I am You

And You R Me

And We R Not Together

I walked away with your smile

Leaving you to wondered all the while

Could two like hearts truly be called sane?

When they’ve consciously accepted a fate free of pain?

My mind stares back at you through the old mirror’s faded glass

As my eyes tries to break free of a strange and distorted past

Why do only memories flood over the walls you built around me

When I was the one who keep these waters from diluting your sanity?

I stand on past the footprints made by your heels

Hoping that these tracks lead you over these sharp hills

But why is it only the innocent one that gets pushed off to the wasteside

While the seasoned lover is rediscovery another chance to reach the sky

And yet, I once believed that you’d be one to spread out these wings and fly

But perhaps it was my hands that have pulled you back from the sky

And now that everything said, really meant absolutely nothing at all

The journey down from heaven, actually feels like a much more painfully fall

And so as that back of yours turns away from the ledge

Fear no longer seems to danced inside my head

Or run along the outlines of the insides your skin

Instead its just refused to fill two hollow holes within

So if time really does heal all wounds

And I beg it does it magical really really soon

I hope you pray that the pain that surrounds the folds of my empty hands

Will mange to keep you and your heart out of my careless and selfish plans

And maybe one day you will walk with a smile that reaches my eyes

And a gentle stride to guild me past your hidden and hurting lies

For when you’ve made peace with the passing of those days

I will too be able to find my own way out this crazy hazy maze

Soft

was the way his silky full lips, guiding across my mouth , still smell

 as the blood beneath my skin moved rhythmically to the erratic beating of his heart.

Sweet

Was the way his gentle hands surrounding me, still feel

 as he slid them down the length of my back and around the small of my waist.

Silent

Was how amicably innocent the whispers of his disabling obsession of unwavering admiration still taste

as they echoed off the black curtain of every night.

Beautiful

Was how amazingly angelic his body still sound

as he held ever so lightly to a soul, forever wrapped tightly within his arms.

Fresh

 Was just how deliciously mouth watering the scent of his clone still appears

as it lingering just above my eyes.

 Even after all these cold and lonely years

Somehow this void and senseless heart of mine

 Will forever long to be haunted by the very essences of

every touch, taste, sound, sight and smell that is his faded soul.     

by easyrivers

Look !!! I’m gonna let me cry!!!

 Cause when I’m

done, I know I’m gonna be alright!!!

OMO, I swear!! Every single time I watch this MV, I just wanna craw inside my computer and huge Lee Junki!!!

 But that’s not the only reason why I’m so obsessed with this song.

After actually taking the time to peel my eyes off of that Soooo Sexy Oppa.. I realized that lyrics are actually really totally awesome… not that there is a song sang by Lee Soo Young that isn’t.

Now, perhaps, there maybe that hopeless-romantically scorned 19^thyear-old child, inside my head, that is actually rocking its heart out to this ballad, in-place of the calm and emotionless 21-year-old I am.  But in defense of her, I’ve have to say that the way Lee Soo Young makes the actually tone of the song differ from the words, gives off a very “I’m gonna smile and dance, even when there’s tears falling down my face, and I don’t care whose watching!!” kinda undertone.  

So I guess it kinda makes since that she named it Grace. It’s kinda like she allowing herself to be raw and bear all her emotions out in the open, because she knows that’s the only way she’ll gain the strength to pull her self back together in the end. 

What an empowering and inspiring message, admits the melancholy of a unrequited first lover’s fate.

One day I found myself standing in dawns early morning light

With this strange eerie pace that everything was going to be alright

As, miles back down the road, every now and again

I watched the memories of my past swaging in the wind

And yet the dusted road that lied behind me

Looked like a strange foreign woven tapestry

And had I turned back to revisit the insanity of those days

I’d a gotten lost some where backdown memories lonely lanes

Trapped between a faded future and a uncertain past

The road ahead appeared to be covered with thick frosted glass

Oh how much easier things would be for me

If I could ever go back and rewrite history

At least I’d know which apples had worms

And which rights would lead to silly wrong turns

Yet, I know, and I must admit, that I do actually realize

That, mistakes can only be seen through hindsight eyes

And I wonder to my self, am I somehow

Make a mistake, as I wait here even now?

Maybe I’ve already wasted too much time

Maybe, I just like letting these hours gradually past by

It puts more distance between him and me

It put more spaces between them and we

All those silly promises and fad dreams

All those hopeless nights and broken wings

Yes, a think, if I can, I’d like to stay here and rest just for little while

And try to gain more strength before I decide to go for that extra mile

And although my wings are healed from the time I spent with my heads in the clouds

And my legs ache no more from walking the tight ropes for those circus clowns.

I think I just stand hear in the warmth of dawn early morning light

And pretend for just once that everything was always all right.

by easyrivers

Oh so soft the light

That rises and erases the night

The peace and quietness of final being alone

Now seems so peculiar when everyone’s at home

I hear there soft drowsing talking

And there quite morning walking

But here in my bed I long to stay

To keep my sheets forever curled up in the same way

To relive the sweet memories of the past

Hoping that those haunting feelings will last

Your smell, your arms, your hands, your hair

Your voice traveling softly though the air

Your body that fits so perfectly next to mine

I can still  feel you stare with those unopened eyes.

While your warm breath moistens the nap of my neck

As you gently place my hands apond your chest and say: “Check,

That familiar stead sound,

it survives off of the deepest love I’ve ever found”

To this day It still sends shivers down though me

To know that you has these type feelings

But its day like these that makes make wonder why

I didn’t have the same look in my own eyes

Why I couldn’t make my heart jump to that same beat

Even when your words sent lighting though my feet

I knew there could never be a future in us

But you pleaded ” baby, please,we don’t have to rush”

I knew we had to much history

To many unsolved mysteries

Maybe it was the fear of me actually being able to feel

Or maybe it was fear that this might not actually be real

That told me it all had to end

Before, we could even try to begin

You, see, I knew you could see straight through my soul.

You never wonder or pretended you didn’t know.

So I had to set you free!

So you could find your real blessing.

But today as the sun beings to rise

And I dread to even open my eyes

Because all I want is feel thee

And pretend you still lie next to me

For these days are cold and the world is cruel outside

But reality is mine within these tightly closed eyes

Because you’re in there with me and I’m alright

At least until I’m forced to let in the daylight

Within these eyes its still night

And you where right, I’ll be alright.

Hey guys whats up?

Guess what? I’ve started writing again. I don’t really know why I ever stopped. I guess it was just the stress of school, work and my ex leavening for Iraq that did it for me. Ahh, you think? Nah…

I usually don’t let stuff like that get to me. Who would?

Anyway, I guess I was just being lazy. But still I’m soo totally sorry, I have procrastination issues, trust me I know!!! But I’m going to do much better now, I promise!!! But OMG, I have like a zillion poems that I’ve written between then and now, so I’ve got stuff to post for weeks on end now. And I’m writing a book called “For the love of freedom and knowledge”. Yippy!!! Still working on the plot but, its going to be a really good story. As I get father along I’ll start posting chapters ok?

Man it feels so go to be back!! So ok, yeah, hope yall enjoyed some of my earlier post. I think my writing has got alot better and more mature.  But I would love if yall left me some comments!! You don’t have to be all nice and stuff too, either. I mean its ok, if you are. But want I really want is some hard-core criticism!!! That’s what I need if I’m going to be any better at this.

Singed ur girl
Easyrivers

Yesterday I went home to see if I could find why

My childhood years had passed so quickly by

The time in that place slipped through these hands

Like a hour glass filled with water instead of sands

The tall thin trees that danced in the thick humid wind

Have marked well the place where my journey did begin

Homes and schools displayed memories of my past

Like a cool evening’s sun, that creates its shadowed cast

And as the last late fall leaves turn the streets a deep red, gold and brown

I saw a child long ago, stare out the school window as they fall to the ground

As the full white clouds rolled across the late evening day

I watched as she lifted her head to those heavens to begin to pray

And when Yahweh would open up those skies and release that icy winter rain

I remember how she used to let those rain drops wash away her tear stains

And the rainbow that formed, after those evening showers, across the cloudy skies

Would give her renewed courage and dreams of traveling to see what was on the other side

Strange how those stars, that shined so brightly in that late midnight sky

They still held the very sparkle, that lit once pure and innocent eyes

But as I drove down the road that night, fear hidden behind mine

For somehow I knew what I had to do, but I still didn’t know why!

Yet, while I slept, I remember having the strangest dream

That I spoken to my twin, I swore girl who looked just like me!

And this is what she said: “Cross over that rainbow, please go see what on the other side

I’m so sorry, I wanted to go with you, but I can’t, this journey I’m not strong enough to strive”

Well that morning came in fast, and the sun didn’t seem to rise its same soft and southern the way

As I repacked my things and checked out of my hotel suite for the very last day.

And as I sat down and looked out the plane window, staring back at me for the very first time

Was the woman who had finally found the courage to leave the girl she no longer was behind.

And as my plane continued to crossed the mid-morning sky

She never stopped smiling back, with only tears and no fear in her eyes.

By easyrivers

Dreams

Dreams are God’s little gifts to us

Sent through gentle angles to give us a tiny thrush

Into our destiny oh so very great

That all are simple ideas about our fate

When looked back a pond

Make us look like a child waving a fake wand

The Dreams that God gives to you

Enable you to make it thorough

The most painful times in your life

Like the hurting, pain and strife

Thus awaking with curious and daring hearts

We open are eyes and began to tear the wrapping part

That conceals the beautiful ‘present’ given by God today

An amazing piece of the puzzle that will in some way

Many Generations later play a huge part

In the Destiny that is instilled in each of our own very hearts.

written by Easyrivers

A Dozen Red Roses and a Diamond Ring

Dozen red rose in his left and a diamond ring in his right hand

He’d hoped to give the one girl who would make him a man

Beauty, tenderness, and gentleness so passionate and pure

Was all she had to offer and she hid it beneath a cloud of fear

His world was disillusioned by the desire to need

While his dreams where driven by the want to succeed

Her nights seemed so long and her days so cold

For she dreaded her fate, to grow old alone

He’d always slept with his left hand held to his heart

As he searched his dreams for that one missing part

Her hopeless almond eyes never left the ground

For she’d believed that true passion could never truly be found

He’d fall for those others again and again, thinking he found that

missing piece

Oh, how easy was it for him to trust in those that loved him the very least

Her heart had been broken and bruised over and over again

By the very ones she’d believe she knew how to mend

These two children, born into more than one culture and race

Preformed their roles, for they’d let the world select their painful fate

They where raised to expect to be hated and feared

And it was that fear that held them so far apart a yet so very near

For, he’ll go on to marry a kind woman, have children and build a good home

And he’ll find it hard to remember when he ever had a moment alone

And she’ll fell the memory of him began to fad,

As the years passed and she gracefully aged

For she to would grow to love her husband

And raise her children on a the hills of a beautiful Sicilian land Surprises, surprises, this is how these story always goes

But it’s the ending that forever remains untold

For on the day she smiles and closes her eyes, a pond her chest

One of his wilted red roses will silently rest

With a tarnish ring tied around its stem,

And small note stained with a tear and faded hymen.

And next to her, he will silently lie

With his hands placed not on his heart but by her sides;

And the note will read, for those who wish to see

Beyond this world full of fear and greed

“My love for you will never subside, but today my fear of it has finally died.” 

written by Easyrivers