This, of course, was before I met Matthew and we decided to leave the craziness of the city for the chance at owning a big house on a large property so that our (future) children could have space to run and play. If he’d wanted to move anywhere other than here, there may have been some resistance on my part. Thankfully, the vast Lake Okanagan is as close as you can get to be an ocean while actually being on a lake.

It’s like the little lake that could.

The second half of our family vacation was spent at Cannon Beach, for those of you who aren’t Twitter/Facebook friends and/or have been too busy holidaying yourself to pay attention to the minor details. Why Cannon Beach? Well, we spent but an afternoon there last fall on our annual stateside shopping trip and fell in love. Having the chance to see my Kerri Anne yet again was an added bonus.

(Speaking of Kerri, please tell me that you read this post. Please make sure that you’re not drinking or eating while you read it, lest you choke. Consider yourselves warned. )

I mentioned that the first part of our vacation was not what you would call restful. We left Vancouver a day early (to escape the gnomes, and) in order to spend a night in Seattle so that we could be that much closer to our final destination on the day we got to check in to our cabin. We booked it to the Coast, unloaded our stuff and looked at the view and then made the three-minute trek down to the water.

Pretty, right?

Breathtaking, beautiful and BITTERLY COLD. I mean, I knew we wouldn’t be having the high temperatures that we’re used to in the Okanagan, but that ocean wind was pretty biting.

Nothing that a hoodie couldn’t remedy.

Thursday morning we woke up to gloomy, misty weather but the winds had stopped and it was a lot warmer.

The kids played in the sand and the mud while we watched the waves roll in and then Matthew decided to write in the sand. He started with my name, finished his creation and then stood up proudly, only to see my standing there laughing.

He quickly did an edit.

There was only so much mist and gloom that we could take and so we treated the kids to a movie (Despicable Me – my new favorite animated movie). The rest of the evening was spent in the cabin, teaching the kids how to play Scrabble, reading and just hanging out.

Friday, we headed into the city of Portland. We spent a couple of hours at Powell’s buying books, then fall clothes for the kids and then ended up at our ultimate destination: dinner at Deschutes with some of my good blog friends. Kerri’s been to my house before, so she’s met the family, but nobody else had. I got to see friends and friends got to meet the four biggest loves in my life. Win, win.

In the back with me is Amanda. Front row, left to right: Sarah, Vahid, Rhi and Kerri.

Miss Kerri and her little pug Iggy (he loves me) came to spend the delight of everyone. We talked, we walked, we sat, we took photos.

This one that that Kerri took of Emily and I makes me smile every time I even think about it.

Kerri and Iggy headed home in the late afternoon and the family and I headed down to the beach to take our family photo.

After supper, I went on a solo mission down to the beach to capture the sunset.

I was so amazing to just stand on the edge of the water and soak in the beauty.

So, yeah. Our family vacation was even more than we hoped for and our kids did so amazing (TWELVE HOUR drive home and not a single meltdown. NOT ONE) that we’ll definitely be going on another road trip next year. Will it be back to Cannon Beach? Yes. No. Maybe.

*More photos of our trip in this Flickr set

When deciding where to go on our first! ever! vacation! that was not wrapped around spending a recognized holiday with extended family, we had originally thought about going to Mexico. We could easily buy a second house for the cost of taking the five of us to Mexico so, no. We asked the kids where we should vacate to and they instantly replied, “VANCOUVER”. They wanted to take in some of the attractions that their friends had gone to and I hadn’t been to a couple of them in the six years I lived there and, so. We made plans.

Before we started being the tacky tourists that you know we were, we stopped in at Matthew’s grandparents to (see them, and) enjoy their pool.

The two of them never use it themselves but their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids who live nearby are over there almost every day. We got to catch up with (Matthew’s) aunts and uncles and siblings that we rarely see while the kids flew through the air…

and jumped into the water

and played with their cousins

Speaking of (Dykstra) cousins, the kids see the two who live here pretty frequently but we only see the other ones a few times a year.

You’d never know it by how famously they all get along.

The three full days we spent in Vancouver were packed with visiting tourist attractions. Saturday was spent at Science World.

It was fun and super and amazing and whatnot, but was considered to be only slightly more exciting than the Sky Train in my kids’ eyes.

Who knew public transportation was so exciting?

Sunday was spent at the Greater Vancouver Zoo, walking and taking photos of everything that we saw.

See? Tacky tourists. (I kind of love this photo.)

Filed under: I am easily amused:

Filed under: I’m glad there’s a fence between us:

Monday was spent exploring Stanley Park, including the Aquarium. I had never been there before and I have to say that, despite the crowds, it’s worth the money to go to there.

The kids loved it too. Can’t you tell?

Seriously.

Our days were full of tourist attractions and our evenings were full of family dinners and I even managed to sneak in hosting the pre-BlogHer meetup while in Vancouver.

While I do love (cities in general, and especially) Vancouver, after four nights of fighting crowds and navigating traffic and finding parking and listening to sirens wail all night long…I was done. We were done. And so, we left Vancouver a day earlier and made a run for the border.

I’ve rambled on long enough and I have a lot to say about our time spent south of the border, so I think I’ll save the second half of our trip for another day. It only gets better from here, if you can even believe it.

Stories to follow once I recover from our epic TWELVE HOUR drive home yesterday and the many late nights we pulled. So…tomorrow? Maybe? Sometime before I leave for New York next Monday (!), I promise. I hope you all had as great of a week as we did.

***

When I was in the 8th grade I wanted to be one person and one person only.

Molly Ringwald.

Specifically, Molly Ringwald in Pretty In Pink (from here on out referred to as PIP).

I wanted to be Molly Ringwald so badly that I asked my Mom to make my 8th grade graduation dance dress in the fashion of Andie Walsh’s in PIP. For those of you who lost the 80’s to a blur of cocaine or were still in utero, Andie is Molly Ringwald’s character- a senior who lived on the “wrong side of the tracks” who worked part-time at a record shop called (aptly) “Trax” and lived with her despondent father while spending most of her time with her best friend, Duckie, before she fell for Blane, a popular schmuck played by Andrew McCarthy who woos her with pre-IM computer wizardry on gigantic monitors in the library.

How anyone could pick a Blane over a Duckie is beyond me. BUT I DIGRESS.

Andie, being poor and crafty, sewed her own clothes. She’d take vintage clothes and modern clothes and make something unique and inevitably pink out of it. She drove a pink VW Karmann Ghia. She had flaming red hair, pouty lips and freckles. We were practically twins! Except for the fact that I didn’t yet drive and couldn’t sew and had mousy brown hair. Details, details!

Molly as Andie going to prom solo because she's wanted to "let them know they didn't break her". She's tough on the outside but soft on the inside and pink all over.

And so my Mom being the great Mom that she is, attempted to recreate that pink dress for me. It was pink satin underneath with – I kid you not- an old lace tablecloth cut up and fashioned as an overlay. She tried her very best to make it look like the dress Andie made. It even had the high neck!* I wore that dress proudly hoping to God that Jacob Sherriff would ask me to dance. I had the biggest crush on him despite the fact that he once told me I had big ears and subsequently have always styled my hair over them since. Love is blind, people. And sometimes, deaf.

Myself and a fellow classmate, Mark P., arrived first because our moms were on the set up crew. Mark P.** was too smart for his own good and always in trouble. I had spent the past 9 years being seated next to him because teachers love to put the good girl next to the bad boy hoping good will rub off on bad. We were friends by default. I remember being outside the hall where the dance was being held nervously pacing the grass. I was afraid that my homemade dress wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t good enough. What if no one asked me to dance?  In the middle of my neurotic obsessing, Mark P. walked up to me and said, “You look beautiful.”

That was the first time any boy had said those words to me. Prior to that the only male to ever tell me I was pretty was my Dad and everyone knows Dads are required by paternal law to say such things. I was taken aback yet flattered. I was 14 and had no idea how to take a compliment.

Later while Billy Vera & The Beaters*** sang out from the speakers, I danced that dance I dreamed of with Jacob Sherriff and I looked across the dance floor to see Mark P. dancing with my friend Rozanne (the girl he had a crush on). I blushingly remembered what he said to me alone earlier. We shared a shy smile then looked back at the wall. Anywhere but at our dance partners or at each other.

I’ve remembered that moment on the grass on the precipice of our futures, two young kids ripe with possibility and hormones, for 23 years and I’m still so grateful to him for being, however briefly, my Duckie.

So yeah. I was 14 and I got to be Andie Walsh for one night.

And it was awesome.

*Looking back on it, it really didn’t look much like it and why didn’t anyone tell me that dress was a shapeless, unflattering cut? Sheesh.

**Mark P. & I dated 10 years later. That’s another blog post entirely.

***I totally downloaded “At This Moment” after I wrote this. For old time’s sake.

That's me in the middle with the short hair and the dress that looks VAGUELY like Andie Walsh's dress. And no, Jacob Sherriff is not in that photo. But Mark P. is.

P.S. How much lace is going on in that photo? Good gracious! Forgive us. It was the 80’s.

*Exclamation points mid-sentence is one of the (many) Kerri-isms that I love.

***

Hi, I’m Kerri (Anne), and I like movies. A lot. I like talking about movies. A lot. If you ever want to talk about movies with me, it will most likely make my day.

Unless you are going to try to convince me Brendan Fraser was not forced at gunpoint to make (and so badly act in) Journey to the Center of the Earth. No, really, because how could the man responsible for one of the best (and one of my favorite) movies of all time (The Mummy) participate in such cinematic folly? HOW? The writing was not even hilariously horrible, and the special effects were so sad that at one point I swear I saw Bob Ross in the background painting happy trees.

Please, if you know the answer, I beg you to share it. I have considered kidnapping, extortion, potential loss of kneecaps after some bad poker losses in Vegas. Or maybe he just really never backs down from a double dog dare.

But I am digressing. We are not here today to talk about Brendan Fraser. Well, maybe we are, just a little. Mostly we are here today to hear from Nicolas Cage. That’s right, kids. Francis Ford Coppola’s nephew is here with me today, with a heartfelt letter penned to the lovely (and vacationing!) Angella D.

It should be herein stated for the record that Angella, while also loving The Mummy, and thus having impeccable movie taste, loves loathes Nicolas Cage, while I sort of think (The Wicker Man notwithstanding) he’s the Best Thing Ever.

If you engage her in cinematic conversation, Angella will eventually let you know she thinks Nicolas Cage is a) ridiculous; b) super ridiculous; c) creepily ridiculous with a side of bad hair; d) the King of St. Ridiculous; e) all of the above.

Hearing about Angella’s disdain for his acting and overall visage, Mr. Cage decided to write her a personal letter, in the hopes of bringing her over to the dark side winning himself a second chance to infest her heart with his charm and crooked smile.

Dearest Angella,

(May I call you Angella? I hope so. I like to use first names whenever possible. It’s much more personal, don’t you think? Also, do you mind if I stare at a picture of you while I dictate this letter to my secretary? Kerri sent me a great picture of you, knowing as she does how much I rely upon visual aides. And CGI hair, but that’s another story.)

I care about all of my fans, and I want everyone to be a fan of me, which believe me, is much less narcissistic as it probably sounds, and is, in fact, wholly benevolent of me. I just bring so much joy. So much laughter. So many late night fireside conversations about my questionable choices in movie roles.

I know you’re not my biggest fan. Or even any sort of fan. But I’m here to change that. Oh, and believe me, I can. I have the power. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Now playing! Check your local theater listings!) is actually auto-biographical. No, really.

Why, pray tell, should you give me a second cinematic chance?

For starters, we already have so much in common!

You have three kids; I have one. But if you count my cinematic children, then I think I have at least three.

You have a motorcycle; so do I! I also once had a motorcycle that could burst into flames and scale skyscrapers, but I’m not trying to brag or anything.

Speaking of not bragging, I think you probably missed me in Ghost Rider, so I thought you should know this totally isn’t CGI:

Yeah, that’s right, ladies. I totally did a ton of sit-ups to get those abs. Because I’m a dedicated actor.

You’ve been quoted in the past as saying,

I hate THAT FACE he makes when “emoting.”

You mean THIS face?

Or maybe this face?

This one?

Or maybe this one?

Yeah, those were all pretty bad. What can I say? Sometimes I just need the money.

While most of the movies referenced above were Total Crap, there are some movies I think you would really enjoy if you would do me the honor of watching them. I even put them into a handy-dandy Top 5 list, because I know how pressed for time a working mother of three can be.

(In addition to being ridiculously talented and a little manic, I’m super sensitive.)

I happen to know for a fact that these are the five movies that made your cinematically savvy friend Kerri fall in love with me in the first place. Not because she thinks I’m particularly handsome, or that I have the best hair (we all know they’re plugs; I’m not ashamed), but because of my acting chops. Not to be confused with my karate chops, though let’s face it, those are pretty amazing, too.

1. The Rock

This is the movie that started it all for Kerri. One she owns, and has probably seen twenty times. A film laden with one science nerd turned reluctant action hero (that would be me), and one British spy turned top secret military consultant (that would be Sir Sean Connery), and droves of super buff Marines.

If that synopsis didn’t sell you, I really don’t know what will. How about amazing comedic timing and action scenes that are at once entertaining and actually realistic?  More realistic than say,  falling out of a plane in a military tank while shooting at a jet (I’m looking at you, Bradley Cooper).

OK, then. How about some pictures of me? Pictures of me are great.

Here I am being Dr. Totally Rad Stanley Goodspeed next to Sean Connery:

Glass or plastic? GLASS OR PLASTIC?

Sorry, I got caught up in the moment there for a second. They gave me some of the best lines in The Rock. When they weren’t giving them to Sean, of course. Speaking of Sean, that man has a beautiful singing voice, I don’t mind telling you.

2. Gone in Sixty Seconds

Don’t listen to the haters. I’m totally awesome in this movie. I’m a misunderstood car thief aficionado named…wait for it…Memphis Raines, and my little bro? This little guy:

Basically I come out of retirement to save his big mouth and steal a ridiculous number of cars, and did I mention the supporting cast is ridiculously rad? Because, man, these are some true Hollywood players. We’ve got Robert Duvall (love that guy), Angelina Jolie (she didn’t have to shower the whole time we were filming; LUCKY); Delroy Lindo (his accent is hilarious, Angella, seriously); Will Patton (think: Armageddon); Scott Caan (think: Ocean’s Eleven).

Oh, and I almost forgot, one of Kerri’s all-time favorites:

Yeah, yeah, that’s Timothy Olyphant. Keep your pants on, yeesh. We all know who the real hero of this movie is.

Oh, Eleanor, I miss you. (Yes, the car has a name. I promise it will make moderately more sense once you watch the movie.)

3. Raising Arizona

I’ll see your cult classic, and raise you my arguably best cinematic performance (and undoubtedly craziest hair).

This movie is so quotable, it should be a crime.

Speaking of crimes! Stealing a baby in a movie? Totally OK. Stealing a baby in real life? Much less OK. Just remember you heard it here first, folks.

4. Face/Off

This is again one of Kerri’s favorite movies of mine, and I’m going to be honest with you: I can’t even tell you what this movie is about. It’s so confusing that half the time I didn’t know who I was while I was on set. But that’s the beauty of acting, you know? Showing up with zer0 idea of who you are and just becoming this other person for the scene. It’s a spiritual process, man. (These tears in my eyes right now are totally real.)

Another beautiful part about acting? Getting to crash really expensive boats into really big docks. It’s OK to be jealous. I really do have the coolest job ever.

5. Kick-A** (Second word rhymes with grass, pass, sufferin’ succotash)

Aha! I bet you didn’t even know I was IN this movie, did you? Kerri didn’t either when she bought her ticket. The trailers did a good job of keeping my role a secret, no doubt to build suspense and make my entrance that much more memorable. Through most of the movie you’re hanging out with this kid and his affinity for heroism and tight green body suits:

But then I walk on screen in a Batman suit after applying bits of fake mustache to my already awesome real mustache. (RIGHT? I can tell you’re excited.) Again, in this case I think nothing does me more justice than a photo:

Boom!

Annnd scene.

I think that concludes this missive to your heart, from the bottom of mine.

I really hope I see you in one of my movie theaters soon and very soon. I promise you won’t regret it. Or, you might. But it will be a noble regret.

P.S. Here’s a bonus role and picture, just for you: Yours truly in Vampire’s Kiss.

Oh, right, like you never did anything you regretted in the ’80s.

***

I’ve been really reluctant to make a life list. It’s not that there aren’t things that I’d like to accomplish in my lifetime, it’s just that EVERYONE IS DOING THAT and I’m just stubborn enough not to do something that everyone else is doing even if it’s something I actually kind of want to do. Neurotic? YES. And, besides, I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 30 and I pretty much slacked on that.

So, a few weeks ago, Bill and I were talking about physical fitness and running and such (we are so boring) and we decided that something we’d like to do before we start our family is to run a half-marathon together. Which got me to thinking about other things that I’d like to do before we have a baby. So, I present with you my totally different than a life list, Things I’d Like to Do Before I Have a Baby List:

• Run a half-marathon with Bill (I know, we covered this, but the list looked short without it)
• Begin a Masters program (I started college at the wonderful University of Oregon, but a whole bunch of things prevented me from finishing my degree there. I’m happy with the school I graduated from, but I really, really want a diploma from UofO)
• Vacation, for at least a weekend, all by myself
• Also, have one awesome vacation with my girlfriends (we did this about 7 years ago when we were young and poor, I’d like to try it again now that we’re older and capable of saving money)
• Rid myself of all the toxic people in my life (I wrote about this a while ago and I’m ashamed to say, I’ve done nothing I set out to do)
• I guess now is a wonderful time to bring up that I’d like to learn to FOLLOW THROUGH on things, especially promises I make to myself
• Attempt, one more time, to learn to scuba dive (I tried to take a class once and had a horrible anxiety attack while sitting on the floor of a hotel pool, naturally, I spent the rest of the day at the hotel pool bar drinking)
• Learn to be less passive-aggressive and more honest
• Have a healthier relationship with my own mother

So, tell me…are there things you wanted to be sure you accomplished before you had children? Or, if you don’t have children, what do you want to accomplish before they arrive?

***

There might be lots of reasons why you haven’t a baby yet. The economy is a bummer. You constantly ask yourself, “How can I bring a baby into this world that no longer has the show LOST?”  You might be thinking, I can’t afford a baby!  Babies will cut into my going out time!  People look down on babies in bars and liquor stores!  I can’t install a car seat in a party bus! These are all legitimate concerns.  I had the same reservations before I had children, too, my friends.  However, after giving birth to two boys who are now three months old and four years old, let me present the reasons why a little bundle of joy will elevate your life.

1. You will get presents.

So you announced to your family, friends, book club and World of Warcraft message board that you’re expecting and suddenly people will ask you for your baby registry.  They will send boxes and bags of clothes and gear your way.  Once you have already stocked up on baby items, simply ask for other things you might want to pilfer from your friends.  When you go visit their homes, talk about how much you still need things for the baby.  Then point to things you want and ask, “Hey, what’s the range on this cordless phone?” or “Is there a key to this liquor cabinet?” or “Man this massaging chair is comfortable! You think it’ll fit in my Honda?”

2.  You can leave a party whenever you want.

People will want to see the baby. They will want to see what kind of baby you have been hosting for the past few months. They will say, come over to our house!  Bring the baby!  Some of these parties will be awesome, there will be laughter and dirty jokes and funny apps you downloaded to your iPhone. Sadly, some of these parties will be booooring.  Their conversations will turn to how to properly care for hydrangeas and healthcare reform, but you’re all, “Do you identify with the theme song to The Hills! It’s the soundtrack to my life!  The rest IS still unwritten!”  In that case, you can announce, “This has been fun but I have to leave now, you know, because of the baby.”  The baby doesn’t have to be crying or fussing, the fact that you brought a baby automatically means that this party is not on till the break of dawn, so once the topics start addressing reality and not reality tv, you can head on out and back into the loving arms of your couch, remote control and Netflix queue.

3.  You will get lots of attention from strangers.

You’ll be in the grocery store, trying to figure out how many tubs of ice cream can fit into your cart when someone notices the baby you have snuggled against your chest. The person will walk over, squeeing, “Oh that’s a baby! Let me see the baby!” You will turn so your baby faces this stranger and the stranger will continue to coo and smile at your little one. Sometimes this stranger will be a handsome man who takes notice of your cute little baby, and walks over while you frantically hide the foot cream into the cart like you’re pretending it’s just for a friend, the friend with the funky toe. The man will stand very close to you, and whisper to your baby, “Aren’t you so cute! You are so cute in that outfit, baby!” And you will forget that you are standing in front of a shelf full of deodorants and answer in that breathy voice, “I look pretty good in a onesie, too!” And when he walks away from your craziness, shout after him, “Hey you came up to me, buddy! I look good diapers, too! Not that I’ve tried! Just saying!”

4.  You can put off your diet.

After the baby is born and your post-baby body has taken settled, you might be scrapbooking and find an old picture of yourself from two years ago and wonder what life must have been like with only one chin.  You can’t even fit the “Me Love You Long Time” shirt you bought in college.  The Wii Fit still says you’re in the obese category and there’s no “I just had a baby!” button. But you still have some time to sport the elastic maternity pant! Just say, “Oh it’s so hard to lose the weight, I just had a baby!”  This excuse will last a long time, just keep referring to “the baby” even if “the baby” is now four and interrupting your conversations at Target to ask if you if you’ll buy him another Thomas the Train car.  “Aww, so cute,” you say, “This little boy thinks I’m his mom! I’ll just take him home with me!”

5. You don’t need to make any more friends.

Sometimes life gets lonely and you think, “I wish I didn’t have to make this run to the gas station all by myself. There’s no one to talk to about how awesome this slurpee is!” That’s best part of having babies.  You will always have a little buddy. Someone to snuggle with, to smother with hugs and raspberries on the belly. Someone who can’t deny your 567th playing of Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy because he’s a baby! He doesn’t know how to speak yet! Also, babies have to be your friends, they don’t know anyone else. Their facebook friend list consists of only one person: YOU. Babies become your BFFLBIGBTY: Best Friend For Life Because I Gave Birth To You!

I'm his bff. he's not so sure.