Looking back at the whole situation now, I know how naive and immature I was back then. I wasn’t much of a believer of love even then, but this one guy changed my perspective on love. So I was pulled in, and the concept of love or being in love really consumed me.

Funny as the circumstance would have it, he is still single today and never been married. A friend of mine asked me one day whether I would get back with him now. So I was pondering on the fact of whether I would be happy with him now, since I can’t seem to find happiness with anyone else!

Here’s the truth. Even if he was the last guy on this planet, I don’t think I ever want to get back with him. Why, because I think back then I love him too much. You know the genuine love where one person might be willing to just about do anything, like even die for someone (like in the movies!). May be I was blinded by love so much so that it really ruined my life. I was angry and annoyed. I wondered what was so wrong with me, that he didn’t love me anymore.

I was second guessing myself and had little faith in what I had to offer. He made me feel inadequate.

Time heals all wounds, common break up advice dished out by many. But then, how long is long enough?

To this day, I still think that it’s the fact of me being so angry with him for what he did to me (or what I let myself get into!), that I can’t seem to get myself to love someone else. May be I am too scared to get hurt like that again. Or maybe I haven’t found the sort of person who can love me, for me. Sometimes, even though I write this blog which help many others, I don’t have answers for my own pain!

At the end of the day, I guess it all boils down to choices and consequences. Life goes on… what must be done, must be done!
There is this saying,

What does not kill me will make me stronger.

I sure hope it does!

We generally tend to feel good when we look good. It has a weird way of increasing confidence. Exercising regularly is something that I’ve tried out myself in an attempt to get over being dumped. Not only did it helped me to feel confident about myself physically, it also helped me feel independent and in control.

So give it a try. Sweating out the stress and having a plan to lose weight might do wonders for you too.
A few things to keep in mind when you start on getting fit.

Remember you are doing this for YOU!

Generally, you might tend to think, “Just wait until he sees the new me. I’m going to look drop-dead gorgeous.”

Aiming to look fantastic just so that your ex regrets dumping you, may seem like misguided motivation. In the end you might be disappoint if it doesn’t go the way you want. So make sure that you remind yourself, that whatever effort you are putting into getting fit, is going to be for you.
You are getting fit so YOU can face YOUR future with a more confident and positive state of mind.

Don’t over exert yourself

If you haven’t exercised in a while don’t jump into a rigorous and strenuous getting fit plan. At the same time, don’t over do things. You might feel that exercising is taking your mind off of your ex and try to do more than you body can handle.
It’s best if you can follow a good fitness program, which will really guide you through on a daily basis.

Set weight loss goals

It’s really important to set some realistic weigh loss goals. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by “reduce weight fast” type of hype. Ask yourself, what level of commitment are you willing to put in? What’s your comfort level? How many hours /days can you spend on this etc.
It’s quite ok to start out small and then gradually increase your goals.

Vary your exercise routine

If you stick to the same type of exercises you might feel a bored or want to give up soon. So make sure to add variety to your exercise plan. For example,

Monday – strength training ,deep stretch workout
Tuesday – running
Wednesday -take a day off
Thursday – reduce belly fat exercises
Friday – swimming

At least after 3 weeks you should notice a change in the way you look as well as the way you feel.

Monitor progress

Keep a journal and write down the progress you are making. Write down the exercises you did, for how long etc
Sometimes, even if you have being trying to lose weight for a while, when you see yourself in front of the mirror you might feel as if it’s not working. So may be weekly or daily jot down your weight so that you know you can know where you are heading with your getting fit goals.

Certain exercises work better than others for fast weight loss and some are easier to stick to than others! So chose a proper program that suits you well.

Also, don’t get discouraged if you are not seeing immediate results. It may take some time for your body to adjust to the new activity and build up endurance.

Leave a comment below and let me know whether it’s something you think you can try out. Or may be you are already doing something similar?

Sometime even after your best efforts, you find it impossible memories and moments you cherished, not so long ago.
Most probably when you are idle, your mind play back those memories of your ex and keep it still fresh in your mind. You get advice friend your friends. They tell you that you need to forget your ex fast and move on or there are plenty of “fish” in the sea etc so forget about your ex. I am sure all such friends mean well, but hearing all this you feel pressured to forget those moments you shared with your ex.

So here’s my take on what has really helped me get past my past, and forget the person I thought, I never could/would!

1. Let go of the idea that you can easily forget your ex

I don’t know why but there are so many articles around the internet that make you believe you can forget your ex quickly. I mean if you were really in love with someone, I personally feel that it will take a fair share of time to completely get over the person.

Whether we like it or not, any experience that left an impression in our mind stays as a memory! That’s part of being human I guess. We can recall such memories when needed and relive those moments later. I guess that’s all part of being human. So this predicament you are in, trying to forget your ex is no different; let of the idea that you can easily forget your ex easily.

2. Ask yourself, why is this so difficult

Perhaps, you still haven’t accepted the break up and have false hope of reversing your break up.
Or may be it was a mistake that you did that caused the break up. May be there are picture of the two of your around the house. Why haven’t you boxed up every thing yet?
Or are you considering getting back with your ex?

By addressing these sort of questions and finding the actual reason, you will be far more closer to forget your ex.

3. Remind yourself why you want to forget your ex!

This is also similar to the above point. I am not asking you to come with 101 reasons, but by all means if you have such list that’s fine too! The key thing to ask yourself is “why should you”? It’s about time you got back your peace of mind or get rid the loneliness of break up or may be you are depressed and can’t go on with your day to day activities.

So identify the goal you want to achieve by forgetting your ex. This will give you a focus of what you want to achieve.

4. Keep Busy – Don’t stay inside your house or apartment doing nothing

Staying in your apartment, reminiscing about the good times, won’t get you any closer towards forgetting your ex. Believe me, I know all too well that it can be the most difficult and all you want to do right now is stay curled up in bed or watch a movie in front of the television with some junk food!
It can be depressing staying home alone. You don’t need to go right back into dating but try to spend time more with your friends and family.
Also, find some ways to keep busy after your break up.

5. Don’t contact your ex

If you are constantly talking or hanging around with your ex, it’s going to be even more difficult to forget your ex. I know some people, do this and some may not have much choice if you work together etc. If possible, avoid contact with your ex, at least for a few weeks after the break up. You need to be disciplined enough and convince yourself that you will not contact your ex no matter what!

I’ve written about this before, check out these posts if you haven’t already.
58 Practical Ways To Cut Off Contact With Your Ex And Stay Away from Your Ex

I’ve come to a cross road, where I keep wondering, if I am so wonderful, why am I still single? I am sick of hearing the same old excuse, “It’s not me, it’s me”. What will it take to be the woman men don’t want to leave?

Time and again, it’s been a constant re-occurrence in my life. With each heartbreak, I feel like I’m being “damaged”. It’s a like a small part of me is getting “destroyed” with each break up. I am becoming even more feeling-less and losing faith in this so called love, I so.. believed.

Is there really a soul mate out there for me? Why do I have to meet so many “wrong” people until I find someone that’s “right”. You tend to ask yourself, “If this relationship didn’t work, will I ever find one that does?”

Break ups have a real way of tapping into your insecurities.
Often, feels near impossible to think of having anyone in your life close enough, that you are vulnerable to anyone ever again.
You wonder, why it’s happening to you; may be your friends have a really happy relationship with someone they love. But then, why not you? You are a caring, thoughtful wonderful person. But still, you fear that you might stair at a lonely future for the rest of your life.

So here I am back to square one. Would I give up on this search of finding someone awesome, who will see the best in me; someone who’d consider that I’m the best thing that happened to them.

Tossing Out Everything And Starting Over After A Break Up

Honestly, starting over after a break up is painfully difficult. The level of pain will depend on how attached you were to your ex and the relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice if it was easy as erasing a whiteboard! At this point I’ve tried that, but it seems that a few bits and pieces are still lurking around!

This makes me wonder, do you really NEED to toss out everything? Perhaps, there are a few things in your life that you want to keep.
But either way, you need to hop on the train to start over, all over again.

Starting Over After A Break Up – Take Action Toward a New Beginning

You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it’s too late. ~ Jean Chatzky

Perhaps your last relationship wasn’t so good. Maybe your entire relationship history makes you feel frustrated, annoyed and disappointed! However, it’s still not the end of the road. Don’t give up and think it’s too late.
After a relationship ends, it’s not only important to bounce back, it’s equally important to move forward. This means putting the past behind you and allowing yourself to truly start fresh.

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You is one of the best books I’ve read on moving past a break up. I keep revisiting the book, over and again! (here’s my review of the book). Every time I read this, it give me clarity, hope and the necessary “kick start” I need to start over after a break up.

Single on Valentine’s Day?

If you happen to be single on Valentine’s day, it can be sometimes be very lonely and you might even start to question why you are single, in the first place! The Valentine’s day stirs up all the feelings inside of you and often you are left with fear and dread of not finding someone you can be with.
So don’t get caught up in all the emotions. Read my previous post on how to be single yet still Survive Valentine’s Day Alone

Looking for Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas ?

If you are one of those lucky people who has someone that adores you, check out some
Cheap Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas For Your Boyfriend

Quotes For Valentine’s Day

“Valentine hearts beat more passionately than everyday hearts.” ~Anonymous

“You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well. ~Author Unknown”

“Love consists in desiring to give what is our own to another and feeling his delight as our own.” ~ Emanuel Swedenborg

“Love is missing someone whenever you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in heart.” ~Kay Knudsen

“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” ~Eva Gabor

• “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “I remember watching the mascara tears flood the ivories and I thought, “It’s OK to be sad.” I’ve been trained to love my darkness.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “Do you know the feeling,when your heart is so hurt,that you could feel the blood dripping?”
  — Lady Gaga
• “I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me.”
  — Lady Gaga

Well, you might be heart broken and feel really down. However, you can still enjoy the holiday season this year. Don’t let the break up ruin your Christmas and new year.
Last year I wrote the post Christmas Break up: How To Survive Being Dumped During The Christmas Holidays, but thought of adding a bit more to it.

1. Focus your energy on family and friends.
Don’t stay at home thinking about your ex all day. Find out what your friends are doing for Christmas and try to help out in any way you can. Or perhaps you are going to visit your family this year, get involved with various activities so that you can get your mind off your ex.

2. Be will to say “I don’t want to talk about it”
There will be many people who’d want the latest scoop about the break up during family gathers, friends parties etc. People love to gossip especially during the holidays where many people come together. If you are not comfortable talking about it just be straight and say it. Say that you are going through a difficult time and hope the other person can respect that.

3. Give yourself a gift
While you buy many gifts for others during the holiday, want is it that you want? Anything nice and affordable that you’ve been meaning to get for a while? Or many you visit a spar, massage etc just pamper yourself.

4. “It’s ok to go alone”
When your single all at once it can be difficult to walk into parties and various dinners alone. You are so used to going with your ex. Get a friend to tag along or take a family member if you can. Gradually you will get used to this but it will take some time.

While these tips were specific to getting over a break up during the holidays, I’ve written more articles which you might find useful.

• How To Forget Your Ex When EVERYTHING Around Reminds You Of Your Ex
• Ways To Cope With Loneliness After Being Dumped
• Breakup Pain: What To Do When You Can’t Stop Feeling Sad And Hurt

Being dumped, you are at the receiving end. Often you don’t want to end the relationship. You want every ounce of the relationship to work, and letting go is far from the mind. I was thinking all along what can I do to change? What can I do to make him stay. Looking back at it now, it all seems pathetic and desperate.

You can’t control the persons thoughts or feelings

Sometimes, you feel they are unjustly ending the relationship or maybe you don’t see any logic in their choice. The truth of the matter is they possess the freewill to do with their life, as they wish. As much as you may want to, you can’t control another person’s thoughts or feelings.
It is sometimes enormously painful to accept this fact, especially if you feel you have given so much of yourself to this other person.

After being dumped, Let go – let them walk away

When they choose to walk away from you, you may feel a very strong craving to stop the progress of their actions. When feeling that you deserve something from this person, it can cause you to behave in very improper way. This behavior is detrimental to your emotional well being.

Letting go doesn’t always seem like the right thing to do at the time. But sometimes, you have to let the other person find their own path; even if it means you have to imagine a life without you, in it.
It just means that their part in your life story is over. Deep down I think you will know that is.

So don’t try to talk him or her into staying with you or convince them to love you etc If they can’t treat you right, love you back and see your worth, surely you deserve better.
Trying to hang on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you is only going to prolong your breakup pain.

After being dumped, letting go doesn’t happen overnight

Letting go your past the your ex, isn’t something you do once and it disappears! Letting go is a journey with steps forward and steps backward; You will have your share of good days and bad days.

I have been through many gut twisting, heart wrenching breakups that really pinned me down to the ground and ripped me into pieces. So believe, me when I say letting go is a process that takes time.

Letting go and moving on is difficult; I’ve shared my experience previously. Check it out if you’ve missed those posts.

• Life After Break Up Building Walls Of Hope Of Love And Relationships
• How To Move On After Getting Dumped

I am listing out all possibilities to cut off contact with your ex. It’s up to you to decided what is best suited for your situation.
Some of these may sound a bit too extreme for you. It all depends on the sort of breakup you had. If the breakup was a mutual understanding, and you have no problems withing in contact with your ex, then I doubt that all this is needed.

Cut Off Technology Links to Stay Away From Your Ex

Avoid Common Places to Stay Away From Your Ex

Extract Your Ex To Cut Off Contact

Reclaim your space as your space

Keep Yourself Busy To Stay Away From Your Ex

What has worked for you to cut off contact with your ex after the break up?

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #1- On Accepting The Break Up

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #2- Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #3- Getting Dumped : Lessons Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #4- Not Forgiving Your Ex Imprisons You (and Eventually Ruins Your Life!)

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #5- Revenge After Break Up: 5 Things To Think About Before Getting Even With Your Ex

ok. this last one is not really a break up quote, but added this since I thought it was funny!