Liverpool Echo - Driving Passion

Free fluid check from SEAT is no joke

2009-07-04T10:50:18Z

When somebody is wandering around the playground offering free fluids testing you may think it's cause for concern.
But no it's just those crazy Gaudie guys from SEAT keeping you on the road.
All of its 275,000 UK owners that their vehicles qualify for a free fluids and safety check at any of the Spanish brand's 100-plus dealerships nationwide.

]]> The free check, which takes just a few minutes to complete and does not need to be booked in advance, covers oil and coolant levels as well as brake fluid and washer bottle. SEAT's technicians will advise owners of any levels that need attention and offer a chargeable top-up service where required.

The reminder comes on the back of a recent survey which suggested some SEAT owners may not check their car's fluid levels as often as recommended.

The reason for this is not clear. Maybe it's the sangria, maybe its the manana but there's no excuse now.

Supermarkets should compensate us for their road works

2009-07-02T08:37:44Z

I'm right tetchy at the moment must be the countdown to my holiday.
Staying in the UK this year, sunny Cornwall, some bass fishing and maybe a lucky turbot to cook in the holiday apartment. Oh, okay then, flat

]]> Oh, and a long drive in a Honda CRV which will no doubt fill the swear box as I do battle with on leave toilet roll sales managers in their BMW diesels following the American highway code.
Anyway, when I get back work will have started on a 16 week project to give a new supermarket an entrance road. They will be paying for it, of course.
And so will those of us stuck in the gridlock that will be caused or facing diversions via some lad's back garden and the allotments near Giro Bank.
What I say is that rather than just pay for the road works superstores should compensate drivers who have their lives disrupted. Perhaps they should hand out vouchers along the queues.
No, I'm serious. We have a perfectly servicible road junction here which is going to be turned in chaos corner so that a private retail company can make vast profits. Give us something back.
Every little helps

Toyota Urban Cruiser road test - half man half biscuit

2009-06-30T08:37:44Z

Motoring surveys, I find, are usually either a shameless attempt to get free publicity for a search engine or pointless comparisons of regional personal motoring hygiene.

I have variously been told that you will find the most filthy footwells in Netherhamptonwallop and that as many as 90% of people really are people while the remaining 10% claim to be biscuit-human hybrids from Pontefract.

]]> However some surveys are simply bonkers. And those we like.
Thanks to one of these I can spring upon you the news that there is a new type of driver on the road - the 'petrosexual.'
Now my immediate reaction is that this is made up as surely as anything by Hans Anderson. But at the same time it is stimulating to be expected to believe 24% of Mini drivers have muddy wellies in the boot and that Don't Stop Me Now by Queen is the most popular driving record. Oh yeah? And what about the Birdy Song?
Women with French cars are most likely to name their vehicle. So that's Roger the Renault if that sort of thing interests you while, inevitably, there is an undergarment theme with female BMW drivers over 45 are most likely to wear sexy smalls while 8% of older male drivers wear no pants at all.
These people, and I haven't a clue why, are the very embodiment of petrosexual life and don't give a fig what make of car they drive, it's all about lifestyle and doing the right thing.
Barometric proof positive is given as Wayne Rooney swapping his Merc for a sensible-dad Audi Avant when Colleen told him she was in the club. Well I'll tell you this, the day Mr Rooney becomes synonymous with the man on the Clapham omnibus is the day I move to the Pitcairn Islands.
This argument takes us back to the days of our parents who bought a Mini because it was small, a Maxi because it was big or a Marina because they were dropped on the head as a child.
Such new thinking bodes well for the Toyota Urban Cruiser VVT-i five-door.
On the face of it you may ask why someone would want a car this shape unless they had a very tall family but what makes we humans different is that we like to be different. And the Urban Cruiser certainly is that.
And it ticks all the boxes in petrosexual survey land. It isn't quick and neither would you be with a 1.3-litre engine hefting 1100kg of kerb weight but it is very good on fuel and tax.
Therefore by owning one, a petrosexual is doing the right thing. It's a car not a manhood extension.
Well it is hardly likely to be, based as it is on the Yaris, not a car often tipped for the pulling premiership title. In fact it is so angelic it should be canonised. There are seven air bags to save Mr and Mrs Tall and the kids while the bonnet is pedestrian friendly on impact. Even the wiper bracket is designed to disintegrate on contact.
The majority of Urban cruisers are front wheel drive but for those wanting to drop down from a Rav4 there is an all-wheel drive option.
The cabin is bright and well finished with chrome highlights and modern must-haves like keyless entry, climate control and Bluetooth.
It is easy to drive in town but on longer trips the engine needs to be worked hard and this induces some bounce. However, there is little noise and handling is precise.
And if all this is attractive to older petrosexuals I have one thing to say. For goodness sake put some underpants on.
THE NUMBERS BIT
Engine: 1329cc, 99bhp
Transmission: Six-speed manual
Fuel: 51.4mpg
CO2: 129g/km
Acceleration: 0-62- 12.5sec
Top speed: 109mph
Price: £14,500 (2WD)
Tax: Band D (£120)

Warwickshire police fun day for travellers - how about a ticket amnesty for motoists

2009-06-27T09:48:02Z

Today, police in Warwickshire are generously holding a family fun day for travellers with all manner of junketing and frolics including a balloon race, a Roma band, story-telling, face painting and a bouncy castle.

]]> This, they say, is to negate friction between the peripatetic and other communities over illegal camps and action enforcing their removal, which, according to commonly held beliefs among the footings and roof community is pretty minimal.
Anyway, no matter, a noble effort to facilitate greater understanding and we could all do with a bit of that. Not least the car driving community, or targets as they feel they are.
We don't actually want a fun day, most of us are too busy out earning taxes to pay for other people's to attend.
Therefore I would suggest a tickets amnesty week for motorists who also feel persecuted and in a state of friction with law enforcement.
And yes, I know 25,000 Dorset motorists may get their GATSO fines quashed but that's not an amnesty. It is monumental incompetence.
God, Morse must be spinning.

Traffic advice is road to ruin - dangers of the car radio

2009-06-25T08:37:44Z

IT is generally accepted that the invention of radio traffic reports, like Durex, was expected to contribute to eradicating some of those little accidents that occur when we become distracted or over excited.
if you know there is something up ahead that needs avoiding you won't go slamming into it. So to speak.
Right, here's the problem. How do you turn the traffic advice off? I know it's more entertaining than Ken Bruce but TA always come on at full volume and usually has news of something so remote to your interest I may as well be the Nepalese cricket results.
And because the traffic tottie has to justify her salary the most obscure ad unimportant two car tail backs on a rural farm track are included.
I really do not want to be told repeatedly that there is a queue at a chip shop in Stoke.
And, of course, I know how to turn of the din, but as most radios are no more complicated than the European voting system that means looking in the handbook.
And I am sorry but anything in a car that requires reference to the literature is a failure.

How to make quick profit from the scrappage scheme

2009-06-23T08:37:44Z

Right, listen up at the back.

Want to earn 1100 fresh oncers my son? Come and have a word wiv uncle Arfur.
All totally kosher, nuffin 'ooky about it.

]]> Glass's Guide says that for in-demand superminis such as the new Ford Fiesta, Fiat 500 and Citroen C1, a profit of up to £1,100 is a cert in a one horse race if the punter had received the full scrappage trade-in discount and then sold their new car privately, sharpish like.

"The potential profit is greatest for those cars where the nearly-new value is currently high in relation to the list prices; notably small, affordable cars with low running costs," explains Adrian Rushmore, Managing Editor at Glass's. "Extended new-car delivery times are supporting these windfall profits, because prospective buyers not eligible for the scheme are more likely to gravitate towards second-hand examples - indirectly boosting residual values - rather than suffering the wait for a new model. "
Yeah, what ever.
My plan is this. We sell that banger her indoors drives, is only worth a pony but the mug wiv the fancy isand down the road will wedge us up.
Then we sell the new metal and spend half the profit on another smoker for the dutchess and half down the Winchester. Come along Terrance. Chop, chop.
Well they weren't wrong, scrappage will stimulate car sales.

Peugeot 107 urban road test - sex in the city

2009-06-22T09:10:07Z

I am deeply uncomfortable with urban life. Can you blame me?

Just look a the news. Last week some men took off all their clothes and cycled around a city centre to protest about cars. No one in the sticks takes off their clothes to protest about anything.

]]> You don't want a big bird making a painful error of identification.
City life likes to set itself up as some sort of special needs existence. It has is own urban myths, its own urban dictionary and it's own special kind of urban sprawl while the rest of us just get to spread out on the couch quite normally.
Look, we don't have rural myths do we? There really is a Troll under the bridge and aliens did land in the bottom pasture after last summer's beer festival.
For goodness sake, someone in America, has even come up with an urban tapeworm that is being blamed on the urban fox which, as we all know, looks like the rural fox but is vegetarian and likes contemporary dance.
Right then, time to take the second left after the man bag shop and right at the Tango Tan-o-rama to this week's sex in the city sizzler, the Peugeot 107 Urban.
See, that word again. Perhaps the engine is sick if you pass a cow or the radio tunes itself to the Archers if it's driven over five miles from a shoe shop.
The 107 is part of the menage a trois of convenience that includes Citroen's C1 and the Toyota Aygo. Three and five door 107s are available but only one engine, 980CCs delivering less then 70bhp with three equipment levels.
Functional rather than luxurious, there's plenty of hard plastic and bare metal with instrumentation limited to just a speedo and bar graph petrol gauge. Obviously there is an MP3 socket. Oh come on, who can possibly be expected to drive a car without an MP3 player?
We are driving the one in the middle simply called Urban but Peugeot could have called it bed sit or Tesco Express. You get the idea.
£8795 buys all sorts of colour coding, electric front windows, plenty of air bags, remote locking ABS and CD radio. When a manufacturer lists a parcel shelf and rear seat bets as standard equipment you just know things are going to be pretty basic.
All aboard then for a trip down Electric Avenue. The 107 is a bustling little car with more room, especially for rear seat passengers, than you may expect.
It's not quick, you would hardly expect it to be, operating in the land of wrongly phased traffic lights and utilities diggings, 14 seconds to 60mph won't cause a naked protest and 60mpg is a more relevant number as is £35 for road tax.
Should you go to visit friends in the country the Urban is reasonably civilised on the motorway. That in a segment where waterboarding would sometimes be preferable to a long drive. In town a light clutch and throttle ease the way through stop-start frustration and the ride is forgiving. There is a boot, of sorts, but it's only carrier bag sized.
If you are the sort of person who has a panic attack being too far from shops the Urban is well worth a look. These are just the sort of cars that should be excused games and welcomed into cities. Leave the full-fat off-roaders to us straw suckers in the boonies with one eye and a natty range of hessian smocks.

Volkswagen Phaeton has won the Luxury Car category at the British Insurance Vehicle Security Awards

2009-06-20T11:54:00Z

For the second year in a row the Volkswagen Phaeton has won the Luxury Car category at the British Insurance Vehicle Security Awards

Why? Well here's the detail for those of you liing in a bi of a Burberry area.

]]> Every glass surface, including the sunroof,is laminated. In addition, every Phaeton is fitted as standard with an alarm with interior protection; inclination sensors to prevent the vehicle from being towed away; an electronic immobiliser; deadlocks; and anti-theft wheel bolts.
Actually I don't think that's all thee is too it. I reckon the reason the Phaeton is broken into so little is that it is the size of a castle and only two people bought them. And one of those is Simon Cowell and who would want to break into him?

Luxury Japanese Infinity models on the way- may the G force be with you

2009-06-18T14:16:30Z

You probably have to be in the anorak bracket to have been waiting with baited breath for the arrival of Nissan's luxury brand, Infinity.

G37 Saloon, Coupé and Convertible are a trio of performance cars with one level of quality and driver appeal in a choice of three stunning bodies.

]]> Pricing from £30,300 for the G37 Saloon to £38,900 for the four-seat G37 Convertible with retractable hard-top.
Single engine option: 3.7-litre V6, 320PS; choice of transmissions: six-speed manual or seven-speed auto with paddle shift.
Performance: G37 Saloon and Coupé 6MT accelerates to 62mph in 5.8 seconds, Convertible in 6.2 seconds; top speed of all limited to 155mph.
Rear-wheel drive, optional all-wheel drive or 4-Wheel Active Steer depending on model.
Totally equipped as standard with features buyers of V6 performance cars expect.
Infiniti's Total Ownership Experience aims to offer industry-leading levels of customer service
G37 Saloon recently ranked the most recommended car in a US survey and
joins the EX37 and FX line of crossovers being launched in the UK from September. More at www.infiniti.co.uk.
These cars will be worth the wait. I have to say that because a motoring mucker, PR Wayne Bruce has the world wide ticket to care for its press reception.
That's Wayne Bruce, not Bruce Wayne. It's all a matter of underpants really.

Dad's phone for proper calls

2009-06-16T16:57:13Z

Time to get your own back, dad.

Never mind all those phones going off around the house as the text traffic hots up, forget those jolly japes of mens' bits on video here's mobile just for you.

]]> And at only £299 the kids can get you one for father's day
The Land Rover S1 by Sonim is the world's first IP-67 rated GSM mobile phone - a standard which indicates it has been tested and found to be totally impervious to dust, as well as dirt, shocks and drops. The Land Rover S1 is also completely waterproof to a depth of one metre for up to 30 minutes and is resistant to extreme pressure of up to 400 kgs.
Three year unconditional guarantee
The phone is compatible with a wide range of off-the-shelf car kits and headsets and comes with complete with charger, belt clip and headset as standard.
The Land Rover S1 by Sonim will be available from Go Mobile stores nationwide and through the www.gomobileuk.com website from June.
There's just one thing I want to know - will it be any good for phone calls?The current bag of Fisons I have, some slide thingy by someone or other, is about as much use as a chocolate bikini in a heatwave.

Bangin' news from planet scorchio!

2009-06-15T09:46:40Z

They are cheaper than a last minute package holiday and just as hot.

Seat Ibiza FR, Cupra and Bocanegra prices have been announced twenty minutes ago.
Sorry for the delay!

]]> And the kit's not bad either - world-first use of DSG gearbox, twin-charger powerplants and XDS in a supermini.
More details, and confirmed prices, for SEAT's forthcoming trio of scorching Ibiza hot hatches are revealed today.
The beach burning threesome, all available to order now with deliveries beginning on 1 October, bring innovative new technology to the sporting supermini segment for the very first time with RRPs starting at just £14,995.
Showcasing SEAT's engineering tricks department, while taking the brand's young design to new heights with the concept car-inspired Bocanegra, the newcomers are poised to inject some serious Latin leg over into kart class.
At the heart of all three of these Spanish fliers is SEAT's 1.4-litre TSI twin-charged petrol engine which is set up to deliver 150 PS in the FR, and a rogan josh180 PS in the range-topping Cupra and Bocanegra.
Look, there are cars for the Twitter generation, men in shorts and women who say when.
I'm going to look daft driving one but feel I have to make this sacrifice the interests of journalistic research.
Look out for a fast fat man in a bright yellow, or similar car.

Young, gifted and absolute agony for the over 50s- Twingo 133 Cup road test

2009-06-15T09:46:40Z

Had I known the entire European electorate was going to be so inclined towards protest voting | would have taken the opportunity to launch my own political party.

And jolly well it would have done too, given the ever so slight far-right connotations of its name: Joy Through Motoring.

]]> Obviously I would have needed some policies but given the mood of the nation may have got away with the one that accompanied my pet insurance.
In the first instance I had planned to have speed traps introduced for cyclists but Dorset Police officers, amid fears for the mackerel community, are already gunning riders on Bournemouth beach front riding at as much as 16mph .
Electric cars would have been outlawed except where transporting milk or giving Magic Micky rides at Disneyland but as the only one that's remotely any good costs £98k, this is hardly a popularist stand.
So far as I can see I was the only candidate who would do anything about caravans, having them painted day-glo pink simply for the hell of it. Then I watched a programme about D-Day and how field marshal Bernard Montgomery gave Eisenhower what for in, of all places, his caravan.
I can see this clearly. Monty standing, like my grandmother, in a pinny waving a wooden spoon towards the door to the chemical loo while laying down the law on how it was to be used for number ones only, anything of higher denomination being banished to locations much further from base camp.
Well that was it. Clearly without caravanners I would be writing about Kubelwagens.
Leaving me with just one sure-fire vote winner: Fix Our Roads or FOR.
This, you must concede, has a certain ring to it.
What are we for? FOR.
What's more than three? FOR.
And less than five? FOR.
Tee shot sliced? FOR.
I can see you are with me on this one.
To impress the urgent need for road repairs I propose trips at moderate speed for council officials in RenaultSport Twingo 133s. With the Cup chassis.
In its everyday guise theTwingo is about as exciting as the House of Lords. The133, however, has felt the icy spanner of the boys in the sport bunker where le alchemy has produced such rare metal as the brilliant Clio 197 and the faintly bonkers Megane R26.
To ensure the result is driving enjoyment and not hospital food, the 133 is wider than the stock Twingo and Cup chassis and suspension rock hard.
One look tells you this is a case where youth is not wasted on the young. Spoiler, extended sills and arches and 17" alloys can be added to from a graphics pack which oddly includes Union Flags and St George crosses. For the older among us a replacement spine option would be nice.
If you could saddle a mad cat this is what the ride would be like. Revved up, squirty and flat to the floor, no roll no understeer. With no turbo it needs kicking hard but clip the red line and the 133 even gives you a green light thumbs up.
And if Gordon Brown has this much grip they will never rid of him.
Pulling all this along is a 1.6-litre four-pot engine which I think reached 60 in 8.7 seconds but I was a bit distracted pulling my head out of the roof lining. I would settle for the smoother non-Cup chassis. But then to this target market I am technicaly dead.
Given all this it's no bad thing that the longest list is for passive safety featues, ABS, ESP, air bags, sports steering and the latest head restraints.
Inside? Well actually there isn't much of an inside. A leather steering wheel and shiny pedals sports seats, in your face rev counter, CD radio, digital speedo and a gear change reminder light. Oh, and a parking ticket holder. But the inside is not exactly the point, is it?
Cost? £12,600 to buy, band D to tax and 40mpg at the pumps.
The lads at RenaultSport should stand for election. My vote's in the bag. I suggest they call themseves the Monster Raving Hatchback party.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry

2009-06-11T09:57:59Z

Really, do you laugh or do you cry?
The good residents of Oak Road, Billericay, Orange ( Essex) County have holes the size of Peru ion their surfacing which they say have grown since an illegal traveller site was set up nearby.

]]> That's Europe's biggest illegal site, by the way so stop moaning about his Leylandi next door.
Well illegal or not nobody is shifting the travellers but you would have thought they would fix the road.
Nope.
Apparently this would make the wholesome, fun loving travelling folk think they were under some sort of attack.
And plod won't take a hand because he says the chaps in Sprite Tourers may riot.
That's excellent. Police officers could be diverted to other duties. Like speed trapping cyclists. What do you mean they have?
Oh yes, look at this.
Dorset police experts have jointed forces with that hip and happening authority, Bournemouth Borough Council, to radar cyclists on the beach front.
This, I have no doubt, after diversity workers expressed fears for the flatfish community, many of who have been forced to make the dangerous cross-Channel journey on the bottom of the sea from France.
I mention this in the context the number of people who decided to vote odd and sometimes worrying political parties last week.
And I ask one question.
Is it any bloody wonder?

Fatty Audi Q5 that's been eating between meals

2009-06-09T10:31:06Z

In the newspaper this weekend a man with a bad barometer habit predicted that by 2080 Cornwall would enjoy Mediterranean summers and warm, damp winters making it an ideal growing climate for viticulturists.
Chateaux Newlyn-sur-Mer here we come.

]]> This is upsetting news. Not only will I be well and truly known as 'the late' by then but more immediately I am due in the region next month and so playing British seaside roulette with the weather rather than basking in the certainty of scorchio. Sunstroke or trench foot, place your bets now.
Interestingly, since the employed classes were forced by recession to send their children up mill owners' chimneys and the car industry fell into a bottomless pit, global warming is apparently not entirely due to the evil motorist. It's more a question of who ate all the pies? Henry Ford is no longer the great Satan, Mr Creosote is.
Porritists now say eating is breaking the sky. More specifically eating meat or cheese. Apparently, despite recent political resignations, there are just too many cows and sheep in the world. And that afterv a cabinet reshuffle.
According to the great man himself 'fat is a climate change issue.' Really? I think of it more as a waistband issue.
Presumably, although they cannot delight in a spanking new Range Rover, people can still enjoy a jolly good feed of dead beast. Therefore this must be stopped.
Farting cattle are bad enough but you, lardy arse, are contributing a additional tonne of CO2 a year, putting you in tax band Z.
The answer, it seems, is a diet of low-gas potatoes. And if you could just build yourself a dank, dark croft and get the kids a character building dose of diphtheria, 19th century utopia would be complete.
In the meantime the coast looks clear to talk about Audi's little brother for the Q7, the Q5.
In the main crossovers lean towards the dainty end of four-wheel drive. Cosmetically appealing rather than butch and beefy. Effeminate even, which says something about the target market.
No so the Q5 which looks like it may march right up to the last surviving polar bear and punch its murderous lights out.
As is normal with Audi there is a model for everyone, even vegetablists. We will look at he two-litre TDi S-line but you could choose a bigger three-litre diesel engine or a 3.2 FSi and a combination of trims.
On the road the six-speed TDi is satisfyingly able, not sluggish at 9.5 seconds to 60mph or greedy with 42mpg a reasonable target. And even for a car that feels it could have been crossed with a small country, there is an agility and lack of handling drama you may not expect.
On top of that standard fixtures and fittings make the Q5 good value. Climate control, alloys, traction control and leather seats all feature along with approaching vehicle warning lights on the wing mirrors and parking proximity alarms.
Needles to say all this is put together with the normal Audi faultlessness and the best quality trim materials.
Sounds then, like love. So would I pay the menu price of £30,635? Ah, well there we have a problem.
You see what makes the Q5 so tasty is extras like the technology pack, the drive select option which allows the suspension and throttle response to be set up to your personal taste and adaptive cruise control. Not to mention over a grand's worth of mobile phone and audio equipment and a host of lesser bolt-on kit that pushed the price of the S-line to almost £40,000. That's leaving aside the £50 ski bag which may prove rather redundant.
So you see, the basic S-line dish is largely very healthy. It's eating between meals that make the Q5 fat.

Sad loss on Air France flight

2009-06-05T15:17:22Z

The seemingly hard-nosed couldn't give one world of newspapers is never more united than when it comes to what we will call the One Of Us syndrome.Which in this case extends to people on the other side of the fence in PR.

]]> Mazda Europe product PR chief Neil Warrior was among the missing passengers aboard last Sunday's ill-fated Air France flight from Rio de Janeiro to Paris.

Warrior, who was born in Hillingdon in 1961, was returning from a holiday in South America. Mazda Motor Europe CEO Jeff Guyton said: "Our entire company is shocked and saddened by this terrible news. It simply isn't enough to say Neil will be sorely missed. This loss goes deeper than that, because someone like Neil cannot be replaced.

"He was a warm, kind and fun person who will never be forgotten by those who knew him. It was a privilege to have had Neil as our colleague and friend."

Revill added that Warrior joined Mazda Europe as public relations director responsible for product communications in 2007. A graduate of the London School of Economics, he had earlier worked for Fiat and Alfa Romeo in the UK. A memorial service will be held for Warrior in Cologne on Monday June 8, Mazda said.
Motoring hacks spend a disproportionate amount of time in the air, usually jetting off somewhere nice. And free.
Kind of puts it all in perspective, really.