Our contributor Carrie asked us this question recently — for her, she says she knows the end is nigh when she starts feeling more self-conscious and uncomfortable around the guy. For her friend, it’s when she loses interest in PDA with the partner. How about you: What are your personal tell-tale signs that a relationship is winding down? Post your answers in the comments section below.

Okay, we know this will be twice in one week that we’re going rogue and abandoning the whole love and sex thing, but this is worth it! OK Go is an indie band that has mastered viral marketing with clever, innovative one-shot vids for their songs. First there was “A Million Ways,” in which they did an awesome little dance routine in someone’s backyard. Then they upped the ante with a choreographed number on a set of treadmills for “Here I Go Again.” Then came “WTF?” — its psychedonkulous colors and patterns made you go WTF when you watched it (here’s how they did that one). Now, for the song “This Too Shall Pass” from their new album “Of the Blue Colour of the Sky,” they’ve done it again — even better! It’s a giant Rube Goldberg machine in a two-story warehouse that moves along in perfect freakin’ synch with the song, all captured in one glorious take (after more than 60s tries over two days). You can read all about how they did it in this Wired article.

Check out the four video installments of “The Making of TTSP” over on SUNfiltered.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions here once a week. To ask her your own question, click here.

Dear Dr. Kate,

Can I get pregnant if I have unprotected sex during my period? I’ve heard that you can, but what are the odds? Especially if I’m really regular…?

Aunt Flo

Dear A.F.,

An oldie but goodie. Short answer: yes, at low odds.

Long answer: If you’re really regular, you likely ovulate around day 14 of your cycle (or 14 days after you start bleeding). This means that you can get pregnant from roughly day 10 to day 15. But you never know when your ovaries decide to go into overdrive and pop out an extra egg one month — and that might be around or during your period. So the chances aren’t high, but it’s far from impossible. Add on the fact that bleeding isn’t always from a true period (but from an infection, stress, a polyp, or fibroid), and you’ll see why the chance is there.

Final answer: if you have a uterus, functioning ovaries, and an orgasming penis near your vagina, you CAN get pregnant. Even with birth control, even during your period, even right after a baby/miscarriage/abortion, even the first time you have sex. The odds may not be high, but it’s still possible.

– Dr. Kate
Gynotalk

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City. She also lectures nationally on women’s health issues and conducts research on reproductive health. Check out more of her advice and ask her a question at Gynotalk.com.

We were too young to realize it at the time, but Corey Haim’s Lucas (1986) showed us exactly why the band geek makes a better boyfriend than the captain of the football team. Rest in peace, Corey Haim — you may not have been the most eloquent cast member of the reality show The Two Coreys, but the wisdom of your characters continues to ring true. Here are our top ten favorite on-screen Corey moments — heavily favored toward Lucas, of course. What can we say? That kid was a hero:

1. From Lucas (1986)

Maggie: You know how wonderful you are?
Lucas: Yeah, but it doesn’t turn you on, does it?

2. From Dream a Little Dream (1989)

Bobby [Corey Feldman]: Dinger! Dinger, wake up for a minute. I gotta talk to you, Buddy.
Dinger [Corey Haim]: Bobby, I’m asleep. I’m fast asleep, Bobby. I’m dreaming. Apache women. Mai-tais. Vanna White and a whip.
Bobby: I’m in love.
Dinger: That could be a problem.
Bobby: I don’t think you understand.
Dinger: No, no, I do understand. I really do. Which hand is it this week, pal?

3. From Lucas (1986)

Lucas: If you’re so depressed, how come you’re eating pizza?

4. From Lost Boys (1987)

Sam Emerson [Corey Haim]: So where’re we going?
Michael Emerson [Jason Patric]: Nowhere.
Sam Emerson: So what’s the rush? You’re chasing that girl aren’t you? Come on, admit it. I’m at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.

5. From Lucas (1986)

Lucas: They say that aggression is an expression of sexual feeling.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

We got a TON of great comments on the “How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?” post, from Spes, SS, Madamaoiselle L….it was so hard to choose one! So we picked two:

Rhett Butler: Let me recast the question to illuminate it a bit more.  While the analogy isn’t perfect, let’s replace “sex” by “marriage” and reverse the gender roles and see if it makes any difference.  How long should a guy expect to be able to make a woman wait before he commits to marriage? He should make her wait as long as he needs to in order to be sure that she really is the one for him.  Conversely, it is not at all unreasonable for a woman to say that she wants to get married, and if it’s not gonna happen in this relationship, then she should feel free to move on.  The actual time frame is completely up to the individuals.  Whatever each finds reasonable really should be fine.  The same with sex.  We all enter into relationships with priorities, and it is up to each person to negotiate to see that his/her needs are met. Period.  Whatever they mutually find satisfactory is the correct length of time.  But let’s leave any notions like, “if he really loves you he’ll wait” out of it.  It is legitimate to expect sex in a relationship at some point.  And a man can reasonably weigh the chance that the relationship will work out against his immediate needs.  If he thinks his odds are too remote for a long term relationship, then he should certainly feel free to move on. That isn’t selfish, nor demonstrative of a lack of respect.

Dannie: Speaking of gender.  Let me say here that I’m not exactly 100% with the way we’re gendering this, that gals make guys wait for sex and men make women wait for marriage.  The sex of the individual is outside of the equation: one person is ready for one thing while the other is not.  That is it.  And I do believe that guys can take a stake and put time into a relationship for more than just sex.  If they are attracted to the person, yes, they will want sex–but they should also want their prospective partner to want it, too.  Furthermore, the idea that a woman would be denied sex because a man thinks she is not ready when she has decided she is just reeks of patriarchy.  Just as a person has a right to decide not to have sex, they have the right to decide to have sex.  And there is nothing wrong with either decision.

Read all of the thought-provoking comments on “How Long Can a Virgin Make a Guy Wait?” here.

We know you’re not perfect. At some point, most of you will walk out on a one-night stand without so much as a “Thanks for the sex!” Post-It note. We don’t condone this behavior, but we can offer an emergency guideline, should you happen to bump into this person at a later date. However, this is the etiquette equivalent of the morning-after pill — don’t rely on it as routine! Here are some ways you might approach your former one-night stand — mix and match as you see fit:

The Ice-Breaker: “Excuse me, don’t I know you?”

The Inquisitive: “Hey, how’s it going? Had any good one-night stands lately?”

The Small White Lie: “I tried to wake you, but you were in your R.E.M. cycle and couldn’t be roused.” (Our least favorite.)

The Big Fat Obvious and Therefore Funny Lie: “Sorry, I had to get home to wash my hair.” (Much better!)

The Better Late Than Never: “I forgot to leave this with you the other day.” (At which point you pass a note that includes above-mentioned witty banter and self-deprecating joke — to be sure, it is a tad involved, but it could work if jotted down quickly on a cocktail napkin after bumping into this person at a bar.)

The T.M.I.: “I started to get the beer runs and didn’t want to taint your bathroom.” (Sure to guarantee the platonic nature of your relationship for all eternity.)

The Projection: “I can’t believe you left without saying goodbye.”

The Here Are My Manners: “Sorry I left without saying goodbye. That was so rude of me. Let me make it up to you and buy you a drink. And don’t worry, I promise not to get us both wasted this time.”

From our bi-weekly Metro column — see it in print here.

The G-Ki (pronounced gee-kee) is just out recently from Je Joue, the UK makers of another awesome toy, the SaSi. This vibe has got a lot of fantastic features, which is why we’ve selected it as our toy of the month. It’s:

• Body-safe — It’s made of 100% food-grade silicone that’s non-porous, phthalate-free, hypo-allergenic and latex free.
• Rechargeable — It comes with a magnetic recharger that just clicks in place externally.
• Waterproof — You can submerge this baby.
• Nice packaging — It comes in an elegant black box with a handy instruction manual in several different languages.
• Adjustable vibration — It’s got 5 different speeds, with some pulsating modes.
• Adjustable positions — The G-spotter head (the smaller end of the toy) can be tilted in three different positions, while the the slim neck can be moved into 8 different positions, turning it from a straight thruster toy into a J-shaped dual-action vibe that can give you clitoral and labial stimulation (with the wider end of the toy). It takes a little bit of maneuvering by holding the adjusting buttons down hard, but that’s probably it’s only drawback.
• Other uses –Straighten the neck out, curve the head, turn it around and try to find your PS-spot (on the back wall of the vagina, opposite the G-spot)
• Under $100 — That’s not bad for a quality, good-looking toy.

The G-Ki is available from our friends at Eden Fantasys.

• DC is to become the first city to distribute free female condoms — in beauty salons, stores, and high schools — in an effort to fight HIV.
• According to Cellphones.org, 15% of Americans have interrupted sex to answer a cellphone call.
• Speaking of modern life messing with our booty, apparently Americans are too tired for sex almost 25% of the time, according to a new study by the National Sleep Foundation.
• The Ontario Court of Appeal is hearing a case of sexual assault wherein a woman slept with her friend’s identical twin assuming him to be her occasional lover. Also, “General Hospital” is suing the identical twin for stealing next week’s plot-line.

Read the rest of this post on SUNfiltered

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “How do most guys feel when a woman brings her favorite sex toy into the bedroom? Threatened? Excited?

Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos): Unless it’s three-pronged, the Jackhammer Jesus, or obscenely elephantine, I think it’s generally safe — educationally thrilling even — to introduce your vibrator into the bedroom. By appealing to his sense of ingenuity and boyhood exploratory spirit, any guy would be flushed with excitement by the opportunity to tinker with an entirely foreign, exotic gadget. Whether it’s fiddling with your Tivo or installing computer software updates, technology seems to bring the best out in men; they like to get things right. With the proper coaxing (Gee, I just can’t figure this thing out!), tinkering with your Rabbit Habit’s best configurations just might be the kind of dilemma you’d want your guy troubleshooting through an entire Saturday afternoon.

Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): I don’t know how most guys feel, but whether it’s with toys, fingers, or ideas, I’ve felt very happy when a partner takes me into her confidence and shares what she likes in the bedroom. I like it when she “lends a hand” when we’re in a position where it’s hard for me to reach her. And when she enjoys the exhibitionism/voyeurism of getting off with me. Or when she just wants to add to what we’re doing. It’s nice even when she’s just never going to get off — or off often enough — from my efforts alone. I guess some of those reasons, especially the last, could be seen as threatening. A lot of the other reasons are just straight-up exciting. But they all mean she’s comfortable enough with me, and confident enough about her self, to show me what she likes. And that’s always going to make me happier than if she was too nervous or uncomfortable about it. If she’s comfortable enough to share her favorite toy? So much the better!

You know something I’ve always been too shy to try, though? Being the one to bring a new toy or vibrator into bed with a partner, even one I think she’d enjoy. If it’s okay for a Wise Guy to ask questions of his own, do you think it would be okay to do that instead? [Em & Lo: Ladies, respond in the comments section below, please!]

Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think most guys feel somewhere between threatened and excited. It’s adventurous, but also a little denigrating. It’s probably similar to how most girls would feel if a guy brought his favorite pornography to share in the bedroom: unwelcome competition, and too much information. (Imagine how you’d feel if a guy showed you a well-worn picture of a swimsuit model, and then with a conspiratorial smile taped it to the wall above the pillows before getting down to business?) A definite no-no for most couples in the first few months of dating. But for long-term and married couples, introducing your little best friend can help revive or spice things up, and even be a welcome relief for guys who aim to please their woman.

Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is Angelo Nikolopoulos, host of an NYC queer reading series The White Swallow, and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Our 10-part television series, SEX: How to Do Everything, is now available on DVD! Each show tackles a specific topic (seduction, oral sex, kink, etc) with tips, on-the-street & in-studio interviews, silly segments like our confessional booth in the middle Times Square, and how-to demonstrations from various models illustrating a variety of different techniques, from the ordinary to the super-scandalous. (For example, there’s a guy in one episode who can, um, go down on himself — we weren’t entirely happy about his inclusion in the show, but it undeniably has a certain, fucked-up, car-crash appeal.) The show was made in the UK, where they can get away with a lot more on television.

PLEASE SUPPORT THIS SITE: BUY OUR DVD HERE!

Being innocent television ingenues, we didn’t get a lot of money for this project. The only way we’ll see another cent for our efforts (which basically involved humiliating ourselves in order to help spread sexual education and inspiration) is if you buy the DVD using this link. So if you like EMandLO.com, the information on it, and the fantastic community that’s grown within it, please consider supporting it with the purchase of our show SEX: How to Do Everything — we’re sure you’ll get something out of it, whether it’s a new technique to try, a different way to think about sex, a giggle, or just great fodder for your next cocktail party.

CHECK OUT THE DVD TRAILER IN THE RIGHT SIDEBAR>>

The trailer for the show is in the right hand sidebar and below is a clip from the oral sex episode, in which famous sex guru Midori gives two women some tips and tricks with a lollipop demo  — just remember to use this link should you decide to order the show. If you do, we’ll be your BFFs. Thanks!