As a spoonie & collector of quotations, I’ve found so many that inspire me; from the directly health-related like Buddha’s “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly,” to my oft-quoted “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” from Winston Churchill. We spoonies often deal with some pretty Hellish circumstances so we’ve learned (or are still learning ) that, for us, fighting back tends to make things worse. Anyone in their own Hell must make a choice; run away or stay, push forward or go backward, change latitude or attitude, continue alone or return home, change direction or avoid detection, whatever it takes just to get out or doesn’t take to give in. When your options are further limited by health, the way out — the only way to go for me — is through; “keep going.”

WEGO Health prompted my consideration of the quotational that’s inspirational as part of their Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge (#HAWMC). With a writing prompt for each day of April, WEGO’s first challenge was imagining a Health Time Capsule & this next one suggests sharing a quote that inspires me (either positively or negatively) by free-writing about it. I hadn’t really used this writing exercise since being online, despite encouraging other writers in my life to free write, so was pleasantly surprised to end up with over 400 words in just 15 minutes. Here they are — with typos corrected, punctuation & links added along with some words that seemed needed for clarity [which are in square brackets like these |_|)]:

How can one be inspired negatively? It’s obviously being pushed in the other direction [a negative one, since inspiration is typically considered positive |_|)] but isn’t that “discouraged?” When a phrase is discouraging, the only real inspiration happening [personally |_|)] is that I’m inspired to call a quotation’s bluff. How can an inanimate piece of info be bluffing? It’s about the intent & — just like swearing — it’s how something’s said, why & when it’s said as well as how the person quoting (or misquoting ) means it. Since there are so many factors, it’s surprising that so many words thus phrases & eventually oft-cited quotations (as they become more & more common) end up having a crowd-sourced meaning, & said meaning depends on the crowd one spends time with. Many religious people [for example |_|)] see individual swear words as negative while the generation [usually considered ‘Generation Y’ |_|)] just now getting out into the world & standing on their own with all that entails, including far fewer restrictions, use swear words as adjectives. Since a word that evokes a reaction simply by being said immediately adds meaning to any discourse, how can those of us willing to cuss not use them? Here we are, back at meaning again tho’; for example, saying “fuck” vs “fuck off” [with only the latter having a negative connotation regardless of one's take on swearing |_|)] then there’s “no pain, no gain” for a spoonie [as living with chronic pain changes an otherwise encouraging concept |_|)] which leads to well-known favorites like “c’est la vie.” One such phrase I’ve taken to quoting, expressing that something’s already done or can’t be changed, maybe even referencing a difference of opinion — What is this versatile quotation? — It is what it is. Now, before this turns into a “Who’s on first” routine, it really “is what it is.” No, wait, it’s actually “it is what it is” & I came across an article sometime ago that listed [it as one of |_|)] “7 Popular Negative Phrases.” First of all, context people, context. That’s as important to words as ‘location, location, location’ is to real estate. However, parsing the phrase’s most basic meaning shows that it’s saying exactly what anyone should take from it: that something exists & therefore is; or that the state of something has changed (or been made clear) so is now known, thus acknowledged as being. There are also the times when an opinion is expressed &, whatever the reaction or sentiment aside from that opinion, it too “is what it is” & may or may not change but, regardless of the future direction or hope for change, it just is what it currently is — [at least |_|)] for the time-being.

When I read the article declaring those seven popular phrases negative, this was my reaction:

As valid as most of this list is, it not only criticizes “Que Sera, Sera” which always cheers me up but the put-down of the 1st phrase was clearly written by someone without any experience with chronic illness or other disability (I hope they appreciate their luck. ~_^). “It is what it is” is not a reaction but an acceptance &, when you live with issues that cannot be readily changed, acceptance is actually the key to staying positive!

/rant from one #spoonie who admittedly says both a lot ~_~

A fellow spoonie added, “i pretty much agree with the list except for ‘I can’t.’ if ur BODY can’t, then U can’t. #spoonies know this.”

I’ve been blogging off & on for years, have more recently opened up about my health (or lack thereof ~_^) & feel incomplete when my world isn’t as digital as it is physical yet I stopped updating this blog nearly three years ago. There were a number of practical reasons from repeated moving thus intermittent internet to a steady decrease in that so-called health of mine, yet losing my Grandma three years ago seems to be the real culprit. She taught me, amidst many other marvelous wonders & wisdom like “the dread is worse than the doing,” that people have more than one soulmate; we were each lucky enough to have married ours while also having another in each other — our husbands’ souls being complementary whereas our own mirrored the other’s. I’ll always miss her but, as Dan Fogelberg might say, “I am her living legacy.”

Speaking of legacies, I’ve been challenged by WEGO Health to consider what my own might be. April is Health Activist Writer’s Month at WEGO — a month dedicated to the art of writing… about health — & they’re hosting a Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge (#HAWMC) with a writing prompt for each day of the month. If not only I but my health were memorialized, there would be purple & prose & poetry & perspectives that would seem more than just passe but downright preposterous. “What wit,” they would say, “what wisdom — no doubt thanx to these loved ones she’s commemorated — but wait; what’s this? Why would anyone have to go without healthcare?! How did she stay so positive despite so very much pain??”

As those who open my Health Time Capsule in 100 years get caught up in a collection of my favorite things, from a coffee press to the moonstones from my favorite beach, they find themselves longing for such simple pleasures as a picture forms of someone who makes the most of each moment. Then, reading thru my blogs & books, they discover that the simplicity of my life was a joy but not a choice. The more keepsakes, writings & pictures those future kindred spirits peruse; the more they understand the choice I did make, to enjoy. Each new item expressing my limitations either includes or is closely followed by an expression of appreciation for what couldn’t be limited. In the end, it will be my trusty sidekick, Chester C. Cane, that exemplifies my seemingly contradictory existence for the very need of a cane not only pronounces me disabled but announces my disability for all to see — making my illness less invisible. There again, a potential negative proves to be positive. Just as a cane has its own limitations but helps me better cope with mine, my legacy may be shaped by all I can’t do but will be filled with all the more appreciation for what I can.

HELLO!? Thanx ever so for visiting!

Our server, InMotion Hosting, has taken an exceptionally long coffee break, leaving your coffee press with unlimited refills on a back burner. Tho’ we can’t help but appreciate the irony, the Coffee for the Soul café is hiring better wait staff & your new server will be standing by with your personal press, taking coffee & tea breaks right here too thus solving any future server problems.

[oh the punny irony |_|)]

InMotion doesn’t get to bully us by keeping our sites, thus content, offline. Content creators are taking publishing back…

(|_|*hear, hear; read, read*|_|)

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I’ll keep pouring instant coffee tho’, starting with these Fun Facts via Google+!

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PS: Please click “About” to learn more. Triple ta (two ‘ta’s to say b’bye & one more to say thanx).

PPS: While my quotationary-inspired posts have been on hold, I still pin, plus, tumbl or tweet quotationaries & encouragement fairly often. ^_^

PPPS: This is a sticky post so it’s always on the homepage, just look below for newer posts.

I married a girl some time ago and there was this whole family that came along with the deal.

My dad had drawn his final breath way back in ‘76 and, although mom and I were pretty close, I hadn’t had any kind of “real family” for years. I’d get up to see her around Christmas time but it was never a big holiday affair.

I’d drop in, bringing the girl with me after 1990, and we’d stay a day or two, usually around the holiday season but never on Christmas day itself.. that just never worked out. We’d bring her something (one year it was a puppy who ended up being with us for the next ten years) and she’d always have a little something for us.

Mom wasn’t about “fuss and bother,” as she called it. She’d do a bit of Christmas shopping and get it all sent off to distant relatives who seldom came to see her. Sometimes they’d send her something. I always brought mine in person.

In 1993, she joined my dad. We inherited the pup, Rufus, and proceeded to miss her terribly. We still do.

But I always had Camp Nelson.

The girl I married had told me about the place early on, back when we were just hanging out with one another. She said she’d been raised there and that there was nothing closer to heaven-on-earth. Well, that sounded like a good place to get married, so that’s what we did. We tied the knot and vowed to be faithful before God and everyone else right there in a tiny, idealistic little chapel that looked like something out of Little House on the Prairie, except there wasn’t a prairie for miles.. only gorgeous, breathtaking mountains.

A few months later, I was invited to spend the first (for me) of what would later become an annual tradition.. the Camp Nelson family Christmas trip.

You’ll find the place nestled among the Sierra-Nevada Mountains of California in the Sequoia National Forest. You drive past the valley town of Porterville and hit the highway to the mountains, enduring an hour on a twisting, winding snake of a road that brings you into the former first world war encampment of Camp Nelson, now home to mainly retirees and mountain folk.

The place looks like Norman Rockwell and John Muir got together and designed a town, after having first asked advice from Thomas Kinkade and Ansel Adams.

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in where nature may heal and cheer and give strength to the body and soul.”
~ John Muir ~

I remember that first Christmas visit well. I’d been there a few times by then, but the girl was right.. there was nothing like Christmas in Camp Nelson. A silent hush emanated from the snow, broken by the crunch of our footsteps as we stepped from our car after pulling into the little driveway in front of the cabin. If you stood still for just a few seconds, you could hear the trees breathe.

Granddad Don knew a car had pulled up, so the front door flew open and there he stood, his curiosity satisfied once he saw that it was his “little brown-eyes” and her shiny new husband. He welcomed us in, and in we went.

We stayed for several days and, for that whole time,
the welcome never wore out.

Others arrived and they too were ushered in with open arms. Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends.. they poured into the cabin and rendered it a sanctuary of acceptance and love. It was a place to forget the woes of the year, even though they were lightly discussed before dinner, but as if they had happened to someone else. We didn’t know worry and stress while we were there. There just wasn’t room for it.

Granddad Don would fix Grandma Peg a “sock-it-to-me”.. a bit of holiday cheer in a glass. She’d regale us with tales from the old days, about family and friends who’d long since passed. I didn’t know of those people, but that wasn’t a requisite for finding charm in her stories. Granddad would chime in and, as often happens with those who’ve been together for a lifetime, they’d spend a great deal of time discussing the finer points of things that may or may not have happened and how they happened, if they did happen at all, depending on who was doing the remembering.

Aunt Donna visited for a few of those Christmases. My girl’s maternal aunt, she was a gracious soul who’d busy herself with things to be done.. dinner preparation, dishes, a spot of cleaning, a little gift wrapping and then a nice nature walk among those majestic trees to cap it off. Her sister would occasionally accompany her on a stroll along the crunchy, snowy paths and they’d gab on endlessly as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.

It’s been years now since Donna herself was peacefully laid to rest under those majestic trees, after cancer ferociously claimed her fragile body. Her gracious, loving soul flew on and soared like an eagle. Today, as Christmas comes around once again, she patiently awaits the great reunion.

“Take your time,” she says, “there’s plenty for you all to do yet.”

I haven’t had many holiday visits up there in that mountain heaven, where John Denver, Andy Williams and Bing Crosby sang us Christmas tunes and the wispy smell of the fireplace warmed my spirit. But I’ll cherish what few I was invited to with a grateful heart. The time came when life in the mountains was proving to be too much for such hearty old souls as Don and Peg, particularly with the loss of Donna stinging so badly. Things would never be the same for them without her cheery and loving visits so they moved to the valley below, sadly leaving the glorious cabin to be an empty, lonely sentry of God’s creation. Yet, although the memories are cherished, the place only plays a small part of it, since Christmas is really in the heart.

My girl and I have recently passed through a few tough years. A Camp Nelson Christmas has long been a thing of the past, and there have been Christmases spent solely with each other, wherever we have found ourselves. It looks as though this will be one of those years, but after recently having come so close to forever losing my girl, we both know better than ever how much it’s who you’re with and not so much where.

Grandma Peg herself was called home early last year, so Granddad returned to the lonely cabin to wait out that great reunion in solitude. But he won’t be alone this Christmas, because family will be on hand to stoke the fireplace and the memories, to keep both from waning as the night goes on.

We wish we could be with him, but as Grandma Peg is with him in spirit, we are too.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and HAPPY NEW YEAR to our readers!

Cherish this coming new year and each other.

Cherish the now.

With Invisible Illness Week wrapping up, I was determined to blog again (as promised) & what better way than to do the meme created for the event. These 30 queries have been 3 days in the answering but I hung in there because awareness of illnesses & issues that are so often not recognized, much less understood, is crucial to the well[ish]-being of those living with them. For a better understanding of what I’m living with & the journey therein, be sure to read my first IIW post: What’s getting in YOUR way?

1. The illness I live with is: still undiagnosed

I had a doctor once & she charged on a sliding scale. Ruling out what she could, she admitted I need more extensive testing which, of course, we couldn’t afford. Instead, she taught me about Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) & Fibromyalgia — convinced I had at least one, if not both — & helped me learn more about supplements.

My=muscle / algic=pain
Encephalo=brain / myel=spinal cord / itis=inflammation

2. I was will be diagnosed with it in the year: I become insured

Knowing a diagnosis would leave me essentially uninsurable, my one doctor & I didn’t pursue our well-founded suspicions. Further knowing a diagnosis alone wouldn’t help if it couldn’t be followed up with care — welcome to a healthcare system that’s been broken a long time — we just sought to alleviate symptoms, never imagining I’d still be doing so 15 years later.

3. But I’ve had symptoms since: childhood

I didn’t start putting the pieces together til my mid-20s but, by then, my Chronic Daily Headache was nearly a decade old. A key revelation came as I researched migraines; the overwhelming head pain that comes above & beyond my always present headache. They often present abdominally in children & I’d been treated for “stress” stomachaches in my youth.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: brain damage

My struggle to function is a chicken or the egg quandary. The dysfunction stems from my brain misfiring & misunderstanding its own information as my body uses up any energy it manages to generate trying to function, leaving my brain vulnerable. Our minds & bodies are designed to restore themselves regularly but mine can’t thus they degenerate.

5. Most people assume: I’m exaggerating

How could a headache last well over two decades? You couldn’t possibly have it every day! How could you not remember your childhood?! Surely you mean you just don’t remember it well!? Given that I too would love to better understand how such things are possible, if anything, I understate. Declarations without explanations are frustrating from both sides.

6. The hardest part about mornings is: trying to move

It’s admittedly better now that we have some semblance of a bed. After sleeping on the floor for years, our sofa-bed is an utter God-send. Having someplace to sit during the day also rocks but getting to that point can be tricky. Not only is my sleep not as restorative as it should be, it actually creates extra pain since I can’t maintain the needed support for my parts.

“Taking time to rest improves the rest of our time.”
~ Dorian Rhodes ~

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House

While I love sarcasm & brilliance run amok, Greg House’s determination is especially appealing. He’s dealing with chronic pain, fighting to differentiate his legitimate need for drugs from drug-seeking & not letting other people’s agendas stop him. His determination to solve each case leaves me hoping I’ll one day have a doctor that fights that hard for a diagnosis.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: my MacBook

Macelangelo, as he’s known, is my connection to the world at large. I’ve been without a computer too often; most recently, before moving to Palm Springs 2 years ago. My physical world is just too damn small without the interwebz. I have no local support, no personal transportation & no other means of staying in touch with family or friends.. nor would I have as many friends!

9. The hardest part about nights is: sleeping

It’s hard to get to sleep, harder to stay asleep & hardest to get enough sleep. With me being tired all the time, you’d think sleep would come easier but, since it doesn’t, I’m all that much more tired. Vicious cycle, anyone? To add insult to injury, between my brain’s misfirings & being woken by pain that occurs if I stay in one position too long, my sleep’s not deep enough.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. thirteen[ish]

Until I can avail myself of healthcare, meds are rare & I can’t currently afford all the supplements I need. The non-negotiables though are a couple Beano before meals, a multi-vitamin at breakfast, Cranberry capsules with lunch & dinner, daily detox, plus a Melatonin at night. I also allow myself constant ibuprofen one week a month & am rationing my last Rx of Vicodin.

11. Regarding alternative treatments, I: love yoga

Yoga is what got me working again, five years ago now. That job lasted until a fall onto my back which the doctor then recommended yoga for. The breathing & stretching remain part of my coping arsenal but I long for the day I can return to yoga classes. I also know full well that massage & acupuncture make a positive difference but am unlikely to have such options.

12. If I had to choose an invisible or visible illness, I’d choose: neither

Seriously, if there were a choice.. but I digress. If I had to choose a disease, I’d opt for just about anything less debilitating. That’d be doubly handy as many visible illnesses are. While it can be nice to “not look sick,” I’m not sure it makes up for the reactions using a motorized cart in a store gets me. Meanwhile, I have been treated better since using a cane.

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”
~ William Faulkner ~

13. Regarding working and career: I miss people

My various jobs have each tapped into my creativity in some way & “working” online fortunately does as well. What my online projects can’t provide is the wonderful randomness of the public. Not that there’s a lack of people, obviously; I mean, here you are (& thanx) yet I miss the unexpected interactions, the smiles & hugs, the people-watching, my customers.

14. People would be surprised to know: how difficult tasks are

I’m continually surprised by the complexity of the simplest things. I’ll be doing something I’ve done before but not remember how. I’ve accepted that I don’t remember things but simple tasks should be doable by rote, no? Instead, I’m constantly relearning everyday routines. Shoe-tying, egg-boiling & other such mundanities require way too much concentration.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my reality has been: thinking

As a student of thought/collector of ideas/lover of concepts, I mourn the unfettered ability to think. Because I do still drink deep of all that I can, as I’m able, the loss may be as invisible as the illness causing it yet my brain often shuts down altogether. I truly believe God is in the details so the blurrier my thinking is, the more disconnected I tend to feel.

16. What I never tho’t I could do while ill but did was: be consistent

My fear of being unable to follow through hasn’t kept me from attempting to, mind you. I have a blog that’s been on an unplanned hiatus since January, am halfway through last February’s HaikuWriMo at deviantART, seem to be collecting unfinished poems & posts.. to name but a few attempts. However, there’s hope for, even when I couldn’t really write, I kept up on Twitter.

17. The commercials about my illness: are aggravating

Mine is as yet unnamed but the various possibilities are addressed & I resent the implication that a pill will fix me. This is yet more rampant online where, amidst all the support sites & articles, lie (pun intended) those proclaiming cures. The only thing I can be sure I have is autoimmune dysfunction which needs funding for research, not incomplete treatments.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: dancing

I never did get the dance lessons I wanted but it would be harder yet to have an actual skill set & not be able to use it. Despite being untrained, dancing was once my therapy with dance clubs providing escape. It’s been over five years since my last dance — lost to the music & the crowd — which led to being carried off the dance floor & ending up bed-ridden.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: constant coffee

Rest assured, your coffeesister still allows herself one a day. It is a health drink, after all. Although coffee’s been my constant companion for as long as I can remember, my compromised health can’t take too much of a good thing. Hot beverages being a therapy I can’t live without, my morning coffee’s followed-up with black tea then green & I wrap up my day with herbal.

You don’t have to be still with a hot beverage for it to be therapeutic but you’ll be better off for every pause you let it create. (from Finding friendship, drink IN hand)

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: letting go

Letting go of guilt, chores, the rest of that to-do list or whatever threatens my time &/or sanity thus health is freeing as well as necessary. My time is spent on self-care rather than self-doubt if not bogged down by more than I can possibly do, much less guilt over what’s not done. To-do lists are a lot looser now; I do things not only as I get a chance but if I get a chance.

21. If I had one day of feeling normal I would: dote on my Hunny

Setting aside the question of what the Hell normal is, the thing I resent not being able to do day after pain-wracked day is take care of my husband even a fraction of how well he takes care of me day in & day out. I’d love to be able to put his needs first for a change, not that they never are but mine inevitably rear their helplessly needy head. He so richly deserves a day off!

22. My illness has taught me: to slow down

Perhaps my insomnia since childhood was a symptom of a more compromised system than yet known. Filling those extra hours over the years provided a distraction. By not slowing down, I kept from having to face how I really felt. I could contend being too ill to continue college was just the result of overdoing. All I had to do was find a better balance, right?!

23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: get well soon

While such well-wishers are well-intentioned, which I do appreciate, the implication that I can “get well soon” belies the reality of my situation. I’m not even sure I’ve ever been well & can’t count on ever being well, dealing as I am with not just chronic but debilitating health issues. Thus, when someone who’s known me for a time uses this phrase, it feels dismissive.

24. But I love it when people: insist on helping

Innate self-reliance makes it hella hard to ask for help yet I need it. If someone helps without being asked, much less insists on doing something for me, it’s an unqualified gift; I’m able to avoid the extra pain & save a little energy while not putting anyone out. It’s an acknowledgment — as much as a reminder to me — that I need help but, moreover, that they understand.

25. My favorite [concept] to get through tough times is: the yin-yang

The yin and yang represent all the opposites found in the universe; each having within them the seeds of their opposite state, that is, sickness has the seeds of health, health contains sickness, wealth, poverty, etc. None can exist without the other &, to the extent we experience anything, we become capable of experiencing its opposite. Seek that seed in every circumstance.

“Don’t curse the darkness – light a candle.”
~ Chinese Proverb ~

26. If someone’s diagnosed I’d like to tell them: your illness isn’t you

Our bodies — being physical — are but part of our circumstances. They & their maladies may effect who we become, as any external force can, yet who we are at our core is up to us. Just as my smile, though initially noticed due to my overbite, is remembered instead for its warmth; whatever your body’s putting you through is distracting but temporary, don’t lose yourself to it.

27. What surprised me, living with an illness, is: it doesn’t get easier

As fatalistic as that may seem, I’m not saying there’s not improvement in the illness itself or my ability to cope with it. However, the understanding that I could get worse again at any given moment is a constant. My condition has roller-coastered year after year, I don’t know what I’ll be dealing with moment to moment, having my life held hostage doesn’t get easier.

28. The nicest thing done, when I wasn’t well, was: remembering me

It’s natural to meet silence with silence but some remember my many silences aren’t by choice, won’t shrug off yet another absence, remember what I’m struggling with & reach out despite my inability to. Quotationaries to blogging, a shout-out into the voids can spark the energy needed or bridge the neglect. My love to all who’ve checked in if I haven’t tweeted for a time.

29. I’m involved with IIW because: understanding leads to progress

From the empathy we with invisible illnesses can share to the better understanding we can foster in those who know us to a clearer picture of the health issues that are a possibility for all of us therefore the true state of our so-called healthcare system, each epiphany paves the way for progress. Seeing these invisible struggles, how do we all not seek to ensure care?

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: grateful &..

I’m overwhelmingly grateful: Grateful that my blog still gets readers (given how much my illness interrupts its flow), grateful you care enough to be here, grateful my experience may make a positive impact & hopeful. My hope is that you’re taking something you can use away with you & that you’ll return. I hope to keep sharing & learning from each other — tell me something I may not know in the comments — for, together, we can change the world.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.” ~ Kahlil Gibran

UPDATE: I’ve now had health care for just over a year which has led to two confirmed diagnoses so far, Endometriosis & Migraine.

PS: Here’s a sampling of others’ “30 Things..”

• Aviva Brandt aka @SickMomma
• Dannette Rusnak aka @FibroHaven
• Diana Lee aka @somebodyhealme
• Elizabeth Wakefield aka @EAWake
• Jasmine Walton aka @jasminepw
• JessiBee aka @fmslife
• warriormare aka @hedwyg

Whatever it is, don’t let it.. not completely anyway. We all have things we’re putting off & issues that are holding us back. The damn dirty deal of it all is that we don’t always have a choice. Now, don’t get me wrong; we always have a choice but sometimes all we can choose is our attitude. The simple truth is that we can’t do anything & everything we want, much less when we want to but we sure as Hell can do what we can do. That may seem oversimplified but too often we’re so caught up in what we can’t do that we neglect to do what we can. Rather than focus on what’s not done (poor, unfinished blog posts), we have an opportunity every day — any given moment — to act. Our actions need not be big, just purposefully taken.

Let’s take action together as I explore my somedays along with my invisible illnesses. The reason I blog is to share my experiences, that others may learn from them too, & the reason I don’t blog as often as I’d like is my wonky health. I’ve borrowed an interview of me by Alex Fayle from his fantastic site, Someday Syndrome, as it addresses what’s in MY way & I’m sharing it here — now — because today is the beginning of National Invisible Illness Awareness Week. The recent push for Health Care Reform has prompted me to share more about my own health so I will be posting yet more this week but hope my answers below reach you in a way that impacts your own perspective & perhaps even the healthcare debate.

1. Describe who you are, how you live and what you do in one sentence. (e.g. Alex is a former procrastinator who uses his visionary ability to uncover hidden patterns and help people break the procrastination obstacle so they can finally find freedom and start living the life they desire.)

   Dorian aka coffeesister is coffee for the soul; brewing up help, health & happiness from a simple, stimulating & sustainable life while offering life lessons, potential perspectives & empathetic encouragement to all takers for that’s why we’re here: we’ve all been lent to each other.

2. Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?

   I’ve had chronic pain, in one form or another, throughout my life but that didn’t prepare me for being bed-ridden by my late-20s. I’d gallantly pushed on despite migraines, chronic daily headaches, tendinitis, mild scoliosis & asthma for over a quarter of a century — even keeping a job through what was presumably mono, despite having to drop out of college. Then.. No amount of willpower nor sense of urgency nor the strongest determination could make up for the fact that I was debilitatingly weak, constantly tired, painfully sore & cognitively spent.

   We (fortunately, I wasn’t alone; thank you, Dave) were building our first home, finally working in theatre & newly living near my family (another God-send) yet I felt like I was alternately missing out or ruining it. Although I’d always had bad bouts with my so-called health, none of the tricks I’d learned over the years were working. Employing everything I knew about sleep, diet & exercise simply gave me bouts of functionality. My world had turned around & I was left with a new reality in which I not only had few enough good days but fewer answers.

   Being starving artist types who live paycheck to paycheck, insurance had just never been an affordable option so my doctor could do little more than guess once what tests we could afford offered no answers. With symptoms like tiredness, grogginess & confusion as well as nothing but the likes of “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” to point to for an eventual diagnosis, I was treated by most people as if I had a psychological disorder instead of a physical one. That’s when the party really got going because I too began to wonder.

3. Even our lowest moments fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?

   My life hadn’t been particularly easy so, for a time, I took a much needed break. You know, the ol’ “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” routine. The more rest I got, the more bouts of functionality came my way & that Dave-person even managed to get me my own computer so things weren’t bad per se if still not forming a life anything like I’d ever envisioned or known. As I shared recently on Twitter; surprisingly enough, being horizontal does get tiresome.

   Dave & I believe that it’s important to be content in your life, regardless of circumstances, but just as important to not be satisfied. Thankfully, I wasn’t. I do love to think & it may have become increasingly challenging to do so but I’d certainly had plenty of time to do so anyway. The computer was used for research as my doctor had pointed me in the likely directions — speaking of which, Fibromyalgia Awareness Day was just last week — & the conclusions eventually started adding up.

   When life stops us dead (or at least forces us to play dead), there’s a reason. When there’s no discernible cause for the hiatus from life as we know it, there’s a damn good reason. Not only did I need to reassess my current situation, it was high time I found the throughline for my nearly 30 years. I recognized I was still very young, despite feeling very old, & had always been wise for my years so I’d equally not felt the need for in-depth retrospection & long since known myself quite well. Looking at my own life with a fresh perspective was a challenge & a gift.

4. Tell us what you did to break up the pity party. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?

   I’m still working toward more thriving than surviving but it’s crucial not to miss out on life along the way. No matter what you’re going through, your psyche’s still capable of laughter, your heart still responds to beauty & your soul still needs to be fed. I continued Stage Managing intermittently despite ending up in a practically comatose state after each show, teaching myself how to use this new body & mind in the process. That also allowed me to work with teens which was my first vocation. Staying connected to my passions kept me sane & combining them kept me going for the teen volunteers were learning what I did (but no longer could do on my own).

   Feeling somewhat like myself again, it was time to fill in the blanks. Both the figurative ones, such as what I had been doing to my health all these years, & the literal ones, like a malfunctioning brain, had to be addressed. Everything we experience is a collision of perspective & circumstance so fundamental change, especially to the point of restoring health, relies on understanding how each came about. I asked the people who knew me best (w/mug raised to that Hunny o’mine & me mum) comparative questions about my symptoms, frame of mind & any other differences they’d noticed past to present. I kept a “brain book” — like a journal but far less interesting — to track my thoughts since my gray matter was no longer reliable. I used the scientific method to ascertain what caused which & which worsened when. It doesn’t matter what’s not working or how you may break, the human spirit can dominate but it will triumph if you do more than mend the cracks; rebuild (we have the technology).

5. Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?

   Empowered. I tell you what; did I mention empowered? All the best things in life are active. Just as you can’t steer an anchored ship, you can’t create change until you make changes. Sure, some of them will be wrong.. YAY you! Mistakes mean you took a risk, you tried. We can’t learn without mistakes. A societal majority has misrepresented success. Success is NOT not failing, has nothing to do with what you do, even less to do with what you own & everything to do with who you are. The key to discovering who I was, as it is with all of us, was to discover my mistakes. It wasn’t that I blamed myself but that I knew I’d missed something because, when I hadn’t taken action, my body had been forced to. However healthy you may be, heed your body’s messages. It knows what it needs.

   I was so used to pain it didn’t occur to me as I was growing up that it wasn’t normal. We really do acclimate to whatever we don’t know isn’t typical. In turn, we don’t know what it is that’s atypical so we don’t talk about it. Other, equally damaging things in my life have also fit that pattern. I came to realize that I hadn’t just been in denial when it came to my health but was in denial about being in denial. Upon figuring out that constant pain wasn’t a common phenomenon, once I quit self-medicating with alcohol in my teen years, I was no longer covered by parental insurance. When I couldn’t conveniently avoid the pain & play at normalcy that way, I assumed instead that my pain was just worse than most people’s. Rather than face that there were indeed people without any, thus recognizing pain as a problem, I allowed myself to believe it was only severe pain that was considered a warning sign & downplayed my own.

   I’d been downplaying quite the collection of symptoms over the years. It had become habit so as not to worry others & I’d lost track, no longer noticing the progression. We can give ourselves no better gift than to take stock periodically. If all’s well &/or we’re comparatively improved, we feel appropriately grateful whereas, if the comparison doesn’t hold up, we can take appropriate action. In order to function from day to day, it can be important not to keep a constant watch on the big picture lest we get overwhelmed. Be sure to install multi-paned glass in the picture window of your life so you can focus on each pain pane as needed then be sure to step back now & again for that telling big picture. At nearly 30, I finally stepped all the way back for the first time & discovered not just a slew of random symptoms but a myriad of related symptoms all pointing to one thing: autoimmune dysfunction. It wasn’t a specific answer but it was the key to fighting back.

6. Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?

   “I’ll do that (insert someday here) when I feel better.” The sad fact is that I very often must wait til I’m feeling better which is precisely what makes this Somedayness so insidious. Anything we need to legitimately consider in our daily lives can all too easily become more habit than prudent. When money’s especially tight, we become wary of spending it. My energy is like a constantly devalued currency in an unstable economy. Its value will plummet without warning &, the next thing I know, the simplest task had far too great a cost. It’s human nature to steer clear of actions that have negative consequences; the more difficult something is, the more reticent we become. When it’s not only difficult but likely means you won’t be able to do anything else for a time, that reticence becomes procrastination.

   I’ve always been an expert procrastinator. My saving grace being that I use my procrastination skills to stay open to unexpected opportunities; ready, able & willing to set everything aside as priorities change from day to day. Ultimately, this is simply mindful living — letting the moments take me where I’m most needed. However, with so little energy currency to spend at any given time & the added taxation on any action of additional pain, staying ready can become standing (or lying) still. Limiting our expenditures can turn into a pattern of not spending at all. “Better safe than sorry” has its place & one of the mantras I live by is “when in doubt, don’t” but, when it’s fear masquerading as doubt, then it’s time to do, damn it, DO!

7. Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?

   Ever trade one obsession in for another? Quit a bad habit by replacing it? Stop making yourself sicker day after day by being afraid to do anything? ur doin it wrong! Going from one extreme to another leaves out a world of possibilities. Fear loves to parade around inside our heads all dressed up as doubt. Good ol’ doubt; so wise, so sane, just there to help. Fear, when legitimate, doesn’t hesitate; it knows it’s justified & rears its scary head. Thank God. It’s the reason we don’t typically open the door the killer’s lurking behind in real life. When fear’s feeling over-protective not to mention a bit controlling, it hides. Because of this prowess, the only way to catch it in the act is that taking-stock-thing.

   If I had to choose just one mantra, it’d be “coffee makes everything better,” which I’d then question because it would actually be “question everything.” We have to ask ourselves all the obvious “Why?”s then follow up with as many “Really?!”s as we can muster only to then ask my personal favorite, “So what!?” So what if it hurts to do that? It’s really not worth a little pain?? Why settle for less when you can have what you want??? I’ve been out of bed for a decade now & have learned a lot about keeping my body going while giving it the chance it needs to get healthier. Unfortunately, some good habits had devolved into bad ones thanx to my bossy friend Fear. Fortunately, I reached a point where I looked around & asked, “What the Hell?!?”

   The big picture was once again of a life on hold. Pane after pane revealed how miserly I’d become with my health. From simple things like not making myself an always coveted hot beverage when Dave wasn’t available because the back pain & aggravated headache seemed too high a price to no longer venturing far from home for fear of getting stranded as will happen when the wrong muscle acts up at the wrong time. Big change always starts with little changes so things like being the one to make our nightly tea are what started to get me back on track. My Grandma’s death proved my final boarding call for the “you created a life, live it already” train. Not only did I reflect on the first time she kicked me in the butt, that I might make more of my life, but I ended up spending time with her daughter (aka Momma) who equipped my butt with the things I’d need to get on with that life. I seldom answer Twitter’s update query, “What are you doing?” but — since returning home with vitamins my body can absorb, meds that do what my body can’t & my beautiful wooden cane, Chester — I could.

8. Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?

   Any time there’s not a tangible reason for a day to be lacklustre (frustration, health issue, disappointment), something needs to give. If you can’t pinpoint a problem but can’t declare a good day, your soul’s trying to tell you something. Decoding soul-speak can be tricky; common messengers are dreams, new frustrations (especially things that weren’t previously frustrating), cravings (often occurring with health issues) & recurring thoughts. Small changes can provide a new take on things as each day’s choices bring a different perspective. If nothing floats to the surface &/or you’re not typically so self-aware, the key to unlocking a current discontent or needed change is to journal. Nothing orderly or defined, mind you, & you needn’t continue indefinitely. Just shake a few things loose with some free-writing first thing in the morning or last thing at night. If you find yourself staring at a blank page, e-mail random thoughts (try using a time limit) to someone you trust or even yourself. Act on new ideas, try new things, change things up every chance you get & you’ll find what’s lacking.. or accidentally fulfill it.

9. If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for? You might be tempted to provide a cheeky answer, but stop and think a moment about what would really help you.

   Ask me what I’m doing now & again. If I can’t answer, I’d better have a Hell of a reason. Simply put, everything I do has a physical price so I’m constantly weighing the cost against the return. Feedback provides such high return value as to make the cost consistently worthwhile. In turn, I have to be willing to proudly proclaim my accomplishments. Most people aren’t going to understand what a big deal walking to the store is, much less consider making coffee something to be proud of (unless I were 4 rather than 40), nor should they but I will. We don’t need reassurance to realize we’re doing something of value. What comes in handy though is prompting; we get a chance to remember what & why we’re doing whatever it is that’s uniquely ours with the irreplaceable bonus of knowing someone noticed. As much as I love to blog & — yes — tweet, the motivation does wane without feedback. Everything I do is done with the hope it’ll touch another soul so each & every response touches mine.

   I had set the goal of posting weeklyish to each of my blogs just before my current derailment so will be working my way back to that. Your feedback on any or all of them would be an immeasurable help & I encourage you to please share anything. Comment on the writing, format, theme, you name it, or just comment. ^_^ From the freshly brewed warmth & wisdom poured into every post at my primary blog, “Drink Deeply,” to the quotationaries — quotations w/commentary — “Dorian’s Demitasse” is filled with; I’m sharing what I’ve learned, my experiences & those I love with the intention of helping. Then there’s “Drink Deeply [of me]),” where I share just that: moi.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” ~ Buddha

“No city invites the heart
to come to life as San Francisco does.
Arrival in San Francisco is an experience in living.”
— William Saroyan —
(always bloom where you’re planted yet
strive to take root where you’ll flourish)

(|_|*ch33rs*|_|)
Quotationaries are quotations with commentary;
I pin, plus, tumbl or tweet such quote-ables
& encouragement fairly often. stay caffeinated!

What’s with the 404s?! Yesterday, the whole site was gone & today there’s another missing post. Who’s running this site anyway!? Oh yeah, that’d be me; you know, the one typing this. Of course, I’m done typing now as it’s been published & is being read by you — thanx, btw!

My weekly[ish] tweet posts require editing to turn into the beautiful plethora of pics, videos, quotes & links they’re meant to offer. Otherwise, you could just peruse my Twitter profile.

The good news is, I’ll be editing through the week & have spiffy new posts to share soon as they’ve just been waylaid by that infernal editing department. The better news is that the site itself is changing up.. not in content or design, mind you, just presentation. I’ll be making it easier to find the various offerings. In the mood for quotes — & when aren’t you? — voila, the most recent quotable post right there up front. But wait, there’s more.. The most recent goodies tweeted will still be front & center but so will the latest holiday post & life-tweaking post.

That’s right, accessibility baby! I’ll keep the coffee hot & the tea out so come on back now, y’hear??

UPDATE: Time flies even when you’re not having fun. No worries tho’, the editing continues & the revitalized posts WILL start appearing this week. Your patience is so appreciated & I’d like to show my appreciation. Leave a comment or use the contact form to let me know how I can make my blog’s downtime up to you.. What do you miss? What would you like me to write about? How can I make Drinking Deeply a better experience for you? THANX! (&, yes, by all means, let me know what you don’t like as well)

PS: For those concerned, while my health did slow my progress down, it was also other projects. I run my best friend’s blog & he started posting regularly so fell free to check out Nothing is Impossible Ministries. Whatever your take on Christianity, his perspective’s refreshing, his travels interesting & his insights honest. Meanwhile, I’m also building a new site for a dear friend at LornaInWonderland.net & there’s much to be done yet but I hope to have something worthy up by her 5th anniversary of blogging in 10 days. Wish me luck & wish her a happy 5th!

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“The never-ending task of [blog] improvement.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

• Happy 4th of July! May Independence Day bring about new states of mind.. explore it, the possibilities & a #quote or 5; “Independence is a State of Mind” #
• Send this e-card in appreciation of our veterans, service members & their families who protect our independence http://ff.im/-4MsGu #July4th #


“If you can’t do what you want, do what you can.”
-– Lois McMaster Bujold –
(independence comes in degrees & is ours to create)
from my TwitWall, as tweeted below

• Happy Independence Day! http://bit.ly/ScLbF #
• faved "Perfect Summer eve: Fireworks popping & fanning sky, fireflies, sounds of frogs & locusts, the moon high & bright" from @stargardener #

THX @susanreynolds 4RTingME: People don't change w/the times-they change the times. -PKShaw (in challenging ourselves-we challenge the status quo) #

• retweet of @klamach: i would rather die on my feet in peaceful dissidence than live on my knees in oppression #iranelection (via @Killandra) #
• Iranian Women & The Uprising: Culture, Rights & Roundhouse Kicks @bust_magazine http://tinyurl.com/klaugd #iranelection (via @EmpressNorton) #
• This fantastic "Fireworks 2009" slideshow.. http://ff.im/-4Thik ..is by @Karoli who is also fantastic! ^_^ #July4th @paulbritphoto @1Paisley #

watch the very slideshow, tweeted above, right here
• Building a Positive Life – @PeacefulWmn9 http://ff.im/-4Qvld #
• "Love to play in the sun, dance in the rain & walk in the moonlight, yet coming back home is the best!"-@arlenesg's bio (|_|*hear, hear*|_|) #

Uncertainty & expectation are the joys of life. William Congreve (stray from the known path-round corners-discover new possibilities) #quote #

• retweet of @hochmann: new post on bits of buddhism: More Rumi Ruminations: Be your note! Blend with the Divine. http://post.ly/17Ns (<3 Rumi) #
• retwt of @arlenesg: I have a new #twitter sister who luvs #coffee as I do. She's fun. [YAY & THANX (|_|*to my new twitter-coffeesister*|_|)] #

"A lifestyle is what you pay for; a life is what pays you."-Thomas Leonard (tis the little things that build the most rewarding life) #quote #

• coffeesister here / testing #plurk via IM / shall "plurkus" return? (aka bad #haiku 0_0) http://plurk.com/p/17ad73 #
• retweet of @Killandra: Our cause on @Facebook is now over 3000!! Support Blue Ribbon Campaign for #ME/CFS – http://ow.ly/dehk (Just joined!) #
• tis a fuzzy world but all the better for it when that fuzziness comes in the form of @PaganPuppycat http://flic.kr/p/6CDA6q #


this is @PaganPuppycat, as tweeted above

• my @RhodesTer used his few tips to bring me a muffin! having it now w/hot mango #tea as he recuperates from work (aka sleep -_-) *nuts, YUM* #

Dori’s Muffin
by RhodesTer on July 6, 2009

Yesterday, I brought a muffin home for Dori.

She likes it when I do that.

I haven’t been able to do it for a long time, because it was always after an overnight shift at the hotel where I worked in downtown Palm Springs. I was laid-off in December and haven’t been in downtown Palm Springs during the morning since then.

But this weekend they called me back to work a couple of overnight shifts for the 4th of July holiday.

When I got off Sunday morning, I went down to The Coffeebean and got Dori’s muffin. I got one for myself too, and consumed it on the premises with a mocha ice-blended while watching people come in and out.

Then, after finishing mine, I had them put Dori’s muffin into a little brown bag..

CLICK to read the whole story & see a great video!

• as ordered by Thomas @Hochmann – "awesomeness" – check: the balance of yin & yang, peace, love, the moon & stars; ALL awesome in reply to hochmann #
• ATTN: #Twitter – @hochmann's wife (aka Suzy) is awesome! [after all, she puts up w/him.. er, *check* ..for that matter, @RhodesTer too!] in reply to hochmann #

Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. -Sarah Bernhardt (there are no limits when we open our souls) #quote #

• 8-Year-Old With Tourettes Wants Others to Learn Tolerance | theledger.com | The Ledger | Lakeland, FL http://ff.im/-4W4hy #
• A selection of photos of Spain.. http://bit.ly/Ip3Au ..well worth a few minutes of your time. (via @grahunt) [THANX for the new wallpapers!] #


a new addition to my wallpaper collection, as tweeted above

• not sure why, nor am I sure why I think there's a why, but my #brain fog's thick today; actions slow, tho'ts disjointed.. nothing new #fibro #
• as I deal w/multiple issues daily, <3 #Chronic #Pain Warriors: Responding to the Pile-Up of Challenges; http://is.gd/1rBlJ @ Dancing w/ Pain® #

Leonard:You're some piece of work. Jack:We all are, Leonard. I recommend it. L:What? J:Life.-"Mental" (to live's a piece of work) #TV #quote #

• A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin #quote @hochmann here to aMUSE.. case in point & more #Chaplin http://bit.ly/14jepC in reply to hochmann #

"A warrior of light has no regrets, because regrets can kill. He humbles himself and undoes the wrong he has done." – #quote by @PauloCoelho #

• an "Inventory of normality" by @PauloCoelho – http://bit.ly/x8rCB – a few favorites are #s 1, 8, 12a, 23, 27, 39, 42, 44 & 47; PLEASE read!? #
• Buffy vs Edward: Twilight Remixed — [original version] http://ff.im/-4Z4ba #


What Would Buffy Do? Notes on Dusting Edward Cullen

• We are indeed in good company so not alone. We also enjoy small blessings & life pleasures w/new appreciation. (from @stargardener) [BINGO!] #
• Desktop wallpaper | Social Wallpapering http://ff.im/-51ywD #


another new wallpaper addition, from the site tweeted above

• the spiritual healing by the fine arts starts as we recognize ourselves in others. http://ff.im/-51IuG #
• hope all is well.. tis a scary time @ the Rhodes' home; determined to keep our wee apt, trusting we ARE where we belong & working on funding #
• How Giving Changes Everything; http://bit.ly/MW2gw by @jonathanmead @zen_habits (via @FairyBlogMother) "[we're] most fulfilled when serving" #

"My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here." -Jim Henson (empathy & generosity have the greatest impact) #quote #

• THX for the #quote retweet, @uppington making a positive difference is indeed the best we can hope for; a little effort creates huge ripples #
• from @jeanneendo: "FOXY FRIDAY!" Applicable to most any #chronic condition. http://bit.ly/iHhp2 (now to eventually get a #health care pro..) #
• #pain takes over / determination pushing back / détente .. #chronic #haiku >_< !haiku http://ff.im/-545HU #

my blog post agreeing w/ @SueInge-"Be sure to get the sleep you need. Stay rested, stay well"-To rest, perchance to live: http://ub0.cc/3s/W #

• my post "To rest, perchance to live:" has great comments by @Tojosan @TheCharmQuark @JeannetteNL & @prosario_2000 – http://ub0.cc/3s/W – THX #
• from @worldprayr: Pray for those that are experiencing emotional stress due to job loss or other financial issues. (via @marrangee) [THANX!] #

Every moment is a golden 1 for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. -Henry Miller (if not golden, there's a silver lining) #quote #

• I've created my own #quote w/thanx to @quotegarden: "Under every full moon, our hopes & dreams travel its beams." http://tinyurl.com/qg-c001 #
• "Something's Coming (somethin' good)" so unleash the unknown & prepare for the possible; http://bit.ly/ugSXB @Killandra @jeanneendo video 4U in reply to Killandra #
"Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life."
– William Congreve –
(rather than stay on the path you know,
round some corners & discover new possibilities)
from my TwitWall, as tweeted above, click thru for the lyrics

Powered by Twitter Tools.

The Declaration of Independence was adopted on the 4th of July but had yet to be signed & started as a resolution a month earlier. True change is never instantaneous but each choice plants a seed & every action waters it. What may start as unrest or discomfort often leads to declarations of intent yet it’s what we do with those good intentions that make the difference.. or not. In 1776, five men presented a resolution

“declar[ing] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…”

Copies were distributed to members of the Continental Congress as well as throughout the colonies & other territories upon its adoption. A congress made of revolutionaries rallied British colonists one year into an ongoing rebellion against Britain itself. The 13 colonies that participated did become the country we now know as The United States of America.. after seven more years of war.

That dawning of independence did not provide freedom. In declaring ourselves free, we stated our intent. An intention that would’ve been but a footnote in history had we not been willing to put in the work, take the risks & suffer the losses. As a side-note, it amazes me when Americans think France should be beholden to us for our involvement in World War II since French involvement was crucial to The American Revolutionary War & it was the Treaty of Paris that officially recognized the independence of The United States of America in 1783. Surely it was the least we could do, considering we may not have existed as the country we are without them.

“To safeguard democracy the people must have a keen sense of independence, self-respect, and their oneness.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Allies are an important part of any revolution. Whether revolting against the status quo or your own habits, support from the right people — including yourself — is key. It can be as tricky to find true support from outside sources as it is to truly support ourselves. If we remember our choices plant seeds of possibility, perhaps we can assess our actions & influences more honestly. How are they watering those seeds? As detrimental as a drought of discouragement is, it’s seldom too late to revive a thirsty idea or intention. What we need to be wary of is any form of acid rain as it won’t just stunt the growth of our seeds of change. Acidic input will damage our personal revolution at its roots.

“Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.”
~ Thomas Paine ~

Independence must not only be won but kept. From the moment we decide our circumstances must change, we are fighting for or against that goal. Only we can declare our intention, claim our independence & exercise our freedom. The confines in which we do that declaring, claiming &/or exercising is what varies. In Iran, the declaration of a vote may feel lost but the intention remains & the claims were heard. Amidst Iranian freedoms being challenged, it’s the Iranian people who must choose not to be quieted. We, as allies, must choose to keep listening. When larger freedoms are limited, we learn to recognize & exercise the power of our intrinsic liberties.

Rebellion begins with questioning yet often is the questioning. Conditioning & fear are the twin pillars of the staus quo, there to keep questioning to a minimum. Most North Koreans live in fear of the outside world rather than longing for it as we might imagine. Generation after generation is conditioned to trust a government that’s manipulating them. For all the liberty lost throughout the world, most painfully evident in regions like Darfur, rarely does freedom seem so lacking as in North Korea. Their physical freedoms lie at the end of an Underground Railroad like the one slaves once relied on in The US so freedom of thought becomes everything.

“Injustice in the end produces independence.”
~ Voltaire ~

Our thoughts are the ultimate battleground. Regardless of the freedoms we’re granted or opportunities we’re provided, we’ll offer up little more than passing fancies unless we dare to believe. No-one else can give us the chutzpah to question or the impetus to act. If we’re paying attention, others will demonstrate their faith in us & yet others will lead by example but we must be open to inspiration. In a world where new thoughts are frightening, North Koreans are nonetheless thinking them. Faced with history being revised as it’s being made, Iranians didn’t give up. Despite varying degrees of privilege, we are not truly free if we’re not willing to imagine a world radically different than the one we know.

“Independence … is loyalty to one’s best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.”
~ Mark Twain ~

That willingness, that independence of thought, is what the 4th of July is really about. Few freedoms exist that new thinking didn’t help create. Even our intrinsic liberties require creative thinking to be put to dynamic use. Whatever your country, don’t let your life be dictated by circumstance. Don’t settle for declaring what you want. Revel in that victory & find ways to start implementing what you envision. Whether the changes you imagine are large or small, take the action your current circumstances allow then build on that as things begin to change. Be patient but persistent, avoiding the drought of inaction & the acid rain of self-doubt. Any ideal we have for ourselves or the world, can & should be watered sought.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“True independence is a state of mind, not of being.”
~ Phyllis aka doreyart, as quoted in my post
‘Independence found, freedom fostered’ ~

Thanx for your patience (hopefully ~_~) w/these weekly Twitter posts. Not only am I in the process of editing them but the intent behind them was to intersperse regular posts. *oops* Seriously tho’, they are meant to share the best tweets of the week: the links, photos, quotations & videos. The one below is the only one edited so far, the rest will return shortly — as far shorter & more enjoyable reads.

Meanwhile, we (as in RhodesTer & I) were blessed with an opportunity to switch apartments thus settling into the new one continues to keep me busy. Watch for the best tweets of June amidst my sorting then you’ll get that whole story as well.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When one has finished building one’s [home], one suddenly realizes that in the process one has learned something that one really needed to know in the worst way — before one began.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

• retweet of @hochmann: been thinking about that lately. thinking about the “whats” of my dreams, trying to get past the “why nots” (YAY you!) #


the quotationary Thomas replied to, as tweeted above

• retwt of @Pistachio: #Twitter is; Newspapers in a Blender… Pulped up, turned inside-out & pouring out as liquid streams. (which we create) #
• retweet of @ursulas: OMG! DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS ARE NOW LEGAL IN NEVADA!!! Legislature just finished overriding Governor Gibbons’ veto! YAY! #

from the keys of one of Twitter’s founders, @Ev:

retwt of @evskeys: Even I know love’s not based on the hardware you’re born with. No one can tell you the shape of the key that opens your <3

retwt of @evskeys: The internet’s like the human brain; vast power arising from millions of interconnections yet we use less than 10% of it.

• so glad you retweeted @onlinedesign & @EnLieux aren’t those great? @evskeys -the keys belonging to #Twitter founder @Ev- are pretty smart ~_^ in reply to onlinedesign #
• reading “The George #Tiller I Knew” – http://bit.ly/oi047 – (via @QueenofSpain) on The Daily Kos (@markosm) [short yet important read] #tcot #
• via @blogdiva RT @BiancaLaureano: for the record, “pro-life” isn’t something pro-choice folk argue, we argue anti-choice..there’s a BIG diff #

POTUS #quote “However profound our differences over difficult issues such as abortion, they cannot be resolved by heinous acts of violence.” #

• I, w/@EmperorNorton, respect those who seek to reduce the incidence of abortion by helping single mothers. That is productive and Christian. #
• from @EmperorNorton-[Social conservatism] is miseducating its followers. It must say that in civil matters, there’s to be no violence. Ever. #


the quotationary that prompted the quote shared below

my friend provided the perfect #quote to complement y.day’s quotationary: “Don’t let your fear grow bigger than your faith.” – Josie Bissett #

• retwt of @Serene_Balance-What about YOU? Do you Dare to Care? http://bit.ly/jvWyI (caring’s incomplete if not active & every action matters) #
• retwt of @QueenRania-Factoid: There are half a billion women around the world that can’t read or write. That’s the same as population of EU! #
• Welcome to June, dear Tweeps.. many a new beginning lined up, incl. our 19th wedding anniversary tomorrow & @RhodesTer‘s 50th b-day the 9th! #

wrt those new beginnings, to #quote my dear @RhodesTer “I don’t want to have a boss anymore. Bosses are overrated.” http://rhodester.net/hey #

• retweet of @HiroBoga-The myth of job security, & a great post on the fine art of self-employment from @havi: Also, hummus. http://is.gd/LHDd #
• retweet of @mlvalentine-Bloggers didn’t kill journalism, journalists who stopped reporting the news and starting spewing rhetoric killed it. #
• so.. @Rhodester‘s been drinking some Bud Light we got stuck with & keeps offering to share!? if I wouldn’t drink it @ 14, why would I @ 40?! #


1 of the “18 Beautiful Rainbows” tweeted below

• retweet of @spreadingjoy: RT @Jason_Pollock: 18 Beautiful Rainbows from Around the World – http://cli.gs/ZBJ9Jy (I love rainbows!) [so do I] #
• Friar John Cor recorded the creation of the 1st known batch of scotch whiskey 1 June 1495-time to get our whiskey drink on then @goingglocal #

THX @BeMeaningful-“Just as u can’t steer an anchored ship u cant create change until u make changes.” Inspiring interview http://bit.ly/yghkr #

Coping with Someday in Constant Pain:
Dorian (aka coffeesister) Interview
by Alex Fayle on 18 May 2009

Who: Dorian is coffee for the soul; brewing up help, health & happiness from a simple, stimulating & sustainable life while offering life lessons, potential perspectives & empathetic encouragement to all takers for that’s why we’re here: we’ve all been lent to each other.

Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals:
I’ve had chronic pain, in one form or another, throughout my life but that didn’t prepare me for being bed-ridden by my late-20s. I’d gallantly pushed on despite migraines, chronic daily headaches, tendinitis, mild scoliosis & asthma for over a quarter of a century — even keeping a job through what was presumably mono, despite having to drop out of college. Then.. No amount of willpower nor sense of urgency nor the strongest determination could make up for the fact that I was debilitatingly weak, constantly tired, painfully sore & cognitively spent.

CLICK to read the entire interview,
there’s something for EVERYone ~_~

• GO Jeanne! @jeanneendo celebrated her 1yr blogiversary by moving to her own domain; http://chronichealing.com #chronic #endo #fibro #ME #MCS #
• via @charitywater RT @TheWaterProject-Every day we don’t learn how we could do better is a wasted day. The ppl we serve demand our humility. #
• retwt of @spreadingjoy: Here are the results of our month of giving; http://bit.ly/20KF5B Thank you! [(|_|*to joy being created/shared*|_|)] #
• from @RhodesTer: 19 yrs of wedded bliss. Happy Annual-versary to US http://tinyurl.com/o74hz6 [his post's worth reading, my comment too] #
• btw, the “Annual-versary” post I tweeted of is of course @ http://rhodester.net so hope to see you there ~_^ @no1lefthere thanx Chris *mwah* in reply to no1lefthere #

“I <3 being married. It’s so great to find that 1 special person u want to annoy the rest of ur life.”-Rita Rudner http://bit.ly/9EwjV #quote #

• What @EmperorNorton said to an anti-abortion activist & other tho’ts.. http://cli.gs/UNjWh9 ..tho’ts I tend to agree with-esp wrt conscience #
• from @RhodesTer-My coffeesister’s sitting here quoting Roger Rabbit to someone in chat. (of course, he can only be quoted “when it’s funny”) #
• here’s @RhodesTer‘s latest blog post-A Visit From Father Phil- http://bit.ly/KZNNf -in which I use the word “exactly” exactly too many times #

It’s good to have an end to journey towards but it’s the journey that matters in the end. Ursula LeGuin (our means-not ends-define us) #quote #

• as we start our 20th year of marriage & @RhodesTer wraps up his 50th yr of life, w/so much in jeopardy, the contentment means that much more #
• retwt of @TIME: See pictures of Obama’s trip to Saudi Arabia | http://tr.im/njJh -via @rkref- (I particularly like the 6th photo in the set) #

great #quote via @motivational: “Other people & things can stop you temporarily. You’re the only one who can do it permanently.” -Zig Ziglar #

• retwt of @amyderby: I’m checking myself into Scrabble rehab. Word is, free Thorazine drip will be provided. (“Word is”-double meaning score) #
• via @Pistachio & @kitson-New Hampshire 6th state to legalize gay marriage; http://sn.im/nh0603 @BBC-joining Iowa, Conn, Mass, Maine, Vermont #
• officially blessing @deafmom‘s efforts “to pester @RhodesTer from now until Tuesday so all of Twitterville knows his birthday is coming up.” #
• Get clean water to 100 million people. Ask senators to cosponsor the Water for the World Act, sign the petition.. http://twitclicks.com/ks8j #

via TheONECampaign, wrt the tweet above
• came across the idea that being poor is only a frame of mind & all I can think is that the person being quoted has never experienced poverty #
• a must-see collection of gorgeous & amazing photographs at their own aptly named blog.. “Industrial Decay” http://ff.im/-3BZ0t (THX @Karoli) #


from the “Industrial Decay” blog, as tweeted above

YES @hochmann could NOT agree more ^_^ purity is pointless & unappreciated w/out a little wickedness to spice it up ~_^ (|_|*to balance*|_|) in reply to hochmann #

• retwt of @liveonpurpose: I need my supplements 2 function in my busy life (they ARE crucial tho’ need to be liquid or chewable to work best) #
• THANX for the stumbles on my interview by @AlexFayle, @kimota & @MrJWells as well as the reviews; OMG, @ndpthepoetress – http://bit.ly/1UKr1 #

from @EmperorNorton: [who] stops himself from wondering “what if”. There’s only What is. (which leads to What’s possible, “what if” doesn’t) #

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Silliness should be prized. I’ve had the good fortune of being raised with it as it’s always been one of my family’s most prized pursuits. None of us are class clowns or cut-ups (I had to marry to add that to the mix) but we love to laugh. We laugh readily & easily as well as good & long, especially when a shared bit of silly is the cause. Of course, it’s not so much the silliness as sharing it that we find infectious. Inside jokes are a constant. Our favorites are ones that don’t require insider information to be laughable so that anyone can join in. It also helps that those don’t require long memories since my maternal Grandma was the only one with a good memory.

“The more you laugh, The more you fill with glee
And the more the glee, The more we’re a merrier we!”
~ I Love To Laugh, “Mary Poppins” ~

What memories she had! One she shared time & again in her later years has become especially dear. When she & her siblings were quite small, one of her brothers would say, “YOU sooo siil-ly!” Grandma not only remembered it but quoted it exactly as that little boy during the Great Depression had said it. Such an appropriate remembrance too for she never would talk much about her childhood struggles; just pointing out that everyone does in one way or another. It was the little things she shared, like those long-ago words of her brother or a cherished doll (so rare amidst such poverty & no doubt the reason she collected dolls throughout her life).

“I have made it a rule of my life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy… you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.”
~ Katherine Mansfield ~

Optimism is a choice. While it does come more naturally for some than others, when paired with our often opposing natural inclinations, it’s a powerful tool. My mum tends to be pessimistic by nature but so childlike in her faith & hope that optimism is the knife she uses to cut her pessimism down to size. It wasn’t until Grandma’s recent death that I fully realized she was a Realistic Optimist just like me although I’d long understood that our souls saw the world in the same way. She considered us soulmates, teaching me early on that true connections are made through the soul & are never limited to romantic relationships.

Our souls are also how we connect to the world. The eyes are considered windows to that one part of us that is wholly unlike anyone else not solely because they allow a glimpse in but more importantly because it’s how we should be looking out. Memories, while precious, aren’t what make us who we are as is typically believed. My own broken brain & fictional explorations like Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse” call such common wisdom (as if wisdom is ever common) into question. It’s our souls that define us & our experiences that shape us, regardless of how or if they’re remembered.

“There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.”
~ Arnold Bennett ~

Remembrance is simply a journey, along a path the lucky ones hope is true. Our strongest memories are born of our strongest emotions so the mosaic of our life has amazing & horrible moments equally highlighted. It really was the best of times & the worst of times but we choose which we want to build from. Of the numerous things my Grandma imparted to me, by far the most precious was her ability to focus on the good in myself & others. My mum & her parents each provided unconditional love; Granddad accepts people as they are which he passed on to his daughter who wanted me so badly she couldn’t help but love me while Grandma, as she did with everyone, saw all my flaws but never let them keep her from seeing all my potential.

“There is one thing one has to have: either a soul that is cheerful by nature, or a soul made cheerful by work, love, art, and knowledge.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

Disappointment’s a given, hurt an inevitable risk & betrayal a likely eventuality. It’s not just human frailty that keeps things a far cry from perfect, our own circumstances work against us. To live is to live in interesting times. There are no easy fixes or guarantees; luck runs out, loved ones die, we let ourselves & others down, they reciprocate, no amount of hard work or positive thought leads to a particular outcome, goals can only keep you on track & acting on your dreams may not make a damn bit of difference. Letting any of that stop you is the only form of failure that really exists though.

“There are three things in life which are real: God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension so we must do what we can with the third.”
~ Indian Proverb ~

Laughter, recovery, love, perseverance; these are just as much a part of the human condition yet must be chosen. Grandma lived with everything listed previously but refused to get stuck in those aspects of life. In my own life, when I came close to not graduating high school, my mum wisely let her mum take over for a time & the truth Grandma consequently explained was the beginning of the beginning for me. She let me know in no uncertain terms that everything I did affected those who loved me & I had no choice in the matter because they would never stop loving me. It’s not that I thought unconditional love was a free pass but I hadn’t sorted the truth. It’s a responsibility.

“Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope too, can be given to one only by other human beings.”
~ Elie Wiesel ~

If we affect others without even trying, imagine the impact we can have on ourselves. The brilliance of my Grandma-given epiphany was that she specifically did not say I was hurting those I love, forcing me to face that the ripples were out of my control. When we’re struggling — be it financially, physically or psychologically — we tend to think we can limit the collateral damage by withdrawing. The reality is that we can’t make progress from that inward stance & those who are invested in us are already along for the ride. Whatever our progress or lack thereof, if we remember we’re not traveling alone, won’t we want to make the most of the trip?

Take life on, take others for who they really are & take in the good while accepting the bad so that you too can live as my Grandma did. Never one to hold back her opinions or not pursue her own interests, she learned to balance those needs with kindness & patience. She may have never gotten to live at the beach but she loved her community & there were things she didn’t accomplish but she whole-heartedly enjoyed the things she did. Always the better reflection of me, she’s put me back on track one final time & will always light my way. I’m used to having two mothers to call on this important holiday; instead, my mum & I will honor the one we shared by living our lives anew & making it a fun journey for all involved.

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”
~ Yiddish Proverb ~

We’ll start with a little silliness..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather
[or grandmother] was.”
~ Abraham Lincoln [Grandma's hero, beside Granddad] ~

We are blessed to have known her

She made our lives rich – vibrant – better

She was our mother – our grandmother – our friend

wife – sister – aunt

She’s gone on now, to be with those who wait for us

and look over us and pray for us

She knows and understands and loves all the more

and she shall be dearly missed

Beulah “Peg” Dorey

1923 – 2009

We love you

“Always too soon, even when right
time runs out despite our best denial
amidst feeling cheated, reason unable to reign
made incomplete by loss yet more complete
for knowing her”
dorian

“Don’t curse the darkness – light a candle.”
~ Chinese Proverb ~
(we all have light to lend & light sources to draw from,
find what ignites you)

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple.
Take it and copy it.”
~ Anatole France ~

PS: While my quotationary-inspired posts have been on hold, I still pin, plus, tumbl or tweet quotationaries & encouragement fairly often. ~_^

What the Hell’s so special about December? Absolutely nothing. Calendars are changed time & again, traditions are tweaked over the years & holidays are moved about as if in competition. Thus, it’s not the month, the time of year nor even the holidays being celebrated we should give a damn about. It’s the opportunity to do so. Although those opportunities aren’t equally distributed across countries or throughout various job descriptions, the emphasis on the very things we should be giving particular attention to year round is just about universal. Let’s not look a gift horse in its proverbial mouth.

Hi there, horse called gift, what mouth? I just appreciate YOU! These intersecting holidays, traditions & family gatherings that come at the end of every year have brilliant timing. What better way to wrap up one year & prepare for the next?! It’s not about resolutions but rather refining the resolution in which you view your life. Our lives are not only larger pictures made of smaller panes but are each a small pane in the larger picture that is the world. That creates two important responsibilities. Regardless of our personal level of awareness, we are world citizens & yet must heed the needs in our own lives in order to have anything to give.

Give yourself the best gift of all — take stock. By focusing on what’s most important to you, you’ll know what to spend your time on through the holidays & every day as well as what goals to work toward in the new year. It’s the simplest equation in life; by prioritizing the things that matter, we have more time to enjoy & make the most of them. You may not be looking for or even want change but you most likely do want a continuation of what’s good in your life. That’s only possible by supporting those very things (& people). Beyond not taking all we value for granted, neither can we take for granted what is & isn’t possible. Question your status quo.

“What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal,
and that every path may lead to peace.”
~ Agnes M. Pharo ~

We’ve got a shitload of celebrating going on & a practically universal focus on all the salient issues.. As I said last year, take advantage:

Be it merry or happy, Chanukah or Advent, Kwanzaa or Boxing Day, Winter Solstice or multiple choice; may the season hold both meaning & moments of joy. Whether you’re recreating traditions or creating new ones, have spent too much or have nothing to spend, what’s clear & what matters is taking the time to reflect. What do you believe, what are you open to &, moreover, who do you love but, most importantly, how are you showing it? From taking time to be kind to yourself to the thoughtfulness you’re showing to those around you, it’s not that December has a corner on the market nor should but with all these holidays intertwining; take advantage, people! [Do read the rest, if you haven't already.]

My own life has changed this past year yet stayed the same in important ways. I lost Taz but gained Pagan, Dave lost the job that made our new home possible but is following his heart, we had to forgive ourselves the debts & accept the miracles but still have no furniture. What we’re always striving for are small but effective changes, sustainable choices & a continued focus on only that which improves our lives. Whatever your take on those ideals, seize this opportunity to set aside anything that’s not adding to your overall happiness. From how we celebrate the holidays themselves to what we plan for our futures, let’s not be afraid of failure nor let ourselves be derailed by it. If anything, it should rerail us.

Failing towards success: Discover what doesn’t work & let it go. If anything goes wrong (or less than right — read “not as planned”) this holiday, laugh it off & look past it to the heart of the matter. The same goes for our day-to-day living. Use your plans as guidelines, your dreams as goals & add in something just for yourself each day. Let those “selfish” moments fuel all the selfless ones while that emerging balance begins to define all you do. Have a Hell of a Happy Merry Christmaskah-Advanzaa-Boxing Solstice &, when the gift horse bucks you, just climb back on.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays–let them overtake me unexpectedly–waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: ‘Why this is Christmas Day!’”
~ Ray Stannard Baker ~

PS: Perhaps the most significant change this Xmas is that it’ll be spent w/family for the first time in many years! RhodesTer & I have always worked jobs that only get busier this time of year; had he not been laid off, he would’ve been working til midnight both Christmas Eve & Christmas..

“The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.”
~ Burton Hillis ~

Surely those options scarcely differ yet they do strike me differently. Either I’m fundamentally grateful & thankful for that disposition or I’ve ascertained there’s much to be thankful for & am grateful I have. We may each innately lean one direction or the other; either appreciative at the outset or reminding ourselves why we should be. We’re more likely in constant flux between the two. With RhodesTer, for example, there are times when I gratefully tell my husband how lucky I am to be married to my best friend while, at other times, I’m thankful to have a best friend that knows my husband so well — typically when I’m baffled by him. I practically can’t help but see the best in people & things, no doubt due to being raised to seek the best in myself. I’m also wholly & constantly aware that every silver lining has a cloud (w/props to Eeyore).

Being a realistic optimist — a Pollyanna with a dark side, if you will — I have an abiding trust that there is a greater good. Balance is a necessary state of existence throughout the universe thus all that good gets served on one hellacious platter known as the human condition. All people & things do have that inherent greatness within I can’t help look for but are also incredibly flawed. Were I an optimistic realist, I’d no doubt look right past those flaws & rejoice in whatever goodness I found. The thing is, I want to rejoice in both. I want to accept everything gratefully, just for what it is; no more, no less. Our wholeness comes from our conflict, our brilliance from our struggles, our beauty from our flaws.. How else could the whole be greater than its parts? Oh how it is tho’, oh how it is!

Our focus affects our attitude & our attitude affects everything. Happiness is a choice, love is an action & gratitude is the key to both. Many are striving to achieve happiness, forgetting that — if they can’t be happy now — they’ll never learn to be. Love &, more importantly, unconditional love is doubted by even those who’ve received it. Sadly, that’s a failure of the imagination for they simply cannot imagine their flaws are as loveable as their potential. When we let ourselves believe that worth comes from potential, we end up believing it’s the fulfillment of purpose &/or person that is appreciated. The assumption is that it’s each accomplishment, within or without, that earns appreciation & love. The reality is what we do well doesn’t mean a damn without a backdrop of failure. Who we are at any given time, for better or worse, is part & parcel of who we’re meant to be.

The alcoholic teen I once was made a choice I’m grateful for, to walk the talk & talk her heart which led to laying who she was on the line with a take-it-or-leave-it approach. No half-assed appreciation of me anymore, from myself or others. I’d far, far rather earn disdain as readily as any admiration. Working to redirect my addictive tendencies led to encounters with people who were thankful for their sobriety but had never imbibed!? How the Hell can you appreciate accomplishing something (clean-living) when you’ve never been unable to (self-destructive)?! By all means be grateful for any freedom from addiction you may enjoy but don’t you dare take pride in steering clear when it was not a struggle to do so. We all have something to be proud of so find that. Share that. Allow me to see where you’ve struggled; let me love you for just how human you are & how far you’ve come.

Everything we experience & all that we’re going through deserves the same consideration. The souls & situations present along our journey are lending their energy, their challenges, their very beings to our becoming. Is there anything we could or should be more grateful for? Peruse the clouds surrounding you, from those hosting rainbows to the fog banks, & explore the silver linings. There’s so much to give thanks for & much to learn from even the darkest clouds. If you just can’t find the bright side to any of them & have no reason to trust one will appear, that particular cloud doesn’t belong in your life. Give thanks for that discovery & start working towards its dissipation. Take hold of all the brightness you find & allow yourself to really feel it for that’s happiness. Happiness, love & worth are ever-present; it’s up to us to be open to them & make room for them. As to whether you’re first grateful or thankful, simply allow yourself to be both. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all I have to be grateful for.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today
and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
~ Melody Beattie ~

PS: Please open this Thanksgiving card before you go.. “Thank YOU!”

Ay, there’s the rub; We compromise the quality of our lives when we don’t include quality rest. Many find it difficult to stop, to be still — within & without — yet we must. There’s no timetable but if we refuse to step down periodically, our bodies will eventually throw us down. Even with wonky health, I wasn’t slammed squarely into a bed I could scarcely get out of til well into my twenties. By incorporating rest & slowing the fuck down, I no longer have to rest constantly (even if still a lot).

“Sometimes the most urgent thing you can possibly do
is take a complete rest.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
(downtime’s part & parcel of our uptime)

Just to keep me on track, I do still get thrown back into bed now & again. I landed there with an extended opportunity for downtime these past two weeks in fact & it did my body a necessary good to simply rest. My fever had spiked & it took the two weeks for it to completely break. Although the fever lessened each day, other symptoms kept me down for the count. My wee laptop typically enables me to stay online despite the myriad symptoms I experience each day but not when they worsen & collide.

“It is not good for all our wishes to be filled;
through sickness we recognize the value of health;
through evil, the value of good;
through hunger, the value of food;
through exertion, the value of rest.”
~ Dorothy Canfield ~

I’ve long since had to learn to heed my body’s need for downtime & learned to relish the balance incorporating it into my days created. Every time we break from routine, we give our mind a needed break. All it takes to give your mind & body the rest they not only deserve but need is just one chapter of a book or a single TV show Tivo’d. Whatever your poison, it won’t always be possible but take/make time for yourself & strive for that much needed out each day.

No matter how busy you might be, there is time in your day that you can divert to your own purposes. You can prioritize. You can incorporate simple pleasures and rituals of relaxation and regeneration into your regimen. The important thing is to wave relaxation into the fabric of your life. Like eating, breathing or sleeping, it is essential to your well-being.

There are things you can easily do that will bring you to a more centered, settled and healthful state of being. And nothing will affect your life more. The important thing to realize is that you control your life. You make it what you want it to be. By affecting the little things on a daily basis that you have control over, your whole life changes.

…[see ways to slow down and take time for yourself by Karen Adjmi]…

Give yourself the time and attention you deserve. When you do that, you’ll have a room of your own at the center of your life where there is peace and where the face you see in the mirror is beautifully relaxed.

Actual rest is potent stuff, restorative in the smallest doses & cumulative to boot. Never underestimate the benefits nor short-change yourself by not making downtime a priority. One thing I came to terms with this past week — once staying offline was as much a choice as not — was the blessing in disguise a vacation from the onslaught of information can be. This is practically blasphemous for me to assert, especially as I’d have no life to speak of without the internet, but the forced change of focus was a relief.

SlowDownNow.org‘s Manifesto:

If you can slow down when all around you are speeding up, then you’re one of us. Be proud that you are one of us and not one of them. For they are fast, and we are slow. There are those that would urge us to speed. We resist!

We shall not flag or fail. We shall slow down in the office, and on the roads. We shall slow down with growing confidence when all those around us are in a shrill state of hyperactivity (signifying nothing). We shall defend our state of calm, whatever the cost may be. We shall slow down in the fields and in the streets, we shall slow down in the hills, we shall never surrender!

Why? Because if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing slowly. Some are born to slowness—others have it thrust upon them. And still others know that lying in bed with a morning cup of tea is the supreme state for mankind.

So, welcome back.. er.. Welcome, anyhow, now that I’m back. I’ve used this recent time of restoration to create yet more healthy habits thus my health should actually improve as a result. What doesn’t kill us can make us stronger if we use it. What also makes us stronger are the simple goals we set for ourselves; we’re remade with each one achieved. As important as it is to live each day to its fullest, we must also live toward a sustainable future & the key is to start that future today, even in the smallest way.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Taking time to rest improves the rest of our time.”
~ Dorian Rhodes ~

Halloween is an opportunity waiting to be seized; not only to let our imaginations run free but as a meeting of minds. Originally celebrating summer’s end, over time — as holidays are wont to do — it got hijacked became more. Having long been a festival of the dead & now the lead-in to All Saints’ Day & All Souls’ Day, those whose Eve this is are a hallowed bunch. Always a celebration of spirits, as cultures merged, it also became spiritual. It’s marvelous mesh of ancient & religious traditions dates back to the pre-Christian Celtic calendar since its year ended on 31 October, the eve of Samhain (pronounced SOWin); celebrated with religious & harvest rites together. Samhain is also the name for November in the modern Scots Gaelic and Irish languages.

Consistently a time to celebrate harvest & honor the dead, All Hallows’ Eve is also about the protection of the living. For many, this night is a time to face fears, literal as well as figurative, & we’ll never make the most of these mortal lives without that willingness. Many who are more conservative in their beliefs cite religion as cause to ban or boycott Halloween but even Christmas & Easter have each been banned for religious reasons. When we recognize Religion as the human construct with which we grapple huge Truths, its varied forms & extreme fallibility make sense if still maddening saddening. Any exploration of truth should have no — & needs no — boundaries. I do believe in an ultimate Truth but that very belief dictates more possibilities encompassed by such an origin than we can imagine.

Like anything, this holiday’s what you make it thus its traditions should be afforded respect & understood rather than feared. Celebrating strictly from an occult perspective is dangerous, given the forces at play, but intention comes into play too. Trying to eliminate or avoid any occult associations becomes equally dangerous by ignoring very real powers that be & peddling fear. We’re creatures that require balance, living in a world striving to maintain that balance so it’s extremes we ought to be wary of. The more I understand of God, the less I find it possible to fear anything. A foundation of faith needs to foster appreciation for all we humans have wrought not to mention all that exists beyond us.

True to the spirit of this holiday, El Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) represents a mixture of Christian devotion with Pre-Hispanic traditions & beliefs. The result of Catholic Spaniards & the native Aztecs in what has since become Mexico influencing each other, it continues to incorporate other cultures. Every culture in its own time & distinct fashion has come to understand Truth. Whenever we try to segregate those truths or traditions, we lose much of what it truly means to be part of the human race. We are all one & most dynamic when our traditions are kept alive — in a phenomenal, thought-provoking, life- (& death-) honoring mix.

May we enjoy this hallowed eve, appreciate everyone’s pursuit of holiness & proudly honor the dead with respect for each other, our cultures & an openness to other traditions insofar as it affords us all
a Hell of a good time.

(|_|*Happy Hallowe’en*|_|)
“One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.”
~ Emily Dickinson ~

PS: Now that I’ve tricked you into thinking, here are a few treats..

1. Blogging Halloween Part I by @BloggersBlog
2. 20+ Ways to Enjoy Halloween Online on @Mashable
3. The 7 Types of Pet Costumes from @CuteOverload

Perspectives have been written, definitions offered & statistics studied yet, amidst it all, two things hold true; poverty is more widespread than people realize & there, but for any moment’s given grace, go all. We’ve all suffered setbacks, perhaps even encountered a chain reaction of them & our successes are as attributable to us as made possible by circumstance. Although our individual brands of success aren’t just the luck of the draw, each draw plays its part.

“In a country well governed,
poverty is something to be ashamed of.
In a country badly governed,
wealth is something to be ashamed of.”
~ Confucius ~

“If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions, great is our sin.”
~ Charles Darwin ~

Location, location, location. As with any money-making endeavor, it plays a huge role. Locale not only impacts our solvency but changes the scale on which it’s measured. Due to living in the United States, there’s a level of poverty I’ll never know for even homelessness here is not without clean water & the refuse of the wasteful. In turn, what money we manage to make does surprisingly little in this ridiculously (if falsely) rich country of mine.

“We have grown literally afraid to be poor. We despise anyone who elects to be poor in order to simplify and save his inner life. If he does not join the general scramble and pant with the money-making street, we deem him spiritless and lacking in ambition.”
~ William James ~

“You are going to let the fear of poverty govern your life
and your reward will be that you will eat,
but you will not live.”
~ George Bernard Shaw ~

When inherent value is ascribed to a place, its people are valued accordingly. The resulting range of presumption leading to prejudice cuts both ways. RhodesTer & I are oft assumed better off then we are, based solely on where we live. Devaluing areas like New Orleans & so-called third world countries which are all amazingly rich in culture is equally backwards. Whether living someplace you can scarcely afford or where survival is scarcely affordable, benefits do exist but are never financial.

“Poverty is no disgrace to a man,
but it is confoundedly inconvenient.”
~ Sydney Smith, ‘His Wit and Wisdom’ ~

“As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

“You can turn painful situations around through laughter.
If you can find humor in anything,
even poverty, you can survive it.”
~ Bill Cosby ~

Riches that aren’t monetary need greater priority, not only in seeking them for ourselves but ensuring them for all. It’s possible that love, self-worth & fulfillment aren’t rights but we can’t truly live without them. By recognizing those as the worthy goals & true measurements of success, we’ll better understand how to foster survival for all people in all circumstances. In both our own lives & the aid we hope to give, it’s the small acts that sow magnificent change.

“Empty pockets never held anyone back.
Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

“The poor man is not he who is without a cent,
but he who is without a dream.”
~ Harry Kemp ~

“Who, being loved, is poor?”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

Poverty is never a lack of things but is any lack of sustainability. Each accomplishment matters & every gift makes a difference yet they must be part of a greater good to have a lasting impact. Although still [monetarily] poor, my hunny & I are defeating various forms of poverty. From spending what little we have on healthier food to not spending what little we have on a bed when we also need a sofa, our choices may not readily change our circumstances but do improve our chances.

“My poverty is not complete: it lacks me.”
~ Antonio Porchia, ‘Voces’ ~

“Poor and content is rich, and rich enough.”
~ William Shakespeare ~

“They say it is better to be poor and happy
than rich and miserable,
but how about a compromise
like moderately rich and just moody?”
~ Princess Diana ~

As a people, the populace of this planet, we’re called upon to take this crazy ride called life together. Look beyond circumstances without ignoring difficulties to see people for who they are & understand their needs simply are. In recognizing our own blessings, regardless of the trappings, we can’t help but want to enrich any other life we can. The miraculous thing is that there’s not a life we can’t touch & we already affect more lives than we realize. Let’s invest in each other’s wealth of being.

“The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other.
It is not, as poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity,
but of a set of priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently, the modern poor are not pitied…but written off as trash. The twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for which a beggar is a reminder of nothing.”
~ John Berger ~

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“However mean your life is, meet it and live it:
do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

If I could say only two words to you, they’d be thank you. Since I can no longer say anything directly to you, why stop at two? I always had more to say than you did so this refusal to yield will come as no surprise to you. A refusal to yield is, in fact, something we had in common. I can only hope to match your unyielding faith, loyalty & defense of those you loved thus were loyal to. Your quiet yet fierce determination to do your part showed in your amazing self-sufficiency as well as your selfless care for others. The latter was extended to whomever was in need, known & unknown alike, but especially to your son. RhodesTer, who you raised & eventually let me borrow in turn, embodies your best qualities.

You didn’t readily entrust me with your only child which just made the trust won in the end that much more meaningful. While I can’t help but mourn not getting to know each other until the end of your life, I wouldn’t trade in that opportunity or even its timing. If not for the crazy circumstances that brought Dave & I to live with you in 1993, you & I would never have come to appreciate each other. Worse yet, you would have died alone. It’s not a worthy excuse for losing you a month shy of your sixtieth birthday but there’s no other conceivable time we would’ve — or could’ve — been there. The day you were meant to turn 60, I celebrated my own milestone.. 25. I started the next quarter century of my life while sorting yours & with a husband in deep mourning.

Being born on the same date implies similar personalities; we were likely more alike than we ever realized. Despite our glaring differences, I think we’re remarkably similar at the core. I was an avid list-maker & pack-rat til I spent a year making sense of your many lists & boxes upon boxes upon chests full. While you inadvertently taught me to let go of the mundane, you ensured the sublime was held tighter. From the stunningly perfect-for-me sheets found in one of those chests, presumably awaiting our shared birthday, to the unwitting regifting of dear Rufus, the pup we’d given you our first Christmas together; you continued to care for us in your absence. In the wake of losing you, our commitment to each other & determination to take no moment for granted were crystallized.

You were one who gave til it hurt & we also learned from that. Experiencing how those for whom you’d sacrificed treated your memory was by far the hardest part of tending to your affairs. The so-called relationships lost without you as the glue helped us to sever future ties that weren’t healthy as well. Your life was a testament to actions being louder than words & inspires us still. Of all the lessons & affirmations received from you though, nothing can match how seriously you took the meaning of your son’s name — “beloved” is exactly what he is & should be. Your David, my Dave, the blogosphere’s RhodesTer inspired our most precious commonality for he was chosen by both of us; each knowing that no-one else would or could make us as happy. That phenomenal heart of yours failed you suddenly on this day nearly 20 years ago & far too soon but, OH, it was well used..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“There is in all this world
no fount of deep, strong,
deathless love,
save that within
a mother’s heart.”
~ Felicia Hemans ~

PS: Thank you!

..I kick ass! An audience of one is sufficient to make a difference. Were my hunny the extent of that audience, I’d still have a reach that matters for such support is not to be taken lightly. Knowing neither of us offers compliments to be naught but nice though, RhodesTer declaring me a “kick-ass blogger” makes me damn proud.

The hella cool madness of it all is I do have an audience. As I’ve expressed, I’m here because I’m addicted to people — not just coffee — & this is my virtual café. I’ve had a simultaneously good & odd life that’s allowed me to turn my thirst for knowledge into wee bits of wisdom. There’s nothing I enjoy more than sitting down over a beverage with someone & shooting the shit, from the sublime to the silly. With each post, I take a break from behind the counter; with every comment, you grab a table & stay a while; meanwhile, we all come & go, topping up our mugs as needed.

Bonus of all bonuses, by including my WordPress.COM blog — along with this WordPress.ORG concoction — as further proof of my ass-kicking, my hunny introduced the fledgling endeavor to the blogosphere. Over the years, that domain was a consistent means of finding me online but this blog is my permanent home away from home. Determined “coffeesister.com” should remain an introduction to me & tired of being a poet without poems, my old domain now complements this one by providing an outlet for more spontaneous missives.

To continue the complimenting & complementing alike, it’s time to do as MammaDawg asks (cuz Mamma said so):

Do you know any bloggers that kick ass?

Maybe they’ve got incredible, original content. Or they’re overflowing with creativity. Is it someone that helps you become a better blogger? Or a bloggy friend you know you can count on? Or maybe it’s someone who simply inspires you to be a better person… or someone else who sends you to the floor, laughing your ass off.

Whatever the reason may be, I’m sure you know at least a couple of bloggers that kick ass. Well… why not tell ‘em so?

LOVE ON ‘EM

• Choose 5 bloggers that you feel are “Kick Ass Bloggers”
• Let ‘em know in your post or via email, twitter or blog comments that they’ve received an award
• Share the love and link back to both the person who awarded you and back to www.mammadawg.com

I’ve already shared the Twitter love so I’m going to offer up some EntreLove this time. If you’ve ever clicked through from ad to ad, you know how hit & miss the EntreCard network can be. There are some kick ass blogs to be found along the way though. Case in point is CopyWrite which is where RhodesTer’s ass-kicking status originated &, considering the source, it’s quite the compliment indeed. Since the hidden gems are what ultimately make “card-dropping” worthwhile, I’m presenting five blogs that I not only found via EntreCard but wouldn’t have found otherwise.

1. Bittersweet Collide
   Sighs & thoughts of a vagabond and love convict — turned into words.
2. Photography and Writing
   Photos & info gathered on the journey to be a professional photographer.
3. PoeARTica
   Each month a contributor’s poem or short story is featured w/a short bio.
4. Soul Meets World
   Reconditioning the human condition and rewriting life’s drama with love.
5. un1versal sessions
   A poet inspired by life’s ebb and flow & their interaction upon mankind.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Blogging is an art, same as any other method of self-expression.
Some are better at it than others.”
~ Hugh Macleod ~
(consider gapingvoid a bonus blog for it does kick ass)

What’s your freedom? Last Friday was Independence Day, Canada Day was the Tuesday before & this coming Monday is Bastille Day. That’s a hell of a lot of freedom being celebrated this month. Whether mindful of existing freedoms or aware of any lack thereof, July offers food for thought. It was also this month that a certain crash occurred in Roswell, New Mexico. That same year, 1947, my grandparents married; the two events may or not be related. Both were pivotal moments of freedom though. Roswell exemplifies our freedom, not to mention need, to question government as well as what possibilities the universe holds. Equally existential for me is the marriage of Don & Peg Dorey, made possible by Grandma’s freedom to remarry.

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed;
it must be achieved.”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Free to choose again, to be, to explore, to question, to celebrate; freedoms come in all sizes. The Fourth of July is the day the US (then Continental) Congress adopted The Declaration of Independence, wherein we “declare[d] the United Colonies free and independent States, absolved from allegiance to or dependence on the Crown or Parliament of Great Britain…” Canada Day, on the other hand, didn’t declare separation from Britain but celebrated the creation of the Dominion (the holiday’s original name) of Canada, making them self-governing. Then there’s Bastille Day which marked the beginning of the French Revolution & the end of absolute monarchy with the storming of a prison — a powerful symbol of liberty.

“Order without liberty and liberty without order
are equally destructive.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt ~

Be it by separation, self-empowerment or force, independence can be established a myriad of ways. Throughout high school, I often asserted mine by running away. I was never gone long for, willing as I was to put my mum through Hell, I wasn’t willing to subject her to the lower circles. Continuing the theme, I moved out at 17. A year later, once my ward had graduated, I moved back due to illness & debt but with new rules, the most important of which was my own entrance. My family was down a Ping-Pong table & up a fiercely independent teen who’d just lost her independence. Or had I? One day, I found a Post-It Momma had put on my desk which was not uncommon but this one had a message I never forgot.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

True independence is a state of mind not of being. There could not have been a more powerful or timely epiphany yet my mum maintained she learned it by watching me. After years of trying to prove my independence, confusing it with self-reliance, it wasn’t until it seemed out of reach — as true with so much — that I started claiming it. Forced to abandon preconceived notions, my freedoms were being established in unexpected & more significant ways. I was communicating, rebuilding relationships, giving back, taking the support I needed, living my own life while considerate of others. Although not the freedom I’d ever envisioned, I was becoming truer to myself everyday. That truth needed to take root within before it could be expressed without.

“We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.”
~ William Faulkner ~

Forays into freedom are certainly part of the process yet freedoms are too easily bartered the more there is at stake. There are so many we, as a society, have yet to establish, making those we try to protect that much more precious. For all the freedoms we are given, lose, have yet to gain or give away, none matter as much as what we establish for ourselves. Thankfully, there will always be those marvelous troublemakers that will take the creation of liberty to the next level & help ensure others share in the experience. Even those who affect the greater good had to effect their own change first. So it is with all of us. As Gandhi said, we must be the change we wish to see in the world. We need to claim the freedoms that feed our souls.

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
~ Moshe Dayan ~

Find your freedom. If there’s any reason you’re not free to be yourself, you’re not free. If you’re independently wealthy but not independent in thought, you’re not free. If you’re maintaining control without finding contentment, you’re not free. When your life is not your own but your actions are, you’re free. When the world is not your oyster but you’ve found a pearl, you’re free. While the big picture is indeed important, the panes it’s made of are crucial. Look at the individual pieces of your life puzzle &, à la Sesame Street, watch for what doesn’t belong. What small freedom could or have you established for yourself that would or did make a huge difference? I recently admitted I wasn’t willing ready to work, freeing myself to keep getting better well. When life’s difficult but there’s hope, we’re free.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
~ Oscar Wilde ~

Ever have one of those lives? We all have blessings others don’t & curses that differ from each other but also have more in common than meets the eye. A nice example is my fairly newfound friend Charee; I’ve never been business-minded & she has better health than I but we feel a kinship, strongly relating despite our differences. One of the many things we do have in common is an appreciation for Fiona Apple who wisely asserts two states of being in her song, “Extraordinary Machine.”

“I’m good at being uncomfortable so I can’t stop changing all the time.” Always exploring, never settling, my life’s indeed a journey yet that doesn’t keep me from enjoying the various stages. As with any travel plans, delays occur. I could get caught up in the lack of progress being made or simply enjoy the detours. Part of the mystique that is Charee is her openness to life’s oddities despite a more regimented routine. Our choices direct our travel but we’re also simply along for the ride. There are those who can’t reconcile the ever-present yin & yang of all we are & do.

“He’s no good at being uncomfortable so he can’t stop staying exactly the same.” Thus, they shield themselves. The most common shielding comes in the form of preoccupation — be it with goals, busyness, problem finding & solving — the blinders stay firmly in place. If you come across someone that’s not struggling in some way, chances are they’re not delving deep enough to stir up trouble. Then there’s the rest of us.. Our war zones vary & our battles require differing armament but we’re together in the trenches.

Willing to question, provoke & change; we uncover new possibilities, recover old truths & discover ourselves. The key to navigating the inevitable upheaval is not to get discouraged for resolution’s also inevitable. We don’t need to protect ourselves from chaos so much as learn not to take it on as our own. We can take responsibility without shouldering blame by focusing on the wherefores not the “where’d I go wrongs?” Already opting to post weekly til my blog’s on WordPress, I skipped a week. Worse yet, I didn’t use that time as intended.

My health had its say in that pseudo-decision, as did the need/desire to catch up on replying to comments before generating more. Alas, I only finished answering comments on the post I’d been answering the week before but they are loverly & worthy of replacing posting a week ago. Recognizing that I’m currently anemic & suffering — as my mum aptly called it — an energy crisis, I choose to continue on as I’m able; no more, no less. Despite my love of comments & replying to them, the brain fog I’ve endured for the last two weeks existed.

That’s right, it existed, it simply did. That’s all there is to it; I accept it, learn from it (I’m eliminating what processed foods I can.) & move on. Living surprisingly decently right at the poverty line still clarifies the vicious cycle poverty is. The impact on health alone is no small one; not owning a bed or being able to afford decent food keeps stamina at a minimum for anyone. Although I hate to cry “poor me,” such realities create a downward trend with my already ailing health. Since we’ve all had struggles & distractions, let’s dialog, setting our struggles aside & making our distractions worthwhile. Comments? Comments, anyone? I will answer.. eventually..

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Transformation contains both change and stability, plurality and unity, movement and constancy. It has the nature of life, namely, to connect organically the polar opposites, the stumbling blocks of logic, and to unite them in an all embracing rhythm.”
~ Lama Govinda ~

No matter how elusive luck is, we never stop seeking it &
can’t help hoping for it — nor should we. That watchfulness keeps us aware of opportunities & the hope gives us the courage to take chances. By believing in a bit of luck, we stay open to things beyond the sum of our experiences. Whether luck is something we carry within or encounter, it’s what we make of it. This was Friday the 13th & the mythos alone of such a date gives it a unique energy. What did you make of it?

Just as we create our own luck, we shape our experiences. Dates of personal significance also have an energy that can be tapped into, if not more so. Anything that goes awry on a birthday seems worse than it would any other day but the trade off is that the small goodnesses translate as greatnesses. Perhaps that’s why RhodesTer & I don’t make plans for our celebratory days. We keep the goals simple & let the appropriate druthers dictate the day, or days, or weeks if it’s June.

A two week distraction from me my own goals & intentions culminating on an infamously dated Friday spent almost entirely on Stickam has left me just as horribly wonderfully behind as I feared expected. The time spent offline for our anniversary led to a better balance of off/online time aka being offline for more than sleep. Once I’m not catering to a birthday boy’s whims, that may actually lead to a bit of homemaking which is no doubt what he wished when blowing out the candle.

My blog comments mean the world to me thus not replying these last two weeks was disappointing, even difficult. I’m humbled that comments were still made & I hope more will be yet as I’ll be replying over the weekend. As of publishing my first ever link love post, I promptly quit focusing on myself (i.e. this blog), leaving all the marvelous reciprocal haiku hanging. Lo, the love’s seemed a little lackluster of late (Did I forget the alliteration alert?) but your patience is about to pay off.

Too much of a good thing doesn’t necessarily constitute a bad thing. Although a bout of bad luck helped create the near neglect of my blog, it was amidst an abundance of good luck. Every yin must have its yang so perhaps it’s simply the perfect balance of luck that’s elusive. Just as we took time to celebrate recently, find your own significant ways of celebrating fatherhood this weekend — while I’m pouring myself back into Drinking Deeply — then continue the flow with a comment or two.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“I am a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work
the more I have of it.”
~ Stephen Leacock ~

Energy is our most valuable resource. Our physical & mental stores of it ebb, flow & feed off each other. That’s why the attitudes we choose make such a difference; like an adrenalin rush, a determined mindset will compensate for waning physical strength. In turn, feeling refreshed will help us carry on when our minds become clouded. Since neither option is sustainable, refueling must include food for thought & thought of food. From the quick jump-starts that come in the form of a healthy snack — which does include coffee, I’ll have you know — to full-blown overhauls, we must regularly indulge in those things which feed our souls while remembering to feed ourselves along the way.

That which excites the mind propels us but the momentum isn’t self-sustaining. We need to physically support that momentum to avoid running on fumes or overheating which is why rest is as important as fuel. Rather than take breaks only as needed, stay open to positive interruptions & schedule in downtime. Our lives are picture windows but made of individually framed panes. We need to step away from the pane that has our focus to bring other panes back into view. It’s from that vantage point that balance becomes possible, enabling us to use energy more efficiently. Energy is also our most renewable resource & the key to building our reserves is learning how often we each need to recharge.

Those marvelous Men with Pens addressed this need, hopefully inspiring bloggers to ask themselves if they’re just maintaining momentum or posting with motivation. I’ve always opted to post at least weeklyish & having my own computer allowed me to start posting twice a week. Better scheduled programming is brewing but, like the Pen Men, I need to focus on other panes in my window of life just now. My Anniversary prompted a couple days offline as will Rhodester’s birthday (Monday, people, Monday..) & it’s time to finish up our migration to WordPress. I’ll also be setting aside some Tivo time as my addiction to reading James’ & Harry’s Escaping Reality has reawakened my need for fiction.

Only by recognizing our own needs can we serve others’ & find the energy for either. Thus, my coffee breaks will still be spent lurking & tweeting if not plurking. I’ll no doubt need to call on those of you with WordPress experience & then on the rest of you for a break from the madness. Offline friends are few & far between for me as the connections & reconnections I have with people I’ve physically met are made possible via my internet connection too so there’s little distinction. Seeing each of you as a friend — with those who haven’t commented or tweeted my direction simply being the ones I haven’t met yet — is why I can appreciate a meme now & again. So, blame Bob or thank him:

4 jobs I’ve had

• fashion show coordinator
• optometrist’s assistant
• retail manager
• stage manager

4 movies I can watch over & over

• The Abyss
• Alien Quadrilogy
• The Fifth Element
• A Knight’s Tale

4 places I’ve lived

• Ashland, OR
• Hollywood, CA
• Huntington Beach, CA
• Palm Springs, CA

4 [current] TV shows I love

• Criminal Minds
• House
• NCIS
• NUMB3RS

4 places I’ve been on vacation

• Paris w/weekends in Edinburgh & London
• San Diego, CA (RhodesTer also once lived there)
• Seattle, WA w/a hop to Victoria, BC
• Walt Disney World (have yet to take Rhodester)

4 of my favorite dishes

• Bagel & Lox w/capers
• Hangtown Fry
• Spinach Quiche
• Spring Salad (Walnuts, Gorgonzola & Cranberries)

4 websites I [could] visit daily

• Astronomy Picture of the Day
• Cognitive Daily
• The Quote Garden
• Six Sentences

4 places I’d rather be now

• a beach w/a bonfire
• Porterville Convalescent Hospital
• San Francisco, CA
• Scotland (Hi Christopher!)

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread
beyond all boundaries.”
~ Sister Corita Kent ~

Lookin’ for a little link love?! You may not have thought so but who can resist alliteration? Not I! Nor can I resist some well-placed love. The link lovin’ has been widespread lately, from Carolyn’s ingenious ‘Once Upon a Bloggy Night’ link meme through Harry’s excellent response to Bob’s thoughtful consideration of how best to do link posts. From the standpoint that there can never be enough love, I’m continuing the trend. This here first link post o’ mine will contain the blogs I read consistently via my personalized link aggregator; to wit, Twitter.

Failing to find the link from one “Found Fridays” post to the next? With a splash more alliteration & while speaking of linkage, I’m also taking this chance to reconsider my series of “Friday Finds.” The series/category was established to share each week’s found moments, either within or online. Although I am sharing my finds from week to week, there’s no consistency to the type of post it creates. I’d love feedback from those of you who’ve read more than one as I will be changing things up & will also be making Drink Deeply more interactive over time.

Take a tour of bloggers I follow on Twitter via the text links & discover the Twitterers behind the blogs via the avatars..

failing and vikings
Brett meets challenges bravely
6 Weeks at a time

tweets, family, peeps
Carolyn Bahm‘s a dot com
reader, writer, friend

Brian and his quotes
Copyblogger gives good guest
advice worth reading

fictional finesse
expressing How Not To Write
Jamie keeps it real

Gail highlights our best
to Inspire Me Today™
with more to explore

Naomi’s got game
telling insanity off
IttyBiz or not

positive ripples
Life’s Little Inspirations
Wendi’s finding them

Jim, René, Jerry
Live.Work.Dream. to love.laugh.teach.
all on seven legs

randomly helpful
Elle’s observations and finds
reveal Lolo’s Way

pens wielded, blogs saved
front-man James trades barbs and wit
half the Men with Pens

balanced by Harry
both wise and fantasy-filled
he lends mirth, reason

MindTweaks sought then shared
curious and questioning
Tori explores self

Omyword! she’s fun
honest and hilarious
Lisa’s journeying

quotes, queries, insights
Paulo Coelho’s blogging
ready to connect

Darren’s instructive
ProBlogger experience
humanly offered

Remarkablogger!
Michael considers details
reaching past the page

tho’ poignant at times
he couldn’t be funnier
that RhodesTer o’ mine

Dave’ll Rock Your Day
no holds barred nor punches pulled
just self-improvement

swordplay, grammar, drinks
straight-shootin’ Tei saves the day
with Rogue Ink to spare

interests galore
Scott’s Spiritual Tramping
brought his own angels

SwanShadow reflects
commentary, comic art
wry sense of humor

writers are dreaming
via Bob’s Writing Journey
dreamers are writing

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
great people sharing
I’m found in and by these sites
ideas opened

You chose to stop by & I thank you! I chose to write & you may even thank me. Our gratitude is for each other’s choices, if also for each other.. It’s choice for which we should be thankful & no doubt assume we are. Are we using our choices, though? Like gratitude & love, to be effective, choice needs to be proactive. Choices alone don’t bring about results &, left alone, still lead to change but not of our making. We have to own our choices, appreciate them.

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want,
and all that is left is compromise.”
~ Robert Fritz ~

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it,
that is in itself a choice.”
~ William James ~

What we do or don’t do with our choices affects the next set of possibilities we create. How empowering is that?! Not only are there any number of possibilities available to us at all times but we can change them up, often increasing our options in the process, with each choice we make. The choices we make passively — through inaction or hesitance — change up the mix too. Wouldn’t you rather choose the direction your choices are taking you?

“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back,
and choose the path that leads to wisdom.”
~ Buddha ~

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.”
~ Cherie Carter-Scott ~

Fear of failure is a natural inclination & the typical cause of hesitation. Whereas hesitation can be prudent, make sure it’s by choice & not a result of being afraid to act. Life choices require planning thus slow & steady will bring those larger choices to fruition. During the process, there are day to day choices that can support the larger one. Brett, who I’ve mentioned, has taken such a journey on & the comment thread his announcement inspires covers great ground.

“I chose and my world was shaken. So what? The choice may have been mistaken; the choosing was not. You have to move on.”
~ Stephen Sondheim ~

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”
~ Denis Waitley ~

Choices factor into everything we do, how we feel & how we feel about what we’re doing. Turning a blind eye to anything but the obvious choices undermines the additional potential each choice has. A snow-covered driveway is a good example as you could choose to simply shovel yet you could also make snow-angels. Consider making angels then shoveling or break up the shoveling with a snowball fight. Notice the bonus that you’re also less likely to work alone.

“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.”
~ William A. Foster ~

“There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.”
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

As we weave our choices together to create experiences we want & develop opportunities we’re interested in, we explore our own empowerment & learn to construct days that are never wasted by establishing new baselines. Accepting each choice, every mistake, the chosen failures as uniquely ours reveals them as the lessons & stepping stones they always had the potential to be. Appreciate choices that led to better ones & those that were right in their moment.

“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose,
to respond, to change.”
~ Stephen R. Covey ~

“It is our choices that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.”
~ J. K. Rowling ~

Don’t leave well enough alone; heed what you’re feeling & either express it or act on it. It’s choice that makes our lives our own & it can’t help but improve them. From attitude-adjustments to full overhauls, by actively choosing, we’re learning to live in the moment yet that concept is often misunderstood. It’s not so much the creation of happy lives as effective ones that taking charge of our moments allows us. We’re able to choose how we feel but only if we first choose to feel thus to live.

“Life is not a continuum of pleasant choices, but of inevitable problems that call for strength, determination, and hard work.”
~ Indian Proverb ~

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing,
I would choose pain.”
~ William Faulkner ~

PS: I’m choosing to make these quote-filled posts a regular happening.

Ever have one of those weeks? Not a bad one, mind you, but not what you’d anticipated. I’m not one for planning; instead, I prioritize & reprioritize. Amidst goals that must be set, life comes along its merry way. I don’t want to miss anything life may throw my way & I’m determined to heed opportunities as they arise. Thus, I go about my days steadily working toward my goals but with the caveat that I’m not going to achieve them any faster by letting the rest of my life slip by unappreciated.

Accomplishment for its own sake will prove empty & incomplete without an infusion of life’s nuances. To ensure you’re not so preoccupied by the goal you miss out on the journey, rethink your current to-do list. Be ready to set it aside to keep your life improving not just progressing. Someone may need to talk, your cat may need to play, you may need to play or you might not be working as efficiently as you could. Allow yourself to be interrupted as it not only keeps your brain active but helps maintain a fresh perspective. In turn, allow yourself to say no – no to a tweet, phone call or chat that can wait – no to things unless they’re timely or productive in themselves.

Deadlines remain the priority; a more fluid approach to productivity simply allows us to meet them differently. We find what works for each of us through trial & error. If we’re not failing, we’re not trying new things. The tried & true may get the job done but there’s little room for learning, much less exploring, in the process. It’s about learning to work smarter rather than harder because working efficiently doesn’t have to mean working doggedly. Reevaluate how you’re working. Stress, in particular, is proof current methods aren’t working well. Although not stressful per se, my return to being online full-time was proving difficult. Due to not being able to prioritize online endeavors for so long, they’d become fragmented. With so much to catch up on & much more to accomplish, I’ve been dutifully plugging away since my return last month.

Duty doesn’t mean a damn without honor. For all my efforts, I knew full well I wasn’t going to make real progress til I started honoring how I needed to function not merely that I needed to function. Thus, despite my commitment to post here at least twice a week, I finally found myself reorganizing my digital life instead. Simply put, by setting aside my priorities this week, I’ve had the time to streamline how I go about them & won’t be struggling to maintain them hereafter. Don’t stop at knowing what to do & how to do it, keep changing things up til you discover how best to do it. If you find yourself frustrated or a task seems harder than it should, take a break from it to see what’s going on behind the scenes. Never be afraid to look behind the curtain; if you’re not already the wizard, it’s time to take over.

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.”
~ Josh Billings ~