In honor of TRANSGENERATION airing Tuesdays at 10p on Sundance Channel, we wanted to curate a screening list of the best transgender-themed flicks out there. In order to make our list, the films in question had to feature a sympathetic portrayal of a transgendered character in a leading role — hence PSYCHO and SILENCE OF THE LAMBS did not make the cut. No, the following films are all thoughtful, moving depictions of people struggling through life — people who are human first, transgendered second.

10. Orlando (1992)
Of all the films in this Top 10, this is the most figurative interpretation of transexuality: Sally Potter’s adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s novel of the same name follows the immortal life of a young nobleman in Elizabethan times who, a few centuries later, wakes up one morning as a woman. Deliciously androgynous Tilda Swinton plays the title character and British dandy Quentin Crisp, the “queen of queens,” plays an elderly Queen Elizabeth I. While it wasn’t widely embraced at the time of its release, its visually stunning examination of gender identity earned a theatrical rerelease in 2010 by Sony Pictures Classics.

In an advice column on our site, “I Can Orgasm Easily, What’s Wrong With Me?!” we once made light of the issue of women who climax at the drop of a hat — we told the woman who wrote into us that, basically, she has a gift and should enjoy it. Well, the original post was all the way back in 2009, but for some reason the comments are coming in again. Is three years too long to make a public apology? In response to the commenters: we’re sorry for not seeing both sides of this story. Turns out that, just as there is such a thing as too big when it comes to penises, there is such a thing as too fast and too easy when it comes to female orgasms. Here’s what reader EmJ had to say to us:

I was so upset when I started reading this, and you assumed it was a joke, but with all the other ladies on here with the same issue I feel a lot better.

I wondered for a long time if I was not actually having orgasms, and if there was something else, because of the way people talk about orgasm like it’s a holy grail. However I orgasm very easily for the most part. I find that the fun of it is discovering different kind of orgasms that I have, which is really lovely.

I find I am really not compatible with guys who assume you want to keep coming. They have this massive ego problem of how long they can keep going, how many times they can make you come and I’ll be lying there praying for them to come because the whole situation has become painful. Guys – please don’t so this, it can be really upsetting. Men often just don’t seem to take me seriously at all. As a piece of advice, do tell guys aout this quite quickly, and inform them if things are getting uncomfortable. They may have been holding off because they think you’re loving it, when things may actually have started becoming painful.

Just to be clear, that this does not mean sex has to be fast, I can force sex to be slow. And I don’t mean by thinking of something else, but by enjoying the relaxing sensations you can get if you go very slowly – it can be like a massage, and the slow build up can lead to really great orgasms that I find really help me to connect with my partner.

Also, once you start to take control of your orgasm a wee bit more, you can hold back somewhat. This means you can time coming at the same time as your partner, which is quite intimate.

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below. 

Hi guys,

I’m a lesbian and have been for about 10 years now. I’ve only had two previous girlfriends in the past and have been with my current girlfriend for nearly two years. Things have been going great, until last month. My gf asked me to get on top of her during sex…I just froze. I’m too embarrassed to get on top during sex. I can’t physically bring myself to do it. I’m quite conscious about my size but my gf says I’m perfect. I just cant do it and I don’t want this to ruin our relationship. Please help, x.

– Reluctant Cowgirl

What should R.C. do?

Online dating’s first big weakness: the overdependence on proflie browsing, since studies show that singles CANNOT get a good sense of whether they’d be compatible with a potential partner based on that person’s profile.

Online dating’s second big weakness: the overheated emphasis on matching algorithms, since there is no evidence supporting the claims of sites using such algorithms — the available evidence suggests that the mathematical algorithms at matching sites are negligibly better than matching people at random.

Advice from three of EMandLO.com’s guy friends. This week they answer the following: “Do men really care about how flexible their partners are in bed?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): Sure, flexibility is great… but I don’t need you to be able to lock your legs behind your head. In fact, I’ve never had an issue of a woman not being flexible enough for what we were doing. So no, it’s really not a big deal.

Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): Flexible as in easy going personality, then yes. I don’t want to be with a high maintenance person who cannot roll with the punches. Sometimes life happens and the best laid plans fall apart. Physically flexible, who wouldn’t want that? I don’t think members of either gender or sexual orientation want someone who is stiff and can’t move. So get out those yoga mats.

Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): It’s just as much a big deal as penis length is for you gals — a happy medium is always appreciated! It’s great to have the option, but too much flex is like having sex a la Exorcism of Emily Rose (kinda scary) — but too little is like trying maneuver a department store mannequin. You don’t need to be “Cirque du Soleil,” but a yoga DVD can do wonders!

Please donate to EMandLO.com! Every $1 helps, every $5 really helps, and every $50 makes you our best friend!

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Single Gay Guy is Abraham Zeus Zapata, an actor, writer and artist living in the Houston area; our Single Straight Guy is Scott Phrenetik, who moonlights as a DJ in Dallas; and our Married Straight Guy is Ben D., a former professional fighter who would now much rather spend time with his wife and baby son than get punched in the face by a sweaty man. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

We pride ourselves on knowing all the sex lingo — and where there isn’t lingo for something we’ve observed in the world of sex and dating, then we make it up ourselves. For example, three terms we coined in our book Rec Sex: An A-Z Guide to Casual Sex are benched (the state of being put on the back burner indefinitely by a casual sex partner); Donna (someone who acts as if a roll in the hay with them were season-finale material, à la Donna from 90210); and pre-nook (the casual-sex equivalent of the pre-nup, it verbally outlines both party’s expectations). But it turns out there’s a trend we neglected to categorize: the sex nerd. According to the San Francisco-based website Mission Local, the sex nerd is “an archetype that flourishes in the microclimates of San Francisco… The term does not apply to those who cultivate interesting sexual specialties but who manage to maintain a social life and interest outside of that specialty. Taxonomically, the sex nerd is the libidinal equivalent of a drama geek — so wrapped up in the set and costume design of sex that they forget there’s actually a play going on.”

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
You’re one of those incredibly successful multi-taskers who has a full-time job, writes at least one novel a year (several of which are available on Amazon), volunteers at the old folks’ home, occasionally retreats to the woods for spiritual enlightenment and a landscape oil painting class, and never has to wipe their ass more than three times. This week, not only will you cure some disease, but in your “spare time” you’ll meet someone with real potential. We’re trying real hard to be happy for you.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Scientists have proven that for every hundred instances of casual sex, the “casual” aspect is actually mutual only once or twice. The odds are against you, and this week, they finally catch up to you. Unless you catch this horoscope in the nick of time (say, before Wednesday) and have the presence of mind to take a cold shower and ward off an unwelcome hopelessly devotee at the pass.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Your quick response to others and your opportunistic approach to life will attract just the type of partner you want this week. It’s kind of like high school all over again, but not so much fun. You’ll make fun of the kid with the limp and everyone will just roar with laughter, especially that hottie in the corner. You’ll break out your impression of the retarded guy who works at the deli and everyone will think you’re sooooo funny, especially that hottie in the corner. You’ll poke fun at our outfits in a dry, almost self-deprecating manner and they’ll be talking for years about your sophisticated wit, and how everyone knew at just that moment that you and the hottie in the corner were meant for each other. Don’t bother inviting us to the wedding.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You’re unsure about love,
So don’t be a big fat stupid head by leading someone on.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
You will find it difficult to hide your true feelings. You’ll be passionate, warm, and affectionate in your gestures, and this will incur “interesting” responses. Especially if all this “warmth” and “affection” is being displayed on a second date. And you’re a chick. And your date is a dude. Don’t make any sudden moves unless you’re prepared to see a grown man squeal like a little piggie on the way to market.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
Cheaters never win and winners never cheat. Don’t be a big fat loser this week.

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
This is a good week to interact with your luvva (as opposed to all those weeks when it’s best to ignore them and take them for granted). Get out, pleasure seek, romance the stone — together. You know, go check into a cheap motel on the interstate for a couple of hours some night this week.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
With the constant ebb and flow of the tide, the shoreline is ever-changing. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Deal with it.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
We hope it doesn’t rain too much in your hometown this week, ’cause you’re only going to get lucky outdoors.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
If you’re looking for someone who is dedicated, loyal, and ready for a relationship, you should attend some of the worthy activities going on in your local community. Hell, even a book-signing will do, as long as it’s not the Heaven Is For Real book. But if you’re looking for someone who is conniving, backstabbing, and emotionally unavailable, then take your pick from any of the losers hanging out at your local bar.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Do that extra body shot, be the first on the dance floor, be the last to go home, let your hair down, and your pants, too, should the mood strike — public impersonations of the psycho in Silence of the Lambs are making a comeback.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
This week, be the bottom.

• TresSugar: Five ways that feminism is good for men.
• College Candy: 17 things that irritate girls about guys.
• The Frisky: Celebrities kiss and tell about who sucks in bed… and who doesn’t.
• YourTango: Why marriage counseling is not the kiss of death.
• How About We: How to be single in your twenties (tips from an aunt).
• Nerve.com: How to tell if a nice guy is really a nice guy.

It’s all gay news all the time this week — there’s some good news, some bad news, and some plain old ugly news. As Marc Maron tweeted, NC = Nation’s Closet.

• Holy shit holy shit holy shit Obama endorses same sex marriage!!!
• And Romney reminds us that he’s still against it.
• Fuck fuck fuck North Carolina passes their piece-of-shit marriage amendment.
• North Carolina weighs ban on electricity, soap.
• California seeks to ban “gay conversion therapy.”
• Same sex civil unions bill fails in Colorado.
• If you prefer your news in color chart form, the Guardian UK put together an awesome infographic on gay rights in the U.S., state by state.
• In other awesome Obama news, he also stood up for Planned Parenthood.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Every few weeks, Dr. Vanessa Cullins, a board-certified obstetrician/gynecologist and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood® Federation of America, will be answering your questions on EMandLO.com. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Vanessa,

No matter how hard I try, I cannot female ejaculate. Is there something wrong with me (like a psychological issue that’s holding me back)? Or are some women just not built that way?

– Sally Sahara

Dear SS,

Female ejaculation is the spurting of fluid out of the urethra, the tube from the bladder to outside the body, during intense sexual excitement or orgasm. The fluid is most likely secreted by the Skene’s glands, which are located near where the urethra opens to the outside of a woman’s body. Female ejaculation occurs in one out of 10 women. Some authorities believe that female ejaculation is related to stimulation of the G spot. Others disagree.

Some authorities believe that many more women experience female ejaculation, but that the amount of liquid is so small it is not perceptible to the woman or her partner. But most women do not experience female ejaculation in any perceptible way when they have an orgasm or at any other time during sex. So, not experiencing female ejaculation is common and normal and will not prevent you from having an intense orgasm.

Some women think ejaculating heightens their orgasm. Others who ejaculate say it makes no difference in the quality of their orgasm. Some women find female ejaculation messy and entirely embarrassing and wish it didn’t happen. Some find it very enjoyable and sexy. Some partners like it. Some don’t.

A lot of people write about female ejaculation, and there are a lot of myths about it. Because of all the mythology about female ejaculation, some authorities worry that women who do not experience it will become anxious and think they have a sexual disorder, which is entirely wrong thinking.

Perhaps you have put it best yourself: some women are just not built that way. We do know that women’s sexual satisfaction is not associated with whether or not they ejaculate. There are very satisfied women out there who have never experienced female ejaculation.

In the meantime, best wishes for your good sexual health,

Vanessa
Planned Parenthood

Vanessa Cullins, MD, MPH, MBA, is a board-certified obstetrician/gynecologist and vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood® Federation of America. She generously shares her medical wisdom with EM & LO readers every few weeks.