tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123236152024-01-31T02:17:30.763-05:00employee messageboardBill Hanleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15052994530481641269noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1132626628994543642005-11-21T09:26:00.000-05:002005-11-21T21:30:29.030-05:00

To be clear, this Thanksgiving holiday is only a paid vacation day if you work a full day on Friday. If you do not show up for work on Friday, you do not get paid for the vacation day on Thursday. Half days will not be counted.Also, feel free to bring any yummy leftovers into work on Friday. An extended lunch hour will be granted to anyone that participates in the leftover pot luck.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1131674052821934022005-11-07T16:20:00.000-05:002005-11-10T20:54:34.693-05:00

It has come to my attention that employees have been walking on the grass around the perimeter of the building. While this is normally not a "big deal," due to the recent heavy rains, this is resulting in major damage to our lawns. If this behavior keeps up, we are going to have to replace major portions of the greenery come Spring.People, the walkways were built for a reason. Please use them.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1130788903958285422005-10-31T14:53:00.000-05:002005-10-31T15:01:43.983-05:00

There were four employees dressed as Darth Vader on friday. Three of you decided to go cause trouble at the strip mall. FedEx Kinkos cancelled our account and we are being assessed for damages. While we didn't have an account at Quiznos, we still have to pay for the front window that was broken when the Darth Vaders threw a printer/fax/scanner through it.The guy from Quiznos said the Vaders were

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1130729480933160712005-10-27T10:23:00.000-04:002005-10-30T22:31:20.980-05:00

This year we have decided to combine "casual Friday" with the traditional Halloween holiday. Everyone is encouraged to come into work in full costume tomorrow. There will be an informal "costume parade" around the parking lot during the lunch hour, after which prizes will be awarded for various categories. The award ceremony will be in the conference room around 3pm, punch and baked goods will be

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06246826082388838030noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1129687605045022022005-10-18T14:58:00.000-04:002005-10-18T22:06:45.060-04:00

A special thank you goes out to Daniel, DeShaun and the rest of the IT department, for eliminating SPAM from our message boards. Way to go, guys! This is what we were talking about when we said it's "time to earn our paychecks".

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1129536283860204212005-10-17T09:51:00.000-04:002005-10-17T04:05:20.896-04:00

The company is seeking information regarding who changed my outgoing voice mail message last week. It just so happened that I was called away on an emergency business trip, and my wife was not amused to hear what sounded like my voice saying I was away with my "mistress". For the record, Heather attended the Miami Beach meeting on a strictly professional basis.I have Bill's support on this, and

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128991522450395612005-10-10T20:33:00.000-04:002005-10-10T20:45:22.463-04:00

I suspect that this was some kind of organized protest because there's no way 28 people neglect to show up to work after multiple notices that Columbus Day is not a paid holiday. I stood by the door on Friday and asked each and every one of you (except for Nancy who left at 4:40) if you would be here on Monday and EVERYONE said yes and in effect LIED TO MY FACE.Tommy technically made an effort.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128920316679613752005-10-10T08:29:00.000-04:002005-10-10T00:58:36.706-04:00

Did anyone happen to tape this weekend's Saturday Night Live, particularly the triumphant return of Ashlee Simpson?My TiVo failed to record the episode (I filled up my hard drive with Yankees action) and if I don't produce, my girlfriend is really going to be steamed.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06246826082388838030noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128396816480363862005-10-04T11:28:00.000-04:002005-10-03T23:33:36.480-04:00

Reminder,Columbus Day is not a paid holiday. If anyone causes the kind of scene we had last year, Christmas won't be either.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128396137857764522005-10-03T23:10:00.000-04:002005-10-03T23:22:17.873-04:00

As we meet and entertain our clients, our social behaviors are paramount to making a good impression. Whenever you are dealing with a client in any capacity, be polite and courteous.That being said, it is not appropriate to criticize the etiquitte of other employees in front of a client unless someone is doing something extremely inappropriate (Jesse's "fat man in a hammock" trick comes to mind).

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128395395456801222005-10-03T23:04:00.000-04:002005-10-03T23:09:55.470-04:00

The Army Corp of Engineers responded to our bid to hop on as a subcontractor in the big reconstruction of the New Orleans levees.Supposedly they think our organization's qualifications are "irrelevant to the tasks at hand". On another sad note, we have to sell the printer/copier. There's only one toner cartridge left so let's not have a proverbial run on the bank.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1128069635838099112005-09-30T09:34:00.000-04:002005-09-30T04:40:35.893-04:00

Has anyone seen or heard from Gary all week? IT has no record of him ever logging onto his terminal, and when I conducted an informal investigation, everyone I asked just snickered. When I called him at home, his voicemail inbox was full.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127694238557343572005-09-25T16:07:00.000-04:002005-09-25T20:23:58.556-04:00

There will be a Monday morning brainstorming session to see how we can stem the tide of unwanted advertisement postings on our intranet.The employee with the best idea gets a free personal day!Let's meet in the conference room at 9.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127492132426433162005-09-23T12:14:00.000-04:002005-09-23T12:15:32.446-04:00

--Article i--When you see the made false declarations approximately DTNS in means, from the analysts or other competitors, you can sure use your relationship - or join with others - to point that towards the outside. Face always therefore with respect and the facts. Moreover, if speeches of a competitor, you must make sure that that what you say is effective and that does not underrate the

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127358019790166792005-09-21T17:11:00.000-04:002005-09-21T23:01:25.733-04:00

As per our agreement, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Sarah for walking in on her when she was using the restroom facilities this morning. As I have explained, this was a complete and total accident, and I did not mean to interrupt or frighten Sarah, just as I did not mean to see her exposed private areas. I can assure all of you that this was a total

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127099600207220322005-09-20T22:50:00.000-04:002005-09-19T22:57:15.830-04:00

Great work everybody. I just got finished throwing out all 12,000 of the promotional calendars we had printed. Why? I have 14 pretty solid reasons.1. Mary had the 2006 calendars printed with a 2005 template to save money ($40 on a $4,600 job).2. January's photo features Rita and Steven looking over some blueprints. In the background you can clearly see Mark pressing a bottle of soda against his

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127098183301601362005-09-19T10:44:00.000-04:002005-09-18T22:50:15.590-04:00

Whoever took the swear jar, crossed out "Swear-Jar 50¢" and wrote "P---y Pot" owes the organization $10.00. I'll pay the extra 48 for my two cents...a fucking child came around on friday selling candy and saw that goddammed jar and told their parents! Does everything have to blow up in our faces every fucking day in this office! Its like a fucking tom a jerry cartoon.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1127099899982390772005-09-18T11:13:00.000-04:002005-09-18T23:18:19.993-04:00

For everyone involved in the job search for a new Associate Technician, I don't know what interview questionaire you are reading from but DTNS NEVER NEVER NEVER asks applicants..."Do you now, or would you ever, consider accepting a white Jesus as your personal savior?"

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126951390511248822005-09-17T09:27:00.000-04:002005-09-17T06:03:10.520-04:00

Please check the company bulletin board for individual job descriptions.Also, after this afternoon's incident, we are now officially denying company employees access to the roof. The custodial staff was working until the early hours of the morning, and two of them quit.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126895633824670412005-09-16T14:31:00.000-04:002005-09-16T14:33:53.836-04:00

After watching this morning's fistfight escalate into a stabbing, Steve, Rita and myself have decided to convert the storage closet into an executive panic room.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15052994530481641269noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126825177429473222005-09-15T18:38:00.000-04:002005-09-15T18:59:37.440-04:00

Jeff wasn't a good fit for the organization. We hired him to put out some of our litigation fires. He came with an impressive resume. Nothing alerted me to expect any problems.Thanks to Jeff, 234 of the 314 people he contacted by phone have come forward to press even more charges against us. His strategy was a bit too intense. He was supposed to gently persuade people to drop out of the class

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126709381970483392005-09-14T10:41:00.000-04:002005-09-14T10:49:41.980-04:00

There's a whisper going around the office about a peculiar man sitting in the breakroom. That's Jeff Coles, our telemarketer. Well, Jeff isn't technically a telemarketer in the usual sense. Jeff's job is to call all 3,294 plantifs named in the class action lawsuit filed in Oregon against DTNS (remember our sports drink venture?), and try to get them to settle out of court or drop the

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126521473768856402005-09-12T08:28:00.000-04:002005-09-12T06:37:53.783-04:00

There will be a large cardboard box in the lobby marked "Katrina". Any DTNS employee may make an anonymous donation to the box, and we will see that everything gets to those evacuees that are so desperately in need. Please do not donate anything that is perishable, illegal, or company property.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06246826082388838030noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1126105828543327752005-09-07T11:06:00.000-04:002005-09-07T11:10:28.553-04:00

I don't know who organized the scarf thing but it just made things worse.Mike told me it was a solidarity thing, but that is the stupidest thing i've ever heard.Maria is sensitive about her adam's apple. I've asked you to stop teasing her about it and the next day everyone comes in wearing scarves!?I don't care what Mike thinks. This is nothing like people shaving their heads to support a

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15052994530481641269noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12323615.post-1125003526548136402005-09-06T16:58:00.000-04:002005-09-05T01:02:18.786-04:00

about her adam's apple.No more teasing.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15052994530481641269noreply@blogger.com0