DRToussaint

Dumb Fuc*s and Smart As**s

2011-01-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

So many dumb fucks this week, so little blog. A tragic week brought horrifying responses from the usual creeps. But Palin and Limbaugh's repugnant responses are so hellish they'll have to wait till they get there to make that list.

So who'd I pick? A little known story that's absurd in its own way, and indicative of the times. Joe Wilson's Mouth Emblazoned on Assault Rifle!

Yep, the manufacturers are honoring Disrespectful Joe by commemorating his words on their assault weapons. That gives them wonderful Dumb Fuck status.

So cool, right? I've always wanted to shoot someone with a "you lie" rifle. But then again, who hasn't?

On that pathetic dumb fuck note, we leave you with a Smart Ass. In a dismal week, his was the one of the best quotes of the week, as well as one of the bravest, considering.

'NRA should just change their name to "Assassin's Lobby."'

Gotta love that brave soul. Yep, it's Bill Maher. A proud addition to the Smart Ass of the Week.

Now THAT'S a smart ass.

Since you made it all the way through, I leave you with a smart ass of my own choosing.

.....now wasn't that worth it?

David@DavidToussaint.com

Colin Richardson on Pain

2011-01-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

Continuing my interview project, I spoke with Australian Colin Richardson, who I've never actually met; we know each other through Facebook. Colin's story is an amazing one. No background information is needed.

Here, 10 Questions for Colin Richardson:

One: Can you tell us what you’re injury is and when you got it?

Lower back disc and sciatic nerve root damage. It actually happened 23 years when I was a storeman working for a mining company. It was nothing but a slight twist in the wrong direction, something went "snap" in my lower back. I haven't had a day without some pain since.

Two: How much pain are you in now, and what do you do for it?

I'm in constant, severe pain. I have a "Spinal Stimulator" implanted, and I wear "Norspan" patches that feed a measured dose of heavy analgesics into my system. I also take anti-depressants.

Three: How has your injury affected your life?

My injury has gradually taken away all but a small part of my former life. I have not worked for 10 years, and am told I never will again; something that breaks my heart. I can't even do the smallest amount of gardening anymore, and can walk only with the aid of a stick, and no more than 100 meters.

Four: You’re a gay man over 50, who suffers from chronic pain; what kind of social life do you have?

I have no social life at the moment.

Five: How social were you before you hurt yourself?

I was an extremely social person both on the gay scene and in other circles.

Six: You have a child, I believe. How old is she, and what is the status of your relationship?

I have a daughter who is 26, she has a daughter who is 3; we speak occasionally on the phone. She doesn't have a problem with me being gay, but she lives a long way away and has a life of her own.

Seven: When did you come out?

I didn't come out till I was 30; a combination of being a farm boy, fundamentalist Christian childhood, and self-denial, I suppose.

Eight: What could President Obama learn from Australia?

I'm not sure what President Obama could learn from Australia, because even if he wanted to implement the social and financial policies of my nation he would be strung up as a "Socialist" back in the USA!

Nine: What’s the best thing about life in Australia?

The climate and the philosophy of a "fair go" for those who have had the misfortune to have problems both with their health and/or finances.

Ten: What do you do for fun?

Fun? I'm not sure computers and reading could be called fun, but it keeps my mind active.

--david toussaint

The New Column, with Notes!

2011-01-09T10:51:00.000-08:00

I wrote a new column last week, The Death of Death, after a long struggle to figure out the voice.

Since nothing's more boring about the technical aspect of writing, I won't dwell on that. Suffice it to say that writing is quite difficult.

I got the idea when I saw the performance artist Tom Judson awhile back.

As you can see, Judson's a hunk. Yeah, that's him on the left.
He used to be a porn star and a Broadway performer, which means he was hustling twice a day.

He talks about AIDS in his show, because his longtime lover died of the disease a long time ago in a city far far away. I noticed, as I looked around the room, that AIDS was, ironically, no longer onstage. It surrounded the room but it didn't take center stage. Judson's story did.

I also mentioned a guy named Jack Mackenroth, who I think is a wonderful role model for HIV-positive men. He's proud of his body and shows it off pretty much all the time. That's a great way to de-stygmatize the disease; to show we no longer need to hide our bodies or feel ashamed of ourselves. We've come a long way. It's a celebration of life, of conquering a disease we once thought would conquer us. He's been at the forefront of that movement, and I applaud him.

Mackenroth (below) wrote me to tell me it was a huge insult and that I was a horrible writer. To each his own. He was offended that I mentioned his constant state of undress in magazines and online. Then he instructed me to remove him from the column. Mackenroth is not my boss or my editor or my friend and I've never met him. Columnists are not paid to write puff pieces subject to the approval of celebrities' whims. There was no interview beforehand nor did there need to be.

I talked about it with friends of mine, even re-read the graph several times to decide if I'd made a mistake in how I approached the subject of his sex-appeal. In the end, I left the piece as is. In writing, as in life, always go with your instincts. Never second guess yourself or what others might say. I think he's an amazing role model, and admire his courage and honesty in his personal life. That was my intent in mentioning him.

When you are a columnist or journalist, or in the business of writing, you need to be thick-skinned in regards to your audience. I've written what I thought were Valentine's to people, who later told me they didn't approve. (I've also written articles that have received high praise from the subjects.) Point is, you can't live by what others say--that's not our job as writers. Our job is to tell our truths as best as we can, and let others judge. As someone once said, "Never criticize your own work; plenty of other people will be thrilled to do it for you."

My mom reads everything I write, and I often cringe at the thought that she might be going over a graph in which I discuss sex. But I can't censor myself for my mom, or for anyone else. I write from the heart, good or bad. I strongly encourage others to do the same.

All my best,
David@DavidToussaint.com

Dumb*ss of the Week

2010-12-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

He made me do it. I didn't want to; I wanted to love him like others did; or at least feel that connection, that surge of electricity when he spoke. I wanted to think we had a chance, a moment, our time in space to feel the love in the air. I hoped for so much, yet nothing changed. That's why the dumbass of the week is....

BARACK OBAMA

He looks pretty small, doesn't he.

When you don't fight, and when everyone else has taken the spotlight, and when you betray your base of faith-lovers, well, you're not very bright. It's different now, because now we're in a Great Recession, and the Republicans, more than ever, think they own the world. They will give into nothing but themselves, and you just gave into that. We are not held hostage to their demands; but you are. Ironically, we are now held hostage to you. So shape up, grow a pear, or leave the job to someone who is up to the challenge.

--david toussaint (david@davidtoussaint.com)

Dumbass of the WEEK

2010-11-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well, I just couldn't take it any longer. Everytime it opens up its mouth something comes out, something a normal, intelligent, caring human being would toss into the trash. It has no brain, no morals, no insight, no philosophy; worse, it's proud of this.

But last week, it outdid itself, again. We cultural elitists didn't think that was possible--I mean, wha'ts left?--but there it went again, going after the First Lady over healthy food and fighting obesity (apparently, that's a bad thing, an Anti-American cause, a (wink, wink) "socialist" cause). Ah, yes, its wisdom in spades. All is bad that isn't it. It has all the answers, and only answers to itself. And when it doubt, it says no.

So the dumbass of the week is everyone's favorite non-entity,

Sarah Palin.

I pushed her as far right as possible.

Here's what it said about Michelle Obama's nutrition "kick." No, this isn't an SNL skit; it just reads (try it out loud, Palin) that way.

I want to see your Fat Ass all the way from Alaska!

Sarah (rhymes with "Smile"), we know that you're only platform are the ones you walk on. You have no solutions, no ideas other than attacking everyone else and hoping God intervenes (sadly, he'd have to should you ever be in power). You are a true dumbass. And, when you think about it, I don't even think you'd refudiate that title.

Since I'm racked with guilt for making you look at her, I thought I'd leave you with another smart ass.

Feel better? It's the big things that help.

--david

Patron MADONNA Saint Sunday

2010-11-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

Saints, like many good things, are often a group effort. This week, instead of picking out a certain person for Madonna-hood, I had to go for the whole nine yards, the kit and the caboodle, in short, the Big Picture. So the Patron Saint Sunday award goes to the movie...

FAIR GAME

The movie tells the story of "outed" CIA agent Valerie Plame, who's husband, Joe Wilson, wrote a New York Times op-ed piece that exosed lies from the White House about Nigeria, WMDs, and invading Iraq. It's a wonderful reminder of the horrors of the Bush years. More than that, it's a testament to the power of movie-making as social tool, to the spirit of democracy, and to the American Values we fight for every day.

Thanks to Naomi Watts, Sean ("You gotta give 'em hope") Penn, and director Doug Liman. Of course, a big thanks to real-life married couple Plame and Wilson for their fight and their story and their courage.

And keep this movie in mind next time someone tells you how to think.

--david toussaint

DumBA*S of the Week

2010-11-20T16:55:00.000-08:00

Ah, who to pick? So many to choose from: There's that Flip-Flopper Cindy McCain, along with Flop-Flibber hubby John (my god, let's hope they don't-Flip F*** at home). There's the endless vile of Sarah Palin (you know, she's a given each week, but, quite frankly, I can't bear the thought of staring at a photo of her; and, of course, there's Glenn Beck and his cute anti-Semitism (and we haven't even hit the new House and Senate members).

So who'd I'd choose....

That lovely family man, Tony Perkins. Apparently, the sage thinks gays in the military are going to result in the return of the draft. (Um, Tony, that only happens in those Colt porn flicks you watch at home.) Here's what the wise one had to say this week...Man oh Man if only those guys would come to my home!

It looks as if Mr. Perkins is still desperately seeking to outdo the original Psycho!

Frankly, I think the guy on the left looks less harmless.

Okay, since you were all so good about reading up on a dumbass, I think I should leave you with a really smart...

...ASS.
and life is good again...
--david

My latest GayWeddings.Com Blog

2010-11-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

Hey, been writing these for a while now. Thought it might be a good time to post one :)

Gay Teens on Weddings

I think it's fascinating that young gay people think about this kind of stuff. This would have been all Greek, or Latin, to me.

--david

Oh, yeah, I'm also an etiquette columnist for "Zeus." The second issue should be out within the next two weeks.

--d.t.

Patron Madonna Saint Monday

2010-11-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

Because he's the smartest man in politics and he's not in politics. Because he's the most hated man in America because he's the most correct man in America. Because he wrote about the crimes of Bush before it was safe to do so. Because he speaks without pretension or arrogance or vanity. And because so few writers can do that. And because this was a particularly loathsome week for Dumb#sses, it seemed a good time to remind the world of the smart ones. And because of that and so much more, the Patron Madonna Saint Monday is....

Paul Krugman

Saint Paul

Take a bow, Paul.

--david toussaint

Dumb#SS of the Week...

2010-11-13T16:59:00.000-08:00

And the winner is...

As usual, the competition was rock hard. But I think the award goes to none other than Tucker Carlson.

Not only does he look like a Pee-Wee Herman wanna-be, but he spends his valuable time imitating Keith Olbermann. Um, Tucker, I think the tie, and your butt, is a bit too tight. Here's the link.

Tucker Carlson impersonating Olbermann

Can anyone explain why this is cute, funny, responsible, helpful, and NOT against the law?

Dumbass.

I don't know about you, but I'm tuckered out from this idiot. Let's get some actual journalists back in the game.

--david toussaint

Patron Saint Sunday!

2010-11-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Named after the Saint Madonna, of course.

In this messy week, some people did nice things. Good things. Things to talk about, celebrate, even make us, dare we say it, proud? I had lots of people to think about, but my pick for Patron Saint Sunday is none other than Anderson (Android) Cooper.

Not only is he so hot you want to take him out of his closet and wear him for at least a day, he busted the chops of some very stupid people. First there was that dolt Clint McCance Oy Gay Hate, but even more impressive was his attack on the 200 million dollar a day Obamumbai myth supported by none other than everyone's favorite Mad Hatter Michelle Bachmann.

Watch The Coop Here

The Coop in Action

So, thanks, Coop, for keeping them honest. And if you ever want to dump that boyfriend of yours eh, seen better, I'll be sure to make an honest man out of you.

--david toussaint

Dumb*SS of the Week 11/5/10

2010-11-05T18:01:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's GAY people. According to several reports, gays voted more Republican than EVER!!! Yay; as that wonder of words Perez Hilton tells us, it's Obama's fault--he's rubber they're glue.....

Here's his link.
Perez REALLY Cares

(No, he really does; honest; he won't even bully people anymore; you know, unless he gets paid to show naked photos).

Okay, dudes, here's the problem. First, Perez et al have a point about Obama; a strong one. But they refuse to do their homework before throwing sand in his face. Barack Obama has actually done more for gay people than ANY OTHER PRESIDENT IN U.S. HISTORY.

Wow, imagine that!!!! I mean, Ann Coulter must have made that up, right?

To quote my friend Farhad, President Obama "passed a hate crimes law that for the first time includes hate crimes against homosexuals. Obama also extended family leave to include gay and lesbians. In the past year and a half, President Obama used his powers to expand federal rights and benefits for gays and lesbians, targeting one government restriction after another in an attempt to change public policy while avoiding a confrontation with Republicans and opponents of gay rights....

Remember, too, that President Bush's (that would be W.) administration wouldn't sign a UN Resolution de-criminalizing homosexuality around the world (the Obama Admins signed it within 3 months of the Presidency).

Okay, not exactly a repeal of DADT or the end of DOMA, but it's probably worth mentioning, right pinky pinkos? And here's the rub: The Republicans have an anti-GAY agenda. To put it in simpler terms, they don't like you. They don't want you to get married, they don't want you to have AIDS funding; many of them would much prefer you end your pesky little insignificant lives.

So you can piss and moan about Obama, but if you think the New House and Emboldened Senate are here to help you, you should probably start getting all your news from Perez Hilton. At least you FEEL better.

--david toussaint

Who Will Win Patron Sunday Saint? Stay Tuned....

Tricks and Treats

2010-10-31T16:20:00.000-07:00

I've written three columns on gay porn, and I'm placing them all in this blog. The first man, Curtis Hutchinson, is retired, and has left his porn name, Dean Phoenix, in the dust.

Dean Phoenix Rising It's a fascinating story.

I'm sure he'll turn his shoulder, however, if you call him by Dean.

Like all the guys I interviewed, Curtis was sweet and gracious, and didn't ask for special treatment.

Second on my list was Reese Rideout, he speaks like he works; hard, forceful, fun, and unforgettable. He'd be my choice for guest at a dinner party. And if he wanted to squash me with those legs, I wouldn't complain.

Reese's Piece: Rideout the Storm with Randy Blue's Biggest Star: Friday night must be fun at his house!

Finally, I interviewed Chris Rockway, who's the hottest straight gay porn star in the country.

American Booty: Chris Rockway and the Evolution of Gay Porn: And they say porn stars are dumb...

Although, look at that too long and you might go blind.

Rockway talked and talked and talked; not something we expect of our porn stars :) He was a delight. I wish all these men well, I hope you like the columns, and I hope that you stay well.

Best,
David Toussaint

Sinners and Saints 10/15/10

2010-10-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

As for sinners, boy, what a week, what a month, what a year, what a world....

There were so many to choose from, but I think this schmuck gets the prize.

SINNER

And with apologies like his, who needs bullies?

As for saint, I'm happy to say we had a lot of those too. But after all the wreckage of the week, this one man stands out for his courage and his words and his honesty, and his ability to, somehow, say everything that needed to be said.

SAINT

Joel Burns, you are my hero.

Yours,
David Toussaint

fascistbook (Kimmie's Edition)

2010-07-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks later and I still get tons of comments on this column. Facebook has gotten so big (and, has, apparently, caused a lot of privacy problems), that everyone seems to want to read about it.

Now, as it approaches 5 million users, who knows what's going to happen. All I know is that we're addicted. We were a drinking nation, then Prozac Nation, and now, Facebook Nation.

Take a shot,

David

fascistbook

You might also be curious to know that I get an email from a gay high school student asking if he could make a protest page. I said yes, and he posted one. You can click on that here.

Thanks again for all your support,

David@davidtoussaint.com

"In the name of..." Fourth Of July Edition

2010-07-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

"Pride (In the Name of Love)" is a song I never understood till years after it came out. I thought it was just another hokey U2 tune, until someone pointed out it was about Martin Luther King.

Misunderstanding what we are proud of, or forgetting while we are proud, was the inspiration behind my latest column, "In the name of...".

I'm always surprised (and pleased) when straight people read my column and say, "you know, this is how it is in the straight world, too." I don't really think of gay vs. straight, and I think most issues are universal. There are particulars, of course, but human foibles and human folly and human wonderment is all the same.

So, be proud. I know that I am. Enjoy the fireworks, yours, your friends', or the ones in your heart.

Sincerely,
David Toussaint

PS: I miss Farrah :)

david@davidtoussaint.com

Virginia Lee: Five Questions for a Cancer Survivor

2010-06-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

South of Eden

Photo: Patty Carreras

Tennessee writer Virginia Lee opens up on Memphis, Dolly, and surviving cancer, in one of the most amazing responses to five "simple" questions. The lady needs no more introduction.

1.) What's the Best Thing About Living in Memphis?

The best things for me are being in close proximity to my family history, the Mississippi River and the culture. Memphis is never boring. It’s a city of extremes in many ways, but also one filled with vibrancy and promise if you approach it with the right attitude. If I must choose one aspect of Memphis that always thrills me and makes me happy? I’d have to go with the cultural and artistic diversity. Memphis is far more than Blues, Elvis and the assassination of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. For example, there’s been a professional theater here for forty years, Playhouse on the Square. There are actors, designers and technicians working all over the world who’ve been affiliated with POTS at some point in their careers. Even the late, great Michael Jeter did Godspell there back in the day. That still makes me all kinds of happy.

2.) What does the Bible mean to you?

I consider the Bible a construct of man. It’s a great work of literature and has many valid morality tales. However, because it is a construct of man, I do not look at it as anything other than an important literary and philosophical text. This will shock many people because my late father was an Episcopal priest by trade, and pretty good at it too. Alas, to my perception, my dad’s hypocritical behavior and that of the Diocese of North Carolina when my mother and I were seeking help during my bout with uterine cancer when we lost everything, has pretty much destroyed any confidence I had in organized religion. I am, without question, a person of Faith who believes in a Higher Power, but letting a book, any book, be in charge of my belief system is illogical. It’s particularly illogical when one looks at such in an objective manner. The major religions of the world follow and teach the same basic tenets. To my mind, the flavor of religion isn’t as important as Faith and Compassion for your fellow humans.

3.) What Could Barack Obama learn from the residents of Memphis?

We need help. If you don’t live out East there’s virtually no healthcare unless you are a child. The grocery stores available nearest low-income residents are inadequately stocked with healthful, affordable foods of decent quality. There’s a lot of rage and despair among the economically disenfranchised, and it’s been at crisis level for years. Those who’ve been poor all their lives have little or no hope of getting out of that economic trap. Those who are newly poor live in terror of never regaining what they lost due to unemployment or, as in the case of my elderly mother and myself, ill health. Mr. Obama is the man I voted for, as did many of my voting neighbors, but thus far my faith in his ability to actually do anything for the poor, the aged, those drowning in school loans that they cannot pay back because there are no jobs, the unemployed, the arts and so on, is pretty well gone. He needs to be Franklin D. Roosevelt and create real work programs for real people. We are that desperate. Even those who are managing to keep their heads above water are terrified most of the time. One thing that would make a huge difference for the economy and many individuals would be to forgive student loans for people with loans more than five years old. Another thing would be to make the process for getting help in emergency medical situations easier. My mother and I lost everything we owned because she became ill and then I did. In this state of no income tax the help is even more minimal than elsewhere.

4.) Is Dolly Parton good or bad for Tennessee?

Miss Dolly is awesome for Tennessee! In fact, she’s great for this country and everywhere. The woman is a genius. She has created an unforgettable, unmistakable character in her uber-country, bosomy, tacky persona. It’s a character that dates back to the beginnings of theater (and originally depicted by men, of course), but brought into our current era and culture. Minnie Pearl was not dissimilar in some ways, but Miss Dolly? Beyond that persona is her great skill as a songwriter. The woman is prolific! Even if she isn’t the greatest singer in the world, and she’s the first one to tell you that, her songwriting is amazing. I have the utmost regard for her as a songwriter, and really, she’s not a bad actor either. She’s limited in her roles because of her country accent and physicality, but she has the mind and instincts of a good actor. Given the proper role, script and director, I think she could astonish people.

5.) What type of cancer did/do you have and how are you coping with it?

I had uterine cancer. As to coping? Well, that’s entailed.

Menstrual cycles for me were never regular, and in my late teens I had my first bout of extreme bleeding. I was sure I was dying, but my fears were pooh-poohed. The pattern of extreme bleeding continued for decades. It waned a bit when I lost weight in my late 20s, but that didn’t last long and by the time I was 30 it was in full force again. My normal would have laid many women flat out and pretty much every man I’ve ever known too. What I’ve learned in the years since the cancer diagnosis, however, is that my normal is far more common and untreated than I ever imagined.

My mother had a health crisis that nearly killed her in the summer of 2000. I left graduate school to care for her full-time and was grateful I was free to make that choice. By the time I got her well enough to be safe to leave at home on her own so I could work, and I had a job waiting for me at a government agency here in Memphis (we were living in Mississippi at the time), I had begun a bout of extreme bleeding that did not stop.

Because of this bleeding and the hours’ long commute, I realized it would be unreasonable to take that job. I would need at least three changes of clothing every day to ensure I would be properly clad in unsoiled clothes. I was getting weaker and more anemic by the day and thus was not a terribly safe driver.

The logical thing would have been for me to have gotten medical treatment, but I had no money, no insurance, and if I’m being brutally honest, I was still blaming myself for having been raped years before. My low self-esteem was exacerbated by the psychological ramifications of the near constant bleeding and hormones in play. I felt I was being deservedly punished for past sins, which I know now was ridiculous, but at the time that was what I believed.

Finally, in March of 2003, I collapsed in the parking lot of my mother’s doctor’s office. All at once I was surrounded by medical personnel and they got me into a wheelchair and into the clinic. They tested my blood, and my hematocrit level was 12. Normal is over 30 for menstruating women. I was told that I was in danger of dying at any moment, and they sent me to the hospital in an ambulance.

I was in the hospital for less than 48 hours. During that time I went through several uncomfortable medical procedures and was pretty well traumatized. They kicked me to the curb when my hematocrit levels hit 19.

The aftercare I had was crappy at best, but I stuck to the same doctor until November 2005. She refused to get me another endometrial biopsy because I had no money. She told me to get Medicaid and left me with the impression that it was easy to do, and so I went through that months-long process only to be refused because they did not believe I was eligible for SSI. In Mississippi, I was told that the Medicaid people are literally not allowed to speak to you if you have not been approved for SSI first.
In a panic, we tried to get my uncle to help us get back to Memphis, where I had a better shot of getting care, but he flatly refused. He did offer to buy us plane tickets to NC so my siblings could help us. Then he dithered, hemmed, and hawed, and after I sent an exasperated note to my friend B., B. came through and bought us plane tickets and I knew I had a chance to get help once back in NC.

In a nutshell, we gave up everything we owned to go to NC. The day we left Mississippi we left my elderly cats at the shelter because my uncle was late coming to get us and so we missed the appointment I’d made with a vet to have them put to sleep with us there. I still have nightmares about leaving those kitties to an unknown fate and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive my uncle for being such a recalcitrant asshole that day.

The bleeding I experienced was not just heavy menstrual bleeding. Besides a constant flow of blood, I had huge clots spewing out of me. It was a Stephen King nightmare. There were times when I got to the bathroom and the mere action of sitting on the toilet would send clots as big as my fist shooting across the floor. It was horrific.

Unfortunately, there are thousands upon thousands women experiencing what I did every day in this country. I’ve been astonished how many women have told me that they or their sister or best friend or co-worker are having or had similar experiences to mine. It’s terrifying, really.

So, I sent a note to relatives, my siblings, begging for help. The result of my letter was one from my siblings, saying we were not welcome or wanted and that if we dared show up at any of their doors that they would have us forcibly removed by the authorities.

At that point, I’d been bleeding heavily for five or more years, my mother was non-ambulatory and chronically ill, I’d just murdered/abandoned my kitties, and we’d already left everything we owned behind and were homeless. We had nowhere to go in NC and we had no idea what was wrong with me.

We got on that plane anyhow. Upon arriving at RDU, we immediately went to the emergency room at Rex Hospital where I was told my hematocrits were 17. They had likely been that or lower for several years by that point.I was immediately given whole blood, and after hormones to stop the bleeding didn’t work and 8 units later of red cells, my blood levels were deemed okay for surgery. A lovely cardiologist was brought in to check my heart to see if I could withstand the radical hysterectomy I needed, and after the all clear from him, I was operated on less than 48 hours after my arrival in North Carolina.

The surgery was very traumatic for my doctors, and then I didn’t want to wake up in the recovery room. Once they finally got me awake, my kind, older male doctor, told me they’d found an 8.5 cm tumor in my uterus and that cancer was 2/3 or more through the uterine wall, but somehow did not seem to have penetrated it. As a precaution, after getting advice from a gynecological oncologist at Duke, they’d removed every female internal organ I had. The man telling me this actually had tears in his eyes. He and my lady doctor were quietly furious over what had happened to me here in Memphis and they were determined to make sure I had care.

After having been in the hospital a week, I was booted because, of course, I had no money or insurance. It was then I found out that if I were an immigrant, illegal even, that I could have had emergency Medicaid. But because I was a born US citizen, I would have to jump through hoops and such to get any help. I was over that, of course, after what I went through in Mississippi, and later on, after I jumped through those hoops, I was rejected for help because, essentially, my college education meant that I was more than capable of taking care of myself and the cancer had been removed and so I was shit out of luck.

We were homeless again after my release from the hospital. The medical staff, however, couldn’t release me unless I had a place to go. I found a motel in Durham, where they’d arranged for me to undergo radiation at Duke, that was in an area with which I was somewhat familiar and that had special rates for Duke patients. The staff at the hospital took up a collection and we had enough cash to pay for five nights. My friend, B., contributed some and we had some money of our own come in and my uncle even helped some.

We stayed at the creepy motel for six weeks. The night we arrived I fell, busting open my incision, and I ended up going by ambulance to the ER @ Duke, which was very traumatic and painful. I was terrified as I’d never had major surgery before and had no idea if my guts were going to come spilling out or not. I was in the ER for thirteen hours (appx.) and the next morning I got back to the motel where my mother was hungry and thirsty and a bit freaked out.

We found a place to live in federally subsidized housing for the elderly in downtown Durham. It was rife with roaches. The walls were not connected to the floors or ceilings. Spiders descended from the beamed rafters. The noise was incessant and terrible and I was freaking out all the time because I’d become hyper-sensitive to noise during my illness, something I later found out is not uncommon.

I began experiencing instant chemical menopause while my incision finished healing and the symptoms were brutal. The menopausal symptoms were temporarily interrupted while I underwent 25 pelvic radiation treatments at Duke.

There’s more, much more, but this gives you an idea of what I went through.

--Virginia Lee

david@davidtoussaint.com

"Bad to Death" (Miss Priss Edition)

2010-06-19T19:31:00.000-07:00

Snotty Chearleader of the Week

Glee whiz, it's Ryan Murphy.

My last column, "Bad to Death", comes with a nice postscript.

I saw "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" on Monday night and thought it was terrific. I've also heard good things about "Toy Story 17,000," so here's hoping.

The Illegal Wedding Fair was lots of fun, and I even sold a few bucks.

Remember, never take me seriously unless I'm joking.

All my best,
David Toussaint

Now, THAT'S a postscript.

--drt

The Bully Pulpit (Cake-Cutting Edition)

2010-05-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

My new column, The Bully Pulpit, is a long time in the making; since childhood, to be exact. I wrote it up after I had lunch with Carson Kressley, and he suggested the idea. My initial reaction was, YOU should be writing this, as he has such a wonderful way of expressing his individuality.

Anyway, he got me to thinking, and after all the stuff with the girl in Springfield, Massachusetts, it seemed like a good idea. How do you survive something like this and not write about it? Or do something about it? Then, I think the next day, there was another article in the New York Times, Phoebe Prince, documenting the tragedy.

I don't remember when I started writing the column, but it seemed to take forever. What doesn't surprise me are all the readers' comments I received saying they'd had a very similar childhood. Tragic, huh. What a lot of people don't realize about writing is that, when you do write about something personal, it becomes less personal after publication, because 99.9 percent of the time a million other people have experienced something similar.

On an ironic note, now I've written a gay and lesbian wedding book and live in place where the only bullies are internal ones.

I'll be speaking at the Illegal Wedding Fair on June 6. It should be fun.

Take care of yourself, and each other. And keep your eyes open.

All my best,
David Toussaint

My Particular Penis

2010-05-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

My last column, Mo-Bro, was written awhile back but I've not had a chance to post it until now.

You see, My Particular Penis was in Miami for almost a month, doing what penises so often do: lying in the sun, hitting the beach, thinking for me.

I hope that you like Mo-Bro. The man it was based on has not read it, and, ironically, has a new girlfriend who's madly in love with him, and who's gorgeous. It seems she feels the same way about him. I'm thrilled for both of them.

That particular bathing suit belongs to my friend Rusty, who was kind enough to loan it to me. I grew very fond of it and even took it to SoBe.

It had a good time.

Well, that's all for new. It's tired and time to get some work done.

RETRO PENIS EXCLUSIVE

Ah, good times. Good Penises.

David Toussaint

Past, Tense

2010-03-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

Bye Bye David

Dave at 18 ("Bye Bye Birdie," Onstage Theater, Walnut Creek, California.

It's not that these pictures are so old that it's scary; it's that it's my real hair in the photos. I remember going to class the day after one performance and some chick saying to her friend, "Oh My God*, he really has a pompadour."

*OMG was not used back then.

I bring up my past because someone interviewed me for their Reincarnation Blog. And 18 was another life ago. I didn't much care for most of it, and my heart was broken so many times that year. Oddly, the girl who played Kim in the show had a crush on me, as someone in the chorus informed me. She was beautiful and a wonderful singer. I sooooooooo wanted to be straight, because I thought it would be so cool if the two "stars" were dating. But it wasn't meant to be. Her name was Laura--don't know what happened to her; she's probably on Facebook :)

In Latin America News, Gay Like You interviewed me about being, well, gay like me. The gentleman who runs the blog is from Peru, and I told him about one of my first boyfriends in New York, Willie, who was a Peruvian flight attendant-slash-hustler. Curiously, that part of the interview was left out. I loved Willie. He wanted to be a model, and he could have been. We kept in touch for a long time, and I think he put away the hustling shoes for permanent wings.

All for now.

"Give me evidence of its brilliance."--Madonna, "Future Lovers"

you're in the book,
--David Toussaint

DR(an)T (Did "Dancing with the Stars" Twist the Ankle?)

2010-03-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Welcome to DR(an)T.

Photo: "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka warms up before his DWTS debut Monday night.

As DWTS starts its 10th season Monday Night, I'm not going to be watching. I wrote up a short piece as to my thoughts on the show. Enjoy (and hey, catch up on your reading...that's what I'm gonna do).

How Dancing with the Stars Twisted Its Ankle, by David Toussaint...

The success of “Dancing with the Stars” rests in its perfectly balanced title. TV audiences love to watch professional dancers, and they love to watch stars. Combining the two was genius. I first checked out the show in 2007, the season that Marie Osmond fainted, and was instantly hooked. Watching Donny’s famous sister dance as a wind-up doll wasn’t why I kept coming back, and I never would have tuned in to a show in which Susan Lucci read poetry or Mario Lopez debated global warming. The dancers rooted the storyline, and served as the straight man to their celebrity partner’s frequent pratfalls, sometimes glorious triumphs.

In the few years since, the show has lost its equal footing. The ratings are still great (DWTS has always been a top ten hit), but the fun factor’s slipped. Part of the problem was inevitable: Since the program features many of the same dancers each season, after five years those dancers are more recognizable than half the “stars.” Cheryl Burke, Mark Ballas, and Derek Hough, just to name a few, are famous in their own right, and it’s embarrassing to watch them play second banana to a former “Maxim” model.

The other problem feeds the first: DWTS is no longer about “stars”; it’s about celebrity and popularity. Viewers’ votes count for half the scores, and while that’s necessary for ratings and surprise, it’s become a joke. With few exceptions, most notably Brooke Burke, Season 8’s winner (DWTS is on twice a year, hence the disparity between seasons and years aired), the best dancers now just get bumped off early or lose to whoever’s got a stronger text-coordinated voting drive.

Last season we saw Mya lose to Donny Osmond; before that Gilles Marini lost to gymnast Shawn Johnson. Gilles and Mya could have careers as dancers, while Donny and Shawn were adorable fan favorites. I missed Emmitt Smith’s win over Mario Lopez, but I don’t think I have to remind you which of the two went on to star in “A Chorus Line” on Broadway. Other exceptional dancer-stars, like Sabrina Bryan in 2007, got voted off early for no apparent reason other than that viewers were annoyed by their personalities, or talent.

The three judges could help matters by scoring every star equally, not on the “most improved” rating scale they too frequently practice. To avoid the endless, discussion-board arguments over dance training, the producers should set a firm, stated rule as to how much experience stars are allowed. Last year, Executive Producer Conrad Green said he’d welcome Paula Abdul as a guest, despite her long career as a dancer/choreographer. He cited her lack of ballroom training as sufficient. By that standard, Mikhail Baryshnikov would be eligible. (When former “Hairspray” star Marissa Jaret Winokur competed, no one questioned her Tony Award-winning turn as an overweight girl who’s such a fantastic dancer she makes it big on a local dance program.)

There’s a marked difference between a star and a celebrity, and the latter approach is a turn off, literally. While I’m not expecting Streisand or Streep to take guest spins, half the “stars” are famous for either modeling topless (Burke and last season’s Joanna Krupa), their own reality TV shows (rejected bachelorette Melissa Rycroft), or scandal (indicted Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s appearance was shameless).

They do have other resources: This past summer I interviewed Olympic champion Greg Louganis about his tireless, and highly publicized, efforts to appear on the program. Despite five gold medals and two books, the Greatest Diver in the World has been turned down repeatedly. The openly gay athlete has been told that he has either “too much dance experience,” or not enough “star power.” Apparently, Winokur didn’t suffer either one of those problems. Since Lance Bass, the only openly gay star to appear on the show, surfaced right after gay rights groups complained that the program discriminated against out dancers, I suspect that DeLay’s appearance wasn’t the first political choice.

Rejected Star: Not Enough Fame.

Season Ten, which premieres on March 22, pairs Shannen Doherty, Pamela Anderson, and Buzz Aldrin as real stars amid a lot of people you need wouldn’t notice unless you bumped into them on Dmitry Chaplin’s arm. Not surprisingly, the biggest attraction this season is realty star crash Kate Gosselin, who’s out-performing even the New Bachelor, Jake Pavelka, in the pre-publicity buzz. (In yet another sad trend, Pavelka and Rycroft were recruited immediately after their respective “Bachelor” shows’ finales, making DWTS seem like just another ABC cross-over marketing ploy.)

DWTS was never intended to be anything more than an exuberant talent contest, and a chance to watch some of your favorite entertainers strut their stuff. What many of us liked about the show was that it was a viable alternative to the mean-spirited themes of “Idol,” “Survivor,” and, yes, Gosselin’s own “Kate Plus 8.” That smart premise has been replaced by online sites that bash contestants and invent rumors about stars made famous because they’re booked, a voting standard that wouldn’t hold up in any middle school, and the inevitable disappointment of knowing that the best dancer you see on March 22 will more than likely be gone before the Mirror Ball trophy finds its winner.

<<<<"DWTS" brightest star.

You're in the book.

--David Toussaint

"The Funny Pit"

2010-03-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Enter At Your Own Risk...

My blog had to go on vacation as I've spent the past month chasing down freelance checks. Exhausting work, this getting what is owed to you. I wrote a column for EDGE, called "The Funny Pit."

The Funny Pit

I hope that you enjoy it. I saw "The Blind Side" the night before the Oscars. Oy. Sandra Bullock is such a fine actor, and that was such a bad movie.

Regardless, I strongly suggest you see Bruno if you missed it.

Good news on the book front: "Toussaint!" is now available on Mac and Blackberry; the Kindle App is free, so you only pay the $9.99 price. Check it out.

"Toussaint!" on Mac and Blackberry!

Okay, off to gym. Will blog more soon. It's been an exhausting month.

And remember, you're in the book.
David Toussaint

"How to Write a Fire," by David Toussaint (DIRECTOR'S CUT)

2010-02-09T18:16:00.000-08:00

Hi,

Just thought I would post my new column, "'How to Write a Fire,'" by David Toussaint."

(gay people make the mainstream tongue-tied)

"How to Write a Fire," by David Toussaint

I've been meaning to write this story for a couple of years, but never felt the time was right. As I wrote in the column, I no longer have the same fears I used to; don't care what people think. And many of my fears are gone. The important things matter. Health, happiness, my friends, my dog, my loves.

And I've realized that, if you don't stand up for what you believe in, you might as well grab a mud hut and settle down.

I also have the original New York Times Business Section Article, HERE!

Alas, "The Striking Similarities Between the Chelsea Boy and the Conde Nast Girl" is gone. The site that published it, Outsider Inc., vanished awhile back and removed all content. But, as you can imagine, it was quite scandalous (lol).

The actual "Bride's" gay and lesbian wedding article, "Outward Bound," is not on-line. Perhaps I'll frame my printed copy :)

All my best,
David

PS: They really are in the book!
David Toussaint

Up in the Scare--LOADED with Extras!

2010-01-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

I finished "Up in the Scare" the night before the special election in Masachusetts. I had a hunch the Playboy Bunny was going to win, and that was a whole different ball of wax--one I didn't want to touch yet. Oy gay, what a way to start off the new decade. Not him, of course, but this one....

Doy Vay.

We, the idiots, are responsible for somehow not thinking healthcare is a good, American ideal, but those, the "leaders" are the ones who have to convince, fight, get their fingers in the dirt, not the manicurist's office. I've not seen Obama do anything "leader-like" in the entire year. Yes, I'm thrilled he replaced gWb, and, yes, I will vote for him over a doofus G.O.P. (God of Profit), but he's the Professor to Hillary's Mary Ann, or Ginger, or the Howells. So, yes, I'm also angry. You don't bring together two parties; you lead one party, and allow the other to follow, or lose.

The gays hate him, and rightly so. Fuck DOMA, just don't fuck each other, dudes. Because, well, as a strong, smart, African-American who has a dream, I don't understand why you'd expect or want equal rights. Deal with it as I have not.

DAVID'S RANT OF THE DAY

On top of everything else wrong with Obama's approach, here's another thing he forgot to do. The day after the new Penthouse Pet, Scott Brown, won, Glenn Beck made a comment saying their could be a dead intern. We are so accustomed to the blabbering idiots who rant and rave and bellow (forgive the blatant "South Pacific" rip-off), that we don't even bother to say how horrific that comment was. Beck, in a sideways fashion, accused Brown, of possible murder.

Now, if Obie Won had a brain, as well as a heart and courage and maybe some Friends of Dorothy, he would have lambasted Beck's words, saying "America will not tolerate our new senator being threatened by the bigots of the media."

Um, to quote Keanu Reeves in anything, "duh."

This way, Mr. President, you've lambasted the RIGHT for attacking someone on the RIGHT. It's not political science, Barack, it's political. (Oh, and also, it would be the right thing to do.)

Meanwhile, there was the whole Supreme Court thing---who will Walmart pick for Pres????

So another column done for now.

In the meantime, folks, let's learn from the Gods of Profit and steal their playbook. Here's how it goes. Scott Brown posed "nude" for Cosmo. Cosmo is not unlike Playgirl, and 80 perecent of Playgirl models are gay. I've slept with two, I've seen them in porn, I've seen them serving drinks in gay bars. If that's true, and 10 percent of all men are gay, then there's a 90 percent chance that the new Hustler Pin-Up is actually a gay hustler.

You heard it was a rumor, while I heard it was true. (Oh, and by the way, it's a known fact that gay men love to dress up in uniform. I think we're at 98 percent now.)

I hope you enjoyed the column. Someone recently asked me how I figure out the beginnings, since they tie into the ends. I simply explained the "Completion Backward Principle" as performed by my favorite group, The Tubes. Check them out sometime. They are wonderful.

I can't think of a better note to end on....

And remember,
You're in the book.
David Toussaint