Earnest Parenting

Homeschooling Steps Toward Success: Taking Small Risks

Amy — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 05:22:45 +0000

Okay. As of today, the boys and I are still at home doing school. We don’t have everything solved, but I think we made a good decision or two last week. There are multiple issues: scheduling, responsibility, and the whole unwillingness to leave the house or try new things thing.

I’ve talked to the boys for a long time about taking art lessons. All of them have at one point or another enjoyed drawing, so I bought a book to use for teaching drawing. I thought it’d be neat to learn along with them. That failed miserably a year or two ago…we did learn to draw a few pictures but there just wasn’t enough for a novice like me to go on. We tried a few books from the library, but nothing looked like a good fit.

Last year I ran across an online art program and mentioned it to the boys. They refused. I’ve brought it up several other times but got the same response. “No.”

Wednesday morning I plunked the older boys down in front of the computer and clicked Play on the art program. They were instantly hooked. Captain Earthquake got in on the act a bit later in the morning and produced a mighty fine drawing of his own. If I can get permission, I’ll post some of their work tomorrow.

The Manager was not as impressed with the whole thing. He saw the other boys drawing and their enthusiasm, but didn’t try any drawing. I asked him to take a look at the screen. He pouted.

I asked him outright why he wasn’t trying, and the pouting turned into whimpers. He refused to answer the question. I asked him to just watch one of the lessons, which would take less than 5 minutes. No drawing required; just watch the teacher do it. He slumped to the floor and whined some more.

Sigh.

I know that perfectionism is what is holding him back. We went through this with The Mercenary as well. Still do, some days. (Although he’s better for the most part.) But it’s battles like this….dozens of them a day….that wear a mom down. You know?

Eventually I insisted that he sit and just watch the presentation. Once he was done, there were smiles and everything was fine as if he hadn’t gotten upset at all. It’s easy to get annoyed by that.

I told him on Friday that we’re going to try a lesson this week, and that I want him to try drawing a picture. There was less resistance. Tomorrow I’m going to see if he’ll just sit down and choose a picture and watch the lesson with me. Then we can see about actually doing some drawing in a day or two.

Having to fight for small victories is part of why I thought about quitting last week. As Bruce pointed out in the comments, no matter what we choose there will be difficulty. We’re still talking about what the best overall option will be.

There’s more to tell. I’ll continue this soon.

FFYF: End of a Tough Week Edition

Amy — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:16:43 +0000

Whew! We made it to Friday. I have updates and developments to share, but for today let’s just think happy thoughts, shall we?

My weekly giggle: Last night all the boys and the dog went out and played in the rain. When they came in soaking wet I insisted that people shower. After all, if you’re already wet, why not lather up and finish the job? While I cooked dinner, various boys cleaned up. The last to hit the bathroom was The Manager, right after dinner.

He was less than pleased at the prospect, as playing with his twin was a much higher priority. “But we just started a war!” he moaned. I just looked at him and waited. “Okay, but can I take a sh-bath?” he asked. I smiled and said, “Well, I had more of a bower in mind, but go ahead.”

Moving on to our carnival submissions: Madeleine Begun Kane presents Romancing The Stoic posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog. Madeleine’s husband is so sweet!

June Tree presents Are You Ready To Be A Parent? Know The Cost Of Having Kids posted at The Digerati Life. June shares hilarious parental preparation strategies.

Toni presents While you’re in labor, take pictures! posted at Wifely Steps. I’ve never heard of someone photoblogging life during labor, but this was great.

Tonialso presents Monday Picker-Upper: Cartoons posted at Wifely Steps. Great for some smiles, this one.

thatgirlisfunny presents soup served in a toilet bowl and other strange goings-on posted at thatgirlisfunny.com. Okay, whoever thought of this theme was definitely outside the box.

Banquet Manager presents Giving Up Wine posted at So You Want To Be a Banquet Manager…. This one cracked me up the first time I saw it.

anto.patterson presents Possible Stress Release: Sing on The Train Like An Indian Man « HelloMissPatterson posted at HelloMissPatterson. If you’re going to sing on a train, why not dance a little too?

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of
fun for your fridayusing our carnival submission form.

Past posts and future hosts can be found on our
blog carnival index page.

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Am I a Failure as a Homeschooler?

Amy — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:53:38 +0000

I’ve had the “add new post” window open on my laptop for two days now. I stare at the blank screen, unsure of what to type exactly. I want to tell you about our latest homeschooling…..mess. But it’s messy. I don’t even know how this is all going to turn out, and I’m not sure if I can convey clearly what we’re dealing with.

No, it’s not a life-threatening mess. Many could read this and respond with, “Hitch up your big girl panties and roll, girl.” Others can read this and say that I’m asking too much, expecting too much; that I should accept reality and be thankful for what is here rather than wanting more.

There is an immediate solution, but it’s one that I hate.

The mess: school here is usually a fight. There are rarely days in which all four boys cooperate with the assignments and finish their work so we can all play. Rather, at least one (and usually more) of them has a meltdown over me saying radical things like, “okay, time for spelling.” Granted, life is a ton easier than in years past. Back when the older boys were in first and second grade, we all had meltdowns: them crying over learning their letters and me crying over them crying.

Believe me, I have tried EVERYTHING I could think of to make school more palatable. The younger boys routinely forget themselves and have a great time doing their schoolwork. This is after the crying and arguing and throwing themselves on the floor because of the aforementioned radical speeches coming out of my mouth.

I kept the boys home from public school for many reasons, but the biggest one is that I want them here. I love learning, and watching children learn. Heck, that’s what my graduate degree was in. But this? This is not fun. It’s more like torture. Day in and day out, someone is crying or complaining or arguing.

Click around to some homeschool blogs and you’ll find story after story of how rewarding the experience is, how much fun parents are having with their children, how close they are as a family….how easy this life is. After 7 years of trying, we’re still not there. That’s discouraging. What am I doing wrong? How can I make this better? Why won’t my children accept the fact that they MUST learn? By law, they have to be in school. Period. And yet, they seem to think they can argue their way out of the work. I truly don’t understand. I want to be one of those moms who has fun with her kids and lessons. But I don’t know how to get there.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. This feels insane. And I’m not even doing the same things. I keep trying new things, new courses, new approaches, new deals, new plans, new rewards, new motivations. But we keep coming back to the same old resistance.

And that’s what bugs me the most. The boys at a base level do not agree that they should be learning. They just want to play. I have yet to find ways of schooling that are playful enough to pull them in. And believe me again, I have tried. When I suggest fun things, they immediately shoot the ideas down. Everything new has to be forced on them. When I ask them for suggestions, I get blank stares or mumbles of, “I don’t know.”

So, with heavy hearts last night we told the boys that we don’t see another choice. It’s time to try public school. That’s the solution I hate. Hubby was sick about it too, and the boys ate dinner with heads bowed in near-silence.

None of us want that option.

But what to do? Ultimately, the boys have to decide they want to be here. They have to decide to participate and take responsibility for their behavior. It shouldn’t be me dragging them, kicking and screaming, through their lessons.

Today, I’m supposed to be calling principals to set up meetings to enroll my boys. I’m supposed to be calling the doctor for medical records and booster shots so that everyone’s current and approved for school. So far, I haven’t done it. I don’t know if I can.

I’m still hoping for that last-ditch effort on their part to stay with me. They say they want to be here. Now they have to prove it.

FFYF: The Spritzinator Edition

Amy — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 05:30:16 +0000

Welcome again to Fun For Your Friday! This week, FFYF has officially become a blog carnival. See below for some hi-stinkin-larious submissions. First, here’s my giggle for the week. Back when we first got the puppy, we knew that there would be a few messes along the path to housebreaking. So, we purchased an enzyme cleaner with a long name. I got the gallon version, and put it in a smaller spray bottle. In the course of life, the cleaner became known simply as Spritz. This most likely has something to do with parental directions to simply spritz the area in question. Now that I think of it, Spritz is used both as a noun AND a verb around here. Annnnnyhow. This week Captain Earthquake (age 7) agreed to clean up a little accident we’d found. “Where’s the Spritz??” he shouted. “I need paper towel!” We located the items in question and he marched off to clean. I could hear him talking to himself as he worked. The voice became louder as he returned to the kitchen. Suddenly, he sprang back into the room, shouting “I’m the Spritzinator!”

And without further ado, here is the March 5 edition of Fun For Your Friday.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Musical Accord (Spoof Contract) posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog I laughed until I cried over this one.

swagat presents I am what I am!! posted at Its all in here Any college student wanting to know how to apply for a scholarship can look here for guidance.

Josanne Anthony presents Can My Marriage Be Saved? posted at A Chocolate Bouquet I think Josanne’s husband should let her win this one.

Regina Scharf presents How to find a husband ? the Brazilian way posted at DEEP BRAZIL I’m glad to be out of the dating scene. Some of those techniques are work!

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the March 12 edition of Fun For Your Friday using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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FFYF: Weekend Break Edition

Amy — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 06:34:38 +0000

Hullloooooo, Friends!

I’m heading off to do some sewing this weekend; one of my favorite activities. Just think: hour upon glorious hour in front of my sewing machine!

The heart sings in anticipation.

So…how about you? Anything fun planned for this weekend? Share with the group! How about you play along on Fun For Your Friday? Share a joke, blog post, video, or photo telling about your weekend plans.

Next week when I write the new FFYF post, I will go back and close the previous edition. At that time all legitimate links are converted to .html, which means you get some link love just for playing along. How’s that for a bonus?

Links that are spam or inappropriate to the spirit of the game will be deleted. If you just link to a commercial web site, that’s not in the spirit of the game. Please link to something that makes you laugh. Or at least smile.

Special note!! This is the last week that FFYF will appear with the Mr. Linky format. We are changing over to a carnival format and will be on Blog Carnival.com for anyone interested in playing along.

photo credit: jelene