you in your walk of life.

Japan Diary ~ Shopping and Study!

2011-12-22T00:42:00.000-08:00

Hi friends!

This is Christina reporting! The last few days we have been studying Japanese very hard.. Now we have joined the local Joetsu community network that the government runs.. We have been assigned a teacher and we are endeavouring to level up on our Japanese..

We drive by car to the government building [as I have an international driving permit] and after we go and enjoy time studying at one of the many coffee shops!

After we spend the day shopping... Here in Japan the shopping experience is amazing to say the least! Actually consumerism is one of the strong points of the Japanese economy - the Japanese love shopping!!!

The home appliances are so convenient and more technologically superior than those in the west.. Just browsing home stores and technology stores can take a whole day and there are so many mega stores for electronics!

Actually products are quite affordable and because of such competition [in terms of all products], stores offer point and member cards where you can get quick bonus points, discounts and free products!! Already we have become members to some of our favorite stores and have reaped so many benefits: free products, discounts and offers!

The other day at a 100yen mega store I won a 500yen coupon when the staff ran my receipt through the computer...yeaaaaah!!!!!!

Tommorow we are heading for Tokyo!!!!!! Our old home!! [we worked in Tokyo a few years back]. We are deciding where to go to see Christmas illumination scenes, where to eat where we get a high tower view of the nightsky of Tokyo city!! We bought a Tokyo guide book from the magazine store yesterday and we are reading it for recommendations.. It is in Japanese, but our level is ok to understand enough!

Perhaps we will go to the Park Tower Prince Hotel for stay and the view is so nice at dinner time!! This is the view:

So nice for Christmas time!!

We plan to spend a beautiful Christmas eve with our special friends from Tokyo!!

Keep posted dear friends - we will be leaving for Tokyo on Friday morning by car and plan to keep you posted about our adventures as much as possible!

Lots of love dear brothers and sisters in Christ!

Love Christina [and Teppie]

Adventures in Japan Update!

2011-12-21T23:19:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone- this is Teppie from Dream Believe and Manifest! It has been a long time since we posted and that is because we have been so busy here in Japan! We definitely will be keeping you updated in this blog post on what we have been up to!!!

Basically it has been snowing nearly everyday here in Niigata! Growing up in Australia we all dream of a white Christmas and snow and it looks so perfect and beautiful...but actually when you get used to it, it`s very messy and inconvenient and dangerous at times when walking and driving. Me and Christina have slipped on a countless number of occasions!!!!! That was scary!!!We are not very used to driving in the snow!!!!

We took a drive from the city of Joetsu where we are living at the moment and drove to Nigata city where the whole place has been beautifully lit up with Christmas illumunations! Recently Japan has been obsessed with the Christmas season and everything associated with this beautiful event.

Things have changed dramatically over the years in terms of Christmas becoming a very big part of Japanese modern culture!!! Unfortunately, in terms of the religious aspect of Christmas, most of the Japanese do not see Christmas as a time of celebrating the birth of our beautiful Lord Jesus Christ...but it is great to feel the Christmas season alive and kicking in Japan!

Actually I was so touched in one clothing store .. they were playing a beautiful song about Christ and how he died for us and the beauty of his birth.. I nearlly started crying in the store. To come so far to a country steeped in Buddhism and to hear this playing is truly amazing... I love you Jesus!

Me and Christina have been over induldging in the tastes of Japan!! In particular the hot beverages and desserts which are absolutely delicious!! To be honest, we have been treated like Princesses!!

YUMMY!!!!! Berry and Berry Waffle with ice cream and fluffy vanilla cream!!! We both loved the ice-cream and berry flavoured sause!!!!!!

Here we are at Tully`s Coffee a cool hangout to have a great coffee or tea and dessert and just hang out!!! Tully`s is like the equivalent of Starbucks in Japan and has amazing drinks and great atmosphere!!!

We love going to coffee shops at least once or even twice a day to muse, read the bible and other books and to make new ideas for our blog that are fun, exciting and informative!

The service here is amazing!! As it is winter here and very cold, this coffee shop Tully`s offers complimentary soft blankets for customers to cover their legs to provide that extra comfort on those chilly winter days. Here I am [Teppie] enjoying my hot irish cream latte with a cosy blanket over my cold legs.

Very comfortable and a great time to relax after a hard day in the snow!!!!

Finally after the end of a snowy day I took an onsen. Onsen is the word for therapeutic bath in Japanese. I have been taking these baths nearly every day!!! I have become addicted to them and every Japanese home has a bath- quite different to the western bath but personally I think it is more comfortable!!!

I have been using aromatherapy - mineral bath salts for a German company called Kneipp. They offer a whole range of herbal, non chemical bath salts and they are a great way to relax and calm you after a hard day or to rejuvinate you in the morning!! This time it is Gute Nacht formula with Hops and Valerian.. I recommend this Gute Nacht bath salt very much!!! Also lavender and orange are amazing - I recommend you to try them!!!!

Anyway, until next time my dear friends!!! Take care and enjoy during the Christmas season. I`ll be posting soon, so please visit my blog to check out my new post! God bless you all from Teppie [and Christina!] xxxxoooo

Christmas mania and more!

2011-12-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

Hello friends in Christ!

We have been spending our time going around enjoying the sights and sound of northern Japan. Our Japanese friends have been so wonderful to us, taking us around and being great hosts! We are very lucky!!

So, in a few weeks we will celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ! As for me and Christina we will be spending Christmas in Japan, I am so excited to spend a white Christmas here! In Australia we always have hot summer Christmas days so this year we are lucky to have a winter Christmas again in Japan!

Although Japan is a non Christian country, we have found that Christmas is becoming increasingly popular amongst the Japanese people more than ever before. Streets all over the country have been set up with illuminations and everywhere you go you see beautifully decorated Christmas trees and Christmas music is played in all the stores, coffee shops and restaurants - even more than in Australia!

In addition, a very big trend here in Japan for Christmas is the Japanese Christmas strawberry short cake. There is a heavy focus on these cakes in the media and people all over Japan are already ordering these cakes for Christmas. Some cakes are even priced as much as $150 dollars!

These cute cakes that sell for 300 yen each [US$3 or so...] and are small versions of the Japanese strawberry shortcake for Christmas time!

Also popular with the Japanese all times of the year is pudding which is pronounced "purin" in Japanese. You can buy these at most department stores and supermarkets. I particulary love the pink bottle tops, very pretty so I had to add take a picture of this!

This is another photo that I had to snap. Whilst strolling through a mall I saw a group of junior high schools students in interesting uniforms. These andriod looking life size dolls are part of a national campaign for school uniforms. An interesting sight to see yet a little eerie as well...

Only in Japan!

Finally after so much walking around and sightseeing today we stepped into a Mr Doughnut store. Mr Doughnuts is as famous as Krispy Kremes in the U.S and offers complimentary refills of coffee for customers and is a great place to have a break, drink a beverage and muse...

Today I chose an ice coffee and a chocolate doughnut sprinkled with honey crisps! Christina chose a hot blend American coffee and a classic iced choc doughnut. Yummy!

So until next update. God bless!

Adventures in the Far East!

2011-12-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone and greetings from Japan! We are having an amazing stay here and getting to do so many things in this land that never ceases to surprise us.

We have been doing a lot of eating here in Japan as the food is not only amazing but so affordable [compared to restaurant prices in Australia, so so cheap!]

Me and Christina are particulary fond of `tan tan ramen'. This is a very spicy noodle soup dish that sets your stomach ablaze and keeps it so warm on cold winter nights. We definitely need it for these cold months here in north Japan where it will start to snow heavily soon where we are staying.

The coffee drinks here in Japan are divine! In Australia I rarely drink coffee but with so many delicious coffee drinks available hot or iced I am finding myself drinking so much coffee!!! My favourite is iced Vienna coffee. It is just iced coffee topped with the most delicious whipped vanilla cream. Beware if you are ever in Japan and you try this drink. It is addictive!

We have also been doing a lot of exploring [spending hours!] at electronic shops checking out the latest technological devices and things here in Japan are definitely ahead of the rest of the world at least 5 years!!!

In addition as we are crazy about anything that is cute we have gone shopping on a number of occassions and bought so many things!!! I think me and Christina have to send some things back home in boxes!!!
I just can`t resist, everything is so cute!!!

We have also been doing a lot of driving and travelling by car to other places in north Japan. The driving experiences here in north Japan is amazing. Having to drive through countless mountain road tunnels and seeing all the beautiful red and yellow Fall trees. Also spending time at roadside service areas that are more like high tech malls that provide Starbucks coffee shops and sell everythting from hot curry, traditional pickles to Hello Kitty souveneirs!

Friends in Christ, please stay tuned for the next blog post of our adventures in Japan! Until next time, God bless!

Teppie [and Christina]

Expose the negative voice in your head!

2011-11-29T06:52:00.000-08:00

Imagine two men sitting in congested traffic during the rush hour. The first man starts to feel trapped, and says to himself “I’m so angry I could scream,” “This is really going to destroy my day,” “Why does this always happen to me?” As a result he feels anxious, angry and frustrated.

The second man though, sees the traffic as an opportunity to relax and put on a new CD. He thinks to himself “I might as well unwind now until the traffic eases,” or “Finally I can stretch my aching neck and relax.” As a result this man feels a sense of inner peace and acceptance.

In both cases, the men faced the identical situation, but the feelings expressed were very different. Why? This is because of internalised monologue or what is mostly referred to as self talk.

If you usually engage in negative self-talk you may be one or more of the following types:

The Worrier:

This type of self talk promotes anxiety by imagining the worst case scenario.

It also tends to overestimate the odds of something bad or embarrassing happening. For instance, [“What if they laugh and stare at me for being fat at the party?”] The worrier also creates grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe happening, [“What if I shake when I’m giving the speech and make a fool of myself?”]

The Perfectionist:

Perfectionist type of self talk promotes chronic stress and burnout.

It generates anxiety by constantly telling you that your efforts are not good enough, that you should have everything under control and that you should be constantly working harder, [“I should always be the best.”] A perfectionist will determine their self worth according to things external to them such as money, achievements and acceptance by others.

The Victim:

The Victim form of self talk plays a big role in creating depression.

The victim holds negative beliefs such as [“I’m hopeless”]. An individual plagued with this type of self talk believes that in some way they are defective or unworthy as human beings. This type of self talk increases the propensity to give up in life, [I’ll never be a success, so what’s the point in trying?”]

The Critic:

This type of self talk promotes low self esteem.

The critic tends to constantly point out your flaws and limitations whenever possible. It jumps on any mistake you make to prove that you’re a failure, whilst ignoring your strengths and positive qualities. A favourite expression of the critic is [“What a disappointment you are!” or “That was stupid of you.”] The critic may be the voice of your critical mother or father, a dreaded teacher, or anyone who wounded you in the past with their criticism.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

12 ways to skyrocket your happiness in life

2011-11-26T05:23:00.000-08:00

1. Watch very little television. Do not let the television become a part of your daily life. Not watching the garbage displayed on television will protect you from being bombarded with fear and negativities.

2. Acknowledge and tap into your higher energy. Bask in this energy. This energy is from God and is already present within you.

3. Don’t allow low energy things or people who are out there in the world bring you down. Refuse to bring yourself down and join into other people’s negative energy - you have nothing to do with other peoples' issues and negativities.

4. Don’t bring the energy of fear into your problem- no amount of fear you have is going to bring solutions to any of the problems you have.

5. Make it your mission not to wallow around in lower energies like misery, hate and self pity.

6. Be happy and enjoy yourself-this is the purpose of life. Don’t let yourself be bombarded with all the reasons why you should unhappy, miserable and depressed.

7. Choose to express yourself and live the way you want to live. Discount and ignore the mockery and criticism of others. The truth you should always remember is that at the end of the day these people will not matter to you and won't be around.

8. Bring high energy to the presence of low energy. This may include bringing hope to someone who is in despair and hopelessness or staying positive in a negative environment.

9. Maintain your connection with God through prayer and meditation. Take time daily to make conscious contact with God through silence.

10. Learn to let go. Know that there’s a higher power working on behalf of you and allow God to work the wrongs out for you.

11. Detach yourself from the outcome of a situation and be independent of the opinion of other people. Cultivating this is a talent and will make your life sweeter.

12. Understand that you are ever alone. God is with you and there is no separation from God’s unconditional love.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

Check out time!

2011-11-14T20:54:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! We had a wonderful overnight stay at the Seasons Hotel in Joetsu, Niigata.

After travelling by car for 4 hours from Tokyo we finally arrived at the hotel exhausted and hungry but soon replenished ourselves with great food, massage and rest.

Joestu is an area known for good skiing and winter sports and there are many resorts here to enjoy a nice winter holiday. We used to live here in the past and it is so great to see all our friends again. Now we are off to spend some time at our friends winter holiday house!

Until next time then!!! Keep you posted with our travel adventures in Japan!

Boarding Singapore Air soon!!!

2011-11-07T16:10:00.000-08:00

Hi friends!

We are getting ready to go to the airport to board our Singapore Air flight to Tokyo, Japan!

We are departing from Melbourne in a few hours and heading towards Singapore for a stop-over then straight to Tokyo where we will be creating more articles, videos for our YouTube channel and a unique blog Travel Diary!

So keep posted dear friends! Our goal is to provide fun content on our travels and on useful self development info!

How to become prosperous overnight

2011-11-03T01:59:00.000-07:00

Go into any bookstore in most countries in the world and you will be literally bombarded with books telling you how to become rich quickly or how to become a millionaire fast. The raw truth is that the book industry caters to the craving of millions of people who have only one thing on their mind: to become rich quick!

Are these books hype or are they real?

The sad reality is that writers will publish sensationalistic books telling people what they want to hear simply to make money. Interestingly enough, the desire the authors have to write these books is the same desire those have who buy them – MONEY!

These books may teach on accumulating wealth and give you ideas, but they also may raise your expectations by giving you rare examples of those who amassed fortunes fast and easy.

Getting rich is a state of mind

Becoming rich requires you to get rid of scarcity thinking. That means you don’t feel there’s only so much to go around. Thinking like this will only make you competitive and jealous of others who succeed. You have to believe that no one can steal what is meant to be yours. When you have a rich state of mind you don’t have to cheat and manipulate others to get the money you want. You have a knowing that what you are doing will attract the wealth you desire.

Live below your standard

People who accumulate wealth are very good at practicing delayed gratification. Delayed gratification means you put off the pleasure of spending in order to save. The truth is you have to learn to respect money and focus on using it to make more. You learn about investments or interest you can earn from putting your money in the bank.

A million dollar habit used by most that became rich was to live below their standard. This means that when you can afford a Ferrari, you buy a Mercedes. Or when you can afford a villa in Spain, you buy an apartment in Spain. You simply don’t spend more than what you earn.

This doesn’t mean you prevent yourself from buying whatever you desire. You just have to make sure that you pay yourself first by putting away enough savings in your emergency bank account, for example 20 percent of your earnings. Spend your money wisely and smartly.

What’s the secret to becoming rich?

Unless you amass a big inheritance quickly, you can only become rich by having an idea or strategy that will succeed, working hard, being patient and overcoming many failures. Keep your eyes on your objective to become rich while using your talents and passion – this way it will be a more pleasurable journey for you. If possible, try to become self employed.

Becoming a successful entrepreneur is a superior way to amass money as opposed to working for someone else. Lastly remember that people have who desired to become rich before you didn’t do it overnight, they had a great idea and turned it into a way to make riches slowly and consistently.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

Dream Believe and Manifest Live Interview...

2011-10-31T06:01:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

We have had a very busy week!

One of the highlights of the week was being interviewed by Faithful Bloggers - a top ranking Christian bloggers directory!

Courtney from http://www.faithfulbloggers.com/ interviewed us on our website mission and we had a great conversation on the character of Christ and how it links to our own personal development and the renewal of our minds.

The podcast will hopefully be available soon to hear!

We will keep you posted!

God bless!

Departure Soon!!!

2011-10-25T02:30:00.000-07:00

Dear friends in Christ - we hope you are all well!

Today we received our new passports - and are very excited as we are flying in a few days from Australia to spend some time in Singapore and Japan!

We used to live in Japan for several years so we are so excited to go back - as it's been 3 years since we've been back.

We will spend several weeks there meeting our friends, working on new articles, finishing our first e-book, getting inspiration and ideas for future projects - and of course having a lot of fun!

We plan to keep you posted with what we're up to - and we'll be posting articles and updates while we are in Asia.

In addition we will be also posting a unique DBM Travel Diary! So stay tuned to share our adventures across the world with us!

We hope you are enjoying our blog posts and resources on our Dream Believe and Manifest website! Thanks to the people across the world who have sent us positive and encouraging emails!

For all those who have emailed about One-Off Coaching we are fully booked, so make sure to subscribe to our newsletter so you can keep informed on available spaces.

Until next time - God keep you and bless you!

xx Christina and Teppie xx

Why can't I manifest what I want in life?

2011-10-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

The self development sham

If you’re on a self development journey, it highly likely you’ve encountered experts advising you on how to manifest or bring your dreams into reality. The problem is that a lot of the time they are all regurgitating the same misleading information.

In reality most of these experts have never tried out the theories they promote, instead they work their way to the top through connections only to turn around and tell followers that they used the law of attraction to succeed.

The truth about manifestation

The truth many don’t want you to know is that manifesting your dreams is not about strictly applying the laws of the universe. In reality most people who have made it to the top didn’t have any concept of laws such as the law of attraction. Despite this, they reached their goals and made themselves a success through intelligent strategy, hard work and faith in themselves.

Rigid formulas don’t manifest - they frustrate

You have to be careful when following advice on manifesting as it may frustrate and exhaust you. For instance, many are instructed that to manifest they have to keep their emotions, feelings, being and thoughts on what they want all the time, even during times they feel down. Unless they do, they won’t attract what they want, but will attract more of what they don’t want. This type of theory is unrealistic.

Psychologists have actually proven that it’s impossible for anyone to control what they think 24 hours a day. This theory is also dangerous as it encourages perfectionism, a trait that leads to chronic stress, exhaustion and burnout.

Jesus also did not preach these types of formulas when He was on the earth. He talked about planting seeds and harvest time when you reap what you have sown [either it being actions or thoughts], however He never instructed humanity to focus on the rigid rules the 'new age' world promotes.

Do I create what I focus on?

You may be focusing on marrying a rich husband or becoming the richest man in your neighbourhood, but the vibrational energy from these thoughts alone won’t bring it to you. Nor will visualisation alone bring you what you want. You have to act upon your thoughts or you’ll be just a professional dreamer.

If you sit there trying to perfect your thoughts and focus, the only thing you will reap is frustration because it’s impossible to achieve perfect focus and control of thoughts. You’re only human!

Am I a flawed creation?

In addition many people have commented that when they failed to manifest their dreams like others, they felt inferior or flawed in their abilities to attract/get what they want. The truth is that you aren’t a defective human because you don’t manifest at the same pace of others. Don’t compare yourself to others, knowing that everyone has their own timing and journey.

If you are not manifesting what you want, you may be blocking it or may not completely be ready for it to come into your life right now. Or God may be bringing something better that will exceed your expectations, so you may have to wait a little more.

The truth is that people cannot just attract things like magnets by thinking about them or by simply requesting them from the 'universe'. This is an unrealistic expectation as we were not created as Jeanies. The power of thoughts is not so simple!

Jesus told us to pray and ask repeatedly at the throne of God. This is a process of two way communication between you and God - and not what the world propagates when it advises for people to simply 'request' things.

The “How” is up to you and God

The funny thing is that many experts tell followers that they shouldn’t figure out how to get what they want through planning as the “how” is up to the 'universe'. They tell you that events and people will somehow attract themselves to you and pave the way for good to come to you.

This unfortunately puts you in a state of passivity and makes you nothing but a dreamer. The truth is God will help you through opening doors, leading people to you and by giving you divine guidance, but He puts the responsibility in your hands.

When you connect and partner with our creator God, He helps make a way to bring your dreams to pass - provided you co-operate. If you want to comb your hair, God can't comb it for you! Know that you are the one who has to take the action. As the bible says "Faith without works is dead".

Are my beliefs going to get in my way?

Yes it is important to work on your beliefs towards yourself and towards success. This will support you in your journey towards success. But know that negative people who have toxic thoughts can succeed just as much as a person with healthy beliefs. Negative people may whine and complain along the way and still strive towards what they want to finally succeed. Yet they didn’t sit around trying to abide by any law or place unrealistic demands to think positively 24 hours a day.

Working on eliminating toxic thoughts is recommended for an optimum life and mental state, and God desires us to renew our mind. Yet if you want to manifest, it’s wise to focus your energies on making the right plans, connecting with God and taking the right actions to get what you want. Don’t wait to be perfect to get what you want. Life is too short!

So do I avoid the spiritual side to manifesting all together?

No. God desires all people to succeed. They say that God puts desire in people because they are actually His desires of what He wants them to achieve. God isn’t rigid, if you look closely you can see that He allows all types of people to succeed – He doesn’t stop them if they haven’t focused on what they wanted perfectly! The self development hype out there is not what God, the creator of this universe follows.

Manifestation requires a comprehensive plan

Form a holistic plan for manifesting your dreams, this may include prayer, visualisation, affirmations, hope, determination, hard work, planning, faith in God and yourself and not forgetting action. In addition you need to develop a different interpretation of failure. Success includes failure, so don’t take it personally or as a sign to give up. See it as something telling you to learn what you shouldn’t do the next time you try.

If you take this approach in due time you will manifest what you want. Remember everybody has different timing, so never feel like a faulty human being and give up hope. The God of this universe is on your side and wants you to succeed as much as you do yourself. Know that if you keep trying and trying, you will surely manifest what you want!

Video: How to get overcome bad times in life

2011-10-22T03:36:00.000-07:00

This video will be a great resource and help for you if you are currently facing difficult times. We created and wrote this video script based on a lot of research and wisdom from the bible. Personal experiences in life have also inspired us to help others face dark times. This video teaches a comprehensive plan for those who are desperate to have victory over tragedy, grief, personal loss or heartbreak.

This video is a must see for those who are facing hard times. We hope it is a source of strength and inspiration. God bless.

5 telltale signs that a dream is for you!

2011-10-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

Sometimes people make the mistake of creating goals they think will make them happy. It’s not uncommon for some people to reach the top of the mountain, and still feel unsatisfied with life.

To help you avoid this, read the 5 telltale signs below. These signs help you recognise a true dream and help you see if you’re on the right path.

1. Are you excited?

Your energy and enthusiasm should be sky high when thinking and talking about your dream. These feelings are a sign that you are on a genuine path to your desire. When God puts a dream in your heart, it makes you wake up in the morning with hope and sometimes keeps you awake at night with anticipation! The key is that this dream is a tugboat pulling you along in life – even in the difficult times.

2. Does it flood your mind?

Know this dream is for you if you find yourself thinking about all day. They say that a real dream is one that stays in your mind through the good and bad times. So when your dream sticks on your mind through thick and thin – it’s a sign that it’s meant to be. If it’s not meant to be, it will be there for a season and then fade away. In addition thinking about your dream constantly is a bonus, as it will open up your creativity to search for better ways to get whatever it is you want faster.

3. Signs

You may receive signals or messages symbolising that your dream is manoeuvring you in the right direction. This may be God himself - trying to tell you that He wants you to have this. The point is to pay attention to signs of all sorts, including the positively spoken words of other people around you.

4. Knowing

When a certain dream is for you, you will feel and know it’s right in your bones. This is all a part of your intuition, so foster it. Sometimes your intuition will contradict the negativity in your mind, but don’t let your dream go.

Even if this dream attracts the criticism or mockery of others, deep down inside you will know if it’s right for you and that God desires it for you. Know that dreams don’t come to you in fear, so when it feels right just take the first step in faith – believing what you want was destined for you.

5. Connections

Things happen for a reason. When your time comes to create something extraordinary, all the right events and people start to come out of the woodwork. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your life will be easy and perfect.

The truth is that some of your biggest dreams will be born during the dark times of life. This is what hope is all about. When things start to open up for you, know it is a sign that God is preparing you to make this dream a reality!

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

New Video! - 7 easy steps to achieving anything

2011-10-15T00:47:00.000-07:00

Watch our latest video as part of our growing 'Dream Believe and Manifest TV' Youtube channel! This video gives you an easy 7 step method you can use to help you achieve what you want more effectively.

Cheers!
Christina and Teppie

5 smart signs to expose your date's true nature!

2011-10-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

Do you dream to find a compatible partner? Have you searched everywhere, been on dozens of useless dates and had meaningless relationships only to feel unfulfilled and alone again? You’re not the only one; there are so many people everywhere in this frustrating position in life.

The tricky thing about dating is that it’s very hard to see what type of person you’re associating with. Going out for dinner and an ice cream sundae on a handful of occasions doesn’t tell you whether or not this person is compatible for you. Thankfully there are some keys you should know to help you on your dates and understand the character of your date more.

Below are 5 smart keys to help you:

1. Ask intelligent probing questions on your date. Make sure you don’t act like a police officer on an interrogation! Just casually slip intelligent questions into the conversation. Ask the type of questions that will help you understand their deepest desires and mission in life. Are they dreaming to relocate to another country, travel the world for a year? This information will give you a lot of clues about your date.

2. Go by your intuition. How do you feel around them? What type of energy do you feel? Trust you sixth sense which is called by many the wisdom of God and let it help you sus your date out.

3. Move beyond external appearances and physical attraction. You may be so impressed on what they are on the outside-but does it match their inside? It's so common to want to rush into a relationship commitment with a date you find gorgeous. Watch out not to get overly preoccupied about how good your date looks. Slow down! Look into their character and move past the external.

4. How do they treat the opposite sex in front of you? You know a person by their reactions. Are they sleazy, flirty to the opposite sex or respectable? This will give you insight into their character. One girl understood that her date was always flirting onto the waitresses in front of her. She ignored this and continued to date him but soon enough she understood that his flirting was getting on her nerves, belittling her. She decided to move on.

5. Were they physically demanding? Did they initiate sex with you on the first date? If they didn’t bother to get to know you as a person then this can give you clues that maybe this person may only be interested in you for a fling and a good time-not for a serious relationship.

Through following these tips you can understand a little more of what type of person your date really is and start to understand the rate of your compatibility with your date. Compatibility is the real measure of whether you both can develop a lasting relationship. Knowing this will save you a lot of wasted time with the wrong person, potential heart break and a lot of frustration down the track.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

New articles [Christian Self Help - Self Development]

2011-10-08T04:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

We hope you're having a great weekend wherever in the world you are..

At Dream Believe and Manifest, we've been very busy recently with email coaching clients and working with new changes on our blog and website. We have changed the front page of our website and have included a video corner where we will be showcasing current and random videos from our YouTube channel.

Today we were stocking up on office supplies as we are researching and writing new articles connected to uplifting and encouraging Christians.

We are happy as our inbox was full of nice comments about our articles! Feel free to contact us if you have a query on any topic related to the Christian walk and self help/self development..

God bless

Christina and Teppie

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How to handle an enemy at work

2011-10-08T02:07:00.000-07:00

Do you have someone at work that is against you and hates you for no reason at all? Is the person that hates you at work your boss or supervisor? Does this person make you hate going to work everyday and make you want to quit your job?

This report will help you understand the reasons why people hate you what steps you can take to deal with an enemy at work.

Get into the enemy’s mind –the psychology of hate

How can you deal with someone who hates you in a work environment? First of all you have to understand why this person hates you for no reason at all.

The emotion of hatred is experienced by people when they fear or are threatened by something. A very popular saying is “you fear what you hate” and this is a very suitable saying for this situation. The emotion of hatred is used by people to keep a potential threat to their well being away from them.

Start to understand that the enemy at your work is experiencing feelings of hate towards you because they are scared and threatened when you’re around. High chances are that your enemy may be extremely jealous of you and feel insecure and inferior in your presence.

How to deal with your workplace enemy

As explained above, there are several key reasons why a workmate may recognise you as a threat and hate you. The most important thing though is to learn how to deal with these people correctly.

If you decide to confront your enemy and ask them why they hate you they would certainly deny it to your face and end up making you look foolish! If your workmate hates you because they are jealous of you they will never swallow their pride and admit to having a problem with you. So it may be wise not to even waste your time and confront them about it.

Keep low in front of your enemy

This by all means doesn’t mean that you should cower when you encounter someone who hates you at work! But to get it easy at work it’s best you don’t deliberately spur on your enemy and challenge them.

Don’t try to show your enemy how great or ambitious you are- you will only seem like a bigger threat to them. As a result they may be compelled to literally bring out their biggest guns on you.

Be street smart

Like in prisons, the inmates that want to have an easy ride keep to themselves, don’t get involved in fights and keep low. A prison may seem like an extreme example but it will help prove the point that it is wiser to keep at low range in front of your enemy instead of getting yourself into needless trouble- especially if your enemy is your boss!

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

How to deal with boredom

2011-10-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

Are you dissatisfied with what life offers you? Do you feel placid, hard to please and sick of the humdrum existence of life? Do you desire to live a life that’s exciting, new and full of fun and adventure?

The truth is that most people around the world do much the same thing every day. They get up, go to work, come home and eat dinner, watch some television and then go to bed. Sadly, for so many people that’s all life offers them. With such monotony it’s easy to understand why so many people are literally bored to death with their lives!

The message of boredom

Boredom is a signal sent by your subconscious mind to motivate you to take a certain action. It’s a sign that you haven’t been feeding your curiosity drive that all humans have. Unfortunately people respond to this message by just sitting on their sofa and watch television, but this is just counterfeit excitement and you will soon discover that you are bored again! To get rid of boredom in your life you have to take certain specific actions.

How to stop feeling bored

To escape the boredom rut it is really important for you that you keep feeding your curiosity drive. You will never be happy with just a monotonous life, no one will. So to be truly happy, you must keep growing, keep learning and keep expanding your horizons. When you find yourself overwhelmed with the boredom of life, it is time you step out of your comfort zone and do things that you haven’t done before. Here are some was to break the boredom rut in your life:

• Change your lifestyle. Know what makes you happy and incorporate that into your life. Life is too short to waste on doing things that give you no enjoyment and happiness. Understand what drives you and spend your time doing those things. This will take away feelings of boredom absolutely!

• Have a life purpose and an exciting vision for your life. Remember it is the will of God for all of His children to prosper; but it is ultimately up to you to get up and make the first move to get God's will for your life into action. So chase after your vision with you whole heart. When you are working towards something that is dear and close to your heart, you will never be bored about life because the future that you are working towards will seem so exciting.

• Affiliate with people that you want to become like. Stop hanging out with people who gossip and do nothing with their lives. Get into circles of people who are successful and going somewhere! By joining a country club for example, there will be many opportunities to meet exciting new people.

• Work hard towards creating the life of your dreams. Create goals that you are pumped about! This is one of the best ways to kill your boredom. Once you have goals that keep you excited about life and motivated, you will have a reason for living. You won’t have the time to be bored anymore because you will be so busy accomplishing your dreams!

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

What to do when people criticize and mock you

2011-10-06T02:54:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

Everyone who is destined to succeed in life will at some time be the subject of mockery or criticism. If you are now facing this type of abuse from people, either in your personal circle or at work, it’s valuable insight to know exactly why it’s happening so you can deal with it wisely.

Mockery and criticism is a good sign

When people mock, criticise and laugh in your face know that you are on the road to success. Josef von Sternberg once quoted “the only way to succeed is to make others hate you.” In reality, the cruel behaviour they throw at you is indicative that you are doing well in life or that you’re disheartening them in some way. If that was not the case, they would not bother with you! It is that you are a personal threat to them that propels them to hunt you down.

If you look at the earthly life of Jesus, he was constantly harassed by the Pharisees. They were hunting Him down, publicly insulting Him and looking for an opportunity to kill Him because they were threatened and jealous of His power and influence over people.

Hold your head up high

Refuse to see such people as big, whilst feeling small within. Thinking you’re their victim will do nothing but put you in a powerless position. These types of people are too cowardly to venture out of their comfort zones and allow their fears to keep them from chasing their dreams.

The only objective mockers and critics have is to stop you from moving to greatness. So endure the humiliation of mockery and criticism. Your job is rise above it and dare to do what is right in fulfilling your destiny.

Play deaf and blind

Don’t hear the criticism. Don’t focus on the disapproving looks of others. Reproaches should pass by you without a care. Be as stubborn as a mule; the mule is a stubborn self centred animal who is only concerned with his own interests.

Don’t try to prove yourself to a small fry!

Don’t waste your energy in trying to prove yourself to annoying negative people who constantly undermine your efforts. Instead focus your eyes on leaping to the top and gaining the support of the those who can help you on your journey.

Thrive on their negativity

When others tell you that you can’t do this, you can’t do that or that you’re a loser – use their negative energy plus the negative energy you feel regarding the mockery and criticism to push you to create an emotion explosive enough to support and realise your dreams. As the well know saying tells us; success is the sweetest revenge!

Expose and eliminate

When people mock and criticise you to your face, be privileged to know where they stand. And as for those who do it behind your back, be vigilant. An enemy un-confronted becomes stronger, so discern this type of person and dispose of them as soon as you can. If you have no choice but to be exposed to such people, kill off the relationship or develop ways of avoiding them.

Be unstoppable

Finally remember that mockery and criticism cannot stop an idea or a dream that will succeed. Jesus wasn't stopped by the Pharisees, so emulate His example. Your job is to do ignore these people, partner with God and do what you have to do by ruthlessly pursuing your objectives. As Baltasa quoted “Be content to act and leave the talking to others.”

How to overcome a fall or tragedy in life

2011-10-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

- Are you going through one of the most darkest times of your life?

- Have you lost everything because of the misfortune that has happened to you?

- Were you recently cheated on or dumped by someone who meant the world to you?

- Do you know how it feels to lose your sense of dignity and face the sniggers and laughs of those around you?

- Do you feel like your life is over and it's not worth living?

Resilience: the secret to overcoming a fall

Everyone can identify with loss of some kind. Either it be power, success, love or the respect of others, loss can be difficult to bounce back from.

Yet there are certain individuals who are able to gather the mental strength to come back from any setback they face in life. These are the type of individuals who find themselves at the bottom at some time in their lives, yet they are able to fight for what they want and rise to the top.

If you study peak performance athletes, you will see that they have mentally cultivated a type of resilience that refuses to give up after defeat or failure. Successful athletes such as Andre Agassi, Pele and Roger Federer reached the top of their game simply because they rose up and refused to give up in the face of defeat.

How do I get back up when I’m down?

Remember the story of the phoenix

The tale of the phoenix describes a magic bird that lives for several hundred years before burning itself. The wonder of the tale is the phoenix is later born again from its very ashes.

The logic of this tale is to never see a fall as permanent. Ironically, it was the total annihilation of the phoenix that led to its amazing resurrection.

Imitate the phoenix by deciding to resurrect from the setbacks, loss and defeat you are facing. According to most spiritual philosophies including Christianity, a great fall in life signifies an even greater rise.

Jesus stated in John 12:24 that "unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." The message here is that death, tragedy and loss can lead to rebirth and renewal.

Begin to see whatever fall that has been sent to you as an opportunity to rise to the top tougher, smarter and more resilient than ever!

Victory comes to those who endure and persist to the end

You are not alone -know that all people will at some time fall in life. Give yourself generous time to cultivate yourself after you fall. Grow in self awareness and learn from what happened and how it can mentally strengthen you as a person.

Andre Agassi, one of the world’s most successful tennis players, fell miserably from the top ten to number 1000. Despite falling from the glamorous and prestigious top 10 group, he stood his ground and faced public embarrassment and scrutiny only to rise once again and claim the number one title in tennis. Agassi was patient with himself and gathered the strength to endure that time of self cultivation.

Jesus knows how it feels when life falls apart. He was spat on, rejected, abandoned by His friends, lied about, beaten and unjustly hung on a cross a convicted felon - yet He didn't give up. If you refuse to give up and choose to persist to the end like Jesus, success will also be yours.

Keep on focusing on your dreams

Despite your fall, never lose sight of what you want in life. Use your dreams as a tugboat that pulls you along in life. Remember that no matter what has or is happening, God promises in the bible to turn everything around for good. He has a plan for your life and if you co-operate it will come to pass.

Focusing on the dreams God puts in your heart will fill you with the hope that your future will be brighter than today. Get up and get to work on your dreams! You must do what you must in spite of what you may be feeling.

Research has found that individuals who are living the life they want and are in control of what they are doing, are more likely to feel strong and resilient.

How much do you want it?

Ask yourself “Do I want to get back up again?” If the answer is yes, how much are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to sacrifice your ego or your pride? Or are you willing to sacrifice time and energy to start all over from the beginning?

For you to be victorious, you have to be willing to go the extra mile. Whilst others give up and indulge in self pity, make it your goal to give everything you have to bounce back again.

Never forget your achievements and successes

Give yourself encouragement by reminding yourself of the things that made you feel successful in life. Get a pen and paper and record the events or situations that you consider your greatest achievements and successes.

Try visualising them in your mind for a few moments and feel the positive shift in your mood. Don’t throw your life away! Believe in yourself and believe that you can succeed and achieve great things again. Have faith in yourself and in God! God is a god of restoration and victory - He knows no failure so trust Him with your life!

See failure differently

The truth is that the fear of failure ranks as one the top fears of mankind. The fear of failure begins in early childhood and is the result of criticism and punishment given to children when trying something new.

The shouts, physical punishment and the withholding of love that children receive after doing something their parents disapproved of makes them feel scared and insecure.

Children in these situations then grow into adults who hold themselves back from doing what they truly want and living the life of their dreams. They sell themselves short, quit before even trying and use their reasoning ability to create reasons why they can’t and why the things they want are impossible to get.

The reality is that most people perceive a fall such as financial loss, getting dumped, humiliated or losing a job as failure. This type of attitude stems from what psychologists refer to as low frustration tolerance; it only leads to passivity and a victim mentality in life.

Before we can succeed, we must clearly understand that success means change and the risk of failure. See failure as a learning experience sent to make you greater. A famous Chinese saying describes that “One who is skilled in defeat shall never see destruction.” Truly, defeat is the mother of success if you learn from it.

Detach yourself from the sniggers and judgments of others

Unfortunately most of us have been taught from either our parents or society that the highest prize of the world is the approval of others. However when we attach ourselves to the approval and good opinion of others people, fear will overtake us. The Bible warns us clearly, “The fear of man is a snare.” Being nice for the sake of gaining the approval of others can be very costly.

Even if you feel embarrassed and ashamed for your fall, lift your head up high. You’re only human and so are they! So don’t be concerned about their opinions – simply let go and detach from their judgements, criticism and disapproval of you.

Become thick skinned

Accept that “ordinary” people around you may gloat when you fall. Josef von Sternberg once quoted “the only way to succeed is to make others hate you.” In other words, the unkind reception you may be getting from others is indicative that you are on the right path in life – if this were not true, why would they waste their time?

Know that the fall and failure of those who don’t try anything great is commonplace and comfortably private. Ordinary people who are “one of the herd” don’t usually attract a lot of attention when they fall. Yet the fall of those who go after their dreams and attempt extraordinary accomplishments is usually accompanied by sniggers and sighs of satisfaction from ordinary failures that haven’t either the courage or strength to go after their dreams.

Turn gloating and mockery around to serve you

If others have seen your fall and have responded with sighs of satisfaction, mockery and acts of gloating; ponder on it for a moment... I am sure you feel hurt and angry at the level of cold-heartedness you have received.

The beauty is that you can use all the slaps in the face, the gloating, the betrayal and the mockery of others, plus the negative energy you feel regarding it, to create an emotion explosive enough to support and realise your dreams.

It is well know that God sometimes allows an enemy into your life in order for Him to promote you to a higher level in life.

Vent out your agony and grief

Express the painful emotions you are feeling – don’t try to suppress them as this will intensify your stress. Do not completely sink into passivity and hopelessness though. If you find it difficult to express your pain, use evocative or emotive music to release your repressed feelings. The music will also help promote a state of inner peace and serenity.

Get closer to God

Pray or meditate to obtain assistance to deal with your suffering. The purpose of this process is to develop greater trust and belief in God. The key to getting in touch with God, is to unburden yourself by relinquishing [giving up] some of your control of the situation and exercise a willingness to trust. As Ghandi said “divine guidance comes when the horizon is the blackest.”

Let the dark night pass

After you have done what is humanly possible to overcome your situation and it brings you to no avail – brace yourself with the spirit of endurance - let the dark night pass. Know that your life is in the hands of God. Give the situation over to Him. Give up struggling and to stop trying to correct the situation.

Endure by enduring. Endurance is never an easy task, but it’s essential to overcoming dark times. Constantly affirm to yourself “this too shall pass,” and remember that dark moments don’t last forever.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

Why do I care about what others think?

2011-10-06T01:13:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

Do you constantly need the praise of others to feel good?
Would you feel crushed if someone criticised you about the way you look?
Are you sick of constantly conforming to what others expect - only to ignore what you truly want?
Do you spend hours thinking and stressing over what others think about you?
Do you fear people's opinion more than you fear God?

The need for approval

All people need approval – this is a very common need. The truth is that most people like to fit in and be appreciated for what they are – that’s what socialisation is all about and God created life that way. Yet when someone’s whole happiness is dependent upon being approved of others – that’s when things start to go wrong.

Why do I care about what others think?

Caring about what other people’s opinion excessively is called approval addiction. Approval addiction or the excessive need for approval usually comes from having an inferiority complex or an inner sense of being flawed or unworthy. The roots of this usually are formed during childhood.

The danger of approval addiction

When you have an excessive need for approval, you are very sensitive to the praise or criticism of other people. You will be encouraged by their praise or compliments, but you will become addicted to it to feel good about yourself and function well. As a result your happiness will be dependent on how you feel others see you.

If you are admired by your friends you will feel good and happy [at least in the short term.] If you are criticised at work, you probably will collapse in a heap. The opinions, whims and negative remarks of others are capable of crushing you immediately – and leave you feeling stressed for days. Even looks from others may cause psychological distress.

Approval addiction and relationships

People with a strong need for approval require constant reassurance in romantic relationships. As a result they become very clingy to their partners. If they are dumped or rejected they interpret it as proof that they are worthless. Unless they deal with their approval addiction, they will continue feeling worthless in all the relationships they make.

How can I get over approval addiction?

The key to getting over approval addiction is firstly to believe that you are a worthy human being. God created you and put bluntly, God doesn’t make junk. Know that you are not a flawed creation. If you’re on the earth then you’re here for a purpose.

Look to yourself and to God – not to others!

Your value and worth can only be determined by you and God. Start to give yourself the respect and admiration you deserve, instead of searching for it from others. Know that if you keep searching for external approval, your happiness will waver like a yo-yo. You will be miserable on the days others don’t give you approval and only happy on the days they do.

Know that God supports and approves of you and would continue to do so even if the whole world was to turn against you! He created you, finds worth in you and loves you.

Buffer yourself from criticism

When someone doesn’t like you or criticises you, ask yourself “Do I really need their approval in order to be happy?” If people criticise you or rejects you say “So what if they don’t approve of me, God approves of me. Others like me and I like myself. So what if I (made a stupid mistake) that doesn’t mean I’m worthless...It just means that I (made a stupid mistake.”)

Don’t be a beggar - you are a child of the Most High!

Lastly, know that you will never be able to please everyone or get everyone’s approval. No-one will. So learn to accept that. Understand that if you work on improving and approving of yourself then you won’t be in need of the approval of others. If you don’t, the danger is you will be living your life like a beggar, at the mercy of other’s approval. This is not a healthy or happy way to live.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

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How to stop obsessive negative thoughts

2011-10-06T00:25:00.000-07:00

By Christina Chartomatsidis

We have all been taught how powerful our thoughts are and that in order to succeed we need to exert perfect mental control. This sensationalised concept has been promoted in thousands of self development books and programs.

Proponents of this concept tell us that your negative thoughts have to be eliminated as they will come true. This only intensifies our fear of uncontrolled negative thoughts.

Can I manifest every thought that I think?

People have over 4,000 thoughts during waking hours of any given day. The truth is you do not have the power to manifest every thought you think. In addition, the theory of exercising complete control of our emotions and thoughts has not been proven.

Throughout the dozens of studies published on thought control, psychologists have concluded that it is almost impossible for human beings to achieve perfect suppression of any un-wanted thoughts, images, or impulses, even for a few minutes! The truth is that no-one has 100% control of their thoughts, and those who tell you that you can are bogus.

The paradox of mental control

Dr. Daniel Wegner [1994] of Harvard University developed the “white bear” experiment to investigate our ability to control unwanted thoughts. He found that the paradox of mental control is that the harder people try to control a thought, the more difficulty they have with it.

Deliberate control or suppression of thoughts can actually cause more preoccupation with unwanted thoughts, so unwanted thoughts come back with a vengeance! A vicious cycle can develop when a person tries harder and harder to control negative thoughts.

Can my negative thoughts come true?

It is true that thinking about an action is often the first step in engaging in that action. However, it is not true that having a thought about an action always leads to that action. There are numerous factors that determine whether or not you act upon a thought.

Many in the New Age and self-development industries tell the world that thoughts have an almost immediate ability to manifest. Because of this theory, people learn to fear the consequences of failing to control their thoughts. The power of thinking is not so simple though!

So what do you do when a negative thought doesn’t stop playing in your mind?

1. Abandon beliefs that your negative thoughts have to be controlled because they’ll come true.

Begin to understand the truth that your most dreaded and negative thoughts can’t manifest simply because they entered your mind.

2. Acknowledge that you do not have the capability to control your thoughts 100%.

Don’t try to control every negative that enters your mind. Struggling with negative thoughts will require a lot of effort and energy – this will burn you out.

3. Ignore the negative thought and let it go.

The less you control the thought, the more quickly it will spontaneously fade. Don’t attach yourself to the thought. Let go. You can also give it over to God through a short prayer such as "God, I give this negative thought over to You and choose to believe the truth about who I am in Christ".

4. Challenge the negative thought that comes to your mind.

Ask yourself “What evidence is there to prove this thought 100% true?” “Is this thought a bit too extreme?” Expose the lack of logic in this thought.

We are told in Philippians 4:8 to think about whatever is true, noble, right, honourable, pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy and admirable. Use Philippians 4:8 as a thought criteria, so when the thought you have doesn't measure up, reject it and keep challenging it with the truth and the Word of God.

5. Be kind to yourself.

It’s been proven that it’s harder to control your thoughts when you are in an
anxious or depressed mood and have too much stress or time pressure. Be prepared to understand that during these times it may be more difficult to keep unwanted thoughts away.

The enemy usually attacks us when we are going through wilderness times or times when we are trying to change for the better, so it's recommended you stay close to God as you are most vulnerable to deception. Also regular prayer can help empower you and give you a sense of control during a time when your thoughts are out of control.

Taking these steps is the most proven way to deal with negative thoughts. Having a general positive mental attitude should be your goal. However you are only human, so don’t place too much stress and expectation on exercising 100% mental control. This will save you a lot of distress in the long term.

Dream Believe and Manifest.com is a Christian personal development resource that offers self development enthusiasts access to a variety of information including articles, videos, personal development products and coaching. Dream Believe and Manifest.com covers everything from understanding yourself and others to spirituality, health, relationships and success. Follow us on our interesting and unique blog and become our friends on Twitter and Facebook. Dream Believe and Manifest – Your resource for personal development!

How to make a comeback after getting dumped

2011-10-05T02:43:00.000-07:00

Have you been thrown out like a piece of garbage by a person you loved so much? Has the rejection and cruel treatment you’ve received from your ex destroyed your life, sense of self esteem and self worth? Do you sometimes feel that life is not worth living anymore?

It’s normal to feel rotten after being dumped

You shouldn’t think that you’re the only one feeling terrible after getting dumped. It’s so common for people to feel bad and experience so much pain and despair. It’s a major event in people’s lives.

Getting dumped has the potential to be such a destructive, sorrowful event in someone’s life. In extreme cases getting dumped can be so catastrophic that for some people it may drive them to self harm or to suicide.

Some people use their pain to make a comeback

In this world there have been many abandoned and dumped people in relationships. Some allowed the rejection to destroy their self esteem, self worth and their lives, but others managed to allow the pain to transform and advance their lives. These individuals were not superheroes; they were normal people just like you and me.

For you to make a comeback after getting dumped doesn’t mean you have to ignore your loss or have no feelings of pain. Even the people who made a comeback still had to endure all the suffering and went through all the pain and loss of getting dumped. They literally endured all the slaps but finally they became victorious!

Your pain is an invitation for you to discover your potential

You may be surprised to discover that the pain and loss you have suffered as a result of getting dumped can be the God's way of pushing you to explore and actualise an unrealized potential in your life. Getting dumped can be transformed into an opportunity for you to revolutionise yourself.

Your untapped potential may be in connection with your intellectual development, mental development or and spiritual growth. Getting close to God in your black moments in life can provide a powerful way for achieving inner security, strength, a transformed identity and peace of mind. The question is how will you respond to this invitation?

How does someone make a comeback after getting dumped?

If you are determined to turn your pain around and make a comeback after getting dumped, then there are several points you need to know and act upon. Below are the keys that you should devote to following to assist you in making a comeback:

Revolutionise your mind

Making a comeback after getting dumped begins in your mind. You have to cultivate yourself to become mentally stronger from where you fell. Hoping that your ex will come back will only reinforce a false belief that you will be together again and this will keep you hooked instead of getting on with your life.

It’s important to your happiness that you realize you can never get your ex back and be like before they dumped you. Giving up hope will eventually make you feel better and is a necessary step to your comeback.

Know that sometimes God takes people away from you or allows people to leave your life because they are not beneficial to you or because they are a negative influence. What may seem to be painful may actually be God's way of improving your life in the long term and/or a way for Him to clean you out for a new partner who will treat you better.

Transformation into a stronger person

Your aim after getting dumped should instead be to become the type of person that is self reliant, in control of your own life and who values and believes in yourself. Learn to be your own best friend instead of waiting for a romantic partner to be it. Importantly, you have to be the type of person who, no matter what, never allows anyone to make you feel inferior.

By working on strengthening your feelings of self worth, self esteem and self confidence you will be able to help yourself mentally make a comeback. One way to do this is to start to recognise and fix your mistaken beliefs about yourself and cultivate a healthier, stronger self identity.

Reading about what the Word of God says about you is a powerful thing. The bible says we are the beloved children of God and more than conquerers, so meditating upon scripture that talks about who you are in Christ can help you transform your mind.

Go through the black door to reach your potential

If you see yourself as inadequate because of what has happened to you, you’ll tend to carry around this destructive way of thinking in your other relationships until you deal with it. So endeavour to partner with God to help you deal with all your baggage, hidden fears and issues. Only by looking your fears in the face will you be able to realise and develop your own strength of character.

Ask yourself some powerful questions that will help you come to terms with what has happened. The answers to these questions will hold a link and mentally prepare you for your comeback.

How do you think you got to this point of being dumped?
Why did you let the person that dumped you make you feel so low and unworthy?
What unfair treatment did you tolerate during the relationship by your partner? Do you think that by selling yourself short at times this contributed to you getting dumped?
What do you have to do to become the type of person that will never let anyone hurt you again?

Transform yourself physically

It is common for many people to neglect to take care of their physical appearance during a relationship. When they got dumped by their partner not only did they find themselves in a mess emotionally but also physically worse off than they were before the relationship. Has the same happened to you?
It’s time for you to make a physical comeback!

Whether you need to revolutionise your clothes style or hair, lose weight or build muscle, take time and work hard on your body image to create the new improved you. You don’t want others and especially your ex to see you after some time looking physically worse off; you want them to rub their eyes in disbelief when they finally see you again- looking more gorgeous than ever!

This revamp will make you feel so much better about yourself and your self-esteem. You’ll feel more desirable and confident to attract a new special person in your life and enjoy a new and a better relationship than your last one.

Develop mystery, interest and intrigue

Before you make your debut make sure that you have given yourself enough time to work on your mental and physical comeback. Be 100 per cent ready for your comeback and don’t be in a hurry to make your comeback appearance. Give yourself lots of time to grow, develop and heal.

Giving yourself time is good as it also generates mystery around you and your life. Your ex will wonder very much about you- even if they did originally dump you, they will get a renewed sense of interest in you. By this time you probably won’t be caring about their approval like you used to!

Hopefully by creating a lot of space between you and your ex, you will build up for yourself a new better reputation than the one you had before with them. Remember-your sweetest revenge to your ex is to live well and want nothing back from them.

It’s finally your time to make your debut

It’s natural to want to make a reconnection with your ex to show them the new you that you’re proud of. Remember to only reconnect with your ex when you’re feeling good about yourself, when your life is in control and when you no longer have anxiety and hate when you think about your ex.

You must be detached and unhooked to your ex when you make your debut, otherwise they will still have the power to hurt and affect you. The reconnection is your show and you are the one who has to run it. For you, the reconnection can be your chance to regain a lot of lost self respect. So expect and demand it.

Show your ex that this new you has been inside you of all along, just waiting to come out and finally show the world. Ironically, you may find that your ex will wonder why they ever doubted and dumped you in the first place.

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