e-shed

Play some Doom

2013-06-30T19:40:00.003-07:00

Over at xtdos.com they have a massive selection of DOS games available for those nostalgic times in your life! The beauty of xtdos is there playable directly on the website. so check em out. FUCKING DOOM RIGHT HERE!

2013-06-30T01:29:00.001-07:00

Retro City Rampage v1.11a MULTI5-VACE

VACE with an updated build of this funny old school style game.

Description:
This 8-bit nostalgic throwback warps open-world carjacking BACK TO THE… ’80s.
Play 60+ story missions and 40+ arcade challenges. “Borrow” vehicles and outrun the law while mowing down your fellow citizens! Jump on pedestrians for coins, or use them for target practice with over 25 weapons and POWER-UPS! WHOA!

Features:

An interactive open-world filled with shops, arcades and casino games.
Over 60 Story Missions – Missions span every genre, from driving and shooting to stealth, rhythm, swimming, questing and more
Over 40 Arcade Challenges – Quick pick-up-and-play action with leaderboard competition and replay sharing.
Official Crossovers and Bonus Games – Super Meat Boy, BIT.TRIP: Runner, Epic Meal Time, Minecraft and more.
Over 50 Vehicles to Drive and Equip – How about a skateboard with a rocket launcher or a shopping cart with nitro?
Over 25 Weapons and Power-ups – From a bionic arm to a light gun, a boomerang to a “ghost busting” proton beam.
Playable Characters and Cameos! – Play as characters from other games, as legendary game developers, TV personalities and celebrities.
Customize your character with one of over 200 styles.
2.5+ Hours of Music (13 radio stations) – Critically acclaimed, IGF Nominated soundtrack by virt (Contra 4, Double Dragon: Neon) Freaky DNA (NBA Jam) and Norrin Radd. Available digitally, on CD and Vinyl.
Video Filters

Tube TV/Scanline/Dot-Matrix simulation (& some RED/BLUE 3D games)
Color Modes – Make it more system accurate to various platforms from EGA and CGA to the NES, SMS, C64, Apple II and more.
Leaderboards & Video Replays

Lock and load your lightgun. You’ve just entered RETRO CITY RAMPAGE.

Publisher: Vblank
Developer: Vblank Entertainment, Inc.
Genre: Action, Adventure, Indie, Racing
Release name: Retro_City_Rampage_v1.11a_MULTI5-VACE
Size: 19MB in 5F
Links: Homepage – Steam – NFO
Download: NTi – TPB – UPLOADED

All Your Memes Are Belong To Us

2013-06-29T12:41:00.003-07:00

Ahhh, Meme's, a term created by Richard Dorkins. Adopted by the internetz. People love to make jokes about games and juxter position gritty imagery with the hilarious. Since the unleashing of "All your base" image boards and blogs have been awash with satirical visual cometary on the world of gaming. Here's a few of my favorites.

Elder Scrolls, Sex Games For The Lonely Nerd

2013-06-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

So The Elder Scrolls games have been consistently entertaining generations of gamers now. Since its first incarnation in 1992 the customization options have been the source of so much of this fun. Based on the D&D campaign the developers were playing at the time. It was a hit from the off! Strangely though the elder scrolls developed an alter ego. A sex obsess dogy uncle of and alter ego. Here are some of the Seediest Mods to grace the franchise. Tissues at the ready.

HG EyeCandy mod- Oblivion

This mod is pretty simple, takes the raggie underwear from your hero and provides them with a shaven quim and boob size of your choice. I suppose its something to keep you occupied when stripping bandit chicks of there valuables. Didn't check to see if the dude bandits crown joules were on offer.

Estrus - Oblivion

Were to start really... By adding some new spells to your Hero. You can now engage in multiple sexual acts on unsuspecting NPC's. It has some really kinda rapey connotations. Highly doubt its available on steam workshop.

Animated Prostitution - Skyrim

Pretty much dose as is stated on the tin! If you the kind of guy that pays for sex then this is the mod for you! All you do is equip an item with the enchantment "Sexually Active", then you gain the ability to sexually proposition anybody in Skyrim... Apparently raises your speachcraft. God love a trier. Oh and it ads a strap on for those girl on girl scenarios
you encounter on the tundra.

Sporty Sexy Sweat- Skyrim

So you like sweaty bitches eh? This bizarre mod introduces glistening beads of swat to you character. If theirs one thing bitches better be, its wet... I'm not dry-holing.

Bouncy Bodices and Booties- skyrim

This mod adds a bunch of creatable jiggly parts to the game. Make you static character wobble like a Jamaican girl at a snoop lion concert with this "tasteful" addition to Skyrim. Sure it is....

All these 'erotic' mod are available from: http://oblivion.nexusmods.com//?

2013-06-28T19:54:00.003-07:00

Recently a Microsoft employee has has made the statement the new XBOX One dash “with advertising in mind”. With the already prevalent barrage of advertising. Do we relay need to be confronted with forced consumerism wen we turn on you games console? I personally will be staying clear of the new Microsoft offering. Even the turnaround on the security fetchers of the new Xbox are not enough to sway me.

Worst Games of All Time - Goes To The Movies

2013-06-28T16:03:00.005-07:00

Sometime things don't quite work out as planed for a game during development. Ether theirs budget cuts layoffs or even personal deputes. there allot of factors that can have an impact on the quality of development on a game. Some games have mistakes others just are mistakes. Unfortunately movie tie in game have a habit of being stunningly shit. rushed out to meet deadlines and sloppy heartless craftsmanship makes movie games some of the worst. Here's a little look at some of the worst games of all time!

Alien- Atari 2600

Ridley Scotts dark brooding 1979 scifi horror masterpiece sent box office sails into the stratosphere. Fans of the movie were chomping at the bit for a chance to play as there new favorite movie heroin Ripley, and experience the horror of Alien for themselves in the comfort of there front rooms. Rushed into production to meat this consumer demand Alien on the 2600 failed to deliver anything of what was asked of it. A half arsed clone of pack-man, Alien was one of those games that helped set the terrible trend for horrible movie tie in games. Play it here.

E.T.- Atari 2600

Yeah another 2600 title... It was full of ball achingly bad games! But perhaps the worst of all the aches is E.T. The game came out on the back of record box office sales for the movie. Truly unplayable, uninspiring and not a single jot of effort. Quite possibly the worst of the worst! Play it here.

Catwoman- PC, GC, XBOX, PS2,

Holy smokes batman we have another gash game. To coincide with the cinematic sensory rape that was Catwoman. The game of the same name was equally a dick up the arse of a title. The almost uncontrollable Catwoman was rushed out and churned out at that. It wasn't just controller flaws that held the game back. effortless level design and garbage visuals also help to ruin this game... nothings perfect though!

Jurassic Park: Trespasser - PC

Its hard to say how much this game sucked. it was terrible to the extent of yet again unplayable. One of the first games to feature 'rag doll physics'. It became quite anticipated, only to be slaughtered by critics and consumers alike. The game revolved around the mechanic of using your mouse as you right arm. The execution of the control system was sloppy and made for a clumsy to the point of spastic gaming experience. This game really should remain extinct!

Cracking Gaming Boobs!

2013-06-28T12:15:00.002-07:00

Best boobs in computer games!Oh, how we love them! Here's a little run down of some of the most famous polygons and pixels to grace a D cup. enjoy!

e-shed: In The Worst Possable Taste!

2013-06-28T10:59:00.001-07:00

e-shed: In The Worst Possable Taste!: Games have always rattled a few cages. Since we could pixel art in a blood splatter somebody has had something to say about it. I'm not ...

In The Worst Possable Taste!

2013-06-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

Games have always rattled a few cages. Since we could pixel art in a blood splatter somebody has had something to say about it. I'm not one for censorship. I'm all about free speech and saying something because you have a right to say it, but dayyym' sometimes theirs just no need! here's a little look at some of the most nasty ass games your going to find!

Custer's Revenge

really... I don't know were to begin on this one! A game for the Atari 2600 this game scraped the barrel of decency and taste's like the bottom of the barrel too! You play the roll of Custer our pink little buddy sporting a cowboy hat and a pixelated lob on, raping your way across colonial America. Sounds charming!

The Guy Game

It was pretty much doomed from concept to execution. The Guy Game, pretty much hits the sower taste bud on the proverbial sweet spot. "how can a game that lets you see boobies for answering questions ever be bad!" you ask. because a pair of the boobies in question belonged to an underage girl! Yes they really did! The game was pulled and a lawsuit swiftly followed. Remember check her I.D. Bro!

Rapelay

OK, so the Japanese being seedy and bat shit crazy is nothing new to us. Unless you havnt noticed. there also kinda rapey. I also have proof to back the statement up. Presenting to you Rapley. The challenging point and click adventure action game with cutting edge 3D visuals and enthralling narrative fit to have you on the edge of your seat... I lie, your just some dude raping chicks in a train station toilet...

A Closer Look At OUYA

2013-06-28T09:25:00.001-07:00

With the advent of a new era in gaming approaching us, its easy to get swept away with the thought of the exciting possibility's the new generation of consoles will bring to us. The PS4 and the new not so heartless Xbox One. Look impressive in there stature but a much smaller contender seems fit for battle.

the small form factor console fitted with a Nvidia Tegra 3 chip set, real 2.0 USB, and 1 GiB DDR3 SDRAM. This little monster is likely to pack a punch. Running Android 4.1 with a custom front end for ease of use with a game pad. OUYA looks to good to be true!

The markets are chaining, people are playing games who have never wanted to play before and with the fall of hard media. The ability to have a device that you can get on Facebook Netflix and even rack up a kill count on shadow-gun is all to appealing.

Hopefully this low budget bruiser will be able to rival the marketing might of it competitors and reach its target consumer. That would be everybody with eyes hands and a T.V.

2013-06-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Gun Monkeys new on Steam with cooky art direction, fast paced game play. online death matches and a crazy looking arsenal this looks like a sure fire winner. in depth review to come!

Android Apps on PC

2013-06-28T08:29:00.001-07:00

If you have ever wanted to play your favorite Android apps on your PC it has never been easier. A brilliant little app called BlueStacks is available that allows you to install android apps just like on your phone! through the use of Google Play Store, third party markets or even downloaded .Apk's you can have access to a ton of Software. All app shortcuts are conveniently stored in a windows library. Have fun playing dead trigger on your pc!

http://www.bluestacks.com/

All Hail Indie Gaming!

2013-06-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Indie games are nothing new, they have been rattling about since shareware (the first independent distribution solution). Recently though, there has been a trend towards the quirky and the creative. Steam started the trend and the console market followed suit. With such an vast selection of titles. its hard to stumble on the game for you! so hears my little run down of my top five indie games.

Castle Crashers
This game seems to do everything for me. From the stunning art direction to the flowing game play. using mechanics from classic titles like Golden Axe, Streets of Rage, it delivers a fast paced button mashing adventure from start to finish.

World of Goo

A simple puzzle based game. With a witty involving narrative to drive the game play. Get the Goo Balls home with bridge building skills and creative solutions. If your a fan of lemmings you best check this out.

Lucius

The dark Gothic tale of the son of Satan murdering his way though his stately home. What could be more fun! this Lovecraftien story of murder and occultism is bound to engage. Once you've burnt a mans face with an oven or crushed a dude under a piano, you will know point and click will never be the same again.

Trine 2
A graphically pleasing 2.4D side scrolling Adventure game. This beautifully executed gaming experience is topped off with challenging puzzles and tense combat. Inspired by the Lost Vikings games of ages past. Trine 2 delevers a not to be missed experience.

Hotline Miami
This weird and twisted talke brings you into a bad trip of a game. Spectrum inspire graphics and sound plunge you into a dark game of mass murders and 8-Bit madness. Defiantly one to check out if your a fan of house masks

battlefield heros- free to play goodness

2013-06-27T11:43:00.004-07:00

I'm not one to like free to play games. There on the hole, clones of other much better paid for games. In the case of battlefield heroes. This clone element doesn't really come into it unless you count the art direction straight ripped off the fantastic team fortress, but we can give that a overlook if the games up to par right?

Correct! this game is fantastic! the stranded battlefield game play moved to a 3rd person prospective. With a crazy range of cookie weapons and customization. You have yourself a cartoon slaughter-fest!

The client downloaded swiftly and I was straight into a match. Expect a mixed range of player ability's in game as this reaches out to the more casual market. There's a good selection of game types on offer and the ability to actually push advance into a real-time battle map is a cleaver addintion.

The store has many good items for sale both game credits and prepay credit items. Unlike allot of games you can complete questionnaires and earn yourself actual game credits to be spent in store. The range of clothing to rig your little G.I. Out in is impressive. Theirs a hole host of weapons and kit!

I highley recomend this game! seeings as its free, you should just see for yourself!

http://www.battlefieldheroes.com/

kerbal space program - fly me to the mun

2013-06-27T09:42:00.002-07:00

kerbal space program is an ingenious little game! Its game mechanic is simple. You have to engineer a rocket out of a bunch of pre made propulsion systems and fuel tanks and other spacey stuff and simply explore the galaxy!

The basic gameplay is broken up into two sections. the first, designing and engineering your rocket or “space plane” in a spore style creation tool. The second is propelling your craft into space! where you can visit the moon or mun as it is referred to in game, float about and enjoy the spacy music or try to propel yourself into deep space to see whats is out there.

The design tool is simple and intuitive. There is next to no learning curve other than the learning about ‘thrust over mass’ physics. Theres are a lot of different parts and systems to craft a spaceship out of. Literally your imagination is the only limit. With a wealth of user content that can be added to the game the possibilities are literally endless.

After building your craft your expected to fly it! Put your thrusters up and reach for the stars! The flight aspect of the game is incredibly fun. I've enjoyed flight simulator games in the past and love the idea of being able to fly my own creation. There's a multitude of tools to keep you in orbit. The learning curve come into play at this point but half the fun of the game is taking your ship back to the drawing board to make a more efficient flight and land your little green men on the ‘mun’

If your creative or mechanically minded or just liked playing with lego as a child then kerbal space program might be right up your street. Even if you neither of those things, the quirky art direction and enjoyable gameplay mechanics should sing to you. All in all this game is beautiful and urge you to play it as soon as you can.... See you in Space...

OUYA

2013-06-27T08:09:00.004-07:00

im a fan of the android platform! i believe nobody has unlocked the full potential of the beautiful OS that is android. OUYA- a new small form factor games console running android i set to become an open sourse wonder.

the project was started on kickstart with massive success. planed to only retail at $99. this could be the perfect living room console with access to top apps like XBMC and of course angry birds. this little box can kick out a full 1080p resolution and has a wireless pad provided. this little devise is set to change the casual and even hardcore aspects of android gaming.

so what are the specs?

Operating system	Android 4.1 Jelly Bean
System-on-chip used	Nvidia Tegra 3 (T33) SoC^[1]^[2]
CPU	1.7 GHz Quad-Core ARM Cortex-A9
Storage capacity	8 GB internal flash memory
Memory	1 GiB DDR3 SDRAM
Display	HDMI 1080p, 720p
Graphics	Nvidia ULP GeForce
Input	USB 2.0 (one) Micro USB (for connection to PC)
Controller input	Wireless controller
Connectivity	Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g/n Bluetooth LE 4.0 Ethernet port
Dimensions	75 mm (2.95 inch) cube

Windows 8.1 - The Back Track

2013-06-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

Allot of people didn't like the new windows way of accessing you apps. People seems to struggle with the simple system of two click access to there programs. in direct response to this windows is rolling out an update that will hopefully make it easier for those simpletons to access there already easy to access stuff!

the new feature adds a right click function to the start box and a quick access launcher, something that with a little bit of savvy you could set up yourself using apps like rainmeater or rocket dock. hardly the turn around that the start screen haters were expecting.

in my humble opinion. i love the start screen. its quick visually pleasing and much more accessible from longer distances away from the screen eg. for for home entrainment systems and such.

just be glad you have a proper O.S. this time... not another vista!

android for gamers!

2011-10-18T12:08:00.000-07:00

There’s a lot of selection when it comes to android gaming. From the casual to the hard-core, all aspects seem to be covered. The stunningly well received Angry Birds has opened the casual market as well as other notable games such as doodle jump and fruit ninja bringing light hearted gameplay mechanics to the simple folk. I’m not going to focus on those types of games. I’m going to focus on the games to appeal to the console/Gamer market.

Gameloft seem to be doing fantastically well with mobile gaming as well as EA taking a cut with the mobile version of dead space and the ever so popular FIFA games. Gameloft still takes the crown with their selection of amazingly detailed FPS games such as NOVA and the rainbow 6 games. Both showing good gameplay and well thought out combat systems. konami have ventured into the market with their PES series of games (hopefully one day a metal gear!). and glu have made a few good games such as Gun Bros. these are all fantastic games!

There is also a new wave of MMORPG’s appearing spanning from the pocket legends game. Similar themes to most pc online RPG’s. Expect massive popularity as people grinding levels on their way to work!

Another fantastic reason android is becoming an infamous gaming platform is the bewildering array of emulators to available for you to play games from the spectrum to N64 all beautifully faithful to their stone age oversized counterparts!

playstation emulation made simple!

2011-10-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

In a previous post I demonstrated how to emulate cartridge based systems of the 90’s. what if your time wasn’t the 90’s what if you only ever play tomb raider III on the ps1? Well in this post I’ll tell you how to get a Sony PlayStation emulator running. Lara croft will be jumping endlessly in no time! So assuming you know the basics, if not read up (link to cart emu) if you’re ahead on class I shall begin!

To make life really simple and take loads of the headache out of playstation emulation emuparadice put together a little zip file with all necessary files included! - http://www.emuparadise.me/emulators/files/epsxe160_full.7z

Download that file and unzip it in your emulators folder. Now you have a PlayStation on your pc! Now for games. Games on cartridge based machines like the snes use “roms” were as a cd based system will use a virtual copy of an original disk. A really good place to get hold of these files is - www.theisozone.com there is a wealth of games to explore!

After downloading your game and placing it in a folder for your psx games. Open up the emulator. Then click on file, then “run iso” navigate to were you placed your disk images an select a game to play! It really easy. As with any app take your time to explore the menus and options to make it run to you’re liking. Hope this gets you playing some of your old favourites again.

street fighter III: pinicle of 2D fighting

2011-10-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

In the wake of Street Fighter IV there is a new generation of Street Fighter fans. So for all the newly introduced or for those of you who'd just overlooked this gem, here is e-sheds review!

After the massive home console and arcade smash series of games the game engine had seen its day and the people demanded more complex sprites and animation to compete with Capcom's rival SNK. Capcom's response was Street Fighter III: The New Challengers... and it was a revelation! It blew the competition out of the water, receiving good reviews across the board. Though the 2D fighting genre was sloping downwards in sales and commercial success was gradual, the game became a cult classic.

Street Fighter III's new character roster was creative and demonstrated a slicker art style than ever before, with familiar faces from the series to make things comfortable. Old hands would take to new characters easily with similar moves and combos to their predeceases. Standard Street Fighter fair tarted up and took to dinner... same old styles but if it aint broke?

This game shines amongst the pale washed out grim action games of our times. The cutsie Japanimation inspired characters demonstrate a plethora of visually pleasing special moves. The eye candy comes quick and with clenched fists. All these elements make for one of the most elegant, well designed 2D fighting systems! Bravo Capcom bravo.

Available on nearly every format thinkable, it’s a very obtainable game that will supply years of enjoyment.

OnLive...Gamers heads in the clouds.

2011-10-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

Okay so it was out in the US a while a go, and now it's available in the UK. Assuming you haven't been bombarded with the adverts on YouTube, you won't know what OnLive is. As little is said about the new service. So what is it? It's a gaming network like Xbox Live or Steam where there is access to a store and online gaming, as well as demos. What really sets the service apart is its host of streaming games from their servers, to your webbook. Meaning any game on their service is playable on any machine. a vary enticing offer! As well as it being a greedy publisher’s delight with a 0% chance of piracy, it should fly. Sadly it doesn't. I own a gaming pc and know what good games look like and unfortunately, the de-saturated and pixelated display takes all that excitement away.

After an easy registration and a good dose of cloud gaming hype I downloaded the OnLive app. After a quick, fuss-free install and a clean log in... all seemed well as I perused though the excellent selection of games in the library. I decided to give Space Marine a try, the demo loaded sharpish and I was directly in the main menu, but as I started playing I encountered some problems. The already sandy hue of the game was exacerbated by the streaming process, the resolution seemed quite low and left a blocky pixelated mess on my HD screen. I tried some other games such as Dirt 3 and Homefront but was left feeling underwhelmed by the display and felt two steps removed from the controls. At this moment in time I'd say Steam offers the better service. That is, until the technology is in place for better resolutions and better controls within OnLive.

emulation high-end fun on low-end computers

2011-10-16T11:44:00.001-07:00

Okay, so you have a crappy old computer or low end notebook, you're sick of Farmville and you think your computer's not much good for much more than YouTube and Facebook?

On most counts you're probably wrong! Using a process called emulation it's possible to have a retro buzz! How about some Sonic or some Street Fighter... for free?!

Here are some easy to understand instructions on how to do just that! To make things easy for now I'll stick to cartridge based machines, but as you know your original copy of Zelda isn’t going to fit in your SD slot... To play your games you're going to need two things; an 'emulator', which is essentially an app used for mimicking the hardware of your favorite old school system. The second thing you will need is a ROM of your favorite game(s). A ROM is a virtual copy of a cartridge. So now you know what you need, this is how you get them. A good point of reference is www.emulatorzone.com they offer the best range of up to date emulators to choose from, organized by console.

1. you decided upon the epic mega drive and fusion Download the zip or exe file (if file has a weird extension like .rar use a program called WinRAR (www.winrar.com) and then get your emulator!

2. Place the downloaded files in a nice little folder called emulators anywhere you like. Making a folder called 'roms' helps for organizations sake.

3. Now you need to get your games or 'roms'. I'm a big fan of www.emuparadice.com

for the sake of my example I'll download Earthworm Jim for the genesis/ mega drive.

4. Now you have the ROM, place it in your ROM folder. Next, open up the emulator and press file-> open-> now go to were you stored your ROM. Double click and you're ready to go! ... Nearly.

5. It's a good idea to have a little click about and familiarize yourself with the options within the emulator. You can set your own keys and if you have a USB gamepad like that of the PS3 or 360 they're easy to set up as your main controller (usually via an option menu).

Now you're all set! Hopefully my introduction to emulation got you going. if my really bad screen shots and steps dont help here is a "little watch me do it"

There's a lot of really nerdy things to play with and happy gaming memories to live over... highest score on pac-man gets after me!