I love Why, That’s Delightful – don’t you?

I found this on the net and now Freya wants a cat. The thing is, I don’t think that there is another cat quite like Maru!

There is something about my darling mother that will always bring out the badly behaved child in my (laughs socks off). The pope is visiting the UK soon, and she is making all manner of special plans to celebrate this special event.

I have been playing this clip all evening, just because I know I shouldn’t… I am such a bad girl! Brenda will slap my legs when she sees it!

Hurrah!

The summer holidays finally came to an end this morning (sigh), when at last, we successfully prized the school gates back open. Dulwich parents were truly running out of ways to occupy our super intelligent progeny! I have coaxed the poppets up the Eiffel Tower by describing it as an enormous play frame for the last time – shame there was no slide at the top as promised. Who knew? They won’t fall for that trick again.

We sent them camping in Antrim, to admire the basalt column rock formations with my mother – well it rains there, doesn’t it sweetie? Moisture plays havoc with my hair.

They had fun. I can’t do everything with them, can I?… I am a working mother (pouts).

So, this morning my perfect angel set off for her first full day at big girl school…OHMYGOD! I have been preparing for months! No expense has been spared (smirk).

I had considered strapping a horse box to the back of the Range Rover and dressing from head to toe in Barbour (indicating old money), cladding the outside of the car with bicycles and canoes (implying a sporty family) – but exercise really isn’t me… Then a jet ski, too blingtastic? Do you think? – Holy hell! How to set the right tone. If you think deeply about things, as I do, you want to give your poppet just the right start, it was agonising!

In the end, my seven year old baby girl insisted on traveling to school by scooter – DAMN (stomps foot)! I am in complete agony (whimper). I don’t do flat shoes and I walked at least a mile in my new 3 inch patent wedges. When we arrived at the school, we were surrounded by 17 year old pupils, with skorts no bigger than my baby’s!!!

I almost inhaled my own vomit!

James commented that the expense of the “skorts” had all been worthwhile, as Freya will never ever require a new one. Skorts are not skirts, said with a posh accent you know, they are skirts and shorts integrated! If you ask me, some of the long limbed and pert teenage girls we saw this morning should have their skorts sewn onto their vests for good measure!

I refuse to allow my baby to become a teenager, and if she does, there is always boarding school.

My poppets had NEVER been to MacDonalds before this summer, and then I asked my mother to help me to look after my poppets while I work (sigh).

THREE TIMES IN ONE WEEK!!! It’s a tad too often, don’t you agree?

This burger is 4 years old.

Join me and boycott this poison factory (stomps foot).

This cheered me up today, I am so relieved to say that I can still smile, I am an emotional wreck…

The poppets’ school holidays have dragged gone on for far too long an age and at long last soon my spoiled exhuberant young brats darlings will be back at their desks HURRAH!

I am running out of agencies prepared to find aupairs for me that I can trust to find me good staff. I have been through 14 aupairs so far this summer (whimper). They don’t seem to realise that challenging behaviour a curious nature is a sign of the fact that they need a slapped bottom intelligence.

Working full-time during the long summer holidays is the one thing that keeps me sane can be so very difficult.

Normal blogging service will resume soon…

I know that we all get bombarded with advertising about bargaintastic offers (laughs socks off), but this is too good to keep to myself – clearly!

House of Fraser Gift Time, 26th August – 12th September

Love a gift that gives you skincare choices? Choose your repair serum, a 7 day supply of Perfectionist [CP+] Wrinkle Lifting Serum or Idealist Skin Refinisher. Then choose your moisturizer, a deluxe 14-day supply of TimeZone or Hydrationist. A full-size lipstick, 4 new Pure Color EyeShadows, plus a chic travel bag and more.

Includes a choice of skincare:

· PERFECTIONIST CP+ WRINKLE LIFTING SERUM FOR LINES/WRINKLES/AGE SPOTS, 7ML OR IDEALIST PORE MINIMIZING SKIN REFINISHER, 7ML

· TIME ZONE LINE AND WRINKLE REDUCING CREME SPF15, N/C SKIN, 15ML OR Hydrationist Maximum Moisture crème, N/C SKIN, 15ml

· Gentle Eye Makeup Remover 50ml

· Eyeshadow Quad Compact with Applicator. NEW Pure Color Shades: Ivory Box, Tea Biscuit, Silver Ball and Amethyst

· Pure Color Crystal Lipstick in Crystal Pink

· SUMPTUOUS BOLD VOLUME LIFTING MASCARA IN BLACK

· Raspberry Croco Travel Bag

Qualifier: Free with any two or more Estée Lauder purchases

ALSO!

Advanced Night Repair Eye Synchronized Complex launched TODAY at 4pm at all Estee Lauder counters nationwide.

With every purchase of NEW Advanced Night Repair Eye receive a 7ml Advanced Night Repair Synchronized Recovery Complex* (10 day supply).

Plus, customers can also pick up a FREE 5-day supply of new Advanced Night Repair Eye* to try, exclusively available from 4pm TODAY. Available whilst stocks last on Thursday 26th August only from 4pm.

* one sample per customer

I have always held a torch for Gary Barlow (prrr), but having just watched his new video, I am rather alarmed by his new “bromance” with Robbie Williams… I do hope that Robbie is not a bad influence (OHMYGOD!).

I am just grateful that I still have Ray Winstone and Huw Edwards to dream about (wipes tear from eye).

Apparently, “style icon” Nicola from Girls Aloud (“loud” is entirely appropriate when referring to this gaggle of females I feel) has launched her own make-up range called “Dainty Doll”…

OHMYGOD!

When did being famous entitle these people to tote themselves as style icons?

What is she wearing?

And as for her little friends…

Did a fire alarm go off while they were playing dress-up in Primark?

Watch out for these pesky members of the clergy, they will do anything to get down with our kids… OHMYGOD!!!