DVR Assassin

My Thoughts On Four Summer Shows

2011-08-11T20:05:00.000-07:00

Rescue Me: As much as I am still enjoying this show.... For the LOVE OF GOD will someone hand Tommy a bottle of whiskey?! This show does not get to end with "and they all lived happily after".

Entourage: You ever see one of those marathon highlights where the runner shits themselves and keeps going? I always think "You know what? I'd rather see a 24 mile run followed by a quick deuce in a port-a-potty and a bus ride to the finish." Same here. This show ran out of steam and now the highlight of the show is an 80 year old Andrew Dice Clay still in full Dice Man regalia. Yet somehow I can't turn it off...

True Blood: Seriously, why is Tara still alive? Rutina Wesley could give soap opera actors lessons on shitty acting. Why keep this dead weight around your neck every week?

Breaking Bad: Nothing snarky to say here. In fact can I wash the writers' cars?

Louie

2011-08-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

Over the last five years Louis CK has firmly yanked the coveted Best Stand Up Comedian crown from Chris Rock and run with it. Now he's threatening to toss in Funniest Show On TV honors to boot with his second and far funnier show Louie.

So few comedians are able to mine their own work so effectively and produce a great sitcom. Seinfeld and Bill Cosby are really the only two that come to mind (screw off Rosanne fans, that show wasn't that great). Considering both Seinfeld and The Cosby Show rate in my top ten of all-time I'd say this bodes well for Louie.

Is the show funny? Absolutely. What I did not expect was the sincerity. Louis CK explores his humanity on TV for us on a weekly basis. He tackles racial issues better than any show since The Wire. Week in and week out we get a stark appraisal of the life of a father in a broken home that is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking.

And maybe its cheating, but the decision to insert clips of him doing his amazing stand up is brilliant. As great as the show is, I still look forward to that moment in the show when he's standing in front of the brick wall in some comedy dungeon going on a brilliant jag about Mark Twain.

More than any comedian I've ever seen I feel like the pain he is going through fuels his comedy. I feel guilty watching this show sometimes because I know that I'm being given joy directly from his most painful experiences. It's like I am some sort of TV vampire feeding off watching him spew his pain onto the screen for me week by week. But fuck it, here's hoping he gets cancer or something because I know that shit will be HILARIOUS.

* Louie can be seen every Thursday at 10:30 PM on FX.

Rescue Me Season Seven Premiere

2011-07-14T16:28:00.000-07:00

As depressing as the first six seasons have been I can't even begin to imagine how they'll trump them in this final season. Don't worry, they seem poised to make an honest run at it. The fact alone that Tommy isn't getting it on with Sheila (Callie Thorne) is enough to bring a tear to my eye.

Tommy finds out that Janet is pregnant and follows her to the appointment. In typical Gavin fashion this leads to Tommy nearly being hospitalized after jumping on the hood of her car. Flashforward five months, these geniuses are keeping it.

Not to worry, recovering alcoholics Mickey and Teddy have opened a bar together. To make things worse they have hired Tommy's recovering alcoholic daughter Colleen wo waitress. This is all going smashingly until her boyfriend proposes. Upon her acceptance and his exit she downs enough to booze to pass into that sweet oblivion that vodka so generously offers.

I'm not huge on recaps because I get worried the wrong person will see them then bitch me out for getting spoiled so I'll just say this. Tommy's response involves a shotgun. And shockingly no booze.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I always like this show best when he is in a full on tailspin of whiskey and self-destruction and was kind of hoping that's what the final season had in store for us. Luckily there is a whole season ahead of us, I'll hold out hope.

Thursdays Without Community Suck

2011-07-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Summer is finally upon us, or as I like to call it "The Annoying Time Of The Year When I'm Sweating All The Time And I Don't Get To Watch Community". Thankfully Sketch Blogger Victor Perfecto made this awesome tribute to Community's Star Wars themed finale:

For those of you not well-versed in nerdery this is a great adaptation of the Return Of The Jedi movie poster. Maybe we can start a twitter campaign for Donald Glover to play Spiderman? #DONALD4SKYWALKER

Check out Victor Perfekto's blog Coffee And Comics Stunted My Growth to see more of his art.

Guest Post: 2011 World Series Of Poker On ESPN

2011-07-05T23:07:00.000-07:00

Fans of poker tournaments circle June and July on their calendars every year, as the World Series of Poker (WSOP) is held every June/July in Las Vegas, with all the stars of the poker world turning out. Headlined by the $10,000 Main Event tournament (which annually gets the most entries of any WSOP tournament), the WSOP consists of nearly 60 different tournaments, with buy-ins ranging from $1,000 all the way up to $50,000.

For poker players and fans that can’t make it out to Vegas to see the action live, ESPN broadcasts the Main Event each and every year, and for 2011 it has also added final table coverage of some of the preliminary events. ESPN’s Main Event coverage begins in late July (just a few weeks after the action has wrapped up in Vegas), with weekly broadcasts shown in the months leading up to early November when the final table of nine players return to Vegas to crown a Main Event champion.

2011 marks the first year that ESPN offered online broadcasts of selected final tables as well, with the extra coverage shown on high definition on ESPN3.com. Daily coverage of two featured tables at the Main Event will be shown on ESPN2/ESPN3.com; the “live” coverage (delayed by 30 minutes because of gaming regulations) will show every hand played on the featured tables unedited with hole cards available post-flop (for all players still in the hand). The coverage will shift between two feature tables approximately every 30 minutes, and will show all “all-in” and “call” situations at both tables.

ESPN’s coverage of the World Series of Poker Main Event has been highlighted by many as being a key factor in the popularity of poker games around the world, which really started to boom in 2003 when amateur Chris Moneymaker won the Main Event. Millions of people saw his underdog victory on ESPN (and the millions in prize money he won) and decided to give the game a try themselves, leading to a surge in popularity for poker that still continues to day and has spread around the world.

Exclusive Shawn Ryan Interview

2011-06-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Who could possibly follow Kurt Sutter? None other than his good friend Shawn Ryan of course. Shawn was very generous with his time and answered a few questions for DVR Assassin and our readers. I say "our" because it sounds way more pretentious than admitting it's just me here. Don't pester me about that, I need things like that. So without further ado:

It is so refreshing finding someone in Show Biz who is NOT a Lakers fan. As a Bulls fan, how relieved were you to see Kobe fail to get ring number six inevitably prompting more idiots to compare him to Jordan?

SR: I try not to root for other people to fail, but sometimes I need to break that rule to include Kobe, the Miami heat and the Packers. Had to settle for 2 out of 3 successful jinxes this past year.

One constant in every Shawn Ryan show seems to be a fantastic cast. How do you manage to consistently put together such outstanding groups of actors?

SR: First, thanks for that. We always spend a lot of time and see as many people as we possibly can before casting. I try not to make too many direct offers to actors without seeing them read or at the very least having time to sit down and talk to them extensively about the role. You do have to be willing to risk your pilot to adopt such an attitude though. On The Chicago Code we were one of the first pilots picked up and we were probably the last one to be cast. I was being threatened that the pilot would be pushed (or even cancelled altogether) if we didn’t cast quickly, but I think it’s better to not make a pilot with the wrong cast. So we held out and ultimately got Jason Clarke (who hadn’t been available a month earlier) and the rest of the cast fell into place after that. The ultimate lesson is to not compromise and to have patience, patience, patience with casting.

Delroy Lindo was so amazing on The Chicago Code that I really found it difficult to root against him. I have the same problem when I watch Justified, I can’t help but pull for Walton Goggins. When you are making a show do you ever worry that your villains might just be too charismatic?

SR: Never. If that starts to feel like the case you just need to write your lead characters better. It’s an old saying that a movie (or in this case a TV show) is only as good as your villain, so I want the “bad guy” to be fun to watch and to have some aspects that make you sympathize with him/her. It helps then to have an actor as good as Delroy to play the part.

Did the spectre of cancellation force you to alter the timeline in regards to Alderman Gibbons' apprehension?

SR: No. We wrote and shot all the episodes before the first episode of the show even aired, so we were prepared for cancellation or Season 2. We always planned on the Gibbons storyline being a one season story. We would have launched a Season 2 with a new storyline, though we probably would have also tried to bring Delroy back for a few episodes.

Having written so many shows with such great characters, is there the one character above all that sticks out to you as a personal favorite?

SR: Probably Vic Mackey since that was the first show I created and the character (as played brilliantly by Michael Chiklis) really seemed to strike a chord with the public. Also have a soft spot in my heart for Hank and Britt on Terriers. But honestly, there hasn’t been one show I’ve worked on that I haven’t loved writing for those characters. No point doing it if you don’t love it.

I loved The Unit, but I always felt the episodes dealing with supernatural forces felt a little out of place. What were you guys going for with those episodes (I'm thinking of the Spear Of Destiny episode specifically)?

SR: I don’t think we did too many of those, but I understand the resistance on your part. I will say that when you talk to Delta guys who have spent a lot of time in different parts of the world they will talk about strange things happening on occasion which are hard to explain. So those episodes were our attempt to tap into those kinds of things. But I understand completely if they weren’t your favorites.

The action on The Unit looked like an actual movie each and every week. How were you able to stay on a TV budget and still pull this off?

SR: Our production team did an amazing job (led by producer Vahan Moosekian, after whom I named Vonda and Isaac’s boss on The Chicago Code). We also tried to put them in a position to succeed by letting them know weeks ahead of time if we had something big or difficult coming up (like our Sub episode in Season 2). This allowed the production team and directors to maximize their time and money.

Is there any truth to the persistent rumors that you were a highly paid ghost writer for all three of the Big Momma movies? If so, what was it like to work with Martin Lawrence?

SR: Ha! Not true. Wouldn’t mind the residuals on some of those films though.

The first time I watched The Shield finale I was absolutely sick to my stomach. By the next day I realized that it was probably the best finale in TV history. The end of that series reminded me of The Sixth Sense the way it forced me to look back at the whole series and go "Wait a minute, Vic is an asshole!" Was it always your intention to have us rooting for Vic the entire length of the series and then pull the rug out from under us?

SR: Thanks for the compliment. I never intended to decide for the audience who to root for or against in the series. I was initially very surprised at how many viewers were rooting for Vic and forgiving of all his misdeeds, but Chikie was so compelling and charismatic as Vic that I came to expect that reaction. However, that never led me to forget who the character was, so I wasn’t afraid to show it in the last couple episodes.

What shows does Shawn Ryan enjoy on TV these days?

SR: A lot of comedies. Always Sunny, Archer, Big Bang Theory, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Office, Parks and Rec, Community, Party Down (before it got cancelled). In the drama area I was really impressed with what Game of Thrones did. In the reality arena, I really love Shark Tank.

With the increased freedom your Sony deal provides have you given any thought to making a show for someone like HBO?

SR: Yes. Don’t tell anyone.

Anything you'd like to say to your fans before we wrap this up?

SR: I wouldn’t be able to make these shows if people didn’t watch, so thanks so much to all those who have. I’ve always tried very hard to make the shows as good as they can be, and I’ll continue to do so. I consider it a privilege to be handed an hour of television time and I try to respect the viewers’ time as well.

On a personal note, Shawn Ryan was an absolutely nice guy to talk to throughout this. For someone with so much on his plate, to go out of his way like this was beyond charitable. So the next time he is making an awesome show like Terriers how about you knuckleheads tune in?

You can follow Shawn Ryan on twitter @ShawnRyanTV.

Next Up: Shawn Ryan

2011-06-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have more exciting news. Shawn Ryan has agreed to do a little interview for DVR Assassin and I have sent over the questions. You might know him best as the genius behind The Shield, Terriers and The Chicago Code. With any luck we'll have this up by Friday.

DVD Recommendation: NewsRadio

2011-06-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

Anyone who follows this blog knows I'm nearly obsessed with Community. Well in my book NewsRadio was Community before we had Community. Great ensemble cast, very quirky, and the show almost never leaves the protective shell of its little world.

NewsRadio is one of my top 5 sitcoms of all-time. Phil Hartman is in dynamite form, and the use of an ensemble cast allows him to play Bill McNeil as over the top as he wants since we get him in bite-size pieces. Let me just rattle off the names of more cast members as you'll probably recognize all of them: Joe Rogan, Andy Dick, Khandi Alexander, Dave Foley, Stephen Root, and Maura Tierney.

Cleverly written, sharply delivered, the dialogue made this show an amazing thing to behold. The ensemble cast clicked from episode one and only got better as the show progressed. Another great aspect of NewsRadio was its penchant for one off "what if" episodes. Sinking Ship was the fourth season finale, a brilliant spoof of Titanic that is one of my favorite sitcom episodes ever.

One warning, don't bother with season five. For some reason they still made another season after Phil Hartman's unfortunate demise. And someone decided Jon Lovitz could fill his shoes. As you might guess that didn't quite work out.

PS - I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't mention how HOT Khandi Alexander was on this show.

DVD Recommendations: Chappelle Show

2011-06-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

As summer rolls around and most of the good shows go into hibernation (I know, I know! True Blood is coming back, I'm excited too) I thought I'd launch a weekly series recommending older shows you can rent from Netflix to keep you busy and out of that harmful UV radiation. Who knows how long this will last, there are only so many shows, and I'm kind of lazy. I'm setting the over/under on four weeks and taking the under personally.

I decided to kick things off with a show a lot of us have already seen, The Chappelle Show. And while most of us may have already seen it I can attest to a second viewing being highly worthwhile. I've had a blast getting caught up with Clayton Bigsby and The Player Haters.

I first fell in love with Chappelle clicking through channels late one night and stumbling across his stand up special Killing Them Softly. At that point I had seen Dave, but other than the less than impressive Half Baked had no idea who he was. If you haven't seen it, stop reading right now and go find it. This is one of my top five stand up specials ever. I'll put this against anything Chris Rock has done and feel pretty good about its chances.

So while I was excited for his new show, I really wasn't expecting the best sketch comedy show I've ever seen. The Chappelle Show is a\the perfect blend of sophomoric and intelligent humor. Dave is just as likely to go for the "look he's shitting on the ground" gag as to make a profoundly insightful view into our fucked up society.

I'm fairly uncultured so I always loved that it felt like he was going to drop an F Bomb the whole time he was on screen. As an added bonus to watching the uncensored DVDs, he does! I especially recommend the Deleted Scenes with the Audio Commentary. Dave and fellow Executive Producer Neal Brennan are fucking hilarious as they crack jokes over them... cracking jokes.

When Dave quit the show back in 2005 I was devastated. But in the years that have followed I've come to really appreciate his decision. While season three was still quite funny, it was definitely the weakest of the seasons. Odds are that we were looking at the same gradual slide we've seen a million times in a comedy as new material becomes harder to think of. In retrospect Dave made the Jim Brown move and left his show right on top, and if I ever see a better sketch comedy show again I'll be shocked.

Exclusive Kurt Sutter Interview

2011-06-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Kurt Sutter generously agreed to a little email interview for DVR Assassin and, unsurprisingly, was quite entertaining in his answers. Kurt's well known for speaking his mind and I think everyone should enjoy this.

First off, is there any truth to the rumor that you married Katey Sagal to guarantee you would be able to cast the best actress on television on Sons?

KS: TRUE. THAT AND SHE'S A GREAT FUCK.

A lot of the writing for female characters in Hollywood comes off as very one-dimensional and flat. Why do you feel your show has been so successful at protraying female characters like Gemma and Agent Stahl?

KS: WHAT CAN I SAY... I WRITE GOOD CHICK.

When I first heard you were taking the show to Ireland before last season I was really nervous that it could have been a mess. Turned out to be a great season, but did you feel like you were taking a huge risk?

KS: ALWAYS RISKY TO MOVE AWAY FROM THE EXPECTATION OF YOUR AUDIENCE. BUT IF YOU DO IT FOR ORGANIC REASONS, I THINK THEY FIND THEIR WAY INTO IT AND ULTIMATELY APPRECIATE THE SHOW MORE. AT LEAST I HOPE THAT WAS THE CASE.

IT'S INTERESTING, FOR ALL THE GRUMBLING HALFWAY THROUGH SEASON THREE, THE GENERAL CONSENSUS FROM FANS IS THAT IT WAS THE BEST SEASON TO TO DATE. MAYBE THEY NEEDED TO SEE WHERE IT ENDED AND DIGEST IT IN CONTEXT TO THE FIRST TWO SEASONS.

What shows on television do you currently enjoy watching?

KS: HONESTLY. I DON'T WATCH A LOT OF TV. HARDLY ANY NETWORK TV (NOW THAT LOST IS OVER). WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A RARE FEW, NETWORK PROGRAMING IS BLOODY FUCKING AWFUL. ALL THAT TALENT, ALL THAT MONEY AND THOSE DOUCHEBAGS KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES YEAR AFTER YEAR. IT'S LAUGHABLE.

I WATCH HGTV. MADMEN, TRUE BLOOD, AND BOARDWALK EMPIRE. I FUCKING LOVE THAT SHOW. TERRENCE IS A SUPER TALENTED CAT.

I’ve enjoyed all the Deadwood alumni we’ve seen so far on the show. Any plans to bring anyone else onto the show?

KS: I'VE PRETTY MUCH USED UP ALL THE ACTORS I LIKED ON THAT SHOW. THE REST ARE EITHER UNAVAILABLE OR FUCKING DEAD TO ME.

Are you still planning to go through with plans to move to custom bikes and away from the Harleys due to the massive bootlegging of SoA gear at Harley shops? Also can we give this a cheesy name like Harleygate?

KS: I MADE SOME NOISE. APPARENTLY THEY'VE MADE SOME CHANGES. STOPPING BOOTLEG GEAR IS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE. I JUST HOPE PEOPLE AREN'T STUPID ENOUGH TO WEAR A THREE PATCH GARMENT IN PUBLIC. DICKS.

Do you already have an “end” in mind for the show? And more specifically do you already see whether Jax is going to escape the outlaw life he was born into?

KS: STAY TUNED.

Will we ever get to see what happened to make Tig so FUCKED up?

KS: WHAT'S THE FUN IN THAT? BACKSTORY SHOULD STAY BACK STORY.

What are the chances Charlie Sheen would still have all of his teeth if he ran his mouth about you the way he has Chuck Lorre?

KS: IT'S A FUCKED SITUATION. MONEY, EGO, DRUGS -- BAD COMBINATION. CHARLIE AND CHUCK ARE BOTH FRIENDS OF MINE. I'VE AVOIDED CASTING JUDGEMENTS. I JUST HOPE EVERYONE COMES OUT ALIVE.

Do you think the increased attention and credit given to the show runners is leading to a natural rise in tension between stars and the show runner?

KS: STARS?

After working on The Shield, a show about a cop going bad, did that have any influence on your first show revolving around an outlaw trying to go straight?

KS: SOA ISN'T ABOUT AN OUTLAW GOING STRAIGHT. NOR WAS THE SHIELD ABOUT A COP GOING BAD. JAX AND VIC ARE/WERE TWO MEN TRYING TO EXIST/SURVIVE IN A WORLD WITH AN INADEQUATE SET OF TOOLS.

Was there ever a moment after you cast Charlie Hunnam that you put on an episode of Undeclared and thought “Wait, this is the guy I cast to be an outlaw biker? What have I done?!!?!” Because I never could have imagined the same actor would go on to play a bad ass so well.

KS: THE FIRST CHARLIE HUNNAM MOVIE I SAW WAS GREEN STREET HOOLIGANS. WATCHING THAT CONVINCED ME CHARLIE WAS MY GUY.

Anything you'd like to tell the fans about what we have to look forward to in Season Four?

KS: KINGS, QUEENS, JESTERS, POWER, PUSSY, GUNS, MONEY

Thanks again Kurt.

KS: THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT, IKE!

What more could I have asked for than that? Lots of profanity, some great insight, and the guy is fucking funny. I don't know about you guys but I can't wait for season four!

You can follow Kurt Sutter on twitter @Sutterink

Kurt Sutter Interview

2011-06-03T11:11:00.000-07:00

As anyone who reads my blog must know by now, I love Sons of Anarchy. So its with great excitement I announce that I just emailed a bunch of questions over to Kurt Sutter, showrunner/creator of Sons of Anarchy. He is a busy guy so who knows when he will get around to it but if all goes well I should be able to post it next week.

We're heading into that lean time of year where TV is harder to blog about for lack of content so I'm going to launch a weekly series of reviews for shows you can grab on DVD starting next week. Just boned up on Chappelle Show just for you guys.

In the meantime I leave you with the Deleted Scenes from The Player Haters Ball:

Cancellation Blues

2011-05-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

I can't sugarcoat it, this has been a tough year for shows if you are unlucky enough to have me as a fan. The list of the fallen grows daily. I'd like to take the time to honor these brave souls who went in the face of our reality TV smitten culture and tried to make a decent show.

The Fallen:

Terriers

Rubicon (Easily my favorite new show this season)

Chicago Code (Tough year for Shawn Ryan, two great shows, two

Glory Daze (If you missed this comedic gem it is your loss)

Detroit 1-8-7

Human Target (Admittedly season two was a bit of a letdown as they hamfistedly tried to appeal to a female audience)

The Good Guys (This was a flat out FUN show. Nothing like it on TV)

The Event (Started out slow and really gained steam. Could resurface elsewhere, but I doubt it)

No Ordinary Family

Lights Out (Boxing movies always a smash. Figured this was a lock for a solid fanbase)

Mr. Sunshine (I'd take this over Friends any day)

My status as a TV Black Widow remains intact. The only consolation is that Outsourced was cancelled. Sometimes you have to just look at the bright side I guess...

I'm sure I missed some great new shows that didn't make it, feel free to chime in under comments and let me know if I forgot anything. Or maybe I missed out on a good show altogether and need to give it a looksy.

Star Wars: Clone Wars

2011-05-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

If you are anything like me Star Wars episodes 1 & 2 took a little piece of your inner child and murdered it in cold blood. (I do however like Episode 3 immensely and consider it to be better than Return of the Jedi) Lucas's horrible dialogue mixed with a ham-fisted attempt to sell action figures to young children alienated most of the original fan base.

Had you told me fifteen years ago there was going to be a Star Wars cartoon I would have been sitting in front of the TV with popcorn for the premiere (unless it was about those fucking Ewoks). But after the huge letdown I completely ignored Cartoon Network's new Star Wars cartoon for the last couple of years.

Fast forward to spring as many TV shows start to go on hiatus and a bored Ike Diamonds decides "I am really bored, what can I watch?". I just figured I'd watch the first one so I could post on here how much I hated it and move on. Fast forward a month later and I have now watched all three seasons that have aired so far (66 episodes, and yes, I do have A LOT of time on my hands).

This cartoon is incredibly entertaining. Its chalk full of light saber battles, the best computer rendered animation I've ever seen, and CLASSIC Star Wars elements. Even better, Hayden Christensen is nowhere to be seen. It takes place between Episode 2 and Episode 3 and follows the Jedi as they lead the Republic in their war against the Separatists.

This cartoon is FAR more sophisticated than the movies as well. It delves into interesting issues like the fact that the Jedi are using the clones as slaves to wage their war. In season two they do a tribute to Akira Kirosawa wherein they actually do an entire episode loosely based on The Seven Samurai (If you aren't a film buff just think of it as The Magnificent Seven).

On top of the usual cast of characters Clone Wars succeeds in creating many of its own memorable Jedi and villains as well. I have always had a soft spot for the bounty hunters in the Star Wars universe and the cartoon showcases many great new ones, and in fact season two is actually named Rise Of The Bounty Hunters.

I spent an entire article crapping on modern cartoons, but I have to admit that between this, Venture Brothers, and Archer there are actually some cartoons that possibly surpass the cartoons of my nostalgic childhood. Anyone have any other suggestions I'm missing?

Bye Bye Michael Scott

2011-04-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

While I haven't exactly been a fan of the last couple seasons of The Office Michael Scott still has brought a lot of smiles to my face over the years. With only two episodes left I can't help but tune back in (OK, the Will Ferrell thing didn't hurt either).

My friends over at Pop Sugar sent me a fun little video showing some of Michael's greatest moments set to a ditty. Fuck, I wish I had the budget for a dude with a guitar over here. Enjoy!

Game Of Thrones Reviewed

2011-04-19T18:15:00.000-07:00

What can I say? It was perfect.

The casting was beyond reproach. Three days ago when I pictured Eddard Stark I saw a tall wirey guy with dark hair. Now all I can imagine is Sean Bean. As for my two favorite characters, the brothers Lanister, they knocked it out of the park. Peter Dinklage is going to be a lot of fun to watch as Tyrion.

Anyone who read the books has to be as blown away as I am. It isn't just true to the book, it is the book brought to life. I'm already excited to see these locations I know so well in the weeks ahead.

Perhaps the most impressive thing about the show is also my largest reason for concern. This show LOOKED fantastic. No crappy CGI, no cost spared on the sets and costumes. So what am I concerned about? HBO has a well-documented history of canceling expensive period pieces no matter how well they are received. Deadwood sits on the scrapheap after a fantastic three season run culminating in one of the most critically acclaimed seasons in history.

Thanks HBO, after only one episode, a roaring success mind you, I am now already prepared to write off my new favorite show.

PS - I'd love to hear from anyone who watched without reading the books first. Was it hard to follow or did you still enjoy it?

14 Minutes Of Bliss

2011-04-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

HBO recently aired the first 14 minutes of The Game Of Thrones premiere as a teaser. As someone who LOVES these books I have to say this: PERFECT.

I'm not sure how HBO does it but they sure throw money at their shows. This completely puts to rest all of my concerns. Done cheaply these magnificent books would look like something off the Sci-Fi network. But HBO doesn't fuck around.

If you aren't planning on watching this show you are making a mistake. George RR Martin makes JRR Tolkien look like Dr Suess. The characters in this series are so complex and fascinating the only thing standing between it being the best show on TV is the matter of cast and direction. So far I feel pretty good about our chances.

Tune in to HBO next Sunday to check it out!

My (Late) Thoughts On Wrestlemania

2011-04-08T21:32:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I was out... THEY PULLED ME BACK IN! (If you didn't get that you suck)

After being free of my wrestling addiction for years I got some bad news. The Rock is back. If you know anything about wrestling you are already DVRing next weeks Raw. If not let me explain.

The Rock is to wrestling, what Jordan was to basketball, TIMES TWO. He is like Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain in the same body. Great on the mic, great in the ring. He has it all. So needless to say, last weekend I tuned into Wrestlemania, and loved it.

Here are some of my random thoughts:

I love heel announcers. They are great for demanding the police come to the arena and arrest the face (good guy) wrestlers for defending themselves.

Stone Cold is like a carny when it comes to catching beers. He gets like nine out of ten one-handed. He would be HUGE at frat parties.

The Rock is funnier than most TV comedies. It is way underrated that he writes his own promos. I absolutely do smell what The Rock is cooking.

John Cena came out to a combo of a Gospel Choir and a DMX prayer. I'm not sure what happened for the first five minutes after that because I blacked out when I couldn't breathe while I laughed so hard.

The Undertaker and HHH are legends for a reason, what an amazing match.

John Cena is popular with middle America for the same reason I bought a Hootie And The Blowfish CD when I didn't know anything about rock music. He is a caricature of what an ignorant person might think hip hop is about. I'd die happy if I got a chance to spit on this fucking clown.

I cannot believe how likable the guy from The Real World is. GREAT heel. And a very competent wrestler.

Have always liked Stone Cold. But his promos always remind me of one of those old Mr T keychains that spit out a series of his catchphrases. This motherfucker NEVER deviates from his comfort zone.

I don't think I have ever seen a bad match involving HHH. Not great with a mic in his hand, but he can make anyone look good. True professional.

Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Michael Cole on a PPV would be a crime. On Wrestlemania?! Get out of here. This should be fodder for Monday Night Raw while they try to figure out some new storylines.

I'm glad they played the entirety of The Heartbreak Kids intro music for once. I never heard the guitar solo before. Was that Hendrix?!

Overall, I'd say I thoroughly enjoyed Wrestlemania. Ridiculous? Yes. Enjoyable? Quite.

Product Placement

2011-03-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

As more and more of the old people die off and the TV audience is comprised by more of us that are capable of pressing buttons clearly labeled "FF" and "Play" networks are increasingly forced to lean on product placement for revenue. Somehow this is a real hot button issue for some of you, allow me to enlighten you.

Television is first and foremost a business. Why did your favorite show get canceled? It was not getting the ratings necessary to sell commercials. Why does CBS make the most money? They pulled off a Walmart and targeted old and poor people to sell to the masses. Does it suck? YES. Does it make money? Absolutely.

Now as the DVR proliferates to more and more households there are two options here. Cable companies can either "brain damage" your DVR programming you to watch commercials even when you want to fast forward to a specific scene in a show much like Hulu. OR you can climb down off your crucifix and calmly watch Chuck eat a footlong Subway sandwich every Monday.

I'm not sure why this bothers people to such a degree, I mean most shows include these shots with little fanfare or in some cases manage to handle it with an amusing wink and a nudge for the viewer.

You know what I hate? Soccer. You what I love? The way soccer handles advertising. One long product placement of an Adidas logo in the corner while the action continues uninterrupted. What a great idea! How about American TV follows this example and I can stop staring at chinless Jared and just hope Big Mike doesn't order a Veggie Delight on this weeks episode of Chuck.

PS - That check better clear Subway! Ch-ching!

What Shall I Watch Next?

2011-03-24T08:45:00.001-07:00

I'm running out of shows! This is where you come in. Let me know what I should watch next! If you have an idea not on my list just leave a comment for me.

I Still Miss Lost

2011-03-17T06:34:00.000-07:00

Ten months have passed and I find myself missing Lost more with each passing month. No show seems capable of stepping up and filling the void left by Lost. FlashForward seemed promising but then it was axed after a mere season (despite me taking it to the streets in the protest you can read about here. The Event is certainly no Lost replacement despite its clear desire to take up the mantle.

Perhaps Fringe is the closest, but as much as I love Fringe it is just not the same. Great show, but it will always be my X-Files replacement, and that is fine. But I still want more Lost. Lost was so much "bigger" than other shows. Anything could happen, the laws of reality were thrown out the window. Was it a dream? Hurley's insane minds very own construct. A Wormhole? Were they on Atlantis? An artificial reality induced by our new alien overlords who live on pot roast and rat tails?! Who knew, anything was possible. What a fun ride that was.

In sports we've been looking for the "next" Jordan for over a decade now. I suspect we're in for a similarly disappointing string of charlatans while we wait for Lost's successor as well.

Breakout Kings

2011-03-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that A & E canceled Rubicon I have decided to give them another chance. After all, its not their fault that our country is populated by a bunch of dipshits who like to watch complete strangers lose weight on a reality show for entertainment. Seriously guys, take a look in the mirror and figure out what the fuck is going on with yourselves.

Thankfully my magnanimous nature was rewarded with a pretty damn entertaining show. The premise is two US Marshals take a group of handpicked convicts out in the field to help track down escaped fugitives. For each fugitive captured the cons get a month off of their sentence. Now this is admittedly a little far-fetched, but then again I watched Lost so who am I to nitpick? Trust me, its better than it sounds.

Our Marshals Charlie Duchamp and Ray Zancanelli, played by Laz Alonso and Domenick Lombardozzi (holy shit, I spelled that right the first time!), don't see eye to eye at all. Charlie's lack of field experience chafes with Ray who has to take orders from him. Each Marshal harbors some pretty serious secrets which will make for great stories down the line.

The convicts involved seem to be in a state of flux. Throughout the first two episodes two have already been sent back to the slammer. The standout convict is clearly Lloyd Lowery as played by Jimmi Simpson (You'll recognize him as one of the McPoyle's on Always Sunny In Philadelphia). He plays a former child prodigy with an IQ of 210. He is pretty much here to solve basically everything while the other people yell at each other. Malcolm Goodwin plays former drug dealer Sean "Shea" Daniels. He has a great chemistry with Jimmi Simpson and I think this pair could really hit their stride together before too long.

After two episodes this show has been a lot of fun. Domenick Lombardozzi is always fun to watch, and it will be nice to see him playing a character that isn't a total blockhead like Herc. Every character on this show seems to have a lot of layers we've yet to peel into and I'm looking forward to the ride.

How I Won The Only Oscar That Mattered

2011-03-10T15:26:00.001-08:00

Every year there is one person you can count on to win at The Oscars: Me. I have done this 35 years running now. How you ask?

Simple:
If The Oscars are on ABC, my TV is on anything but ABC.
You see, its that simple. The funniest thing every year on The Oscars wouldnt make the cut as an SNL sketch. The list of winners is:

A) Completely unimportant. Its not a high jump, these are subjective ratings.

B) Completely incorrect. (Contradicts my subjective argument but fuck it)

C) Usually stacked with arty crap so everyone gets to pretend they have class. Sorry to say, we still all spent ten times as much watching Jackass 3 than the Kings Speech. We arent classy.

When someone asks who won Best Film, the correct answer is "I dont know, whatever Ike was watching while we suffered through this shit."

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Ridiculously Awesome

2011-03-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for something absolutely off the wall for your television viewing pleasure I present to you Jump City: Seattle. Jump City is a weekly Parkour competition on G4 featuring some amazing athleticism and overall insanity.

If you aren't familiar with Parkour more than likely you've already seen it in movies like Casino Royale (the excellent opening scene). Parkour is a French discipline that emphasizes efficient and and fast movement through an urban environment. Jump City's competitions feature two rounds. The first round is purely speed based over a given course. The second emphasizes style giving each competitor a given amount of time to "freestyle" through the terrain.

While the racing is somewhat compelling, the freestyling is where the show gets interesting. The athletes are jumping and flipping in ways you wouldn't think the human body was capable. Parkour takes a unique combination of balance, strength, speed and balls. All of these jumps and flips are done on concrete terrain, making this sport no stranger to broken bones and road rash.

As an added bonus Seattle serves as a beautiful backdreop for the show. if you come from a shithole like portland you can see what a real city looks like.

Troy Barnes Weeps Tears Of Pure Joy

2011-02-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

Until a late night conversation on twitter last night I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only one whose greatest joy in life was to see Community's Donald Glover lose his shit every week.

At the first hint of a freak out I immediately lean forward in my seat, waiting for the awesome to begin. My palms begin to sweat, the corners of my mouth creep upwards in an involuntary reaction, and *BOOM* there it is.

Not only am I not the only one, its a god damn movement. People everywhere are living their life week to week waiting for that next Troy Barnes breakdown to get them through to the weekend. Don't believe me? Check out this amazing youtube compilation someone took the time to put together.

You promised butt stuff!

PS- Thanks to @132_and_Bush for sending this video my way

NBA All Star Weekend

2011-02-20T21:34:00.000-08:00

No other league has an All-Star event that comes close. Something about basketball just lends itself to an exhibition as opposed to baseball (too lame) and football (too dangerous).

The game itself is always semi-enjoyable, lots of dunks, no defense, kind of too sloppy to ever be taken too seriously. But where All-Star Weekend really shines is on Saturday.

A healthy dose of Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley, and Ernie Johnson is funnier than most sitcoms. Add in the surprisingly funny Kevin McHale and engaging Chris Webber and its like a shit-talk tornado.

Notable quotes this weekend:

Kenny Smith when asked about the shoes his students opponent was wearing in a dunk contest replied "Yeah, they're called the Runner-Ups."

Chris Webber after watching Blake Griffin demolish the rim "Light-skinned brothers are coming back!"

Charles Barkley: "I pop viagra like tic-tacs."

I loved the dunk contest this year. Plenty of over the top props and ridicukousness that I know put some people off. But if you can't enjoy a guy jumping over a car while a gospel choir is singing its ass off then you are missing the point of life. Or at the least the point of entertainment...