DubyaWife

But What If You Can't

2012-01-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

In talking with an acquaintance of mine about my recent goal of 30 lbs of weight loss she asked me this:

"But what if you can't...? What if your body decides that the weight you are at is all you'll ever lose, and you can't lose anymore."

I asked her to repeat the question because she used a word that wasn't in my vocabulary...

I looked at her inquisitivly and shrugged my shoulders, sighed, and said, "I don't know, I can't answer that."

After some time to really ponder the question and think about my answer...
Here is my formal response:

Can't is not being able to breath underwater.
Can't is not being able to fly.
Can't is not being able to live forever.

In short, can't is finite. An absolute. It has a stopping point. It has an ending and once reached it can't progress any further.

I am not can't.

I am infinite, unfinished, a work in progress. Everyday I reach closer and closer with every healthy step I make. Why should I bog myself down the "possibilities of what I can't do" rather than focus on the things I can do? I'd rather err on the side of knowing my body is fully capable, then to just accept that I have to submit to defeat.

Self-acceptance is one thing.
Self-motivation is another.

Can't is a fiction. It's a word we use to give ourselves the worse case scenario. When instead we should seek the best case scenario.

So to sum up, "But what if you cant?"
"Oh, but what if I can."

The "Crash" Diet

2012-01-25T07:00:00.000-08:00

A blog post from DW

So I'm gonna be hypocritical for a bit here, but hear me out...

I've always preached healthy eating... maintaining some consistent physical activity... and avoiding "quick fix" diets/pills/etc. as solutions.

This week I started a "crash" diet.

I know, I know... "But whyyyyyyyy, DW?!?"

It may seem as though it's contrary to my belief system and what I practice here on DW.com, but I found that after the training and consistent meal plan that I had fallen into for over a year, I was plateauing.

And a year is a long time to plateau.

To help "jump start" my system, a friend through a nutritionist and personal trainer recommended this one week cleansing and high protein diet. The key is that it's only one week. This was emphasized to me over and over again. It's not meant long term, nor to be sustainable. Just something to mix up the body and then get back on track with a healthy lifestyle.

My reluctance to talk about it on here really doesn't stem from the fact that it is against my normal routine, but more because I can't spread the details of the plan. (For proprietary reason, I can't post it on here.) Perhaps that is for the better. I wouldn't want any readers, followers, and the like taking it and using it as a long-term meal plan. And so many people these days seek out quick fixes and plans that come from sources less than worthy.

I, by no means, pretend to be a guru in fitness, health, or nutrition. Nor would I recommend anyone to follow this plan (especially since I haven't yet tried it for myself.) All I can do is provide my own opinions and data from my own journey and hope that it inspires others to find what works for them.

As for this "super secret meal plan" (SSMP)... I hope to see some type of results from it, even if it helps me to be more nutrition focused for a week. Perhaps having the strict-ness reintroduced to my lifestyle is something that I need at this point.

Regardless, I plan to be smart about it. One week on it and then I'm back to regular eating. Also, at any point if I feel I'm in danger - that's no bueno - and I call the whole thing off.

I hope to see some results from it by the end of the week and perhaps even thereafter as my body goes "wtf?"

So here's to changing things up and trying something new.
Super Secret Meal Plan.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

The New Goal

2012-01-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

Oh come on, you knew it was happening...

How could I possibly go a week or more without the next "big picture" in mind?!?

After having finished the half-marathon and therefore any training, my focus has shifted. As pointed out before in my previous posts, I want to become leaner, stronger, and healthier before picking up my next running challenge.

To me, this means hitting that final goal. 30 more pounds of weight loss will equal 100 lbs gone. And a (technically) "healthy BMI.
That is my goal.

I know that my weight loss has slowed down and now I should expect 0.5lbs to 1lb of loss a week. Which means that I won't hit that 30lbs loss until next year most likely.

But it is not all about losing weight. I want to be stronger. Faster. Generally just a "more fit" person.

My game-plan thus far is to keep things flexible, but here's a rough draft:

A 1 week "crash diet" to quick start the metabolism (more to come about this later in the week)... no judging. ;-) Thereafter, a reduced calorie but nutritionally balanced day to day plan. Tracking everything to ensure I'm staying on track. (but not freaking out over little hiccups here and there).
As many group circuit-training classes as I can fit in a week. Usually the lunch time ones are my best fit (30 minutes) and they are great to break up my day. If not, the afternoon hour sessions are a good fall back.
Rejoin (or restart) my running with my Happy's Running Club on Tuesday evenings. I miss the camaraderie and it'll help me to keep up my running mileage and muscle memory.
Cross-Training: Mainly the elliptical I have at home for ease. But I'd like to give some spinning classes a try and get back into lap swimming when the weather warms up. Either way, I need to get back into 30 minutes of cardio every day. This was my routine for the first 70 lbs, time to restart.
Yoga. At least once a week. This will help prevent injury and maintain flexibility.
Weekend long mileage runs. Usually around the lakes and on those days where I feel like I need to get outside and enjoy the world. Since I still plan on running at least a 5K a month, its important I keep up my mileage.

So this may seem like a bunch, but I'm realistic. I know I won't hold to this plan every week or every day or even every moment. But I'll try. Getting the necessary sleep and having "rest days" are important. I know this. The above is a "rough draft" or "flexible plan" so that I don't set myself up for failure.

(I would love to hit this weight before Fall Fitbloggin 2012... just because then I could celebrate with my gals up there.)

In retrospect (and after rereading what I just wrote)... while 30lbs is great... it's really not necessary. That is to say, if I start losing inches and/or running sub 10 minutes miles and never lose a pound, I'll consider it a win.Reality is - while I want the numbers, I'm going to try to not lose sight of what healthy living is all about.

This is not temporary.
This is not a quick fix.
This never ends.

Health living is a choice that I make every day to better myself through physical fitness and nutritional eating.

I know this.

I will endeavor to remember how far I've come, how I love myself regardless of numbers, and how I set goals to help me continue forward (not to beat me down).

So here's to a new goal that helps to drive me forward and yet keeps me in the present ever mindful of the beauty of the journey.

Onward.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Finding Balance (A Guest post by Bambi from LessPoundsMoreLife.com)

2012-01-20T07:00:00.000-08:00

Hi I’m Bambi from over at LessPoundsMoreLife.com. I’ve been blogging there for a little over a year. I started my journey last January. I’m down about 35lbs in that year. Not only did I lose some weight in that time I learned several lessons and learned a lot about who I am.

You could say I’ve been pretty nonexistent in the blogging world since about October. It was right about that time that my life took a pretty serious and unexpected turn. I started seriously dating a man with two kids. Now that might not seem like a big thing but for me it turned my life upside down. I was walking/running 5 or 6 days a week, teaching dance class, and working out with a strength trainer twice a week. I went from that to cooking dinners and reading bedtime stories, going out for dinners, and spending time with The Don. I was lucky that I have maintained my weight with that change in the last three months, especially with the holidays.

However as 2011 is winding down and we are approaching 2012 I’ve begun to look at where I am and where I want to be this time next year. I want to be a healthier version of myself. For me and my new family. This will require something really important…finding balance.

I will need to find the time to meet with my trainer, teach my dance classes, run, and still be there for bed time stories and family dinners. I’m certain that I can make this happen. I can do this because I have a supportive boyfriend who understands my goals. I can do this because it is what I want. I can do this because I want to be healthier as I have others who are relying on me.

I’ve talked to my trainer and set up a schedule that will ensure I’m getting in two strength training sessions a week, I’ve got a new dance class scheduled with my troupe practice following it, I’ve got permission to go to the gym at my dad’s office to walk with him, and the biggest thing is that The Don has committed to walking and even some running with me.

So has my life changed a great deal in the last three months? Oh heck yes. Has it changed in a negative way? Not at all. I’m extremely happy and have gained another person in my support system. Someone who is willing to exercise and eat healthy with me. Have I achieved balance? Not yet but I am going to work hard at it.

Have you found balance between your healthy life style and your family? What are your tips for maintaining balance?

DubyaWife's take:
I met Bambi via Twitter and a mutual running group. When she started she was walk/jogging and wishing she could do more. Her joy and tenacious personality has gotten her to this point. She is self-aware enough to note when she needs to take a step back and let life happen and when she needs to step in and intervene. Sometimes in trying to control everything in our lives we lose balance. Bambi does a great job of finding it and maintaining it. I'm so proud to be able to witness her triumphs and struggles. Keep at it girl!

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

My First Half Marathon: The Louisiana Marathon

2012-01-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

The headband I bought at The Expo!

This is a story of one woman's dream of being a runner.

It began in August 2011... Running, Weight lifting, Cross-Training... each week was regimented. And as the weeks got closer and closer the anticipation built up. (See: Half-Marathon Training, The Countdown., Half-Marathon: The Final Week., Half-Marathon: This is it. )

My pasta carb meal with friends the night before.

My pasta dinner with some running friends the night before.

The day of I woke up about 5 minutes before 4am. Too early and a restless night of sleep. I only got about 4-5 hours of sleep and tossed and turned most of the time. So it wasn't quality. But none of that mattered. I had plenty more on my mind and much to do before the 7am gun, so off I went. Got on my clothes, packed my bag, and began to fix myself breakfast.

My gear

Breakfast for a champion!

Ready for battle!

I woke up too early and had some down time to sit and read some blogs. I found some great ones that were motivational and helped me to really get to where I needed to be emotionally. I felt ready. I was trying for 12:00 to 12:30 pacing. About the fastest I've paced over long runs. Thus far I'd done 10 miles in 2 hours at a 12:26 pace. So my goal was about 2:30:00 but under 3:00:00. And to FINISH!

Stretching with #RunLA crew before the race.

At the starting line!

Only minutes away from 7am gun and I was a ball of nerves! Excited and scared,but ready to get some great running time in. All smiles of course!

First 3 miles - SMILING!

My first three miles I was pacing at 10:00 miles! Knowing it was my enthusiasm and drive that was pushing me through I tried to slow down to pace myself, but I kept speeding up. Oh well.

There was such a great crowd at this event, everywhere we turned we had water stations. People with signs. ("I See Crazy People!", "You're only Half Crazy!" ) People cheering. Our names were on our bibs so I would get an occasional "Good job Christine!" which was very motivational.

At about mile 3-4 my right knee outside IT band started to hurt. It started to hurt bad. I kept pushing through hoping that it would work through and around mile 5 I broke down walking and starting crying. It was getting progressively worse. I took frequent stops to stretch out, hoping that the pain would lessen. But it only grew. I called Dubya from the course, "Bring Advil."

A tweet I sent from the course.

At this point I was upset because I knew I either had to walk the rest of it or settle for a DNF (did not finish).

Both were like death for me.

This is what I had feared.

About halfway... still smiling!

I decided to alternate. When I walked it didn't hurt as much, so I walked until it went away and then ran (more like a jog) until it started to buckle. My pace was obviously slow and as others passed me by and the crowd started to thin reality started to set in to me. .... Will I be the last one to finish?

I kept going and kept looking behind me to see if anyone was behind me.

Was I doing well?

Was I doing poorly?

Different emotions ran through my brain. I tried to keep motivated, but hadn't even finished yet and I felt like I failed.

I found a friend to pace with who talked to me for a while about her running, her other half-marathons, and it was a good distraction to stop me from feeling the pain. I even found a person on the course who recognized my DubyaWife moniker and we chatted and paced for a while.

Around mile 10 I couldn't run anymore... Dubya arrived with Advil and I downed some and they walked with me for a while. I solemnly told it all to Dubya... how much it hurt, how I wasn't doing well. I almost wanted to walk back to the car with him... just give in.

It's over, I thought. It's over.

Dubya just kept telling me to walk it. "Finish it." He said. "You can do it, Mom." DubyaKid said.

So I kept walking.

I walked miles 10 and 11, an occasional jog here and there, but mainly just trying to get close to the end.

At the final water station as I gulped down my cup a guy yells, "Come on! You haven't come this far to walk it in!" And he was right. I had a mile left. A fellow runner told me the time and I knew if I pushed I could try for a sub 3:00:00.

So I set off for a run. Just a mile run, I thought. I've done these before. As fast as I can.

I heaved.

I flew.

I just kept going.

No stopping.

And as I rounded the corner, hearing the band playing, hearing the crowds, seeing the people cheer me on.

I cried.

I cried and I cried and I cried.

I heaved in deep gulps of breath as I tried to run.

Finally, as I crossed that finish line I thought...

You did it.

You finished.

Crying at the finish line..

More crying...

I finished at 3:00:05 (13:45 per mile), 1103rd of 1203 finishers, 646th of 724 females, 11th of 23 in the ATHENA division.

Pic with an attitude...

In front of the State Capitol, sharing my smiles with the Dubyas!

Enjoying food and music after my run.

As I sat down to stretch to eat some food and to reflect on the experience. ...I was disappointed. It wasn't my best run. I was in pain most of the time and didn't enjoy the running. But everything else about it was wonderful. The way it was coordinated, the friends and family who supported me, the atmosphere. I loved every part of being there. This was a great event.

I hated how I performed.

But I checked my emotions. Checked myself from comparing to others and realized that I'm of the 1% of the population that runs marathons. I did something that few people can say they've done. I went from 255 lbs two years ago to running a half-marathon that day.

I should be proud.

I'm a super hero!

As I walked back to my car to drive home (a mile walk - how ironic that I had to walk more after doing so many miles...) I limped. I knew I was injured. That I had a long week ahead of me of healing my wound from this experience. But I smiled and I looked down at my medal proudly.

The Front

The Back

I have something not many people I have.

I am unique.

My finish time is MY finish time.

Added my new mileage to my car.

We ate cheeseburgers and milkshakes that night and I sat on the couch all night with my feet up and watched movies. As I watched the tweets and Facebook messages fly in from those congratulating me... I took it easy and allowed my feelings to settle from the day. I still wasn't really sure how I felt about all this. Should I have just quit and tried again another time when I wasn't injured? Do I want to do this again? Was it worth the pain? Was it normal to be in this much pain? Did I fail? Shouldn't I be happy right now? Do I want to run anymore?

Wore my medal all day!

So now we're here at present day... the moment has passed, the knee is healing (much better today than yesterday), and reality is sinking in.

Will I do this again?

You bet your ass, I will...

After that experience I know now that the feelings of self doubt I had were from my competitive nature. I felt like a failure because I didn't compete to the level I want to. I wanted to be fast. I wanted to glide. I wanted to feel like a million bucks afterwards. Problem is that I felt like a failure, cause I allowed those things to overshadow the accomplishment. What mattered was the experience. The journey.

Was I trained for it?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Was I ready for it?

Absolutely not.

I had no idea the mental challenge that an event like this can have on a person. This type of experience is so beyond the physical training that it can't be prepared for until you do one. Enough said.

Now I know what it takes. Now I know what needs to be done for me to feel like I'm ready. I'm mentally ready to start again in this endeavor. To make it better. To be stronger. Faster. Leaner. To feel like I'm out there to prove something to myself.

Sub 3 hour half-marathon... it's a new goal.

When?

Well... let's just hold off on dates for now... ;-)

A big thank you to everyone who supported me in this. There are so many people I can't even begin to start naming names. Because of you, I had the confidence to start this. Because of you, I felt overjoyed to finish it. Because of you, I didn't run alone.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Half Marathon: Today

2012-01-15T03:41:00.001-08:00

Today is the day.

I'm ready...

From 255 lbs....
To a first 5k...

To a half marathon...

Let's do this.

For those wanting to "keep track" of me while I run today, go to http://t.co/13r98b6L and you can see my progress! :)

Half-Marathon: This is it.

2012-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

This is it.

All the training. The weeks and weeks of regimented running, eating, and cross-training.

All the talk. All the work. All the build up.

It's here.

In a little less than 48 hours I'll be starting my first half-marathon and running 13.1 miles.

I have permanent butterflies in my stomach, especially as the pre-race festivities start to begin and makes it all that more real.

With a pre-race social tonight, an expo tomorrow, and then the night before... I'm almost short of breath in thinking about it.

I'm not usually one to get so nervous or scared like this. I tend to be a cool customer. But this has me terrified.

I'm trying to visualize myself finishing the race, crossing that line, smiling and happy that I did it. Remembering everyone's advice "just put one foot in front of the other..." "take it step by step"

I find I almost can't even put how I feel into words as I type this...

So I'll end with this...

There are very few moments in our lives where we can really look back and smile at ourselves and our accomplishments. And many of those moments we don't get to really relish in over and over again for whatever reason. I have had the wonderful ability to have many moments. And through my blog been able to share those moments in words and pictures and really remember them. So here are a few moments that I think back on that give me joy. On Sunday I get to gain another one...

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Half-Marathon: The Final Week

2012-01-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

Its a week before my half-marathon and that means...

There's a combination of anxiety, fear, and excitement that is really difficult to describe in words, but needless to say, this is all very overwhelming.

I'm glad I ran 10 miles last week because each time I think of the three point friggin one, I always end up thinking "I did 10... I can do more..." Although my 5 miler this Saturday was laboring... so of course I have a lot of self-doubt rolling around.

I had nightmares last night.
Nightmares about being late for the run.
About not being prepared.
About being injured.

I also fear looking like an idiot. After my 10 mile run with Varsity Sports and some #RunLA friends and then this past weekend's 5 miler, I realize I'm a slow runner and I feel so very new to all of this. Where my confidence of being a runner is emphasized in talking with non-runners, when I'm with "real" runners - I feel like I'm a n00b.

I'm going to be walking quite a bit, especially towards the end. And while there's part of me that wants to jog this fully, I'm certain that the walks will help me to pace myself and keep my motivation going.

I don't fear quitting. Cause I know I won't.

I fear getting injured... I had some IT band pain yesterday, that after some stretching went away and today I don't feel it at all. I fear being injured so bad that I can't push through the pain and cross that finish line.
And all that's important at this point is crossing that finish line.

Beyond that... I'm excited to be at a race again... the expo before, the pre-run fun, the festivities after. I enjoy it. I enjoy the celebration. I'll love being a part of it.

This week is, of course, slow; tapering to get ready for the onslaught. I'll be going to the expo the day before and having a wonderful carb filled Italian dinner with some running friends that night.

Early morning wake up for race day of course and a 7am start time. For anyone interested in following me as I run, go to runkeeper.com and request to be one of my Street Teammates. The day of the race, I will have my GPS live and you can watch me progress through my half-marathon. Cheer me on!

So for the next 5 days I'm just doing some light cardio, lifting weights, and a couple of short runs. All in preparation for this test of endurance.

I hope I'm ready.
---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Fact & Fiction

2012-01-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Fact - I have 11 days until my half-marathon.
Fiction - I'm not ready for my half-marathon.

Fact - I've gained some weight during training.
Fiction - I can't lose weight.

Fact - I ate very healthy and nutritious yesterday.
Fiction - I'll eat healthy everyday for the rest of my life.

Fact - I want to reach my 100 lbs loss goal this year.
Fiction - I can't lose 100lbs.

Fact - I've lost almost 70 lbs before.
Fiction - I can't lose 30 lbs more.

Fact - I've committed to my "Post-It Note Goals."
Fiction - I will meet my "Post-It Note Goals" everyday.

Fact - I've committed to doing #plankaday for 2012.
Fiction - I'll remember to do #plankaday everyday.

Fact - I love my weight training class (Art of Strength).
Fiction - Lifting weights makes girls look like body builders.

Fact - I love running and miss my running groups.
Fiction - I'm not a runner.

Fact - Exercise is important to fitness.
Fiction - Doing more cardio is the only way to lose weight.

Fact - Being flexible with my fitness and nutrition is key to my success.
Fiction - I need to be strict, stringent, and unforgiving.

Fact - I will try my best everyday.
Fiction - My best isn't good enough.

Fact - A healthy lifestyle makes me happier.
Fiction - In order to be happy, I must be perfect.

Fact - I'm not perfect.
Fiction - I'm not perfect.

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Nowadays

2011-12-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

It's a regular day at the office, I was walking around being introduced to some various clients. My co-worker introduced me by name and then proceeded to discuss what my role was in the company and a little bit about who I was, what my hobbies are..."...she's a big time athlete, always going to the gym and running marathons and such..."

Whoa.

Is he talking to me?
Did he just call me ..... an athlete?

It never occurred to me... I'm an athlete? What does it mean to be athletic?

Running.
Weight Lifting.
Races.

I do all those things... so maybe I am an athlete.

I still see the same overweight gal from 3 years ago who would justify having cheesy jalapeno poppers cause a jalapeno is a vegetable, right?
Nowadays I don't touch fast food. ever.

3 years ago if I had gotten a gift card to a running store, some yoga socks, and a running medallion for Christmas... I would have burst into tears thinking everyone was "judging" me.
Nowadays, I get excited cause it's what I want.

3 years ago, I wanted people to perceive me as an athlete, a runner, a person who takes care of herself
Nowadays, I am that person.

It's interesting to see how people perceive me and how completely contrasting it is to the way I feel about myself.

One of my favorite quotes is by Sci-Fi writer Isaac Asimov:
"And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning."

3 years ago, people thought of me as an overly sensitive, happy go lucky, overweight gal. Cause that's what I thought of myself.
Nowadays - I'm a healthy woman who is fierce. Strong. Tough. Adventurous. Happy. Active.

...And, of course, I'm so much more than that, but here's lesson, kids...

I wanted to be those things. Sure I wanted the weight loss, but what I really wanted, deep down, is to be happy with myself. Lemme repeat that:

Deep down what I really wanted was to be happy with myself.
And I found that.
I found that in healthy living.

So nowadays people see me and ask me "how's the weight loss?" or "how many miles are you running?" or any other random status question.

What you really should be asking me is... Are you happy?

And nowadays - the answer is yes.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

The Countdown

2011-12-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

It's less than 20 days until my first half-marathon...

13.1 miles.

At this point (as many runners) I'm faced with an odd conglomeration of fear, resolve, doubt, courage, and calmness that all seem to wax and wane. I feel one more than the other at any given moment.

Sometimes I doubt.

Sometimes I don't.

What feeds into my doubt is that honestly I haven't been running as much as I was in the beginning of my training. I feel like the past few weeks I haven't "stuck to" my training. Of course I've tried.

It scares me. A DNS (did not start) isn't an option for me and a DNF (did not finish) is something I won't allow. So I'm faced with the next 3 weeks to continue to train regardless of past inactivity (or lessened inactivity).

At this point, my longest run is 8 miles... This weekend is 10 miles, which will be the longest I'll go before tapering (lowering my mileage) and then the big day.

I fear injury.

I fear pain that I can't push past.

I fear failing.

And yet, there's an odd sense of accomplishment of having gotten this far. Of knowing there's no turning back. That my resolve is so strong that I won't just give up.

I'm going to do this.

Christmas is over and a new year springs forth... reminding us of our past... urging us to look towards the future. I'm going to start my new year off with an incredible physical, emotional, and mental journey. One that will test my wits, my tenacity, and my strength.

Can I do it?

Will I make it?

I don't know yet.

But the questions bring a smile to my face...

...a weird sense of satisfaction in the unknown...

...an eerie smile that seems to say...

"But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep."
(Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening - Robert Frost)

Thanks, Dubya for the reminder and motivation. I'll wear every day til race day. shmily.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

To Me; From Me

2011-12-21T07:00:00.000-08:00

Similar to my post from 2010 Christmas: To Me, From Me I'm making this is a Christmas tradition on DubyaWife.com to write a letter to myself. So here goes:

Dear DubyaWife,

Merry Christmas! I know last year I gave you this incredible gift of over 70 lbs of weight loss and it's hard to top that, perhaps I was too giving in 2010. Ha! But this year I think, I've done something even more incredible.

I've given you running.

From slow jogs at a slug's pace to, now, keeping up with running friends! It took a great deal of of sweat, some huffing and puffing, early morning wake-ups, soaking in epsom salts, icing down shins, and omg, LOTS OF SHOES! There was some pain, and even some tears, but I've finally been able to really just run.

I gave you a first 5K at Fitbloggin, multiple other 5Ks, miles upon miles of steps, and above all... I've given you a new love. A new love and hobby that combines both your need for stress relief and peace of mind, while helping you stay fit and healthy.

In 2010 you dreamed of being a runner, in 2011 - you are one.

I hope you like my gift and aren't too disappointed that it's not another 70 lbs of weight loss, but I think that this gift is an accomplishment that you can boast about for many years to come and truly appreciate. I hope you use it well in 2012 and do something really special, like maybe running a half-marathon ;-)

Hoping you have a happy & HEALTHY Christmas,

Your Body

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Renewal Run

2011-12-19T07:58:00.000-08:00

Today my hips are tight... my right knee twinges a bit... my left heel aches a bit... and I'm physically exhausted.

But I feel great.

Yesterday I ran 8 miles. 8 friggin miles...
I did it in laps. Running 2.25 for my first in 12:30 pacing. Then 3.75 for lap 2 (total of 6) and still maintaining 12:30! and lastly 2 miles for the homestretch.

I had run 6 miles before and it was tiresome. I resigned myself to the fact that I'll do as much as I can... pushing for 8.

It was the best run I've had in a long time. I felt renewed. Rejuvenated. I felt like I was just out there listening to my music and enjoying being outdoors.

It didn't even feel like running.

I loved every minute of that run, especially after having not run for over a week.

...unfortunately I woke up this morning with a brutal reminder. Running hurts. It's hard on the body and as much as I love it, I need to be smart about it.

I could have stretched more. I could have done more cross-training. I could have rested more.

I'll remember yesterday, the way it made me feel, the way I just kept going cause I wanted to. The way I ran.

It renewed my love of running.
It renewed me.

---
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

What's Up, DubyaWife?

2011-12-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

You may be asking yourself.... "What's up, DubyaWife?"

You aren't posting on your blog that much...

You aren't tweeting anymore...

You aren't logging mileage or calories....

What's up?

I'll break it down into a couple of parts.

Christmas

I love this season, I really do. But I bit off more than I could chew by deciding to hand-make presents for everyone this year. And if you know anything about me from my blog, of course when I set my mind to do something I'm head strong and work myself to death to get it done. I always go over the top. So needless to say my free time has been making gifts for my loved ones.

Work

While my employer doesn't ask me to work extra hours or to skip lunches, I've found myself doing this a lot recently. When someone asks me to "get something done" I feel the necessity to complete it or devote time to it over my needs. So on multiple occasions I've missed my lunch time class or stayed late to work on something. Not to mention, Christmas parties!

Sleep

The above mentioned projects have been keeping me up until about midnight every night for the past few weeks. Which means waking up at 5am to go for a run has been pretty much an impossibility. I'm just too tired.

Running

I haven't been. I haven't run any mileage at all in over a week. It's a combo of things. Sub 40s weather, night time coming around 5pm, lack of sleep (see above), DubyaKid pick up and drop off, and lack of time (see work and Christmas). I do miss it. I wish I would go to sleep earlier to wake up. I wish I would run in the colder temps. I wish I had more time to do it.

Food

This comes down to preparation and stress level. When I don't prepare ahead of time and my stress level is high, I tend to give in to easy meals - like pizza. Also, the evening's are tough for me at the house. I tend to get snacky and search the house for some sort of snack food to munch on while watching a tv show. Luckily my projects have been keeping me busy that I haven't been snacky at night too much recently. I haven't been consistent with my calorie counting, but in my defense I've been eating reasonably well for just kind of "winging it."

Friends/Family

From my DubyaBFF having a brand new baby, to DubyaKid band concerts, to random "get the car fixed" and so on. Things and people who need attention have been and are priority over my me-time. There's a dichotomy about this, part of me feels guilty for wanting my selfish time and another part of me doesn't feel guilty at all and realizes that it's temporary.

So those are about the jist of things, those are the excuses and each one of them on it's own are small and fixable. Combined they really have become somewhat of a road block...

My biggest worries right now are:

1. My half-marathon is in 4 weeks

2. I've gained 7 lbs in 3 months (however still fitting in my clothes).

*Note: I have been going to my circuit training on average of two times a week at least.

I wish I could have a great solution or answer to solve everything... I even wish I could have some goals for the next few weeks to say "here's how I'm going to solve things..." But with the upcoming holidays and weird schedules I can't guarantee that, and by trying to set those goals I'll end up making myself feel guilty for having not done them. I think over the spring and summer I started ramping things up and really training hard... and since now things are more laid back, I'm feeling like I'm dropping the ball.

I'll try. I'll try every day.

I'll try to eat the best I can.

I'll try to exercise when I can.

I'll try to make these things priority.

And right now, with the stress of the holidays, with the guilt of weight gain, that is all I can do.

I won't give in to depression, sadness, or guilt, cause those only result in over-training, anger, and ultimately apathy. Instead, I'll love myself for maintaining a cool attitude through this time. For trying my best when and where I can, for making the effort.

I must remember that I am not a failure for missing a workout.

I must remember that I am not a failure for going over calories.

I must remember that I am not a failure.

So... What's up, DubyaWife?

Not much. What's up with you? ;-)

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

#MeFirst: If it’s not fun, it’s a chore.

2011-12-13T08:42:00.000-08:00

Another awesome post by yours truly on #MeFirst blog.

If it’s not fun, it’s a chore.

Click! read! Enjoy!

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Movement Is NOT Exercise!

2011-12-12T07:32:00.001-08:00

New post on #MeFirst Project from this weekend in case you missed it!

Movement is NOT exercise!

Click! Read! Enjoy!

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

#MeFirst: My Calorie Counting Addiction

2011-12-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

Another awesome post by moi on #mefirst.

My Calorie Counting Addiction

Go read now! What are you waiting for! Click and READ!

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Merry Stressmas!

2011-11-29T07:00:00.000-08:00

It's about that time of year again and invariably I start to make lists of "things to do", "stuff to get done", and it piles on more and more... as I stare at the list I get more and more stressed and agitated. This leads to a feeling of hopelessness. Which leads to a feeling of not being "good enough." Which then leads to poor eating (for comfort) as well as sacrificing my fitness time to fit everything else in. Which leads to feeling even worse.

Merry Stressmas!

Bah, humbug!

Bah humbug, to being stressed out, to thinking I need to do everything, to letting guilt and stress control my health. My health (mental, physical, & emotional) is something I hold very dear. I will not allow Stressmas to affect mindfulness. I will not allow Stressmas to overshadow my fitness goals (half-marathon training). and I will not allow Stressmas to be a season of worry.

Rather...

1.) I plan to enjoy my time spent trying to fit everything in. Cause it makes me enjoy the slow times of life. Christmas is that joyful season of busyness. I'll remember that it's worth the hustle and bustle.

2.) It's tough to fit in time for fitness, but I need to be more flexible yet dedicated to training goals. The weather's cold, the day's shorter, and stress level high. But my running shoes miss me... and I them.

3.) Mindful eating will help me to make sure I'm keeping my nutrition in check. While I want to enjoy delicious holiday foods that come once a year, I don't want to overindulge or jump into "comfort eating."

4.) I'll remember to be giving. It's hard this time of year to remember the true meaning of Christmas is giving. I'm so focused on being "giving" to others. I need to remember to give myself the most important gift I can - love.

I'm sure you feel the same way as I do, I hope you'll join me this holiday season in

JUST SAYING NO TO STRESSMAS!

What are your stress triggers? How do you deal with them? Please comment below.

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

#MeFirst: Identifying and Managing the “Time Stealers”

2011-11-22T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'll be posting on the #mefirst site for the next couple of weeks and posting the links here.

Here's my newest and first one!

Identifying and Managing the “Time Stealers”

Enjoy!

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

DubyaWife Storytelling: Punch Buggy Red

2011-11-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

We turn the corner on a Fall windy day, I'm singing some late 90s alternative rock song and thinking this is the best music ever made, my 11 year old daughter is rolling her eyes. The car is almost on autopilot cause I've turned this corner so many times. It's a typical day, a typical moment, coming home from work and school. We've discussed homework, we've discussed what's for dinner, we've discussed "the plan" for tonight, we're just weary travelers ready to make it home at the end of the day....

BAM!

"PUNCH BUGGY, RED!"

DubyaKid smiles and giggles from punching me on my upper right arm... and just as I react with an "ow" and grab my arm...

BAM!

"PUNCH BUGGY, RED!"

She punches me again, She laughs! She's so proud of herself for having not only gotten me once, but twice.

The stories always the same each day. We come home, we turn that corner, and DubyaKid is ready. And I mean ready! We have not one, but two red Volkswagen Bugs on our street and my daughter is relentless.

I have the bruises to prove it.

Occasionally I'll get in a punch or two here or there, depending on if she's in mid-sentence, or if I have her distracted. But in reality, I'm the punching bag here. Plus, she gets so disappointed with herself when I get the punch in first, she laments when she fails to be diligent to her evil punching plan. I don't have the heart to punch my own kid, even for a game. So I continue to remain thwarted each day.

The other day while I was running, my mind wandered (one of my favorite things about running) and I started to think about those punch buggies...

She's so diligent...

She's so tenacious...

She's so consistent...

And not only is she very consistent, but she's enthusiastic about it! Every time.

This mirrors the way I want my motivation. This is how I wish I viewed my nutrition, fitness... or just life in general.

Diligent. Tenacious. Consistent. Enthusiastic.

Every time.

This morning I passed those punch buggies again and I smiled. They are a reminder. A reminder that my daughter gives me every once and a while. Through a little bit of pain comes a smile and a giggle, and even a little sense of satisfaction. Those punch buggies aren't something to ignore, and neither is our health, or for that matter, our lives. We have to attack it. We have to attack it with force, in bursts of energy. Just like those punches.

When she hits me...

BAM!

"PUNCH BUGGY, RED!"

What she's really saying is...

"Wake up, Mom! Live enthusiastically! Live tenaciously!"

Thanks, DubyaKid, for the reminders. I will.

Results: Back to Basics

2011-11-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

So it's has been a rough week, a bunch of "wrenches" thrown into my plans, but regardless I'm pretty happy with my results. Let's take a look:

Weight on Monday, Nov 7th, 2011 - 183.6 lbs

X - Monday morning run
X (scheduling issue) - Attend Tuesdays running group
√ (attended 2) - 2 to 3 strength classes
X (2 run sessions for total of 7 miles this week) - Run my mileage and/or run at least once each day.
√ (actually did two!) - 1 elliptical session
X - 1 swim/lap session
X - Logging calories all week (trying to stay under calorie range & within nutrition percentages)
√ - 64 oz of water each day
√ - Vitamins every morning

Weight Monday Nov 14th, 2011 - 184.8 (sadtrombone.com)

Obviously I was hoping for a loss but Sunday night's dinner was pizza so I'm not surprised to see a higher number.

So there's some good and some bad here. Overall, I had a crazy week with scheduling and am pretty proud of the amount of activity I was able to fit in. My biggest issue is not being able to wake up in the morning to go for my morning runs.

It's become very apparent to me that I'm having difficulty with self-discipline when it comes to food. I'm craving sugars and starches, and sometimes find myself snacking even when I'm not hungry. I need to be more aware of this.

So I'm moving on to Week 2 of this endeavor. Same checklist as above except I'm adding two items.

- 8 Hours of Sleep each night
- 1 yoga session

Here's to another week, I'm already well underway having done my Monday morning run! Onward!

--
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Back to Basics: Day 4 (Week 1)

2011-11-10T19:57:00.000-08:00

So I'm writing this the night of Day 4.... and you all know how the story goes. You start off the week with a fire in your heart...

I'm going to work out X number of times this week!
I'm going to be strict!
I'm not going to have any candy!

And as the week goes on....

you make one mistake...

then another...

then another...

and you end up ending the week and finding that you're over your calories, you weren't as strict as you'd hoped, and you haven't done enough...

Or have you?

This week I pledged to recommit myself and thus far, here's what I've done:
- two strength training classes
- a 4 mile elliptical workout
- a 30 minute speed-work run

My nutrition, in my opinion, leaves something to be desired:
- I am 918 calories over my weekly budget
- My Nutrients
Fat 206.2g 31.5%
Carbohydrates 637.2g 43.2%
Protein 372.7g 25.3%

Why is it that I feel like I'm not pushing hard enough? Why do I feel like I've failed already and the week isn't even over? Why should I continue when it is impossible for me to "make it up" or call myself a success this week...?

I know these feelings... I've been here before and I refuse to allow that type of thinking to bring me down... I will not allow guilt and self-doubt to control my future decisions on fitness and nutrition.

Regardless of the past four days, the mistakes I've made... tomorrow is an opportunity for me to be healthier. Tomorrow is a day for me to feel better about myself. Tomorrow is a new day.

I haven't failed. I have learned. I will try again tomorrow.

--
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

The #MeFirst Project

2011-11-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

"You have been selected as a #MeFirst Project Finalist!"

Hooray for me! I've been selected as a #MeFirst Project Finalist!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with #MeFirst, it is a health movement created by a group of dieticians, nutritionists, moms, etc. (mainly by Rebecca Scritchfield, RD, ACSM Health Fitness Specialist) that focuses on taking time out of your day to make sure you're taking care of you.

Why is this important to me?

Because I suffer from the "mommy/wife/career" guilt as I'm sure many women do. We feel like we have to do it all! That we have to be super women! And what ends up happening is we go full-force, 100mph, worrying so much about everyone else that we forget to take care of our own basic needs. Especially as it concerns health and fitness.

The conundrum in this is that if we take the time to do the wellness portion of our lives (working out for half an hour, eating nutritious foods) we find we feel better about ourselves, have more energy, and ultimately are more productive (and happier!).

It's mainly about self-love and I'm honored I have been chosen to be a part of that.

So you will see me blogging on The #MeFirst Project as well as tweeting in regards to this project (starting next week through mid-December). In doing this I hope to bring you my wonderful experiences and learn more about creating balance in my life. "Super woman" has to first save herself before she can save everyone else.

I hope for your support in this, I know it will be a great life lesson, and look forward to filling you in on more details.

--
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Back to Basics: Day 1 (Week 1)

2011-11-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

(link to original post)
Here's a summary of my day:

Monday Morning Run: X (overslept)

Mileage: 4 (elliptical) miles √

Strength class: √ (went at lunch)

Vitamins: √

64 oz of water: √

Calorie Range: 1828KC (but exercised 639KC) √

Nutrition %: 49% Carbs / 29% Fat / 22% Protein √

So Monday Morning run did not happen (I blame late night watching The Walking Dead and Dubya), however I did go to my weight class at lunch time. It was so refreshing and invigorating to be lifting again.

I had hoped to go for a run before sunset, but with it getting dark sooner I couldn't so I went ahead and did my same mileage on the elliptical. I figure I need to give myself no excuses for the mileage and just do them anyway I can.

My calorie range was at the "high" level of what I normally like to stay at. (1250 to 1800) I blame Jason's Deli and their GingerBread Muffins, I had no idea there were that many calories stuffed into 3 little mini-muffins. Lesson learned. My nutrition was a little high in fat, mainly from some boiled eggs for breakfast and the aforementioned Jason's Deli. I tried to do well at the office today with only having a Protein Shake for lunch, some red peppers and hummus for a snack and some beets. Regardless I'm pretty proud of my willpower. There was leftover Halloween candy at the office and for dinner I could have resulted to the yummy tasty (and easy!) pizza delivery. But I made the effort.

I won't lie. Today was tough. Normally I don't have to force myself to exercise, I usually want to. After being "lazier than normal" recently if took some effort. Also, I went away from "snacking" and for the past couple of weeks eating larger meals more spread apart. This poses a problem as I was getting into the starve and gorge symptoms, which also results in being hungrier in between snacks. Regardless, I ate reasonably well and avoided temptation and all was tracked. So Day 1 of #7DayChip is down.

Water feels so good! I had forgotten what it's like to be hydrated.

So Day 1 of Back to Basics is under the belt and tomorrow begins Day 2. I know I joke about "blaming" others and please take it as a joke. I recognize that the key to my success lies in my own hands. There's some fear and comfort in that. The key lesson I've learned from today is that I used to plan my days way more than I do now. I've allowed myself and my schedule to become so "flexible" that I've completely lost structure. It's time to gain back some of the planning and stick-to-it-tiveness that I once had.

I'm off to get my running clothes ready for the morning, pack my gym bag for tomorrow, prepare my lunch, and then some healthy, rehabilitating sleep.

Edit: Was super hungry after my elliptical, so I grabbed a handful of mixed nuts (no giggling).

Calorie Range: 1998KC (but exercised 639KC) X too high (over by about 100)

Nutrition %: 45% Carbs / 34% Fat / 21% Protein X too high fat

---

Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!

Back to Basic

2011-11-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

It's been a rough road this past couple of weeks, and things seemed crazy. When life gets stressful the best thing to do is go back to what works, so here's my plan for this week:

Monday morning run - For some reason this sets the tone of the rest of the week. It gives me a boost start and really helps me to get in a "fitness frame of mind." That means Getting some sleep the night before and getting prepared.
Tuesday running group - I miss my friends and I miss running with a group. Enough said.
Strength Classes - I need to attend everyday. For a couple of reasons 1) I LOVE these classes, they make me feel strong and fit. 2) I pay for them... 3) Strength is an integral part of half-marathon training.
Run, run and more running. While I'm on a half-marathon training plan and that requires certain mileage, even if I can't get my full mileage in for the day, I need to run. If I don't have an hour set aside for running, I need to just do what I can. I'm limiting myself and really it's very simple: I need to run more.
Elliptical cycle: Hello my old friend! When I don't feel like running, when it's cold, or rainy, or even I just feel like something different. My trusty elliptical is there. (Plus, bonus is that I get to watch TV while working out, so no excuses.)
Swimming. This requires some planning or possibly some "late night" laps. BUt I love swimming and its a physical challenge. Pledging at least 1 swim this week.
Time to work on a #7daychip which means logging in LoseIt! (calorie counting) and focusing on healthy eating. One week of healthy eating and focus won't kill me. ;-)
Water, Water, Water! I've really been slacking here. I need to carry around my water bottle with me wherever I go, and to really focus on drinking as much as I possibly can.
Vitamins. I used to be a daily taker, every morning like clock work and I've drifted away. Time to set a smartphone alarm and get myself back on schedule.

I hope to begin this plan first thing tomorrow morning, and I'll update on Wednesday as to how I'm doing, then Friday as to how the week went. Finally next week to see if it helped me to "get back on track." I'll weigh myself Monday morning and then again next Monday.

So let's summarize:
- Monday morning run
- Attend Tuesdays running group
- 2 to 3 strength classes
- Run my mileage and/or run at least once each day.
- 1 elliptical session
- 1 swim/lap session
- Logging calories all week (trying to stay under calorie range & within nutrition percentages)
- 64 oz of water each day
- Vitamins every morning

Let's see if this can be a "TurnAround Week." Time to get back to basic.

--
Get Mean. Make a Decision. Choose Health!