EarthWindFire82 Started Thinking, and This Happened

Alright, we know Steve Jobs has passed...

2011-10-05T22:18:00.002-05:00

..but don't forget to read up on Rev. Fred Shuttlesworth..

http://www.good.is/post/five-things-you-should-know-about-fred-shuttlesworth/

I'll be continuing to PASS THROUGH Alabama...

2011-10-05T10:30:00.001-05:00

“The vanishing began Wednesday night, the most frightened families packing up their cars as soon as they heard the news.

They left behind mobile homes, sold fully furnished for a thousand dollars or even less. Or they just closed up and, in a gesture of optimism, left the keys with a neighbor. Dogs were fed one last time; if no home could be found, they were simply unleashed.

Two, 5, 10 years of living here, and then gone in a matter of days, to Tennessee, Illinois, Oregon, Florida, Arkansas, Mexico — who knows? Anywhere but Alabama.

The exodus of Hispanic immigrants began just hours after a federal judge in Birmingham upheld most provisions of the state’s far-reaching immigration enforcement law.”

—

After Ruling, Hispanics Flee an Alabama Town (via ryking)

They say that even fully documented Hispanic workers are leaving, an assessment that seems to be borne out in interviews here. The legal status of family members is often mixed — children are often American-born citizens — but the decision whether to stay rests on the weakest link.

(via wthellokitty)

Any asshole who wants to bitch about the language abilities of any immigrant can consider what it might really be like to live in this kind of fear. Consider the fact that many US’ers really have no fucking clue what it’s actually like to know that this kind of persecution is a real possibility for many people who just want a better life for themselves, then ~~kindly~~ sit the fuck down & shut the fuck up.

(via velocicrafter)

I Am the 99%

2011-10-05T10:29:00.000-05:00

“College debt shows up a lot in these stories, actually. It’s more insistently present than housing debt, or even unemployment. That might speak to the fact that the protests tilt towards the young. But it also speaks, I think, to the fact that college debt represents a special sort of betrayal. We told you that the way to get ahead in America was to get educated. You did it. And now you find yourself in the same place, but buried under debt. You were lied to.”

—	“Who are the 99 percent?,” Ezra Klein, The Washington Post (via hold-a-wolfs-ears) truth. (via dopegirlfresh)

I Love The POTUS

2011-10-05T10:28:00.001-05:00

chris-nolans.tumblr.com →

stfuconservatives:

President Barack Obama criticises Republican silence on booing of gay soldier. (x)

He needs to bust out that face and finger more often, it just screams “I have had. enough. of. you.”

-Joe

It’s also a part of “The Continuing Adventures of Barack Obama, America’s Dad”

See…yall just don’t know. That man is awesome.

Express Scripts Disconnects from Walgreens Effective 2012..

2011-09-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

So yeah, Express Scripts will be ending their partnership with Walgreens effective 2012.

People, you just don’t know how irritated this makes me. I hate when these sumbitches take away my choices. It’s bad enough that I’m a sickly bastard that NEEDS prescriptions, but now I’m being told I have to find another pharmacy.

I’m sure everyone will be like “just go to Walmart, CVS, Kroger or somewhere else”. Thing is, the few times I need meds, typically for sinus reasons, I have to go to Walgreens. Being allergic to:

Aspirin

Ibuprofen

And Aleve (bka-Naproxen)

..means that my illnesses have to be treated on a symptom by symptom basis, and I tend to get the runaround from other pharmacies.

This is the shit that makes me so livid. If I wanted to leave Walgreens, I would have done this years ago.

Ah well, I guess Express Scripts doesn’t care if my rare meds aren’t available elsewhere. I must be cheaper dead. But I can’t die in 2012 because I haves shit to do. Until 2012, I’ll just be mad everytime I go pick up my shit from Walgreens.

My Two Cents About the Public Opinion of Weight

2011-09-08T15:39:00.003-05:00

So, I was reading about Pauline Potter, the current Guinness World Record Holder for the World’s Fattest Woman. She stated that she submitted information in hopes of getting help. She stated that she’s aware she has a “sweet tooth” and possibly a “slow metabolism”. Pauline reached out to Oprah, Dr. Oz, and Dr. Phil in hopes of finding help in losing weight.

What’s most disturbing about the article isn’t so much her weight being 632 pounds, but the comments of the people on Huffington Post & People Online. It really shows how people really feel about overweight people as a whole.

Apparently, there’s no “slightly overweight” or “kinda fat” to people in society. Anyone who’s seen as fat gets the same treatment in public. A quick scan of the comments really disturbs me. Now, once I got beyond the typical online trolls and those with Internet Balls, I got the following ideas on what people think:

*Fat people sit up all day and gorge.

*Pauline shouldn’t be smiling because death isn’t funny.

*Obesity is a disease.

*She’s wrong for overeating when there are starving people in the world

*She’ll likely die of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure or stroke.

*She doesn’t want help because she’s smiling.

Yeap, that’s the general consensus.

What bothers me is that people really do feel those things are completely true…but such fallacies are deadly and such. Before you go into an “Obesity Kills” rant, pay attention.

Fat people don’t all sit up and gorge. One look at Sonya “Black Widow” Thomas will attest to that. When you read about a woman eating 183 hot wings in 12 minutes, you don’t expect to see this:

Exactly. As a big girl, I also know that’s a damn lie. My doctor had me to keep a food journal during my exploits in weight loss. One day, I actually logged in no breakfast, two chicken legs for lunch, and a dinner of baked pork chops and broccoli without cheese. My heaviest day saw a turkey sandwich and potato salad for lunch, and a trip to Paula Deen’s for dinner with my crew. After reading over it, she said “minus Paula Deen this past Friday, you don’t eat enough”.

Yes, I didn’t lose weight because I didn’t eat enough.

I told her that as a big girl in society, you’re constantly questioned about what’s on your plate. I always got teased in school for my weight, and even when eating a half a pickle and a bottle of water, I was told “damn fatass, you think you NEED that”. In an entire year at Central High School in 1997-98, I couldn’t tell you what the cafeteria looked like. Only reason I saw the one at White Station was because I cut through it for Band Class. Oddly, my time at WSHS found no bullying & heckling about my size.

I guess my personality mattered more than my size there.

So yeah, not every fat person sits down to 2 pizzas & a 2 liter of orange soda. But Kel loves orange soda.

What’s also amusing is how there’s a general assumption that “Fat Fokes’ Diseases” exist. Yeah, we know the cure for some ills is weight loss, but my med school or M.D. fokes could tell you that there isn’t a list of diseases called “Fat Fokes’ Diseases”. I will attest from family history that those with the “Fat Fokes’ Diseases” of hypertension, heart disease, diabetes or whatnot were not fat.

Such things are funny to me. I’m no doctor, but I’m amused that people really assume all fat people are walking around dying of certain diseases. I’m certain that ANYONE of ANY SIZE who eats a shitload of junk is prone to some form of disease. Conversely, it’s unhealthy to eat like a flippin boid (bird) too. I mean, unless you want to eat an apple and a cup o’ coffee a day and go all Christian Bale on fokes.

Lastly, I hate that society thinks fat = miserable. I know that some big girls/guys want to lose weight or tone up, and honestly I am one. Not that I’m so ashamed of the curves..

..but I have a ~~disability~~ condition in which a few pounds reduced would alleviate joint pressure in my feet. (Another post in itself). My goal, however, is not 150 pounds. (You do know that people have different frames, therefore there is no “perfect weight” right?) For years, I was made to feel bad about being a big girl by bastards and even the good ol’ media. I’ve been told that “a few situps” would do me good (so when my big ass actually DID them successfully, he kinda shet up).

Which leads me to another damn thing. WHO in the hell began this assumption that all fat people are lazy bastards sitting on their respective asses doing nothing? I’ve been fat and legally ~~disabled~~ Differently Abled all my life and guess what..even with both “strikes against me (as I’ve been told), I played percussion in the marching band, took martial arts, kicked a few asses and land a whole husband.

~~Bitches.~~ Now what?

In my brief time manifesting on Tumblr, I’ve seen gorgeous big girls & guys, not ashamed of the bellies and happy in their skin or eating a bag of skins. I mean, are they bad for feeling happy and confident? Is it wrong that Pauline smiled in her picture? I guess “she doesn’t need help because she thinks it’s funny”. If you’re fat or over the ideal weight, are you not allowed to be happy, even if it’s for reasons other than your size? Maybe Pauline’s happy her story is being told. Or could she be happy that she’s still alive? Even as I fight with my crises of self at times, can I not smile about my kids or admire my dimples? Do I have to sit around my home in the closet alone crying about being fat?

***going to Hades for that last link***

If it were up to the bastards on those message boards, you’re not allowed to be happy or smile if you’re overweight.

I didn’t mean to go ALL THE WAY ham, just moderately ham. But in the end, get over the bullshit, people. Get beyond the belly, people. Whether a fat person wants to be slim or just a certain size, it’s none of your concern unless they explicitly made it your concern. But since we’re not all perfect any damn way, it shouldn’t matter.

SOOOO, stop messing with fokes:

An Open Letter to Memphis City Schools

2011-07-20T10:45:00.001-05:00

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing to you today as an angry parent. I am angry because Kriner Cash and many others involved in the issues with Memphis City Schools think that my daughter and others in the district are pawns. Our children are suffering while those in positions are in a Power Play to try and throw their weight around.

I’m certain that many will argue that the delay in the start of the school year does not mean that our kids will be denied an education. I can almost hear the patronizing voices of Board members telling us that all the City Council has to do is pay the $55 million and all will be well. I am also hearing people say “the children WILL get 180 days of education”. However, I say that I do not have the same trust in this school system to guarantee that my daughter and other children will have access to quality education. Tennessee requires children between ages 6 and 17 to be in school. However, until certain people get what they want, it looks as if my child and others won’t be doing that in the MCS district…well until agendas are met.

Upon reviewing the Memphis City Schools’ website, I found myself wondering how much of the information provided actually matches what’s presented in the media. According to the “Students’ Rights & Responsibilities”, the following rights were listed:

Each student has the right to:

a) Have the opportunity for a free education in the most appropriate learning environment;

b) Be secure in his/her person, papers and effects against unreasonable searches and seizure;

c) Expect that the school will be a safe place;

d) Have an appropriate environment conducive to learning;

e) Not be discriminated against on the basis of sex, race, color, age creed, religion, national origin, disabilities, 1,3 or sexual orientation; and

f) Be fully informed of school rules and regulations.

Upon further review of the Memphis City Schools website, I ran across the Ethics policy (1.106) and the purpose of this policy is to “ensure that school board members conduct their associations with organizations and individuals outside the school district and inside the school district in a manner demonstrating the highest degree of integrity”. Needless to say, this current situation has little to no integrity. In case you aren’t familiar with more of this Ethics policy, I have posted more parts below:

The Board of Education adopts the Tennessee School Board Association’s Code of Ethics as outlined below.

Relations to Children

Board members will at all times think of “children first,” always determining other important things according to how they affect education and training of children.

Board members will seek to provide equal educational opportunities for all children regardless of ability, race, color, sex, creed or location of residence.

Relations to Community

Board members will endeavor to appraise fairly both the present and future educational needs of the community and to support improvements as finances permit.

Board members will represent at times the entire school community and refuse to represent special interest or partisan politics.

Board members will endeavor to keep the community informed about the progress and needs of the schools.

Relations to Teachers and Personnel

Board members will support the employment of those persons best qualified to serve as employees and insist on a regular and impartial evaluation of all staff.

Board members will support and protect personnel in performance of their duties.

It’s likely that there will be arguments about finances warranting this emergency delay in opening. Granted, there may not be any rules mandating when schools are opened. However, who wins in this battle? Even if the city council decides to hand over the $55 million immediately, this entire drama has left a bad taste in the mouths of the parents. Am I to believe that as long as Kriner Cash is superintendent that he will sacrifice the kids to make “business decisions”? Should I anticipate another battle until we are merged with Shelby County Schools? If schools end up beginning on time, teachers are paid and students are able to begin learning, what security do I have that something else won’t emerge later that renders me helpless as a working mom?

As of 10:20am on July 20, 2011, Memphis City Schools and #mcs is a Trending Topic on Twitter. We aren’t trending because of the President’s visit like we once were, but because our kids aren’t going to begin classes on August 8^th. People are Tweeting, blogging and Facebooking about how angry they are for living in Memphis right now. Jokes are made about there being an NFL Lockout, an NBA Lockout and an MCS Lockout. We have been discussed on CNN and even The Tom Joyner Morning Show over this mess. Just weeks ago, we were at our highest level as a community as we cheered on Booker T. Washington, now we’re not even sure when the Class of 2012 will start school.

I know that this is a lengthy, angry rant, but I am but one angry voice of thousands. My 5 year old daughter’s late birthday meant that she would begin Kindergarten near her 6^th birthday. She’ll actually tell you that being born in November is why she’s 5 years old and still in daycare. So when she’s eventually asked why she’s nearly 6 years old and still in daycare, should I tell her that it’s no longer her birthday as the cause for the delay, but political foolishness in a school system without a charter led by a power tripping Superintendent? Or should I tell her that it’s because her mom and dad can’t afford private school? Maybe I should tell her because her parents decided to live comfortably near their jobs instead of in the County, so they can save money for their first home.

I guess that’s the downside of living within your means in Memphis…you can’t pack up and run when things like this happen. Well, whether I could uproot or not, I will be fighting. I’m fighting for my daughter and other children who deserve to learn regardless of whether they live near Northside, Southside, East or Westwood. This is for the honest parents who would LOVE to claim a friend’s address to get their kids into Shelby County School districts, but instead do the right thing. This is for the people who can’t afford to migrate to DeSoto County and for those who just don’t want to leave. We will continue to raise hell until this mess is resolved. This is unfair, and it needs to be resolved. Everyone who has a say needs to do whatever they can to get school started on time. Stop bickering over 10% and do the right thing for a change. Stop delaying the rights of our children. Stop playing with the incomes of the already underpaid and overworked teachers.

In short, I want everyone reading this to do something. As a parent, I am doing my job. I ask you all to work together to get our schools open soon. Even if there is nothing you can do, forward this to someone who can. Pass it on to any and every person of power. Maybe if enough people care, we can make a difference.

Thank you for your time,

Tamara Cranford

Tam's Planking Post (aka-Hush)

2011-06-30T16:58:00.001-05:00

So, I had like, 7 people ask me what the hell Planking was. I wish I had a really solid definition that was eloquent as hell, but I don’t. So here it is…

…planking is the fine art of laying face down with your arms by your side on random crap…

That’s it.

Seriously.

Nothing more..nothing less.

A certain blogger and a few other people don’t really take to this new craze. The reason stated was that Blacks were taking to it and weren’t aware of the slavery reference. One blogger even inferred that our “mindless sheep” mentality was going to be the death of us. (The slavery definition of Planking involved stacking slaves face down like planks with their arms chained to their sides). Thing is, the craze itself so happens to share its name with a very dank practice, but appears to have no racist undertones.

Since I’m a staunch supporter of the insanity that is Planking, I decided to do some research. Apparently, this game was allegedly invented in 1997 and popularized in England. As a matter of fact, the craze spread in Europe and Australia before it even made it to the US. Over there, it was referred to as “The Laying Down Game”.

After reading a few articles MONTHS AGO, I found it necessary to like the Planking page for Australia. It looked like some silly, harmless fun.

But of course…fokes got to run with it and go off and die. A few people Planked their last Plank in some foolish places andd were killed or hurt. As with any fad, there is that one or them fokes. I mean, who in DE hell thought Planking on a railroad track with a train coming was smart?

Truth be told, it’s nothing but something for a laugh. It isn’t racist, it isn’t the worst thing Black people could ever do, and it for damn sure is less dangerous than flickin' Downtown! Hell, if I wasn’t by myself all the time, I prolly would’ve posted some pics because I have some mighty wicked Planks!

Let’s find something else to fight for and about. It’s a fad that will probably be gone in a few months.

So, if the term “Planking” bothers you, call it “Modified Richy Shit”.

She SAID She Was Sexy!!! (From 6/21/11)

2011-06-30T16:55:00.000-05:00

A Facebook friend of mine posted a status asking if a woman should have a right to get mad when they’re harassed for dressing of the sexy. Allow me to share my thoughts in mah own forum because I didn’t want to bo-guard his.

Let me begin by saying this: SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND RAPE IS WRONG AS HELL NO MATTER WHAT THE HELL A WOMAN (OR MAN) IS WEARING! NOBODY “ASKS FOR IT”!

Now, onto my thoughts.

I think that some women these days have made things difficult for themselves. Some of them scream about wanting a husband and how they are “Divas”. They talk about how they aren’t going to let a man mistreat them and that they deserve respect. As they’re carrying on this conversation, they’re prepping to go to the club without a bra on, wearing leggings and a short shirt with no underwear. They would have spent mad grip on a hood ass hairdo with the most flammable of cheap weave and are about to leave their kid(s) with someone who is most likely irresponsible as hell.

They’ll then get to the club and hang with a herd of women on a similar level of blistering hoodrattery, only to have an attitude when a dude walks up to them and says something right sideways. She’s ready to pull the switchblade from under her tongue and send him straight to M.J. Edwards.

If I were a man, I’d be confuzzled.

*ponders* But she ain’t got on no panties, them tights (not leggings) she’s wearing shows me a cutout of the kitty, and she ain’t wearing a bra…so I figured she was going. Ah well, on to her friend.

But I ask the question, what type of attention does a woman expect to get when she governs herself as such? Why would she take her size 18 ass and squeeze it into a size 10 dress, then get mad when cuz walks up on her and try to get it?

“But Tamara” you ask, “what’s wrong with being sexy”?

Not a damn thing!

I can take a tour of my Facebook friends’ club pics and post dozens of Sexy Gone Right examples. I’ve seen quality wigs and weaves worn to compliment the MAC decorated faces. The curvy chicas who ain’t a-scared to show it are rocking the fitted (not TIGHT) ensembles. These ladies’ crews roll deep full of sexiness, with a hint of classiness and fun. *sighs* Yeah, some dude with a Duke still walks up on them occasionally I’m sure, but not too many bruhs are going to come at them sideways because they don’t give off that “I NEED your attention” vibe.

Sexiness exudes from within. It’s a mindset that emi-emin-immi-um, comes from your pores. True sexy people know that it’s not about how much or how little they wear. The cost of the apparel means nada, as it’s the attitude that gets you. Sexy knows no size, race, age or income level. It’s a feeling. A half-nekkid chica in the club thinks she’s sexy, but she doesn’t KNOW it. If she KNEW she was sexy, she’d have no reason to compete with the other ladies.

So yeah, a half-nekkid broad will get negative attention. She might get her light bill paid, but nothing of substance because she isn’t carrying herself with substance. A crew of sexy ladies with class may not get one dude to talk to them, but they will be getting looks. Besides, someone looking for easy prey knows to chase after the cows and leave the stallions be…

A Short Purge of the Medulla (From 5/30/11)

2011-06-30T16:54:00.000-05:00

You know...fokes bother me. I think there is something really wrong with our good people. We tend to spend a great deal of time complaining and bitching about what a person does wrong. We don't have any qualms in telling someone that another person is a whore or a slut. Fokes will see a pregnant girl and shake our head at her, condeming her to a life of mediocrity and shame. Families will sit in circles talking about family members who are on drugs and strung out.

But nobody ever asks "why".

Why does that woman feel the need to be sexually open with whoever she feels like? Why did that young girl end up pregnant? Why did that relative get hooked on drugs? Well, nobody asks because it's not as interesting to find out anything. Research takes time and effort. The outcome isn't always as interesting as the hypotheses. I guess if it turned out that the young girl really felt as if she was in love with the father of her child and believed him when he said he would be there for them, it wouldn't be as fun as dooming her. Uncovering a family secret that reveals long time issues of abuse would probably render some people silent...and then they would have to seek help for that junkie uncle.

Ah, who wants to actually care?

I think that in this shortcutting age, it's not fun to take the long way around to a solution. Quick food, fast texts, 4G Speed hookups and crash diets...that's the society we live in today. I guess it's easier to point fingers than to extend a hand.

Tam's Two Cents on Bullies...(From 5/10/11)

2011-06-30T16:53:00.000-05:00

This morning before my Grandma picked up the kids for school, I heard a troubling exchange between middle school girls. From what I could see out my patio door, it was one smaller girl surrounded by 4 taller girls. I turned down the TV and listened. The ringleader, who I referred to as Baby D had a lot to get off her chest to the young girl. As a matter of fact, Baby D did most of the talking for a good minute.

"I don't preshate you talking to my man, bitch. You think you all that, but you ain't shit! You think you bout something because you got good hair? Bitch, I'll snatch you baldheaded about mine. Don't be rolling your eyes at me either because I'll punch you in both eyes".

"I'm not trying to get with your man! He is my partner in a project! That's all! Please stop with the crap before I call the police on you"!

"Bitch, put that Cricket phone down! You'll be knocked out and I'll be long gone before you even dial for help! Nobody cares about your ol' Section 8 ass no way! And I know why you don't want my man! You want me, don't you! You a dyke AND a hoe! Just like your hoe ass mama! All of yall are dyke sluts! HAHA!"

At this point, the girl tries to walk away, but Baby D pulls her backpack. (Sidebar, I'm wondering where MPD is at this point because we live across the street from the precinct. Feeling safer by the day...)

"BITCH! Don't walk away from me! You want me! I know you do! Broke ass! I ought to TwitPic your broke ass!"

At this point, I am incensed but defenseless. Just as I prepare to call 911, the young girl finally got tired of the BS.

"LOOK! I DON'T WANT YOU! I DON'T WANT YOUR MAN! I AM IN THE 6TH GRADE AND I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS MESS! YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO TO HIGH SCHOOL AND YOU'RE TRYING TO PICK ON FOKES YOUNGER THAN YOU! YOU DON'T HAVE REAL FRIENDS BECAUSE IF YOU DID, THEY WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU HOW STUPID YOU LOOK FIGHTING OVER A DUDE THAT AIN'T STUDDIN' YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE! And another thing...if you touch me again, I will knock the brakes off of you because I have a black belt...so you might want to go find another person to play with.."

And like that, she walked away. Baby D's crew didn't say a word. Hell, Baby D didn't say a word. All she could say was "whatever, bitch" before telling her crew to mob out with her.

I was proud of that young girl. I am always proud when people take power away from bullies. It reminded me of when I stood up for myself over the years.

In this day and time, people have resorted to being bitter and miserable. It's apparently spreading to their kids because now, the internet has given people a place to harass more people than they could do in person. Kids create fake profiles to attack each other and parents always assume that "my baby would never do such a thing". Well, to me, bullies are the lowest form of person on Earth. Bullies are lower than liars, thieves, murderers, and abusers...because to me, they are all one in the same.

A bully is weak. A bully is a miserable soul whose pain is relieved in causing pain in someone else. Why do you think bullies tease people over the dumbest mess? Too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too smart, too dumb, too light, too dark, etc. It looks like whatever a bully can find to pick at, he will. That's a sign of weakness and pain. A bully enjoys transferring her pain. Look into the past of a bully and you will find a wounded soul. A person who is satisfied with his or her life does not have time to analyze yours.

Let me say that again.

A person who is satisfied with his or her life does not have time to analyze yours.

Baby D over here near Hickory Ridge Middle School is likely an unhappy girl. She was actually very beautiful, but her mouth and her behavior made her ugly. Now, the young girl she was heckling was gorgeous and dressed appropriately, and that in itself may have been Baby D's issue. Either way, she is a sad child.

In short, take your power back from a bully. Let them know that deep down inside, they can't hurt you if they don't have the ability. Just like that girl spoke her piece and walked away, that's what you should tell these kids to do. And if they put a finger on them, call 911 or tell someone. Keeping it secret gives them power...and they damn sure don't deserve it.

After a Round With Coco B. Ware (Originally from 4/26/11)

2011-06-30T16:51:00.000-05:00

Again yall, I can't believe I allowed myself to resort to such foolery. I don't usually do that, but for some reason, it had to be done. Allow me to share the backstory for those who didn't catch the act...

In September 2009, I took a picture of a gentleman with a very nice purse. The subtitle was "Really..." and I proceeded to compliment his purse. Only one person made mention of his lifestyle (as I am mindful that not all people are in agreement with the LGBT community), but we all remarked about his purse...

..not satchel..

Today, he added me as a friend. It wasn't until I saw he commented on the picture that I realized he took the pic as a slight. Instead of being a grown man and messaging me, he attacked me under the picture. Jones even called me a "fat Murtle Urkel"!

LMAO! DUDE!

Though I never once attacked his lifestyle, I admit that I went in on him because I didn't appreciate how he came at me. I didn't appreciate being made fun of by some cat who really doesn't know me. Besides, all he had were "fat bytch" comments and other grammatical errors to chuck at me.

DUH! I knew I was fat already!

LATE!

I had made plans to delete this donkey afterwards, but he deleted himself. He proceeded to attack any everyone who commented after.

When I look back at my comments, I can say that I am proud I kept it clean-ish. I didn't have to resort to ignorance to convey my points. I meant every word I said to him. I basically told him that 1) I never said a bad thing about him and 2) if you are such a "Bossbytch", why would you even care what people thought?

My self-confidence takes a hit every now and then, but it's never from another person's comments. We are often are harshest critics, and sometimes we see things that others don't see. But trust me when I say that no man can make Tam feel low. A confident "Queen" would not have wasted one minute on that picture. You think confident people care what others think? Chile please. Gay or straight, a person with high self esteem will not have an attitude. That person will not waste time living in anger about other's opinions.

That's why I did apologize in my status...because I should not have gone back and forth with him.

BUT, you can't eff up my couch and not get your legs beat.

I'm Rick James, bitch.

De-AWOL-ed

2011-06-30T16:49:00.001-05:00

It's odd looking at this blog and wondering where I disappeared to for like two months.

I realized that I didn't.

It blew up.

Like, it didn't cooperate.

So, I'm going to be posting some of my greatest hits in that two month break...because yall don't want to foller me on Tumblr or whatnot.

And this here is my stomping ground, too.

Methinks this is called "Saturating the Market".

I want EarthWindFire82 EVERYWHERE!!!

Fundamentals of Summertime Fat...

2011-06-05T22:08:00.003-05:00

Allow me to begin by saying...I'm fat.

I knew last Tuesday.

I'll be fat again this Tuesday.

Seeing as I am of the fat, I can share this good knowledge with thee. As it is hot as hell, I think we should address how to be fat in the summer. After all, everyone pissed on their resolutions back in March.

Many big gals (and boys) have violated the fat rules already. In case you didn't know what said rules are, allow me to share:

1. Wear what you like, as long as it fits and you have proper undergarments.

2. Know your body's shape, flaws and all.

3. Lift and separate when washing.

4. Be confident

5. No need to talk about skinny fokes. Just the mean skinny fokes.

Simple rules for fat fokes to live by. And in June, sumbitches have already pissed on the rules. Thus far, rules #1, #2 and #3 have been pissed on.

Royally.

Rule #1 gives you freedom to wear whatever the hell you want. That means if you are a size 28 and you find a dress your size, party on Wayne! HOWEVER, the rest of the rule states that you must wear proper undergarments!!! If you have big boobs, no cheap bras!

I repeat...IF YOU HAVE BIG BOOBS, NO CHEAP BRAS!!!

Yes. Since it's hot as piss and you want to be as close to nekkid as legally possible, at least pick proper items. Simply Fashions and Rainbow's clothes run small...so don't grab a 2X without trying it on first. Nothing's more embarrassing as a big chick than seeing a big chick's dimples peeking out in a dress with dead ass panties* on.

*dead ass panties (adj.)* Underwear that is too tight, too loose, holey or held together with cheap elastic or none at all.

I am a living example of Rule #2. I am a big girl who is bigger at the bottom. I have larger thighs and hips...and I wear them mighty well! LOL! My arms are larger than normal, and having two kids have given me another "D" up top. That description may sound condescending, but it's all facts. I have to know my body because I have to dress it. That means that while I may rack up on Old Navy tees and the cheapest of shirts, I have to spend a little more on my bottoms because I has all this train following me. Also, I need good boob support otherwise...I'll get them caught in my socks.

Already, we have run across women who have no clue about their body shapes OR simply don't care. I can't wear shorts. Well, I COULD, but I rather not due to my body shape. I'd have to go up two sizes, put a dart in the waist and then the legs of the shorts would be wide. Like..Grandma took a trip to Disneyland wide. This heat done made bitches delirious because you have F cup titties hanging in wife beaters. You got Daisy Dukes on wopped bodies. Damn, can you cop some Spanx if you wearing some jersey knits???

And finally...Lord...there have been mad violations of Rule #3. You ain't supposed to smell like red onions if you ain't been cooking. I have run across some rancid funk in these last few weeks!!! You know good and hell well that you got rolls. You knew that Wednesday! When you take some soap to yo ass, LIFT AND SEPARATE! Let that water get to the bone! Don't spray a shitload of flammable shit on you because you smell like old mustard near a gentle waterfall. As a big person in a world in which we are already teased, can you not be musty? For me, please?

I'm not telling you that you can't be sexy if you want to be, pudgy chicas. Wear whatever the hell you want. Do you, boo boo. But damn, remember the fundamentals. Quit losing yoself in this hot. Put some powder under them titties. If it's too hot for a girdle then pick a different material.

Just make sho you wash, rinse, and repeat.

Subsequently followed by washing, rinsing and repeating.

Good Friday Comedy...aka-The Plight of the Conchord

2011-04-22T13:54:00.002-05:00

So, I had a lot of funny stuff to happen this week in my plight of slowly de-fatting myself.

I reckons I'll share.

I had a few moments of freedom at work and I decided that since I haven't had time to work out, I would do that thing where I just have fast breaks of extra movement. You know, since I can't go outside and walk the track, I would powerwalk around the floor. Seeing as I'm often perch-ed at my desk, I assumed some movement was better than none. I took the scenic route to the ice machine. I picked up the pace coming in and out of work. Just anything.

So, one day, I decided to hoof it out of work.

Something about these Reebok Zigtechs that makes me forget I'm fat.

Your girl, straight BALLED OUT! I mean, I was running for the first time since I last went to the Mid-South Fair!

I didn't even fall!

Suddenly, a man was running with me.

I said, "burning calories too"?

He said "no, I was about to ask what happened"?

I blinked. "What you mean what happened" as I slowed to a walk.

"Well, I saw you run out the building and I was trying to see if I needed to call for help".

*redface*

"No, sir...I was just trying to be more active...everything's fine".

"Oh, well, congrats on the lifestyle improvement! I should follow suit!"

See...EVERYTIME the fat chick runs...

When I got to The Cobalt and sipped my water, all I could do was roll! Ah well, I burned like a calorie running and about 40 more laughing! At any rate, I decided to try some more random stuff around the workhouse. Like, substituting my two daily Red Bulls with water. When I woke up an hour later, I realized that wasn't a good idea.

I then decided to try doing a lunge here and there. So, I walked in the supply room and took a lunge.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my arm

"Gotcha Tam!"

"Huh"

"Thought you were about to fall!"

Yeah, so apparently, this is going to be a hilarious process. Pray for me people. I'm trying to tweak my shed-ule so I can at least walk in a park or something. Maybe I won't have fokes thinking I'm about to keel over...

~Tam

T.E.N. Musical Equilibrium..or Lack Thereof

2011-04-19T14:50:00.001-05:00

Beyonce's new song sucks to me.

Sorry.

I don't mean to alienate my gays.

But I took a listen to "Girls (Who Run the World)" and I was like, it would be a good song if she wasn't singing. Like, if a SWAC band was playing the song while the gays and Jaycettes dance.

Listen to it...(http://www.popeater.com/2011/04/19/beyonce-girls-who-run-the-world/)

See?

I almost caught an epilepsy.

You can't play that shit in the club!

On a side note, I really hate that music has fainted like this. Anytime a person could come up with this high rooty-pootery and it float just because you are a big name..the industry is dead! I could hit her in the mouf with a houseshoe for this song. It was so bad, I been purging my brain with Earth Wind & Fire, Prince, Phyllis Hyman and Pharoah Sanders! Oh man.

I am so mad!

I am only 28 but I know that if we don't get some real artists out here soon to put together a track that isn't over-produced Tom Foolery soon, I am going to leave my radio off until All Blues Saturday.

I think it's time for Theodis Ealy.

AHHH THE MUSIC PLAYER IS REPEATING THE BEYONCE SONG!!!

*clicks the "x" furiously*

Maybe Jilly can help revive music before it's cremated....

...until then...Adele..come here woman...I need to roll in the deep.

~Tamara

Some #RichyShit

2011-04-14T12:43:00.000-05:00

Is We Growing Down?

2011-04-14T10:44:00.004-05:00

First of all, where are the following people:

Dru Down?

MC Eiht?

Positive K?

Your Daddy?

So anyways, I am uber hyper today, and I keep feeling like if I don't watch myself, I'm going to cut a damn cartwheel. I have to remind myself that I am fat so I won't jump off of anything.

*cues Go Go Gadget Gospel*

Well, I was wondering if people get to a certain age and grow down. I have never encountered so many immature people in my life. I don't know if it's a subconscious desire not to be a responsible adult or just adult-onset bitchdom.

In the short time we've been in 2011, I have discovered that fokes are acting extra tasty crispy. Nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions.

Nobody wants to be ambitious.

Why is we not taking care of your damn kids?

PULL YO GOTDAMN PANTS UP!

Why is you always gossipin'?

**sidebar, not the GOOD gossip either**

Are people afraid to be adults? Must we remain in a perpetual state of schoolyard?

Can men be men and women be women?

Why put yourself in grown situations yet remain childish?

*uh oh...time for classy brass*

I am very, VERY hyper today!

Okay, so I guess it's the in thing to commit the act of Runteldat, but then to get mad when it's returned unto you. I mean, is it okay to commit Facebook Snitchery and add friends just to see what your ex is doing now? I thought messiness expired December 31, 2010..

Ooh, and what about when people try to read between statuses and figure out who you're talking about? Like, about 1, 2, 7 of yall are going to say "who is Tam calling immature"?

If you actually are asking...then it's YOU!

I reckons I've ranted enough about this matter. I am going to attempt to take the edge off of my hyper and listen to some Johnny Cash.

Nope. Now I want some water.

Saddle Shoes & Back in the Groove

2011-04-13T13:19:00.009-05:00

I meant what I said yesterday.

I still wonder where the punchline is. Like, when is someone going to tell me that this is a major joke and it's going to get better soon.

You know, like...where is Amy Grant to come out with the happy people and the dude dressed like Spiderman to say "little birdie, you're free cuz he paid the price".

That's what happens when I take Tylenol PM too early.

Sooo yeah, last night, I sat up and thought. I had no choice because I was up front with CJ and he hides remotes.

I let something get to me that had never gotten to me before. At age 28.781, I allowed something that has affected me from birth finally get me down. Something that I had cracked jokes about, hid quite well and even ignored...had broken my spirit.

After tearing up, I had to ask myself why it bothered me this time. What about this last month made me so upset.

I realized why...because I actually started to pity myself.

Tamara...pitied herself.

I am the bouncy, bubbly vibrant soul who uplifts and amuses everyone else, and I was pitying myself.

After I pulled CJ off of the PS3, I then had to wonder why I pitied myself. What made me feel so bad? I shouldn't have asked why because I almost had to break out a class of Crown. Instead, I settled on some tea. Milo's to be exact. Milo's is some good ass tea. It comes in a gallon and it's kind of like the tea that you have to cut a little with some ice, but you find it's a tad crackish.

Alas, I digress.

I got tired of limited options. Everyone heard about THE dress I bought. I had almost 10 people around the region trying to find shoes for me to wear with it. As of today, I still have none. It hurt my spirit because it made me realize why I never tried to fix myself up in the first place...because even after a shopping spree, a little Carmex and 8 strategically placed curls...

...I had no shoes...

Well, I GOT shoes, but not THOSE shoes.

You know...

*Amy Winehouse voice*

When you walk in the bar, and you're dressed like a star...rockin' your f-me pumps.

*Tamara voice*

Yeah, I could buy the kickassiest of ensembles and would still be in flats, usher shoes or something that really doesn't go well, but I made it work because I could.

THEN, as if I wasn't already mad as a wet hen, I decided to try exercising because I wanted to tighten up the hindparts and my feet got mad. Those sumbitches revolted.

Actually...THAT was funny. I had struck out Power Walking in my new Reebok ZigZags and I had just gotten my heart rate going when my left foot said I was done. My upper body was still going and so naturally, I fells. So, the sexy stride I left with died before I could get to the chorus of "Africa" by Zo! & Tigallo.

***solid remake by the way***

I know I have a solid workout option waiting, but I had to motivate myself. I didn't want to be like "WELP, it's raining" and go back in the house. I needed to get my own ass moving. But again, my foots said "no".

I just felt crappy because everything I do..I am reminded that I am legally handicapped due to my bastard foots. While that helps with parking at the Southern Heritage Classic, it's annoying. Even when I push my body to the limit, I am not at my limit because my feet would have given out already. One attempt at a mile walk resulted in bleeding.

THAT was grody!

In short, I hit rock bottom. I started to wallow in my misery. Kathy Bates, even.

I looked in the mirror and felt destined to forever be 79% because my feets wouldn't let me be whole. I would always be "damn near".

Damn near sexy...

Damn near burning maximum calories...

Damn near catching up...

...all because of my feets.

BUT, the sexy thing about hitting Rock Bottom is that you win the match if you do it right.

Yesterday, I took Pity's bitch ass and Rock Bottomed her.

I swore to myself and the other thing floating around me (as I am a Gemini) that I would not allow myself to feel muddy over the hand I was dealt. I have won Uno games with one Wild card and a bunch of numbers, so I didn't always need the Draw Fours. I am not going to ask God "why did you give me this" again. I am not about to waste another day pouting and crying about something beyond my control anymore.

Since my condition is beyond my control, I am going to work around it. I may not be able to walk two miles with you cats, but I'm going to ball (uh ruh, relatively ball) for a half mile until I can go further. I can't break out stilettos with the best of you, but don't be shocked if I pull a Janelle Monae and wear some Saddle Shoes. Why?

Because when life gives you lemons, make Lemoncello.

I'm going to get frustrated every now and then, but I'm going to walk it off. Well, waddle or whatever it is I do. I'm investing in more Technicolor Dreamsocks and I am going to laugh at myself again.

And who's to say, I might have fun in the meantime.

Oh...and don't be hating on the Saddle Shoes. I'm copping a pair and I'm bringing the retro back to Memphis...

The Life That Is Mine..

2011-04-12T11:31:00.007-05:00

I demand a recount.

Somebody thought it would be mad funny for me to be born this way. You know...THIS way, with this janky ass genetic condition that has affected my life.

I know someone is going to go off into a tangent about how people's lives are worse than mine and that I should be thankful that I can "hide" my condition. CJ & I can still live normal lives and no one ever know something's "afoot". But I can't hide mine like CJ could. Every aspect of my life is affected by it. A few podiatrists and orthopedic surgeons figured they'd be helping me by cutting and moving shit so I could have a better quality of life.

Life is so improved that I'm a fatass, legally handicapped chick who can't even dress up because she can't find shoes. Wait for the leap for joy.

When we took CJ to Campbell Clinic, I was overjoyed to hear that he was doing well and that the doctor was going to avoid surgery at all costs and my feet were the reason. Such surgeries to "make things better" would make things uncomfortable. I see that NOW...shit, I run through so many PedEggs trying to remove the calloused skin from my scarred feet because I don't want another doctor telling me another operation would help.

Years ago, I was told that I have to keep my weight controlled because I have less square footage to stand on than normal footed fokes. So, here goes the great ass comedy again. Wait for it...

I have to control my weight due to my disability.

To control my weight, I have to exercise.

My disability limits lots of walking and certain types of exercise.

Let's try this again backwards...

My disability limits lots of walking and certain types of exercise.

To control my weight, I have to exercise.

I have to control my weight due to my disability.

So, as my sweetass luck would have it, I am legally disabled with a threat of being REALLY SUPER disabled if I don't lose about 10% of my current weight. Funny how I can't burn calories without my Janky Bitch Feet burning or hurting to the point of numbness and swelling.

I am still waiting for the punchline.

So, those who really don't understand my condition have simple ass solutions to my problem. "Lower your calorie intake. The weight will melt off of you". Imagine how funny that is when my doctor of over a decade tells me I am actually not eating enough per day. WOW, it gets so much better everyday!!!

If I had $20 for everyone's quick answer, I would have a damn Tahoe...paid for. Everyone has a really good idea for me not to end up fat. Eat more, eat less, walk, sprint, P90X, Wii, and to all of them I blink thrice. Has anyone ever wondered "hmm, if it was that easy, Tamara wouldn't be a fatass!!!"

Nope. Because everyone knows the answer to my effed up situation.

CIGNA says I'm not sick enough for Lap Band surgery. Simply having a genetic disorder that renders me disabled and is further aggravated by being overweight isn't enough. I think I have to be damn near dead for help. I need a Blood Pressure or a Diabeetus. Damn. How dare I not be dying.

I was in martial arts. Kind of liked it too. And while I can still do a mean kata or two...I'm still fat.

Can't run.

Can't jump.

Can't find properly fitting shoes.

Can't have lap band.

Can't get meds.

At what point does this get funny so I can laugh?

I've gotten so annoyed that I don't even take pics of myself anymore. As if I need permanent reminders of being The Perpetual Fat Friend. I literally gave away or tossed a grand total of 7 garbage bags full of clothes. I don't feel like I need them. I could still fit about 65% of them and about 20% were too big. Yes, only 15% were too small. But I just didn't want them. I don't go anywhere but work, and I've been wearing jeans to church since...ever. I didn't want reminders of what I wasn't.

Can't find shoes to dress up in. So why keep dresses?

Can't do flip-flops or sandals in the summer...so why wear capris & skirts?

I have a kickass red dress in my closet right now. And I'm tearing the house up trying to find the receipt. Such a sexy dress should be worn by a big girl with the right shoes and style.

I has neither.

But I do have a Babar t-shirt on.

Irony...an elephant wearing an elephant.

I think this is that rock bottom people talk about on TV. If not, then I'll be asleep when it does appear. Today, I am going home, fixing dinner for my family, then going to sleep early. I doubt I'll have an appetite, as if I need one. Hopefully, I'll have a dream that will reveal my perfect method for coming out of this funk.

But with this streak o' luck I have...I'll just dream about going somewhere and being made fun of for being the awkward chick.

Meh...

Jode Patricia Wonsey, aka-Sunshine...A Year With God

2011-03-29T23:15:00.003-05:00

Anyone knows that a part of recovery involves dealing with your
feelings. You never forget things, but you have to confront your
emotions. So, as a part of healing, I am going to share my feelings
about a sweet soul who went to be with God on 3/30/10.

At the time
of this writing, one year ago, I was texting and Tweeting Jode. Nothing
of importance, just our usual banter. She made fun of my pregnancy
cravings and I told her to FedEx me some smothered pork chops.

Of
course, we still enjoyed running gags about Las Vegas and swore we
would be returning to Vegas some kind of way. Had I known that was the
last night I would ever talk to Jode, I think I would have ended it with
"love ya, Chica". It was a love between friends. In our case, fast
friends.

Jode
wasn't in my life very long, but our friendship was full of joy and
laughs. This, I would find out at her funeral, was why everyone fell in
love with her. She had an infectious laugh and a smile that was simply
mesmerizing. She was our "Hippie" and I still think she didn't have but
like, four pairs of socks because she was from California. I'm sticking
to my story!

I
still remember the phone call that brought me to my knees last year. I
don't think I broke down like that in my adult life. When I lost my
grandmother, I had time to brace myself...to prepare my heart and mind
for her transition. You couldn't possibly tell me that Sunshine was
gone. Why would our Jode be gone? How could this happen?

Nobody
wanted to be the one to tell me because I was pregnant with CJ. The
calls flooded in asking me if I was okay and all I kept wondering was
why? How in the world could a woman like Jode be taken away from people
who loved her and never hesitated to tell her?

As
many years as I have been going to church, I always heard that God had a
reason for everything he did. We may not understand, but there was a
reason. I struggled to find out why. One year later, I still wonder. But
then, I decided that I would not be honoring her memory and staying
positive by constantly questioning God's decisions.

Jode
was a positive person. This was our Hippie. A California girl who was
full of smiles and joy. A person like her should not be grieved over,
but remembered. Occasionally, I sit and think about our many
conversations and running gags. I drop a line on her Facebook page
every blue moon because she is still alive and well in our hearts and
minds. It is human nature to constantly ask "why God"? But everyone is
in your life for a reason.

Maybe
Jode was in my life to encourage me. She had a vision board with goals
on it that she wanted to accomplish. In her passing, I find myself
tying up loose ends and checking off my own goals. Not because she made
me stare at my own mortality, but because she was a hustler. The JoJo I
knew had some heavy ambition...and like, one pair of socks! LOL Jode
may have also been placed in my life to help me take more bricks out of
my emotional wall. I had my circle before I met her in person...and
seldom do I let new people in. But something about that girl warmed my
heart and made me feel like we'd been friends for years.

A
little over a year ago, we buried her as she left us physically. That
fateful day in Nashville, I wiped away my tears of sorrow to see
something just as beautiful as Jode herself. I saw a church full of
people who loved her. I saw friends and family of all ages,
ethnicities, backgrounds and walks of life remembering a wonderful
soul. I couldn't help but to pay attention to this display of love.
Yeah, I have laid many friends and relatives to rest, and even my
grandmother had a packed church when she was funeralized. But Jode, in
her 29 years on Earth, touched so many souls. You couldn't help but
smile even in sadness.

So
one year later, I still miss Jode. I don't think I'll stop missing
her. I can't promise I won't cry when I have flashbacks of our good
times, but I can promise that I will respect her memory. I am sure
people still wonder why she had to go and I am sure some people wish
they could have done something different. But one lesson I have learned
is that you cannot change the plan God has in store. We cannot redo
March 2010, though we all wish we could. What we can do is remember
Sunshine with pride.

Whether
you knew her for months or decades, Jode Patricia Wonsey was a
beautiful soul. She was golden. I believe that the natural caretaker
she is won't let her not look down on each of us. So, I remember that
daily as a reason to smile though she is gone. It's natural to want a
wonderful person like her here, to answer the phone and to hug you. But
Jode is with God. I think that is what we have to remember and hold on
to. One year later, the loss still stings. But the love is stronger
than any pain.

Jode,
our Sunshine...we will forever love you and remember you. One year
later, we still miss your physical presence, but your spirit shall never
be forgotten! Neither will your smile and ever-changing hair! Keep
looking down on your loved ones and taking care of us. Jode's family,
stay uplifted and know that she touched us all in a special way. I know
that my words won't bring her back, but believe me when I say that when
a person is loved like she is, it keeps her legacy alive and strong.
Such an awesome person will never leave our minds and our hearts.

Tam's Two Cents, aka-High Tax Time Gankery

2011-02-28T22:16:00.001-06:00

*in Baptist preacher voice* I won't be before ya long...

It's been a while since I shared my thoughts with you all, but I had something to get off my chest portion.

Last night, I saw a news report about Super Fast Taxes and how they ganked a lady out of $1800. Go here if you didn't see it (http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/dpp/news/local/022711-tax-filers-cheated-out-of-refunds). As I watched it, I got angry. I got mad because people are being robbed by all of these refund places that pop up out of the woodwork. But what I got angriest about is how ignorance spreads in our community and it seems as if we aren't doing a damn thing about it.

The young lady stated that she went to that place because it was in walking distance, which was understandable. But if you look at the place, it looks about as janky as the Tape Man that popped up in beauty shops years ago. Of course, the IRS doesn't regulate those places because anyone can be a tax preparer. Hell, I could prepare them bad boys if I had a preparer ID.

What we are all aware of is that people go to these places in search of a quicker refund than the 8 - 14 day wait for eFiling. I know if you've been broke as what we call hell for a few months, the desire for a nice windfall is attractive. But the fact of the matter is that we aren't telling people the truth...which is you are essentially paying way more than if you wait. Trust me, I was a former H&R Block customer myself. Once I found out the truth, I couldn't go back.

I looked at my old H&R Block paperwork and saw just how much they were cutting my dome for with regard to the fees for filing my taxes. Essentially, they got paid because I was afraid to handle my taxes on my own and too damn impatient to wait on my coins. Those familiar with H&R know that they charge damn near by the form and some other random fees. Since I was writing off childcare, Lex (at the time), tuition and more, they were racking up on me. Then, being poor as hell, I wanted my loot within 48 hours. I kind of wish I could go back and snatch my loot.

Now, H&R and Jackson Hewitt are more reputable establishments, but they make a killing off of our fear. When I was dealing with H&R, they often sold me on Audit Protection and that was a comfort. Then, I often looked at the forms I had to use and got as confused as hell. When you are afraid of being audited and confused, it's really easy to lean on these joints. I mean, if they made a mistake, they would help you out.

One year, I decided to try TurboTax. They asked questions. I answered them. I got my refund and I only paid $40 for the software usage. Shelling out $40 compared nearly $400 is a damn sight better. I only waited 2 weeks and all was well in the hood. I started sharing this with fokes I knew went to those places. I also referred a few cats to the IRS website for help in preparing taxes...anything to avoid those damn joins like Super Fast Taxes.

While many people probably saw that news report and rolled their eyes, I felt bad for her. Nobody told her to get a ride or go online. Some fool is having a nice time with her money and there isn't much she can do. I ask people to spread the truth. If you know someone who is considering one of those places, help them go online and eFile. Just don't let them be ganked. It's too hard out here to have someone take your money. Fokes get shot for less.

Alright, done preaching.

In short...stop watching people get ganked and having a "they should've known better" mentality. Some people really don't know better. Be thankful that YOU know better and help someone up along the way.

GO TURBOTAX!

We Don't Need Another Savior, aka-Get Off Your "Grass"

2011-01-24T13:47:00.001-06:00

HEY!

Today's episode of Tam's Rant is brought to you by the Letter Q and the Number 8. Tam's Rant is also sponsored by Grace Brothers Menswear. Don't worry if the trousers are too tight, they'll ride up with wear.

Now, to the Rant at hand.

I guess the title is kind of questionable. However, it's exactly what it is. We just don't need another Savior. I mean, those of us who believe in God have the good King Jesus, the Late, Great JC, so we should be just fine. But it appears that many people are grasping for more salvation from wherever it can be found.

Lately, I have read so many things that make me feel as if people want someone or something to improve their lives. Women want a man (or woman) to come and make all of their pain go away. People want some kind of legislation to make them gainfully employed again and parents want a magical vote to keep a school system divided or to unify a city. Everyone needs a hero or something and it befuddles me roundly.

What happened to the independence that people used to have? Why is there a new found reliance on everything? Since when did we relinquish control of our lives to an unknown force of the non-spiritual persuasion? Why did a man with three marriages under his belt have to tell you how to handle your relationship? Why does an elected official need to save your children's education? Who in the HELL left the gate open?

*closes gate*

Right now, many of our lives are spiraling out of control and we want things to get better some kind of way. But I ask, why can't the initiative begin within? I remember being in school at JSU, upset that I had to ask for more money during the semester. After it was over, I found out that I could have gotten a little financial aid that would have put more than enough loot in my pocket. I remember raising $298.91 in hell because nobody TOLD me I qualified for assistance.

Once I burned those 719 calories, I realized that it was no one's fault but my own. I should have done my own damn research. It wasn't the financial aid counselor's fault that I didn't know. Do they really have time to tell me "hey Tam! You got some money over here if you need it". In an ideal world, they would have. But it was my job to ensure my own damn well being. It still is.

This mentality of "nobody's helping me" is old, outdated and outright sad. Why do we need rescuing all the time? Not we as Blacks, but we as people?

*Why is it the teacher's fault that our kids can't read in Middle School? As a parent, do you NOT see the report card? You DO have to sign that bastard! Why do you need that teacher to find out why your son can't comprehend? Shouldn't you be doing research WITH the teacher to find a solution?

*Suze Orman is making a killing telling you what you already know but won't do. I could tell you that it's stupid to go buy a brand new car for $800/month if you are already struggling to make ends meet. You know what you bring home per month and what goes back out each month. Therefore, why do you need a Guru to tell you not to buy anything until you can amass a savings. Nobody pays me to tell them stuff....*sadness*

*I don't remember hearing our President say "I will save you from every issue you are suffering from. I guarantee a chicken in every pot, a Tahoe in every driveway and a couple grand in every bank account". Therefore, why do we expect miracles? Regardless of who would have made it into office, I guaran-damn-tee someone would have been pissed.

I guess I'm just wondering why society has stopped fighting and trying. I'm not saying that nobody needs a helping hand ever in life. We all need a leg up every now and then. However, when you live in a perpetual state of "help me, help me please", you have lost your independence. Take initiative and reclaim your power. We don't need another hero to make it through the day. If you want to go to college, research programs that work with your life. If you need a job, get up and go find one. If you're tired of being broke, make a budget.

Nobody can guarantee everything will be perfect, but it most certainly beats waiting to be rescued by some man or woman. Outside of God, you don't need another Savior. Just make an effort in life. Stop blaming everyone for your issues and make changes for the better. Save yourself..

The Frayser 90, or as I say, the Frayser 180...(or 178)

2011-01-20T17:14:00.001-06:00

'Ello!

I don't think I'll have to provide much backup in explaining what the title of my blog is referring to. To those who aren't sure, Frayser High School has made news for having 90 pregnant students.

Ninety. Like ten less than a hunnerd.

Apparently, this story has made its way around the country and has caused quite a stir amongst everyone in the area. The heat and attention led to Kriner Cash making some kind of lie about there being a program. There is debate about the existence of said program for pregnant fokes, but either way, there is indeed a problem. Well, several. Allow me to share.

*First and foremost, there aren't 90 pregnant students, it should be 180 pregnant students. That is the biggest problem for me. It goes back to society's tendency to place the blame and worry in the laps of the mothers. She didn't turkey baste herself, did she? Since I first heard about this issue, so much emphasis has been placed on the young ladies. Nobody seems to ask about the boys who impregnated the girls. Do they not matter? Have we not avoided the double standard? I guess we haven't. Babies are the responsibilities of both parents, regardless of the age. Whether 13 or 30, if you planted the seed, you care for that seed.

*The parents are responsible for their children, but don't be foolish. It is my job as a mother to raise my daughter. I can teach her about sex, boys, and self esteem. Her father can warn her about boys and threaten to shoot any one that hurts her. Her uncles and brothers can line up in a gauntlet on a porch on her prom night and instill the fine art of attempted murder in her date's mind. I can give her a 9pm curfew, watch every place she goes, chaperon her, put her in extracurricular activities, and drag her to every church service. But whatever is inside will come out. I know of many deeply religious parents who became grandparents while their babies were teens. Even situations have emerged where the parents tried allowing the boyfriend to visit while they are home. That doesn't always work either. Kids have a wonderful way of rebelling, and don't be blind to that truth. Why do you think there are so many "I can't believe she would do that" types on TV?

*Schools can't get away with teaching Sex Ed once a year and call it enlightenment. Sex is not a once a year issue. On a daily basis, kids are being bombarded by sex. They need to be educated. Some people believe that simply saying "don't have sex until you're married" will suffice. When your daughter is "in love" and her "boo thang" is talking those sweet nothings that are melting her eardrum, do you think she's going to remember "don't have sex"? Some girls do. But for those who think it's real love, she'll place her trust in that young man because he most likely told her that she was special. Schools can't get away with a few hours of STD pictures and banana nut condoms. They need to educate these kids on the mental, emotional, financial, and physical aspects of sex. They don't know that sex doesn't really GIVE you any power. It takes it away. Even if a chick thinks that she's "putting it on him", she'll be shocked to see her hard work on cell phone cameras all over the school. If these kids had to treat every sex partner like a future baby's mama/daddy, they'd likely walk away quickly.

*Parents can't teach what they don't know. Many parents aren't exactly capable of teaching their children about sex. Not every parent is cut out for it. There are always arguments that "it isn't the schools' job to teach your kids about sex". Well, for several hours a day, they are in charge of educating these kids. Instead of constantly getting up in arms and blaming parents, what about those who don't know what to do or say? As a parent, I admit that I have asked for help with my children because sometimes I don't know what to do. Some parents can't swallow their pride enough to ask for help. Then, there are the renegades who don't even care. But what do you think a 16 year old can learn from her 31 year old mother? She may see her mom as a cautionary tale, but what if she really doesn't? What about her 47 year old Granny? Apparently, somebody missed the memo.

*Again I ask, what about the boys? While these girls are nationwide stories, these boys are likely busy ignoring the "Late Texts". Why isn't there focus on programs for young dads? These boys get to run off and do whatever while the baby and mom are in line at WIC??? Oh hells no! Even when I watch "16 & Pregnant", I was bothered when one young man's family encouraged him to get a paternity test because he had such a promising football scholarship. What made them think that young girl didn't have potential for greatness??? Why do the girls have to let themselves go straight to hell while the boys get to deny? Society should be ashamed of allowing such BS. We wonder why our kids are so lost? Because we coddle these boys, then they grow up into sorry ass men. Those sorry ass men beget more sorry ass men. Mama can do a hell of a lot, but she's never been a man...

AHHHHHH I HATE THESE SORRY ASS MEN!

Sorry, I'm back.

*Remember that it takes a village to raise a child. What can parents do when they have to work in order to provide a roof over their kids' heads? Not every parent of a pregnant child is a trifling piece of crap. As a concerned neighbor, why not alert the parent when you see someone sneaking in to the house while they're at work? Ah, because we've discouraged it. Many Black parents want to handle things without help and tell people to "let me handle my child". But, how can you solve a problem if you don't know what it is? Work with the teachers...not against them. Yeah, she leaves your car in the morning in a uniform, but how does she look at school? One day of hanging outside CHS a few months back let me FURTHER know the proverbial shit has hit the fan. I saw girls we damn near see through white shirts with leopard bras showing. I saw skin tight khakis and thongs showing. Nobody sees this? I was there 20 minutes and saw nothing but hyper-sexed girls and horny ass boys. Which brings me to the last of my rant...

*..teach these girls how to value themselves. Tell them that the power is in what they DO NOT do. A boy will beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat and fight...to get a girl. She needs to know that she's the prize that he wants. HE wants HER! Implant in her mind that he most likely wouldn't even wash his ass if he didn't want to attract a girl! Tell her that she should understand that he wants to be able to brag about having her, and she shouldn't allow him that power. If daddy ain't there, let her know what doesn't mean she has to go look for a replacement. Love her, care for her, show her concern, uplift her, and be strong for her. Let her know that self esteem comes from within and it shouldn't wane because of a man. She's going to be curious, and that's natural. But let her know that wait is damn well worth it...annnd sometimes it ain't! LMAO! But tell her that the best sex comes when there are no worries about raising babies, catching STD's, being busted and most of all, when you're really in love. Or emphasize that it's pretty awesome when you are grown as hell. No one wants to make her a Saint, but it's about making wise decisions.

Now, if we can start some of these steps, maybe we can save a few girls here or there. It's sad that it's come to this, but nobody can act like they didn't see it coming. Our kids are growing up too fast and we can't get mad after the fact. We should have been caring about them before World Star Hip Hop made this public.

Am I Black Enough For You?

2011-01-17T00:39:00.003-06:00

This is probably going to be a highly controversial note, but it just needs to come out. I strongly encourage opinions and thoughts to be shared because that's how I roll. If you can't be respectful, then you know how I rolls on that too.

As you can see by my title, I have posed a question. I am not asking about myself, but in general..

Somewhere in time, there came this mentality that being Black was not just about race. Apparently, it is an experience, a burden, a joy, a pain, a wish, a steppingstone, an honor, a curse, an attitude..

..a dream..

..a nightmare..

..a mentality..

..a whole lot more than the box you check when you apply for a job.

This is why I am a bit curious. When did being Black become so much more than your race? Why is it now an all encompassing being? Is it really like that symbiote that took over Eddie that changed his very attitude?

All of this pondering stemmed from Sheila Johnson's little janky comments about Oprah's network not being Black enough. It opened up the larger can of worms that I've had for so long. Why is it one Black person's responsibility to entertain, enlighten and educate all of the other Blacks? Sheila created the monster that was BET, and now she wants Oprah's network to be more "Black".

How does a channel be more "Black"?

The comments under the article were scathing at best. People said "Oprah has been disconnected from the Black community for years" and "Oprah thinks she's too good for Black people so she caters to the rich Whites". These were other Black people who were attacking the unspoken motives of a member of our own race. But as someone who has watched Oprah and the shows that have spun off from her, I have learned so much. I have learned how to manage my finances, handle relationships and be positive when life seems to chuck one negative after the other.

Yet, Oprah is disconnected from Blacks. I, a Black woman, learned how to be a better person from her shows and articles. Yet, she is "better" than me because she doesn't have Quishika on her show trying to find her baby's pappy? Why is her message of self improvement not "Black" enough? Is there an unseen quota to be filled where you must have 25 Black guests or shows annually or else you aren't "Black" anymore? Sheila Johnson was better for selling her channel to Viacom and paving the way for the best Coonery in the country? According to the comments I read, yes. Why? Because Sheila helped pave the way for the channel that resurrected "The Game".

Sheila said that Oprah should "open up her circle a little more" and tap into the minority equivalents to Suze, Phil, Rachel and others. It's that same "stay Black or die" mentality that made people think Charlotte Bergman could win. If Sheila's ideals hold true, Black people are supposed to associate and deal with Black people as much as possible in order to stay true and uplift our Black race. Is Oprah supposed to renounce all White people because she doesn't want to offend us?

Hell no.

Sheila and the child she put up for adoption (BET) are examples of the insanity amongst our Black people. We are supposed to accept entertainment from Blacks regardless of the quality, and we should support it by any means. That's really funny to me. Mainly because Tyler Perry decided to make Black plays and films, just to be labeled gay and have his work attacked as being formulaic AND bootlegged by...Black people. It's also funny because Spike Lee's movies were too "deep" and "misogynistic" and Black people wanted to LAUGH instead of think all the time. Oh, and Lee Daniels had award winning success with "Precious" just for Black people to complain about the abuse in the film. Right there, I named three examples of Black filmmakers who were condemned by our own Black people. But hey, Sheila said we have to keep our circle open.

It appears to me, as if there is no pleasing some Black people. As sad as it seems, a lot of our people just rather be angry about things..even the ones that cannot be controlled. I have also caught wind of Black people being angry about the dramatic decline in "good Black men". However, if you ask some of these Black women what made a Black man "good", you would get a list that's three items away from Jesus. But these men are supposed to be that. In turn, Black women complain that other races of women are taking away the Black men. Who revived the law that said only Blacks can date or marry each other? It's probably the same bastard who wrote the law that said you have to "be" a certain way or you aren't "Black" enough.

Yeap. And it wasn't George Jefferson.

Another of many complaints is that Black people have to behave a certain way or they aren't trying to be Black. I have been teased about my "Corporate Voice". Referred to many as "The White Voice", it's the reason why I still have a job. It's the reason why MANY of you are gainfully employed. You know, it's the way you talk where you use proper English, no slang and govern yourself with maturity and sense. But some of our good people think it's selling out. It's also apparently "not Black" to get an education beyond high school, have friends of other races, move to a better quality of neighborhood and learn how to address people with respect. God forbid if you think you're BETTER than other Black people. What's wrong with attending an HBCU? Why did she have to go to Harvard? Why couldn't she stay in the hood? I guess she got enough money to move to the suburbs with her White neighbors. I'm not making any of this up...these are things I have heard straight from the mouths of Black people.

I have been teased over time for not being/acting Black enough. Attending White Station after transferring from Central wasn't a very "Black thing" to do. I don't really listen to a lot of rap, and at times, I am likely to play a random Zeppelin song. Oh my God, and relaxing my hair???? How much Blackness am I rinsing away when I do THAT?!?

It's CRAZY how it seems that you just can't seem to be Black enough in the eyes of many. As I teased the other day, some of our Black people should have more desire to fight for causes. Imagine how much better life would be for many if people would focus all the anger from the following into solving actual problems:

*Thinking people wanted to be White.

*Assuming that a light skinned person thought he/she was better than us Darkies.

*Rolling eyes when a Black person's circle is mostly non-Black.

*Calling people "Uncle Toms" for deciding to make positive changes in life.

*Watching BET.

*Coming up with new rules to gauge a person's Black Quotient.

I know a lot of those Super Black people will likely look at this blog and chuck me into a category of thinking I'm better than my other Black counterparts. We're supposed to be breaking stereotypes, but our actions and decisions are pushing things farther than ever. Yes, some of our good Black people do think highly of themselves. That's being elitist and not an attack on their race. All we have to do is stay Black (or whatever your race may be) and die. Stop trying to make mountains out of molehills. All that unity that was fought for before some of our parents were born is going to hell because Black people are doing a busload of infighting and side eying.

Just be yourself, be happy and go to sleep.

~Management