E-Journey Chronicles

2010-05-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

The Pursuit (EJC 43-4)

2010-04-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

There once was a girl who was the oldest of four children. She could have been any girl but she wasn't. She was special but she didn't know it at the time. This girl believed that being able to survive an in home pedophile, being abandoned by her father, learning to live with an alcoholic mother, surviving life on the streets, overcoming teenage domestic violence, fighting through and misunderstanding the battle of sexual orientation, suicide attempts, stepping into drug use and teen prostitution was an everyday affair. She did not understand that her response to these things were preparing her for a life she could not begin to imagine.

She went on to drop out of high school at 14 only to be shipped off down south to live with extended family. There she quickly learned where the drugs were, where the men were and how to keep living the lie that said everything was ok and normal. She was a smart girl with a knack for writing and the ability to read through a book within a few hours in a day. She went on to graduate from high school a year early with no after school homework assistance or program to help the underprivileged. She chose not to walk the aisle for graduation because there was in her mind no one interested in attending on her behalf. She had long since moved out from living with extended family and convinced a number of young men and women to care for her. There was nothing wrong with this in her mind because that's just the way life was. You did what you had to do to survive.

She was bold and unafraid of anyone; willing to fight at the drop of a hat. She had a slight build, a quirky nose, bright eyes, a big smile, a quick wit and a mouth that dripped sarcasm with every other breath. She was gentle of heart with a bone crushing exterior that belied the truth underneath. She was forceful and charismatic; she carried a huge presence that outweighed her small build. When she opened her mouth people listened. She did not stop to wonder why. She was used to people doing what she asked or told them. She did not understand that this was evidence of who she would become, what she was called to do and how she would be called to lead. Her personality left little room for the foolishness and stupidity of people. She had a low tolerance for anyone who displayed ignorance, rudeness or selfishness.

This girl had big dreams but never understood how they could ever come to pass. Thankfully her mother believed in education and fought through her own issues to ensure she had the opportunity to learn. This girl was known in every local bar and by every local drug dealer. Her mother had a credit line with each of them. Many days this girl did not attend school because she was making the rounds with her mother and holding on to the cash. Late at night this girl would dream about a different life and make up stories in her head about the future. She thought for a long time that education was the answer to all of her problems and that like a magic wand her problems would dissolve once she completed college.

This girl finished high school down south, went back to the city and promptly fell headlong into an extended time of drug use. Amazingly she came out of that period, realized she needed a change and went into the military. She was married within a year and over the next three years gave birth to three boys. Her problems never went away but she learned how to mask the pain and continue to survive. She kept being drawn to church but did not understand why. Whenever she asked too many questions about God she was made to understand she should shut up without ever being told to be quiet. She felt empty and lonely every day and could find nothing to fill the wide gaping hole in her soul.

No one ever guessed how badly she was hurting. No one asked. No one offered to help. It was probably her fault. You see she was so good at seeming to have it all together that no one thought she needed any help. She was used to caring for everyone except herself and she was damn good at it. So good at it that even if help was offered she would not have known how to accept it, but she spent many nights silently crying herself to sleep. She relived her life over and over again wondering why there was so much pain and hurt. She was constantly trying to figure out what she could change about herself to make her life easier and less painful.

One day she was given the opportunity to invite Jesus into her life. She accepted the invitation and believed that her life would dramatically change. She was right of course; it did change. Poor, silly, uninformed girl. No one told her that the forces of hell would be unleashed against her and that everything she had buried for years would begin to leak and then spill the hell out making a complete mess everywhere. No one prepared her for the small minded, judgemental, ultra conservative, single perspective christians she would encounter; and certainly no one explained that the church was an institution that had been infiltrated by satan thousands of years ago. It was unfortunate for this earnest young woman who had four small boys at the time and was divorced that she was so uneducated in the hierarchal system that controlled the church. She was totally unprepared for church politics.

She came in speaking the truth that she saw with her eyes, heard with her spirit and felt within her soul. In a short time she was earmarked, stereotyped and rejected. She was so earnest for God that she did not realize what was happening until it was done. Over the years she learned how to protect herself in a different way. She did not openly fight but she started a prayer group of intercessors. She prayed and prayed and prayed. The strange thing was that the problems in her life seemed to multiply instead of decrease. During this time she got married again and had two more children. Still the problems increased. She could not figure it out. She tried talking to the people in charge but most did not have time for her. She got the feeling that men thought she wanted them and women just did not like her. She wanted to scream and yell. All she sought was answers from people who seemed to know more about God than she did.

This young woman was desperate for change. She could feel the tidal wave of suppressed issues rising again to the top just waiting with anticipation to overflow again. She was afraid. She tried to convince herself that the war she seemed to be in was normal that every christian experienced a multitude of trials and that she was not doing anything wrong to warrant the attacks. She never quite believed that because she could find no one to validate what she thought in her heart and believed she heard in her spirit. At some level this young lady began to believe that the words spoken to her when she was young were true; "that she would never amount to anything and no one would want her". She had fought against believing those hurtful things all of her life, but now even being a christian was not enough to stop the pain.

One day the flood came and she drowned. She did not die but she could no longer live the same. Something within her died that day. A part of her faith was crushed and demolished but she vowed not to give up. There was something, a whisp of belief that encouraged her to keep believing inspite of what her life looked like; so she did but it became apparent over time that she was wore out with trying to keep the faith. She became discouraged, disheartened and completely depleted by life. Somewhere along the way she mostly gave up but kept going through the motions. For some reason she could not completely let go of her relationship with God. She kept talking to him even when she did not think he gave a damn or was interested.

She told God everything about him that was unfair and wrong. She made demands and issued ultimatums then took them back and told him she quit. This went on for years. In the meantime life ho hummed along and she just accepted that her life would always be difficult, strange and overwhelming. None of the prayers of intercession seemed to be working, decreeing and declaring sounded empty, walking in faith was exhausting and reading the word felt like her toenails were being pulled out one by one without anesthesia. She kept on going and going and going. Eventually, she found ways to cope and manage and still be in control of her life.

She was tired of seeking deliverance, healing and restoration for things she was not allowed to talk about over the pulpit let alone in small group classes. She figured out that most christians wanted to be left alone within the mess of their own lives rather than find a way to freedom. She mused that perhaps they knew something she did not. No matter how hard she tried she could only settle for that type of thinking for very short periods of time. Eventually God came after her. He was always pursuing her, hot on her trail. She tried hard to ignore him but he was relentless. She was confounded; why wouldn't he just leave her alone. Her life was a mess, internally and externally, many people even close friends had decided long ago that she must be doing something wrong to suffer so much. She just wanted peace. The kind that comes with living a low key, non-confrontational, go with the flow life.

God wouldn't leave her alone. He would speak to her all the time and then suddenly be quiet for no apparent reason. He always seemed to shut up when life got really, really bad. But even when he wasn't talking he was talking. Everything he had already said would repeat itself over and over again in a thousand different ways in her life. She was sick to death of being a christian. Plum tuckered out with being friendly to nasty, back biting, judgemental folks and just wanted to be left alone. The day time was better; she would be busy at work and then with the family so she could ignore him and all of his ploys to get her attention and draw her back in.

Night time was hell. He would enter her dreams. Wake her all through the night and remind her of his constant presence. She was strong though; this girl had survived so much pain and rejection that she was sure she could outlast him. She ignored his plea for fellowship claiming that she was too tired and would meet him in the morning. She learned how to hear him without listening, to see him without watching and to feel his presence without responding. This girl's heart was tired of being hurt, rejected and having the life squeezed out of it. She was determined to prevent continued hurt at all cost. She figured that life had not gotten better with him so what was the point of living fully for him. Even though she could never bring herself to openly deny or reject him, despite being unable to completely disengage from him and unwilling to completely sever ties with him she determined to keep a part of her heart for herself and to never let him in again. He had proven that he could not be fully trusted.

She was always fighting with him now. She wanted answers, she wanted truth and she demanded change in exchange for his requested devotion. Within one year her life went from bad to beyond worse. It seemed like every single demon from hell was sent a personal invitation with her name on it. The invite was filled with explicit instructions to destroy her life and her faith no matter what it took. She failed every test sent her way, gave in to every temptation that hit her doorstep and seemed to live up to every thing she despised in other people. Every week there was a new attack on a different area of her life; every week she found herself falling farther and farther away. She couldn't pray, couldn't fast; and everything she thought she knew became unfamiliar. She was beyond a mess. One morning she decided that she was done; completely and forever done with Him.

This girl that had survived so much and overcome so many obstacles was tired as hell and had no fight left in her. She was wrung out and hung to dry. She felt beaten to a pulp with no energy left to even reach for a tylenol. She was weary and burnt out; tired of living what felt like a lie and sick of preaching and teaching to people who didn't want to hear it. She felt like a hypocrite whose life did not seem to reveal the glory of God anywhere and was sure people would be filled with glee to see their initial predictions about her come true. She did not care anymore. This girl was sick and darn tired of trying to live up to standards that she had not set. She was disgusted with trying to fight against the stereotypes forced upon her. She was depleted by the effort to continue encouraging others while watching her own life disintegrate. All the while still seeking someone to mentor and walk with her who would not try to change her into them.

This girl walked away from God that day.

As she lay in bed that night she could not sleep. He was there. He did not say anything but he was there. She could sense him, feel him, hear his heart beating for her. She turned her back but he seemed to fill up the room. He invaded her space without ever saying a word and then she had a thought. What would life really be like without him? She thought about his presence and a wave of lonliness engulfed her. A darkness began to creep along the edges of her consciousness and she realized that without him the light within her would dim until it faded out altogether. She began to understand that a little light with him held back a darkness far greater than the human mind could conceive. She did not know how she could understand this she only knew that she did.

Her heart began to beat fast and her pulse quickened. Her mind was flooded with images of her railing against him, shouting and cursing and accusing him at the top of her lungs. She trembled as she recalled her ultimatums and her own broken promises; her lists of requests and demands. She cringed as she was reminded of her blatant disobedience, pride and arrogance. She wondered why she was still alive; and in that moment she understood by the space of a sliver one layer to the depth of his love. Her breath caught in her throat and she choked back tears as her chest was wracked in pain. She wrestled with the covers wrapped around her and stumbled out of bed. She made her way to the peace of her living room and fell to her face. She cried and apologized and repented and begged for forgiveness. She confessed the filth of her life and her complete inability as a human to fix or control anything. She gave up her right to a life she had not earned and blessings she did not deserve and then she just wept. She wept until there were no more tears but only dry heaves. She wept until she could think of nothing more to ask forgiveness of. Then quietly he spoke without speaking.

His presence filled the room and she cried tears of relief and welcome. She accepted her brokenness and realized that from the very beginning of her life he had been present. She had not only survived but thrived because he had chosen her long before she took human form and walked this earth. She had fought to live because he had given her strength and a desire to live. She had not succumbed because he had sustained her without her knowledge. She had overcome because he gave her wisdom that she had never understood. She had held on to him because he was always close when she needed him to be. Her eyes were opened when he revealed that he was requesting from her everything he provided her with to survive.

He wanted everything and in order to get it he allowed this girl to come to the end of herself so that she could unclench the control she had of her life. This girl was exhausted and broken. She quietly with no fan fare gave up control. She acknowledged that she would probably try to snatch it back again and he responded that he already knew that but would be patient. This girl knew deep down that this is what she had been searching for all of her life and that she was finally in the place she was supposed to be. Her life circumstances might not change easily or perhaps not at all but she would change. This girl knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was more in love with this God than anything or anyone else. She was still scared of the future but it was different. She knew he would do what was best for her and she knew that he would never abandon her. She was scared of not being in control but more scared of losing the love of her life.

This girl was and is me. I am deeply in love with him and nothing and no one can change that. He and I are building a life together that may not make sense to others but it doesn't have to. He knows who I am and everything about my past, present and future. He is teaching me to trust him. I want to be so much further along than I am but he refuses to be rushed. One day at a time he reveals my importance to him. I still fuss and fight but without the energy or anger I used to have. Deep down I understand that he is working out of me all of the impurities and imperfections that mar his image from being revealed through me. It is often painful and makes me sad that there is still so much work I require but he encourages me and affirms my value. I am still often plagued with bouts of doubt, fear and confusion but I am rarely overwhelmed by them like I used to be. I mostly remind myself of who he is and who I am in him. Most of the time this helps but sometimes I just have to put one foot in front of the other and pray to make it to the next day.

I am only just now beginning to understand who I am in him. The importance of my uniqueness and the special qualities he has endowed me with. I often wish I was younger and had more time to live out all that I am learning but I am then reminded that he chose to reveal himself to me at a time preordained. He is more than the love of my life. He is my existence. I have no desire whatsoever to live without him nor shall I ever willingly choose to do so. I don't know what the future holds but honestly it does not matter. As long as he is a part of it I know that life will have meaning. I continue to stumble through life but I am no longer controlled by fear. Fear does exist and remind me of its presence but then my Love reminds fear of his protection and care for me.

Life is not easier and it seems that it may never be; if that is the case then I still have no complaint. I know that this work that he has begun in me will be completed. On a preordained day the truth of who I am in Him will be revealed to the world; when Christ who is my life shall appear then I shall also appear with him in glory! Until then, I will offer him my love, my trust, my tears, my anger, my hope and my fears because to offer them to others is pointless. He is the only answer to the healing I am still so completely in need of. I no longer need the validation or acceptance of others. I am who I am and I am still being conformed to his image. I will never be able to fully please others or live up to the unrealistic and unbiblical standards set by the church but I will live a life pleasing to God. What he requires is not my perfection but my submission. That alone consumes enough of my time that I don't have much left to waste on worrying about what people think of me.

I will let others down. I will hurt people. I will make make mistakes. I will at times be overcome by temptation. I will prove over and over again to you that I am human and while you may not like it; and might in fact demand I live a perfect life because I preach, I am so thankful that I no longer feel compelled to live up to a standard God did not set. I have learned that people usually want me to live up to an image they struggle to attain themselves. I no longer have the strength or desire to create any sort of image for myself or for others. I can tell you that it is a great relief. It is more than a breath of fresh air to release control of mylife and its outcome into the hands of one more capable than I. His process still drives me nutty but that is a part of my journey as well.

I am struggling with lots of issues even as I write this. I pray every day for deliverance, and healing and wholeness and the list goes on. I know that it will come when I least expect it. My focus is on living for today and praying with hope for tomorrow. I have lived a life of suffering and struggle but I have also experienced much joy and peace. My joy and peace may look a little different but it is there and for that I am ever grateful. I remember vividly the pain of my youth and the desperate attempts at survival. So much so that I would rather live everyday with Jesus and continue to struggle with whatever issue I have than to reject him and try to survive this world alone. There are so many things I wish I knew how to share. I believe the lessons I have learned could help others. One day at a time though. I have to move slowly; he is my strength and without Him I falter and fail. When it is time I will know. Until next time think on this:

The path you take to submitting to Him is filled with signs of his purpose and plan for you but it still requires your active involvement.

Expressionsofjoy

copyright 4/2010

A Deep Breath

2010-04-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes accepting the truth about something does not always bring a sense of closure or healing. At least not right away. Maybe the sense of closure being sought may never be acquired. Deep breath right there. Perhaps the healing that comes does not result in receiving what is desired. Another deep breath.

Why does accepting the truth have to hurt so bad sometimes?

The deep breaths have not yet brought peace to the fact my husband has terminal cancer BUT they let me know I am still alive. So....I take another deep breath and pray that tomorrow will not be the day I have to accept a truth I am not ready to live with....

Until tomorrow: Keep taking deep breaths and without realizing it one day you will be breathing normally again.

Take Action (EJC 43-3)

2010-04-18T19:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life calls for action that is difficult to take. Often we are unprepared for what seems to come out of the blue. Truthfully if we take time to reflect we might find (but not always) that there were all kinds of clues and indicators fighting their way through the muddiness of our lives to capture our attention. We are surprised when catastrophe hits, we are surprised when great things happen. The question arises as to what are our expectations? It is true that many people are able to get through life unscathed but the numbers in comparison to those who don’t are extremely low. So then, if that is the case why are we not more prepared to respond to whatever life brings to us?

Maybe it is the “it cannot happen to me syndrome”. Maybe it is the human tendency (especially us Americans) to think we are invincible; that somehow and someway our experience on earth will be different than everyone else. Perhaps we are awestruck by our own beauty and talents, so much so that we convince ourselves that those things are our ticket to forever happiness land. Is it all possible that fear may be the culprit? Could it be that our avoidance of sitting with tough issues, our resistance to facing painful truths about ourselves, our denial of the reality another may live in all stem from fear? If that is the case then we should at least attempt some half hearted answer to the question of why?

Why would fear be at the base of our surprised response to life’s events? I believe we are afraid of losing what we have, never gaining what we desire and facing the difficult task of change related to both. We hope catastrophe does not hit because we do not want to deal with the awful process of grief, pain, recovery and healing. We hope to gain the desires of our hearts but often do not want to do the kind of internal work necessary that moves us closer to our goal. We avoid pain at all cost. It is the human response to survival. We resist change that does not come with an upfront guarantee of providing us with what we long for. We deny the pain of others and often the joy as well for fear that acknowledgement would require us to make some type of moral commitment to be involved.

Sometimes life calls for action that is difficult to take. Sometimes we are forced into a place where we can either face what life brings or retreat into a defensive stance. I am not suggesting we should live with an ever present expectation of doom but I am suggesting that we should intentionally live with a broader understanding of what living means. Is our expectation of the life experience so narrow that we only consider what feels good? According to the bombardment of media messages we receive each day the answer seems obvious. Feel me, touch me, love me, kiss me, hold me, give me money, make me happy, give me sex, give me more, give me bigger, make me laugh, do it my way, listen to me, see me and hear me. All of these messages produced in a million different ways thousands of different times have launched us into a mostly narcissistic existence; and do you know what is so sad and pathetic? The majority of us would much rather stay in that state of existence than venture into the realm of genuine living.

Hell, I obviously do not have the answer to all of life’s problems but I do have some. I can say that and confidently mean it because of the life I have led. I hate pain but I have lived through plenty of it. I am afraid of rejection but I continue to reach out to others most unlike me. I have tried over and over again to change many of my life circumstances only to be pushed further behind and deeper under but I choose to press forward making the most out of every opportunity. I am strong emotionally because of my continued choice to accept what life brings all the while determined not to remain crushed by catastrophe or overly inflated by any level of success. I have watched the last two generations become morally and emotionally weaker; consumed with the need to satisfy self at all cost. Our public policies, parenting strategies, spiritual endeavors, educational focus, financial goals and community experience have all worked together to create a foundation shuddering under the weight of self focused, arrogant, narrow minded humans. Many of us actually believe that prayer alone can bring forth a difference.
To them I say, If Moses had not lifted the staff the water would not have parted and though the angel responded to the prayers of the righteous, Peter still had to get up and walk out of the prison he was being delivered from. Yea, I got an issue. No doubt about it. Sometimes life calls for action that is difficult to take. My issue is that most of us are not ready, willing or even interested in action at all; that my friend is a sad testimony to the human experience whether you are a Christian or not. I am taking action are you? Why don’t you share with me how.

Until next time think on this: Your lack of action is responsible for everything that drives you nutty during your time here on earth. If you really want to see something change, start with yourself and then answer the call for action that may be difficult to take.

The Transparent Life (EJC 43-2)

2010-04-17T07:16:00.000-07:00

There is a cost to living a life of transparency. Not everyone can do it and most people don't want to. The freedom that is afforded to others when you live a transparent life cannot be measured. The impact reaches far beyond what can be seen, heard or felt; it reverberates up and down threads of relationships you are unaware of. It's unearthly sound rings in the corridors of heaven, stopping Angels and heavenly beings in their tracks to listen. It is like the awe inspiring sometimes fearful sound of waves breaking against a rocky shore. Those waves pound and pound and over time the rock gives way, becomes smooth and is reformed.

Living a life of transparency is a choice. Well for most of us it is; if your connected to Hollywood or the music industry to some degree the choice will probably be made for you. As I said before not everyone can do it and most folks do not want to. Sharing the truth of who you are can be scary business especially if you are more invested in presenting a perfect life and particular lifestyle than creating long lasting, honoring relationships built on trust and integrity. When your focus is being in control, knowing all the answers and having it all together there is no room for transparency.

Does it matter?

Well I think history shows us that it does. I could talk about great names but why don't you just take a moment to think about your own history and the people who fill it. Who are the individuals you had the most respect for? I am sure the answer is the ones whose lives where congruent with the words that they spoke. It is an inevitable result of how our humanness works. Ultimately we have the most respect for those who live out what they believe and stand for the truth that guides their lives; even when their truth goes against the grain. We may not agree with it, we may think they are loony or just plain ignorant but at the end of the day we know who we are dealing with. That makes all the difference in the world.

Transparency lends our lives to the purview and examination of others. The intentional choice to live that type of life is not made lightly. It has its risks and challenges and will require a commitment to something and someone more important than your title, position, public personae and life style. Transparency is a call for integrity. It is a call that when answered will compel you to examine your thoughts, actions and beliefs before they are ever revealed to others. The call for transparency demands an answer for selfish decisions and deceitful manipulations. Intentional self analysis is painful and can be frightening. Let's be real; no one wants to be masochist. The thought of self inflicted pain is absurd under the best circumstances. Let us also be aware of the results when the call for self analysis is resisted or denied. The consequences of operating in a state of willful resistance to self truth destroys relationships and erodes trust.

The kind of integrity derived from a life of transparency is life changing. The call to transparency requires an unabashed detailed evaluation of all the junk in your life that creates internal and external havoc for you and others. The call cries out for retribution and change. The answer to that call will bring you to emotional and spiritual places you did not know existed. The answer will drag you from your self imposed pedestal of pride and arrogance to a place of humility and repentance. When you decide to answer the call to transparency then you can answer the call to living a life of integrity. When you intentionally live a transparent life integrity is pushed to the surface even when it does not want to be. Once again, not everyone can do this and most people don't want to.

Transparency is not a call to share every detail of your life or each mistake that you make. It is a call to acknowledge your shortcomings and faults, acknowledge your lack of understanding and wisdom, acknowledge your fear and anger, acknowledge your shame and guilt, acknowledge the truth that begs to be hidden under sheets, beneath pillows, between books, within cracks and crevices and shoved into dark, almost forgotten places. The acknowledgement of these things allows the light of unashamed truth to be shed broadly across the landscape of hidden and often unacknowledged pain and emotional bondage. Keep in mind that acknowledgement is only the first step.

Integrity can only be lived out when there is a deliberate decision to walk in the type of accountability designed to bring about significant change. Integrity propels us from a stance of what may be profound acknowledgement to concrete actions focused on redemption. I'm referring to the redemption of self, relationships, families, neighborhoods, communities, cities and towns and our country. This kind of integrity keeps you in a continual place of self awareness aimed at connecting your hidden issues with your external living. The reason why you make certain decisions and your ability to justify those decisions are all connected to what is hidden in you. The issues themselves may not be resolved but this type of integrity expects movement past acknowledgement towards some level of healing and restoration.

Webster defines integrity as honor and uprightness. It also defines integrity as completeness. To me this is profound. A life of transparency that boldly acknowledges the truth within you and how that truth impacts you and those in your sphere of influence allows you to walk in honor and uprightness. It also fills you with a deep sense of contentment because there is nothing left to hide. That type of freedom brings emotional healing and acceptance of self. These two things combined bring a completeness that cannot be easily shaken by outside forces. Most if not all of us want to be complete. Unfortunately, up to 95% of what we watch on television, listen to on the radio or surf on the web is content crafted to ensure the emotional demise of ourselves and those we are connected to.

Until next time, think of this: Every decision you make changes the life of someone. If you count how many people are in your direct sphere of influence and how many are connected to them and so on, you bear the responsibility of many more lives than you care to admit. Like it or not you do not live in a silo. You were born to be in relationship with others. Every single decision you make changes the life of someone else.

God speaks to the one who listens,

K. Joy Williams-Eckwood
expressionsofjoy copyright 4/2010

E~Journey Chronicles 43-1 - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:39:00.001-07:00

E~Journey Chronicles 43-1 - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!562.trak"

Life Interrupted - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

Life Interrupted - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!547.trak"

Find the Meaning - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:38:00.001-07:00

Find the Meaning - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!461.trak"

Update on Terry - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Update on Terry - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!454.trak"

To my White Sisters and Brothers - Love on my Mind - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:37:00.001-07:00

To my White Sisters and Brothers - Love on my Mind - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!444.trak"

Speak - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

Speak - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!442.trak"

Weary - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:36:00.001-07:00

Weary - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!441.trak"

Update on Terry’s Progress - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

Update on Terry’s Progress - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!440.trak"

Releasing the Sacred - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

Releasing the Sacred - Windows Live: "Weblogs that reference this entry"

From Glory to Glory - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:34:00.001-07:00

From Glory to Glory - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!431.trak"

Show Me the Love - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

Show Me the Love - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!412.trak"

When the Unexpected Happens - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

When the Unexpected Happens - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!404.trak"

Doing What Comes Natural - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

Doing What Comes Natural - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!402.trak"

Two Truths and a Lie - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:31:00.001-07:00

Two Truths and a Lie - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!399.trak"

Reality and Faith - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

Reality and Faith - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!397.trak"

The Question - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:30:00.000-07:00

The Question - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!145.trak"

Another Days Journey - Windows Live

2010-04-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

Another Days Journey - Windows Live: "http://expressionsofjoy.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!797962034BA3A48!106.trak"

2010-04-16T11:02:00.000-07:00