DrewTech

Apple: It's not the product that puts me off, its the people.

2012-03-07T23:44:00.001-08:00

As a member of the tech community, I recently came into contact with a representative of Apple products. The purpose of a representative of his nature is to drive product awareness and knowledge, to increase sales. In my experience the typical interaction is pleasant... A few questions about how their product is doing, what... if any, concerns you may have about the device(s), and a quick overview of the brand's highlights.

So why am I writing this?

With the Apple representative(and lets be clear... by no means am I surprised), there was not a moment of pleasantry, promotion, or mutual interaction. For 30 minutes an interrogation ensued. "Why aren't you recommending the iPhone more? It makes you alot of money(and with the amount of back end Apple requires for the privilege of their device, my paycheck has decreased since its launch) ...tell me any objections you have." Not that he was listening to any objections brought forth. The smugness in the air was palpable and suffocating, leaving no room for conversation. Question after question led to role-play situations where no individual but the "Apple" himself was correct... No matter the topic. No matter the question. No matter the answer.

After talking with a co-worker of mine for 10 minutes, the representative uncovered that, my colleague does not recommend the iPhone over other products to the "techy" group. Post awkward silence, the rep asked my colleague to give his pitch to a tech savvy individual as to why other products were better. The pitch was presented, valid points were stated, and in turn, the rep was asked to give his opposing pitch. Fair? Of course... we were open to his pitch and willing to let him persuade us.

30 seconds of silence later

"I lost my train of thought."

Another 30 seconds passed.

"I, uhhh, can't remember what I was going to say, give me a moment."

A final 30 seconds went by.

"I don't know what to say, but I would love to speak with you at a later time about this topic. If you would like to give me a call to set up a time when we can go over the specifics of what I would like to say, I would be happy to spend some time reviewing it with you."

For the entirety of our interaction to that point, this gentleman had ridiculed our every word, told us we were wrong, that we needed to do better promoting the most popular phone in the world, that no competing product we use or promote has a benefit to it, and continuously put us on the spot to explain our position. And finally, after this exhausting and awkward exchange was over we replied in all fairness asking why his product was better...

NOT ONE WORD. The same representative that KNEW all other products were inferior, could not mutter a single syllable as to why his product reigned supreme. When asked in turn to do exactly what he asked of us, he froze. A direct employee of Apple, paid to promote the features and advantages of their devices failed to come up with a compelling argument, or any argument at all. The same man willing to attack any and all that did not sport an apple on the back, with examples that had little validity if any, had no response beyond his products were "amazing."

I have no problem if you use a product because you like it. If you bought something simply because you wanted it, even if it makes no sense to another. But don't go out and trash every product similar to yours if you can't give a single explanation as to why those products are junk.

Dolla' Dolla' Bill Y'all

2012-02-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

Lets us never forget, it is not free to manufacture the electronics we love. So DEMANDING EVERYTHING BE FREE makes no sense right? Right. At the end of the day you are dealing with businesses, and a business by necessity must make money.

Nerd!

2012-01-22T13:55:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrate the inner Nerd in everyone. Whoever said Nerds require glasses? We all enjoy a touch of nerd, unless of course you frat so hard that your double popped collar serves as a retaining wall for some higher calling of douche.

So get your Nerd on. Go play a 4th grader in halo and tell him to "grow a pair" with your headset(don't even think about lying and telling me you've never done that), then talk it up with the love of your life, E-Girl (the one and only chick in your favorite Dragon Ball Z chat room). Or if that doesn't tickle your fancy; grab a big hunk of foam, some paint, and a razor blade to make one spectacularly realistic Darth Vader helmet to wear while you watch Star Wars.

NERD ON!

I love AUTOCORRECT!

2012-01-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

Variety is the spice of life and why can't we enjoy the same joy on our mobiles? Believe you me... Yes. We. Can(Obama Style). With the most random occurrences of glorious miscalculated typing ability comes the beauty that is Auto Correction. Why not spruce up a boring "My sister's brisket was delicious" with a conversational "My sister's tits were delicious." Raucous, crude, and hilarious!

For that we thank you, AUTOCORRECTION.

TASHTOSOIGFOOIMHAWESTLIASWPAWSAEUTKWTMOALHTAWWTSWTFIM

2011-11-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

ThisAbbreviationShitHasToStopOrImGonnaFreakOutOnlineIMeanHowAreWeSupposedToLiveInASocietyWherePeopleAbbreviateWholeSentencesAndExpectUsToKnowWhatTheyMeanOrAtLeastHaveToAskWhoeverWroteTheSentenceWhatTheFuckItMeans

STFU!

2011-11-07T21:16:00.000-08:00

"Theres no way! Becky did what???? Thats soooooo grosssssssss.... She shouldn't even try and fit into that.... Last time I saw her I was like, and she was alll..... ewwww."

Why do the most annoying people insist on talking at an unreasonable volume!? We ALL know the ones. Trying to enjoy a cup of Joe at the local Starbucks when Wendy Who the Fuck starts raaaaving about Becky and her big butt. We dont care!!! Wendy... a normal volume would suffice, or maybe you should express your whiny voice via text message, drink your coffee and leave the rest of the world to peace =)

And lest we forget the public business deal. Its all a secret between business partners in the news, but why must every man in a suit talk about they juicy details of their business nuances at max capacity? "Bill there is no way we can pull that deal out of the ground! The way Alex parades around with hookers in the media, the business is having trouble as it is! Unless we can convince him that fake titties and high heels aren't sexy then we will never get Wall Street on board!"

Of course the Baskin Robbins... full of children, and loving parents... needs to hear all about Alex's addiction to the wonders of paid for by the pound boobies.

The government has started to require headsets in cars... Maybe we can petition for the "STFU You are annoying and talk way to loud whilst on your phone in public places limitation device!"

Tab-let-down

2011-11-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Just try it. You'll love it I promise. Its so much more convenient around the house and while traveling!"

Wise words of tablet flattery! Oiy Ve. The last two months of my life brought to test this theory that the laptop is dead.

Day 1: To the couch we go! The T.V. is on and I'm happily downloading apps to my beautiful new Galaxy Tab 10.1. The lovely display is complimented by the sleek looks and interactive touch screen. Email? There's an app for that. Facebook? an app! Ebay? an app! .............. Apps are just so damn exciting! (smiley face).

Day 2: Back at it. Lets check my blog, see who's reading!? Oops, the flash player didn't quite load right. No sweat back to my apps, love em to death!

Day 3: Grab that tab! Why not see what the world has to say on Facebook. loooooooaaaaddddding... but alas here we are. "OMG did you see dancing with the starrrrs?" Sweet, the worlds still the same! Maybe someones on chat. Oooops, chat doesnt work with this app. No sweat. The touch screen is still cool.

Day 4: Whats happening on the interwebs today? Choices...Choices... Laptop come hither!

Why does everything on a tablet have the same convenience as a smartphone? Simply put, the operating systems just aren't there yet. Browsers are slow. Apps don't support all the features. Typing sucks. And the biggest draw for most people the games..... are either hard to play or boring after 30 minutes.(If you justified spending 600 and change for a tablet just to keeps the kids quiet in the car then... Yikes). Not to mention the business aspect to these devices. Do you really see yourself working on an excel spreadsheet with your tablet? Good luck, grab a beer and hunker down its going to be a long frustrating while. Maybe you want to take some notes in word... Sure can! Type away at 10 WPM then get back to me, and don't even think about formatting those notes without your computer. And yes you can play that PowerPoint, but try and make one with your lovely tabby. That tablet is a glorified flash-drive if all your doing is using its hard drive.

Yes the portability and battery life of the tablet has its advantages, but the features aren't there yet. Games are short and boring, productivity is convenient only when your bored, and the price is ridiculous. Each and every app that is advertised with deity status comes standard with most laptops for the same price or less. And laptops are keeping up, battery life with ultra-portable laptops running fully featured operating systems are approaching double digits, for a slightly higher price than your coveted tablet. Throw in all the adapter your need to meet that laptops connectivity, 1-5 dollars for most worthwhile apps you download, and we are in a dead heat.

Put the best tablet and a Macbook Air on a table side by side(and I hate Macs). I'll take that Macbook any day of the week.

My dream for technology

2011-10-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentleman, this is where I want technology to be in 5 years.

Imagine a device that is small and sleek. At the same time it is large and elegant. Imagine a device that takes the simplicity of design, but incorporates the productivity of power. What if you got a picture message on a pocket sized device, and unfolded it to show an entire room? Or left the tablet in the past?

Flexibility is the point here. What I want to see is a 3 inch phone that can unfold into a 10 inch tablet, or an 18 inch computer screen. A device that can project a digital keyboard onto a surface to allow productivity's needs. What if your phone camera was a projector? A Photo editor? A keyboard and mouse? What if that palm sized 5 oz device could unfold into a desktop powerhouse, or a Wifi television?

The idea of a flexible touchscreen and projected imagery leads to so many possibilities. If we can create pliable hardware we can fold any sized device into the palm of your hand.

What would you pay for a full sized laptop, with the power of a desktop, and the portability of a cell phone?

Do me a favor!

2011-10-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Technology is not ALL that complicated. If there is one simple piece of advice I can give... It is to EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS. Throwing it, turn it off and leaving, setting it down, or just plain yelling it at DOES NOT FIX THE PROBLEM.

You can do it! Hit a few buttons, click, point, touch, explore... hell just play with it! (Yeah yeah I know thats what he/she said)

And for god sakes, stop buying how to books!

Editorial

2011-10-24T23:22:00.000-07:00

On an off topic editorial break, I would like to salute the beauty of alliteration. There's nothing quite as satisfying as putting together a sweet string of alliterated gold. Something seems so serendipitous about this portion of the English language, so here is your due!

Thank YOU alliteration.

Is there an editor??

2011-10-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

As an avid blogger and tech news follower... I normally would take an article with grace let the writer write. But WTF happened here? On the same page... In the same headline bar... By the same news source... Two articles arguing exact opposite points? I was so incredible confused I had to write a post about it. Boy Genius Report has decided Apple has risen to, and is currently great... while at the same time deciding they have taken a step back from greatness and moving away from public favor.

You tell me? Because at this juncture I am clueless.

What Gives?

2011-09-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Humor me here and go to an article, or a youtube video, or tech review and read a few comments....Done?? K Good. Now. Whyyyyyyyyyy is everyone always so angry in these things? I mean seriously...

Regrettably, I have faith in people's intelligence every once and a while and decide to scroll to the bottom of the page. What a sucker I am.
"@SomeIdiot Your such a fanboy, how could you possibly think that product has any value at all. Your an idiot and blindly follow whatever the man tells you! Go suck it and come back when you grow a pair of big boy balls..."
Sound familiar??? Yep Maybe we should just skip out on the whole comment section for articles. Unless of course you have a possitive comment for my perfect blog.

Technology!

2011-09-26T21:14:00.000-07:00

A;alksdf;nva;wlevnwa;oev;awefj!

Why doesn't it just do what I want???? I just want this contact to show up last name first, sorted in alphabetical order by first name, displaying memos first, then mobile numbers, then email addresses, with a quick link to Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, text messaging, email, video chat, phone call, calender events featuring this contact, photos they have been tagged in on Facebook, but I don't anything else from Facebook in there, and a complete address book that updates with government records so I don't have to change their address each time they move. IS THAT SO HARD?

People seem to demand an incredible amount of things out of their technology. If one device does not connect to, organize, and mobilize literally every part of someones life it just is worthless now isn't it?

While I understand this point of view and respect the dream... You can't be so picky!!! If one little bug shows up the whole experience seems to be ruined for most folks.

If you demand a million functions in a device please be tolerant that one or two things may malfunction. Life sure is hard having everything in the palm of your hand, but the minute an email takes a minute to load life is over!??

Its all in the NAME

2011-09-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

The Casio G'zOne. The Pantech Crux, Nvidia. The Apple iPad. GNU Snowboards(Yeah its a snowboard company, but how the fuck do you pronounce that???) and just for taste, www.bjs.com(A prominent tech retailer).

Was anybody around to say excuse me? Did no-one blink at the fact that a revolutionary product sounds like a necessity to feminine hygiene? Maybe it was strategy to lure in horny teenagers to buy the hottest tech products with www.bjs.com? In retrospect that could just be a genious marketing ploy that my simplistic A.D.D. mind just can't comprehend. But seriously...

It cannot just be me here! These names suck!

Don't ruin my TV bro...!

2011-09-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

So you just bought a huge new TV eh? The colors are indeed gorgeous and of course I will go 30 minutes out of my way on my trip back from work just to see it!

Any new oversized television owner can concur, that first beautiful moment of HD is a gripping sensation liable to produce tears... But what happens when a few hours later your going through the hundreds of HD channels via cable... POW!

THE QUADRUPLE BAR! We are all used to the two bars on the side of non-HD material... But what cruel and disgruntled television coordinator decided to make a show with not just two bars on the sides, but two on the top and bottom! Maybe it was a person jealous to the beauty which owning a lovely, luscious, luxuriously lavish, and large televison can bring into ones living room. Or maybe it was someone so vindictive and mean spirited that they had no choice but to diminish all 60 inches on LED glory on your wall into 47 inches of misery. Buyer beware, cable is out to ruin your gigantic fantasies.

What do you mean its not free?

2011-09-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure how this phenomenon of free came about... But it needs to end!
Everyone understands what a loyal customer you are, and how much money you spend here every year, and how you promote this company to all of your friends, and how long you have been a paying customer, and how you will drive out of your way to come to this store, and why your business is important to us... BUT it has occurred to me and it should occur to all of you as well, electronics are a business!!! Going into a store and demanding hundreds of dollars off, or expecting all the fees to be waived destroys the beauty of profitability to which business thrives on.

Despite the common misconception, electronics are not free to manufacture and a retailer has a margin of profitability! Believe me I know how important you are, but a profit is a profit and without it you would be making your own products!

Size Does Matter

2011-09-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that size matters. So why are we all walking around with Blu-Rays and CD's that just cant compete?? The Laser Disc disappeared for no reason and I move to bring it back!. Just as vinyl records are alive and kicking the Laser Disc deserves a niche market!

And who wouldn't a room full of not quite high definition movies on a larger than life circular disc which at its pinnacle rivaled the size of the actual TV's themselves!

But what I am really trying to say is, CD's and MP3's defiantly sound better than vinyl albums. No snap crackle and pop, needles are not necessary(for all of you who are scared), and most importantly...Shoving that massive disc in your iPod could prove difficult.

You all saw that coming right?

Outlook!

2011-09-07T21:55:00.000-07:00

What is your email address? "I use Outlook." No I mean who is your email through? "Outlook on my computer." What your email address? "blahblahblah@gmail.com, but its Outlook."

Ok can we take a few moments to clarify!? Outlook simply shows you your emails. There is no Outlook email address. You don't give out an Outlook email address, and in no way shape or form does outlook give you the ability to send or receive email without a 3rd party email provider!!!! Google has email, Yahoo has email, even Microsoft has email(HOTMAIL NOT OUTLOOK!)

I don't have time for all of that...

2011-09-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

Time for what? The added convenience of your email at your fingertips 24/7? Or maybe the burden of putting the final touches on that powerpoint right before you presentation... And yes I know its so very stressful having your digital camera, music player, phone, and that sweet briefcase of a daytimer you carry all in one pocket sized device... BUT I THOUGHT YOU DIDN"T HAVE TIME FOR THAT?!?

Ladies and Gentleman, it's time to accept your fate! Maybe you won't give in because you don't want to admit you don't know how to use it, or maybe you're just too cool for convenience, but you can't run forever! Technology will catch up. I realize the first car was a scary venture for many, but this is merely a smartphone. Barring any freak accidents or bad horror movie plots, your life will improve with the device of your dreams!

Hybridonia

2011-08-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

WHY! CANT A HYBRID! LOOK! NORMAL???

Of course I would love to drive an eco-friendly, gas sipping, sex machine called by most normal beings a car. But what happened to the beautiful backside and nice sleek looks? When did that go out the window?

It seems to me that this hybrid craze is nothing more than a hipster happening for showboating the newest jellybean shaped mobile! Well I say nay... Why not just take the beautiful guts of the hybrid and throw those in what we all know and love as a sexy looking car... Something we could all be proud to park somewhere other than the local coffee shop to argue opposite view points on everything popular whilst sipping a mocha latte green tea frape and smoking non-other than American Spirits(because they are just better)?!

Thanks to Steve!

2011-08-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously???? He wore the same thing for 13 years... iBet its custom made.

Oldspice!

2011-07-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

A side note from the normal tech talk. What has Oldspice done to commercials?? Every time i turn around its another guy making ridiculous statements for whatever product happens to be up to bat!

Wendy's? Gillette? Whats next?? You never know what the next product to apparate diamonds may be.

Texas? Texts!

2011-07-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

"OMG Becky I looked at my phone and I sent sooooo mannny texas this month! It's just crazy, can you believe it???"

Maybe Becky agrees how crazy it is or maybe she doesn't, but whats really concerning here?? The beautiful figment of technology called text messaging allows the most futile abbreviations of the english language to flurry amongst the genius of our future. And Thats OK!

In comparasion to this primordial sin of pronunciation to which our youth still has the ability to execute properly; a correctly pronounced "Oh My God" by a third grader easily out smarts the simple fact that one can merely send multiple texts... Not texas. T.E.X.T.S does not equal Texas!

Thank you for your consideration in this affair. XOXO... Andrew

Comeback!

2011-05-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

The bigger the better? Well that may depend what we are talking about... But the era of face engulfing real estate properties we are calling phones nowadays has peaked!

Slim, sleek, and sexy! Sounds like a fun night to me, and of course you want to look cool while talking to a real live person. Conversation is on its way back, and let me tell you, its not in the form of a how r u!

It only makes sense you would seemingly be more popular when people want to hear your real live voice, and what better way to do that than with that beautiful conversation piece that fits perfectly in your pocket.

Oh yeah, and you'll sound good too ;)

It's all in the name!

2011-02-16T15:53:00.000-08:00

It recently occurred to me with the overload of technology companies and products that names are becoming less and less important. And how could you argue with one of the most popular products of the year duly named the iPad. With the exception of Apple who so cleverly names everything i, who comes up with these names? Is it some guy hanging around the office getting paid way to much to come up with a bold yet smooth alias for a device that can reach the cosmos with its intensity. And yes I did just use all phone names in the end of that sentence.

We should try this out for a size, a giant lottery pick system, similar to sports, where a computer randomly generates a number of names and each product gets its chance to pick the name they want. Upon entry each item is given a number and randomly selected for who gets to choose first. The names can range anywhere from house cat breeds to vicious yacht names.

Or wait, is that how choose already?