Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life

Stand Up For Yourself. Grow From Conflict and Learn When Being Nice Just Isn't Cutting it.

2013-06-19T10:20:00.002-05:00

Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf -George Orwell

Nice guys finish last. That is, until they learn what I'm about to tell you.

A little background.

I am a full time police officer in a department where the daily population goes up to about 100,000 people.

In my career, I deal with more difficult situations in one month than most people will deal with in their lifetime. It isn't easy, and it isn't for everyone, but working as a policeman gives me unique learning opportunities that aren't available any other way. This lesson was hard learned, and I want to share the fruits of my labor with you.

5 Tips to Make Friends as an Adult (by Acting Like a 5 Year Old)

2013-06-18T09:59:00.005-05:00

Can you really make new friends as an adult? I mean, there’s plenty advice out there on how to help kids make friends. But if you don’t have friends by the time you’re an adult, it seems the world hands you a dunce cap and shows you to the corner.

After all, many adults have all the friends they need or want, right? People get married, have kids and have little time for others outside their family. Doesn’t that make it harder to meet new people after a certain age?

Well, yes and no. Depending on your geographic location, yes, many people “settle down” after a certain age. But not everyone. And while it may take a little more time to “warm up” a new friend as an adult, it can certainly be done.
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Ask Yourself These Seven Empowering Questions to Help You Break Through Resentment and Get On with Your Life

2013-06-17T10:04:00.004-05:00

Are you holding onto resentment that you just can't shake?

Sometimes it's on the surface; other times it's buried deep. But you can always feel it, gnawing away at you.

Resentment can stem from something another person said or did. Or from a life situation that's outside your control. But whatever the source, the resulting sense of unease can fester for months or even years.

And however hard you try to ignore or just let go of resentment, it stubbornly imprisons you in its grip, triggering all sorts of uncomfortable emotions at unexpected times.

Any number of things can spark resentful feelings, just a few examples being…

With Hackers and Big Brother Watching Here's How to Keep Your Personal Information Private

2013-06-16T09:53:00.004-05:00

Does the recent news of the NSA and other government agencies tracking your information have you worried? It should, and this guide will offer some tips on how to protect your privacy.

Several reports have come out recently that are rather terrifying. We’ve heard that the National Security Agency, or NSA, has been snooping into data of U.S. citizens. The IRS is supposedly looking to follow suit as well with the hopes of delving into the social media profiles, bank accounts, credit card transactions and more.

17 Ways To Remove Stress From Your Life Once And For All

2013-06-15T10:50:00.002-05:00

Modern life can be stressful but there are some key things you can stop doing that will remove stress from your life and give you back your sense of calm.

1. Stop being so hard on yourself. You will mess up sometimes. Learn from it, and let it go. You’re never going to be perfect and get everything right. Stop expecting yourself to. Instead, notice the things you are good at, that do go right, that don’t mess up. Notice your funny quirks, little talents and goofy features. Love them for their own sake. Notice all of the ways you’re pretty cool and stop sweating the other stuff you’re not yet good at.

2. Stop being so hard on the world. Unrealistic expectations are one of the root causes of unwanted stress and pressure. Life will not go smoothly so stop expecting it to. Accept life with all its glorious messiness. Kids will be noisy. Trains will be late and traffic lights will be on red at times. Accept it. You can’t control it so why get frustrated by it? Breathe and let it go.

Increase Productivity and Reach Your Goals. Why You Should Not Eat the Elephant One Bite at a Time.

2013-06-14T09:34:00.004-05:00

Is everything taking forever to get done? Does your boss come up to you and ask, “What is taking so long with the project?” Or if you work for yourself, do your business goals never seem to get accomplished. Are you struggling to finish things?

I bet when you start out on a goal or project you have a lot of excitement. It might be the dream project you have always wanted. Your enthusiasm is probably overflowing and you are convinced you are going to rock whatever you have on your plate. After time passes though, do you slowly lose interest, forget why you started in the first, and finally in a state of just plain exhaustion quit the thing you had so much passion for in the first place?

It doesn’t have to be this way. You have probably fallen into the trap of one of the most common personal development, motivational sayings of recent history.

Ten Ways To Keep Your Parents From Moving In With You That You Never Thought Of

2013-06-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

One side effect of the recent recession has been young adults moving back in with their parents, or not being able to move out at all after college because they can’t find a job.

Those who have successfully flown the coop can face a different problem—parents who want to move in with them. There can be numerous reasons for this. Maybe the folks have financial difficulties and lose their house, or one party dies, leaving the other unable to take care of the family home alone.

Some older people suffer from empty nest syndrome after all the kids grow up and move out, or become lonely and depressed from being alone.

For whatever reason, one or both of your parents may decide they want to move in with you. If this is the last thing you want, you’ll need to think ahead and have ways to counteract their plan with one of your own. Before I get into the list I should note that my parents mean a lot to me. These are just some creative ways that may come in handy if you find yourself having this discussion with your parents.

Self Help: Why Bother? Nothing Changes. I’m Stuck. How to get Unstuck and get Moving Again

2013-06-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

The repetitive buzzing rattled my brain and startled my body.

No – I don’t want to get out of bed! It’s too early, too cold and it’s too much effort to get up…

I can’t be arsed to go to boot-camp!

This is the conversation I had with myself this morning as my alarm went off at 6.15 a.m. Every Monday and Friday I have signed up to go to an exercise boot-camp on my local beach. I’ve been going for a few weeks and now it’s getting harder to get up on boot-camp mornings, simply because I know what is coming and it’s going to hurt!

I have been wrestling with my resistance and apathy, and for a moment I got stuck.

This stuckness can happen just as easily with my writing. My inspiration and creativity just dry up, when I focus on worrying about delivering to other people and trying to be perfect. Also if I spend too much time on it and get too physically sedate, because there is not enough variety or physical action to balance out having my head in my laptop.

Healthy Living: Say Goodbye to Fast Food and Master The Cooking Habit in 3 Simple, Stress-Free Steps

2013-06-11T15:22:00.003-05:00

The killer of great cooking is the fear of preparation.

In fact, the killer of a great many dreams is the fear of preparation. How many things are on your bucket list that you haven't started because you were frustrated with what had to come first?

Similarly, how many times have you been tired of takeout and resolved to cook a great meal, only to spend half the night frustrated and end up ordering a pizza?

Cooking at home requires preparation; there's no way around it. But the truth of the matter is cooking at home is cheaper and healthier than takeout. It can also be quicker than takeout.

Financial Advice: Broker versus Bank The Benefits of a Reverse Mortgage Broker

2013-06-10T11:00:00.003-05:00

What’s the difference between walking into a huge commercial mortgage bank and working with a small, independent broker? On the surface, it may seem like a lot.

Yes, the big bank may have a big sign, dozens of loan experts at your service and a national advertising presence.

But when it comes to securing the best rate for your reverse mortgage loan, and ease of working through the loan process, you’ll actually have many more options by going through a mortgage broker.

Plus, your loan is likely to end up being serviced by the same company in the end, anyway.

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Set And Reach Your Goals With This Practical Guide To Forming A Habit

2013-06-09T08:44:00.005-05:00

“To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals–this alone is worth the struggle.” –William Penn

Writing is a huge part of my life.

Whether it’s writing life advice like I am now or copywriting to help a business’ product appeal more to potential customers you can see me writing away.

You know what though? Writing is something that you have to do A LOT if you want to become better. That is true for most things.

That is exactly why I wanted to make it a point to write on a daily basis. Writing in a journal, Microsoft Word, or anything to get my writing muscle pumping was important to me and I knew it was a habit that would be incredibly beneficial to me.

Find Happiness with 5 Sure Fire Ways to Find Out Whether You're Truly Happy in Life

2013-06-08T10:56:00.002-05:00

Some people aren't really sure if they are happy.

They feel like they're drifting through life, trapped in a sea of indifference. "Life's okay I guess," they might say, attempting to reason out their circumstances. But deep inside, they don't really know if they're happy at all.

Maybe they feel like they shouldn't be complaining; they've got a big house, a nice family, a good paying job, basically all of the things that should make them happy.

Perhaps they believe that happiness is nothing more than having financial stability and a full stomach.

Maybe they've forgotten what it is to even be happy, and unknowingly assume that being indifferent is the same thing as being happy.

These people are at risk of living an unsatisfying, passionless life, and they might not even realize it.
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Eating Healthy: When you absolutely must eat fast food are there any healthy options?

2013-06-07T13:06:00.001-05:00

Summer is the time for traveling and enjoying the great outdoors. That means you’re probably spending more time outside, but it also means you’re likely to be eating on the run.

Many of us find it fairly easy to eat healthy when we’re at home and can cook, but what about when you’re traveling by plane or car and all you can find is one fast food restaurant after another? Most of us would like to make it home from vacation without gaining ten pounds or having to go on high blood pressure meds!

While fast food joints make most of their money off the items highest in calories, fat and sodium, there are healthier choices available if you just look for them. Here are some of the least lethal menu items from major chains. Alas, the healthiest item at any restaurant is never going to be the double cheeseburger with large fries!

Advice For Healthy Living: Get Off Your Duff

2013-06-06T10:03:00.001-05:00

We are sitting ourselves to death. No, really, we are. We're averaging 9.3 hours a day sitting compared to 7.7 hours a day sleeping. Do the math – car to work to car to home to TV – that's at least 9.3 hours, right? It's not any better for our kids, either. We've embraced technologies and lifestyles that encourage sitting and our bodies are suffering for it.

The New York Times reported on a study from the journal Circulation, which found that for each additional hour of television a person sat and watched per day, their risk of dying rose by 11%. According to the Harvard Business Review article, Sitting is the Smoking of Our Generation, “After 1 hour of sitting, the production of enzymes that burn fat declines by as much as 90%. Extended sitting slows the body's metabolism affecting things like (good cholesterol) HDL levels in our bodies.”
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Tips For Success: This Is Not Another Article About Failure

2013-06-05T19:29:00.002-05:00

Your fear of failure might just be the thing that's stopping you from succeeding spectacularly and the thing that...stops you...from...doing the...yada, yada, yada...

Honestly, I couldn't go through with it. I don't think I can read another article about how important failure is. Let alone write one.

The necessity of failure to an endeavor is widely appreciated, but there's something else out there that's spoken about in hushed tones in dark alleyways. It can equal fear of failure when it comes to blocking what you want, but it's something a little more subtle, a little more nuanced, a little more insidious.

It's the Fear of Success.

Financial Management Tips: Properly Managing Your Finances During A Divorce

2013-06-04T12:24:00.002-05:00

Throughout our lives we will face many stressful situations, for some, this may include going through a divorce. If you ever have to face a time like this, you should know that it is important that you protect yourself financially. It is understandable that going through a divorce will leave you feeling mentally and physically drained, but you will still need to put in the energy to assure yourself that your future will be alright. Formulating a plan to save yourself financially while dealing with a divorce will not only better your future, but could save you in the long run.

While feeling overwhelmed over a divorce, it is easy to get side tracked on things that need to have your attention, such as personal finances. If you have the willpower to focus on your money, then you will only better yourself. When it comes to having to deal with important finances such as your assets, your best bet is to contact a lawyer, tax advisor, and a home loan expert. It is not recommended that you deal with these types of finances on your own, and they should be left to the professionals.

Control Your Anger With These 5 Steps to Effective Anger Management

2013-06-03T09:00:00.001-05:00

Having spent years as a victim of acute anger problems before finding the courage and strength to cure myself, I can tell you, anger is good. No, that’s not a typo. Anger is an instinct which Nature programmed into us so that we can save ourselves from danger, and it’s healthy. What’s unhealthy however, is what I was – a slave of my anger instead of being its master. No prizes for guessing how it was affecting my life and relationships.

If you’re struggling with anger management, I know how you feel.

You feel helpless.

You know you are the victim, not those whom your anger is directed against.

There are no words to describe the regret and guilt you feel to be unable to protect people you love the most from yourself.

The good news is you can find solutions if you want to. Here are some methods I followed which helped me overcome my anger issues completely.

Reduce Stress and Anxiety: 5 Effective Ways to Deal with Stress and Anxiety at Work

2013-06-02T10:10:00.001-05:00

Is fear leading you down a one-way street to joblessness?

This question might sound extreme but I lost a number of jobs due to excessive anxiety which paralysed my productivity and creativity.

Nearly everyone suffers from some form of stress at work but when it becomes so acute that your whole career belly flops into oblivion, then it’s time to address some of the underlying causes.

I want to share 5 little philosophies I adapted into my working life which allowed me to not only keep a job but to flourish in my new career, as well as reduce my overall anxiety levels.

Relationship Advice: 7 Unexpected Ways To Make Love Last

2013-06-01T10:59:00.000-05:00

If you've got the basics covered - like being faithful, remembering to talk to each other and having great sex – you might be wondering what else you can do to make it through the years. Here are seven lesser known ways to keep the spark alive that have worked for me and my husband for over twenty years.

1. Have Secrets

Everyone will tell you that good communication is vital in keeping love alive, and it is. But it's also essential to keep some things to yourself. If you suddenly develop a crush for the intern in Accounts, don't do anything about it, and also don't tell your other half that you were tempted. What's more, your partner does not need to know how much you spent on those shoes or that gadget you craved, if you have your own bank account. You'll both be happier, if you forget to mention it.

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Personal Development: 5 Playfully Crazy Tips That Can Unleash Your Creative Potential and Boost Your Creativity

2013-05-31T12:22:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck on autopilot and not tapping into your creative side?

You’re so entrenched in your daily routine that hours and hours can pass without ever fully engaging your brain in a more expanded way.

Being stuck on autopilot can be helpful and gets the job done - when the job is boring and repetitive, but what happens when you need to be creative?
Getting those creative juices flowing when you're stuck in a repetitive rut can be difficult.
You need to create a looser environment with no distractions to allow yourself to slip into creative flow.

Yep, if you want to get your creative juices flowing you need to loosen the tight grip of your schedule and your thinking by shaking up your routine.

Here are 5 playfully crazy tips to get your creative juices flowing.

Career Advice: 3 Reasons You Should Transform Your Talent into a Money Making Service

2013-05-30T10:27:00.002-05:00

I never really believed that it was possible to play, and still make money until I started playing.

I played really hard for one year, but for some reason, I didn’t go broke!

Many people told me to get serious with my life and get a job. But being stubborn as I was, I played harder! Even my dog started to wonder who between the two of us was the real dog.

That’s what happens when you do what you love.

The idea of making money has gotten so serious that a lot of us now do it with frowns on our faces. Providing value in exchange for money starts to look like a herculean task and the only thing your eyes are on is, “when the heck will this money come in?”

How to Stop Incessant Fights from Ruining Your Relationship

2013-05-29T09:33:00.003-05:00

Do you sometimes feel unnecessary fights with your significant other are sapping the time and energy out of your life?

I know I did. Until less than a year ago the fights between me and my husband were quite literally incessant. Our weekends and holidays were completely dedicated to this favorite sport of ours. When we were too bored with our jobs we’d even keep the sweet nothings (somethings) flowing over the phone.

Like all addictions, this little hobby of ours also started taking its toll on our bodies and minds pretty quickly, not to mention our relationship. I think I’d have lost my sanity completely, if it wasn’t for something in me which woke up one fine morning and said, “I’ll not fight anymore, no matter what.”

Getting Things Done: The Art of Time Management

2013-05-28T11:32:00.002-05:00

Drop into any office during peak working hours and you are sure to find people busy at their desks trying to get their day’s work done; yet, at the end of the day, it seems like there is still so much left undone.

Speak to any stay-at-home parent and you will find them complaining of always racing against the clock to get all their jobs done.

What’s the problem here? It’s obviously not a lack of effort because everyone works pretty hard; it is more likely to be a lack of an important skill – time management.

If you find yourself nodding in reply to the description of people stressed for time, here are a few ideas you may find useful in managing time better.

16 Excuses that Prevent You from Going After Your Dreams

2013-05-27T11:58:00.001-05:00

“I shouldn’t write this.”

“Nobody’s going to read it anyway. So much has been written about this topic already.”

“What if people hate my stuff?

What if they get bored to tears?”

“What business do I have teaching them something? Heck, am I even qualified to talk about this?”

These are only some of the thoughts that usually race through my head as I am writing a piece for a client.

5 Ways to Prevent Your Identity from Being Stolen

2013-05-26T10:02:00.001-05:00

Identity theft is a growing problem, as technology becomes a bigger part of our lives. This is a major crime that can complicate your life in ways you could never have imagined, like wrecking your finances, ruining your credit history and damaging your reputation.

In this digital age, thieves don’t have to dumpster dive, swipe your wallet or steal your mail to get the personal information they need to access your bank account and credit cards. While there’s no way to be 100% safe from identity theft, there are some simple things you can do to make it more difficult for thieves to steal your identity.