Dusty On Movies

The Cabining: A Conversation with the Stars and Director

2013-05-18T15:01:00.000-04:00

Melissa Mars as "Celeste"

A recently had a chance to chat with the directors and stars of upcoming horror/comedy "The Cabining". I've seen an unfinished version of the film and I think it's got a bright future. This is a very casual interview and I think my readers will enjoy it.

My subjects are: director/writer Steve Kopera, star Melissa Mars, star/producer Mike Kopera, and star Bo Keister.

I'd also suggest visiting "The Cabining's" YOUTUBE CHANNEL where you can find trailers and exclusive behind the scenes interviews.

For our screenwriters first: Where did the seeds for The Cabining begin? It seems like a cross between a buddy comedy and an Agatha Christie mystery. How would you describe it?

Steve Kopera
The idea began at DC Shorts Film Fest. Mike and I were there with another film of ours, and we befriended another filmmaker. We had just attended a seminar on low-budget filmmaking. I knew the rigors of low-budget filmmaking quite well and had sorta decided to never do it again. Yet, the presenter was pretty invigorating. So Mike, David (our friend), and I were chatting afterward, and we had this idea of a comic version of Friday the 13th.

Mike Kopera
This was September, 2011. (the DC shorts festival).

The Cabining looks pretty good for something "low-budget". How were you able to preserve quality while maintaining a workable budget?

Steve Kopera
We hired extremely talented people. And Mike is the best producer around.

Bo Keister
I second that, especially the first sentence.

Steve Kopera
Also, doing the festival rounds for a few years has introduced me to major talent. That would work for reasonable rates.

Mike Kopera
Oh, you guys. I think talented people were very attracted to the script, and we presented an opportunity to them to work on a professional project.

Steve Kopera
Anyhoo... I'd been trying to write horror for years, without much success. For the first time, I was actually inspired to write something. It happened pretty fast.

So is most of the cast people you've met before? Were there auditions for the lead roles?

Steve Kopera
Most of the key crew were people we knew. The cast were mostly new. Except for the lead. But the key was the DP, Jeffery Schultz. He led to more talent.

Mike Kopera
The cast was all new, really. I knew Angela, but she still auditioned for it.

My readers haven't seen the film yet, how much blood can they expect?

Mike Kopera
A tasteful amount I'd say. It's not a bloodbath film, but we have some pretty kick-ass SFX, impalement and what-not.

Steve Kopera
I'd say it's in line with Shaun of the Dead. It's a comedy first, horror second. There is blood, but it's not a splatterfest.

Yeah, I felt it was more in line with Roger Corman in terms of blood versus comedy.

Steve Kopera
Bo has also mentioned Scream as comparison in tone. I think that's pretty accurate.

Between takes at Shangri-La with Mark Rademacher as owner "Monroe"

The location is extremely important to this script. How many places were scouted, and how did you decide?

Steve Kopera
I scouted personally four houses. Perhaps more. I've forgotten exactly, but no doubt location scouting was a major ordeal. We needed a place that wasn't too far from civilization because we couldn't afford to cart people 1-2 hours each way. So we found a house near my parent's place in Boyne City, and my other brother Matt said, "Why don't you look for one even closer." So we asked around and discovered a house for sale that absolutely fit the bill. Right in the same neighborhood. The owner wasn't scared by the prospect of a movie crew, and everything fell into line.

Mike Kopera
Also, our production designer, Elyse Shapiro, did a heck of a job decorating the house--she found a handful of furniture and antique stores in northern Michigan who provided set decorations for us for an amazing price. I should also give a shout-out to my uncle, Mike Shell, who told us of the place. And Becky Voice, the realtor, who okayed the deal.

Since this is essentially a "buddy comedy", Mike and Bo, did you guys build chemistry off camera? Did you meet beforehand?

Mike Kopera
We skyped a handful of times, but didn't meet in person until a few days before the shoot. I picked him up from the Detroit airport and drove him straight to a Kroger to buy beer. So that's how we bonded. Bo, Steve and I spoke at least a couple times a week over the phone for a good month or two before the film.

Bo Keister
We talked on the phone, Skype, etc. But we hit it off from the beginning and it was like we'd known each other for years. We all just felt like old friends and believed wholeheartedly in the project

Steve Kopera
Yes, video chat was key. For both Bo and Melissa. Again, due to a killer producer.

Beer-drinker/actor Bo Keister as "Bruce"

I know Bo, beer's his primary payment for acting.

Steve Kopera
I think Bo polished off a case the first night.

Bo Keister
Beer? It's in my contract.

Melissa, how does a French singer end up in an american indie horror film? And after meeting Bo Keister, how bad did you miss John Travolta?

Bo Keister
HEY! I'm way hotter than Travolta. At least I think so. My mom says I am.

Melissa Mars
I'm a french singer and actress. I started as an actress before music.

Mike Kopera
Melissa submitted for the project through Actors’ Access, and when Ian Michaels (fellow producer) and I were looking through the submissions for "Celeste," we had no idea she was in France. So Melissa put herself on tape, and sent it over. She nailed it and Steve skyped with her the following day.

Melissa Mars
Yeah that's funny, they didnt know I was in France. They wanted me to show up the following day for auditioning and they didn't write in the breakdown that Celeste was French, but actually when I read the script I found out she was French! That's crazy how fast it went! I loved it! Bo was a kind of a reminder of Travolta.

Bo Keister
She was originally Hindu.

Mike Kopera
Lol Bo.

Luce Rains as the eccentric artist "Jasper"

The character of Jasper, based on a real person? A riff of some other character? I found him very interesting.

Steve Kopera
I think he's an amalgam of people I know at the University of Michigan. He's like a nutty professor with a mean streak. In fact, he could definitely work as faculty at UM. He'd fit right in.

Mike Kopera
Luce certainly brought his own sense of being to the role, made it his own. Originally, we were going to cast Jasper out of Michigan, find a local actor, but Ian got the script to Luce and he really wanted to do it!

Bo Keister
Luce was genius. Remind me to avoid UM. Psychos.

Melissa Mars
Luce and I had long night conversations while waiting at the house for our next shot. And he gave me a pendent of the angel of the actors that I kept as a key chain. This man is such a great actor and human being.

Steve Kopera
Dang, Luce just gave me a hearty handshake.

Mike Kopera
I'm still scared of Luce.

French horror has an international reputation. Having a French star, has there been international interest in the film?

Mike Kopera
I met with a few French distributors at AFM (American Film Market) in November, 2012 and they were all very curious. As soon as the film is complete, I'll start reaching out to int'l buyers and domestic distributors, using the contacts that Bo, Steve, and I have acquired in the past few years. We also plan to host a large screening in LA, to which we'll invite as many distributors and sales agents as possible, in addition to the cast and crew--to sort of drum up interest and excitement about the film.

Steve Kopera
The trailer has opened doors too. We're hoping to go traditional distribution route if possible.

Bo Keister
Of course, carrying a sign at AFM that read, "Who wants to see Melissa Mars NAKED?" helped out a lot.

Steve Kopera
Not as much as the "Who wants to see Bo Keister NAKED?" helped.

Bo Keister
The Japanese distributors were all over that one!

Mike Kopera as "Todd"

Having read the script, there's a lot of material that's improvised. Was that always the plan? What kind of improv background do you have?

Steve Kopera
Some actors improvised more than others. So it was more what the actors were comfortable with. If the improv added value, we kept it. With this cast, most of it was awesome.

Bo Keister
Well, if it wasn't the plan, it sure became the plan! Steve really let us own our characters. He gave me a huge amount of freedom to create and play, but would always reel me in if it wasn't what he wanted. But that was fairly rare. The road scene was so funny. I was sitting at the house and Mike comes in and says, "Want to go shoot some stuff?" From that point Jeff Schultz had his hands full!

Mike Kopera
The only scene I really got to improvise was the road scene with Bo, but that was one of the most fun days we had! I've done improv at The Groundlings here in LA, and also performed with a sketch comedy group called The Strait Jacket Society.

Melissa Mars
Well I had never thought before I would be able to improv in English. Especially in a comedy. But Bo inspired me I guess. And Steve was so open to the ideas. As long as I knew that I could throw ideas and they would be kept if they were good, I felt confident enough to improvise. For myself it was not really improv, but adding some ideas. And I loved that day when I'm drawing the dead body, and Bo and Mike were talking about smoking., feeling unconfortable about that first dead body, thinking about leaving Shangri-La, and inside of me, Celeste was like fighting to say something. I didn’t dare because it was at the end of the scene, and they were always cutting as they didnt know I wanted to improvise that line, so I went to see Steve and told him, “Ok, I (Celeste) am dying to say something, let me say it and then cut it if u don't need it.” I told him the sentence, "Poor Lacy, she died like a unicorn" and Steve then edited some scenes every night (morning actually after night shooting) and got us excited watching some footage. And when he edited that scene, and he kept that line, everybody was laughing and loved it. I must say, I was so happy! And I loved what Steve said to me about it.

What's it like working together as siblings?

Bo Keister
They compliment each other, perfectly.

Steve Kopera
Aww, Bo. It's actually been quite fun. We have a good relationship, and I think I understand what Mike wants to achieve as an actor. We've had each others best interest in mind, I think. That certainly helps.

Mike Kopera
Is there a group hug emoticon? I think we both know each others' strengths and weaknesses and try to balance each other out.

Again, my audience will know pretty much nothing but the trailer. Maybe the actors could give us a brief character bio and say a little about what they added to their character. And for Steve, maybe you could run down the plot a bit, no spoilers necessary.

Steve Kopera
Two hack screenwriters get one last shot at success thanks to Todd's wealthy stepdad, Sarge. If they pen a worthy horror script, Sarge will fund the entire project. They head to an artist's retreat to write in private, but they encounter much more than just inspiration.

Mike Kopera
Todd, he's a struggling writer in LA who desperately wants to pen a good script.

Bo Keister
Bruce is a true narcissist. He's a completely lazy freeloader, but there's a lovable quality about him. He really lives by the seat of his pants, and likes it that way. In his mind, everything will come together in the end, so just go with it!

Mike Kopera
I think Bruce and Todd have been friends for a really long time. From childhood or earlier, and just decided to live together upon moving to LA. And, from there, Bruce decided he’d become Todd's writing partner.

Steve Kopera
I always saw them as college roomates.

Melissa Mars
Celeste is a french artist, from wealthy parents. She loves wine (I don't) has style, is sexy and loves to be the center of attraction, she's pretty fascinated and cold face to death. After I read the script, I skyped with Steve and made some suggestions he really was receptive to. My principal concern was to be seen as a real artist, doing my art. So we found the right moments for me to be seen drawing or sculpting. I asked also for some past foundation for my character, to understand why she/I react that way when faced with death. And Steve made me the happiest when he rewrote a scene in the woods where I talk about my first experience with death. That scene is "deep" but it always ends up funny thanks to Bo/Bruce's reactions and it gives so many reliefs (hope it's the right word) to that moment.

You left out flexible Melissa. Very, very flexible Celeste is...

Steve Kopera
That was fun. "How should I stretch?" "Uh... like this..."

Melissa Mars
Yeah!! You asked me to stretch on the breakfast table!

Bo Keister
I forgot all about the Belgian waffles.

Melissa Mars
LOL!!!

Steve Kopera
Aw, man, I miss you guys!!!

Mike Kopera
Bo would sprinkle Cheerios on his Belgian waffles. Interesting culinary choice.

Bo Keister
It was delicious

Now this is journalism.

Mike Kopera
There's one moment in the film where I actually look down and give you a look about it. Not sure if it made the cut or not.

Bo Keister
I remember that! Too funny!

Angela Relucio as "Mindy"

They say every piece of art is autobiographical in some way, does this hold true for “The Cabining?”

Steve Kopera
Oh yeah. A writer trying to make it? Rings pretty true. Though, to be honest, I probably identify most with the Mindy character. With Mindy, there was an element of sarcasm and disenchantment with the norm. She wasn't afraid to lash out at people when she felt they were in the wrong. And she was a bit awkward when flirting. I think there's elements of me in all that.

Bo Keister
And Steve wore a skirt while he was writing the script, so there's that...

Mike Kopera
That was one of Steve's major notes for Angela and me during the rehearsals--BE MORE AWKWARD! I've been an actor in LA for 8 years now, so I could bring that hunger to "make it" to the role pretty easily.

Bo Keister
I've known many people like Bruce in my life, and I have the same type of laid back attitude too, so I guess there's part of me in him.

I'd agree with that Bo, very little hesitation in you or your character.

Bo Keister
Yeah, I had a good bead on him. From the second I read the script I wanted to play him.

I've thought about the fact that the set is so tight that “The Cabining” could work as a stage play. Ever been considered?

Steve Kopera
Nice. More royalties for Dusty.

Bo Keister
The Cabining: THE MUSICAL!!!

Blogging is lucrative. I've made $50 in just over 2 years.

Steve Kopera
Sounds about what I make as a director.

Mike Kopera
lol

Anything else you guys were hoping to address?

Steve Kopera
Original music is gonna be awesome. Getting contributions from our very own Melissa Mars and Steve Sholtes.

Melissa Mars
Just that first Steve Sholtes is doing an amazing job! I love his sounds! They add a lot to the atmosphere. And I'm happy that Steve K. and Steve S. opened the team and welcomed me to collaborate on some music, especially the end credit song. By the way, Steve Sholtes and I teamed and worked on some other songs too. We really work well together.

Steve Kopera
Yes, the end credits song is gonna rock. Nobody has heard it yet but Mel and I, you guys will dig.

So we can expect a Melissa Mars exclusive on the soundtrack?

Melissa Mars
Yeah!

I don't know what else I have to ask. It's your work. Anything you want to make sure people know about it?

Melissa Mars
I would like to say I fell in love with Michigan. And I would like to suggest to everyone to go there on holidays end of September / start of October to see the beauty of it. And the whole crew and cast, there was so much love. You can't understand it when you see the others talk about it, until you experience it. We all wanted to bring our best to make a great movie

Mike Kopera
Ha! I was going to say something similar! I think the film really showcases the beauty of northern Michigan, and our experience shooting up there was an amazing one.

Bo Keister
Yes! Love Michigan! Prepare for the sequel! In Europe! THE EUROPEING!!! I just want to add that this is really what happens when you have an amazing crew supporting a film. Everyone did an outstanding job. Jeff Schultz, Sam Sage, the entire camera crew, everyone.

Clockwork Phoenix 4 (2013)

2013-05-14T21:20:00.000-04:00

Editor: Mike Allen

4 Stars (out of 4)

Order the book HERE.

Clockwork Phoenix 4 takes the reader on a journey through the outer reaches of imagination. You'll find threads loosely tying these stories together, not in plot but theme. That's not an accident. Editor Mike Allen has a fascination with the abstract notion of celestial clockwork. In one way or the other, you'll see that fascination manifested in each of the stories he's chosen.

Even without the author bios you'll recognize many of the authors. If you read the major markets like Analog, Asimovs, Clarkesworld, Strange Horizons and so on, you've probably ran across many of these authors before.

I wrote an comprehensive story by story breakdown of this book a few months ago. Each review was written directly after reading the short story. Unfortunately my hard drive passed on during that time and the review was lost. I've been mourning it's passing for months now and I'm finally ready to move on and give Clockwork Phoenix 4 it's proper due.

Our Lady of the Thyacines
by Yves Menard

This was a wise first choice for the anthology. It follows the story of a girl who's the last of her kind. She lives in a mysterious and magical place where her only conversation takes place with nameless "Lady". At first the Lady seems benevolent, but as more facts are revealed her nature is called into question.

I say this is a good first choice because it leaves so much to conjecture. Trust me, you're gonna want the mental warm up before diving into the rest of these tales.

The Canal Barge Magician's Number Nine Daughter
by Ian McHugh

This one didn't resonate with me. It follows a little girl with magic in her veins who's enslaved by her evil father on a barge. His first eight daughters are withered fetuses that hang from his belt. Yeah, I know, gross. There's nothing particularly wrong with the piece, but I felt it stretched itself thin with weirdness. Or maybe it just stretched me thin. That said, there's going to be readers who fall in love with the story. It's well written with a sympathetic protagonist. The presence of a cute little golem will help win some fans also.

On the Leitmotif of the Trickster Constellation in Northern Hemispheric Star Charts, Post Apocalypse
by Nicole Kornher-Stace

I know what you're thinking, the title isn't long enough. Even so, this story is a highlight of the anthology in my opinion. It's oddly formatted. We switch back and forth between academic essays describing the history of fictional constellations (at least I think they're fictional) and the characters represented in those constellations. It's alarmingly effective. The author is turning this idea into a novel and you can bet that I'll be one of the first to buy it. I'll read anything that involves a little girl fighting to the death for a chance to lure ghosts with salt-licks.

Beach Bum and the Drowned Girl
by Richard Parks

Here's an odd little story. The Drowned Girl isn't exactly what you might expect. She's drowned but not dead, and not a ghost. She specializes in drifting around the ocean and spooking sunbathers. Eventually she meets a Beach Bum with a similar history. He's not really a beach bum, but some elemental representation of one. The two meet after endless years of practicing their crafts and proceed to have interesting existential conversations. Though it's morbid and sometimes confusing, it's also sweet and romantic. It definitely fits in such an imaginative anthology. A good story by any measure.

Trap-Weed
by Gemma Files

Selkies rarely pop-up anywhere but speculative short stories. There are several variations. Gemma Files' selkie is a seal who can remove his skin to walk on land and replace it to return to the ocean. Our selkie protagonist chooses to leave the violent culture of his kin but ends up being caught by a pirate. Not just any pirate, this one specializes in imprisoning supernatural creatures. To achieve mutiny, he'll have to work together with a natural enemy.

Gemma Files' work speaks for itself. She's a succesful writer and Trap-Weed will show you why.

Icicle
by Yukimi Ogawa

A frequent bio of Yukimi Ogawa, "Yukimi Ogawa lives in a small town in Tokyo, where she writes in English but never speaks the language. She still wonders why it works that way."

I wonder the same thing, because she writes in English like a champ. The story follows a girl who's half ice-spirit and half-human. She's been raised in the mountains by her mother, her human father appears to be a deadbeat dad. She's not happy with just the mountains though, and sets off on a journey that will reveal the truth about her heritage. Some of the names are Asian-sounding but not difficult on the American tongue. The most Asian aspects of the story are the folkloric roots, spirits living in all sorts of natural phenomena. If you're a fan of Hayao Miyazaki you'll probably enjoy this story. I am, and I did.

Lesser Creek: A Love Story, A Ghost Story
by A.C. Wise

A dead boy and a dead girl continue their summer tradition of competition. Competing to collect souls, that is. This story is haunting and clever, but I have to admit that it can get confusing. Or maybe it's just the ethereal nature of the characters. They are ghosts, but maybe not well-defined ghosts. As if maybe they are the spirits of all those to die in town. At least that was my take. It's another one of those stories that will require the reader to fill in the gaps. The prose is beautiful and complex with detailed descriptions. It's worth any amount of head-scratching.

What Still Abides
by Marie Brennan

Brush up on your Anglo-Saxon vocabulary for What Still Abides. Once you've done that you'll be ready to enjoy this story about a man who won't stay buried. This is a dark and scary story, brilliantly told. No matter how many times they bury the man, he's back the next day. As a physical threat he's not much, always still, always watching. But no one can rest with such a presence lurking nearby. The ending took me by surprise, but it's not illogical. You might find yourself gripping the book cover a little tighter while reading this one.

The Wanderer King
by Alisa Alering

If not for the dark, brooding, bloody nature of this story, The Wanderer King would feel a bit like C.S. Lewis. Somehow, the people of earth have fallen into a place of war. Maybe it's a different dimension, or perhaps a literal collapse, but the world is not a place for kids. But it's kids that we're presented with. An older girl who's protective of a younger friend. The youngest is full of hope in spite of her surroundings. When they find a bizarre crown that has powers when it meets the right head, there may finally be a chance of ascending to the upper world. Whether that head is on a living body is of no consequence. The story is cute, yet harrowing. Another nice choice for the anthology.

A Little of the Night (Ein Bisschen Nacht)
by Tanith Lee

To say Tanith Lee is a successful author is like saying Bill Gates had some success with computers. Lee has published upwards of 70 novels and 250 short stories. Unfortunately, this is another story that didn't resonate with me. The story follows a soldier who deserts his unit after murdering a ranking officer. After battling through a haunted forest he ends up taking refuge in a mysterious mansion. The mansion actually ends up being more haunted than the woods and doesn't want to let the soldier leave.

It's not the plot I took issue with here, I just didn't enjoy the writing. Good writing is often described as lyrical and I didn't feel that quality in this piece. Then again, I'm a nobody compared to Tanith Lee, so take my criticism with a grain of salt. I'll also say that this is a long piece, the longest in the book. That may have influenced my taste for the story.

I Come From A Dark Universe
by Cat Rambo

Cat Rambo's story is enormous for a short story. There's various languages, alien species and even an alternate universe. A girl from that alternate "dark" universe finds herself on another universe's spaceport after a catastrophic event. She's found and cared for by the madam of a local brothel. Once she's comfortable in her new surroundings she begins to tell her dark and bizarre tale. There's also a very bizarre romantic angle to the story. Cat Rambo is revered by many of her peers and is constantly putting out excellent work. This is another one of her must-read stories.

Happy Hour at the Tooth and Claw
by Shira Lipkin

One of my favorites, Shira Lipkin's story follows a playful witch who flips through dimensions like they're TV stations. Along the way she develops a relationship with a bar-keeping angel and a mysterious courtesan. She also casts a spell of love between a female werewolf and female vampire, who of course have all sorts of compatibility issues but love each other nonetheless. It's a story with heart, literally. Our witch has hidden her heart to increase her power, but now she's on a quest to find the pieces she's hidden throughout the multiverse. This is a truly fun story. There's a gimmick with the text alignment that adds to the fun. I'll let you discover it for yourself. I'm a huge fan of this story.

Lilo Is
Corinne Duyvis

It's hard to believe that a spider-demon could lead to such heartwarming prose, but Duyvis makes that happen. Lilo is the offspring of a human mother and spider-demon father. The story is really the chronicles of raising such a child and the sacrifice that it takes. Spider-demons aren't the type to settle down so all of that sacrifice belongs to the mother. Lilo could be any special needs child, but being part spider-demon makes it a lot more interesting for the reader. This is a sentimental story that deserves all the praise I expect it will get.

Selected Program Notes from the Retrospective Exhibition of Theresa Rosenberg Latimer
by Kenneth Schneyer

The format of Schneyer's story bears a striking resemblance to Nicole Kornher-Stace's story earlier in the book, and not just in the length of its title. I've asked though, and the resemblance is coincidental.

Instead of constellations, Schneyer offers us some essays on a fictional art gallery. The paintings are presented in chronological order and slowly a life of intrigue and mystery is revealed, supernaturally intriguing. The writer of these program notes doesn't make the obvious connections that the reader does and it leads to some comical passages. The other thing it shares with Stace's work is its sheer brilliance.

Three Times
by Camille Alexa

Interestingly, this story is the third in this anthology that uses a drowning victim as a protagonist. That has nothing to do with the title though. The drowning victim this time has actually been murdered. During the time it takes him die he reveals to us his life story, starting with his celestial origins. At its core, this is a story about love drawing two entities together despite the obstacles in their way. The descriptions here are incredibly visual. My admiration of the story stems mostly from its prose.

The Bees Her Heart, The Hive Her Belly
by Benjanun Sriduangkaew

There's no way I can summarize this story without leaving you confused. Likewise, the story left me confused. There's so many bizarre speculative elements; digital memories, animal-human integration, mind-networking. I just couldn't keep up. It doesn't help that all the proper nouns are over-complicated, but that is likely influenced by Sriduankaew's Thai heritage. If you can keep up, the story is well-written. Plus, it's part of a universe that she's expanding on. Another installment can be found at Clarkesworld.

The Old Woman With No Teeth
by Patricia Russo

This is the most humorous installment in Clockwork Phoenix 4 and one of my favorites. An old lady has many bizarre myths about her that circulate among the locals. She hires a ghost writer to tell the accurate versions of her story and that's who's perspective the story is told from. The process isn't without conflict, whenever the writer oversteps he's put quickly put back in his place by the old lady. The plot is okay, but the style makes it work. I'll share an excerpt so you can see how the back and forth works:

Another common story about The Old Woman With No Teeth is that she once drank the river on a bet, and then spewed it out again after she caught a cold, which is why all the fish in the river taste of phlegm, no matter how one prepares them—fried, baked, boiled, poached, in hundred-herb sauce—
“You ragged little ragger, stop wittering about fish recipes. Besides, the fish always tasted like that. I had nothing to do with it. People always blame me for everything.”

The History of Soul 2065
by Barbara Krasnoff

A group of people attending a Passover seder begin a conversation of religious nature. One of them proposes that they are drawn together because they all share the same soul, one that has been fractured and will only be made whole again when they "find each other". A ritual begins in jest that day, but is repeated throughout the years nonetheless. The story spans the entire lifetime of a child attending that initial ritual. It's a solemn piece that reflects on the nature of life and death. It's solid work and I believe it achieves its goal.

If you've made it through the entire review then you get an A+ !! Congrats.

The Evolution of DustyOnMovies

2013-05-14T15:13:00.001-04:00

About a year ago I walked into this little brick building about five miles from my home. The sign on the front read Public Library. When I walked through the doors there were hundreds of shelves full of little rectangular things with interesting titles on them. Naturally I went to the person in charge and asked"What kind of device to I need to play these movies?" She informed that they weren't movies, but books. So I said, "What kind of device do I need to play these books?" To my dismay, the lady shook her head and walked away.

Fine, I thought. I'll just go check them out myself. So I opened the case expecting to find some sort of optical disc, instead there were a bunch of sheets of paper bound together and printed with words. They were sort of like those things that you read while waiting in a doctor's office or while taking a poop, only thicker and with harder words.

So I took one of these "books" to the counter and asked the lady how much it would cost. It was FREE! All I had to do is sign up for a free membership and I could hang on to it for a few weeks. Obviously, this "library" was a life-changing innovation that should have been around years ago.

To get to the point, I've decided to adapt DustyOnMovies to include reviews/thoughts/interviews about these bizarre objects called books. I'd like to change the name of the blog to DustyOnStuff but the current URL is pretty well established. I might, however, add a n' stuff to the end of my logo.

The first of these reviews will be of "Clockwork Phoenix 4" an anthology of bizarre speculative fiction. So you have that to look forward to readers.

During my research I also discovered these books come in electronic formats via digital transfers. I might post about those technological marvels from time-to-time as well.

Superman: Unbound (2013)

2013-05-09T17:36:00.000-04:00

Directed by James Tucker

Starring Matt Bomer and John Noble

Runtime 75min. - Rated PG13

3.5 Stars (out of 4)

Available now on VUDU and Amazon Instant.

This ain't the kind of cartoon your kids watch on Saturday mornings.

"Superman: Unbound" took a little getting used to for me. For starters, I've watched every feature-length animated Superman movie and recently finished the animated series "Justice League Unlimited". So I have a certain idea of how Superman should be drawn. It's narrow-minded and unfair, I admit. The animation of "Superman: Unbound" is a pretty big departure from the D.C. Animated Universe. The characters have slender faces with less jawline than I'm used to. Also, when Kal-El changes back into a mild-mannered reporter his voice changes drastically. This is the first Superman since Christopher Reeve to make his secret identity believable. The change in voice was so major that I waited for the credits to who the other voice actor was. There was no other voice actor, just one talented guy named Matt Bomer.

Once I was adjusted to the style I was actually quite pleased with the animation. I especially liked the use of freeze frames during action sequences that mimicked comic book panels. The same traits that first distracted me about Superman actually proved a great success with the female characters. The feminity of Supergirl and Lois Lane really shined in the style. Don't worry, they still manage to be tough and sassy.

Hello ladies.

This incarnation of Brainiac is impressive. He roams the galaxy in a massive ship looking for inhabitated planets and sends out robots to suck knowledge from the inhabitant's brains. The methodology is questionable. All we see from the robots is spiked tentacles shooting through people's mouths and out the back of their skulls. How they harvest information from this process is left unexplained. When the robots are done, Brainiac shrinks the cities down and stores them on his ship. The rest of the planet is destroyed. If you're a fan of Galactus from Marvel Comics, you'll probably like this version of Brainiac.

I really love this movie and may watch it again soon. I'd count it up there with "Justice League: The New Frontier" and "Superman: Doomsday" for the best DC animated movies. One minor issue I had was the way Brainiac is defeated. He's such an impressive villain that I found his weakness sort of dumb. Plus, it's poorly explained. The term entropy comes to mind but the writers never bothered to use that term. That's all I'll say about the topic as not to spoil it. It's an easily overlooked flaw.

You probably shouldn't watch this with kids younger than teens. I'm not one to give parenting advice, but I'm glad my 8 year-old wasn't home when I watched it.

Sirius (2013)

2013-04-23T16:52:00.000-04:00

As some of you know, I have a deep interest in skepticism. I follow loads of skeptic related blogs and websites such as Randi.org, quackwatch.com, sciencebasedmedicine.org, michaelshermer.com, whatstheharm.net and when I'm not devouring fiction novels my reading involves such authors as James Randi, Michael Shermer, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris and Richard Wiseman. I even wrote a couple of skeptic-themed movie reviews for the JREF such as this review for "Resurrect Dead".

This isn't about me though. Author, skeptic and noted UFOlogist (the real kind) Robert Sheaffer recently posted a movie review over on his blog Bad UFOs. The film in question is called "Sirius" and is a pet project of pseudoscientist Dr. Steven Greer. It gained some public spotlight by promising free energy, a concept that physicists agree is impossible, and the corpse of an extraterrestrial being.

Mr. Sheaffer gave me permission to share his review with my audience but I don't want to totally reprint the thing. Instead, let me offer some of the key points of his review and interject a few thoughts of my own. If you want to read his full article CLICK HERE. I'd also suggest perusing the site for other Sirius-related articles.

"Most people don't know what a Dead Man Trigger is." Very few people need one. But Greer has one - if the Conspiracy rubs him out, lots of sensitive documents get sent out to influential people. Excuse me while I barf - If Greer actually had any documents as hot as all that, he would have given them to the press long ago.

This is the classic paranoid behavior of a conspiracy theorist and/or a liar. Real information would be insanely profitable. In this field, bluffing means you aren't holding any cards.

There is no time (or need) for exposition, or analysis. Every case, and every claim, is apparently completely solid and needs no further explanation or proof. The "organization" of the film was such that one could have taken almost any segment of it, and switched it with any other, and the change would scarcely be noticed.

Mr. Sheaffer shows knowledge of filmmaking here. Even in documentaries its necessary to maintain a narrative. It also helps if your outrageous claims have evidence. The crazier the claim, the more evidence required.

These supposed "inventors," plus the ET technology, offers us unlimited Free Energy, but a conspiracy by those Greer calls the "Petro-fascists" keeps us using coal, oil, and nuclear power. Part of the Conspiracy is to keep us distracted by other things. Even Honey Boo-Boo is depicted as part of the Conspiracy to keep us distracted from ET truths.

In fairness, Honey Boo-Boo may be part of some sinister corporate cover-up, but so-called "free energy" would be hugely profitable to those supposed "petro-fascists" accused of hiding it.

I found interesting the part about CSETI's CE5 training session, "human-initiated contact," which involves, among other things, meditation and remote viewing. They go into the desert or some other remote place, and shine a flashlight or laser at any light they see in the sky. If it appears to flicker back, that counts as an instance of interstellar communication. Many of the ET craft are "trans-dimensional," and thus are not visible to the human eye. However, they can be seen using night-vision equipment, which apparently has the capability to make trans-dimensional things visible.

This is a very telling paragraph. Using one made-up science to verify another is a staple among UFO nuts.

Sorry Mr. Greer, it's not an alien.

So, supposedly the little critter is a human child, at least 6 years old, and only six inches long. This sounds almost as implausible as an ET. I am wondering what precautions have been taken against deliberate DNA contamination? In the case of the Metepec, Mexico humanoid that was promoted by Jaime Maussan, the hoaxer Urso Moreno Ruiz confessed, "It’s just the corpse of a skinned squirrel-monkey."

This is the kind of thing that makes people like Sheaffer so invaluable. The audience that watches a film like "Sirius" is unlikely to have heard about a debunked case in Metepec, Mexico. The skeptic community acts like a watchdog and they know when they've seen the same trick twice. Even if the documentary is right, it's still not an alien. Though, it would take a team of impartial scientists to get any real answers. Folks like Greer don't like real answers so I doubt that specimen will ever make it to a scientist who isn't hand-picked by the owner.

In the end, no halfway intelligent person will be swayed by this film. The only people who will be impressed will be those who breathlessly await each new episode of Ancient Aliens on the History Channel.

Actually, it's amazing to me how many halfway intelligent people are swayed by this kind of crap. Logic and reasoning is something that our public schools need to put an emphasis on. Skepticism shouldn't be a movement, it should be the norm.

Early Favorite for Best Picture Oscar

2013-04-22T17:53:00.000-04:00

Fundraising Campaigns supported by DustyOnMovies

2013-04-21T15:34:00.000-04:00

Details

"Truth or Dare" is a horror film directed by and starring Jessica Cameron. This will be her directorial debut.

Why I'm Supporting

Well, I like the premise and always enjoy a good horror film. Jessica Cameron has been acting for a while and I love seeing someone who loves their craft enough to try directing. It also doesn't hurt that she's so damn pretty.

CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT "TRUTH OR DARE"

Not associated with the book, but cool pic.

Details

"Neverland's Library" is a sci-fi short story anthology with the theme of rediscovery.

Why I'm Supporting

Aside from watching films I'm both a sci-fi fan and aspiring writer. I've been writing short sci-fi for a while now but have yet to sell anything. The two blogs involved with this project are A Daily Dose of R&R and The Arched Doorway. Both of these folks know their business as evidenced by the quality of the confirmed contributors on their campaign page. Plus the R&R blog is written by a local (to me), and that means something.

CLICK HERE TO SUPPORT NEVERLAND'S LIBRARY ANTHOLOGY

Details
This sci-fi anthology is done with fundraising and is now for sale.

Why I Supported
The editor of this anthology has a proven track record. Plus, a friend of mine has a story appearing in this book.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE A COPY OF SOLARIS RISING 2: THE NEW SOLARIS BOOK OF SCIENCE FICTION

Details
Another great sci-fi anthology. Edited by the same friend mentioned above.

Why I Supported
I didn't. I totally missed the boat on this campaign. However, I've sat down with the editor and discussed his visions for the book. His selections are reflections of his own tastes and themes. Also, he gave me an advanced review copy. I haven't reviewed it yet (will soon). I have read it though, and it's absolutely worth the price. There's some true brain-bogglers in this one.

CLICK HERE TO PRE-ORDER CLOCKWORK PHOENIX 4

It's in the Blood (2012)

2013-04-20T22:09:00.000-04:00

Directed by Scooter Downey

Written by Downey and Sean Elliot

Starring Elliot and Lance Henriksen

Runtime 81min. - Not Rated (R-ish)

3 Stars (out of 4)

Now available on Amazon Instant and Vudu

Typically, when you rent a direct-to-video horror film with Lance Henriksen as its biggest star, you prepare yourself for mediocrity. That doesn't mean Henriksen's low-budget splatter flicks aren't fun, just not good. "It's in the Blood" completely turns that notion on its head.

*Warning, the following paragraph contains loads of spoilers.*
The film features a father and son who, after an injury, get stranded in the forest where they're forced to fend off some mysterious predatory monster. For most horror films that would be the entire plot but "It's in the Blood" offers exponentially more. In fact, the amount of plot is both its greatest strength and weakness. It's refreshing to see well-developed characters, but sometimes the audience is expected to take on too much information. The lead character is dealing with extreme tragedy. His girlfriend/adopted sister was raped and killed by a stalker. The stalker is the town's deputy sheriff. The lovers' father is the town sheriff. The town sheriff could have saved them but was drunk - he became an alcoholic after his wife's death. Is that enough? No, our lead character also has photographic memory that comes in handy at the most convenient times. Plus he deals with depression by cutting and has been avoiding his dad for over a year. So it only makes sense that they decide to go on a long hike together.

If you skipped that last paragraph, let me just say that our characters are dealing with a very thick back-story that would easily fuel an entire film of its own. So it seems sadistic to now have this father and son fending off a grotesque forest monster.

To their credit, the filmmakers manage to jam this massive story into a very short runtime with much success. The secrets unfold slowly with flashbacks that parallel the duo's present struggle. It's not a perfect film, but it's rare to see a legitimate horror film with substance. I almost never fall for jump-scares but "It's in the Blood" jolted me on numerous occasions and kept my muscles tense until the end.

A minor leg wound for Henriksen's character. Neosporin anyone?

Lance Henriksen isn't necessarily known for his terrific acting skills. Here he offers an incredibly dynamic performance. He has a real feel for this role that makes his lines sound authentic and natural. The chemistry between he and Sean Elliot, who plays his son, is spot on. I would have never imagined Henriksen in this role, and I certainly never have imagined he'd do it so much justice.

Horror fans love finding a hidden gem. It makes all those eye-bleeding hours of watching awful films worth it. "It's in the Blood" is that hidden gem.

The Host (2013)

2013-04-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

Directed by Andrew Niccol

Based on the book by Stephanie Meyer

Starring Saoirse Ronan

Runtime 125min. - Rated PG-13

1.5 Stars (out of 4)

The idea of having two minds in one head has fueled countless sci-fi movie plots. Many of those films were low-budget horror and/or comedy. With "The Host", Stephanie Meyer has shown why the premise doesn't belong in a big budget film, at least not in one geared towards tween romance.

The plot revolves around an alien race that appear as shiny blue critters that look like they came from a deep sea documentary. These critters are then placed into the brain of humans where they take over the body and have access to the human's memories. But when one of these things is put into our resistant hero Melanie, it finds out humans won't go down easy.

To me, the entire setup presents a problem. Maybe this is addressed in the book, or maybe I missed it in the film, but how did this invasion start? It apparently takes a surgeon with other-worldly medicine to implant a critter into a human, yet the critters have absolutely no physical skills of their own. They travel from planet to planet in little chrome pods until they're opened and implanted by one of their kin. So how did the first one take place? Some human found a little pod and opened it, saw a shiny blue critter and thought, "hey, it'd be cool if I put this in my brain.", and then he did surgery on himself? Seems unlikely. Maybe they'll address this chicken and egg issue in the sequels, as if I care.

There's some really nice visual effects and a few cool sci-fi elements in the film. The human survivors live in an series of beautiful canyons and caves with underground water sources. There's a field of wheat that's grown with a group of mirrors that amplify sun-light coming from a small hole in the cave ceiling. Also, the aliens apparently have a real affection for chrome. All of their government-issued vehicles are covered in the stuff. This brings up another question. The aliens claim to be completely honest; no lying, no violence, no crime. So why does their government have such well-trained law enforcement?

The few good things I mentioned in the last paragraph are only briefly featured. It's the awful romance angle that gets all the screen time. Here's how it works. Two girls inhabiting the same body are attracted to two different guys. This means the alien in control of the body is constantly hearing objections from her brain buddy. "Hey don't kiss that guy. He's not my boyfriend!" and then, "Hey don't kiss that guy. He's my boyfriend!" and so on. The gimmick tires out quick. Bella, Jacob, and Edward are not impressed.

As seen in "Hanna", Saoirse Ronan is a brilliant actress. I look forward to watching her career explode. "The Host" however, is a total waste of her talents and beauty.I never tired of glimpsing her glowing visage on screen, thus one-half star has been added to my rating for pure hotness.

The two voices in one head concept should remain in b-movies. While "The Host" may offer some unintentional laughs, I'd suggest you see the comedies "Man with the Screaming Brain" and "The Man with Two Brains" to fully enjoy the schlocky potential of the gimmick.

Oz The Great and Powerful (2013)

2013-04-13T17:56:00.001-04:00

Directed by Sam Raimi

Starring Mila Kunis and James Franco

Runtime 130min. - Rated PG

3.5 Stars (out of 4)

"Oz the Great and Powerful" is "Army of Darkness". Let me make my case in the form of a synopsis.

A man gets sent to a faraway place where he is claimed to be a prophesied "chosen one". He pretends to have great power to exploit the locals but tries to ditch his responsibilities when things get dangerous. Later he redeems himself by leading the people to freedom from an evil force. He doesn't have a real army so he uses his knowledge of technology to outsmart his enemy.

So tell me, is that Ash or Oz?

Then there's the fact that both films are directed by Sam Raimi. Like in AOD Raimi uses his beloved Three Stoogies-style physical comedy. In the beginning of Oz's trip spikes poke through the hot-air baloon's basket and nearly poke him in the eyes. If seeing that doesn't invoke the memory of Ash doing battle with eye-poking underground skeletons then you probably have never seen AOD.

There's simply nothing wrong with "Oz". James Franco is his usual charming self and all three of the witches are gorgeous. Even when Mila Kunis is covered in green make-up she's beautiful. The characters are all wonderful and unique. I especially enjoyed China Girl, a china doll that Oz glues back together early on. Her personality is unforgettable.

Stil hot, but a prime candidate for a paper bag.

Oz as a landscape, is among the most colorful you'll see. It was a wise move to start the movie in a black and white 4:3 aspect ratio and later make the switch to widescreen color. Not only is it a fine ode to the original film, but it really makes you appreciate the super-saturated palette of Oz.

My sole gripe with the film is it's blatant exploitation of 3D. I saw it in 2D, so having objects constantly flying at the camera was a little annoying. I would have found it no less annoying in 3D. It's my opinion that 3D should be used to augment rather than exploit. If the scene doesn't hold up in 2D it shouldn't be used at all. That's probably why I see so few films in 3D. That and the crippling migraines it gives me.

On the whole, "Oz" was a worthy theater experience. I attended with my 8 year-old son who had no complaints. Family films are often a misnomer. "Oz" is one that both parents and children can enjoy.

Evil Dead (2013)

2013-04-13T17:15:00.001-04:00

Directed by Fede Alvarez

Starring Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez and Lou Taylor Pucci

Runtime 91min. - Rated R

3 Stars (out of 4)

I saw this film with Mike Allen and Shalon Hurlbert who will be discussing it on an upcoming episode of "Tales To Terrify", a popular podcast from the guys behind StarShipSofa. I expect they'll have a comical, well-informed take on the movie. It was nice doing something nerdy around other nerds, even though my trivial knowledge isn't nearly as impressive in their presence.

I don't usually review current theatrical releases, but so much hyperbole is being thrown at the "Evil Dead" remake that I just can't resist.

Almost everything good about the new "Evil Dead" was copied directly from the original. The crazy demon voices, the chainsaw, the gore, even the damn Plymouth makes an appearance. The cabin looks like an exact replica from the 1981 classic and there's even a few scenes that use the same camera techniques. If you stripped away all the homages/rip-offs there wouldn't be much footage left.

I'm going to spend no time on the plot. Instead, here are some stupid things from the movie:

The girl-gone-insane is left alone in a room with a shotgun.
A water heater is so effective that it can boil away skin.
A gas can is detonated by shotgun, offending Mythbusters fans everywhere.
A beautiful girl takes a fully-clothed shower in a Rated R horror movie. (I checked, she's over 18)
Some sort of evil-possessed vine makes it's way into a girl's womb and is never mentioned again.
A character reads an evil spell out loud even though he's alone, thus setting off a local apocalypse.
That same character opened a book that was wrapped and sealed with barbed wire.
A girl cuts her arm off with an electric carving knife. (Do those go through bone?)
After crashing into a swamp, with water all the way over the hood, a character tries the ignition.
One character pours gas on herself, the floor, and her hands while trying to fuel a chainsaw.

There's plenty more that I missed.

On a more positive note, the whole thing manages to be one entertaining mess. Like characters in Japanese horror films our victims spray blood by the gallon. Really, they should consider some blood-pressure medication. The gore is as extreme as it gets. Our first taste comes when a girl pukes blood all over the head of another girl. I don't know what my friends must have thought, but I can't help but to laugh at the gore. It's always been my reaction. The only other option is disgust, but I've seen too many onscreen dismemberments for that.

I actually think the remake does justice to the original, it just doesn't offer anything new beyond the cast. A sequel is already in the works and I'll probably see it too. I don't expect it will be anything more than this one though.

Bee People (2012)

2013-04-13T15:38:00.000-04:00

Directed by David Knappe

Starring Gregg McMahan

Not Rated

Playing at the Grandin Film Festival in Roanoke, Va.

Visit the Official Website for more information.
And here's a trailer.

"Bee People" is the story of an alien invasion. It involves a race of creatures that closely resemble bees but can disguise themselves as people.

Okay, so maybe that was a Doctor Who episode.

The alien angle would have been entertaining, but probably have taken away from the documentary aspect of the film.

In reality, "Bee People" is the confession of love by some very enthusiastic bee keepers. The star of the film (other than the bees), is Gregg "The Bee Guru" McMahan. As an aside, everyone who owns a bee hive (not the hairdo) has a nickname: Bee Guru, Bee Medic, Tony "Bees" Planakis, The Bee Mistress, Johnny Bee Good, The Beeliever, Beedazzled, Beeatrice. I might have made up a few of those.

The Bee Guru and his sidekick Mr. Bill are rescuers and enthusiasts from Colorado. There have been numerous documentaries and news stories about the decline of the honey bee. What "Bee People" offers is a solution. Instead of promoting large corporate bee farms they encourage average citizens to become backyard beekeepers. The idea is that a backyard hive on every block will do more good for the environment than one large centralized farm. The maintenance is actually lower than you'd expect. Every couple of weeks you show up and make sure there's still a buzz and that's about it. There's the added benefit of honey collection which is not only delicious but actually pretty nutritional.

There's a fair number of interludes in the film that feature our bee lovers quizzing average citizens about honey bees. It's boring. I just don't care if that guy walking out of Ben & Jerry's knows the average lifespan of a bee. I think I would have rather seen the trivia simply pop up as a graphic between scenes.

Making up for those lulls are the scenes featuring bees. The Bee Guru, Bee Medic and Mr. Bill tackle a neighborhood barn that's inhabited by a feral swarm. There aim is to rescue as many bees as possible with a custom made shop-vac and relocate them to a man-made hive. Oddly enough, the owner of the barn had recently bought a hive for her backyard before finding out she had one all along.

The footage of the bee rescue is breathtaking. After a few boards are removed we're treated to a monstrous honey-dripping hive with over 40,000 bees. Most of those bees get vaccummed up into an aerated box and nearly 50 lbs. of honey is packaged up. Some of the comb is broken off gently to be placed in the man-made hive so the bees feel right at home.

When the rescue is complete the plans change. Instead of making a new hive for these bees they decide to "marry" them to an already existing hive. First, the new bees are covered in powdered sugar. And I do mean covered. The sugar is pressed in through a screen on the box and then shook up until the bees are solid white. Then the top is taken off and the box is placed on top of the hive. Without the sugar the bees would prefer to fight to the death. Instead, the desire to eat overcomes the defensive reaction and they start to accept each other, mostly. With or without sugar, when marrying bees it's best to be wearing a protective suit. It's never a consensual marriage.

This isn't the only bee involvement. We also meet a NYC cop who rescues bees and visit a natural hive built directly into stone in the Red Rock area of Nevada. Most bizarrely, the boys head down to install a hive behind a local bakery at the request of the owner. Seems natural since the baker can use honey in his goods, but not as natural considering the deadly bee allergy that baker possesses. I'm guessing he has epi-pens hidden everywhere.

One thing I didn't like about the film was the comedy. The Bee Guru and Mr. Bill try to pull off a Laurel & Hardy act but it seems forced. At times it feels like they're auditioning for a cheap reality show. I have no idea how the guys are off-camera, this may be the natural relationship, but it sure seemed like they were hamming it up. This isn't a major issue, but I think the message and the footage were good enough on their own.

"Bee People" is a refreshing documentary. Ninety-nine percent of documentaries present the viewer with a global crisis. Almost none of them offer a solution. "Bee People" is among the one percent that show people a simple way to make the world a better place.

Thale (2012)

2013-04-07T18:46:00.000-04:00

Written and directed by Aleksander Nordass

Starring Silje Reinåmo, Erlend Nervold & Jon Sigve Skard

Runtime 76 min. - Not Rated

In Norwegian with English subtitles

1 Star (out of 4)

Now available on Vudu and in select theaters

I rented "Thale" for a few reasons. Firstly, the trailer looked absolutely excellent. Secondly, I've been writing some sci-fi stories lately and this looked like a film that could provide some inspiration. Lastly, and this is probably the best reason, Scandinavia has been on a roll with films. "Troll Hunter", the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, "Klown", and "Rare Exports" are all prime examples of Scandinavian filmmaking. Oh and there's that guy....what was his name....Lars von Trier! And while I wasn't expecting a von-Trieresque masterpiece, I at least hoped this low-budget Norwegian sci-fi/horror film would continue the region's fine film-making tradition.

The film is 76 minutes long, but could use about 60 of those minutes trimmed away. Because at least an hour's worth of film is filled with expressionless characters staring at something or each other. It seems to be a fad these days. It's as if the entire indie community had an overreaction to the "Transformers" franchise. Instead of all that flashy action-filled story-less computer-generated mayhem, they've decided to do just the opposite by offering the viewer static shots that are beyond long enough for the audience to contemplate and dissect each tiny plot advancement. There's a word for that sort of thing; boring.

"Thale" opens with a pair of 20-something crime-scene cleaners, Leo and Elvis, scraping up the remains of some anonymous victim. At least one of them is, the other is puking into a bucket. What do we learn about these characters? Well, Elvis is bad at his job and Leo rarely speaks or even offers a facial expression. If they had both been killed violently I wouldn't have mourned the loss. Leo does reveal that he has cancer later on in the film, a fact that seems to have been added in post-production so the writers could have an example of their creation's healing powers.

This is the only pretty huldra in the movie.

Actually, the writers didn't create the monster in this story. A huldra is a tailed-woman of Norweigan folklore. The one found by Leo and Elvis is drop-dead gorgeous and often naked. The others in the film are CGI monsters that look like they were stolen from a SyFy original movie. The disparity in beauty is never explained. Or if it was I wasn't paying attention.

My wife and I took a 10 minute break at about the halfway point of "Thale". We used the intermission to grab a beverage and walk around a bit, just trying to get blood back to our brains. If we hadn't taken these measures I would have probably fell asleep and this review wouldn't exist. And since I wouldn't want to rob my adoring fans of another mediocre review of a terrible movie.......oh nevermind.

Two Thumbs Up

2013-04-07T18:45:00.002-04:00

I'm not gonna do it. I just can't. Every other blogger in the world has written about Roger Ebert and there's simply nothing I can add. All I can tell you is that he inspired me in ways that greatly surpass movie criticism. I'd suggest anyone who hasn't to read "Life Itself" and learn a little about the man.

There's a rembrances section on RogerEbert.com that's absolutely wonderful. So instead of wasting your time let me just redirect you there.

Séraphine (2008)

2013-03-19T19:18:00.000-04:00

Directed by Martin Provost

Starring Yolande Moreau and Ulrich Tukur

Runtime 125min. - Unrated

In French with English subtitles

4 Stars (out of 4)

Available on Netflix Instant or Vudu

I have a really hard time watching films about painters. It's not that I don't like art, it's just that I'm talentless in that arena. I wish I could draw a straight line but I simply cannot. I've tried. I bought brushes and paints and paper and watched Bob Ross more than any grown man should. When the magic of Bob Ross failed I realized I was completely hopeless.

My lack of talent creates another issue as well. It keeps me from sympathizing with the characters. It's harder to understand their struggles. I'm also frequently perplexed by what separates bad art from good art. I understand that a lot of that boils down to taste, but when everyone else is oohing and aahing I'm frequently shaking my head in frustration.

Thankfully, "Seraphine" avoided all of my negative associations with art. For starters, it's a character study. Seraphine's amazing raw talent is simply one part of her complex nature. That's something I understand. Also, her art is part of the "Naive" movement. A name which Seraphine's mentor Wilhelm Uhde despises. He prefers the term "Primitive" as if that's less offensive. Either way, the paintings simplify the details and emphasize colors and contrasts. I find Seraphine's style easy to admire and enjoy.

What really makes the film compelling is Seraphine's journey from housemaid to famous painter. She wasn't the kind of housemaid you see on "Downton Abbey". She wasn't given a clean smock or living quarters in some mansion. Seraphine was at the bottom of the totem pole. She cooked and cleaned for very little money and lived in a tiny apartment. Other housemaids treated her with no respect. Seraphine keeps so quiet towards the beginning of the film that subtitles become a non-issue. She was trained not to speak unless spoken to. It's amazing to me that one adult could treat another with such little respect.

Seraphine gets months behind on her rent. Every franc she earned went towards paint supplies. What she couldn't buy she stole: animal blood for color, anointing oil from a church. No matter how much work she did during the day, at night she painted.

I don't want to go any deeper into the plot. I'll just say that her paintings get noticed, and rightfully so. That doesn't necessarily mean this story has a happy ending. In fact, I found it quite sad. If this were fiction Seraphine would have met a handsome man and lived without care the rest of her days. Those she used to serve would see financial failure and she would hire them on as housemaids. History doesn't allow for such fantasies.

Yolande Moreau won a ton of awards for her turn in the title role. The rest of the cast is amazing, but Moreau's performance is genius. Regardless of the melancholy finale, Seraphine is a beautiful film. It almost makes me want to see some of the other painter biopics I've avoided. Almost.

What I've Been Up To

2013-03-17T23:27:00.001-04:00

I haven't been posting much lately. There's been an outpouring from my fans wondering why. Every day my inbox is full of adoring readers longing for fresh movie reviews enriched by my unique insight and wit.

Okay, none of that is true. Not one damn person has inquired about my meager output. Oh well.

I have managed to stay busy though, just not so much with movies. I've been watching plenty of them, dozens since my last review even. Writing about them? Nah, haven't been doing that. I hope to get back to it real soon though.

What I have been writing are stories, an occasional poem, and book reviews.

Jessica from Cinemadaptation and VirtualMargin has been nice enough to let me invade her book blog. In January I reviewed the formidable Cormac McCarthy classic "Blood Meridian". More recently I reviewed an autobiographical piece by a local writer/editor called "Burning The Furniture".

"Burning The Furniture" is by Dan Smith, editor of Valley Business FRONT Magazine. A magazine which, as of April 2013, will feature my print debut. It will be a short review of a new Sci-Fi Western novel called "Six-Gun Tarot" by R.S. Belcher, another local writer. Don't take that lightly though, "Six-Gun Tarot" is publish through Tor, a powerhouse in the world of sci-fi.

While the review may be minimal compared to the work I've done on this blog, a printed 150-word review means a lot more than a 2000-word review on a blog. At least it does when looking for freelance work. Hell, I'm going to frame the damn thing.

So don't fear loyal readers. I've not gone anywhere. Hopefully I'll have more good news to report in the future. I've gotten some nice feedback on the Ben Affleck "interview" and I plan to offer some more satire in the future.

Until next time,
Dusty

Q&A With Argo's Ben Affleck

2013-02-26T19:03:00.000-05:00

Fresh off the Oscar win for Best Picture, "Argo" director Ben Affleck settles in for a Q&A with DustyOnMovies. A big shout out to Ben for donating his time.

DustyOnMovies

Congratulations on all your wins this Awards season. When did you first have the idea to make a film about this historical event?

Ben Affleck

Honestly I had never heard of the mission. It was brought to my attention one day when I sat down on my remote control and the channel accidentally switched to PBS. I changed it back as quick as possible but not before I had the idea to make the film.

DOM

How much personal effort did you put into research for the film?

Affleck

I called a Poli-Sci professor at a nearby community college and invited him to lunch. He told me everything he knew about the incident and I jotted it down as accurately as possible on the back of a Denny's napkin.

DOM

Were you concerned about playing a character of Mexican decent?

Affleck

Tony Mendez? Where'd you hear that?

DOM

It seems obvious by the name, but I looked it up to be sure.

Affleck

Honestly, I had written something down next to his name, but it smeared due to a splash of grease from my Grand Slam breakfast combo.

DOM

How do you respond to the backlash over implying that the British were unwilling to help the American diplomats in Iran?

Affleck

Just to cross all my "T's" I went straight to the source on this one. The president of Britain, Stephen Fry, assured me that Argo's account of the British betrayal was factually accurate.

DOM

The film depicts several close calls in which our protagonists nearly have their cover blown. Historical accounts seem to show a much smoother operation. Was this a deliberate embellishment to add drama?

Affleck

Before Daniel Craig was hired to play James Bond I had been asked to audition. Not only did I have a great audition, but I showed up with scripts for a planned trilogy that would have highlighted my strongest attributes as Bond. Daniel Craig won the role when I refused to grant sexual favors to the producers. Much of Argo's script was copy n' pasted from the unused Bond scripts. There's no reason to let genius go to waste.

DOM

Argo is a critical and commercial success. You've won numerous directing awards and the film now has the coveted Best Picture Oscar. What else is left to do?

Affleck

A sequel was greenlighted just last month.

DOM

Will Tony Mendez be back?

Affleck

No, I'll be playing Nagamichu Tamagotchi, a Japanese nuclear scientist working for Iran to build an atomic bomb. Danny DeVito will be co-starring as Barack Obama. Catch it in 2014 "Argo 2: This Time We're Fucked"

Of course it's all made up. Get a sense of humor.

The American Scream (2012)

2013-02-12T20:14:00.000-05:00

Directed by Michael Stephenson

Starring Victor Bariteau, Manny Souza and Matthew Brodeur

Runtime 91min. - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

"The American Scream" is available on Netflix Instant.

Part of my Quirky Documentary series.

The town of Fairhaven, Connecticut is obsessed with Halloween. Or at least obsessed with Halloween decorations. "The American Scream" introduces us to three amateur "haunters" who lead the small town pack. Some are noticeably more talented than others, but all three households are veritably crazy.

Victor Bariteau is a perfectionist. He also gets the most face time in the film and rightfully so. His history warrants a little extra exploration. Victor was raised in a highly conservative religious family. There were no holiday festivities in his home. Not just strict Catholics or Protestants, he was brought up as a Branch Davidian. If that name rings a bell it's because the group was part of the infamously tragic Waco Siege of 1993. I'm unsure if he was part of that particular sect. His mother says she left the group when their prophet tried to resurrect a dead body during a service. Victor's daughter postulates that his current obsession with Halloween decorations is just a way of making up for missed childhood opportunities.

Thankfully, Victor has a supportive family. His entire property is saturated with things related to Halloween props. The kids would like a playhouse but then where would he put his cemetery? He even chose his home based on its prime trick-or-treating location even though they could have afforded better. Halloween is a year-round full-time job for which all expenses are paid for out-of-pocket. A pocket that is lined by a IT job that he's in constant danger of losing. None of this truly registers with Victor. All that matters is Halloween.

I should mention that he's damn talented. He creates huge animated props from raw materials. The guy could easily be a professional carpenter or movie set designer. That's not what he wants though. He wants to be a professional haunter. Yep, they have those.

Victor Bariteau and family

Manny Souza lives a few blocks away from Bariteau and was inspired by his haunt. They apparently are friends though I don't recall ever seeing them in the same frame. Maybe Bariteau feels like his idea has been copied. Souza is not a perfectionist. His art lies more in community celebration as opposed to painting and building props. He's not lacking for skill, but won't lose sleep over blemishes in his work. Souza's family is also supportive and his children perform a lot of manual labor voluntarily. His desire isn't to be a professional. Manny Souza wants to live on as a good memory of the kids in his area. I imagine that he will.

The final team of haunters in the doc are Richard and Matthew Brodeur whose enthusiasm heavily outweighs their talent. Neither seem to have an occupation, but Matthews father Richard seems like a candidate for disability. I assume they both live off that income. Neither member of this patriarchy are very bright. They argue endlessly over silly things. Shockingly, their's a girl who shadows Matthew but he insists he could never see her as anything but a sister. Big mistake in my opinion, his options can't be that numerous.

When not working on Halloween festivities, Richard and Matthew dress up as clowns to entertain sick children. While I applaud the volunteering efforts, I really didn't like Matthew Brodeur. The guy bosses his diabled father around endlessly and degrades him for not doing a good job. He might have a good heart, but I'd be willing to slap his face.

I thought of the film like a Three Little Bears spoof. Bariteau takes this stuff too seriously. The Brodeurs don't treat it with enough respect. Manny Souza's attitude seems just right. But who am I to judge? All of them seem satisfied with their work and the kids seem to love it also. My favorite scenes in the film feature children getting scared half to death.

I know I've covered a lot in this review. Don't worry about the spoilers, there's a lot more to see. The ending, for instance, leaves open room for a sequel.

Michael Stephenson is quickly making a name for himself in the quirky documentary genre. He directed 2009's "Best Worst Movie" about the terrible B-horror film Troll 2 and the fate of its cast. The film was widely praised and extremely entertaining. "The American Scream" marks a trend and I can promise this won't be the last time Stephenson's name gets brought up on this site.

Now For Sale: Beauty Beneath The Dirt

2013-02-11T17:44:00.002-05:00

Back in June 2012 I had the pleasure of seeing a film called "Beauty Beneath The Dirt". The documentary follows an unlikely trio of thru-hikers on the Appalachian Trail. At the time I offered up an interview with Kate Imp who has been involved with every aspect of the film from filming to editing to distribution. I also caught a local screening hosted by Brandon Imp and subsequently wrote a review.

Since that time I've kept up with the siblings on Facebook and through their official website.

I'm pleased to say that the film is finally for sale.

Actually, Kate Imp just posted a Facebook status update that I will now share with you without her permission. Hopefully she won't mind. I've linked up the crucial parts for viewing the film.

Yes indeed friends!!! My film is finally ready for your viewing!!! Thank you so much for your patience over the years. Blood, sweat, and tears doesn't even begin to describe all the love that went into this 2010 project, 2011 post-production, 2012 G2M Tour & University Tour, and now the 2013 digital and DVD distribution. And I seriously could not have done it without my inner circle of support (cough you cough). Seriously thank you. So, please, enjoy! Right now you can rent the film on YouTube or GooglePlay, and/or you can buy the DVD ... which includes over 3 hours of extra footage. In the coming months, more options will be available as well. And if you like it (or you like me) ... please share this link on your pages and twitter accounts. Email your friends. Let's inspire people together and let the world know how awesome nature can be.

Would You Rather (2012)

2013-02-10T17:41:00.000-05:00

Directed by David Guy Levy

Starring Brittany Snow and Jeffrey Combs

Rintime 94min. - Not Rated

2 Stars (out of 4)

"Would You Rather" is available on Amazon Instant and ITUNES.

Would you rather: A. Watch this film - or B. Cut off your pinky finger? Hmmm. Well it would certainly limit my guitar skills but it'd be over so much quicker. Just take the damn finger.

Ok, so it's not that bad.

"Would You Rather" caught my attention thanks to its odd ensemble cast. I have a crush on Brittany Snow who stars in the film. Also, she did an amazing job in the 2009 film "The Vicious Kind". Playing the lead villain is Jeffrey Combs, the memorable mad scientist from the "Re-Animator" franchise. Former porn star Sasha Grey makes yet another appearance in a mainstream film. You may remember her from Steven Soderbergh's experimental indie flick "The Girlfriend Experience". Eddie Steeples is a name you may not know, but he played the Crab Man on "My Name is Earl". If you watch a lot of TV then you'll recognize the face of Enver Gjokaj as he's had several guest roles and starred in Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse". Johnny Coyne played the sadistic warden on the short-lived series "Alcatraz". Oddly enough, I am both familiar with, and a fan of, this entire band of misfits.

There's one bonafide movie star in the film; John Heard. As a rule, when you see a big name like that in an indie horror film they will probably die early. This is no exception. I guess they couldn't afford him for the whole length.

Iris (Snow) has a critically ill brother who will die soon without a bone marrow transplant. Her doctor introduces her to the eccentrically rich philanthropist Shepard Lambrick (Combs) who makes her an offer. Come to his mansion and compete in a secret game. If she wins he'll make her wildly rich and secure a transplant for her brother. She hesitates, but her doctor ensures her it's a legit offer. He is a past winner and Lambrick made his dreams come true.

Iris arrives at the mansion and meets her fellow competitors. They gather around a table for a meal of ribeye steak and seared foie gras. Iris mentions she's a vegetarian. Lambrick offers her $10K to eat the meat. She does. Moments later he offers a recovering alcoholic $50K to drink scotch straight from a bottle. He does.

"Well that's not really a horror Dusty." you say. Well it gets worse imaginary critic heckler.

After the dinnertime shenanigans, the game officially begins. Two contestants are fitted with headgear that has been attached to a car battery. "Would you rather shock yourself? Or the guy sitting next to you?". The first contestant shocks himself. The next one shocks her neighbor. John Heard (Does his character need a name?) is not gonna take this crap anymore. He's leaving. Blam! John Heard is shot in the head. The producers smile knowing they saved money.

"Please don't zap me!" cries Brittany Snow.

The game continues with the stakes growing higher at each level. That's pretty much all you can say about it. It's a decent premise that doesn't offer much variety. By the end you feel like it's wore out completely.

I appreciated the film's willingness to fight cliches with logic. The ending is the best example but I don't want to spoil anything. Let's just say it isn't a moral triumph. There's also a subplot where the doctor that introduced Iris to Lambrick decides to rescue her. Instead of him becoming a hero he gets dispatched with a slug to the head.

On a casting note, Jeffrey Combs is just terrible in his role. I love "Re-Animator" and I thought Combs did a good job as Edgar Allen Poe in the Masters of Horror episode "Black Cat", but he's not cut out for this character. Honestly, I would have been much happier if John Heard and Jeffrey Combs switched roles. The rest of the cast does a good job with what they had to work with. Which wasn't much.

The film isn't great. It's barely good. It is at least watchable, thanks in no small part to Sasha Grey and Brittany Snow.

Wrong (2012)

2013-02-05T17:07:00.000-05:00

Directed by Quentin Dupieux

Starring Jack Plotnick, Eric Judor and William Fichtner

Runtime 94min - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

Now available on ITunes and other VOD services.

This review contains spoilers. Why? No reason.

What I like about "Wrong" is not the ridiculous events happening around the characters, but the passive nature of their reactions. Dolph Springer has a palm tree in his back yard. One day it's no longer a palm tree, but a pine tree. Instead of expressing wonder at this impossible transmutation he simply asks his gardener to remove it and put in a palm tree. He also works in an office where it's constantly raining, or maybe the sprinklers are perpetually activated. He and his coworkers just go about their business, using their laptops and phones while filling out soggy paperwork. He gets called into his manager's office where things are nice and dry. She asks him to use a towel before sitting down marking the only spoken reference to the situation throughout the entire film.

Quentin Dupieux's foray into weirdness (english-speaking weirdness anyway) began in 2010 with the cult hit "Rubber". It followed the adventures of a sentient tire with telekinetic abilities and an insatiable appetite for violence. At the beginning of that film a police officer parks out of a car trunk and delivers a monologue on the nature of cinematic reasoning:

In the Steven Spielberg movie E.T., why is the alien brown? No reason. In Love Story, why do the two characters fall madly in love with each other? No reason. In Oliver Stone's JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason. In the excellent Chain Saw Massacre by Tobe Hooper, why don't we ever see the characters go to the bathroom or wash their hands like people do in real life? Absolutely no reason. Worse, in The Pianist by Polanski, how come this guy has to hide and live like a bum when he plays the piano so well? Once again the answer is, no reason. I could go on for hours with more examples. The list is endless. You probably never gave it a thought, but all great films, without exception, contain an important element of no reason. And you know why? Because life itself is filled with no reason. Why can't we see the air all around us? No reason. Why are we always thinking? No reason. Why do some people love sausages and other people hate sausages? No fucking reason.

With this in mind, "Wrong" becomes a sequel of sorts. Certainly sentient tires, morphing pine trees, and continuously drenched offices exist in the same realm, right?

Though the techniques are similar, the films are very different in tone. "Rubber" was essentially a sci-fi horror whereas "Wrong" is a love story. That is, a love story between man and dog. I didn't mean that to sound bestial, it's a platonic love.

When the film begins Dolph wakes up and calls for his dog Paul. The dog is nowhere to be found. Dolph walks outside and asks his neighbor if he's seen the dog on his morning jog. The neighbor angrily denies having ever jogged and gets in his car and drives forever. Literally forever. He ends up trying to cross a desert which may or not be infinite in nature. Meanwhile, Dolph begins a search for his furry friend that sees him cross paths with a powerful psychic who runs a pet-napping company. Not for financial gain, he believes that people take their pets for granted and by kidnapping them he can make the owner's realize just how much the pet means to them. After he feels the pet owner has mourned enough he returns the animal unharmed. That's what was supposed to happen to Dolph's dog, but the doggie-napping van got in an accident and Paul went missing for real.

It's really hard to explain the feel of this sort of movie without spoiling too much. Just know that the laws of reality don't apply whatsoever.

Dupieux shows ample technical skill as a director. Both "Rubber" and "Wrong" look marvelous. Even though the concepts are so bizarrely abstract, the actors always seem to understand the director's vision. I can only hope that Dupieux will do some films outside of his no reason philosophy. At this point he's basically created and mastered a genre of his own, but I'm not so sure you can take the idea much further. It's good for any artist to push themselves and step outside their comfort zone. And make no mistake, Quentin Dupieux is an artist.

"Wrong" is definitely a movie that is designed to bring laughs, but its real value lies under its surface. Look past the shenanigans and you'll find something heartwarming. It's also a piece that forces you to think. All of that surreality must have some greater meaning. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe's it's just a bunch of pointless tomfoolery. Either way, you'll want to figure it out for yourself.

Klown (2010) (NSFW)

2013-01-15T18:09:00.000-05:00

I'm including 3 movie posters. They're all excellent.

Directed by Mikkel Nørgaard

Starring Frank Hyam and Casper Christensen

Runtime 89 min. - Rated R

4 Stars (out of 4)

Available on Netflix Instant, Vudu, ITunes and Amazon Instant

Klown is a victory for raunchy comedies. It manages to be absolutely offensive and filthy while still maintaining a high standard of cinematic quality as well as a touching story. Wait, you love raunchy comedies but haven't heard of Klown? It stars Frank Hyam and Casper Christensen. You haven't heard of them either? That's because they're Danish and we stupid Americans just don't watch foreign films. Don't worry, there's already a remake in progress and I'm sure everyone will rush to see that inferior knock-off version lest they be forced to read a few subtitles.

(Related: Korean rapper Psy encourages people to watch foreign films in Gangnam Style.)

So what makes Klown raunchy? The opening act sees the main protagonist ejaculate on the face of his fiance's mother. That's just the tip of the iceberg.

The plot revolves around a man (Frank) finding out his fiance is pregnant. He learns the information second hand because she thinks he might not be suited for fatherhood and has hid the pregnancy. Frank tries to prove his value by babysitting his 12 year-old nephew Bo. That's going well until there's a break-in at the pad. Frank escapes out the back door after briefly trying to wake up the sleeping kid. Only a few seconds go by when he gives up and leaves Bo behind. No one is injured in the process, but Frank's fiance is none too happy about his cowardice.

The enigmatic (and promiscuous) Casper.

She insists on taking Bo to his grandparents' home thus setting up the main plot of the movie. Frank is hellbent on proving his fatherly instinct. He already has a canoe trip planned with his buddy Casper that includes drugs, alcohol and adultery. So he kidnaps Bo and insists that Casper allow him to join their trip. Casper is relunctant and fears that Bo will interfere with the "Tour de Pussy". That's actually what they call it. But when his wife inquires about the reluctance, he can't tell her the truth and ends up acquiescing to the additional traveler.

It may seem like I'm spoiling a lot, however, this is just the set up. What ensues is a road-trip buddy movie, except on a river and with way more sex than most films of that genre. You can guess early on that Frank and Casper will form a bond with Bo during the course of this trip, but the adversarial situations never cease to surprise.

Despite its content, this is a classy film. The dialogue is simply perfect. These characters apparently originated in a Danish TV show and the actors have obviously perfected them over time. The chemistry feels authentic, which means more to the performance than traditional acting skills. Even Bo is an impressive member of the cast. So often directors try to force a child actor into more than they can handle. Bo is mostly silent and responds to situations in exactly the manner you'd expect from a 12 year old. He's both a hero and a victim in this story and manages to draw sympathy in either form.

Much like the film, the character of Casper is a paradox. Like Frank, Casper is both his real and fictional name. I can only hope that Mr. Christensen is nothing like his character who manages to be addicted to every debauchery and deviancy imaginable. He constantly lies to and cheats on his wife, who always gives him the benefit of the doubt. He openly ranks his priorities in life as: 1. Pussy 2. Fatherhood. Somehow though, Casper comes off as a good person. It seems like he sincerely cares about the important people in his life, but has absolutely no ability to make the right decision.

This is likely the best Danish movie I've ever seen, though I'm not sure I've seen enough to make a valid judgment. The intellectual aspects are subtle, but there. If that isn't what interests you, the lewd, rude, and not so shrewd gimmicks are surely enough to keep you laughing. Many folks are interested in foreign cinema but don't know where to start. Others fear that all foreign cinema is artsy and avant garde. Klown is a straight-forward comedy and provides a great chance for newcomers to get their feet wet in the world of foreign cinema.

Caution: Redband Trailer!

On the set of "Restitution" - with lots of photos

2013-01-05T17:33:00.000-05:00

"Restitution" was filmed with a Red Epic camera.

"I am a filmmaker, not a painter. I have a gift for arranging men and horses." - Werner Herzog

On January 4th I spent some time on the set of a film called "Restitution". It was a KickStarter project that met it's donation goal thanks in very small part to DustyOnMovies' $10 offering. I've donated to projects before, but this is the first time one has been filmed within 20 miles of my home. So I contacted the director, Matthew Pickett, and asked if I could come for a visit. To my surprise, he gave his consent without protest.

Matthew Pickett directs a shootout.

Being a western, "Restitution" required a location untouched by modern civilization. Pickett found that location in the mountains of Blacksburg, VA near a horse refuge called Advantage Ranch. This was a double win considering horses would be needed for the shoot. I parked at the ranch and was led down a wooded path and over hills of frozen mud until I came upon a small clearing. Invading that clearing was a cast and crew of about 20 individuals. Reflectors, shades, a camera dolly, make-up kits, sound equipment; this was clearly a rare event in this clearing, whose only other inhabitant was a busted picnic table.

Getting mic'd up.

Filming had been going on for a few days. When I arrived a scene was being rehearsed that required lots of shooting. Rehearsal went on for about an hour while everyone waited for the sun to get high enough lest the crew's shadows be seen in the frame. After the director and cinematographers were satisfied with the light, the actors got ready to go live. First they had to put on there full costumes; socks, boots, cowboy hats, dusters. After the look was refined it was time for each of them to get mic'd up. Lastly, there were the guns. These were real period guns, not props. The difference is that they shot blanks. No bullets, but there were shells that ejected, along with a healthy amount of smoke. Most importantly, they had the sound of real guns. Oh did they have the sound. Much of the cast and crew were wearing ear protection.
It's not all as glorious as it sounds though. After 3 hours of work, only about 2 minutes of usable footage was acquired.

Take 1 - Before the scene even begins an actor entering left accidentally fires his gun as he unholsters it.
Take 2 - Everything is fine until the end. But the final gunfire is mute because the gun wasn't reloaded fully after the previous misfire.
Take 3 - Someone starts up an ATV ruining the sound.
Take 4 - One actor attempts to kneel over a dead girl but misjudges his footing, kicking mud up her nose and falling partially on top of her.
Take 5 - The actors perform flawlessly, the sound wasn't rolling.
Take 6 - Everything is perfect, except for that slight imbalance in the camera dolly.
Take 7 - A cowboy runs into frame from the left, his hat falls off.
Take 8 - Not so bad, give me a few more like that.
Take 9 - But wasn't she supposed to walk from the other direction? Screw it, we'll flip it in post-production.

That may not be a 100% accurate account, but it's pretty damn close. Also, that only includes the wide-angle tracking shot. All of this has to be redone for close-ups.

They were making bullet wounds, not sundaes.

But playing dead is easy right? One actress gets shot at the beginning of the scene and falls to the ground. But on this take blood has been applied so she's already down when the footage starts rolling. That means 8 takes without the benefit of standing up. At face value it sounds easy, but when I pulled into the ranch that day my car's thermometer displayed 25F, so that young lady was essentially laying on a mixture of frozen mud and horse droppings for hours. As it thawed she became soaked with mud and between takes was having fake blood reapplied which I'm sure didn't help her body temperature at all.

"A 6 year-old can tie this knot." she says.

After a break for lunch, which consisted of some homemade soup provided by somebody's mom, it was time to bring out some horses. I met up with the ranch owner and professional horse-trainer Deb Dyer as she rode down to the set on Brownie, a top-10 ranked reining horse. In front of us are the two horses being used in the film, Laverne and Chuck. Today's scene features Laverne getting cuddly with a cowboy. He's getting ready to leave his horse behind and continue his journey on foot. Deb gives the actor a crash course in knot-tying and the filming begins. The actor ties him to a tree and gives puts his arms around the horse, gently stroking the mane. He checks his revolver's ammo and trudges out of the frame.

Deb Dyer and Brownie

It's this sort of equine affection that led Mrs. Dyer to volunteer her services to the film. She tells me there's a lot of stuff concerning horses in movies that just isn't authentic. Though this is her first foray into cinema, she hopes to help set the record straight. With her beautiful ranch and vast knowledge of horses she may get many more chances to make her point.

I'm hoping to contact Mrs. Dyer and get some more education on the misinformation that movies offer about horses. Check back with this site for that potential goodness.

I would love to tell everyone exactly what "Restitution" is about, but I can't. I asked several cast members and got lots of humorous workarounds with no direct answers. Then I modified my approach with, "Is it some sort of feuding family story?". The response I got was, "Something like that." Despite the ambiguity I think the project will be a success. When it's available you can bet I'll review it and let everyone know where they can attain a copy or catch a screening.

Holy Motors (2012)

2012-12-24T18:16:00.000-05:00

Directed by Leos Carax

Starring Denis Lavant and Edith Scob

Runtime 115min. - Not Rated

4 Stars (out of 4)

Check the Official Site for a screening near you.

Director Leos Carax inserts himself into the opening of "Holy Motors". He wakes up in a small bedroom. He walks up to a painted wall and locates a keyhole. The needed key is attached to his finger. The key turns and a section of the wall opens. It leads to a theater filled with a faceless audience watching an unknown film. The camera's angle eventually penetrates the silver screen and the audience becomes an afterthought.

"Holy Motors" is about a movie character. Not an actor, that would be too straightforward. This is a character in the abstract sense. At one moment he's a banker and family man, moments later he emerges from his limo as an elderly old lady who panhandles on the sidewalk. When he's done, the limo picks him up and it's off to the next appointment. In some roles he is murdered, once he's back in the limo he springs to life and starts studying for his next incarnation. He's a master of disguises.. The back of the limo is actually a dressing room. There's a small mirror, some wardrobes, and seemingly endless supplies of make-up and prosthetics.

Bizarre, sexy, contortionist motion-capture scene? This movie's got everything.

There's no traditional narrative in "Holy Motors". Every scene outside the limo seems to be the climax of some fictional film. There are a couple of times that it feels like an actual personality is emerging, but my interpretation is that there is no reality outside the limo. Even when our character seems to be reconnecting with an old flame or committing a vengeful act, it's just an illusion.

The inside of the limo is a realm unto itself. The driver of the limo knows the day's itinerary. She drops him off and picks him up at exactly the right times and exactly the right places. At one point the passenger is visited by a suit-wearing man who projects some sort of authority. He questions whether his employee still has the heart to do his job. The passenger assures him that he does. That's the entirety of the story that plays out in this realm however, and a very weird spin is put on that minimalist plot thanks to one of the most bizarre endings in film history.

Om nom nom

I've rarely been more entertained by a film. Every few minutes the viewer is presented with something completely different but equally captivating. There's action, drama, mystery, romance and even some musical elements. Each setting is treated with care, not once scene is half-hearted or teeming with genre cliches as it might have been in the hands of a lesser director.

Denis Lavant has already started collecting acting trophies for this role and he should continue to throughout awards season. It's amazing to see someone portray a sewer-dwelling ragamuffin with long hair and fingernails who eats flowers left on graves and bites off people's fingers, and then see the same actor cleaned up and marching proudly through a cathedral playing bag pipes. He portrays each role with uniform conviction. Usually when a critic speaks of an actor's "range" they aren't expecting to see the entirety of it in one film. Lavant gives all of it. If he only made this one film for his entire career, then I would classify that career an unequivocal success.

"Holy Motors" is a surrealist's film that invokes memories of David Lynch and Ingmar Bergman. You don't need to be a fan of those director's to enjoy it though. Anyone who looks at cinema as something other than a reason to look at boobs and explosions, or to eat popcorn, should enjoy the film. Revision: They should love the film.

Newtown Massacre

2012-12-16T18:44:00.000-05:00

When my son came home from school Friday I hugged him tight. Then I yelled at him for being a brat, then I hugged him some more. That pattern has repeated itself for the last few days. At the bottom of this post you'll find some useful links if you want to do more than hug your child.

You can't turn on a TV program right now without hearing something akin to "Our hearts and prayers go out to those affected by the events in Newtown, Connecticut." I'm not going to bore anyone with any such message. The words are empty, void of any meaning. I'm not saying people aren't sincere in their condolences, just that it doesn't much matter if they are or not. A parent who just lost their 1st Grader doesn't care if your heart goes out to them. Not right now anyway.

I also get pretty frustrated when some reporter uses a phrase like "trying to make sense of it all". There's no sense to be made. There's no greater meaning, no silver lining, no wider perspective. What happened is not subjective, it can only be viewed as reality.

When I first heard the awful news I cried. I've never done that before. I didn't cry after 9/11, OK City, Columbine, not even after the Virginia Tech shootings and those were only about 20 minutes away from where I live. I certainly had an emotional reaction to the events, but now I have children, two boys. One of them is in 2nd grade. Parents are always worrying for their kids, so when something like this happens it's far too easy to imagine. It's that imagination that overwhelmed me.

The Newtown tragedy could get worse. That town is engulfed in sadness, and sadness leads people to do awful things, both to themselves and others. Thankfully, there's some good people who are trying to help. Organizations are bringing in counselors for free. There's nothing to keep people from hurting, but counseling and mental health services can at least help them cope with the pain.

Here's some organizations that are helping which you can donate to: