Dwill's Break

To Rest and Recreation

2025-06-27T19:33:00.004+08:00

When It Rained, It Poured

That’s what they say, right?
The rainy season is here again.
And I love the rain.
It’s oddly comforting.
I like it more than summer, actually.

When I was a kid, I loved sleeping beside my mom on rainy days, especially when classes were suspended. Sometimes, we’d go outside and bathe in the rain—she’d let us play in it (probably because it saved on the water bill, haha).
And after all that fun, there’d be hot sopas waiting for us at home—creamy, warm macaroni soup to fill our cold stomachs. It felt like a warm hug. A comforting reassurance that no matter how heavy the rain gets, something good always follows.

Slow and Steady

The café is doing well, despite the rocky start this year.
I’ve been hyper-focused on making sure our marketing efforts and community-building projects stay active—and slowly, we’re beginning to see the fruits of our labor.

There’ll be some staff shuffling soon, as many of our student crew members take a break. I’ve been actively hiring new faces, and I think we’ve found a few great additions to the team.

Hopefully, with the arrival of the rainy season, we can rest, recharge, and perform even better in the second half of the year.

A Much-Needed Break

Last week, our good friend Christer—who’s currently stationed in Bataan—invited the board gaming club for a quick summer getaway. He rented an Airbnb for his birthday and hosted a 3-day, 2-night board game bash.
It was exactly what I needed.

I haven’t taken a single day off in six months.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been trying to take things slow lately.
To enjoy the moment.
To embrace every chance to enrich my life.

It sounds cliché, but honestly—it’s harder than it seems.

Me and my friend Kaloy traveled from Baguio to Balanga. It was 4AM, and I was still half-asleep. I dozed off during the whole trip. By 11AM, we arrived, and Christer, his younger brother, and our friend Sony came to pick us up and bring us to the house.

Province life is peaceful and slow.
The breeze smelled like freshly harvested rice mixed with a hint of ocean salt.
It helped clear my mind. I felt at ease.

Chris's parents prepared a feast.
I’m on a low-calorie diet—but that weekend, I didn’t care.
The food was heaven. Super delicious.
I hadn’t enjoyed home-cooked meals like that in a long time.
I even joked that I was willing to be adopted if it meant eating that well every day.

We swam, played board games, did some work, ate, slept, and played again.
It was a wonderful weekend—one that left me feeling rejuvenated.

Things I’m Grateful For

I’m grateful for that break in my otherwise monotonous life.
It gave me fresh perspective moving forward.

And just when I least expected it—I got a job offer to work on a project with UNDP and the Philippine Government. I was stoked to find out I was shortlisted!

I’m also working again with my previous NGO on another major project.
It means so much to be given these new opportunities—to share what I know, grow as a person, and learn from each experience along the way.

Looking Ahead

I’ll be taking more time off from work now and then.
I’ve realized how important a balanced life truly is.
I plan to travel a bit outside the country, explore, spend more time with friends—
and enjoy the rainy days life continues to bring.

No matter how stormy things get, I’ll keep walking forward.
And I’ll keep looking for joy, peace, and a better version of myself along the way.

To the Road of Ruin

2025-06-18T12:34:00.004+08:00

How can love turn sour?

That feeling of joy gets replaced by anger.
The once vibrant field of flowers withers,
and the road you both walked is now left in ruins.

Unloving someone—
it’s not really possible.
That’s the hard part.
You still love them,
but not enough to stay and be with them.
So you let them go.
You wish them well.
You move on.
That’s the best thing you can do.

We started with uncertainty.

We had nothing.
We dreamt and chased after dreams in a small room,
with a bed that could barely fit one person.

I had no plans, stuck in a 9-to-5 job.
She was a fresh graduate,
her whole life ahead of her.
Together we faced every circumstance—
afraid, but confident.
We had each other,
through thick and thin,
not necessarily better,
but always together—even at our worst.

We ran blindly into the future,
made a lot of mistakes,
got a few things right.
People wouldn't really understand
the struggles we carried between us.
But we carried each other.

Until one day, we stopped.

We still loved each other,
but somewhere along the way,
we started blaming each other.
We couldn't talk without arguing.
We didn’t even try to fix the small things.
We were too busy surviving,
we forgot how to be each other’s home.
We forgot to rest in one another.

She worked late at night.
I slept on the couch.
I’d wake up as she was just ending her day.
We barely looked at each other.
We stopped talking.
We disconnected.

Chasing dreams has its consequences.
We lost our rhythm.
And our hearts slowly grew apart.

I saw her pulling away,
and I tried—
God knows I tried.
I held her hand and said,
“It’s going to be okay.”

But it wasn’t.

She was already in despair.
She cried every night.
And I couldn’t comfort her anymore,
because it was me who caused the damage.

I’d give anything to bring her back.
But it was too late.
The frustration, the resentment—
it had piled too high.
And we couldn’t climb out of it anymore.

I’d do anything for her.
And now she’s gone.
And I regret everything.

But I need to let her go.
Even though it hurts.
Even though it kills me knowing
I’m not the one who’ll make her happy.

In the absence of love,
all that’s left is animosity,
jealousy,
and quiet hatred.
The road we once walked together
is now buried beneath ruin.

Still,
I’ve learned a lot.
And I’m trying to hold on to that.

I hope I find the strength
to make it through this.
I wish her well.

I just…
I wish it ended in a better way.

But now that all things are lost,
maybe it's time—
time to search for the good things
still waiting to come.

To the battles we lost

2025-06-16T01:59:00.070+08:00

1:08 AM - 06/16/25

It's another round of June–July woes. A pattern, I might add. It's amazing—strangely poetic, even—that I always seem to be celebrating my worst experiences around this time of year. Cheers to that. Let’s add this one to the list.

I tried. God knows I tried to filter my demons. I fought a good fight, It's draining, dragging—and I can feel it taking over. I prayed. A lot. But I’m barely holding on. I'm really anxious about what tomorrow might bring. My slow, inevitable downfall is just around the corner—lurking, waiting for the right moment to strike.

I'm scared.

I tried. I really tried. But it's fucking hard to fight a losing battle when you're destined to fail.

I laughed it off. Somehow, I found a strange kind of comfort knowing that there's nothing left to destroy when I'm gone.

It feels like I have nothing left to fight for.
Like I'm stuck in this windowless room with no escape.
This blog is my only safe space—to tell my side of the story.

My history of mistakes. My flaws. My struggles.

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel

However,

Amid darkness, gentle guiding hands have my back.
This post is edited to thank each and every one of you.

To Myrene:
Thank you for staying up all night and listening to my story.
I promised I’d fight whatever comes my way—and I know I can always count on you.
Thank you for sharing your own stories with me. Thank you for understanding my struggles.
I'm grateful for how far we've supported each other through it all.

To Kuya Morgy and Ate Rhony:
Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for checking in on me. Nahihiya ako that you even got dragged into this.
Your words of advice have kept me grounded—and reminded me that I matter, even with all my flaws and damage.

To Kuya Jay and Kuya Abe:
Sorry din—matigas talaga ulo ko.
But thank you for protecting me, and for trying to help me through this situation.
I appreciate everything you’ve done. You kept me in check.
You reminded me that while our family may not be perfect, we’ve still got each other’s backs.

To my café staff:
Thank you for sticking by my side.
Your messages, comfort, and constant reassurance mean everything to me.
I’m wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.
I’m beyond lucky to have had you as my team.

To my high school friends and business partners—Mark, Bea, Dana, Larla, Del, and Ana:
Thank you for your trust.
I'm genuinely happy we still get to see each other after all these years.
High school was fun—but what I value even more now is the friendship we’ve kept.
Thank you for the kulitan, the conversations, the collective reminiscing—I’ll hold onto all of that whenever I feel down and lonely.
You’re just one chat away, and I’ll never forget that.

To my father:
Papa, I still have so many plans for us.
I won’t give up.
I’ll take care of you.
I just need to find my strength again.
I’ll be better—promise, po.

To the battles we lost—there are casualties.
However, there are also brave soldiers who walk beside you…
who carry you when your knees buckle…
who light the tunnel when your flame goes out.

So long, and good night.
See you on the next blog.

(Edited on June 18, 2025)

To my final joke

2025-06-14T07:10:00.005+08:00

I'm writing this after a very eventful night in my life.

Finally, I can say that I'm free—from the shackles of my past relationship. The weaponized mistakes, the emotional blackmail, the gaslighting, the manipulation… it has all ended.

I feel vindicated.

The Final Joke

It was just a simple tote bag that gave the lies away. Ironically, it happened during a comedy night at the café. I was busy, as usual, when I noticed a tote bag dangling at the corner of a table. She owns that bag. I know it like the back of my hand.

I asked myself—where did this end up? Why does my friend have this? That bag was at the house.

Then it hit me. Hard. Like a brick to the face.

Suddenly, everything made sense. All the signs, clues, doubts I had buried—all surged back. It was a moment of clarity, like a blade to the gut. This time, it felt right. This time, the gaslighting ended. No amount of "sorry" or excuse could cover this.

I sent her a simple message:

“Is this your tote bag? Next time, don’t be so obvious. Making a fool out of me. Kapal ng mukha niyo.”

She replied without hesitation:

“Hineram niya 'yan.”
She said it so casually.

I responded,

“Obviously, you two have something going on. Please lang, not in front of me. Have some respect. Are you even that close? That was from the house.”

She replied:

“Gago.”

Then my so-called “friend” abruptly left the café. Which was really suspicious. As if he knew.

“Di ka na nahiya, syet!”
I told her to just leave.

She looked rattled. Left in a hurry, even forgetting to pay her bill.

At this point, I didn’t know what to feel.

The truth should hurt. It should be fucking painful—to know that someone you loved, and a friend you trusted, both wore masks in front of you.

But then I started doubting myself.

What if I was wrong?
What if it was all in my head?
Just another trick of my anxiety?

I needed answers.
Everything was left hanging.
Uncertainty. Self-doubt.
I had been gaslit and manipulated for so long I didn’t even know what was real anymore.

I ran outside. I followed her. I saw her across the street waiting for a cab. I crossed over and grabbed her hand.

“Bakit mo 'to ginagawa? Anong klaseng trip 'to?”

She didn’t respond right away—obviously shocked. She was just waiting for her cab. I had appeared out of nowhere. Words escaped her.

Then she said,

“Wala na tayo.”

Not the answer I was looking for, but the emotions were already high.

“Why would you do this!?”
I asked again.

She responded,

“We are in a public place, Guill! Mahiya ka naman!”

I let go of her arm.

“Wala naman akong ginagawang masama. Bakit ako mahihiya? Now tell me—kayo na ba? Ginagawa niyo akong gago?”

She shouted back:

“Matagal na tayong wala!”

“Show me the text. Show me the messages!”

I reached for her phone. We struggled. Her bag and my hand were tangled. We were in the middle of the road.

I pulled her toward the sidewalk. She sat down, shielding her phone. I told her to stand up.

Then she started crying, shouting:

“Help! Police!”

She became hysterical.

We eventually got to the sidewalk. I begged her—I don’t want a fight. I just want the truth.

The cab she had booked arrived.
But instead of going home, we ended up at the police station.

She said I hurt her.
I have no long nails.
She showed scratches—clearly self-inflicted during the scuffle.

I swear with full honesty:
I never punched, kicked, or assaulted her.

Weaponized Mistakes

She had this planned.

A stash of old photos from past fights. Kept in case she needed them. Her trump card.

I let her use it. I wanted this to be over.

I’m not a violent person. But she knows my triggers. I’ve been recovering from hyperthyroidism—mood swings, anxiety, short temper.

She would lock me in rooms to confront me. She thrived in conflict. I’d break down and lose control. It escalated. I hurt her. Not because I wanted to. I lost myself.

She always brought up old issues—past relationships, cheating, all long resolved.

I wanted to leave. But every time, she threatened to expose me.

“I’ll post the photos. I’ll destroy your reputation.”

I made mistakes. I apologized. I tried to be better.
But she kept pulling me back into that pit—reminding me over and over:

"You’re an abuser. A cheater. A liar."

But if I’m as awful as you say—
Why stay for six years?

You had the upper hand.
You got what you wanted—new phone, trips abroad, an engagement ring.

I had nothing left.
You had everything to gain.

Pool of Debt

I was wrecked—emotionally and financially.

I tried to save for our wedding. I encouraged you to find work, to help with our bills. But you drained our wedding savings to fund your 2024 trip.

You said you'd pay it back.

Then you kicked me out of the house—even though I was paying rent.

That was a year ago.

You always said we’re “not together” anymore. Sure—literally, that’s true. But we weren’t fully separated either. There were debts, assets, unresolved ties.

Tried to Be Civil

You still came to the café. We still saw each other almost daily. We shared the same circle of friends.

We tried to be civil. To fix the mess. To move on, somehow.

But when you slept with one of my friends?
That's it.

You crossed the line.

You betrayed me—again.

I warned you. I told you our relationship was like a strand of hair—fragile. Yet you kept gaslighting me, manipulating me.

This time, I just wanted an answer. I wanted to be free. Truly free.

The Answer

At the Women and Children’s Helpdesk, the policewoman asked her:

“Do you have a boyfriend now?”

She answered in the coldest tone imaginable:

“Yes.”

And she stared straight at me.
With a look that said she’d won.

But the truth is—

That yes was all I needed to hear.

It’s now on record.

And it’s over.

All the lies, all the pain, all the manipulation—undone by that one word.

She played all her cards.
Used every weapon.
But it doesn’t matter anymore.

That “yes” gave me closure.
It gave me freedom.

I Am Now Free

I see it now for what it is:
Reactive abuse—when a female narcissist pushes you until you snap, and then blames you for your behavior. Never owning up to the abuse that caused it.

But now—finally—

I am free.

To the first half of 2025

2025-06-07T20:18:00.004+08:00

It's June already! Yikes!

A lot of stuff happened during the past year! I posted last May 2024. Naku! Am I on a speed run or something? Starting today, I'm taking things slow lang. I've been caught with life's challenges that I forget to really live and enjoy each day I've been given.

Getting back to the groove

It’s never too late to realize your worth—I learned that the hard way. In many ways, it feels like I’m starting my life over. But this time, I’m choosing to focus on myself.

For so long, I was chasing validation from others. I’ve been gaslighted and emotionally manipulated in a past relationship, and in trying to fit into the mold of “settling down,” getting married by a certain age, and starting a family, I lost sight of who I was.

Sometimes, when I look back on my journey—and revisit old posts on this blog—I feel a deep sense of nostalgia. I miss the version of me who was full of light, curiosity, and authenticity. Now, I’m working on reclaiming that spirit and rediscovering the person I used to be… and the one I’m becoming.

Stages of improvement

This is something I’m really proud of—I’ve been hitting the gym regularly and steadily reaching my fitness goals. For the first time in a long while, I genuinely feel good about how I look and feel.

One of the biggest challenges I’m currently working on is improving my sleep. It's been tough—I’ve been getting low scores in my sleep tracking, and honestly, I didn’t realize how much it mattered. Ten years ago, the science of sleep wasn’t as developed, and the technology to track it accurately was still in its early stages.

Now, I’m honestly amazed at how my sleep data connects to my overall well-being. Grabe! Rest and sleep used to feel like luxuries for me—but now I see them as essential parts of becoming my best self.

Dati, ang mindset ko was "sleep is for the weak" or "okay na yung 5 hours, basta tuloy ang galaw." Pero hindi pala ganun.

I guess now that I’m not getting any younger, I’ve started paying attention to the little things—like what I eat, how active I am, and the calories I burn. It actually feels good and rewarding to see the results of these small changes.

Bit by bit, I'm learning that taking care of myself isn't just about working out—it's about the full picture: rest, nutrition, movement, and mindfulness.

Hobbies and Happy

Aside from focusing on self-improvement, I’ve spent the past year exploring different hobbies and getting involved in communities that bring me joy and purpose.

Pokémon GO Community Ambassador – Baguio

This was definitely the highlight of my 2024–2025. I applied to be a Pokémon GO Community Ambassador, not really expecting anything—just hoping for a chance to give back to the local players and help bring the privileges of the program to a passionate gaming community here in Baguio.

Since then, we’ve hosted several successful events, and the community continues to grow steadily. I’ve made new friends and found a solid, supportive team behind me. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity to give back through a game I truly love.

Up North Comedy

Now this one was a total curveball.

It all started with us hosting open mic nights at the café. Being a theater kid at heart, I found myself missing the stage. My first exposure to stand-up comedy was watching Rex Navarrete’s DVD special during a college sleepover—and since then, I’ve been a fan of stand-up and local comedians.

As fate would have it, John Racho—one of our regulars—pitched the idea of starting a local stand-up comedy group. That’s how Up North Comedy was born.

The group had a slow start, with performances that were raw and unpolished. But John’s connection with the hit comedy group Koolpals helped us refine the talent pool, turning rough diamonds into real performers.

This opportunity reignited my passion for performing, and being on stage again felt like coming home. We recently celebrated our first anniversary show, Lakbai Musika, in La Union last May 30, 2025. What a ride.

Pokémon TCG and Gundam

I also got hooked on collecting Pokémon cards—definitely a case of healing the inner child. If you’ve followed my blog, you’d know how deep that runs. But lately, it’s been a love-hate relationship. It’s tough being a fan when you’re dealing with scalpers and sky-high market prices. It gets frustrating when you're trying to complete a set and stocks are scarce.

So, while I’m taking a break from the TCG scene, I’ve found a new creative outlet: building plastic models and learning to paint miniatures. It’s therapeutic. Finishing a model gives me a real sense of satisfaction, like I’ve slowed down time and cleared my mind—especially on overwhelming days.

I’m also venturing into the Gundam TCG. Fingers crossed it turns out to be a rewarding new hobby.

The Beyblade Boom

One of my favorite unexpected things that ever happened in our café started on an ordinary December day. For some reason, my friend Mark convinced me to try out the new Beyblades. The updated technology and competitive rules made it surprisingly exciting, as he had suggested.

Curious, we gave it a shot. We bought a stadium and a couple of Beyblades to battle it out. I ended up inviting some friends from other hobbies to join our mini-tournament at the café. It was so much fun that it quickly turned into a weekly Wednesday tradition—and before we knew it, the hype exploded.

With all the community building, hobbies I'm doing and network building. I've became quite busy this past couple of months.

The Boardgaming Club

The café has been constantly evolving, adapting to the ever-changing market landscape. What started as an art hub has now grown into the go-to place for all things hobby-related. One of our strongest communities—and a major part of our market—has been the boardgaming scene.

A passionate and ever-growing group of tabletop gamers and enthusiasts has become the backbone of our café. I’m forever grateful to our loyal customers who have become friends, and to the new business partners we've met along the way.

To celebrate the end of the year, we organized a special event: a 3-day, 2-night gaming retreat at an Airbnb. I joked that you could go to sleep with someone playing and wake up to someone still playing—and honestly, that’s exactly what happened!

We're currently planning a summer getaway at a resort in Bataan this June. Fingers crossed it pushes through!

End of the day

When everything is quiet—when the daily hustle winds down, the night breeze settles in, and I’m alone in my apartment—sometimes, the loneliness creeps in. I think it’s natural to feel lonely when you’re by yourself.

Lately, I’ve realized I’ve been chasing external sources of happiness, perhaps as a way to cover up that feeling. That’s why I’m learning to slow down, reconnect with myself, and rediscover what truly brings me joy.

I’m grateful for everything that’s been happening—for the growth, the lessons, and the fact that I’m managing both myself and the business. Still, I hope that one day, I’ll get to share these small victories with someone who shares the same goals and values as I do.

But for now, I'll continue my journey on self-improvement, both mentally and physically.

Thank you for reading. Cheers!

To Expenses and Experiences

2024-05-01T01:58:00.001+08:00

My TV broke down which is a bummer. I love that television. It was my first time winning a grand prize raffle during the holiday of 2019. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I love watching Netflix on that badass. I love playing Nintendo Switch on it even more. It was a bit corny but I did not have much back then and it was the best treasure I could ever wished for.

Makikinood po (Can we watch?)

I'm not sure If I have shared this story yet but growing up television is a luxury we can't afford. If we wanted to watch our favorite program on a Friday Night cartoon we would go to our neighbor's house. We would watch from outside peaking into the window if we were lucky, we would sit in the doorway for the 30-minute glimpse of Power Rangers or Pokemon. I think we are lucky to have good neighbors that allowed us to experience those things, still, it would be nice if we had our own.

Akira and his appliances

I think I'm about 9 years old, we had a TV set. Our first one. Black and white with analog channel switch in a wooden linoleum finish, Our Saturday morning cartoons were filled with color even though it's in grayscale. My dad befriended a Japanese man named Akira. He exports second-hand appliances, repairs them, and sells them in affordable monthly installments. Suddenly, we had a washing machine with kanji instructions, a two-door Hitachi refrigerator, and a Sanyo-colored TV. Disney Mornings with Chip and Dale was in color, Alladin and his carpet are flying together with blue ginie. I could watch all day If only were not "saving" on the electricity bill. We had a set schedule set for watching and for all-day entertainment we had our radio playing in the background.

We needed cash

There were times when we were hard on cash. My mom would sell our appliances just to get by on a rainy day. We need to survive. As a young kid, I couldn't understand why do we need to sell things that we love. The little luxury we have gone. She would tell us that it's broken and we need to get it fixed.

Looking back, It was also hard for her to let those things go. The washing machine helps her a lot in doing the laundry. She has this small frame and doing manual laundry is such a monumental task. The fridge was for our food to last longer so she could budget the little money that we had.

And the TV. The only time she can rest, watch a noontime show, and even watch an anime with me. It was so hard to let of things you love. But we need to survive. We need to.

My mom is so great. She is the best,, hands down I would give everything that I have right now just to see her again.

That's why as much as possible I want my dad to be comfortable. I'm doing everything that I can to give him the things that he needs. I want him to have a good life for the remainder time he has left with us.

It's hard to let go of things you love.

My TV is broken :(

My TV is broken. I'm tempted to repair it, pry it open and see what's wrong. I might destroy it completely. When I was in Manila. I lived in the old apartment building in Quezon City in Maningning. It was a small room,, enough for a single bed and a couple of dressers. It was cozy.

I have this small Sony Bravia TV (which still works btw) that accompanied me in my boring hours. It's now nicely situated in my office in the cafe.

Whenever I look out my window, I can see my neighbor's big ass television. He usually plays modern warfare. As my mind flies into daydream, I often ask myself how would it feel to have a bigass television. How would it feel to play video games in that bigass tv. That night, I went to the mall and checked out some available TV in the market. It was damn expensive at that time. I'm working but I still can't afford things that I love.

Things that you love.

It's funny to think about our attachment to things. I guess it's my childhood trauma that contributed a lot to this story. That's why I'm so happy having that TV for free. Now it's broken. My SO and I are debating whether to buy a new one or just get it fixed. I would love to get it fixed but it wouldn't hurt to buy a new one instead of having future inconveniences that may occur.

We went to the mall just to check if it's worth it. To my surprise. I can fucking afford this fuckers. I can get one right now. It's cheap? Is it cheap? My phone cost more than this fuckers!

I just stood there. I can afford these things. I excused myself went to the joe and balled like an 8-year-old kid who lost a toy. I did not know why I was ugly crying. Maybe because I wished my mom was here to tell her Hey Ma! You want a new TV! Check out this cool washing machine. See! Hands free!

This refrigerator is so huge we can fit a cow in it!

I decided not to buy a new TV. I'll just look for a good repairman. I'll let him/her inspect my old buddy and get him back on working. I love that TV and when the time comes that he can no longer serve me. I'll let him go. I'll buy a new one.

To things we do for no reason at all

2024-04-30T02:42:00.007+08:00

What do I need to do?

Upskill.

I've been "job hunting" for casual work, a side hustle, looking for something to productively pass the time. I've been craving for knowledge lately. My mind is going stale due to the monotony of my daily routines. ( I think) Maybe, I'm just trying to find something worthwhile destructions to keep me sane. A good mental exercise that I'm doing right now is enrolling in various online upskill courses. Our local Ministry of Trade and Business offered free courses from Google to explore.

I tried applying and thankfully I got the account. Although it's time demanding. I wish to finish everything as fast as I can. I only have a limited time to accomplish everything before the scholarship runs out.

I'm having fun actually. Most of the topics I'm familiar with. I have no actual certification. I'm mostly self-taught, actual work collaboration and skills exploration. This would be a big help in adding some skills to my set as an add-on. I may need to change my career or apply for a high-paying project.

I've seen the importance of upskilling, I've been a fan of learning new things and I'm not afraid to try new things, I'm a go-getter type that launches on good opportunities.

In my situation growing up I only have a few choices to none at all, Limited options mean making the most out of it and enjoying the process. Mind you,, I'm not the brightest among the bunch. I get by sometimes and I learned a lot from those experiences. That's why I'm not afraid to try things.

The world progresses in a phase where I need to keep up with the ever-changing career environment. I need to be intuned with the latest skills and programs. In Filipino, mapagiiwanan ka talaga. You'll be left behind.

After this certification, I'm finally aiming for my driving license. I've been setting it on hold for quite some time now...I guess, It's now or never, my friend.

Cheers to self-improvement, to everyone who's chasing their dreams and making small progress towards your personal goal. Let's keep doing what we love and enjoy the journey ahead of us.

To a fantasy realm we go as I split myself into two

2024-04-05T16:40:00.003+08:00

Geeking out, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Last March 22 till 24 was the most unexplainable high I experienced this year. Here's why:

The cafe renovation is in full swing. We have the fund saved up and we are going for it.

Backing out is not an option. The plan is to replace the roof completely. Summer will be merciless as the heat index is expected to rise and southeast Asia is experiencing an El Niño.

Come Sunshine

Our former roofing is a transparent polycarbonate. It was the worst. The low ceiling can't handle Sun's heat just penerates in your skull. We managed to dampen the heat with rattan covers. It provided an added vibe to our dining area. It does its job but is not as efficient as a fully covered ceiling.

Come Rain

Last year was La Niña season and we got hit pretty badly. Leaks everywhere, and water sips every nook and cranny. A lot of merchandise was destroyed. We've experienced indoor flooding, and maintaining and cleaning is a burden. We got blamed for practically flooding the whole building. It was an ordeal.

The Masterplan

Totally remove the old roofing. Replace it with a new metal roof, and slap some insulation sandwiched over a nice wooden ceiling. Easy right? Well...

We need to consider the electrical layout and new lights. The hauling of materials, equipment and manpower. Everything in 3 days! Doable? Yes, with added hiccups.

Why in 3 days?

So while all this renovation is happening we have a Renesance Faire over the weekend. It's a perfect opportunity to close temporarily and divert our energy to operate the food booth. It was our first time to set up a booth and we are just winging this one out. This is an unexplored territory for me and I only have the slightest idea of what to do. The plan is simple: To have a quaint little coffee corner with happy customers managed by 2 staff, while we'll go and enjoy the event. I swear. I have never been so wrong in my life.

WE ARE SWAMPED! Grabe! Dinumog kami which is nice and all but like I said, I did not expect this kind of crowd. We have a long queue that reached the queens stage and orders are pouring in NON-STOP from opening till closing. 2 staff are tasked with meals, 2 for beverages, and one staff who handles the orders. It was not enough. We did not even have the chance to sit down and have a break on the first day of the event. Oh! I forgot to mention! We need to hike a mountain and bring all of our stuff, tables, and chairs to the venue. Setting up was a challenge setting down was just torture haha!

It was our first time and I learned a lot. I'm used to doing things in a controlled environment. Having a food booth is a different kind of monster. Everything is mobile and fast-phased. The customer flow, the kind of food you'll offer, and the quickest way to do it. I'm amazed at how my staff handled everything smoothly. Adjusting right away without direct supervision. They know what to do and have a sense of urgency. I'm lucky. Also, I'm proud to have my fiancée for taking charge and keeping everything in line. I could not do it without her. I love you so much!

Honestly, my mind was on the cafe renovation and half was on the Renfaire. I would like to split myself into two and handle both projects. What am I thinking? Both are demanding and I'm glad I pulled through. I will definitely NOT do that again. If you wish to check the awesomeness of it all feel free to look up #RenfairePH It was fantastic. The landscape of the costumes in the sea of pine trees feels like you are in a video game.

Rest and Recreation

After everything, We had the observance of the Holy week and usually, we're closed during this time of year but since the renovation lasted 6 days instead of 3 days, we opted to operate. Now I'm craving to travel again to recuperate but we still have a wedding to tend to and my dear readers I have not done a single thing about it and It's April.

So, I'm taking my precious time trimming the guest list and exploring alternative ways to have an intimate wedding that won't break the bank. I get to talk to friends and the advice that I got was helpful enough.

So there you go! That's my adventure so far. See you in my next post cheers! I'll just watch some summer isekai release muna. :)

To Boardgames, Friends and Business

2024-02-24T14:56:00.003+08:00

The Early Years

My love for modern board games grew way back when I was working in the metro in 2016, boardgaming cafes are a hit in my area in Maginhawa. I usually visit and I'm in awe with all the games on display. My cousin Kuya Jay back in 2018 invited us on a night out of tabletop gaming in a coworking space/cafe near us. They have a variety of collections that were all so new to me. My first gateway board game is his copy of Catan, an upgrade from my usual Monopoly game. Since board games are not cheap we tend to casually play whenever we are having a family gathering. Fast forward to 2024. During the Pandemic Era, that is the time when we really started buying due to boredom and it started snowballing from there. My collection grew, with a new network of friends, players, and guests with a pile of notable moments to keep.

Since opening the Cafe, we've been trying to capture different markets. It was not easy. I'm happy that we created a community that made this journey less tasking than it should be. It's fun. Doing what I love the most does not feel like work at all.

Looking back I would never ever in my wildest dreams I'd own a boardgaming cafe. To be honest I don't even feel I own anything. I've been blessed to have good people around me. The support that I got from various networks, former colleagues, and high school classmates was enough to keep me standing. We are entering year 4 and we have established quite a brand. Slowly we are breaking the ice. Creating a separate, simple space away from the noise in this highly saturated market.

Now, themed cafes are popping up around the city and we need to step up. This March we are planning to have an interior overhaul. Maximizing the space, adding some sugar, spice, and everything nice.

I just remembered to create some visual posters for the cafe. (writes things on the whiteboard) There! Feeling the job is half done whenever I write it on the whiteboard.

Oh, did you know that during our operations we successfully have 2 students who graduated already. that brings back my working students days. It's nice to give back.

Man, I'm 35. Who would have thought this blog would last that long? Thank you for keeping up with my shenanigans. I'll be writing more about my wedding journey here. I'm excited to share that with you, my avid reader.

Check out my shirt designs for our boardgames, we have this loyalty card promotional thingy where you'll have freebies every time you dine in and I love designing things so yeah here you go.

Cheers!

To Happy and New Year and Explosive gastroenteritis

2024-01-19T11:39:00.001+08:00

Fireworks, Lechon Belly and Bathrooms.

Our Holiday ended with a bang, especially in our stomachs. It was quite unfortunate that there was a massive number of cases of gastroenteritis in Baguio during the holiday season. On the other hand, I had a "holiday flu" accompanied by an upset stomach.

Dad and my niece Ashton went here in Baguio after Christmas. I promised my niece that I'd buy her an electric guitar if she did well in school. To celebrate her achievement I also treated them to a nice eat-all-you-can buffet in SM, the biggest mall in my city.

Ashton drank soda and my dad was drinking beer and ordered a bottled water. Jam and I on the other hand got juice and soda. It was a bountiful meal and we went home at around 11pm, this was the 27th of December.

The very next day, the 28th of December. I went down with a high fever, endless cough, and explosive diarrhea, I checked on my dad and Ashton, and they were okay. Thank God.

The plan was, that we were bound to leave on the 29th for Jam, my fiance's home province. We waited until I felt a little better and traveled 30th instead. Jam is a bit unwell yet she dismissed her light fever and she's also feeling a bit woozy during our trip. We arrived safely and we had a good rest in Tabuk, Kalinga.

December 31st: I'm feeling a bit okay at this point, but Jam now has a fever and upset stomach at this point I'm wondering if we had eaten or drank something bad. Then news broke out that there was a spike in gastroenteritis cases and the common denominator was the water at the mall.

So the city conducted numerous tests to determine the root cost and it was disgusting. Fecal Coliform was detected. Tangina. If this was in the other country we could have sued that stupid mall!

(Check out the news here)

So, Jam recovered after a day or two. We went to the farm to check the pigs. They are so cute and huge, too bad we need to sell them to be lechon. This year's "star ng pasko" or the trending food this season was Lechon Belly. Maybe because It's easier to roast it with the wide selection of convection ovens in the market. We tried making one and it was not the best maybe we need to tweak the recipe on our next try.

2024 will be a busy year with us. Our wedding is coming up and we need to plan it. This is it. I can't believe I'm at this point in my blog that'll write about a wedding. It was funny to think that I just used this blog as an avenue for my rants and whatnots and now we are here in the next chapter.

Thank you for reading my blog. Looking forward to more updates! Happy New Year guys!

Cheers!

To my Lolo

2023-11-11T01:38:00.001+08:00

Hindi kami talaga close ng Lolo ko. Sya yung tipong hindi niyakap ang mga anak at apo nya, masungit at nakakatakot. Bata palang ako, ganun na pagkaka-kilala ko sa kanya. Siguro kasi malayo loob nya sa amin dahil di naman sila in good terms ng tatay ko, rebelde kasi yun at naumay na siguro sya sa kunsimisyon sa panganay nyang anak.

Pero habang tumatanda ako, naiintindihan ko sya. Hindi madali ang mga naging diskarte nya sa buhay pero ano pa ba, andian na eh. Nahihiya ako sa kanya. Di ko sya alam kausapin, pero tuwang tuwa sya kapag nagpapakilala ako ng nobya ko sa kanya. Nabubuhayan sya ng dugo pag nakaka kita sya ng maganda. Pilyo kasi yun. Nasa Thailand ako noon, nabalitaan kong hindi na maayos ang lagay nya. Naawa ako sa kanya, ayaw nya pa-ospital pero kailangan, 98 na sya at konting sakit sobrang lala na ng tama. Ito na ang end game nya. Hindi narin masama. Swerte narin sya at umabot sya ng ganun katagal. Bonus nalang talaga kung umabot sya ng 100.

Narealize ko tuloy, anong legacy ang pwede naming magawa para sa kanya. Araw araw meron tayong kanya kanyang hamon kailangan harapin pero yung pag-alala sa mga mahal natin sa buhay parang after thought nalang sa sobrang bilis ng usad ng panahon. Madaming panghihinayang, pagkakamali at mga sana na di na din natupad. May kwenta pa ba kung susubukan mong buhayin sila sa iyong alala at mga tradisyong mag-uugat sa kanilang pagkawala.

Kapag nabisata ako sa Probinsya, malaki ang kulang. Wala na si Lolo sa bahay. Nakakapinabago pala.

Kung meron man akong mesahe sa lolo ko siguro sasabihin ko lang na wag syang mag-alala. Susubukan naming maging maayos parin ang pamilyang sinimulan mong ibuo. Kaming mga Apo mo ang tataguyod ng iyong pangalan. Ikaw ang OG, ang matatag na puno ng bawat saling lahi namin. Pahinga ka na. Kami na bahala. Mahal ka namin.

To Thailand!

2023-08-24T21:03:00.004+08:00

Sawadeekrap!

Tama ba yun? Hehe Hindi nyo naitatanong eh isa s bucket list ko ang makapunta ng Thailand at uminom ng Chai Beer. Gusto ko nga dati Tri-Country backpacker ang trip ko. Pero dahil meron akong project dun last June,, pinalad naman tayong makagala with pay. Magrereklamo pa ba ako?

Pero grabe syet kakaibang trip ito. Aside sa shopping trip ni SO, meron MJ trip din dahil legal nga dun yung chongki. Edi heaven. Pero joking aside, marami akong natutunan sa batas nila pagdating sa recreational drug.

Edi tangina, go naman ako. Syempre minsan lang naman. For experience lang. Ayun medyo iba ang tama haha ang sarap matulog, ang sarap kumain,, ang sarap mamasyal kahit sobrang init. Parang Manila din, iba nga lang ang salita at hindi rin pala dominantly english sila. Napagtanto ko na ang swerte pala talaga ng turista sa Pinas, di na mahihirapan kaka translate.

Ayun so habang nag wowork, marami naman ding pwedeng gawin medyo hindi ko na plano yung mga pupuntahan kasi nga di naman 100% pasyal ako. Medyo matagal din ako sa Thailand 2 weeks din bago kami umuwi dahil humabol pa kami dun sa isang international expo.

Nag enjoy naman ako sa Thailand, next time na babalik ako dito, alam ko na kung ano ang gagawin ko at syempre handa ang mga maleta para malagyan ng mura at magagandang quality ng damit.

To being a kid again

2023-06-25T17:56:00.004+08:00

Hey Mickey, you're so fine.

I'm the bug-eyed kid in the last row

I always associate theme parks with festivities. When I was young, we always visited our keen in my father's province during the town's fiesta every summer. The highlight of our trip was the "Peryahan" or the town's mini carnival. Those memories made my childhood awesome. The thrilling death-defying rides, the smell of carnival food in the air accompanied by the lights, and the screams of people. Music to my ears. That is why I love going to theme parks even though I'm now technically an adult. Healing my inner child, so they say. I guess it's a good excuse to bring those childhood wonders and thrill back.

To Vacations and Frustrations

My SO and I planned this trip with my dad and my niece. I want to treat them to an out-of-the-country escapade. My niece's passport did not make it time for the trip. So, we shifted our itinerary to finishing our theme park run on the first day and exploring Hong Kong with my dad on the second day.

On the train going to the park, my excitement was off the roof. I'm really happy that I got this chance to visit the happiest place on earth. This only exists in photos and videos and I can't believe it. Now I am here. I got overwhelmed and I cried a bit. I looked away and hid my face in my camera viewfinder so my SO won't notice.

You see, growing up we did not have much. Leisure and vacations are privileges we get to enjoy whenever our relatives invited us.

To feel the heat of the moment

The Hong Kong summer was unforgiving. It was hot and humid. It drains your energy but that did not hold us back. We explored every nook and cranny. Lined up for our rides. We are sweating like a pig by the end of the day and love every minute of it. Next time we will schedule our trip during the cold season. Some rides and parts of the park are closed (bummer) but hey, it's another reason to visit again!

To infinity and beyond

All in all, it was an eventful trip that I will never forget. I'm happy to explore a whole new world with my significant other. We learned a lot about each other on this trip. I get to be patient and learn to accept my mistakes and miscalculations. To be attentive to her needs. She also knows how to calm me down now and It feels good to have someone to depend on. It was an unchartered territory for us and our first trip abroad. They say, traveling brings out the worst and best in people and I'm really glad to be on this journey with her. Cheers to more adventures together my love!

To 2023's First Quarter Misteps and Milestones

2023-05-20T20:00:00.009+08:00

2023 First Half

Naku, I've been sluggish lately, staying up late and waking up at noon. Acid reflux is a pain. I'm starting to suffer all the neglect of starving myself back in college. I need to take care of myself more.

Staying away from fast food.

It was my primary diet for the past months since the workload has been piling up.

I'm too lazy to prep for a decent meal. All those fatty foods, sugar, and not-so-active lifestyle contributed to my abrupt weight gain. Now I'm struggling to manage it. Haay :(

Relationship woes.

The past couple of months was not easy for both of us. There has been a huge strain in our relationship that we are trying to mend. The good thing about this is we are there for each other even though times are difficult. She never gave up and kept on fighting, weathering this storm we are in. I on the other hand was lost and confused looking for answers. We are still figuring things out and adjusting our attitudes on how we tackle life's challenges.

Business as usual.

One of the milestones we have this first quarter of 2023: We have reached our first million in gross sales! I'm so happy that we were able to reach this level in our 2nd year of business. Year zero was just awful, we hardly got to break everything even. Looking at the numbers it was a lost cause. In year one we manage to gain traction, we bumped the marketing, made some new partners in the board game community, and found our niche market. We manage to renovate and got some new equipment. The sigh of relief rushed over me when I saw the financial report for the first quarter of 2023.

It was a slow start but now we must maintain and hopefully push the boundaries and explore untapped markets.

Weebs Dream

Aside from an art cafe, we manage to capture the rising popularity of cosplayers here in the city. One of the events we had was a maid cafe. The theme was from the popular game Genshin Impact.

Tea Time

I can't wait to tell you this story: I'm going to write it in Filipino, feel free to translate this if you wanna know more about it.

Medyo controversial ito, pero feeling ko kailangan ko syang ikwento kasi isa sya sa mga stressor ko this first quarter ng 2023. Medyo kumikita na yung cafe, pwede na nga iwan. Hindi narin ako masyadong tutok dito kasi kaya na nyang tumayo sa sarili nyang paa (naks) pero from time to time kailangan parin ng gabay at patnubay para quality parin.

Hindi narin kami gaanong nagkakaroon ng events unlike nung mga unang taon. Kasi kaya naman na ng revenue ng cafe i-sustain yung operations. Para sa akin good yun di rin kasi madaling gumawa ng event. Paminsan minsan nalang at mas maayos pa kasi hindi rushed.

Maganda din kasi na focused and strategic yung mga ginagawa namin para hindi kami mag bleed ng resources lalo na kung mababa ang turn out.

Nagkakaroon din kasi ng confusion at conflict kapag may mga events na hindi na plaplano at hindi na eexecute ng maayos.

Dito na papasok yung kabilang branch. Honestly napapansin ko na nahihirapan sila. Nag reach out naman ako para tumulong, kaso ang dami nilang problema na parang ayoko muna maki alam, nag hahanap ako ng tamang timing. Bigla silang naglabas ng line up of events. Hala halos walang natuloy sa 10 nilabas 3 lang ata ang natuloy. Which is hindi maganda sa brand. Madami na nga silang events minsan nag ooverlap pa sa aming niche market.

Gusto ko sana meron paring separation ng identity at branding. Malapit na nga, parehas pa.

Dun nagsimula yung di pagkaka intindihan. I called them out, magkaka ibigan naman kami. Pero wala naman nangyari. Kaya parang dumistansya nalang ako at simulan ulit naming i-build yung identity namin.

Dahil siguro dito, nag pile up narin yung fraustrations ko dahil meron silang mga management decisions na sablay. May mga utang sila na nadadamay kami, kasi hinahanap sila sa amin. Malay ba namin. Dumating pa sa point na parang scam na nga eh. Front nila yung business para manghikayat ng mag iinvest para mapagtakpan yung mga utang nila. Dahil investment yun, walang kasiguraduhan na may babalik. Iniisip na nga namin na magpalit ng pangalan para di madawit eh. Pero syempre it will cost us too.

Aside sa financial woes, nagkaproblema din sa permit. Dito aminado ako na nahighblood ako. Nung nagpro-process kasi ako ng business permit nagkaroon ng conflict at miscommunication. Ay grabe, pinag mumura ko sa galit yung manager nila. Pano ba naman kasi turuan sila ng turuan. Ayun pina-police ako at pina barangay. First time kong mapunta sa presinto para magpaliwanag. Nanginig kalamnan ko sa galit pero humupa naman. Inis na inis kasi ako. Pero mali ko yun. aminado ako na naging emotional ako at hindi ko na control yung mga sinabi ko dun sa tao. Kawawa naman.

Medyo meron akong anger management issues ngay, kaya ganun haha kaya iniiwas ko na yung sarili kong magalit kasi hindi ko na macontrol. Yung kaso ko pala ay unjust fixation. hahaha!

Ay grabe, sinasabi ko sayo hindi din ako nakatulog ng ilang araw dahil dun. Ang lesson lang siguro dito na napulot ko, dapat take charge ka kung ikaw yung owner. Kasi walang bukambibig yung friend ko kundi yung manager. basta may mali yung manager ang tinuturo, ngayon nung sumabog ako napag tuunan ko ng baling yung taong yun. which is wrong kasi kapag management level dapat internally meron grievance committee at issues management sa isang organization.

Ginawa na rin namin yun sa aming munting company para maiwasan yung gantong insidente.

Ayun lang, di ko alam kung tea sya pero kung gusto mo malaman ang buong kwento tawagan mo nalang ako.

To Boracay and Birthdays

2022-09-04T17:40:00.006+08:00

My SO booked a flight to Boracay a few months ago during a random seat sale. I almost forgot all about it and rushed to book our hotels for a 4-day and a 3-night stay.

The process of getting into the island post-pandemic is tedious. Preparing the necessary documents can be daunting, to say the least. Budget preparation and planning activities are not a walk in the park either. It's Jam's first trip to the island. Good thing she knows what she wants and helps me figure things out. I must admit, when it comes to creating an itinerary was not my strongest suit.

The day of the travel

From Baguio City, traveling to the airport is a convenient, 5-hour drive and we are at the airport. My body was still jagged from waking up in a bus slumber I hurriedly checked in for an 8am flight. When we were at the departure area I forgot that most food establishments were in the withholding area.

Hungry, we decided to have our breakfast at the pricey Cinnabon. Price to pay for lousy planning.

Good thing our flight was on time and we arrived on the island safe and sound.

Sea, Sand, and Fees

Before we reached the island we need to undergo checkpoints that bleed money. Terminal fees, Fares, Environmental fees. Something never changes I said to myself. I came prepared with my cash on hand and we stridden checkpoints like a pro.

Boracay Baby!

It was surreal, I knew the place but I still got lost in it. It was my second time visiting the island. It feels familiar yet it's different. A lot of development had happened. It's still beautiful and captivating. There is this certain charm unique to these shores that mesmerizes me every time.

I like how the previous administration regulated and rehabilitated the island. It was a party wrecked before and now there is a sense of serenity. One factor might be because of the limited number of tourists post-pandemic.

However, there are still a lot of tourists who don't even care about managing their own trash. Then there are a lot of tourist traps and merchants that are out to drain your cash out.

Imagine you chill on the beach and vibe with nature when suddenly some random dude will offer you activities. Like what the heck was that.

Aside from this, everything went smoothly.

To 2022 Business, Hustles and Work

2022-03-13T18:42:00.001+08:00

January 2022

After my short gig during the onset of the Presidential Election, my SO and I went to her home province in Kalinga to celebrate the new year. The pandemic, restrictions, and lockdowns made us go on revenge travel. Finally got to travel again. Spending the new year with her family is warm and welcoming. It was nice to see them again and I'm happy that my SO got the chance to be with her family.

February 2022

During the Chinese new year, our friend Rodz know a thing or two about numerology. He gave us our Bazi ( I dunno if I spelled it correctly) and creepy as it may seem at first, every detail was on the spot. He advises that I should be prudent on my plans on expansion and upgrade on business, I have a strong metal element that translates to money and I should be wary about empty gossip.

I claim that this year would be great for the business and for self-improvement.

March 2022

Here we are! Panagbenga 2022 is good to go and we are gearing up for it. The business is doing well, my team is great and we are managing it pretty damn good. I have to say, my SO is a good business partner. I really adore her social skills and her capability to be a manager. Slowly, I'm trying not to micromanage. I'm focusing my efforts on marketing strategy where my expertise is.

I'm also venturing into NFT Art. I'm going to share that on this blog soon.

Also, I'm trying to get into this job, Interviews will start next week and I'm up with big contenders. This job is about the game I love to play. I really wish I get hired. Wish me luck!

Cheers!

To the Rain, Moving out and a whole lot of Fears

2021-08-10T19:11:00.001+08:00

The Weather

It's been raining here in my hometown for almost 3 weeks now. I love rainy days. It's comforting and annoying at the same time. I like the sound of the rain, it helps me sleep. I like the coldness of my bed and the warmth of my blanket.

Although, my laundry is piling up and my shoes are wet and smelly it did not bother me. Everything will be perfect if I have the state of the art washing machine. Yep, I'm a Tito that wants this budol home buddies things. I really hope I can afford one.

Speaking of home buddies, I'm planning to move out in my current appartment. It has a lot of history and I'm really thankful for it but I guess It's time to find a new place. Preferabbly a two bedroom unit where I can set up my home office. Finding a new place is exhausting! Some postings don't alow pets. Eh I have a big fat demanding cat. Other listings are too expensive, too far from the central business district. All of this things are put into considerations. Finding a perfect place is hard. Yet, I've been stuck here for too long and I need to put more effort and move out as soon as possible.

Fears

I got sick and it's really bad. Well I'm still on medication for my tyriod, and the weather might be the one factor that contributed to my immune system dropping and haven't been eating properly. I haven't got a flu since the outbreak and I'm really cautious about it.

My SO, Jamille, felt uneasy, she manifested flu like symptoms. First tought was she got the big C. However, her nose started to bleed and rashes. She went to the hospital and confirmed it was Dengue. After that I also got the same symptoms. I thought I'm going to die. It was bad. Getting sick, all alone in this kind of weather is the worst combination.

When my SO was feeling better, she took care of me. I'm really greatful for that. It took 2 weeks for me to fully recover and I vowed to eat healthy and properly because damn I'm not getting any younger bruh.

To Coffee and Beyond

2021-07-02T13:22:00.003+08:00

Not in a million years I would see myself managing my own business. For months now I’ve been attending a business class under the Philippine Center for Entrepreneurship Go Negosyo with Department of Trade and Industry’s Kapatid Mentor Me Program.

I'm going to share my short speech during our graduation ceremony.

Every end has a new beginning. Today might be the last day for as students of KMME, but I believe our learning will start from today.

I went on this program like a deer-on-a-headlight. I am a blank canvass, a block of stone ready to be sculpted by the masters of the trade. True enough, there are a lot of industry leaders that shared valuable insights and we tried to absorb as much as I we can, and we enjoyed every minute of it.

I believe that life’s best teacher is experience, our mentors went beyond the boundaries of digital medium and help each and everyone of us to be the best in our own chosen businesses.

Here we had our own share of excitement, heart aches and challenges that we will carry along in our life. We are grateful to the people who went above and beyond for us during our time here.

We are excited to apply all the things that we have learned. In our little way, we will be able to give back to our country’s economy, now more than ever. Kudos to us, first batch of KMME Online.

Thank you DTI, PCE, Go Negosyo, and Mentors.

Friends and Coffee

2020-09-17T17:00:00.001+08:00

Friends

Nestor, Jeff, Janice, and I were workmates before we became friends. It's rare to find a lasting relationship with people you used to work with. I am happy to have those people in my life.

I remember like it was yesterday when we goof around and make day-off plans. Now, everyone is busy with their endeavors. Few years ago, I attended the wedding of Nestor, while Jeff invited me to his daughter's baptism but I was in Manila at that time. Janice on the other hand is happily married to the love of her life. Nestor and Janice are our regular here at the Café. They usually spend a lazy afternoon here. Nestor now owns a small printing press with 8 to 10 employees. He usually consults me regarding layouts and art stuff. Janice is a building manager and a real estate broker. We are also working on a multimedia advertising project that would help her boost some of her listings. Jeff is the chief operations of our former company and he constantly travels to Tuguegarao and Isabela for the company projects. It's a rare occasion that we got to share one table and talk about our life over a cup of coffee.

My woes, Magic of Cats and a Birthday Jam

2020-09-16T17:23:00.007+08:00

It's getting colder, rainy season and tropical cyclones lingers and whenever it's raining I feel a bit sad. I blame the gloomy weather. Lately, my recovery has been a roller coaster ride. This prolonged pandemic here in the Philippines contributes greatly to my anxiety. I tend not to watch news because it's depressing AF. If only I have a powerful passport, I can hop on a plane right now and start a new life somewhere.

Stuck

I make the most out of my life now that I'm turning 32 soon, in less than a month. Yikes! I'm not afraid of getting old, not everyone reaches this point. But somehow my progress is a bit slow. I tend to ask myself, where should I be right now? Did I make the right decisions back then? Should I act like an adult now? honestly, I don't know.

The cafe is in a limbo, the property management is giving us a hard time when it comes to the rent. We are barely surviving and were not even done in the first year of operation. I'm still learning the ropes. I'm not good at this but I'm giving my best. Most of the businesses near us are closing. One by one they are dropping like flies. I feel this overwhelming pressure to keep the operation going. My staff need this. I need this. It's easy to throw in the towel and call it quits. So every day, I fight to keep things afloat. Hopefully, there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Fighting the Demons

My night terrors are back. I often wake myself up screaming again. Maybe the stress is making my mind weak. On the good side, I'm getting fat again yey! Now time to gain some muscle. Home work-outs are okay but my Cat, Solo sheds a lot of fur during this time so it's irritating sometimes but I love that cat. Whenever I feel down, I think he can sense it. He would meow to the top of his lungs, roll to his belly and demand a belly rub. This would calm the shit out of me. He knows his cuteness has power over me.

Birthday Jam

My SO frets about her birthday this past week. Everyone does that when they feel a bit older. It's a right of passage. So as any responsible and loving BF, I planned a little surprise party for her. Contacted all of her friends here in Baguio. Ask my tita to cook her favorite and I knew she loves cake so I bought two of her favorite. She's been working hard lately so this little reward suites her. I've never done this before so I'm a bit nervous myself.

I asked her little sister to "distract her" last Friday, since she's expecting it to be on the 12th of September, I set my surprise on the night of the 11th.

I never knew that balloons cost so much haha!

She arrived at the cafe at around 5PM. She's a little bit shy and didn't know where to hide when everyone started singing. She found me and tried to sneak behind my back while saying thank you to all her guests. That was the most precious thing I saw that made everything worth it. She never had this kind of experience. I'm really glad I get to pull this stunt. The day ended with a band performance and I ended up carrying all the cakes at home.

The NCCA Omnibus Film Project 2020

2020-09-07T16:46:00.006+08:00

Big Bag in a Small Jeep

For the Love of Production

After all this years, I'm back behind the camera. Directing, writing and producing a documentary. It's been a long time and the rush of excitement fills my heart. I missed this.

There is this hanging doubt that lingers behind my mind. It lingers asking questions if I can pull this project in one month tops. I got scared and anxiety kicks in and grew quickly and it was difficult to manage. Today would be the end of the first week of September and I need to pushed through with the production. I mustered enough strength and tried to write my draft script this week.

I manage to finish it and I'm happy with the result. I guess I still have it. So I'm writing this blog post as a reminder sheet to the things that I need to do and to look back if ever I need to write a accomplishment report. :)

This week had been a research filled quest. I barely have enough and I still need a case study. I still don't have a lead but If I went down to Itogon maybe I'll have a better chance of finding one.

I have talked to my friend, Dianne, a former colleague who's based in London to get some filler shots for me. I know it's a bit ambitious but the London shoot is crucial in my story. Hopefully we can pull this off.

I'm in a bit of a hurry since my story revolves around the city of Baguio during the quarantine period so I need to finish my city shots before they open the city.

Also, I don't have all the equipment with me at the moment. I might need to borrow, beg and buy some of it. hahaha!

I'm optimistic I just hope there are no major set back.

Also, Jamille's birthday is coming up so I've been juggling two things this week. But that will be for another blog post.

so, Cheers!

How to Survive 2020

2020-07-18T13:40:00.001+08:00

JANUARY 2020

The year started slowly, it seems everything is going well for me. Although I quit my job at the government agency (again) I ventured into business and became my own boss. I had a good start then when everything seemed to be going well for me, another hurdle was about to smack me right in the balls.

FEBRUARY 2020

The cafe is taking shape, we named it after our highschool alumni group that focused on outreach and giving back through the community through arts. This was an awesome exprience. I have no idea how to manage this one, but i'll learn one step at a time. ^___^ I took barista class to enhance my skills to better handle the cafe and I am proud to say that I have unlocked and achieve it.

During this time, my weight dropped at an alarming rate. I'm not sure why, so we went to see a doctor for a check up. I got really scared. Various test was made to figure out what's wrong with me.

My savings went to the cafe and the bar which I invested in. I forgot to save some for myself. I'm barely hanging on and this sickness was such a big blow to me, financially and emotionally.

I found out that I have a hyperthyroidism. Same sickness that took the life of my mother. I'm battling a new monster now while my depression still active and lurking in the shadows gaining strength ready to pounce back.

Good thing I have my significant other, holding my hand through this ordeal. I've never been grateful.

MARCH 2020

The world is fucked up. After a month of opening the cafe, we are forced to close down during the COVID19 Pandemic. Limited supplies and no income this will be a Since I'm high risk, I stayed isolated. This gave me time to rest and recover. Continuing my medication hoping thiss too shall pass. Home Quarantined. I never thought I'd experienced this in my lifetime. I have read stories of plagues that spread out through history. So now all we got to do is wait it out and sanitize!

APRIL 2020

The New Normal. Slowly we are getting back at our feet. Although the threat is still present. We have adjusted to the new normal. The old world is gone and we have to live with our facemask on and sanitizers in our pocket. Still recovering and getting better. I'm gaining some muscle back. Getting pogi again haha.

MAY 2020

My cabin fever is in all time high. My depression kicks in and my anxiety grows bigger by the day. To distract myself I have turned into boardgames! Yey! Bought and played Catan, Splendor, Coup, Expanded the Unstable Unicorn deck, bought new ones like House on the hunted hill, Dead Winter and Pandemic.

It helped out a lot. I have done my follow up check up and the results are improving :) Thank God. I have resumed working with the NGO, building website and doing social media works. It's not full time but it pays the bills.

JUNE 2020

The Cafe is now operational, there are a lot of safety standards that needs to follow. We complied and hopefully we'll bounced back. The customers slowly shows up, there are days where we have zero sales there are days where we get by. I thank God for every day for the blessing and for the good health. I feel better now, although I'm still taking up medicine to keep me in fighting shape hehe.

We bought a laptop! Hooray! TufTap is the newest member of my gadget family! Now I can do more work! Like what my SO said. " It'll pay for itself" Now I can bring my work here at the cafe. I came to realize that this would be my first ever laptop. I never owned one before. All of the things I used to have was given to me by the agencies I worked with. hehe Good job Guill.

JULY 2020

Here we are now! I'll give updates from now on. I'll keep this blog rolling again. I missed it. It's therapeutic. Maybe I'll start a podcast or a youtube channel. I'm hyped!

My next goal is:

Buy a Nintendo Switch ^___^ That'll be my birthday present. What a goal haha!

The virus is still present and it'll still be there until a cure have been found out. News broke out that the historical bubonic plague outbreak in China. Yeah' 2020 has been written in our history as the worst year ever. But! Whatever happens, stay postive, don't forget to do what you love and treat everyone with respect.

Cheers!

Anime Quaratine Watchlist 2020

2020-07-17T13:30:00.001+08:00

I have an isekai fever this past couple of months.

Isekai (Japanese: 異世界, transl. "different world") is an "accidental travel" genre of light novels, manga, anime and video games that revolve around a normal person from Earth being transported to, reborn or otherwise trapped in a parallel universe or fantasy world.

Aside from the shonen classic like Log Horizon and Overlord that focuses on a fantasy world in a massive online multiplayer game. My first recommendation is a one of the best anime I watch this year.

Bofuri: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense.

This one is a gem in all its glory. Even non-game-themed fans would appreciate this clever anime filled with laughs, adventure and outrageously over powered character.

Meet Maple, a new player that's so careful she'd maxed out her defense so she wouldn't get hurt (just like what the title mentioned haha) Sound such a great plant right? Probably unconventional and troublesome in the gaming world but Maple was able to pull it off in the most hilarious and cutest way possible.

Runner up: Overly Cautious Hero

Ascendance of a Bookworm

It's not the most catchy title and expect no hard hitting actions, a slow phased anime that has a heart. I really enjoyed this anime during the quarantine period. We follow the main character named "Main" She's lovable and a super book nerd. She was transported into this magical world where books are really expensive and precious. It's been her mission to become a librarian while doing so, she's affecting the world she's in. Not as exciting as you might think. But this one was well written and satisfying to watch.

Runner up: Didn't I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?!

The Rising of the Shield Hero

Yup, this one slashes its way into this list. Really popular series I watched this on it's first release until the end of season one. Men! This is such a treat! Character development at it's finest. Although some plot points might be resolve in the upcoming season. It's a complete dish served with enough redemption that will keep you wanting for more. What I love about this anime is the justifiable rise of the shield hero.

Runner up: Wise man's Grandchild

Happy Birthday Post!

2019-10-11T17:14:00.002+08:00

Cheers! That is my usual spiel at the end of my blog.

It's a celebration, a message that you have finished ready a whole-lot of piece in my unsettling mind.

Today, I want to send my gratitude to you my unknown reader, internet lurker who happens to stumble upon this stranger's blog. Thank you.

I'm 31 now. It's a bit strange. When I was younger I thought, 31ish are old dudes. When I was in elementary, our teacher made us write an essay about our life goals. I vividly remember I have set 31 as my marrying age. That'll have child at this point and a bit successful in life. I imagined that I'll be a peaceful transition to adulthood.

"How do you even define success you little runt!" scolding my younger hopeful self.

"Jeez, old geezer! chill the eff out!" younger self hitting back.

I guess my younger self has a courage to fight head on.

Happy Birthday to me!

It's not the best birthday, I don't feel excited whenever this day arrives. I guess, I don't see the point in celebrating.

I'm grateful to all the overwhelming social media greetings. It was unexpected, I thought no one will bother at this day and age. I guess I still matter to them.

You might think it's stupid to greet someone on their special day. I'm one of you. Yet this year it's a bit different. Our social media is cluttered, we have been given all this information yet we lack wisdom. A simple comment means someone gave time to greet you. Someone wishes you to be happy on your birthday and they mean it. That is something. I needed that.

My significant other, was relentlessly cute, she sings this Phineas and Ferb birthday song, she practiced and memorised the lyrics then sang it the whole day. She greets me every minute, in happy tone, cheering me up and all giddy and excited. It's contagious. Maybe she felt my gloomy aura.

My mom visited me in my dream, I hugged her tight. I'm really happy to see her. She's so beautiful. She look so happy. I felt a kid again. I miss her.

I never told my SO about this but my mom used to sing to me too. Nonstop. in my Language "Makulit" din. She tickles me, showers me with kisses. She was contagious too! I see a bit of her with Jam. I'm thankful that she's here. on my special day. spending time with me. Honestly, that's all I could ask for. Nothing more, Nothing less.

2019 has been fair to me. To be honest, I thought I'll never be here,. I did not even think I'll reach this age. I thought I was a goner last year. I guess I'm still grateful to be here blogging.

so again. Cheers!
No list for this year. Sorry to break tradition. I'll make one next year.

Cats make me happy (^^^)(=^___^=)(^^^)

2019-08-28T15:38:00.002+08:00

August na!

Homaygulay! Ang bilis ng panahon, sa sobrang bilis di ako makahabol! Hanggang ngayon nag-ca-catch up parin ako sa mga pangyayari.

Hokey pa naman ako, hindi narin ako umiinom ng antidepressants. Tinatabi ko nalang yung pambili ko ng gamot para sa cat food. Haha! Meron ang pet cat. Dalawa sila actually, Binigay ni Justine, classmate ko nung highschool, science class sya, arts kami basta common friends! Tatlo itong pusang ito, si Princess Lea, Han Solo and Luke.

Bagong ligo ready na po ako -Luke Skywalker

Hinihingi ko ay isa lang, si Han kasi sya ang pinakamalaking pusa sa lahat. Pero binigay ni Justine sa akin yung dalawang boys. Okay naman, until daw may magustuhan ako sa kanila.

Syempre natural, gusto ko na silang dalawa! Nakakawala ng stress kasi sila mismo stressful! hahaha! Riot tong dalawang to' Si Luke napaka kulit, gala pa! lumabas ng unit at 2 araw di ko mahanap. Akala ko siopao na yun pala nasa second floor nakitira dun sa kapitbahay na marami ding cats.

Si Han naman, tahimik, nasa sulok, pero malambing sa kanyang little brother. Takrot (takot) sa tao at may anxiety din gaya ko. Mahilig sya sa madidilim na corner, hindi sya lalabas or kakain dun lang sya. Kaya feeling ko si Luke lang ang alaga ko. Sya lang nahahawakan ko, nalalaro ko at madalas ko din mapagalitan kasi nga napaka kulit!

Nung tumagal tagal, nakapag-adjust na silang dalawa, unti unti narin lumalabas sa lungga si Han. Nasusuklay ko narin yung buhok sya. Aba! Dapat lang! Ako nagpapakain sa kanya. Wala syang utang na loob hahaha!

Nung mga isang bwan na silang dalawa, super well adjusted na at madalas mo na silang makita pakalat kalat sa unit. Malaki naman yung unit, kaya nakakatakbo takbo sila. Pero grabe yung amount of furr! Kaya pilit ko silang sinusuklay, para kahit papaano mabawasan yung unwanted fur...

Han Solo. Solo na for reals.

Eh' kaso naglalagas ata sila kasi mainit, ayun! bawat sulok may balahibo! Ang ginawa ko, pinapaliguan ko sila tapos syempre need i-blower dun na ako nagkakasugat sugat sa kalmot. Sa Pagpapaligo, walang problema. Dun naman sa blower session, naku maghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan!

Nung kailangan ko ng lumipat ng bahay, medyo namroblema ako. Kawawa naman itong dalawang pusa. Kailangan, isa sa kanila ay humiwalay na. :(

Ang hirap! huhuhu, ayoko ng goodbyes, napamahal na sa akin si Luke, sya favorite ko kasi nga close na kami nung Day 01 palang. Si Han naman, kahit nna takrot, eh, malambing din naman kung trip nya, hindi makulit, reserve spirit at parang laging pagod haha kagaya ko.

Kailangan ko na mamili, at di ako maka decide. Tinawagan ko si Mark, yung kaibigan ko since highschool... Sabi ko kung gusto nya ng pusa, paki alaga sana at bahala na sya kung sino sa dalawa yung may feel nya na may connection sila hehe. Ayaw ko mag decide.

Pinili ni Mark si Luke. Okay lang, di ka mahihirapan mag-alaga. Nakapag adjust narin kasi si Han a akin. Kawa anamn sya kung panibagong adjustment na naman.

Bakit ko ito kinukwento?

Siguro may natutunan din ako sa experience na ito. Minsan, kahit mahal mo, darating yung point na kailangan mong mamili para sa ikakabuti mo. Good or Bad, may mga desisyon sa buhay na kailangan gawin dahil yun ang binigay na sitwasyon.

Pwede ko naman sila ikeep, pero mahirap para sa akin nalang silang dalawa sila sa maliit na bahay. The situation dictates na kailangan talaga. Buti nalang pumayag si Mark. Kaibigan din nya si Justine, mahilig din sya sa animals hehe. Alam kong nasa mabuting kamay kung sino man ang pipiliin nya.

Kinuha sya si Luke, napakaharot kasi. Takot sa ibang tao si Han kaya di sya lumapit kay Mark. hehe

Mamimiss kita Luke! Salamat sa mga araw na pinapasaya mo ako. Kay Han naman, salamat at pinili mong mag stay. haha ngayon mas makulit ka pa kay Luke, gusto mo lagi super pet sessions, groom sessions at kain sessions! Super spoiled na sya at siguro naramdaman nya na ang attention ko eh nasa kanya lang. He can eat all the treats he wants. He can get all the kamot sa noo na walang kaagaw.

At lalo syang tumataba at lumalaki.