Earthquake Cove

Failed predictions of 2008

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:27:00 +0000

At the beginning of each year, various deluded people make predictions of what the new year has in store. I typed predictions 2008 into google, and the first result was a psychics forum. I hope the below demonstrates just how deluded psychics can be... The predictions were made in late 2007 / January 2008 to forecast what 2008 would have in store. Littlehalo predicted "there will be a volcano eruption, i am not sure where but when i asked my spirit guide to help me this is what i was told" - thanks a lot spirit guide - not very helpful. There are volcanic eruptions every year, but none of note in 2008. Littlehalo's aside, I've ignored the other really lame / vague predictions of earthquakes somewhere in Asia, civil unrest in an unspecified European country etc. Datin said, "I feel that on January 25, 2008 California will be rocked by an earthquake that will rival the San Francisco earthquake. I feel this will be a centered a bit above Los Angeles but felt in a very large area...

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Potted round up of the year

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 12:55:00 +0000

I've effectively hung my blog up on the coat hook for the time being. Since I gave up my job, I've had much less time on my hands. The news story which has most fascinated me this year has been shipping routes. Not immediately an exciting topic - but it is one which will increasing become more significant. About 100 ships have been hijacked by Somali pirates this year. That's been enough to get the attention of the world's navies. Although various countries have sent ships to the Gulf of Aden, surprisingly it is India that is leading the way. Its navy escorts ships through the Gulf, and has intercepted a number of pirate vessels. Related to this in some way is the news that melting icecaps are making the Arctic Ocean navigable. It is becoming viable for ships going between Europe and the Far East to cut across the Northeast Passage rather than through the Suez Canal. The pirates will only add to the incentives to use this route - already cautious shipowners are sending...

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Most influential books

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:51:00 +0000

I was reading Jim's and Matt's blogs, where they list the ten political books which have had the most influence on them. I'm fairly widely read politically, and yet this spurred me to wonder whether books have influenced my political direction, or if they've merely illuminated a direction I was already travelling. Whereas books might give people the arguments and illustrations to help them to sharpen their opinions and better advocate them to others, I'm skeptical of how much they influence our actual direction in life. My guess is that our political outlook is determined much more by psychological factors, and by the social and economic circumstances we find ourselves in. We gravitate towards advocating either individualist or collectivist solutions to problems, and to implementing these solutions in either a liberal or repressive manner. Beyond this, political theory merely turns us into the little-enders or big-enders of Liliput. There are science books that change the world...

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Breast Milk ice cream

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:48:00 +0000

PETA (whom I suspect love animals a bit too much, if you get what I mean), has called on Ben & Jerrys to replace cow milk with human breast milk in their ice cream. I'm not sure they've thought this through. In order to do this on the globalised industrial scale required by Ben & Jerrys, we'd have to start treating lactating women like cattle. Sure - who wouldn't like to suck on a breast milk ice lolly (or even breast milk cheese* or yoghurt). Waste not, want not - that's my attitude. But to make this happen, I'm not prepared to pay the price of keeping women in cattle sheds, waking them up at 5am to take them to the milking machines, and inducing pregnancies once a year to keep the breasts full of milk. We'd also have to selectively breed women with massive boobage. And my preference, to be frank, is something small, round and pert. I'm sorry PETA - but not in my name, NOT IN MY NAME!!! *When I was in Northern Spain, I came across a very interesting cheese called a...

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The worst beer in the world

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:30:00 +0000

Carlsberg may or may not be the best beer in the world. I am but one man - it is not for me to judge. But I have now had the displeasure of tasting what is probably the worst beer in the world. It was in North Bar in Leeds, which has a great selection of beers - apart from one. Sadly, I don't remember the name of the beer, which means there's a slight chance I might unintentionally reorder it - it was something like Yorkshire White. The initial bouquet of the beer can only be described as vomit. However, foods which have an unpleasant smell can still taste great. Unfortunately in this case, it also tasted literally like vomit, and I do mean 'literally'. The barmaid said it is an acquired taste, but I prefer not to acquire the taste of somebody sicking up into a pint glass. The most amazing thing is that other people were managing to drink half a pint of it before giving in. score: minus two out of five

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Is it good to be fat?

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:42:00 +0000

There's a lot of moralising about weight in our society, and I've been guilty of it myself plenty too. Even the slight paunch I have, and any hint of my jawline receding, is enough to make me fear the prospect of becoming overweight. Apparently poorer people in the UK tend to be more overweight than wealthy people. Why is this. Fresh fruit and vegetables are cheap as chips - you can eat very healthily very cheaply. And the less you eat, the better off you are financially. It's not as if you can only afford to eat lard if you earn less than £60,000 a year. And the idea that over-eating causes weight gain is hardly a revolutionary scientific breakthrough. We've known this very well since the paleolithic. This issue is not down to lack of education about nutrition. So perhaps there's more to it than that. Perhaps over-eating to gain weight is simply a sensible insurance strategy if you are towards the lower end of the social hierarchy. If, for example, there were a sudden...

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The new poster boy of alternative medicine

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:22:00 +0000

So now we know that, whilst evading justice for the past few years, Radovan Karadjic was alive and well practicing alternative medicine in Belgrade. More pertinently, this tells us something profound about the gullibility of those who visit acupuncturists and homeopathists. Karadjic knew that he was one of the world's most wanted men and that his days were numbered. To prolong his liberty, he had to find a job where he could easily fool people that he was something he was not. Where people would not have their suspicions aroused, or ask awkward questions, or engage their critical faculties. And what better field in which to do this than in the field of alternative medicine?

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Why does a bishop need a penis?

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:20:00 +0000

Damned if I know. But 1,300 priests are threatening to leave the Church of England if it does not compromise and provide areas of the country where you are guaranteed a bishop with cock.

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Assisted suicide: a suggestion

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:52:00 +0000

I fully support people's right to die when they are suffering from a terrible illness with no chance of recovery. The thing which makes me feel uncomfortable, though, is that I don't like the thought of death being planned and scheduled. We're used to death coming unexpected - it's the natural order of things to have a sudden heart attack, or be hit by a bus, or stabbed by a hoodie. The thought of booking an appointment to be given a lethal injection strikes against that natural order of human experience. So here is my modest proposal: In the early stages of alzheimers or whatever, you take out a contract on your own life. You hire a hitman and give him instructions to shoot you in the back at some unspecified point over the next two years or so. You might be enjoying lunch in a cafe, swimming in the sea, or preparing dinner at home. You will never know when that shot is going to come. One provision in the contract could be that, if he misses, then he will walk away and try...

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The return of Blair

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Fri, 23 May 2008 11:59:00 +0000

There follows an account of events in British politics from May 2008 onwards. After Labour suffers its worst by-election defeat in living memory, Gordon Brown is in danger of going down as the most rubbish prime minister in history. The problems continue. House prices continue to plummet, and fuel prices continue to rise. Brown loses a crucial vote on 42 days detention. Labour is panicking. They know they are facing meltdown with Brown at the helm. Efforts to persuade him to stand down continue to no avail. An acrimonious leadership battle ensues, and Jack Straw is overwhelmingly elected to provide a caretaker leadership. Brown retires to the backbenches, where his brooding sulk outlasts even that of Ted Heath. Labour's decline stabilises, but it is still looking pretty bleak. Spring 2009 - the unexpected death of an MP in a marginal Labour seat. The Tories are confident of another big victory, until Labour announces its candidate: a certain Tony Blair. On a glorious...

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Uncover yourself woman

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Thu, 22 May 2008 10:25:00 +0000

I'm becoming increasing disgruntled about the numbers of women wearing pillbox style niqabs or burkas of late. I'm convinced that numbers are increasing. My tolerance is beginning to be stretched. As far as I'm concerned, somebody can wear whatever they like, as long as they cover their scrotum and private orifices (that's my minimum standard of decency - I don't believe that anybody deserves to be inflicted in public with the sight of a dangling scrote). But I'm beginning to find this face covering pretty unacceptable. I was in court in Bradford yesterday, and there were loads of them hanging around. It's a fairly primitive barrier to justice and fairness before the law if you can't even see a witness' face. I wouldn't seek a public ban - you tend to get unintended consequences when you ban things. Neanderthal husbands might insist that their wives simply do not leave the house if they're forbidden from covering their faces outside. That would merely bury problems of abuse...

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This is totally gay

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Thu, 22 May 2008 10:07:00 +0000

I'm back from a long blogging hiatus - essentially because I've been devoting my energy to other things, rather than because I'm dead or wounded. I was brought out of my slumber, though, by news of a Civil Registrar who is bringing a religious discrimination lawsuit against her employer - Islington Borough Council - because she doesn't want to preside over same-sex civil partnerships. For Christ's sake! - do your job woman. You're a civil registrar employed by the local council, not a Catholic priest or Muslim cleric. If you were one of the latter (gender issues aside), then you could legitimately say that such partnerships are ungodly and you will not preside over them in your temple. But as a civil servant, it is your job to carry out the law of the land. If you're a vegetarian, perhaps you shouldn't get a job in a slaughter house. And if you don't like same-sex unions, then don't get a job as a civil registrar. I was also quite disgruntled by this news that the President...

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Another victory against the forces of ignorance

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:45:00 +0000

I checked my bank statment this morning and discovered that somebody's been making unauthorised payments from my account. It was fraud which was easily identifiable, and the bank will hopefully sort it out fairly quickly. Here's another type of fraud... Psychics, and others who make their living by conning the foolish and desperate, are marching on Downing Street to protest about new laws which will shift the burden of proof for them to show they are not ripping people off. Apparently this is unfair and discriminates against their "religion". As if any of them actually believe in what they are doing anyway. Nobody who can genuinely see into the future or heal the sick with their bare hands would be hawking their wares out of a damp basement or in a shabby community centre. Even if a genuine psychic were not self-centred enough to retire on the fruit of their gift to a nice villa on the Riviera, surely they would be doing something a little more worthy than telling old ladies...

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Mr Patel, I salute you

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 16:13:00 +0000

The owner of our cornershop was Mr Patel. He was the best cornershopkeeper in the world - He stocked practically everything, and for the remainder, he would look into ordering it fairly quickly if requested. When I asked about organic milk, he asked a few canny questions, realised there was a market, and got it in stock. He seized the moment after EU accession by dedicating a few shelves and a refrigerator unit to Polish goods - and his shop was crammed full of Poles within hours. The queues in there when he got his Polish sausage supply in on a Wednesday was reminiscent of 1950s Warsaw. I have fond memories of him dealing with brain-fried alcoholics who considered it acceptable to pay for cider with a crusty sock full of 5p coins. Teenage shoplifters were apprehended on his grainy CCTV monitor within nanoseconds and frogmarched out with a tirade of profanities. In my alternative reality, frogmarching shoplifters out of a shop would be an Olympic sport, and Mr Patel would have...

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Should parents be able to choose a deaf baby?

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:44:00 +0000

No - is the obvious answer. But there was a deaf guy on the Today Program this morning arguing that they should be. He said that he wants IVF treatment, and to be able to select a deaf embryo over a hearing embryo because a deaf child would fit in better in his family unit. I find this infuriating. He refused to accept that deafness is a disability. His argument was as follows: Deaf people are able to lead fulfilling lives. There is a flourishing deaf culture. It is not diminishing quality of life to choose to bring a child into the world deaf. Ability to hear or not is essentially like skin colour or sexuality - and if you object to being able to choose to bring a deaf child into the world rather than a hearing child, then it is equivalent to racism. This is all complete twaddle. The interviewer made the point to him that deafness is clearly a disability. It prevents somebody from participating in many activities - he raised listening to a Beethoven symphony as an...

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Beating the call centres at their own game

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:47:00 +0000

I've had a brilliant idea for solving the frustration of phoning call centres to sort out extremely mundane details of life. Here it is: I set up a call centre in India. You need to query your gas bill, or phone your mobile phone company, or complain about a delayed train, or order a takeaway. Instead of phoning yourself, you instead pay my company a small fee to make the call for you. You supply all the relevant information via phone or email ; one of my call centre workers makes the call; and then sends back a report to you. Problem solved. It would be a bit like having a butler, but just for telephone calls. For people with spare cash but no time, it would be a real luxury. I'm gonna go on dragons den and get it ripped to shreds by billionnaires.

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Another earthquake!!!

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 21:11:00 +0000

Usually my thoughts as I drift to sleep centre around contentment thinking about jokes of the day just passed and speculation about whether I'll survive the night. Last night, my thought process was as follows: 1) Erwgh, some kind of wind demon in my bedroom 2) That's not wind. Alien invasion! - The mothership has landed - where's my gun? 3) Probably an earthquake - kewl. 4) Hang on, there will be couples across England making love at right this moment, and now for the rest of their lives will be able to joke that the earth literally did move for them. Dammit that I'm not one of them.

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How you can lose weight with economics

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:34:00 +0000

This is a brilliant idea. You write out a few £250 cheques to a charity and give them to a friend for safe-keeping. You then set yourself a target, such as losing a pound a week until you hit a certain weight. Each week your friend weighs you. If you fail to meet the target, they post one of the cheques. This is genius. Each decision would come down to "hmm, pie or £250", "lounge around or day, or £250". Set the penalty at the right level, and nobody in their right mind could fail to lose weight / give up smoking / whatever.

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Despicable example of journalist ethics from the Daily Mail

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 20:29:00 +0000

From LabourHome -----Original Message----- From: rsreply@dwpub.com [mailto:rsreply@dwpub.com] Sent: 13 February 2008 15:57 To:xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: Response Source - Diana Appleyard , Daily Mail (Request for personal case study) PUBLICATION: Daily Mail (Request for personal case study) JOURNALIST: Diana Appleyard (staff) DEADLINE: 14-February-2008 16:00 QUERY: I am urgently looking for anonymous horror stories of people who have employed Eastern European staff, only for them to steal from them, disappear, or have lied about their resident status. We can pay you £100 for taking part, and I promise it will be anonymous, just a quick phone call. Could you email me asap? Many thanks, Diana HOW TO REPLY: Email: mailto:dianaappleyard@aol.com Phone: not provided for use Fax: 01296 738083 (preferred) This email confirms what I've always thought about the Daily Mail. Y'see, they don't lie about things. They don't need to. If you want to depict Eastern Europeans...

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My other big idea

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:04:00 +0000

Just so it's down on paper, this is my second original big idea (see my prevous post for the other one). It's a bit sad how few original big ideas we have in a lifetime that are actually worth something. Those who know me will know that I'm quite good at coming up with original small ideas - but the big ones are way too difficult. So anyway, America is full of religious fanatics because of all the people with god genes being persecuted in Europe and moving over there. And... mechanised warfare is in the interests of sexual equality... How could this be? - I'll start of by stating unequivocally that I consider women on the whole to be far superior to men. Okay, some of them are annoyingly soppy or hysterical or have bad taste in men but, on the whole, y'know, they're clearly better than men. They're generally more intelligent, better organised, more empathetic, more conscientious, and more beautiful. For instance, a society could lose 90% of its men and still be viable. As...

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I've cracked it - why Americans are more religious than Europeans

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 10:45:00 +0000

It seems like an anomaly that religion plays so much more of a role in the USA than in Europe. We share a common Western heritage, so why are Americans so much more god-fearing? My hypothesis is it has to do with genetics. The USA was founded as a beacon of religious freedom. It didn't matter what nonsense you chose to believe, or which god you worshipped, you were welcome to move to the new country and worship freely (unless you then converted to Mormonism). This was in sharp contrast to many European countries where religious minorities were zealously persecuted - fined, imprisoned, denied many social rights. Some scientists have suggested that spirituality or belief in God may have genetic origins - that certain gene combinations would tend to lead people to have more faith in the supernatural. Taking this as our starting point, then we have a historical background of European religious persecution leading to migration to the USA. Taking this one step further, is it...

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Even a nun's p0rn is not sacred

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 21:25:00 +0000

I've just read the story that a man has been arrested in New Jersey for breaking into a church to look at the p0rn on a nun's computer. What is the world coming to when even a nun's p0rn is not safe from prying eyes. Just to emphasise, I came across this on japing ape blog, rather than by typing "nun p0rn" into google. (I'm now getting disturbed by the number of hits I'm getting on this blog from people looking for nun p0rn, so I have subtly replaced the 'o' in p0rn with a zero to try and keep away undesireables).

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Benefits of polygamy

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 16:14:00 +0000

The Sunday Telegraph has reported that the government has just agreed to shell out welfare payments for polygamous marriages. Even though bigamy carries a prison sentence in the UK, if the marriages took place abroad then the husband can claim benefits for them all. Although I'm personally opposed to polygamy, I believe it should be permissible in a free society. As long as all parties are aware it is happening then fair enough. If a bloke wants to set up his own harem then good luck to him. He can even employ eunuchs if he can find men willing to sign up for it. What is despicable though is to set up a harem and then expect everybody else to subsidise it. If you take on multiple wives or husbands, then you should be able to support them. If you can't, then maybe you've over-extended your means and should reconsider. Most people are opposed to polygamy, and generally resent the fact that the welfare state absorbs about 30% of tax money - so skulking along to the welfare...

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Bring back Danelaw!

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 11:42:00 +0000

So the Arch-Badger of Canterbury is open to the prospect of Sharia law in the UK. What about other antiquated legal systems with more of a connection to these islands though? Bring back Danelaw, that's what I say! - Not only does it have more of a history in Britain, but it is slightly less reactionary than Sharia Law (which proposes chopping off body parts or stoning for various activities which civil rights movements have fought tooth and nail for in this country). Here are some of the highlights of Viking law: Piracy against foreigners is legal - everybody loves pirates, - Danelaw would be a great vote-winner in this respect. Outlaws are cast into the wilderness, and can be hunted down and killed with impunity. This would placate the fox-hunting and anti-paedophile lobbies simultaneously. Dueling is legal - obviously in this day and age, most people would opt for a Nintendo Wii duel over actually throwing axes at each other. Ordeal by fire - you can prove innocence by...

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Misleading acupuncture / IVF headlines

noreply@blogger.com (peter) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:27:00 +0000

The BBC today reports that Acupuncture 'boosts IVF chances'. Other news sources modify the headline to say that it may boost chances, or it may slightly boost chances. However, reading the story itself, and a difference picture emerges. Basically, many studies have been done over the years which explore the effect of acupuncture on fertility. Some of these showed increased fertility rates, some diminished fertility rates, and others no effect whatsoever. What is being reported here is not a new study. It is a meta-analysis. Meta-analyses are where a number of previous studies are lumped together and their results analysed as one study. Obviously, the results of the meta-analysis are only as good as the studies it is comprised of. In this case, just seven trials were selected out of dozens available. These seven did not have the same methodology. Ultimately then, it has not told us anything new about the information available. We also have to be aware of a research bias. ...

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