East Coast Al

freinds?

2010-01-07T14:42:00.000-08:00

its amazing how many friends run the moment you become homeless. lol and how many others you had no idea where, step up and take their place. :)

aja

2010-01-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

She still has my thoughts. Its not a totally bad thing, and not as heavy as it once was, but shes there.

Today has been a sad one, I miss my Dad, And as much as I'm surviving, I miss the life I once had. At least Zoe's here with me, makes life allot better. Its a lazy day filled with internet and emails, an absence from the bar is a needed one, yet people come and go past my little shed window, briefly glancing in as they travel towards their beer. My mind trys to recall names of my past inorder to look them up, with faling results.
Things aren't as they once were, older, greyness, and a bit less attractive.

so it goes.
East

alone together

2009-12-30T14:57:00.000-08:00

Its been about 2 years since I walked away from my family. I'd love to say the holidays weren't the same, or how being homeless right now could be easier with them as a part of my life, but it would be a lie.

Even though my life is sucking right now, I'm so less stressed than I was trying to live up to family expectations. I do however miss my sister in law penny and her daughter vic. They always seemed to love me unconditionally.

such is life right? adapt and conquer.

peace

2009-12-29T07:20:00.000-08:00

The year is finally almost fucking over. THAAANK GOD!!!!! What a shitty year I've had, between losing a girlfriend to my best freind, not making any money, moving in with a good freind and watching him "needle up" and then getting tossed out to be homeless, I dont think I could have taken much more.

I'm hopeful that the upcoming year has a bit more to offer for me and regaining my life back.
I pray the people I call friends in my life also have a good year.
Thank you to all who have supported me the last few weeks. luv ya, mean it.

East

caught me with my pants down

2009-12-22T21:44:00.000-08:00

A freind called me tonight, We talked about how I'm ill, and the holidays are coming up and all that. Then the subject moved onto her kids, and both asked about me, but the boy asked where I was living and all, and she of course filled him in on my situation. She told me how upset he got over hearing it, and honestly, As much of a rock as I've tried to be thru all this ,it touched me and finally made me break down a little bit.

I thought that the kids, well, didnt really care much for me, but I was proved wrong, and it felt good to be wrong.

So yea, Holidays are soon here, I'm ill as hell, but my best present this year is folks who love me, and folks I'm able these days, to love back.

peace.
East

broke amd cold

2009-12-12T18:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Life,
I cant take much more of what you've been dishing out to me. I am unemployed, homeless, had to give my dog away, my best friend. I am at my breaking point. You have made me depressed and wondering if its worth it anymore.
All I ask for is a break,.. a job so I can get my life I once knew back. It bad enough I live in a shed, but what are you going to spew upon me next???
Please give me my life back so I can put this shitty part of my life behind me.

East

freinds in leather

2009-12-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all my freinds at The little Bar( Iron Horse) on 64 http://ourlittlebar.com/
Who have been taking care of me in my time of ecomony depressed need.

I promise a awesome pot of chili here in the near future, and if I can lend a hand back, I've got two.

Peace out and ride free

heard at the little bar one night " I never knew how much I used my face untill I broke it "

still breathing

2009-11-25T07:47:00.000-08:00

I'm still living in a shed at the bar, not the ritz, but it works for now. have bronchitis and good freinds who seem to make sure I'm bathed, fed and doing ok.
Life will change, but no time soon. it aint that bad with freinds by your side. my old roommates have not checked on me once. o well.

SHIT

2009-11-15T19:02:00.000-08:00

I am offically homeless. I just got my walking papers, so. I wont be around for a while. Wish me luck, and if you really need to find me, People at the iron horse saloon on 64, know how to contact me.

trapped.

2009-11-10T21:05:00.000-08:00

My life is slowly tumbling down the toilet, and the sad part is, its not even my fault. I'm trying with all my might to grab the life I once had back, but the economy and circumstances just dont seem to want to allow that to happen just yet.

I spend many a night, staring at the darkness of my room, wondering what the hell I did so bad in my life to bring this on. I totally beleive in Karma, and I'm getting a good swallow of it these days.
I've given up the whiskey until I get back the life I think will work for me , I am on a now and then beer diet, unless your buyin that is.

I had a job come up, but one of the invited guests was someone whom, A; is told to me to be a snitch, cant stand snitches, B; a drug user of the nasty dirty type, C; annoying beyond all comprehension. I told the "boss" If dude's goin, I aint, his call, I suspect he will bring dude over me, which just cements the fact even more so that I am doing the right thing worrining about my own best interests.

So there it is,....... I need a job, a hug, and a tissue to wie the salt from my eye.

Be Well and pray for Ol' East.

hi ya'll

2009-11-06T12:36:00.001-08:00

Anyone got work for a hungry Biker?

My Resume

2009-11-03T07:17:00.000-08:00

Alan Smith
P.O.Box 41, New Hill, N.C. 27562
raleigh_photographer@yahoo.com (919)362-5218

____________________________________________________________

Seeking a position in the managerial field within a business or office environment bringing
the following experience, skills and attributes:
Extensive experience with general public, interfacing well with others, excellent problem solving skills, as well as troubleshooting issues for a positive outcome.

Win/DOS, MS Word, PSP7, Basic Data entry, Exemplary Internet Skills, Basic HTML
________________________________________________________________

Education:
HS Diploma
Currently seeking a part time collage career to further my education.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Work Experience

Assistant to the Owner , Spence Construction Group New Hill, N.C.
2007-Present

Provide "in Field" assistance with all facets of Home Improvement & Trex Decking, Azek Rail System
Prepare Job sites for start date
Execute all orders in a timely fashion
Supervise labor for precise and cost effectiveness.
incredible attention to detail and ability to implement repeatable, measureable, and accurate processes and procedures.
Able to strike the proper balance between holding people accountable and motivating them to produce superior results.

Owner; Rembrandt Paint & Home Improvement, Cary N.C.
1998-2007

Carried out and executed all daily duties in given construction

Supervised crew of five or more
Responsible for the duty of completing tasks not in schedule.
Carried out with skilled precision , the construction and repair of commercial/residential property.

Professional Skills:

Strong experience as painter in construction field.
Fluent in English communication.
Extensive skill in applying coatings on surfaces.
Extensive problem solving and crisis cutter.
Exceptional ability to paint old and new tools, machines in given budget.
Outstanding ability to create cost estimates.
Able to finish given work within time.

F Me.

2009-10-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

I slowly watch as my life hurls downward, and its not even a result of my own doing,... its the result of my rope getting tangled up in someone elses, and dragging me down with them.
Trapped. Thats the only word I can think of to describe how I feel today, and no where to run for shelter.

I feel as tho I'm aging by the day, and my looks are fast fading due to stress. Life isnt fair, and it never will be, but I guess it all comes down to how bad you want to survive, and how far your willing to go to get the life you feel you deserve.

I'm not giving up just yet, I just feel alone, and very very tired.
I drempt this morning, I passed on in my sleep, yet no one noticed untill a few days had passed and I hadnt changed position in my bed. Sad thing was,... lol ... I woke up to find it was only a dream.

Clutch cable broke on the bike yesterday, thats another 60 bucks I dont have. aint life grand.

you find out who your real friends are when your up against a wall.

damaged goods. lol

2009-10-25T08:06:00.001-07:00

so heres what ya look like after you hit a deer on a Harley @ 50 mph.

dumbass.

2009-10-19T19:48:00.000-07:00

douchebag has risen to a new level tonight. It's one thing having to stand by while he continues to shoot "stupid" into his veins, but now his whole demenor has changed into total asswipe.

It's sad really,... having to watch someone you care about destroy years worth of progress, but also take down those around you with them, without a clue, it just suck's. my life is VERY far from where I want it to be, but this is'nt the first time I've been down, and probably not the last. I've applied for a pell grant to go back to school, I'm looking for a better, more stable, stress free job, and hopefully, with time, I shall find someopne to give my heart to.

in the meantime, maybe dumbass will shoot a bubble in his arm and do us all the favor of slowly watching him die I hate to say it because really, I love him like a brother, but I cant stand his shit anymore.

un f* cking beleiveable.

2009-10-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

what a week,
first off, I was told I have 30 days to find a new place to live. oh great, thats just awesome. kick me out in winter. whatever, I mean, I needed to leave anyway, but I had a plan of action, and it didnt include right now.

Then I woke up yesterday, to find out "Hottub Johnny" died that morning. for real???? 25 years old, just had a baby, and hit a tree on the way to work. what a waste. he was nuts, annoying, and fun as hell. I loved and hated him all at the same time. He had my back on the job in Topsail,, so I give him his just dues for that. I'm gonna miss his ass.

Raise one up for Johnny.

snap

2009-10-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

there is so much going on in my life, so much around me, Feeling the burden of trying to save those around me and keep everyone happy, it sucks. I wake from a dead sleep almost every night at 3 am, my head flooded with worry's, regrets, pain. I fantasize often about walking in the woods with a long rope, and just doing it all ready, making the worry and pain go away, but then I worry that I'll never be able to see if anyone shows up at my service.
This, this is a thought, a battle I've struggled with for years. it never goes away, it only lies dormant for a bit, then re-appears.
Life isnt fair, although no one said it would be, I'm just ready for it to be over all ready, ready to stop having to wipe the salt from my cheek and stop hiding behind the suit of leather armour that works so well keeping people distant from me.

so whats next?, what happens next and will I ever regain the good life back I once enjoyed?

are you for real dude?????

2009-09-30T19:16:00.000-07:00

Please God, if you have any fucking pity on my sorry, tired,old biker ass,.. PLEASE get me the fuck out of my current situation before I stab someone to death.
A-fucking-men

Son's of Anarchy

2009-09-22T21:29:00.001-07:00

yet another stellar show tonight, riveting, suspense and action If you aint watchin, yer missin out.

In other news, Ever put yourself in a situation that seemed like a fix, and find out you've just trapped yourself into months of discontent and angst? yea, I have and now I have no idea how to make it right. I understand people are wired differently, but I never knew how crossed some peoples wire's could be. Its like a hundred pound knot in my stomach that just wont untie. uggg.

I have almost been considering joining a local club in Durham, just so I would have an out in my life, but after long prayer, decided that cant be much better. Somethings got to give soon, it's just got to.

East

Ft. Macon photos finally in!!

2009-08-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Above: after photo of deck we built

Just a few photos of the completed job, some friends I made, and stuff I came across while in Atlantic Beach. Hopefully, I'll be moving there sooner thn later.
East

You didnt see me

2009-08-14T20:14:00.001-07:00

change

2009-08-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

I'm drinking Myer's dark rum with coke. A drink I used to love. It's been a good 14 yrs since I had one and, I gotta be honest,... it's not as good as I remember it being.

I guess that holds true for allot of things in our lives, Things change. People change, things arent once as good as they once were. Recently I was told I'm old, mean, weird and the reason I'm alone and will be alone is because of these and other things. Honestly, its kinda true. I am old and not the same as I was years ago. My life isn't where I want it to be, and as hard as I keep trying to make it better, it's not gonna happen overnight.

Words can hurt, and I do admit I have an evil gift of knowing the exact thing to say to make you feel like a shithead if I really dig deep inside my black heart to find them. But it holds true to those who toss words at us, they can hurt, and human nature dictates automatically retaliating back. its just how life is.

I've been having a verbal war with someone I once held dear in my heart, and as much of an asshole as this person feels I am.... my insides just cant do it anymore. shit changes, and grudges aren't worth holding on to. eats up too much energy.

So yea, maybe I am unattractive, and maybe I don't get laid as much as I did in my late 30's, but as I said, shit changes and sometimes its for the better, sometimes its for the worse,... thats just life, and isn't life about preparing us for obstacles that lay ahead of us?

I guess. Who knows. I'm done though, and with any luck, I'll grow kinder with age. naaaaaaaaa, LMAO.

http://www.hellsangelsmcoakland.com/radioall.html

Support 81

CYA

2009-07-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

Back to my new Favorite place in N.C.,............................................... Atlantic Beach Baby!! woooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

all my bitches,... miss me! LOL

babes, sun and lost nights.

2009-07-24T18:40:00.001-07:00

Another trip to Fort Macon. Met 5 really good looking chicks, and had a fucking blast. "Its always good to be home tho. My lil Zoe missed the hell out of me, as she sits by my feet as I scribe these thoughts. But in all honesty, I'm ready to go back down, and considering moving there. Gotta see if I can survive thru the winter months, If I can, its on.

Came home to a fucked up email I need to address soon as well. lol, Also received yet another check off my book, WOW..... life is interesting indeed. interesting indeed.

Ft Macon, part I

2009-07-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

short trip, 3 days this time.. heavy deck demo, and hot as haties. but we had some fun, made some money, and off to go back for another week come monday.

heres the before photo of the deck we ripped down.also ran into a photoshoot, it was cool, lost my beloved ring to Davey Jones locker tho, slipped off my finger and off it went. :((

As I went riding downtown to try to find the store I got it in, ( which is no longer) I pulled up to a light wearing my skull facemask, keeps the bugs and wind and dirt out of your holes, lol) A chick pulled up next to me, stared for a minute and said to me "Thats kinda scary, but kinda Hot too~!". hehehehe Its suppose to be scary baby, I told her. and rode off to the next light. I said, Its real fun wearing it into a gas satation, kinda makes people nervouse, lol.
funny. made my morning tho. Always nice getting a compliment from a cute chick.

The older I grow, the more I find myself being depressed about who I was, where I've dropped the ball, and all of my shortcomings in not only my love life, but life itself. So many wasted chances, So many blind nights and lost days ,.. all to bring me to this point in my life, of having virtually nothing to show for it. But I guess some of our paths are destined to be one thing, and other's another. Thats what makes us,..................................................................... us.

So it goes

East