The Dublimat

Ireland to censor the internet

2013-06-12T19:17:00.001+01:00

It didn't take that long for Ireland to take the bait of internet censorship, which is, mildly saying, dangerous for any country. I will use the word freedom at the end of this post, but before that I will give examples of why it sucks the wrong way. I will be making comparisons to Finland, which might have the strictest laws, and enforcement of piracy laws in western Europe. Finland still stays a bit behind of some countries, which are also criticized by the liberals of the western countries, for let's say China and North Korea, and the latter mentioned two countries wouldn't be doing that good of a job without the help of the biggest piracy channel in the world, namely Google. Even this platform is provided by Google, and blogger is widely used to distribute copyrighted material - to the extent that it should be blocked on the same merits as The Pirate Bay.

First wave

First, let's take a look, how Finland has managed to handle the blocking of Pirate bay. It started with legislation of the so-called Lex Karpela in 2005. It was a bundle of laws aiming to protect companies against copyright infringements. It gave law enforcement instruments to block certain pages, and it was wildly controversial on the grounds of citizens communicating freely without governmental officials stopping it beforehand (aka. censorship)

First time Finland applied censorship of Internet, was on the grounds of fighting against child pornography. The process was to create a list of web sites, which should be censored, for distributing child pornography. As the idea might have sounded great, for it is for children's sake, it went terribly wrong, at least on three levels. Firstly, the list was not public, and nobody was held responsible, if the list had wrong sites on it. Only way for a company know that their website was blocked, and this is very true for companies not based in Finland, was to try access the page from Finland. Users trying to access blocked pages saw a warning message stating that the page is blocked because of child pornography.

So, it was basically some officials, who updated the list, and were not held liable. Ironically, one of the sites that got blocked, was a Finnish web page, which only crime was being critical against the censorship (YLE: Police censor porn website)Practically, this whole black list idea, was doing, what critics were afraid of, on the most horrifying way - blocking sites critical of the government.

Matti Nikki, who administrated the critical web page, couldn't get his web site out of the black list, because no authority recognized it's duty not to interfere with a freedom of speech. I have to point out that censorship is forbidden in Finland on it's constitution, even though it might be a closer to dead letter these days, it is still written there. Meaning it is somehow still recognized.

Thirdly, the list was shown to have a pretty vague idea of what constituted child porn. List included a plumber company (must be because that many times told audiovisual story of a plumber man and a housewife),

So it went wrong at least on three levels: blacklisters didn't have accountability, it blacklisted critics, and there was no way for commercial web sites to get off the list, even if those web sites didn't broke any laws.

And the blacklist was also meant to be used against sites that were in countries, where there wasn't any means to prosecute potential Child Porn distributors. Most of the sites on the list were on servers based in the United States or Europe, where there are effective legislation already in place against child porn.

Second Wave

The second wave of Finnish censorship, was the Pirate bay. Lot of Finnish Internet providers were ruled to block The Pirate Bay, and it didn't go that well either. The blocks were diminished in value in a matter of hours on two counts. Finland is very technically savvy country, with a high educational standards and know-how of the information technologically. Secondly: the Facebook. Through facebook, even the people who had problems accessing The Pirate Bay before the blocks, and whose technological skills were limited to logging on to Facebook, were given instructions how to avoid the blocks. The most easiest one being the link to Estonian mirror site. Basically you just need to change the .org to .ee. Block cracked.

Then there are those proxies, which you might probably heard of. And you don't need a lot of technical skills to use those. Web is full of those. Those Chinese citizens who break the censorship of China, don't really need to be very technical. They basically just need to go to a website like hidemyass.com, and type the web page they want to visit.

But the easiest way of them all, is the use to world's most popular pirate indexing site, is the Google.com. Just try it. Or how about reddit.com, or delicio.us.

China has a whole national department of thousands of workers working 24/7 to censor the internet, and they are not doing a very good job at it.

Secondly, the Finnish court didn't even bother to check those sites, that were about the be blocked. So they also blocked promobay, a site for indie artists to promote their own material. So, good job Ireland, and good luck enforcing your new ruling.

So, Ireland just took a very dangerous route, which starts with blocking The Pirate Bay, and then their subsidiaries, and then pages, which might have something to do with it, and then probably the critics of the law, and then probably just obnoxious pages, and then probably this page, and soon we will notice, that we have lost our freedom.

They came first for the allofmp3,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a leech.

Then they came for the child pornography,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a pedophile.

Then they came for the pirate bay,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a pirate.

Then they came for the online poker games,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a poker player.

Then they came for the online news, chats and forums,
and I didn't speak up because I didn't care.

Then they came for me,
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Textually Healing

2013-05-19T19:37:00.000+01:00

I felt numb, I felt everything except feelings

I felt castrated, I didn't care to feel

Then I felt it

I used my senses

I felt the fabrics of my skin
I smelled the power of piss and shit in the bathroom
I saw knickers dancing downstairs
I heard the beating upstairs

and I woke up

Then there was a soul

It started with the satin of your skin
It continued with the smell of your empowering sweat
I was watching thy knees, elbows, and funny, scrumpy hair, which you are embarrassed of course anyways
I was hearing you explaining why you have to go to work, and heritage is important

I think and
I might and
maybe I am
Textually Healing

I want to propose a toast, and it died in the committee

2013-05-01T08:07:00.002+01:00

It is probably going to happen, when Keith Richards becomes the pope, when abortion is going to be legalised-legalised in Ireland. After the sad, and misfortunate death of Savita Halappanavar last year, a wide pro-abortion movement got it's momentum. What was the sad part of this act was, as the pregnant Halappanavar was dying in pain, the existence of three doctors around her bed using their fingers to explain how this 'country is catholic', and that they cannot do a life-saving surgery, because that would be an abortion. And the doctors were even sure that, there wouldn't be a baby coming out alive anyways, but just in case, that the pope would disagree, they decided to deny all their goodwill and surgical knowledge on a basis of being afraid of getting sued. That's doctor-ish approved not.

But the legislation is going forward. After the tragic death of Halappanavar, the whole country woke up, and there were promises that there will be a draft by new year's day, and the vote would take place before the May.

There was a strong, unified sense of a need for legislation change, for a while. Now, the ministers just had a 6-hour meeting, and their progress was basically, that the bill changed it's name from "The Protection of Maternal Life Bill" to "The Bill for the Protection of Life During pregnancy". When you see that kind of determination in politics, you can bet your sweet uterus against the survival of unicorns with hundred-to-one, and you will win anyways, and always.

There is also a debate of how many doctors do you need to have, to make that judgment call. They are not sure, if three doctors and two psychiatrists, or 6 doctors, is needed for unanimous vote, because last time it only took three doctors to deny the abortion.

Of course, there is also the Iona Institute, and the like, which are more than afraid, that if there will be an abortion law, it will soon become a law basically allowing service by request. Not that anyone would be interested in the self-governance of one's own body.

This to say, I'm still on the first page of The Irish Times. There might be other faults in the world, and we'll be back right after these videos. And then there's Tom with the weather.

About hate and love - My literal revenge.

2013-04-26T00:49:00.000+01:00

This blog, which meant for no-one, but only those people, who can avoid advertising. This is for you. Here is a picture of an dolly.

Here they were happy

"Here we are happy, say it Ken, or die trying"

* You are not gonna get away from this one

* My everything is cute, or die trying

* If you thinks, that's not proper English, but I will standandos by your side, cause I am a superstar

'* If we every sould brakeup, I'm gonna fuck you up mentally, environmentally, baconly, and just for the hatred itself. Hear, here, he. be-. -Oscar Milde
PARDONS:
I was Happy, with big letters, it only started, when I started to feel unhappy, when you were hateful about everything, to say the least. I can't really recall you saying anything positive about anyone (but me, but I'm a superstar))
I wanted to stay with you. I was never running away. I had doubts of being with someone. I didn't want to move on with you, cause when things go wrong, they might go wrong sideways. I was afraid.
You were cute as hell. You still are. Your skin is the oil of angels, even when you woke grumpy. I had smelly feet. I hate my smelly feet. They never compare to your natural beauty.

Your English was always great. I think I learned from you. I'm sorrry that I said sometimes wrong. It wasn't

meant to teach you, and you found out, I appreciate that you are also a journalist and a producer.

Now you hate me for being. Maybe a superstar, or maybe literate something, or maybe just a person who doesn't want you to hate. And I'll drink to that.

If you like this, share my love and hatred.

Vappuparty at Odeon

2013-04-24T22:03:00.000+01:00

Oh me gods, and shiver my viking pants, Vappu is coming. Luckily for the Irish, Finnish-Irish society throws a preview, prequel, and predestinated mayhemous party at Odeon, on the 26th of april.

Officially it should start on the last of april and continue as long as possible. Some prefer the mayhem to continue until the midsummer.

Here's a link to the facebook-event.

You commas, and you enjoissimos the arctic hysteria.

Irish know it by Beltane. The festival revivalist should come and compare notes.

After the Charlie Ross performance

2013-04-07T13:23:00.001+01:00

It started over three decades ago. It affected my religious views. It affected my way to look special effects and movies. It affected what kind of music I listen. It even affected what kind of a pen I used to do notes with. If it had a dark helmet on it, it probably worked a little bit better than other pens.

This picture is from Same Bob, different day -blog. That picture probably tells more about the strenght of the brand than about the actual story. Which is to say, it is not a very easy story to tell. Even though it includes elements of fairly recognizable fairy tale elements like knights, chivalry, princesses, and to take it a little farther, I can also find dragons in the original trilogy.

So when we went to see this One Man Star Wars trilogy to the Gaiety Theatre in Dublin center, there was actually some one along us, who hadn't seen the original at all. I don't know if it made much more sense on the stage to others, when it's told by imitating characters and special effects, but I felt confuse sometimes thinking about what scene is this.

Nevertheless, Charlie Ross delivers the package by understanding that when performing trilogy on the stage, it's more about the capsulizing and paraphrasing than being accurate. Most of the comedy comes from drawing lines in your own head. Some of the most enjoyable moments were those which at first I didn't know what they were about. Hardest scene, I think, is the trench run of the first movie. It has lots of action, some dialogue, but as a writer or director of theatre, I would think twice before taking that challenge.

Now when you think of it, it is actually a pretty stupid scene, but during that time, it had the drama of a worlds colliding kind of war.

After the show, Ross took a small moment to recapture his career. Which was a very nice monologue about how he is amazed of the lenght of the show. Of course it was also about marketing his Lord of the Rings -trilogy. Which has now an official seal on it. Ross played it for three years before asking for permission. Same thing was with the Star wars. Thing that probably has changed more in the background, is Ross doesn't pay tributes to Lucasfilm any more. Now that money goes to Mickey Mouse.

Final points for the show: Four lightsabers, one star, and one helmet using the official Star Wars rating system owned by a magical castle in California.

Star Wars is coming to town

2013-03-22T10:40:00.000Z

It is a very rare treat that a theater can use a well-known and heavily copyrighted material. For example, no group without money could do Tolkien or Matrix on stage without first consulting the copyright owners. Although, for example, George Lucas has allowed people to do fanfiction as long as they give out the proper disclaimer, and don't make money out of it. And in some rare cases, he even allows people to make living out of it.

And that's the beef of this post.

I think the first time that I found out about Charlie Ross, was by an accident. I was watching theater improves at Youtube (okay, I was watching cat and Star Wars videos when I accidentally wrote Cat Wars). At first Ross adapted the first Star Wars movie to be performed by himself, and with a good feedback, and a gracious nod from George Lucas himself, he started to tour with his show. The show naturally spread to cover the original trilogy as a whole. I believe I found Ross sometime between 2005 and 2006. And I dreamed about doing the same stuff in Finland, or even better yet, produce Charlie Ross' show.

Yesterday somebody gave me a link to his homepage stating that this might interest me. Then I reacted as I normally do when I want to be obnoxious bastard, and shouted: "Old! I saw that dude at Youtube before you learned to write theater correctly (I still use the English version 'theatre' often, but bloggers proofreader always highlights it)". But just for the nostalgia, I decided to investigate guy's homepage, and then it struck me. Ross is going to be performing here in Dublin next month for a week. Jolly jeepers, gosh, gesundheit, bless you, and Holy patrimony I said, and my friend nodded with a unspoken gesture: "I knew this might interest me".

Here's a teaser. I believe this was originally made to promote Pepsi when the new trilogy was wasting people's time. I might be working. I don't have enough journalistic integrity at the moment to check my facts. So enjoy, and make your reservations, but not too soon, I still haven't gotten my own ticket. Tickets can be reserved from the ticketmaster. Show is played at the Gaiety theatre.

Ireland is loosening the backing up of banks

2013-02-26T21:43:00.002Z

It seems that the Irish politicians are figuring out, that it's not in the best interest of the poor or the rich, to guarantee banking in this country. At least when it comes to socialising deficits and letting the bankers to go with the profits.

Michael Noonan announced that Ireland will stop giving that special care to bankers. But will this be enough for the economy to go "normal"? This is Captain Hindsight talking, but it doesn't seem fair that banks will be paid if somebody can't afford to pay their loans, but those who owe to banks still owe to the banks. I might be a bit slow, and my education is based on the Finnish educational system, and my opinions are only based on to the people I trust my money with, but it seems a bit - no exaggerations - unfair.

It would seem fairer for all the participants in the economical field to have comparable changes of opportunity to win, and in cases of losing, having same probable consequences. Now it seems that many households are still holding the dead man's hand, while the banks win championships of poker with ten-deuces off every year.

But at least this country hasn't lost it's sense of humour. Government will probably still get their vote of confidence through every voter's own argumentation. On my behalf, I should use more of my time tuning into the political field of Ireland, just in case it would help me to understand how politics is understood by the so called common man.

While waiting a bus

2013-02-13T22:15:00.003Z

You would think that it would be hard to start thinking about transportation for hobby. I mean, there are like 6 billion people here, and nobody really has a small talk subject ready for transportation the same way they do about weather. When people talk about transportation, they are not really engaged to small talk, but preferably they are trying to find a scapegoat for why their project is late, sometimes the project being the individuals themselves who are late for meetings, work, children, or something similar, which they try to avoid anyways. Luckily I had time to think about this little intro while I was waiting for a bus for 45 minutes.

Dublin bus just raised their ticket fares a few months ago. Reasoning behind it was, that people would start using more buses, which is good for environment. Hmmm. There is something I would like to point out, but it seems they are right. Education and health is only appreciated if you want to pay money for it. Look at all those pharmaceutical companies which are getting billions of euros, just for promoting health. So if they would double their fares people wouldn't be using anything that buses.

I think people use buses when they are on time and are helpful for people trying to move themselves from a location A to a location B. Those yellow things seem to achieve that goal sufficiently, and local people here know that those timetables that are shown on bus stops are really for movies. Because, wouldn't you, if you were a movie producer or a director making a movie in Dublin, want to have a bus stop for the scene involving a timetable? That's apparently the sole reason for those markers. It's also easier to find a bus stop.

Going in and out of buses is fairly an easy process. When going in you throw some money in a box and tell the driver how much there is in the box, and the driver prints you an ticket stating that amount. Someone, more intelligent and creative than I am, might find a way to abuse this. I'm just trying to have correct amount of small change readily available at all times. I'm very good at it. I never have large amounts of change.

Like a Pope

2013-02-12T22:25:00.000Z

It started as an idea: "Will 'downshifting like a pope'" become the new euphemism to mean relaxing, taking it easy, the zen of traffic, or something alike. But the whole world seemed to be open. This serious, although senile ex-nazi with an imaginery friend, is a meaningful icon for so many of us, that it was almost unavoidable that there would be some other remarks made about the resignation of the Pope.

One of my good ones was that if the Facebook, which seems to be a popebook for awhile, had a possibility of making someone a pope. "Somebody poped you. Do you want to pope him/her back?" could be the future feature of Facebook.

Although Facebook had a bad start in the stock market, when they released a lot of stocks, which lost lot of their value in a short amount of time. Luckily, Facebook is still kicking and making money, it's like a miracle. They had the quickest fall of stock price in near history, but the company didn't have to go bankrupt. Could that be like "going Pope". Like losing value, but still kicking.

When Benedict the 16th (or how the Latin-speaking world remembers him as Benedict the XVI) gave out his shock resignation, I think many thought that "one cannot just pope and stop". I even believe that if it's true that Benny's bodyguards have to give a vow promising to take the bullet for the guy; the vow probably includes that you should "never lose the Pope". This could also be a part of his personal assistant's job description. At least if you think how seniles the CEOs have been.

As living in a Catholic country, which is somehow known for a vast use of drugs (including alcohol), it would be reasonable to assume that there would be a game for children to test their ability to pronounce English words as fast as they can. "How much dope would a pope dope, if a pope would dope pope" might be very soon a part of the official curriculum for children under eight. I won't go any farther that road on my thought. It seems that lots of Pope's employees have done that journey and gotten away with a few Ave Marias.

I shouldn't pope too much, as there is probably going to be a debate of what it means if the Disco Guy of Vatican stops discoing. And by disco, it can be fair to say, that haven't seen during my whole life a guy who is so much into gaypimp-style, and still be in a closet. Seriously dudes, that hat, those shoes, and that amazing long gown. Seriously, what the pope?!?

Whites Tavern - The oldest in Belfast

2013-02-09T12:39:00.000Z

Oldest Tavern in Belfast. First legal pints served somewhere in the early 1700th century.

No More War -Tarja

2013-02-08T12:36:00.000Z

"No more War! Tarja from Finland" Previous Finnish President was Tarja Halonen. Here she is probably building her legacy.

Belfast's Graffiti wall

2013-02-07T12:33:00.000Z

Where I come from, street art is a real debate. In Belfast there's really cool wall full of graffiti, poems, greetings, and so on.

Belfast's spotting

2013-02-06T18:27:00.004Z

Pro tips for visiting Belfast from Dublin.
- Buy tickets beforehand. 31 euros with a train both ways versus 55 euros for a trip longer than a day.

- If you want to use the Hop-on hop-off bus, buy tickets beforehand from the internetz. Adult tickets cost 12.5 Pounds. Compared to 9 pounds bought in advance.

To culturalismos to being too hot to handle hikes

2013-02-02T00:44:00.001Z

If I could start a post with the word "I", I would, but something in my nature forbids me to start anything that starts with my own ambitions. But I'm going to just shed a light of some organisational business, that I got involved. I think it will be good for me, and for the rest of the Irish society. I'm already comfortable complaining about things, just like the sovereign Irish do. Like tiny little bosses. My complaining is more like a part of getting comfortable with the things that should be better.

There is a saying, if somebody can't do it, do it better yourself. So I have almost decided to become a route and timing planner for Dublin bus. At the moment there are no openings on that section at the jobs.ie. I'm also planning to be the host of a Pub Quiz, which has sure questions, and a very uptight judge who decides what is the closest answer to a question about the name of the band, which John F. Kennedy would be playing with, if he would be alive.

On that note, it must be commented that I was today at the Irish-Finnish Society's annual meeting. Quick to say, I'm now also a part of some subcommittee or likewise of the forementioned club of friendly people helping other people to be friendly, and to be aware of the awesome relationship between Irish and le fölks of Finland. People who would know my political, or comparable, background would say that, now there is going to be some serious shit down, or about to hit the fan. History will speak it's own language.

Anyways I met this guy who has some kind of cultural attendance of things that seem great, even if the audience with the big bucks ain't around. He is having a tribute to Neil Young on next week's saturday at a place close to the central, but I forgot the name of the band.

Also in the news. I'm going on my first gig here in Ireland on 18th of May. I'm giving a welcomed kick in the arse for one of the most amazing voices that the world hasn't heard of before. News coming up later on. During this abrupt moment of saying so much by saying nothing, I'm going to need some ideas for how to pursue my idea of making Lose Yourself a even better arrangement than Eminem meant.

Aphorisms for the weak

2013-01-26T23:30:00.001Z

I hate violence, so I kicked it in the face.

Remember when ancient Romans were a cliche.

There was a time when professional meant getting paid for. Now we can see professional jobseekers everywhere.

What does time have to do with it, when you are already late.

Who are we to say what we hear?

Powerful are the weak, when they think of the opposite.

If the most famous fictional Danish prince Hamlet was a real thing, he would still speak English.

If Chuck Norris laughed at himself, people would have hard time deciding, is it a matter of life and a roundhouse kick.

Chickens lay eggs, eggs are like children, does it mean if I drop them, they will crack.

When walking in straight line and nobody is monitoring, is the line really straight, or are we just too gay to notice it at all.

If you wish for rain, and it doesn't rain, is it a rainy day then?

Some say to vegetarians, that Hitler was the most well known vegetarian, and he had just one ball. People forget how a great guy Josef Stalin was.

Man walks into a pub. The pub never forgave him.

It is said that all the good things in life come in small packages. Does that mean that the big ones doesn't?

If you open your heart to the whole wide world, there is going to be a draft inside.

Teaching children to behave is like behaving amongst children.

Don't do compromises. When you start doing those, you have to do them for the rest of your life. So don't.

Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask where is it.

When doing Sudokus or crossword puzzles, always use paintball. Using a pencil is practicing. Bosses and chiefs use paintballs.

Discussing of offsides is the art of understanding.

Why would anybody want an iphone 5, when they could get a cancer and die alone?

I want to write laws, which nobody obeys, but always think that there should be something written about it.

Remote control is usually in the refrigerator, pencil behind your ear, glasses on your forehead, but there is really no place for abrupt poems.

I've had problems with my eyes, so I'm trying different glasses. This one is filled with Guinness.

The Fourth Season of Ireland

2013-01-22T21:55:00.001Z

Sometimes, when people ask, why I moved to Ireland, I say "because of the weather". It's a good icebreaker. Haven't met any Irish local yet, who isn't aware that the rest of the the world sees these closely located two island nations, England and Ireland, as the lands of constant rain. Sometimes, when folks back home ask about the weather, I explain that it's like a karaoke bar. If you don't like it, next one is up in fifteen minutes. Although I haven't been to a karaoke bar, where the shortest available song is the Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

What people don't realise is that Ireland has four seasons: spring, summer, fall and winter. Summer is usually fifteen minutes long between the short bursts of rain (or fog as it is sometimes referred as) and it lasts about the whole year. And then there's the winter.

This year, winter started yesterday, at about 9 am, with a long-waited snow pouring all-over the country.

And it lasted until 12 pm. I believe this was expected. Local media started to hyperbole the upcoming blizzard storm, that will destroy all living things, sometimes very close to november. Illustration used, was usually pictures taken from Antarctica and photoshopped with people freezing dead.

During that long winter The Guardian even got their glacier expert to explain why some of the ice is slippy and some of it is grippy.

Also in the breaking news: England and Ireland were officially closed and put in to quarantine for the whole time. Here's a short caption of the news feed: this one from BBC. Dublin Bus gave out information of those bus lines that would still be going if anything fails. Basically the buses still followed the same distinctive routine of Zen, that keeps them running regardless of the weather. They just drove around laughing at the timetables.

After three hours of unsustainable living conditions, the winter was officially over, and the head smurf Enda Kenny pronounced, that there will be ice-cream for everyone.

Now that the winter is long past, we all can start enjoying the spring. There will probably be some rains joining us tomorrow.

Project Jenny

2013-01-20T02:35:00.002Z

Long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. That's common knowledge, so common, that you don't have to explain to anyone, where it's from. Also Lord of the Rings; it also common - nobody is expected to have read to fekin trilogy to know what is a hobbit.

If somebody knows what these beforemenionted jackasses are about, they usually want to make sure that they know their stuff. By sword if necessary.

I'm different. I learned that the person I love, and probably enjoy anyways, has not seen Star Wars. I was not going the be the one who forces her the see the original trilogy, because of it. We were watching Boondocks Saints II, when I threw a joke about it: "You've have not probably seen Indiana Jones movies either", and this was because she enjoyed the Skyfall-flick, and this is the first Bond-movie I liked. Later on, I understood that there are lots of films, which I'm referring to, but she only understands the referendum-jokes, because it's so common knowledge.

What started as a Joke, is going to be a project. Because everyone knows why they like those movies, which should be a part of common knowledge.

This is Project Jenny. This a list of movies, she should have been seen, but she hasn't, but there should be a reason why she should see them. Funny part is this: She explained to me why I missed all the good parts while watching Machete.

So if people could explain why Jenny should see these (at least) movies:
- Star Wars IV-Vi (from New Hope to Jedi xxxx)
- Indiana Jones (everyone of them)
- Casablanca (where the "play it again, Sam" comes from)
- Gone with the wind (this is the one with the "dear Frank, I give a damn, no, not this one, what was the line again, oh yeah, Dear Frank my damn goes again, no that's not it, it's Dearly Frank, I write this as I am and beloved, no this is not the line neither, please forgive me, I will do it perfectly if somebody could help me to memorise the line")
- Citizen Kane (I'm actually not sure if she has seen this one)
- Godfather 1 and (third one is a comeback-movie,which explains why "I try to get out, but they always pull me back in")
- Back to the Future
- Matrix 2, and 3
- Reservoir dogs (and everyone of Tarantino's movies: "I don't like violent movies -- but you should see Macete")

And this is the the list so far, but, and there is always a but, I find myself trying to explain why these movies should have been seen already. But my reasonings are even more than just faulty. I would like people to give me reasoins why Jenny should see these movies. This list is probably going to be alive, because she she says to lots of movie, which I like, but she doesn't see the reason to watch those.She has seen Ghostbusters of course, but she doesn't see any reason to watch mentioned movies.

What I ask: Contribute to project Jenny
Project Jenny: Tell why certain movies should be seen (list might change) - name the movie and the reasons!

The Hobbit: an unexpected review by me

2013-01-06T13:09:00.001Z

Yesterday I went to see the new Hobbit movie in Blanchardstown Odeon Theater. I was already exhausted with the bad reviews the movie had accumulated during it's first month. The Atlantic's Noah Berlatsky wrote of "Peter Jackson's Violent Betrayal of Tolkien", which left me expecting that this will be The Matrix two and three combined the bad way, with ninjadwarves devastating every little cute animal and troll in middle-earth.

Also, one Finnish review spoke of the new technique being too much for human eye, giving people headaches and other unwanted affects. That particular review was more of the critic's nauseous feelings than anything actually concerning the film except for those small parts where the credits we're mentioned.

We arrived ten minutes late in theater, and thought that we can skip the commercials. The movie started late because of technical problems. But the crew handled it well and made me feel at ease. If you know the nervous feeling when you are in the queue of a supermarket, and you have only one or two articles which you want to buy, and on that specific particular moment every grandmother and family, of at least seven, is in front of you, and every one of them have forgotten their wallets (or equivalent of moneyholders) underneath their huge amounts of groceries to be bought, and you are like "c'mon, move it assholes, before I get Michael Douglas-on-Falling-down on your asses. I had that similar feeling for the moment, and it was cumulative with the unpleasant feeling I got from listening a few creamass youngsters talking about how they got nothing for Christmas (except for earrings, pillows, pillowcases, etc. but not the membership card for Jimmy's, which is what she would really have wanted).

Hopefully you can grasp the moment how I felt before the movie, because after that everything went to better.

Commercials were cut off because of the delay. Opening credits, and then boom:

Bilbo Baggins is starting his memoirs in the old good Shire, dwarves are losing their mountain of home to some badass dragon, and there is something wrong with the picture. What is wrong with the picture? Everything seems so clear, and beautiful, details look like in real life (or at least as close as it has ever been), and the reason is that the action is unfolded in a 48 ffpbs format (forty-eight fuckin frames per bloody second, Peter Jackson's marvelous new format). This is probably the best thing I've ever seen this far.

And what about the action sequences. There isn't that much of it, as one would expect. My expectations were on the level of the later Matrix movies, but I was surprised. No yawning on that frontier. The level was just about right, take or leave a few clips of axesurgery. I have always thought that good books should be made into tv-series unless they are the evil darkspawn of Dan Brown (pun intended, cause I like to read his books, so I can complain about them). No living pictures can handle an average length of an american season format of 12-24 episodes of Dan Brown. Hobbit part one really digs into the Tolkien's book without missing anything critical. Even the lovely lyrics have been arranged to beautiful harmonies, which feel like as they were written by Tolkien himself. Also the naive and jolly feeling of the book's beginning is captured as emotionally as I remember it, when reading the book on my teenage years.

Now the expectations have lifted, and I am ready to crush the part two. If using the range from 9 to 10, I'll give this first one, hmmm, ten.

Howard Shore - Misty Mountains - The Hobbit: an unexpected Journey soundtrack
Misty Mountains by Howard Shore on Grooveshark

Finnish police will start distributing malware in a year

2013-01-02T16:06:00.000Z

As I wrote about this absurdity of confiscating 9-year old girl's Winnie The Pooh -laptop couple of months ago for piracy, my subtext was about that there is something seriously wrong in Finland. It seems, that even though Finland gets very good ratings for their educational system and the IT know-how is in a very good shape, the legislator seems to be unaware of the laws being written.

In 2014 new police law will be enforced in Finland. Legislator has thought it to be a good idea for police officials to start distributing malware.

When thinking of all the norty little things done in the cyberworld, it seems uncalled that officials starts to do something that, I believe without looking the statistics, most internet users think as being malicious, unthoughtful and unfair. And again, I only believe that I speak on behalf of all the people of the internets, that starting the distribution of new software that gets installed in people's computer without user's knowledge, for the sole purpose of gathering intelligence reports of how the computer is being used.

Finnish legislator has only made it legal, now it is up to officials to figure out, what to make out of this law. Officials seem to be tempted of this new tool. "When legislator gives us a tool, of course we want to use it. Although it is not simple or cheap", Chief inspector Chief Timo Piiroinen told to Helsingin Sanomat (in Finnish).

Irish abortion laws are about to be reviewed

2012-12-19T10:32:00.003Z

When it was revealed to the public that the death of Savita Halappanavar, on 28th of October, was because health officials declined to carry abortion, it gave a lot to think about for the Irish society.

Protesters outside Leinster House in Dublin

All started on the 20th of October, when Savita felt back pain so disturbing, that it was decided that she and her husband would go to hospital. At that time she was pregnant and on her 17th week. Next day they went to the hospital, but only the persistence of Halappanavars got them signed in to the hospital. First, after a series of tests, they were told that nothing was wrong, and the same thing happened when they returned just a half an hour later after being released to go home. It was when they were appointed to doctor when it was realised, after further examinations, that the cervix was dilated. Seven days later Savita Halappanavar was dead. She could have been saved if the pregnancy would have been terminated.

Some say that it is legal to have an abortion in Ireland, and this is based on The Case X. Although it is illegal to have an abortion in Ireland, there is a basis for it, if mother's life is in danger. Ireland has been in juridical vacuum since the Supreme Court ruling in 1992. In this case, 14 year old rape victim was allowed to have an abortion since there was a risk of suicide. Supreme Court's reasoning was that if the mother was suicidal, the fetus' rights are contingent of the mother's rights.

Now the Irish abortion law is probably going to be written again, but that won't be an easy task. Telegraph reported yesterday that Maria Steen of Iona Institute stated that "Irish law already allows the ending of a pregnancy when there is no other choice and there is a clear threat to the life of the mother." Clearly this was not the case in the death of Savita Halappanavar. Iona Institute is an Irish think tank of conservative nature, that is to say, it produces material, which is aimed against same-sex marriage, abortion, morning-after-pill, etc. (Pro tip: I don't recommend using their search engine, located on their website, cause it works as slowly as an christian anecdote about freedom of conscience concerning matters of choice. You'll find the information your looking a lot faster by using google and adding your keywords plus Iona Institute). Here's more of Maria Steen in Newstalk.

At the moment it seems that the new law is going to be based on the Case X. With no disrespect to anyone, it is fascinating to be following how this political struggle will end, with regards to Irish distinctive history in matters of abortion. This debate might explode to have a law that also includes abortion by demand, which in itself is abomination to orthodox Catholics. I think that if the law is going to be a compromise, that nobody wants, it's going to allow abortion on medical reasons (for conservatives it's the same thing as on demand; for liberals it's the same thing as still illegal). Even this kind of compromise would still give a lot wider framework for pro-choice people. There is always the possibility that medical reasons could be widened to include suicidal tendency qualified by the standards of the conceived. Which could in fact end that people who want an abortion by demand, just say that they are suicidal.

Draft of the law is bound to be published New Year, according to Enda Kenny, and the legislation should be ready by Easter. This could be one defining moment for Ireland. So I would recommend that people follow this case with a keen eye, cause this is history in making.

Independence day of Melancholia

2012-12-06T06:48:00.000Z

It is another sad day in human history and it is also the independence day of Finland.

So gather around, you little pear cheeks, while a very disturbed person tells you about the miseries of life, history, death and everything.

One of The Sad Stories of the north is the tale of The Winter War (Talvisota). Finland and Soviet Union had some disputes with the borders and it suddenly escalated to war. Finnish casualties were great. More than 25 000 soldiers were left dead and more than 50 000 wounded, some for life. That's almost fifth of the army's strenght of 350 000.

It was also a sad ending for many young lads of the Soviet Union too. Soviet Union lost more than 100 000 men during that cold winter, and almost 200 000 of the Mother Russia's children were somehow wounded. That's about a third of almost a million soldiers.

So that page of history probably left some bitterness on both sides. War never changes, only the people who speak about it.

Bitter bard takes a little break now. Here's a clip of Studio Julmahuvi's art movie "Roudasta Roospuuttoon" (lenght 4:16), with English subtitles for those who like to talk and otherwise socialize all the time.

Frozen bard comes inside and continues the story, now enlightening the mystery of Finnish melancholia with some world known facts.

They say the wiser you are, the more worries you have; the more you know, the more it hurts. There are two depressing sides on that rusty coin. First of all, being the Lutherian state that Finland is, every quote is full of dark submission to the soon coming death of all life. Did I mention the suicide rates? No, I'll come back to that later. Anyways, if one at least takes seriously "the wiser...more it hurts"-statement (from Ecclesiastes), one understands the suffocating pain of knowing too much, cause Finns know it very too well. That's the other depressing side: Finland's literacy per cent is 100 %. That means every dark truth, that can be read and understood, can be done so by the Finns everywhere. Just listen to this love song.

join me in death by H.I.M. on Grooveshark Him - Join me in death (best Finnish love song ever in circulation)

Maybe Finns are not the heaviest drinkers by European standards, being outshadowed by Czech and Irish. Latter being the low self esteem counterpart of Finns by it's own merits. You still have to remember that Finns drink it all at once and have a bigger suicide rating per capita than the early mentioned two beer states.

Here is Rich Lyons making few comments about it

And here's a quick version from Swedish poet (Anglo sax may refer to him as a comedian) Robert Gustafsson to those with shorter attention span (also with english subtitles).

How do Finns celebrate this day? Well, president throws a party to his closest friends, protegees, mentors and campaign benefactors using taxpayers money, and the rest of the country gathers around a television to watch that party live. It's covered by the national broadcasting company narrated with two languages (Finnish and Swedish). Before that there's a big military parade which still fails to one done in North Korea. Between those two spectacular shows, Finns watch war movies about the The Winter War.

There is some irony in that celebration; The 6th of December is also the St. Nicholas day.

Decembeaver time

2012-12-05T15:23:00.000Z

Sarah Cooper starts this month with video promoting decembeaver: cancer, beavers and hairs. This should keep you warm during the winter.

Place for a Finnish bar in Dublin?

2012-11-25T00:42:00.001Z

I was thinking about posting an entry about the Lithuanica in Blanchardstown. But there is also a another need. Lithuanica sells great rye bread of sorts, but what this country needs, at least for the Finnish involved, it's a bar where you're ordinary shot will not be Jägermeister. Don't get me wrong, I have had a few of those, and Jäger is good.

But a bar or a pub, which would sell these particular things:

1. Jallu (cut brandy)

Caramel-colored vodka with some brandy or cognac in it.

2. Lonkero (long drink)

Originally made for the foreign guests (from Finnish point of view) during the 1952 Helsinki Olympics. It's basically Gin mixed with Grapefruit soda or Bitter Lemon (latter being the one usually sold as the 'house's long drink' [talon lonkero])

3. Salmari

Vodka and Turkish Pepper mixed togerher. Vodka is supposed to be Koskenkorva, a Finnish spirit, which has no comparison anywhere around the world, ever, period. It's just that bad.

4. Fisu

Fisu is the same kind of mixture than Salmari, just change the Turkish Pepper to Fisherman's friend. Note from a bartender: if you know how to make Salmari, you should use less of Fisherman's friend.

5. Laku

Same as previous two, except this time the mixture with Vodka is Salmiakki, or as we scientific people call it, ammonium chloride made for eating. Also the Turkish Pepper has some of it inside. It's poisonous in large amounts, but hey, paraphrasing Queen: Too much ammonium chloride will kill you.

Other things are well covered here. One thing still keeps me curious. It is that we, in Finland, at least us professionals, think that Kopparberg is the most least attractive cider in the world, as it is so sweet and so full of sugar, that bars sell it here as an exotic option. More of an exotic substitute for cider. But hey, nobody is a prophet on their on land. Meaning that Bulmers is usually sold in Scandinavian countries as the prestigious Cider, that should be consumed with at least a pride of getting treated like a royal. And it usually costs about 5 euros per third of a liter in a bar. In Ireland you get the whole pint for that price, and you still get out with a little bit of change.

So get rid of that shite and bring in the good stuff. Or at least, never, ever, take Bulmers away.

Movember, day 20

2012-11-23T21:02:00.000Z

Donate money! Now! Visit my Mospace page:

http://mobro.co/JaakkoVasankari