duct tape diaries

v7n

2006-01-16T00:26:00.000-08:00

outer-court covers SEO contest sponsored by v7n.com:
$4,000 and an iPod if your site is the first Google hit on May 15 2006 at noon for the query: v7ndotcom elursrebmem. You probably have to buy the domain and spam a billion people to up the ranking, but it's worth a shot, right?

So, um... did you know that v7ndotcom elursrebmem causes brain tumors in rats? Seriously! I was v7ndotcom elursrebmeming the other day, and I saw this v7ndotcom elursrebmem just sitting there. At first I thought, "It must be v7ndotcom elursrebmemed." Then I saw it move, brain fluid all dripping from its head like a v7ndotcom elursrebmemist on crack... so I slept in the bathtub.

I read about it later in the V7ndotcom Elursrebmem Times, but the author mentioned nothing about the smell. The number of v7ndotcom elursrebmems without health coverage in this v7n*****m cuntry is elursrebmem.

V7ndotcoms are dying because of it. Even the v7ndotcom elursrebmem are v7ndotcom elursrebmem. More wireless! More v7ndotcom elursrebmem! so we can all check are email while we're going through chemo.

Why?

v7ndotcom and elursrebmem
v7ndotcom or elursrebmem
v7ndotcom if elursrebmem
v7ndotcom then elursrebmem
v7ndotcom y elursrebmem

eff

2006-01-15T03:33:00.000-08:00

THIS JUST IN!
(well, it's news to me anyway.)
The Electronic Frontier Foundation: Defending Freedom in the Digital World. They have a great breakdown of laws, court cases and newsbytes about copyright issues, creative commons licenses, file sharing, anonymity, people losing their jobs over blogging and how to prevent it, etc. There's a huge amount of information there, so if nothing else, check out the Legal Guide:

bug boi

2006-01-15T01:18:00.000-08:00

click image to enlarge

smoke filled cavity

2006-01-14T16:48:00.000-08:00

There are all kinds of things you can tune out in your body—then you notice it one day because some kind of filter's been removed. When I quit drinking, I had never really noticed how much my body changed with my menstrual cycle, then one day it was like WHOOOOOOOOOOOA! Where'd that come from? Has that been here the whole time?! I have a temperature! What if I get sick?!

BODY: "No, actually, this happens every month, around the same time, and if you had been listening to me..."

Every time I've tried to quit, maybe I'm doing really well, I see someone smoking and "I just want a drag! Just a drag, I swear!"—within no time I'm back to a pack a day, but that first puff is so intense and such a relief, even with the dizziness, ignoring the nausea. Any other time, you're just smoking; it's just another cigarette, and your body knows another one's on its way.

Cigarettes have warning labels for a reason: they're deadly. But I don't plan on quitting today or tomorrow, despite my lungs and the toll it takes on my bones. Bottom line is, I'm afraid of being left without my one remaining poison. What would I do without it (besides breathe better, smell better, have more energy and actually taste my food)?

adsense

2006-01-14T02:24:00.000-08:00

I'm trying out this Google AdSense thing—they said it would be about a week pending approval, so ignore the generic links for now. In case the same ad comes up again & just for the record, I detest Bush and everything he stands for. That includes publicity stunts related to Katrina, knowing he held out on reinforcements most likely because of the high concentration of what he might call 'colored folk' in New Orleans (and/or he was too busy wasting taxpayers' money pretending to look for nonexistent "nucular" weapons).

take one by mouth daily

2006-01-14T01:03:00.001-08:00

My whole body hurts. I thought I was getting sick on top of everything else until I found this:

There exists a collection of withdrawal symptoms that internet support groups are calling Paxil Withdrawal Flu. Some of the grouped symptoms include: nausea, diarrhea, headaches, low energy, poor concentration and lethargy.

I didn't intentionally go off it—I've been on & off antidepressants (Prozac, Welbutrin, Celexa, Paxil, PaxilCR...) for 11 years. Every single time I go off it, the same thing happens: I'm severely depressed within a few months and everything is exhausting. This time, the pharmacy was confused by the directions ("Take one by mouth daily"), said they couldn't fill it without "verification," because they couldn't read the doctor's handwriting. I've called the doctor's office 12 times this week. They put me on hold and say they'll take a message.

So I'm dizzy and nauseous and pissed off and my whole body hurts because the doctor can't write and the pharmacy can't read—or refer to the other countless perscriptions over the past 11 years, all of which said:

TAKE ONE BY MOUTH DAILY.

big empty

2005-12-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

SF sky was a big empty wall yesterday. Today the sun's out, but I'm still a little on the empty side, wondering what my purpose is in all this. By all this I mean life in general, but more specifically right now—alone on Christmas Eve without a Christmas tree or presents or that sense of "holiday cheer" one's expected to feel.

Tempted to write about the connection between suicide rates and the holidays, I did a little research and found that it's actually a myth. Though many may feel like hanging themselves with a string of colored lights, fewer actually do than at other times of the year. That was news to me, so I'll include this instead: a little note from the National Mental Health Association on Yuletide sadness.

Frankly, I'm ready for the end of 2005, with its hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, more "War on Terror," more George Fucking Bush at our expense… Speaking of which, I saw a keychain at BookShop Santa Cruz that counts down the days, hours, minutes and seconds our village idiot has remaining in office. The cashier saw me looking at it and said, "Yeah, it's funny when you first see it, and then it's just depressing."