Drunk Nothings

Theres always next year

2012-02-07T10:53:00.001-05:00

The Patriots lose on the last possession yet again. On a brighter side at least Chrissy hit the coin toss again.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. TK's son, Pete, is engaged and TK couldn't be happier. ONE VAGINA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
2. Really a reality show based on "an insider's look at the faith, hard work, and family that make this(SOUTHIE) blue-collar enclave Beantown's beating heart" WHAT!!
3. Another year and yet another year of not winning a square.
4. The party up at the View just ain't the same. Pre game cards, bean bag toss, and reserved tables. Man things changed.
5. Chrissy saves up all his cans and then has a huge kegger with his returns money(he will let you know when his bash is):

6. No, this isn't from this past Sunday:

7. The Valentines day pub crawl is this Saturday. Who is getting their Swole on?

8. I actually went 2 days without showering, Friday and Saturday...longest in a long time.

9. Darts starts back up tonight - same squad; new location.

10. People get so jealous when someone wins a square. I mean Rio hit 2 and I thought people were gonna bum rush him.

11. I am debating doing my taxes myself this year.

12. Finding time to get a haircut has become a pain in my balls.

13. Its always good to have EMT friends around for when you are under the weather. Fall down go boom!

14. There is nothing funnier than when your friend gets spoken to by the Alcohol commission at a sporting event.

15. Joe Q likes his Gin and tonics and then to chew on some ice.

16. I guess there was real surprise that William J Smiddy blew off the Superbowl party.

17. Is there anything more shitty than having a vivid dream and waking up to total disappointment.

18. $500 is the going rate for bringing Ronin to the vet - for a routine check up?

19. Supah P is looking for a house in the Quincy area; if anyone knows of any please pass the word along.

20. Yes Chrissy I know yesterday was not an official ho ho holiday but it is in Whitleyville.

21. Joe Martell is supposed to be getting his Hummer back today.

22. Mikey T still has several Sox games available for this upcoming season. In packs of 2 or 4 seats.

Here is the dart schedule for the year:

Vegas Baby!

2012-02-02T10:03:00.000-05:00

Las Vegas - Metro police officer John Norman turned himself in at the Clark County Detention Center Wednesday afternoon to face charges that he tried to talk women into exposing their breasts to him. Norman’s arrest report outlines the first incident from last summer in which he allegedly followed a woman to her home, admitted he didn’t have any reason to stop her, but wanted her to know she lived in a high crime area, then handcuffed her and instructed her how to shake her breasts out of her bra to show she wasn’t hiding anything. Then in late December accused of asking a woman during a traffic stop to take off her bra, and placing his hands on her breasts claiming to search for drugs. Norman is on administrative leave.

HMMM I wonder why people don't like the police? I haven't got the foggiest. While reading this I inserted Officer Christian MacPhail, just to give it that Massachusetts feel. I could 100% see Chrissy doing this around Halloween.

Hmmm

2012-01-30T09:29:00.000-05:00

With the Super Bowl less than a week away I am starting to get that Christmassy feeling. Obviously the good Lord is a Boston sports fan - this Sunday the Celtics are on at 12 noon, the Bruins are on at 12:30 and then the Patriots play at 6:30. That's an early day for boozing. I couldn't imagine being an east coast transplant on the west coast watching games at 9am and drinking bloody Marys.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The average person eats 8.5 pounds of pickles a year.
2. People are not buying squares like they used to.
3. Rio is very particular about who works out near him.
4. The dart team is getting back together but no longer out of Peggy O'niels but rather out of South Side Tavern.
5. Speaking of Peggy's, Chrissys favorite bartender Leslie was fired for a no call no show. Sad day!
6. The first canned beer went on sale on January 23rd, 1935.
7. Anyone looking for a Saturday baby sitting gig? 8 am till 8 pm watching the Chiefdudes 2 children. Good cash paid!
8. I am losing Twitter followers like a sonofabitch!
9. Katie wants to try and foster this dog until it can get a permanent home http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/22056402
10. I would love for the NBA to adopt the draft style All star game.
11. Waking up with a stiff neck sucks. I mean, am I 34 or 66?
12. Who the fuck likes Drake?
13. Apparently my word with friends addiction is bad. I have people talking about how many games I play at a time and how come I don't play word back in a reasonable manner. UHM hello I am rocking 20 games!
14. Fucking Redsox.com kicked me off twice Saturday after I waited in line for over 3 hours.

Hope to see you all up at the View for the Annual Super Bowl party:

The View Restaurant and Tavern

at Presidents Golf Course

357 West Squantum Street, Quincy MA 02171

617.770.2500

Beeristas?

2012-01-24T09:56:00.000-05:00

CLEVELAND - Tall, venti and grande may no longer refer to just coffee at Starbucks. The coffee giant now plans to sell beer and wine at select locations.

Starbucks will start selling it by the end of this year in a number of cafes in Atlanta and Southern California.

The company said it is exploring an expansion beyond morning coffee and afternoon pick-me-ups.

"As our customers transition from work to home, many are looking for a warm and inviting place to unwind," Starbucks' senior vice president Clarice Turner said.

Starbucks said it has already been doing a test run at some of its coffeehouses for over a year now. The company does not expect to sell alcohol in all of its nearly 11,000 U.S. cafes.

I guess they are trying to bring a coffee house vibe to having a few beers. I guess this could work if people went to have a few beers and had no one to go with. I mean how many people just chill at Starbucks alone and drink coffees? Tons, so I can see where the same fools who stop for coffee in the am would then stop for a few beers on the way home to their bitching wives and screaming kids. Then when you walk in the door 30 minutes later than normal; "I stopped off at Starbucks" sounds a whole lot better than "I met Vinny at the Sand Trap for a few". Good Luck Starbucks. Let me know when you start having mixed drinks because vodka mixed with the Passion tea and Passion team lemonade would be 100% my new favorite drink.

Match is set

2012-01-23T09:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was quite a day to be a Boston fan - The Celtics, Bruins and Patriots all won. Everyone wanted the Giants/Patriots super bowl rematch, well now you have it. How many times are we going to have to see the David Tyree helmet catch over the next 2 weeks? A Bajillion??

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Getting the right colored couch can make your wife the happiest person in the world.
2. The Super Bowl party at the View may be in jeopardy due to Direct TV and channel 7s dispute.
3. Faneuil Hall is the 4th most popular tourist destination in the US with 19 million visitor per year - 1. Times Square 2. Vegas Strip 3. National Mall.
4. Who has a Pre Cana on Super Bowl Sunday?
5. What are the rules for baby showers. I thought the shower was for a 1st baby born not a 3rd...
6. Has anyone else watch Alcatraz? I am going to give it a try. I hope it is better than TerraNova.
7. The word "whiskey" derives from the Gaelic for meaning "water of life". Seems about right.
8. How does a Roxies not have a prime rib roast? I should of just went to Lamberts.
9. I am pretty pissed that Scramble with Friends is only on the iphone and ipad. I like word games. Hey Zynga SUCK IT!
10. They treat the streets of Quincy with sea water prior to a big snow storm, to try and prevent ice build up.
11. Is the Mirage trying to get me to go to Vegas for the Superbowl? I mean 3 free nights? Jet Blue has air fare from $289. I mean it sounds like a perfect storm.
12. Jeffrey just discovered blip it. He is straight killing it on there.
13. I am not a fan of Panera Breads lunch/dinner. The mac and cheese was pretty good though.
14. I heard rumblings of a Shaun Larry wedding heating up fast and furiously. I don't know if thats a rumor or not but that's what I heard.
15. I don't know if I am more addicted to Super Stickman golf or Zombie Dash. I love free games.

16.

It snowed yeah!!

2012-01-17T11:05:00.002-05:00

I had planned to update this blog yesterday with things I learned. But while I was sitting on my ass at work, playing word with friends and checking my twitter I just didn't get around to it. I didn't know that Chrissy was going to be so mad about it, so thats why I am also posting this later than the normal 9 o'clock post time. Just to razz him a tab bit more.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. In the average lifetime a person will breath in about 44 pounds of dust.
2. Chrissy's daughter may or may not of walked in on her parents partaking in some freaky deaky in her young age.
3. How can anyone pass up double time and a half on a holiday?
4. Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks. You know I love me some sharks.
5. I am going through fits trying to figure out how to get rid of dry scalp.
6. Apparently, Jeffrey is above store bought meatballs.
7. I am classifying the 2nd Annual Yankee Re-gift swap a success.
8. If I were on that cruise ship that is capsizing. I WOULD BE FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!
9. The Celtics just do not have it.
10. Mitchells cousin is a world renown executive pastry chef on the Cape. She works for 3 restaurants.
11. People are pumped for the yearly Superbowl Party up at the View. Hope everyone can make it.
12. Ronin does not like to be sat on, by adults. He doesn't care if a child stomps or pulls on him.
13. Does it mean I am officially old when I hear Michael Jackson's Thriller on Oldies 103?
14. Jeffrey is ducking playing Ervin on the golf simulator.
15. Supah P's beard is a thing of wonder. I think there may be a family of swallows living in it.
16. I don't think I have ever had a bad meal at Boston Beer works, never had a great meal either.
17. Sometimes life lessons are taught at the age of 18 months.
18. Who watched the Jenny Jones show? I never did. I watched Ricki Lake, Gerlado Rivera and even Sally but never Jenny Jones.
19. Supah and Welchie are in the process of getting the Dart team back together. Any name suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
20. Katie has joined twitter @puppylovaK8ee.
21. I guess the Red Wings while partying with Kid Rock dont party with the yayo!

TMX ADSL YEAR END...

2012-01-12T10:51:00.000-05:00

The fantasy football season has ended and Tmx is here to report all about it!! Tmx is a fantasy reporting media committed to 20% TRUTH!! The final week of the season saw the SSSC Complex shutdown with renovations and updates. The winner of the week was the Beach Bums who held off the team Hoodsie. Beach Bums put on an impressive 3 week run with 189, 130 and 171, showing the league that the old standard of 100pts no longer equals a good week, in a valiant effort for a 3 peat. The Jerkshots finished in last for the week and took a tumble down the stretch. Tmx cant offer any advice to help him for next week but will attempt to review each team. The first week without fantasy brings a relief for some and others were praying for one more week to make a move or to win the weekly winner prize. This season only two teams failed to win a week. Jerkshots who started off strong and Hoodsie who finished with an impressive push and by most accounts had his weekly win in the last week til Bradshaw decided to do nothing in the second half of the late game!! Tough luck there. Now Tmx will do what its done all season and HELP the teams of the league. All Iggles Team you're pretty much the most hated team in the league and Tmx refuses to offer you anything but HAMMY DANCES.

First team up is The White Devils last place dress wearers. It was nearly a record breaking season for the Devils as they almost broke the league record for least points!! Injuries are a part of fantasy football and Devils season started off by losing their number one pick Jamall Charles and never fully recovered. Their leading scorer was Mike Wallace who didnt even break the 200 pt mark for the season . Mason Crosby a kicker finished higher than his 2nd rb. Tmx did extensive research and the thing that stands out the most is the budget conscious approach the Devils chose to employ. They finished with the lowest transaction spent despite being in the best possible waiver spot a majority of the year. Its almost as if they decided to save their money for a dress. The devils were able to win week 7 but never could get a consistent rhythm going. The obvious advice going into next year is for the Devils to save up and be willing to spend and pick up the right pieces to replace the injured and non producing players or they could just go to the draft and live off others waiver money that lands in the pot? Choice is yours Tmx dont judge just helps!!

The ninth place and beer bitch this year is Dillons Villenz. Villenz fancies himself as the smartest GM in ADSL or just refuses to accept the help TMX has offered him. He was able to win 2 weeks during the season as TMX advised him to make trades and hit the wire but late in the season he seemed to just sit and get ready to get beers at the draft. His last week quote when told his MVP Mccoy was out was, "yeah I'm not worried and dont need Ben Tate" congrats Villenz that move cost you beer bitch by one point. Mccoy was Villenz leading scorer dropping an impressive 325 and was followed by Eli Manning who he picked up in a great trade. Janikowski was able to outscore the wr production for the Villenz which he struggled with all year. The last week of the season Villenz got some insider info(obvi not from TMX) that the RAMS would rest their starters and decided to sit top wr Brandon Lloyd which would have moved him into 8th. TMX obvious advice for Villenz is LISTEN TO TMX they are after all here to help. Tmx was who told you to hit the wire and pick up players that got you out of last as well as told you to make trades that got you your second leading scorer simply put TMX is here to help! Take the help its free and Tmx knows you love free! Final TMX advice for Villenz that we hope he uses is bring a box to carry the beers and make sure you write down the order cuz Leslie may be on one and if Mungo is there she will be distracted.

The 8th place finisher is L8nite Menu. A frustrating season for L8nite who had the number one pick and vowed Mike Vick would win him a week and one week is all he could win. One of the more active guys on the wire and trade market L8nite was constantly moving and shifting players trying to climb to the top. He was locked in a battle with his arch-rival Villenz for the beer bitch spot which he eventually won by ONE POINT!! Despite a relatively disappointing season Mike Vick was L8nite's leading scorer, the number one pick only gave him 196pts. L8nites activity on the wire is evident in the fact that late season pick up Mike Bush finished 53pts behind top pick Vick! The other top performer for L8nite was Ravens D which was his 2nd leading scorer!! Tmx research indicates that L8nites problem may have been crumbling to the pressure of the number one pick and spending the rest of the season trying to recover. Tmx likes the go for broke style but in this case it didnt bring him the title. The obvious advice in this case is go for broke on the wire and trade market as that seems to work but play it safer on draft day especially at the number one spot. Tmx knows that the beers at this draft will be satisfying as Villenz will be serving them up no doubt early and often.

The 7th place team this year was Jerk Shots. The Jerk Shots were a lighting rod from the draft day 20 minute 2nd round pick right up to the invention of the hammy dance. They were in the mix right til the end when ironically the healthiest team in ADSL history lost their top backs. The Jerk Shots are one of only 3 teams in the league with 2 players getting over 300pt yet still he couldnt pull out a weekly win. The frustrating Philip "muddy" Rivers led the team with 315 followed by the 20 minute 2nd round pick Wes Welker with 307. Tmx in the preseason picks that never got published due to contract issues with Drunknothings.com had picked the Jerk Shots to finish in the money based on their lineup its only weakness being the defensive which it addressed by using 5 D's throughout the season. Tmx did break news on several trades that Jerkshots refused to accept one of which was for top tight end Tony Gonzalez so the obvious advice for the Jerkshots is to look to make a move rather than be so loyal to some players. The only team in the league trying to fleece any other team is All Iggles. The secret partner of the Jerk Shots or whoever is running the team will have to learn that the league doesnt end at the draft and titles are won during the season.

The 6th place team this year was The Madd Fucking Niggerish Towelman. Tmfntm fought his way from the middle of the pack to the money and then starting qb and leading Tmfntm scorer Tony Romo went down in the last week and Tmfntm fell out of the money!! Four players coming in over 200pts usually equals money but not this year. Many in the league say it was from never starting Tim Tebow benching the holy one but Tmx doesnt believe in such a conspiracy! Tmfntm won week 10 and seemed to get in a groove even had Eddie Pinnette screaming at the SSSC complex as his team racked up points to inch to the top. Tmfntm hit on some big plays at the draft like Jimmy Graham, Julio Jones David "fucking" Akers and the revived Steve Smith and was able to survive CJ and Chris Wells off years but at the end it was too much to take a 0 from Tony Romo in the 2nd to last week of the season as team leaped past him. Tmx advice for Tmfntm is for next season not to cross Tim Tebow(not full believers but just in case Tmx doesnt want to get shut down) its the only explanation how a season can turn so quick or I guess dont draft Holy Romo as he breaks hearts. Tmfntm stayed in it till the final week and THAT is what fantasy is about well that and Tmx reporting, anyway we move on.

The 5th place team this year was team Hoodsie. Team Hoodsie started off the season losing Peyton Manning then had injury issues with Andre Johnson, Moreno, Fjax, Hightower etc but somehow was able to make a push toward the top!! Hoodsie was the other team that couldnt put in a weekly win despite to 2nd place finishes in the last 2 weeks as Matt Stafford caught fire. Hoodsie is the type of team that showed the league what using the wire and trades can do, never sitting still he racked up some waiver costs but he was still just 20pts out of the money. Tmx believes this is what fantasy is all about. Overcame a draft that didnt go his way, overcame injuries, and just plugged his way into a title oops sorry the reality part of fantasy is he got a respectable 5th place spot. Back up Qb Matt Stafford led Hoodsie with a whopping 458pts and Hoodsie got 5 others to get over 100pts. Tmx cant offer much advice to a team that did all it could and finished in 5th spot except maybe to try and get his team to come out of the gate faster or make the league last longer as he finished one of the hottest teams!!

The 4th place team and Tmx preseason pick to win it all is team No Legs. No Legs finished 13pts out of the money and easily would have had that if he didnt sit Jordy Nelson the last week. A glaring error no doubt but not much can be said as he was able to rule the wire with the pick ups of the year Jordy Nelson and Victor Cruz both got over 140pts and Cruz a later addition was his 3rd leading scorer behind Aaron Rodgers who despite sitting out the last week ended up with 515pts 2nd most in the league!! No Legs had issues with rb with only Turner pitching in but he was still able to add and plug in players to make it work. The season was just as all No Legs or Skza or Street Pharmacist or Bring Back Mungo seasons are- they were in the mix and would be there at the end. This year one error was all it took to keep No Legs from the money though he did pull off two weekly wins. Tmx advice is simple we play til week 17 so you gotta play your players till the end. Jordy Nelson breakout year wasnt over in week 16!!!! Nothing to be ashamed of overcame rb issues and played til the end.

The 3rd place team is Sflabo Home for Rehabilitated Wizards. Led by leading rb Ray Rice 355pts and two more players over 200 Sflabo pulled the trigger on a deal when starting qb Matt Schaub went down and was able to jump into the top with 2 weekly wins and despite losing Matt Forte. Pick ups Marion Barber, Laurent Robinson and J. Stewart helped him late in the season. Sflabo was active on the wire and offered up his tight ends all season long but in the end was able hold off the most contested spot up top which came down to the final game. Tmx was impressed with the draft and trading from strength that Sflabo was able to do the only advice would be to not have an All Iggles mvp on your team and swing a deal so your not stuck. A solid season.

The 2nd place team is Beach Bums. The Beach Bums were led by league MVP and leading scorer Drew Brees who led the league with 537pts as the fourth qb taken. Not much can be said about the Beach Bums who won the last two leagues and was on his way to a 3rd with some successful trades and great pickups. The blue print is set that if you want to win this thing you need to have a headquarters like Beach Bums and stay on top of everything from draft day til week 17. Tmx is pretty sure he's scouting players right now. Beach Bums had an answer for his injuries and played the right players as he has done the past 3 years. Beach Bums won 2 of the last 3 weeks and finished with 4 weekly wins. He may have finished 2nd and had his three peat stopped but he did finish first in transaction once again. Tmx advice for next season is to keep your head on a swivel you're the one people want to knock off.

The winner of this years league was the Slippery Wizards. The Slippery Wizards join 06 Team Rookie(rob); 07 Afro Samurai ( mike and los); 08 Dead beat dad (deegs) 09-10 Beach Bums (rob) as winners of Adsl. Slippery Wizards had to put up the most points in league history and win 4 weeks to get the win and was led by 3 players with over 300pts including new superstar Rob Gronkowski. The Slippery WIzards led the league from wire to wire and despite using a league high SEVEN defenses(I guess defense doesnt win championships) he was able to pull off the beer bitch to championship run. Tmx advice to Slippery Wizards first is to stop complaining as the Wizards complaining also went wire to wire and hope that they are able to find another hot draft pick to overcome losing their number one rusher!!

Well the season is done and we can go back to not worrying about who to play and who to pick up for another year. Thanks as always to the commishner for doing the job none of us want to do but we all cant survive unless he does it. Till next year. TMX..................

Uhm

2012-01-09T11:11:00.002-05:00

Hello Mr. Winter are you going to show up this year? Just curious is all. I can deal with the 10 days of 40 plus weather in January if you are taking an extended vacation.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Some girls are easy, they talk about it, they get mad when called out about it. Don't air your dirty laundry then or keep ya legs closed.
2. If you put a tooth in a glass of Coca Cola overnight, the sugar in the drink will make the tooth completely dissolve.
3. I guess Mark Wahlberg is getting all his tattoos removed. Why thats news worthy, I don't know.
4. Joe Martell did me a solid and cleaned my furnace sensor so that the wife could be nice and warm.
5. Saturday day Bruins games are something. The beers never seem to stop flowing.
6. I am pretty exited that Jack Bauer will be back at least for a movie.
7. (Chrissy will love this) The male porcupine begins the mating process with a high-pressure stream of urine that coats the female from head to toe.
8. I was looking forward to this upcoming season of Shamless but now after last nights episode I don't think I can get into it again.
9. I don't know why the NHL doesn't do 24/7 for more than just the 2 teams in the NHL or at least make it longer than 4 weeks. Maybe from training camp until the Winter Classic.
10. Who would pay to have Mrs. Seguin on the back of a Bruins jersey?
11. Blackstones is a great place for steak tips and getting away from the hectic hussle and bustle of Fanuel hall.
12. Never count Tebow out.
13. Congrats to Chrissys sister, Rachel on her wedding. Matt has made her an honest lady.
14. Joey Martell wants to start blogging soon. He promises to use the spell check.

Thats all I got in me today. As always I am sure I forgot a whole hell lot more than I remembered.

Lets start the Year off right

2012-01-02T10:45:00.001-05:00

I hope that everyone had a nice safe New Years Eve. I am not really one to make any resolutions so I am not about to start now. Just so you know, I did not win any cash in $10 million lottery raffle.

Lets see what I learned from last week of last year to the first week of this year:
1. Apparently Margaritas does not have authentic Mexicans making authentic Mexican food.
2. Chrissy thinks Shaun Larry has the gay because he ran away from a cougar faster than you can say "Booyah".
3. Who knew the Cathay Center is where all the karaoke songs are fairly recent. Who the fuck sings Adele?
4. Home made steak and cheese is way better.
5. Pretty bummed out that fantasy football is over.
6. Seems like no matter what time I go to bed, 9:30, 10:30, or 2:00 I never feel totally rested.
7. The make chocolate animal crackers.
8. I know I have probably said this before but why does everyone continue to name their child, Aiden? I mean there are going to be classrooms full of children named Aiden.
9. Ronin is a tad bit bigger than some dogs:

10. There is not a day that goes by that I don't get asked How Smiddy is doing. If you see Williams J. Smiddy let him know people think he moved. They can't believe he severed all ties with his "friends".

11. CVG loves Dannys FB and Twitter posts.

12. Yes this is Jack Edwards dog, Stanley Pup with the Stanley Cup:

13. If you eat lots of iron in your diet it gives you healthy finger nails.

14. Wendys over took BK as the #2 fast food burger joint. How come everyone you talk to never has Mcdonalds as their #1 place? Kinda weird right?

15. I can't quite figure out why comcast allows you to change your TV through your computer. I mean that's what the remote is for.

16. I'm sick of all the yahoo articles of people raising 16 kids on 35,000 a year. Its bullshit. Straight bullshit!

I wish you all a healthy and fun 2012.

TMX week 16

2011-12-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

Week 16 is in the books and TMX is here to report about it.

Tmx is a fantasy reporting agent, no longer affiliated with folan.com, which reports up to the minute fantasy football news. Tmx is COMMITTED to 32% TRUTH in all reports. There is one week left in the ADSL fantasy league and we have nothing decided!! The race for the top is going to come down to who plays more Brady or Brees and the race for 3rd place has four teams fighting for the money. Tmfntm is holding off No Legs by 6; SflaboHfrw by 17 and Hoodsie by 45. The beer bitch race has L8nite menu leading his bitter rival Dillonz Villenz by 29!! The races may come down to the last NFL game of the year!! The 8:30 game featuring Tmfntm Holy Romo and Villenz Eli Manning could be what decides both races. Tons of questions as to who's playing who and who has players that need to win. Tmx mailbag was full of questions from Tebowmania asking when is Tmfntm gonna roll out Tim Tebow is this the week? Another popular mailbag topic was the ever popular "hammy dance".

Hammy dance originator Team Jerkshots lost his star rb Adrian Peterson and alot of Tmx watchers wanted his reaction. Tmx made several calls to Jerkshots owners including the Notorious J.E.B and Wes Cash they are continuing their boycott of Tmx and rumors are rampant that they are looking into legal action to get Tmx shutdown. Tmx response to that: Jackie Childs aint walking through that door and if he did well he's just an actor on Seinfeld so it wouldnt matter. Now onto this weeks winner coming on strong Team No Legs with 151.5. No Legs has been in the money or close to it every year so its no suprise. He like everyone else jumped up this week as Tmfntm took a huge hit with a ZERO from Holy Romo. We made numerous attempts to call No Legs but have no active phone for the owner so we sadly we were unable to get his reaction to the big victory!!
We did however talk to former owner of Team Mung who informed us he has been giving advice left and right and said "Slippery Wizards should have clinched the league by now with all the advice I've given him, told fool not to play Redskins d and go with RAIDERS, I want back in" Duly noted Team Mung Tmx is on your side.

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP!!
This weeks last place team was Dillons Villenz the totals are as follows:
Manning 13
Mathews 7.5
Mccoy 4.5
Gaffney 16
Green 5
Gresham 13.5
Janikowski 10
Giants D 19 for a decent total of 88.5. Look its the last week of fantasy and Tmx has counseled the Villenz several times its basically put up or shut up time. He's got a good group of players who have to win including his Qb and he has a wr going against the pourous Pats d. Mccoy needs to be watched and Mathews as well but Tmx cant put the players in it only tells you to monitor who's against who that being said Villenz has a shot to make his way out of the beer bitch position but it wont be easy Tmx has inside sources that L8nite menu has taken the week off and was up all night screaming at Matty Ice he is fully invested in taking down his arch rival.

Tmx made a call to Villenz team MVP Lesean Mccoy. Hey buddy its your old friends at Tmx how you feeling? "Tmx whats going down? Man I sprained my ankle I was gonna take out Wilbert Montgomery's rushing record next week now I'm not sure if I'm going to play" Wait are you giving Tmx and exclusive scoop that you are sitting? " haha Tmx you crazy. Andy Reid will decide if I take out the record or not but you know I want to, I thought Randall Cunningham had the record I dont even know this old goat is so if they let me break it I will stay tuned" Well Villenz you heard your Mvp. STAY TUNED. Biggest decision of your season to follow hope you get to the wire and grab some insurance.

Now onto the All Iggles:

QB-M.Vick 24pts (L8nitemenu)
RB- D.Williams 20pts ( Tmfntm)
RB- S.Jax(Devils) & K.Smith( Villenz) 18pts
WR- R.Wayne 25pts (No Legs)
WR- M. Floyd 18pts (Devils)
TE- J. Cook 31pts (L8nite Menu)
D- Lions 19pt (Villenz)
K- DAVID "FUCKING" AKERS- FG SEASON RECORD

The All Iggles were held to a modest 155 pts this week but L8nite Menu and Villenz put some good numbers up for Iggles. Important week for those two cant afford to have any points left for the Iggles. L8nite refused to give Cook the start despite two good weeks and now has to decide if he Witten is finally going to come through. Tmx is guess he will in the biggest game of his season. Here's hoping next week is the week we keep the Iggles under 120!! The pickup of the weeks saw Gaffney and Orton put up decent numbers but goes this week to Sflabohfrw pickup and start of J. Stewart. Gutsy call for the owner of Cam Newton to get his rb but it came through with a td and double digit fantasy points. Congrat Sflabo and Stewie gonna need some more magic this week. The Tmx player of the week was hotly contested with Brady,Welker, Julio Jones bailing out Tmfntm, the usual Beach Bum duo of Breesy( congrats on the record) and Foster, Hoodsies team Mvp Stafford and suprising pickup Spiller, also Victor Cruz but the Tmx player of the week is Jordy Nelson. The guy keeps making plays. Congrats No Legs on picking him up to replace Amendolia or whoever that guy was only thing he did all season was buy a round of shots at the draft.
Well this is the week we play for sadly the league wont be meeting up as the commish is working but we have plans to meet up during the playoffs. Best of luck to everyone in the most important week of the season also to the teams that havent won a week lets hope this is the week and to everyone who hasnt paid. PAY UP BITCHES. Tmx out.

Happy New years

2011-12-27T10:13:00.000-05:00

Man, there are only 4 days left in this year. Then we can close out the year of MJT. I hope, as always, that the next year is better than the last.

Lets see what I learned this past weekend:
1. People need to stop busting my balls if I don't post things I've learned on Monday. Sometimes there is a holiday and I am not turning my computer on.
2. Almost 50% of all the money in circulation are $1 dollar bills.
3. Andy Reid has never had a shut out in 207 games.
4. Iggles puts up Christmas lights. I thought that dude was an atheist?
5. The Skza gets a Movado watch and scratched it in 15 minutes.
6. Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860.
7. People are gearing up for the Yankee Re-gift swap on January 14th.
8. Should I be as excited as I am about buying $4.00 books for my kindle?
9. People still call other people dipshits? Rio does.
10. Why has no one bought me bacon of the month?
11. Mike is celebrating my birthday today, he likes to move it around and celebrate different days.
12. Rio is secretly in love with IKEA. Guess what budso the secret is out.
13. How come Julie Nickerson comes home from LA LA land but she doesn't call anyone to hang out or meet up for beers?
14. Just because you win the Superbowl in fantasy football doesn't mean you are getting paid until all the cash is in.
15. How can you wait 6-8 weeks for new furniture just to have the wrong color come in? Then the store act like they are doing you a favor by not charging for delivery for the correct furniture that I have to wait another 6-8 weeks for?
16. Do people still go out for New Years? I mean besides heading to Trinity of course.

Well until next year...have a nice and safe week/weekend!

Merry Christmas

2011-12-23T10:47:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone has a Very Merry Christmas.

Reckoning

2011-12-22T21:46:00.000-05:00

PS3 Games - E3 2012 - Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

Week 15

2011-12-21T11:25:00.002-05:00

Week 15 is in the books and Tmx is here to report it LIVE from a jam packed SSSC Complex.
Tmx is a fantasy reporting agency COMMITTED to 35% truth in all reports.

This week at the Complex we had owners from Team Hoodsie, mouse clicking Villenz Dillonz, former owner Team Mung and the usual crew including head security Ronan sniffing down Julien. Ro never takes a day off!! Eddie Pinnette had another Derek Hernandez day party to attend and was probably running a Stanford route. Food was great, laughs were a plenty and the Slippery Wizards spent most of the day curled up in a fetal position as his team is running out of gas and 2 time defending champs beach bum is putting up monster numbers. Beach Bums had the win this week with the highest total of the season 189. He made every right move and got big games from all his players. The lead is down to a measly 100pts as he made up 50 this week and with the Slippery Wizards matchup problems the Bums have to be the favorite. The second hottest race is for beer bitch as L8nite menu is up 24 on his hated rival Villenz. We contacted Beach Bums owners at a secluded compound where he makes all his championship moves. Hey Beach Bums this is some set up like a war room. "wait howd you get in here you have to leave this is how I dominate this league, leave NOW" Whoa whoa easy pal, just checking in, hey is that at HE HATE ME shirt your wearing from the old Xfl days?

"yeah it is my good friend Hoodsie got it for me, said the league had my team up on the computer all day and hates me I guess? I find it funny but you have to get out of here and NOW" Ok, Ok, we are leaving good luck on the rest of the year and nice war room you're really on top of this. Wow like a fantasy football batcave with monitors and projections everywhere, guess thats how you get in position for a 3 peat!!

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP. This weeks last place finisher was Jerkshots, the dismal totals are as follows:
Dalton 5pts
Helu 7.5pts
AP 6pts
B.Marshall 14.5pts
Welker 6pts
Wislow 7pts
Bailey 7pts
Bengals D 11 pts for a total of 64pts.

Team Jerkshots was a few points out of 3rd place back in week 9 and poised to make a run now the only thing they can make a run for is a weekly win and in a FIRST since Tmx has been breaking news the Jerkshots had EVERY PLAYER on his bench outscore his starters. I know its late in the season and alot of teams are thinking and overthinking who to play but sitting studs at this point is never a good move. A tweak here or there and maybe risk a play but the entire bench outscoring the starters is painful on all levels. Tmx is hoping a weekly win is in the cards but the right players have to be out there for it to happen. Tmx made a call to Darrius Heyward-Bey to see how he feels being on the bench. Hey Bey-bey-bey its Tmx whats good? "oh for reals? Tm-motherbleeping x!!! I heard bout y'all am I player of the week? If I am I'm gonna do shots out of Dmc boot, dude's still out but Bey-bey bey is balling!!" No you didnt get player of the week you were on the bench " what? fool dont wanna win? Me and Palmer are the new Montana to Rice ya heard!!Bey OUT" Well apparently DHB thinks he's got potential to win Jerkshots a week but Tmx is just hoping he makes the right plays or prays to Tebow for help. Lets go Jerkshots win a week.

Now onto this weeks All Iggles Team.

QB- Tebow 27pts ( Tmfntm)
RB- Sjax/F.Jones 18.5 ( White devils)
Rb- Lil Darren Sproles 18.5 ( Slippery Wizards)
WR- Burleson/Floyd 17.5 ( Jerkshots/ Devils)
WR Heyward-Bay 29 (Jerkshots)
TE Celek 28.5 ( Jerkshots)
D-Seahawks 32 (Tmfntm)
K- Tony Franklin

Well the All Iggles have done it again coming in at 171 but the Beach Bums even beat the all star team so thats the good news the bad news is Jerkshots gave the Iggles almost 80pts!! 80pts he could have used! I guess holding the Iggles under 100 isnt going to happen this season so this week we will shoot for 120? Lets make the right plays and ruin Iggles Christmas ( he doesnt celebrate it but you get the idea). This week we didnt have many pickups Wizards grabbed Cards D for little gain and his kicker wears Prater also for little gain and Devils made a move on Grant who didnt have a big game but L8nite Menu went for it and grabbed Kahil Bell the bears backup running back who had an awesome game out of nowhere. Congrats Mr. Bell and L8nite Menu on the Pick up of the Week; This weeks Tmx player of the week had alot of big names and big numbers, Megatron exploded with Stafford, CJ Spiller stepped it up, Mccoy saved the day for VIllenz, Jerkshots entire bench went off and Beach Bums every starter as well. The Tmx player of the week goes to Drew Brees who put up a 50 burger and is making a case for league MVP for the Beach Bums. Congrats Brees and Bums on your award. Tmx will not be live at the SSSC Complex due to the holidays, Tmx wishes each team a healthy and happy holiday and maybe Jerkshots or Hoodsie will finally get a weekly win for Christmas. Cheers. TMX out..

The Hobbit

2011-12-21T04:14:00.001-05:00

More The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Videos

Im giddy

2011-12-19T12:54:00.002-05:00

I don't know why I am so giddy. Maybe it's people praying to Tebow during SSC or the fact that its Christmas week or my 34th birthday is next Wednesday or that I am heading to the Bruins vs the Habs game tonight but damn it, as Diddy Says, Can't no Body Hold me down!

This is what I learned:
1. What happens at SSC does not stay at SSC; Jeffrey "Dime Bag" Lundrigan is on the prowl.
2. Shaun Larry turned 28 today. Buy him a Pearl Harbor next time you see him.
3. The fat content of chocolate does not raise the level of cholesterol in the human blood stream.
4. A guy wrote a book about him banging a dolphin, No it is not Chrissy. Its called Wet Goddess. Yes I just puked in my mouth a little bit.
5. Rubbing vodka on a jellyfish sting makes the pain stop! What a waste.
6. Sovereign Bank still uses envelopes for ATM deposits.
7. Rio has a 55 inch flat screen and has yet to hook it up.
8. Spring time cleaning in December is highly under rated.
9. Pornography is derived from the Greek word meaning "the writings of prostitutes".
10. Hamburger meat from a single steer will make about 720 quarter pound hamburger patties. Man that makes me hungry.
11. Jeffrey is looking for a blocker for xmas. I already finished my shopping.
12. Stephen Kings " Bag of Bones" on A & E was not all that interesting.
13. The first real cold spell at work sucks.
14. Big Bob got his ring:

Hope everyone has a nice safe drunk Christmas.

I love Star Wars Shit.

2011-12-16T15:32:00.001-05:00

TMX week 14

2011-12-13T09:29:00.000-05:00

And down the stretch they come!! Week 14 is in the books and Tmx is here to report all about it!!

Tmx is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED to 54% TRUTH in all its reports. Reporting LIVE from the SSSC complex where we learned Eddie Pinnette and Ronin security is alive and well. The Green Bay offense starts in the red zone and white shirt and pasta causes problems. There are 3 weeks left in the season and its time to go all out! Our esteemed commissioner doesnt believe in playoffs so we are playing out the season unlike most leagues. I'm sure the Slippery Wizards wished the season ended last week as his end to end first place lead is coming under fire!

Are his Patriot duo of Brady-Gronk going to choke like the undefeated team? Can he hold off the Beach Bums, Sflabo, No Legs and Tmfntm who are getting hot at the right time. Will the stars play out the last three weeks? We already saw Aaron Rodgers head to the bench for the entire fourth quarter. There were a number of injuries especially hitting L8nite Menu as his rb and wr went out this week at the worst possible time and the red hot Villenz are now just 25 points away from getting out of beer bitch!! The devils are 150 points behind to get out of the dress and have scored under 70 3 of the last four weeks so unless Big Ben and Mendy get hot they are in deep trouble. The SSSC complex crew is in agreement that reaching 100pts no longer does it in the league you got to get over the 100pt barrier to make any headway! This weeks winner for example was Sflabohfrw with 177! A dominant week where 6 player put up over 20pts!! He is peaking at the right time and has Ray Rice with the easiest rb schedule over the next 3 weeks!! Tmx called Sflabo and his only comment was " You tell Slippery Wizards its now how you come to the party, its how you leave it." Guess Sflabo thinks the Wizards maybe a little to comfy at the bar, we shall see. Tmx attempted to contact members of Sflabo's team but the GM has a team wide gag order with no one talking to Tmx?

Its hurts to hear of such a gag order but now onto what Tmx is here for- TO HELP.

This weeks last place team in need of help is L8nite menu the totals are as follows:

Vick 12

M.Bush 15.5

Murray 2.5 (one broken ankle)

Crabtree 9.5

Jennings 3 ( one torn mcl)

Witten 2.5

Gostkowski 10

Ravens D 14

for a meager total of 69 points.

Tmx has put off Christmas shopping and dedicated itself to helping teams win weeks.Tmx is disappointed that in reaching out to L8niteMenu on Thursday and asking if he was starting Brown he was met with " nah Crabtree, steelers are gonna run all over the Browns" well 28.5 points later it looks like Brown was the right play. Tmx understands the need to start your stars but with Mike Vick coming off an injury first game back and wr's hurt all over it seemed like Matty Ice was the safer play and the 41pts proved it was probably the better play. The bench for L8niteMenu scored 90pts! This time of year 90pts is way too much to leave on the bench and now after being in 3rd place in week 6 L8nite is in a dogfight to stay out of beer bitch with his bitter rival the Villenz. Tmx contacted L8nite GM and his was more quiet than usual just saying "I'm fucked but no way am I letting Villenz take over 8th place, not going to happen even if it means I start doing hammy dances in that kids grill"!

Whoa, whoa Tmx does not and has not ever approved of hammy dances Tmx understands your upset over losing 2 starters to injury but lets try and settle this with healthy players. "Tmx I respect what you do but now its go time, I'm out and I'm calling Mike Vick RIGHT EFFING NOW" Wow one fired up GM. Tmx decided to also call a L8niteMenu QB but not Mike Vick, we called Matt Ryan. Hey Matty Ice its Tmx what's up? " Hey Tmx love your work you guys never call me whats up?" Well you put up 41pts on the bench this week kinda wondering how you feel about that. "golly, I dunno I'm just out here slinging it to Julio Jones, Roddy and one of the greatest tight end in history how can I not put up numbers" Yeah guess that sums it up. Thanks for your time Matty. Well, L8nite its time to hit the wire and then make the right moves here on out because the fight is on. Now onto this weeks All

Iggles team:

QB- Matt Ryan (L8niteMenu) 41pts
RB- B. Jacobs (Hoodsie) 27pts
RB- D. Williams( Tmfntm) 14.5pts
WR-A. Brown ( L8niteMenu) 28.5pts
WR J. Jones (Tmfntm) 28.5pts
TE O. Daniels ( No Legs) 18.5pts
D Eagles D (Beach Bums) 30pts
K Mason Crosby ( Devils ) 16pts- even Tony Franklin takes a backseat to a 16pt kicker performance

The Iggles exploded this week with Mason Crosby putting them over 200 with a whopping 204. This keeps up Iggles may want back in the league! The season is winding down but the Iggles continue to get huge numbers off the benches! Its time to tighten it up as the races are as close as they have ever been. The waiver wire has some gems and this past week we saw a few teams grab defenses ( Devils you listening) that made an impact as well as Crabtree having an ok game but the pickup of the week goes to the Villenz who grabbed the Detroit D for a whopping 30pts!! Good job Villenz.

The Tmx player of the week was hotly contested affair Gronk's 36, the whole Sflabo team getting 20 plus, Romo finally stepping up, Fitzy somehow coming thru with Rex Skeleton at qb, Sjax pulling of 19.5 to keep the Devils out of last was an option but the winner with a 4 td 40 burger performance was MJD. Pocket Hercules coming through huge for Tmfntm and helping him push to the top! There are 3 weeks left and anything can happen just look at this week with Sflabo making up 50pts. The top and bottom are up for grabs so lets stay healthy and play the right plays this week!! TMX out

Tis the season

2011-12-12T11:44:00.000-05:00

I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so here goes.

1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1 cup water

1 tsp. salt

1 cup brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

Nuts

1 bottle tequila

2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 s and try not to fall over. Get up, check tequila. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.

Cherry Mristmas!

12 days

2011-12-12T10:35:00.001-05:00

There are only 12 shopping days left till Christmas. I hope that you are all on your way to getting your shopping lists wrapped up. Just a reminder I am a size 2 XL, Jeans 38 x 32 and a size 12 for some new kicks. If you really get stumped I like white t shirts.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Love is blossoming in the land of RIO, Shopping trips to NYC is the cherry on the top of the whip cream:

2. Apparently it's the thing to do; Get a T shirt that says I LOVE (Your name here) and rock it out.

3. Everyone is saying how Rhiannas new Cd is fucking great and its unlike anything she has done before. Well the 2 songs I have heard just ain't doing it for me.

4. Tons of adults have seen the Muppet's movie and love it...BORK BORK BORK!!

5. Little kids love to pull on my beard and smack me in the face.

6. Jeffrey is not a fan of people calling Julian, J. He is too cute to have just J as a nick name.

7. Rio had his first taste of French onion soup on Friday and he was instantly hooked.

8. Speaking of Friday, I was highly disappointed that there was not a lot of people shopping for the holidays. I mean no more than a regular Friday night.

9. What an early Christmas gift this is; just kicking around in your glovie:

10. Jeffrey gets in his Christmas spirits with fancy shoes, borderline feminine shirts and his chest hairs blazing. Basically he looks like a coke dealer in 1981.

11. I got a bad case of the Mondays today.

12. 2/3rd of American men prefer boxers to briefs.

13. The venom of a Black Widow spider is 15 times more potent than that of a Diamond back rattlesnake.

14. If I send out a list of available Bruins tickets for this upcoming season in September, what would ever make you think I had any still available in Decemeber? I am talking to you Mungo?

15. Crockpots will make people start fights at Yankee swaps.

16. I have always loved the Cheesecake Factory but I would like to attempt to try everything on the menu. Just start at the 1st page and then see how long to get to the 45th.

17. I can not just watch one football game. Its garbage!

18. Baby boys clothes at Baby Gap is way better than baby girls. I mean 120% better.

19. My 34th birthday is 16 days away but really who is counting?

20. They sell this bad ass at The Baby Gap for $100(you squeeze it and it makes Chewey noises):

Only 19 days left in the year. What is everyone doing for New Years Eve? Are we going to Trinity again? I am sure Paps can get us a good deal.

Week 13

2011-12-07T09:12:00.000-05:00

Week 13 is in the books and Tmx is here to report all about it!!

Tmx is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED to 60% truth in all our reports. The home stretch is here there are four weeks left in the season and the standings are tight. Villenz is making a push to bring some separation from the Devils and wearing the last place dress! He is up 85pts and may have his sights on 8th place and getting out of beer bitch too!! The road wont be easy former champs Devils arent going away lightly and have huge Thursday night action this week. The race for the cash up top is as tight as ever. Sflabohfrw fought through losing star rb Forte and rode the arm, legs and catching of Cam Newton to push toward the top, Tmfntm also jumped into the race with a nice week and begs the question is it TEBOW TIME for Tmfntm? No Legs, Beach Bums and Slippery Wizards are in a shootout with the arms of Rodgers, Brees and Brady going toe to toe. The middle of the pack is all separated by less than 100 points so the right moves are crucial at this point. This weeks winner was old friend Slippery Wizards. Tmx made a brief call to the GM. Hey its Tmx nice win this week held off a late charge by Sflabo you must be excited. " Tmx let me tell you what would be exciting if the Nfl would stop trying to screw the Slippery Wizards. You saw God Brady throw the ball to Gronk. A lateral PASS to the outside that he ran in and they say it wasnt a pass?

I'm calling the commishner" Uhhm you realize you won the week and those points didnt matter. " This interview doesnt matter, Im OUT" Well thats probably the quickest interview from the Slippery Wizards Tmx is grateful. Tmx called good friend and newly aquired Slippery Wizard Marshawn Lynch to ask about the victory. Hey Beast Mode its your pals at Tmx whats good? " Oh Tmx I'm having the time of my life. Best locker room ever. Dez showing his ass, Brady and that other big white guy bringing in supermodels, lil Darren Sproles sneaking under the supermodels dresses. Megatron running routes grabbing me skittles its awesome glad I'm here" Well its sounds it whats that screaming in the backround though? " oh that? thats our crazy owner whining and bitching again like we are in last. Something bout losing 6pts and no 400yd bonuses who knows we just ignore him. I gotta run got a big game this week. BEAST MODE out. Well there you have it. Slippery Wizards running the show.

Now back to what Tmx is really here for TO HELP. This weeks last place team was team Hoodsie, the totals are as follows:

S. Bradford 25pts

A. Bradshaw 4pts

C.J. Spiller 16.5

L. Fitzgerald 7pts

A. Johnson 11pts

V. Davis 5.5pts

Nugent 1pt

Pats D 10pts for a decent total of 80pts.

Team Hoodsie has been hanging around the top and making moves all season to stay there but a few injuries has knocked him from 4th to 6th this week. Tmx did extensive research and looked at all the data on Hoodsie and in order to get back to the top 3 he has to play his healthiest players and avoid having his players hit with the deadly hammy dance. Its clear to the entire league that the hammy dance has been aimed directly at Andre Johnson since day one. No one has ever seen a double hammy injury in the history of ADSL. Somehow, someway he has to reverse the dance and he only has 4 weeks to do it. Tmx gave Tmx regular Andre Johnson a call to see if he knew how to reverse the hammy dance. Hey Andre the Giant its Tmx remember us? " yeah dog Tmx my people whats up, man I cant stay healthy this season dont know what it is" Well have you heard of "the hammy dance" its a dance aimed a players to hurt them invented by a team in ADSL? "what? someone is doing a dance to hurt me? aint that some shit? whyyyyyyyyyyyyyywhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy me? I'm kidding that was my Nancy Kerrigan. Come on only dance I do is the Dougie oh and I do the electric slide and macerana at weddings white ladies love that but I've just run into some bad luck Tmx no way no ones cursing me. I gotta go to get some rehab to get back and help my team. HAHAHA hammy dance Tmx you kill me. Later man." Well the hammy dance willl continue to be a mystery that Tmx is bound to get to the bottom of and if the lawyers can work it out may be able to speak with an exclusive of the inventor of the dance. If anyone can do it its Tmx. Hoodsie you got your work cut out for you and if you can stay healthy and Bradford can carry you like the other big name qbs you have a shot to make it to the top 3. Good luck.

Now onto the All Iggles:

Qb- Alex Smith 23pts ( Sflabohfrw)
Rb- Shonn Greene 29.5pts ( Slippery Wizards)
Rb- R.Bush & Mcgahee 21pts ( Beach Bums)
Wr- Percy Harvin 37pts ( Beach Bums)
Wr- Pierre Garcon 36.5pts ( Hoodsie)
Te- Tony Gonzalez 18.5pts ( Sflabohfrw)
D- Steelers 21pts ( No Legs)
K- Tony Franklin

Wow and WOW the All Iggles stepped it up this week with 186.5. Beach Bums loaded up on All Iggles both his rbs made the team and his wr led the team with a whopping 37pts is he finally repaying the All Iggles back for a lopsided trade? Who knows but in the final four weeks he may want to play the bench and bench the starters!! All Iggles player of the year Tony Gonzalez is back after a brief absence, he cant be stopped, well of course unless he's started by Sflabohfrw. Not to pile it on but had Sflabo started the All Iggles player of the year he would have won the week. Somewhere former Iggles owner is smirking as we know he doesnt laugh! Four weeks left lets try once to get the Iggles under 100!! This weeks pickup of the week came from a few teams who know the value of using the wire. Tmfntm took a swing at Deangelo and he didnt produce but good try; Hoodsie grabbed Mo Morris Mo Problems for your defense and he had a decent game but Jerkshots controlled the wire with a great pickup of the Denver D and with the Pickup of the Week Roy Helu!! Helu filled in for the injured AP and put up AP numbers!! Great job Roy and Jerkshots.

This weeks Tmx player of the week had a host of the usual suspects- Rodgers, Brady, Foster, Brees, BOTH rbs on Tmfntm, old friend Welker, Manning, Marshawn and Rice all put up huge numbers but the player of the week goes to Sflabohfrw's Cam Newton. Newton threw for a td, ran for over 50yds and 3 more tds then caught a pass for 27 yds putting up the complete game for an undrafted qb. Congrats Cam and Sflabo. The end is near and Tmx has been unable to get in touch with former owner Bill Smiddy about that final week destination so ADSL may have to make new plans and hope all teams can be present as the season is going to come down to that final week!!! Quick turnaround with Thursday night action so be ready and hit the wire. As always stay away from the hammy dance and good luck this week. TMX.

19 shopping days

2011-12-05T09:58:00.000-05:00

Till Christmas! I assume most of you have already started your shopping. I'm also assuming some of you are already done with your shopping. Me on the other hand? I like to procrastinate; then I usually give cash. Because cash is king baby...CASH IS KING!

This year is a little bit different because I have a young niece and two nephews, all under the age of 1 1/2, to get gifts for. My brothers and I have always swapped pretty nice/expensive gifts, but now some are married and they all have children so do I buy gifts just for the children, for my brothers and their wives or do I try and get them all together for an adult swap with everyone buying gifts for the children? I mean what is the proper protocol?

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. The annual hockey game brings old friends back together, right PJ and Fab?
2. TK still has his legs about him and was 2nd in the MVP voting.
3. I don't know if you can beat the $6.00 shot and boob dance table side at the Banana. That should be some sort of Phantom Gourmet hidden jewel.
4. I may be boycotting Not Your Average Joes now that they have changed their meatloaf. It went from a top 10 dish that I would seek out to basically Purina dog food. Basically their meatloaf is now inedible.
5. I guess I have lots of typos in my things I learned this weekend. I will do a better job to proof read what I write.
6. Jeffrey is looking at getting a tattoo for his Christmas gift.
7. Strippers do not like to be told that you are a bachelor but your fiance is a man. They can't make money on lap dances if you tell em you like men!
8. Derek thinks its funny that people get annoyed when Derek talks in the 3rd person.
9. Today is Nora Mitchells 38th birthday.
10. Orett likes hockey more than most. Lot of first timers this year and everyone seemed to have a great day.
11. You have to be careful with this crazy weather we are having. People are getting Pneumonia like crazy.
12. Mike Tupe's new band Massachusetts Delta is pretty damn good.
13. Jingle Bells was composed by James Lord Pierpont in 1850 at Simpson Tavern in Medford. My favorite part is he composed it at the bar. Probably half in the rapper.
14. Who really gives a fuck that Madonna is doing the Superbowl Halftime show?
15. What gives with this Detroit Loins team? I mean they are a bunch of thugs.
16. It's amazing to me that as soon as the Bruins start winning everyone wants to start a conversation about them.
17. Why do people care if Robert Kraft and Steve Wynn are meeting about a potential casino in Foxboro? People are questioning Krafts moral compass.
18. You can't stop Tim Tebow you can only hope to contain him.
19. Rio is living through a renovation nightmare. Kid hasn't seen a television show in 2 weeks.
20. Jeffrey thinks all the waitresses on the North shore fall into the Revere High school stereotype.
21. The Watchdog is a strip club massage convert.
22. Stuffed pork loin is easier to make than I thought it would be.

I am already sick of everyone referring to Christmas things as Holiday things. ITS A FUCKING CHRISTMAS TREE. ITS NOT A HOLIDAY TREE!

The 4th of July is a holiday, Halloween is a holiday, Thanksgiving is also a holiday and we don't put up a fucking tree. Its Christmas time and I am putting up a Christmas tree, I am adourning it with Christmas decorations and I will put Christmas presents underneath it.

We don't call a Menora a Holiday candleabra, do we? Why are we singling out Christmas?

12 bars of Xmas

2011-11-30T11:21:00.000-05:00

I know some of you are not into playing hockey this Saturday so here is a nice healthy alternative:

The 12 Bars of Christmas by Crawl In Boston

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

A frosty beer just for me.

1:00 – The Harp – 85 Causeway Street

$3.00 Rolling Rock
Complimentary appetizer platter

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Two friends a-laughing.

1:30 – The Greatest Bar – 262 Friend Street

$3 Rolling Rock bottles, $3 Narragansett cans, $3 Coors light draft

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Three stout ales.

2:00 – West End Johnnies – 138 Portland Street

$3 Gansett and Coors Drafts

On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Four full glasses.

2:30 – THE POINT – 147 HANOVER STREET

$3 Late Night Egg Nog…light rum,vanilla shnopps, gingerale

Complimentary appetizer platter

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Fiiiiive Tasty Shots

3:00 – Paddy O’s – 33 Union Street

$3 Miller Light drafts and Dos XX bottles.

Complimentary appetizer platters.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Six bars a crawling

3:30 – Hennessy’s – 25 Union Street

$3 Bud Lite drafts and $3 Shipyard Wheat bottles

Complimentary Appetizer Platters

On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Seven drinks a-swilling.

4:00 – Red Sky – 18 North Street

$3 Rolling Rock
Complimentary Appetizer Platters

Please note: Due to private party we’ll have to leave Red Sky by 6:00

On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Eight drunks a-singing.

4:30 – The Place – 2 Broad Street

$3 Holiday Punch

Complimentary Appetizer Platters

On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Nine bowls a-scorpion.

5:00 – HONG KONG – 65 CHATHAM STREET

We know you’ll all get Scorpion Bowls but they have Coors Light ($1.75) as well

On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Ten shots a-downing.

5:30 – TRINITY – 61 CHATHAM STREET

$3 Bud and Bud Light Drafts

On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Eleven pints guzzling.

6:00 – McFadden’s – 148 State Street

$3 PBR, Keystone and High Life
Complimentary appetizer platters

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Twelve bars a crawling.

6:30 – Goodbar – 183 State Street

$2 miller high life and $3 kamikazes

TMX week 12 in review

2011-11-29T10:16:00.000-05:00

Week 12 is in the books and TMX is here to write about it!!

TMX is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED TO 60% TRUTH in all our reports. We are reporting from a "safe house" in an undisclosed location due to the AWESOME TIME we had Saturday night (Eddie Pinnette is still hung over) we shut down the SSSC complex for the week. There are 5 weeks left in the season and its as close as its been since week 6!! The Slippery Wizards look to have run out of gas and are losing their grip on first with two perennial top finishers Beach Bums and No Legs aka Skza aka Bring back Mungo aka Street Pharmacist making their move. It was a HUGE monday night with alot of points scored and you could tell it was setting up to be that way when the Saints faked a field goal on their first possession!!! Dillons Villenz pulled out of the basement and are looking to separate from the White Devils they are up 60 and 2-8 are now separated by less than 100 points its anyone's title at this point as Tmx has been saying it only takes one good week to jump back in it BUT hurry we got 5 left!!

This weeks winner is Beach Bums looking for the three peat!! They had a huge night from Drew Brees in Monday night action! Tmx contacted the Beach Bum gm, hey its Tmx big win this week and you're right back in the hunt how's it feel? " its still sore, goddamn Jerkshots and that hammy dance, but I may be able to play we will see."

Uhhm we are talking about the week 12 win in ADSL? What are you talking about? " oh I was talking the Whitley classic hockey game this Saturday. Not real concerned about winning the week, I always win and was only a matter of time before I caught the Slippery Wizards. Anyway I gotta get treatment on my hammy and then I'm going to make several waiver moves just for fun. Thanks for the call" Well winners win so cant really argue with the somewhat arrogant Beach Bums. No panic in that team thats for sure.

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP!

This weeks last place finisher was White Devils the totals are as follows:
Roethelisberger 11
Sjax 8.5
Mendenhall 7
Bowe 9.5
Wallace 2
Finley 4
Crosby 9
Vikes d 8 for a total of 59.

Well its back to back losses for the White Devils a once proud organization that now appears to be falling on hard times. Tmx warned them at the beginning of the season about putting too many players on the same team together and they went out and traded for another Steeler!!! They have a wr, rb and qb from Pittsburgh's not so explosive offense then they have a wr and rb from a chiefs offense with some guy name Plako running the show. Tmx is a big fan of being "all in" but not when the deck is stacked. The Devils also left Fitzy and his 31 points on the bench this week which didnt help. There is time and just as Dillon had a big week to get out of the basement they can do the same but they need to explore the matchups. Tmx called a good friend of ours Rashard Mendenhall. Hey Mendy its Tmx whats up? " ahhh man dont tell me I got traded again? man i've been traded twice already this year what gives?" No,no Mendy your still on the Devils we are just wondering if you can get this ship sailing again? " Oh fo' sure I'm still mad that Ive been traded twice I guarantee we get out of the basement look at who we got coming up cleveland two times and st louis so I hope them Villenz is ready for a dog fight bow wow wiggy fucking wow" UHHHmm ok Mendy sounds like you and the Devils got a plan with this "dog fight " thing. Good luck.

Now onto the All Iggles Team.

QB- R. Fitzpatrick 31pts ( White Devils)

RB- B. Wells 32pts (Tmfntm0

RB- R. Mathews 18.5pts ( Villenz)

WR- R.Wayne 25.5pts (No Legs)

WR- P.Harvin 20pt (Beach Bums)

TE- D. Keller 20pts ( Slippery Wizards)

D- Ravens 26pts ( L8nitemenu)

K- Tony Franklin

Lotta big points left out there for the Iggles this week their total was 173! OUCH!! L8nitemenu gave the Iggles a must start d and the Iggles somehow got Wells, Wayne and Keller to play their best games of the season!! That Iggles they motivate mofos I guess. Well they have all but clinched the most points in the league so all we can hope for is a humbling poor week one of these next 5. There wasnt alot of activity on the waiver wire though we thought Villenz had the pick up of the week with Kevin Smith till the hammy dance took him out so the waiver wire pick up of the week goes to No Legs who picked up Victor Cruz after L8nitemenu dropped him and has found gold. Cruz is out producing high draft pick Nicks and Manningham is hurt but it didnt matter when he was healthy as Eli is in love with Cruz and so should No Legs be!! There were alot of impressive performances Wells and Ravens D for Iggles and the players started who were considered for player of the week were old friend Welker, God Brady, Matty Ice, Benson, Marshawn and Eli among others but this weeks player of the week goes to Drew Brees his 49 points almost singlehandedly beat the Devils this week!! Congrats Drew and Beach bums. Another week of thursday night action so get you players in and some interesting players out there on the waivers to think about. The trade deadline is coming up quick so dont hesitate to pull the trigger alot of teams bailed themselves out with trades this year so that is an option. Hope everyone stays healthy and til next week Tmx is out.

This just in!! Tmx is working to hold the end of the year party at former team Smelchie's new hotel he is running! Thats right William J Smiddy is running a hotel and is possibly going to hook up the league with a huge spread. STAY TUNED...

Where is the snow?

2011-11-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

I know we should all be happy that its 60+ degrees for the last week or so but can a brother get a bit of snow?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Some people, who rock mullets, are in mullet denial. Guess what it's a curly fem-mullet, embrace it.
2. Snickers is the best selling chocolate worldwide, raking in over $2 billion annually.
3. Glidden sells 8 different paint colors specifically for doors; they are not available in all regions. You can get maybe 4.
4. Top left fatso is where you can score on Tofuri. In eye hockey of course.
5. The average person has 200 friends on Face book and 120 followers on Twitter. I am doing okay on FB but my twitter following is only 80 peeps.
6. The bark of a redwood tree is fire resistant.
7. Finding a bar that serves pizza on Thanksgiving night was a 100% bonus to the day. The Jager shots were a surprise.
8. Wendys has a new W burger, kinda like a Big Mac with special sauce.
9. People are starting to smack talk about the Hockey game thats only 6 days away.
10. When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. That shits fast.
11. I still think people are whatever about the NBA coming back.
12. For anyone who had the under on if id be divorced in under a year, thanks for the donation you lost. Now who has under 2 years?
13. The cold dry mornings always make my eyes sting.
14. They may have to do something about Black Friday, with people getting maced and shot and all.
15. Mario hates on snowglobecentral.com.
16. Chrissys 1st poker tournament of the year was a success. He raised lots of money for Christmas gifts. He hopes to make it an annual event the day after Thanksgiving.
17. Just as fast as Rio and Big Layden became friends? They broke up.
18. Smiddy is a fast riser in the hotel business. He has moved from a night watchman to a managers program. He wants to run his own hotel.
19. The Honk Kong has not changed one bit.
20. There is only so much leftover turkey one can eat.

I will see some of you at the Annual Street hockey game this Saturday. If you are interested in playing let me know.