Is your kid continually asking you to play Minecraft? Are you wondering if Minecraft is safe for kids? Well, we have answers to those questions and others you may have about this incredibly popular game. Here they are.

What is Minecraft?

Minecraft is a video game where players either build things with block-like materials or go on adventures. The graphics are primitive by design. There’s Minecraft Bedrock and Minecraft Java. They have some differences, along with some advantages and disadvantages. Without going into the details, let’s just say that Bedrock is better for younger kids.

There are two modes that kids can play.

Modes of Play

There’s Creative mode and Survival mode. In Creative mode, kids build things like houses, buildings, cities, roads, and railways. It’s like putting a kid into a room with unlimited LEGOs. They will never run out of resources to build. It’s exactly what the name suggests: creative. In Survival mode, the player must gather resources to survive the elements or dangers; however, the resources are limited. There’s also an adventure that the player can choose to go on or not. It basically involves finding a dragon and killing it.

In these modes of play, the user can set the game to peaceful, easy, normal, or hard. There are weird characters and animals roaming inside the game, but they mind their own business when in peaceful mode. In the other modes, they will attack the player with greater aggression as the settings become more difficult.

Playing Options

There are three playing options in Minecraft with different rules and objectives. The three are World, Realms, and Servers. Players can play single or multiplayer in each. In World, the player owns a private World and can invite friends (or friends of friends, if you allow). However, a player’s friends can only enter the World when the owner of the World is in there as well. In Realms, the player can invite anyone to be in their Realm or give a code to enter. Invited players can be in the Realm at any time, whether the player is on or not. A Realm costs $8 a month.

Finally, there’s Servers. Servers are minigames that are made by third-party game makers. This is the part of Minecraft that requires the most caution. However, Minecraft Servers tend to be more closely monitored and controlled by the third-party game makers than other similar systems like Roblox, especially in the chats. One time, my son made an innocent political joke and was told by the Minecraft chat moderator to cease and desist.

Some of the games involve building, and there are plenty of times when users will build inappropriate things. So, the chats are moderated pretty thoroughly (some Servers more than others), but not the builds. You could end up with a structure resembling a body part, and no moderator will edit it.

At what age is Minecraft appropriate for kids?

Minecraft is for many different ages, even as young as six. Children who are between six and nine years old should probably stick to playing Creative or Survival modes on the “peaceful” setting. Meanwhile, my recommendation for ages 10-13 is to play Creative or Survival modes with more difficult settings if they choose. There are a few somewhat creepy characters that will growl and attack them as the settings get more difficult. If you set the game to “peaceful,” however, the characters are still there, but they don’t attack. The players defend themselves by hitting the attacking character with a sword. So, there is a little violence in the game, but not much. There isn’t any blood or gore. The attacking characters are knocked back when hit and disappear when they die.

By the time they’re 10, most kids should be ready for multiplayer in either World or Realms, where they invite their friends, but you shouldn’t let any kid under the age of 16 play with people they don’t know.

What are the safety risks of Minecraft for children?

Minecraft is definitely safer than a lot of other online games. The parental restrictions give parents much more control over how their kids play and with whom. However, if restrictions are lifted on the multiplayer Servers area, kids can be exposed to inappropriate content or worse, predators using the game to groom their next victim. Parents should still be vigilant in protecting their kids when allowing them to enter the online gaming world. The good thing is that Minecraft does not have audio chat built into the game. It can only be utilized with add-ins. However, a predator can build a friendship with kids by playing Minecraft with them and using the chat feature if it’s been enabled on your child’s account. Then the predator will gradually try to move the child to a less-filtered game or chat area.

Another risk to be mindful of is the ability to invite friends of friends. If your child’s friend’s parents give their kids unlimited access to Minecraft, your child may be befriending strangers. Your child may think they are inviting a friend of a friend when it’s actually a person they don’t know. Be sure to monitor who your child is inviting to their World/Realm.

Bullying can also take place in Minecraft multiplayer, even from kids your child knows. This is another danger of allowing friends of friends to enter a World or a Realm in particular.

What parental controls does Minecraft offer?

Kids under the age of 16 need their parents’ permission to play online. A parent needs to create a Microsoft account that is linked to the child’s gaming account. From that Microsoft account, a parent can set various restrictions that the child cannot change (unless they know their parent’s login information). A parent can limit access to online multiplayer play, chat capability (the ability to write messages to other players), and the ability to add friends. Chat features are automatically disabled for players under the age of 13.

Minecraft Realms allows parents the ability to set up a World for their kids where they can only invite their friends.

Minecraft allows users to block certain players and/or their messages. The game makers also encourage their users to report inappropriate behavior, while also monitoring players more closely than similar games.

Should I let my child play multiplayer or single player only?

It depends on your child’s age, maturity, and trust level. Single player is the safest. Your child is playing a video game offline in your home. Multiplayer has a number of options. Your child can play multiplayer in World or Realms with just their friends, or you can open it up to friends of friends. Friends of friends may add a little more risk if that friend’s parents allow them to befriend anyone or are just unaware. If you are leery of allowing your child to play multiplayer, do a trial run with just friends; perhaps start with a trial period with just one trusted friend.

What do I do if my child encounters inappropriate content or strangers on Minecraft?

Minecraft encourages players to report inappropriate content or malicious users so they can keep the game safe. However, the best way to keep your kids from encountering strangers is to play Creative single player (offline) or play in World or Realms and only invite their friends. Minecraft also gives you the ability to block other players.

What positive skills does Minecraft teach kids?

Probably the most obvious skill Minecraft teaches kids is how to be creative. They can design and build anything their imaginations can dream up. Designing and building often involve math and spatial awareness. Kids will exercise both of those skills a lot. Minecraft also teaches players how to work cooperatively. When they are playing together with their friends in World or Realms, kids tend to build communities together. They have to learn how to listen, plan, negotiate, and build with one another in a peaceful way. Sometimes that can be relationally messy and requires working through conflict. A couple of other skills players learn are how to problem-solve and use a finite amount of resources effectively.

Is Minecraft safer than Roblox for kids?

Yes, Minecraft is considerably safer than Roblox. Roblox leans more heavily on user-created games; therefore, there is more inappropriate content that kids can encounter. Minecraft, on the other hand, relies more on content created by the game maker. Even the Servers component of Minecraft is more limited and monitored.

Minecraft has a better parent safety setup that makes it more difficult for kids to work around the restrictions. Parents are also able to block more in Minecraft than in Roblox. In my family, I feel good about my kids playing Minecraft. I can’t say the same about Roblox. For more on that, check out: Is Roblox Safe for My Child?

Sound off: In your opinion, is Minecraft safe for kids? 

The post Is Minecraft Safe for Kids? appeared first on All Pro Dad.

Letdowns are going to happen in sports and in life. It’s difficult when it’s you, but it’s significantly harder to watch your kids deal with letdowns. It can be challenging to be a calming presence for my four kids when things aren’t going well. But when they make mistakes or endure a tough season of life, we, as dads, get to be their coaches and also model the resilience they’ll need. Here are 4 checks to help your kids handle a letdown.

1. Check the mirror.

In football, if a play broke down, everyone on the team knew somebody had messed up. A fumble, interception, dropped pass—letdowns cost people jobs in pro football. But when kids experience a letdown, we must treat things differently. We should not blame them for their mistakes. They aren’t in the NFL. They’re kids, and with kids, effort trumps results. Letdowns are moments when dads get to teach. Blame is the last thing we should heap on our kids.

Kids are going to feel bad enough over failing a test, breaking a bone, or missing the party. What we can do is help them look in the mirror. Ask questions like, “Did you study your hardest? Did you act recklessly? Have you been kind?” These help kids think outside of their feelings and analyze their role in the letdown. Maybe they did nothing wrong, and someone else caused them pain. In that situation, just console them. If the letdown came from a lack of effort, like not studying, we can coach them to give their all next time. But if a letdown happens and they can look in the mirror and say they gave 100 percent effort, well, just hug them. They did all they could do. I like to stress effort over results to my kids. Sometimes the result is a letdown, but effort is always commendable.

2. Check your ego.

Letdowns have a way of trying to define us. Bad letter grade? Didn’t get the lead in the school play? That doesn’t mean you aren’t smart or talented. Checking your ego means understanding that you are not your letdown, and its presence doesn’t diminish your value. This can be hard for kids to grasp because so much of childhood is about fitting in, getting attention on social media, or achieving something noteworthy. When those things aren’t happening, and a letdown occurs, that’s fertile ground for anxiety, depression, and questioning identity. Dad, you can help your kids compartmentalize rather than catastrophize. Letdowns must be put in their place. They happen to everyone, but do not define anyone. Your kids are valuable regardless of circumstance, so we just help them separate their struggles from their worth.

3. Check the calendar.

If my son goes out for the high school lacrosse team and gets cut, he’ll likely feel let down. He’ll have one year to work on his skills and try out again. If he bombs the first test of the semester, he only has a few weeks to pull his grade up. After a letdown, help your kids assess their timing. Not all letdowns are created equal. Some require immediate attention. Others can wait a little. If it’s a short-term letdown, create a game plan to overcome it, if possible. If they’re dealing with a longer-lasting letdown, like an injury or trauma, the calendar can be a helpful tool. You won’t have to rush things. You can remind them you’ll be there for the long haul. Understanding the timing helps them determine their reaction. Use the calendar to your advantage as you try to model resilience and guide your kids through letdowns. Stick by their side to comfort them for the duration.

4. Check your heart.

If the letdown involves the heart, it’s not easily, if ever, fixed. A broken promise. Rejection by a friend. Public embarrassment. These letdowns can have lasting effects. When things don’t work out, ask “how” questions. “How are you feeling? How busy are things? How do things look different now? How can I help you?” It invites conversation, which opens the door for you to reaffirm how much you love them and share a story from a time you were let down. Remind them they aren’t weird. Letdowns can often leave kids feeling rejected and expendable. That’s never true, and they may need reminding. Letdowns have a way of tossing kids around emotionally. They’ll need your love to get through it.

Sound off: What letdown shaped you most from childhood?

The post Dan Orlovsky: 4 Checks to Help Your Kids Handle a Letdown appeared first on All Pro Dad.

I just finished feeding my son. He looked happy and content. Then, hic! His small body jerked up. I was concerned for a second until I realized he had the hiccups. Over and over, his whole body jerked with each one. On one hand, I was excited to see my son do something new. On the other hand, I started wondering: Is it OK for a baby to hiccup? If he does it too much, does that mean something is wrong?

After a Google-search rabbit hole, I discovered newborn hiccups are one of the most normal things your baby will do, and there are a few things you can do to help.

Why Does My Newborn Hiccup So Much?

Newborns hiccup so frequently because their diaphragm and nervous system are still immature, according to research published in StatPearls, and almost anything related to feeding can trigger it.

My son’s hiccups started after a feeding. Your baby eats too fast, swallows air, or takes in more than his stomach can comfortably hold. The stomach expands, presses up against the diaphragm, and the spasms start. A review published in PMC notes that hiccups may function as an evolved mechanism to help remove swallowed gas from the stomach, which would explain exactly why they peak right after you feed a newborn.

It is also worth noting that babies start hiccupping long before you meet them. Research tracking fetal movement found that hiccups were the predominant diaphragmatic movement before 26 weeks of gestation, making them one of the earliest things a developing baby learns to do. By the time my son was born, he had been hiccupping for months.

How Can I Prevent Newborn Hiccups in the First Place?

Preventing newborn hiccups mostly comes down to how and when you feed: Slower, calmer feedings with regular burp breaks significantly reduce the frequency.

Here is what has made the biggest difference for us in the first weeks:

• Feed him before he gets frantic. When my son is very hungry, he gets worked up and tends to eat fast. When this happens, a baby gulps air with every swallow. OSF HealthCare pediatrician Ameera Nauman, MD, recommends feeding your baby before they reach the point of being overly hungry and agitated. A calm baby feeds more efficiently and takes in less air. My wife and I use the Huckleberry app to log feedings and get an estimate of when our son will be hungry next.
• Slow down the feeding. This is easier said than done. When my son is hungry, it’s hard to slow him down. Something you can do to help slow the feeding down is to check that the bottle is full and there is no air in the nipple before each feed. A slower-flow nipple can also help if your baby tends to gulp. If your wife is breastfeeding, check the latch. A poor latch means more air goes in with every suck.
• Burp mid-feed, not just at the end. Do not wait until the feeding is over to burp. It might seem weird to stop the feeding, but pausing has been working for my son. Pause every two to three ounces with a bottle. Getting trapped air out early means less pressure building against the diaphragm.
• Hold him upright after feeding. Keep your baby in an upright position for 20 to 30 minutes after a feeding. This lets gravity help keep stomach contents where they belong and reduces the chance of the diaphragm getting irritated. This is where babywearing earns its keep: sometimes I put my son in the carrier after feeds, and he stays upright while I get back to work. No special effort required.
• Avoid active play right after feeding. I love sitting my son on my lap and making him dance around. But an activity like that needs to wait after a feeding. Bouncing, jostling, or laying your baby flat immediately after a feed gives his stomach’s contents the best chance of pressing on the diaphragm. Give it 20 to 30 minutes.

How Do I Stop My Newborn’s Hiccups Mid-Feed?

The most effective way to stop hiccups during a feeding is to pause, burp your baby, and give the diaphragm a chance to settle before continuing.

During early morning feedings, I am in a zombie-like state, too tired to remember the tips to prevent hiccups from happening. I’m more focused on just trying to keep my eyes open and then hic! If you find yourself in this situation, like I often do, stop and take a burping break. Sit your baby upright on your lap, support his head, and gently pat or rub his back. The goal is to release any trapped air in his stomach that may be pressing on the diaphragm. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends burping a bottle-fed baby after every two to three ounces and burping a breastfed baby each time you switch sides.

If burping does not settle things, try offering a pacifier. Pediatrician Kylie Liermann, DO, at the Cleveland Clinic, explains that the sucking motion helps relax the diaphragm, which can interrupt the hiccup cycle. I tried this one the other day. It does not work every time, but it works often enough to keep the pacifier within arm’s reach.

One thing to note: Most of the classic adult hiccup remedies do not apply here. Do not startle your baby, pull his tongue, put anything cold in his mouth, or try to make him hold his breath. Pediatricians at Phoenix Children’s Hospital are clear that these tactics are not appropriate for infants and can cause unnecessary distress.

Do Newborn Hiccups Bother My Baby?

No, newborns are generally unbothered by hiccups, and most can feed and sleep right through them.

My son’s hiccups look so dramatic. But the consistent message from pediatricians is that the hiccups bother us far more than they bother the baby.

If your baby is calm, making eye contact, and feeding normally, the hiccups are not a problem. You can let them run their course. Most bouts of newborn hiccups resolve on their own within five to 10 minutes, without any intervention at all.

It is also completely fine to let your baby sleep while hiccupping. His airway is not at risk. If he is not distressed and his breathing is normal, put him down. He will likely sleep right through it. If you are worried about your child’s breathing at night, talk to your pediatrician about monitoring options that might give you peace of mind. My wife and I have been using a baby monitor that has helped.

When Should I Call the Pediatrician About Hiccups?

Call your pediatrician if hiccups last longer than two hours, happen constantly throughout the day, or are accompanied by other symptoms like coughing, arching, spitting up excessively, or other signs of distress.

That last combination—hiccups plus coughing, spitting up, and back arching—can sometimes signal gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). Pediatrician Robert Quillin, MD, of Pediatrix Newborn Services of Texas, notes that if a baby is uncomfortable with hiccups, particularly after feeding, it may be a sign of reflux that is worth discussing with your provider.

I have taken my son to every pediatric appointment since he was born, and I would always rather ask a question and feel like I overreacted than stay home and wonder. If something feels off to you, call. That is what the pediatrician is there for.

For a broader look at what to expect in the first weeks of fatherhood, 5 Tips for New Dads is worth reading before you need it.

Sound off: What is the one thing about newborn hiccups you wish someone had told you before your baby arrived?

The post How to Stop Newborn Hiccups (and Why They Happen So Much) appeared first on All Pro Dad.

I had thought a lot about being a dad.

I work at All Pro Dad, so it is literally my job to understand the role a father plays in a child’s life. I believed in the organization’s mission. I knew the research. During the pregnancy, I was already mentally mapping out how I’d bond with my son: taking him to his first All Pro Dad Experience, his first wrestling show, and his first rollercoaster ride. I had it all thought through.

Except none of that is relevant when your son is three days old.

My wife had a C-section, so when I walked into that delivery room, my head was somewhere specific: Make sure they are both safe. That was the whole job. And when it was over, and my son was here, and everyone was OK, I held him and realized something a little humbling. I had no idea how to bond with a baby.

I had skipped straight to the three-year-old version in my head. And I suspect I am not alone. A lot of new dads are great at imagining fatherhood in the future tense: the sports events, the conversations, the moments that feel like the ones from movies. But this part, the part where your child cannot hold his head up yet, there are plenty of resources for moms on this, not as many for us.

So this is for the dad who is already dreaming about taking his son to his first game, but is not sure what to do before that becomes age-appropriate. It starts here. And it is more than you think.

Why does bonding feel different for fathers than for mothers?

Fathers bond differently from mothers because they start from a different place, biologically and experientially, and that is not a deficit. It is just the starting line.

I knew my wife was bonding with our child in the womb. Every kick and movement, she was overjoyed. For me, that connection was harder to find before he arrived. It turns out that is completely normal.

Research published by the Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN) found that mothers typically begin to feel like a parent the moment they learn they are pregnant, while fathers report they did not start to experience fatherhood until birth. Most fathers expect an immediate bond and then discover it takes time. Some do not feel fully bonded until six weeks or even two months after their baby arrives. That is not a deficit. It is just a different starting line.

One thing worth naming directly: Paternal postpartum depression is real. Research shows it affects approximately eight to 10% of new fathers, with the highest rates in the three-to-six-month window after birth. If bonding feels harder than expected, or you are feeling detached, anxious, or persistently low, that is not weakness. That is a signal. Talk to your doctor or a trusted person in your life.

Does your newborn already know who you are?

Yes. Newborns recognize their father’s voice from birth because they have been listening since before they were born.

Here is something I found genuinely moving: I had been reading to my son since he was still in the womb, partly because I knew it was good for development, and partly because it felt like the first thing I could actually do as a dad. And it turns out, he was listening.

Fetal hearing begins to develop around 23 weeks of gestation, and by the time a baby is born, they have been processing and responding to voices for months. A published study in Developmental Psychobiology measured fetal heart rate responses and found that fetuses respond measurably to their father’s voice, meaning the recognition begins before birth, not after.

You are further along than you think. The bonding is not starting from zero. It already started.

What are the most effective ways for fathers to bond with a newborn?

Fathers bond most effectively through consistent physical presence and daily caregiving: the routine, unglamorous moments of skin-to-skin contact, night feedings, diaper changes, and simply showing up.

Here is the honest thing about bonding with a newborn: It is not a feeling you wait for. It is something you do. These are the things I have been doing in the first weeks, and what each one actually felt like.

Skin-to-Skin Contact

I will be honest. I was not sure what to expect from this one. You take your shirt off, then put this tiny person on your chest, and it works. There is something immediate about it. His heart rate calms down. Mine does too.

The science behind it is real: A randomized controlled study measuring salivary oxytocin found that levels increased significantly in fathers, mothers, and infants during skin-to-skin contact. Fathers with higher oxytocin levels also showed greater responsiveness and synchrony with their babies. It feels a little awkward the first time. Do it anyway.

Taking the Night Shifts

Because my wife had a C-section, this was not optional in the early weeks. She was recovering from major surgery and needed rest. So, I took the nights. And I will not pretend 3 a.m. is glamorous. But those hours are something else. The house is completely still; it is just the two of you, and there is no version of that moment where you are anything other than fully present. That is where the bond forms, in the silence, when nobody else is watching.

Owning the Diaper Changes

Diaper changes aren’t optional in those first weeks, but are, genuinely, one of the better bonding tools available. Every change is a few minutes of direct contact: eye contact, your voice, your hands. It is not just a chore. It is one of the few things your newborn actually experiences, and you are the one doing it. Take it seriously even when it is unpleasant.

Reading Out Loud

I started this before he was born, and I have kept going. He cannot follow the plot. He does not know what green eggs and ham are. But he knows the rhythm of my voice, and being held while I read is something he already associates with calm and closeness. You are not teaching him to read yet. You are teaching him that Dad’s voice means safety.

Wearing Him (Babywearing)

I work from home, which has been a gift I did not fully anticipate. When my wife needs to sleep or just have her hands free, I put my son in the carrier and keep working. He is against my chest, he can hear my heartbeat, and he sleeps. I get to feel like I am doing two things at once, which, as a new parent, is about as good as it gets. Babywearing is one of the easiest ways to rack up close, calm time together without carving out a separate block of your day for it.

Pediatric Appointments

This one surprised me. I have taken my son to every appointment so far, and each one has felt like a small adventure. You are out in the world together. [MW6.1]You are advocating for him, watching him get checked out, and asking questions on his behalf. It is one of the first places where you act like his dad in a public, official sense. I did not expect that to feel meaningful. It does.

Why does father-newborn bonding matter so much for your child’s future?

Early father-infant bonding directly shapes a child’s emotional security, cognitive development, and long-term well-being. The foundation you are laying right now matters more than you can see yet.

The sports games and bike rides and big conversations will come. But the research is clear that the foundation underneath all of that is being built right now, in the weeks when your baby cannot do much more than eat, sleep, and look at your face.
Multiple longitudinal studies have found that positive father involvement is associated with:

• Higher academic achievement and greater school readiness
• Greater emotional security and higher self-esteem
• Fewer behavioral problems and greater social competence
• Stronger math and verbal skills

Every diaper change, every night shift, and every time you pick him up when he cries, you are not just keeping him alive. You are building the version of him that will one day sit next to you at that baseball game and feel completely secure in your presence. That starts here. For a bigger-picture look at where this season fits, The 6 Phases of Fatherhood is worth reading.

What does bonding with a newborn teach you about being a father?

Bonding with a newborn teaches you that fatherhood is not a future event you are preparing for. It is already happening, in the smallest moments, right now.

That complete, unearned trust, the way he relaxes on my chest before he even knows who I am, is one of the most disarming things I have ever experienced. He cannot do anything to earn my love, and I would walk through fire for him without a second thought. That is a picture of grace. The bond I was imagining, the one built at games and long conversations in the car, is still coming. But it turns out it is being built right now too, when you’re grabbing a bottle at 3 a.m., dodging pee during a diaper change, and the moments he’s snuggled on your chest during a work call

The dad you want to be is being built in the dad you are choosing to be right now. Do not miss this part.

Sound off: What was the moment you first felt genuinely bonded with your newborn?

The post How Fathers Can Bond With a Newborn appeared first on All Pro Dad.

Thankfully, I found a new job after 10 months of searching. I felt relief—until my wife broke her leg. An entirely different degree of suffering had arrived. Pain comes in waves. Mine felt like tidal waves. But eventually, it passed. As I look back, I can see the benefits of the suffering I endured during that extended period. As hard as it is, and it might be controversial to say, I think we need suffering in our lives. Here are 3 reasons to be thankful for suffering.

1. When you suffer, your endurance grows.

There have been plenty of times as an adult when I didn’t get invited to the social gatherings that I thought I would. These were hosted by neighbors or friends I knew pretty well. And the rejection—or what felt like it—stung and left me feeling lonely. I started wondering if I’d said something wrong. Were we not really friends? That sting lingered, but it inspired me to take more initiative. If I wanted to hang with buddies, I couldn’t just wait for the phone to ring. Slowly, I started building stronger bonds. That’s endurance born out of suffering. We get through hard things by not staying stagnant. Overcoming adversity is how endurance grows.

Endurance is persisting in one direction without wavering from the goal. And it’s not easy. Putting yourself out there and seeing slow or no results can feel like your suffering is intensifying. It can be demoralizing. But this is where your faith becomes a sturdy crutch. James 1:2-3 says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” Endurance is produced in the low points. Ask God for a friend, a mentor, a new job, more patience, or whatever you need to keep enduring well. When this period in your life passes, you might be able to look back and see how much you endured, and your faith will likely be stronger for it.

2. When you suffer, you grow in character.

I can promise you this—my character grew because of my joblessness. Very early on after becoming unemployed, I got offered a contracting gig that paid pretty well. After working there for about a month, I realized it was very much out of alignment with my values. I had to choose between staying and cashing much-needed checks or backing out because it challenged my character. I ultimately walked away.

Suffering puts you in a position for growth. If your marriage is going through a rough season, you can grow in strength and kindness by continuing to honor your wife during disagreements. If someone is being a jerk to you after you make a mistake at work, you can take responsibility for the mistake despite your co-worker’s attitude. This can build humility and perseverance. Going through any struggle and choosing not to quit builds the inner strength that will help you in the moment and down the road when challenges arise again.

3. When you suffer, a door opens for hope.

Suffering can feel like a dark cloud that never leaves us. And if you don’t have hope, everything feels a few shades darker. I think political advisor Chuck Colson said it best: “I meet millions who tell me that they feel demoralized by the decay around us. Where is the hope? … Our hope is in the power of God working through the hearts of people.” If you’re suffering now, God hasn’t abandoned you.

Having hope is step one. It must precede results. Without it, you’ll stew in the suffering, wondering if it’ll ever end. With it, you’ll catch yourself looking for a change in your suffering at any moment. I think God is the one who provides that hope. When I’ve dealt with suffering, things haven’t always gotten better right away, but my hope didn’t fade because I never felt alone.

The next time you go through a period of suffering, remember that hope is key. I believe God is present during our suffering and helps us along the way. And if we look back, sometimes we can clearly see that He was with us through it all. And I believe He is with you too.

Sound off: What moment in your life was painful but helpful?

The post 3 Reasons to Be Thankful for Suffering appeared first on All Pro Dad.

Kids aren’t perfect, and my kids are no exception. They create messes, talk back, and get into squabbles with their siblings. We need to hold our kids accountable when they step out of line. Unfortunately, there are too many days when I just react rather than be intentional about disciplining in a way that loves them and helps them grow. But over time, I’ve gotten better, and I’m working on getting better every day. Here are 5 things dads need to do when disciplining their kids.

1. Plan and prepare.

In football, we plan and prepare a lot, so at a pivotal point in the game, we often huddle up, call a new play, and then execute it. When I do the same things as a dad, I respond a lot better in the moment with my kids. Having a game plan in mind ahead of time can help us respond better to our kids when their behavior requires discipline. So my advice to you is to think about the things your kids do that upset you the most and then prepare your best response. Be ready for it to happen; it most likely will. When it does, your playbook will be ready, and you can discipline your kids well.

2. Breathe and reset yourself.

Inevitably, things go wrong. We don’t mean to, but we get upset and snap at our kids. When you feel yourself unraveling (or if you already are), take a timeout and breathe. I know it’s easier said than done, but the more we practice this self-discipline, the better we get. Count to ten and don’t say anything else until you’ve calmed down. Once you have reset yourself, come back to the issue at hand. The lessons you want to teach your kids will have a greater impact when you’re calm. And if you lost it, apologize. It’ll help keep you from losing it in the future.

3. Listen to your kids and understand why.

We need to work to understand why they are misbehaving. It helps us address the problem more effectively. That starts with paying attention and listening. For example, one of my sons used to act out every year around the time I left for training camp. The thing is, in the off-season, I was around all of the time, but during the season, it was more difficult. I was traveling a lot. The change made my son anxious, and that showed in his behavior. Knowing and understanding the root cause of his behavior gave me more empathy and a better way to respond when he acted out.

4. Be firm, but calm.

I’ve grown more as a person since becoming a dad for one reason more than any other: accountability. My kids point out when I mess up, but more than that, I see when I fall short more clearly now. The times I feel most convicted about my behavior, specifically my lack of patience, are when I see it reflected in my kids. It’s important to be firm with them because they need correction. However, they are going to mimic what they see. If we yell, they’ll yell at each other. If we’re harsh, they’ll be harsh. And if we overreact, they will do the same. Be firm but calm and measured. Again, I know, easier said than done, and I certainly haven’t mastered this. But I’m working on it. That’s what helps us improve as parents.

5. Explain why.

This is where we can often drop the ball when we’re on the goal line. After you’ve confronted the problem with your kids and spent time listening and understanding them, the next thing that’s essential is to explain what you saw, why it was wrong, and what the consequences are for that kind of behavior. It’s probably good to discuss how it can affect them in the future too. For example, if your child lied, it would be beneficial to explain how lying breaks trust and hurts friendships. It causes distance between two people. Explaining all of the whys can reduce disobedience moving forward.

Sound off: What are some important aspects of discipline that you would like to share?

For more tips on discipline, check out this podcast:

The post Adam Thielen: 5 Things Dads Need to Do When Disciplining Their Kids appeared first on All Pro Dad.

Since our outing that night, I’ve gone back to the beginning of Demon Slayer, which started as a show on Netflix. I’ve pored through each 25-minute episode and gotten to know the characters and storylines. If your kids have brought up Demon Slayer and you’re wondering what it is, you’ve come to the right place. Here are our answers to the most popular questions parents have about Demon Slayer.

What is Demon Slayer?

It’s an anime (Japanese animation) series on Netflix. The show aired from 2019 to 2024, and it also includes a film titled Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle, which premiered in theaters in 2025.

Is Demon Slayer for kids?

No, it’s not for kids. Demon Slayer is for teenagers. It’s animated but violent and graphic. Imagine an animated Twilight combined with a toned-down version of John Wick. There’s a lot of blood, with limbs and heads getting cut off. The animation of the demons isn’t that scary, but they can be creepy and sinister. The demons in Demon Slayer are more like vampires than what typical faith traditions envision a demon to be. They get stronger by eating people and have a thirst for human blood. Demons also die if they’re exposed to the sun. Another concern: If your kids watch Demon Slayer, they’ll be exposed to some colorful language. It’s not the major swear words but some of the minor ones, and they’re always spoken in anger. That’s another part that would concern me with younger kids; there’s a lot of anger and overly expressed emotion. They speak to one another in a way you don’t want your young ones to emulate or repeat.

Is Demon Slayer appropriate for a 10-year-old?
Is Demon Slayer appropriate for an 11-year-old?
Is Demon Slayer appropriate for a 12-year-old?

No, no, and no. Age 12 is getting closer, but I would advise parents not to let anyone under 13 or 14 watch Demon Slayer. The violent images can be scary, and the themes are dark. For example, in the first episode, the main character comes home to find his house a massacre and his family murdered with bodies in pools of blood. The idea that something like that could happen can instill a lot of fear in 10-, 11-, and 12-year-old kids.

Is Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle for kids?

No. The movie content is the same level of appropriateness as the show. Same answer as above. I wouldn’t recommend Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle to anyone under 13 or 14.

Is there any sexual content in Demon Slayer?

No, not really. There are sexually suggestive images in a lot of anime. This is often referred to as “fan service.” Fan service is content placed in a show that is insignificant to the plot but makes it more appealing to viewers. Typically, fan service involves a character with a large chest and plenty of cleavage. This is appealing to the boys watching and keeps them glued to the screen. Sadly, there is one character in Demon Slayer that fits this description, but this type of content is not as prevalent as it is in many other anime shows and movies. This character is also not one of the main characters, so her screen time is limited. The only suggestive thing about her (other than her image) is that she’s a bit boy crazy and looks at the different boys with starry eyes when they do something heroic.

Are there any more cons about Demon Slayer?

Besides the graphic violence and somewhat dark themes, the way they speak to each other isn’t great. As I mentioned above, the characters often speak to each other angrily or are overly emotive. Even when they aren’t angry, they speak loudly and with extreme emotion. If your teen starts to replicate the anger and loudness of the characters, it can be a problem.

Some of the older demon slayers encourage the younger ones to use anger as fuel. Even though they are talking about righteous anger, they don’t explicitly make the distinction. Most teens will not pick up on the subtleties between righteous and typical anger and may think that using it as motivation is a good idea. Anger in itself isn’t wrong, but when it becomes someone’s driving force, it can easily turn into bitterness and a vengeful attitude. Hatred is often not far behind. All of those have a way of making us unhealthy.

Are there positives about Demon Slayer?

Yes. There are many themes that can teach kids valuable lessons.

• There is emotional depth to the characters. Every time a demon is killed, it reveals its backstory. You learn about the choice they made and their regrets. Often, they had bad breaks or pain from childhood. This plot element can teach kids that everyone they encounter has battles they don’t know about.
• Our choices dictate the life we lead. The demons’ stories show the consequences of bad choices. They went down a road and ended up at a place we never intended or desired to be. It’s a great warning.
• There’s grace and understanding. The main character, Tanjiro, can sense what a demon is feeling. He senses their regret, almost repentance, and responds with grace, understanding, and dignity for their lives.
• There are family values. The main character, Tanjiro, and his sister are very loyal and protective of each other.
• There’s sacrifice. The demon slayers set aside their own wants and desires to protect others.
• There’s loyalty and teamwork. The main character and his sister are loyal to each other, and the demon slayers are committed to each other and to what’s right.
• There’s perseverance and determination. The main character faces a lot of adversity, and he shows the ability to overcome.
• There’s hard work. The main character undergoes several years of training that push him to his limits. It shows teens what hard work can do.

Is Demon Slayer like KPop Demon Hunters?

No. They’re totally different. KPop Demon Hunters is Korean, and Demon Slayer is Japanese. Both are animated and involve killing demons, but that’s where their similarities end. Demon Slayer is not a musical; it is far more graphic and is created for a more mature audience. If Demon Slayer is like an animated version of Twilight combined with a toned-down version of John Wick, then KPop Demon Hunters is like High School Musical.

What is Demon Slayer about?

A thirteen-year-old boy returns home to find his family murdered by a demon. His only surviving family member is his sister, who has been turned into a demon. It has given her powers, but she refuses to eat humans. The boy is desperate to find a way to turn her back into a human. In the process, he is trained on how to be a demon slayer. He has tremendous skill and a heightened sense of smell that enables him to detect danger and feelings (yes, feelings). The story follows his journey to fight demons, especially the type that killed his family and turned his sister.

Who are the characters in Demon Slayer?

Tanjiro: He’s the main character. Tanjiro is kindhearted and merciful and loves his family.

Nezuko: She is the only family member who survived the demon attack; however, the attack turned her into a demon. She does not feed on humans, though, and uses her demon powers to protect Tanjiro and his friends.

Zenitsu: He’s a demon slayer who uses a different fighting style than Tanjiro. Most of the time, he’s paralyzed by fear and cowardice. Quite frankly, he’s annoying. But occasionally, he becomes incredibly focused and turns into a formidable fighter.

Inosuke: He’s a demon slayer who is loud and boorish. In fact, he even wears a boar mask. He’s a passionate, strong, and skilled fighter, but he often acts without thinking.

The Hashira: These are the top demon slayers in the world. Their sole purpose is to kill demons and protect people.

Muzan Kibutsuji: He’s the highest-ranking demon who has a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson. He’s also the main bad guy, ruthless and cruel, even to the demons who serve him.

The Twelve Kizuki: These are the top fighting demons in Muzan’s corps.

The Upper Six: These are the top six demon fighters in Muzan’s corps. They never change because of their strength and skills.

The Lower Six: These are the lesser six demon fighters of the twelve. They are replaced with frequency due to being killed or simply discarded by Muzan.

Sound off: What are your thoughts on Demon Slayer?

The post Is Demon Slayer for Kids? appeared first on All Pro Dad.

The answer is “yes,” but it’s increasingly difficult. And your teen needs your help, even though she may not want it. Here are 7 ways to help your teens know what’s true.

1. Be open about what you believe.

While it’s true that peers heavily influence teens, research shows that their parents remain the primary influence. So don’t sell yourself short! Spend time sharing what you believe to be true and important with your teens. Talk to them about matters that you think are important. But don’t just give them information. Help them learn to think critically. When my teens state something that I disagree with, I try hard not to be defensive, but instead begin by probing: “Tell me why you think that. Where did you learn that from? Have you considered these questions (and then share some questions I might have)?” I’ll then try to explain why I disagree, while also being honest about the questions I still have.

While you can’t make them agree with you, you can certainly help your teens understand the way you look at the world and why. You can also model humility even as you hold views with conviction.

2. Learn together.

It’s not just teens who need help understanding what is true. We all do. So why not learn together? Share helpful podcasts, books, articles, or YouTube videos with your teen. Watch or listen to the news together. But rather than offering your opinion right away, ask your teen some thought-provoking questions: “What’s something you heard that you really resonated with and why? What’s something that you disagree with or even makes you angry? Why?” Or “Did you learn anything new? What did you like/dislike about how that information was presented and why?”

Talk through what he’s learning and be honest about what you’re learning too.

3. Expose them to different perspectives.

This is a tricky one because, of course, you think your perspective is the best one. That’s why critical thinking skills for teenagers are so important. The goal isn’t to get your teen to agree with you on everything, but to learn to think for herself and discern what’s true. After all, you’re probably wrong about some things; you just don’t know which things, or else you’d change your mind. So instead of shooting down your teen’s ideas, be willing to listen to their source material (watch the TikTok video, listen to the podcast), then talk with them about what you learned and be honest about where you disagree. Then share information on the same subject from a source that you find helpful and engage with them about it.

It’s better for your teen to learn to think critically and research a variety of sources than to simply agree with you. That way, maybe someday she’ll actually be able to correct you when you need it!

4. Acknowledge bias.

I’m a Christian, so I often find myself telling my kids, “I think this way because of what Jesus or Scripture says about this topic.” The idea isn’t to leverage that as authority so much as to practice transparency. It’s critical for teens to learn that everyone has a bias. That’s not a problem. The only problem is when we pretend like we don’t. And of course, it’s not just people who have biases; chatbots do as well.

Modeling authenticity and honesty in your bias normalizes it for your teen.

5. Model humility.

Again, we are all wrong about some things. Probably a lot of things. This should press us into humility. Share what you think, but always do so humbly. When you say what you think, clarify “From where I sit, it seems like…” or “In my opinion….” It’s a small shift, but it makes it obvious that you know you’re sharing a perspective. And have the courage to occasionally say to your teen, “That’s a good point. Honestly, I’ve never thought about it like that. Tell me more.”

It’s hard to be defensive when the person you disagree with is humble. This creates a much better flow of information, one less bogged down in attempts to shut down the opposition, and more open to genuine dialogue.

6. Put the work in.

Before you introduce your teen to new sources, make sure you do the work to know these sources are reliable. Do some research on the source. Is the author credible? What’s his or her background? Is the company (media outlet, publisher) generally biased in a particular direction? Is there a lot of hyperbole and fear used to motivate, or is it fairly reasoned and factual? When you put in the work, you demonstrate how to hone your critical thinking skills.

Remember: Don’t just share sources with your teen that back up your beliefs if you haven’t vetted them. If you do and the sources prove shaky, it’ll begin to raise questions in your teen’s mind about whether he can trust you as a source of information.

7. Ask questions.

There is no greater tool for growing teenagers’ critical thinking skills than learning to ask good questions. The best way for your teen to learn this is for you to ask good questions of him! When he comes to you with an idea you think is crazy, don’t dismiss it immediately; ask questions. Find out where he learned it, what is attractive to him about it, or whether or not he’s done any research.

Model thoughtfulness and curiosity rather than immediate acceptance or rejection based on your current beliefs.

Sound off: What are other ways you can help teach critical thinking skills to teenagers?

The post 7 Ways to Help Your Teens Know What’s True appeared first on All Pro Dad.

How does someone learn to be so intolerant of people with whom they disagree? Well, it’s easier than you think. Here are 5 ways to raise an intolerant adult.

1. Teach him to be afraid.

When we’re afraid, our brains go into fight-or-flight mode. We become laser-focused on survival. The only way to make it out alive is to defeat the perceived enemy. Given that, it’s no surprise that when we’re afraid of someone, it’s nearly impossible to be open to their ideas or even disagree respectfully. After all, openness is vulnerability. And if someone is a threat, being vulnerable is risky. So when we teach our kids to be afraid of other people, we’re actually reducing their capacity for empathy and understanding. They go into arguments looking to defeat their perceived enemy, not to understand him.

So how can we begin to push against the gravitational force of fear? Look for opportunities for you and your teen to serve people with whom you disagree or just don’t understand. It’s hard to be afraid of someone you’re actively trying to love. Can you bake cookies for those neighbors with the annoying yard signs, or serve with an organization that helps people from different cultures or countries? Small steps toward loving people who are different from you can go a long way toward reducing fear in your teen and you.

2. Talk about groups of people in dehumanizing ways.

When you dehumanize people, you remove their dignity. You treat them like animals, or perhaps worse. This makes it easy to dismiss them and their ideas. When your child hears you talk about groups of people in ways that make them seem “less than,” why should he care what they think any more than he cares what your dog thinks?

So how do we guard against this? First of all, be honest with yourself about how you talk about people you disagree with. If your child spoke in public about a teacher or a friend using the words you use for those you don’t see eye to eye with, would you be proud or embarrassed? Ask your teen (or your wife) for honest feedback and even invite him to call you on it if you slip and say something intolerant of others.

3. Allow him to spend a lot of time online.

While there are certainly aspects of social media that can foster tolerance, spending long hours online in isolation tends to do the opposite. Our kids (and we) gravitate toward echo chambers that simply reinforce what we already believe is true. Unfortunately, those spaces can quickly become rife with exaggerations and downright lies about those who hold different opinions. This feeds the tendency to dismiss and even dehumanize those who disagree with us, creating a deep intolerance of others.

So what’s the remedy to the intolerance-breeding ground of social media? For one, be aware of your teen’s social media activity–the groups he’s in, the people he follows, and what posts he likes. Second, get him off the phone and into an in-person activity. Real-life interactions can foster empathy, understanding, and tolerance as he engages with different people, especially those with whom he disagrees. Consider youth sports, a youth group, or serving with a nonprofit as easy and powerful ways to help him meet different types of people.

4. Shelter him.

It’s tempting to think the best way to take care of your teen is to make sure she doesn’t interact with “those people.” After all, if she’s always around people who think like you, then it’s more likely that she will too. However, it also creates a sense of distance between her and people who aren’t like her. This makes it difficult to empathize—or even be kind—when someone makes a different choice than you would. You assume everyone thinks like you, so obviously, they just don’t care about what is right. It’s nearly impossible to disagree respectfully with “those people.”

So how do you avoid sheltering your teen? Introduce her to different people and cultures. Take her on trips. Read books together and watch documentaries about people and places far away. Do everything you can to broaden her perspective so that she can grow in tolerance and understanding. This will take work and intention on your part, but it’s a critical step in moving towards tolerance.

5. Emphasize control.

According to Dr. Ilene Cohen, “[H]ate is frequently tied to issues of power or control.” And I believe this is because control and fear are linked together. For many of us, when we feel we are losing control, it creates fear, which leads to defensiveness and a fight-or-flight mentality, making enemies of anyone who disrupts the status quo. So, if we teach our kids that the way to feel safe in an environment is to control it, then any lack of control will initiate fear and intolerance.

So how do we help our kids avoid trying to control outcomes or others? Teach them to see that the only thing they can control is themselves. Don’t emphasize the need for a particular outcome as much as the need for them to become a particular type of person in the world–one who has empathy and understanding, speaks truth, but does so in love, and can disagree respectfully.

Sound off: What are other common ways we raise intolerant adults who aren’t able to disagree respectfully?

The post 5 Ways to Raise an Intolerant Adult appeared first on All Pro Dad.

In marriage, our thoughts matter just as much as our words. The All Pro Dad podcast explained how happy couples think differently from unhappy couples in Episode 70. Hurtful words don’t just slip out; they start in our minds long before they escape our lips. So controlling our thoughts is step one in preventing friction with our spouses. Anything that you would think but would never say about or to your spouse qualifies as a hurtful thought. The sobering truth is that we may have these thoughts quite often, but don’t realize the damage they can cause. Let’s work on that. Here are 5 thoughts that will hurt your marriage.

1. If he/she was just more ____, I’d be happier.

Early in my marriage, I’d get frustrated with my wife, Susan. She did a lot of things differently from me. That bugged me. For example, I was a neat freak, and she was not. I wanted her to be more like me, rather than trying to appreciate the unique person I’d married. She was set in her ways, but that wasn’t a bad thing.

Your spouse is someone for you to cherish and love, not fix, mold, or compare to someone or something else. Once you start wishing your spouse were different in some way, you’ve given yourself permission to think lowly of them, not highly. That’s a recipe for resentment. Healthy thoughts help us achieve more forgiveness in marriage.

2. He/she doesn’t do ____ enough.

It can be frustrating when what you think your spouse should be doing doesn’t match what he or she is actually doing. Too few chores? Not enough initiative in keeping to the family budget? Mismatched physical desires? All of these cause friction in marriage. But when you start thinking your spouse isn’t doing enough in your relationship, you’ve created a “me vs. you” dynamic. It invites you to believe you are the more dedicated partner. That may or may not be true.

Gratitude is the salve. Think of the things your spouse does that you appreciate. Tell them, and if you still feel like he or she is not pulling their share of the weight, find a time to discuss it. Don’t do it in the heat of the moment when you’re upset. Let them know you want to talk and be honest. We need more forgiveness in marriage, and gratitude is a good place to start.

3. Why isn’t he/she listening to me?

A co-worker of mine has a deal with his wife. She washes the dishes and sets them on the counter. He puts them back in the cabinet. It’s a way to split a household task that neither of them particularly likes. However, she has to remind him occasionally that he’s getting behind on his end of the chore. Recently, she asked him multiple times to put stuff away, but the dishes sat on the countertop, untouched for days.

It’d be easy for the wife to conclude that her husband isn’t listening. What is probably more accurate is that he isn’t responding the way she expected. Just because we aren’t getting the results we want doesn’t mean our spouse isn’t hearing us. It means people do things differently. Tasks get prioritized differently. In the case of my coworker, he’s been remodeling a bathroom in the house, so the dishes weren’t top of mind. Communication is key. Instead of thinking, “Why don’t they listen?” ask a better question: “Are you busy? Overworked? Distracted? How can I help you?” Discussing load distribution in your marriage offers much-needed perspective. Moms tend to carry a lot more than dads, so check in on each other. If you don’t, you’ll introduce those thoughts that hurt your marriage.

4. Why does he/she make me so angry?

Your brain is a tricky thing. It frequently reacts to perceived threats and, sometimes, constructs an emotional response based on perceived injustice. The result in both cases is a feeling of anger, but we didn’t arrive there the same way. Examining anger in a marriage context may look like this: Your spouse is late for dinner, and you get angry. There may be a legitimate reason, but the amygdala is already firing. Your anger bubbles up because things aren’t going to plan. You start thinking, “Why does he/she make me so angry?” In reality, traffic was just extra heavy today, and your spouse couldn’t help it.

There may be times when you think your spouse does something intentionally to anger you. But more often than not, that’s probably not their intention. Anger rises from conflict or unmet expectations, and usually those things are more circumstantial than purposeful. In the example of your spouse being late, maybe there is no solution today. But talking things through could lead your spouse to leave work 10 minutes earlier tomorrow. Your marriage will suffer when you pin your anger on a person (your spouse) rather than a problem. The target is wrong. Anger toward someone damages. Anger toward a problem gives us the opportunity to gang up on the issue and solve it together.

5. If he/she loved me, this wouldn’t be an issue.

You text your spouse around lunchtime and never hear back. You get home from work, and there are dirty dishes on the counter and dirtier clothes on the floor. You feel your frustration level rising. What’s going on? “If they loved me, wouldn’t they get all of these things done before I got home? Wouldn’t they give more effort, so I don’t feel as stressed when I walk through the door?”

Instead of thinking the worst about your spouse, survey the situation. Maybe work was crazy, so there was no time to text you back that day. Maybe the kids made the mess, and your spouse didn’t even realize it before you got home. You won’t know until you ask, so make time to connect with your spouse and talk through any problems. When we jump to conclusions, our negative feelings grow. Prioritize real conversations with your spouse, get on the same page, and be vulnerable so your thoughts don’t become hurtful or damaging words.

Sound off: How do your marriage expectations impact your thoughts?

The post 5 Thoughts That Will Hurt Your Marriage appeared first on All Pro Dad.