Eat Drink & Be Merry

Nutella Fingerchips

2009-07-13T10:32:00.001-07:00

This reminds me of what I used to do with those fabulous Bugle chips. Remember those? Anyway, I'd imagine that this genius idea would set off a new trend amongst bakeries/dessert shops. Macaroon fingerchips from Jin Patisserie?

Portland, Oregon - A Humble Point on the Culinary Map - PSU Farmers Market, Bunk Sandwiches, Pinestate Biscuits, Pok Pok, Tanuki & Ten 01

2009-07-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, I woke up with a complete food hangover from yesterday. For those that have never participated in a food hop or food marathon, it is quite a caloric feat. It's what a foodie would do given a short amount of time in a new destination. We had only been in Portland for less than 24 hours and probably did 2-3 days worth of eating/drinking – yet it was the only beginning. We got up and Jeni immediately blurted out, "Stumptown Coffee" with a Tourette-like excitement. Again, as we waited in the elevator to slowly take us down to coffee heaven, I saw this sign again.

I thought about all the food we ate and we had to do something about it. We had recently purchased some bikes and took them with us to Los Olivos. The next best thing we could do in the U.S.'s most bike-friendly city is to go rent one. That way, we wouldn't feel so bad about inflating ourselves with delicious food for the remaining three days we had here in PDX.

We found a bike shop near the Burnside Bridge, which takes you over to the North East and South East side of Portland. It wasn't cheap but a lot more fun than riding a cab.

After grabbing some coffee, we took Ron's advice on visiting the Saturday farmer's market held at Portland State University. And I'm glad we did. The trek from the Ace Hotel to the farmer's market took 15-20 minutes, but went by quickly with the site of super green trees and cool weather. For a minute we didn't know if we had passed the market but the sound of street musicians and indistinct chatter suggested otherwise.

The farmer's market was filled with vendors selling the usual stuff and things I really wished we had down in Los Angeles. Like...

This gentleman representing the pickle company, Picklopolis. They offered interesting stuff like pickled fiddleheads, ramps and beets. Love the white suit.

And here was this young man selling eggs. Freshly laid eggs from his chicken farm about 45 mins outside of Portland. He was stoked to show us photos of his chickens/roosters in his album. Jeni really loved his hillbilly-suspender look.

Besides the usual farmer's market fare, there are quite a few hot food vendors serving breakfast, Mexican food and sandwiches. By far, the booth drawing the most attention was Pinestate Biscuits. Ron did not warn us on what we were about to experience. Jeni waited at the back of the line as I walked down the line towards the booth to investigate. I walked up to this guy and just watched in sheer disbelief.

In one hand, he held a plate with a fried chicken on a biscuit. He then placed two pieces of bacon and a slice of cheddar cheese on top of the fried chicken. Wait, I'm not done. He then tops everything with a big sloppy spoonful of sausage gravy. And finally, placing the other biscuit on top. He saw me shooting photos and smiled for me – knowing how unhealthy and decadent this creation was. It was almost like having a meal served to you by the Devil. Topped with butter, cheese, fat – all things that are delightfully bad for you. I was waiting for him to ask me if I wanted this super-sized.

It was time for the Devil to take our order and we went for the Gold Medal trophy of fatty food. We got the works which also included a fried egg!

And here it is, the Pinestate Biscuit with the works. Look at the stopping power. Even the people at McDonald's are running for the hills. If you want a diet version, you can just have the fried chicken topped with gravy and cheese.

Now it was time to taste it. With something as big as this you really don't know where to start. I gripped the beast with two hands, and gravy started to drip all over my plate. Nice. Where was a bib when I actually needed one? Jeni and I looked at each other with the "what are we doing?" look. I even saw another couple staring at me in bewilderment – getting ready to eat the biscuit vicariously. At that moment, my name wasn't Dylan anymore. It was Gus, the tow truck driver wearing a blue collared shirt and navy blue Dickies with full butt-crack showing. Tow truck drivers don't eat tofu crepes with strawberry parfait for lunch. They eat food with bold flavors and size. With my hairy arms and blackened finger nails from car grease, I picked up that thing like it was my bitch and bit into it – my protective eyelids rolling up like a Great White shark's.

And it was... seriously tasty. It didn't seem to make sense at first but when put together it was a delicious ode to what every Maxim-reading, college boy enjoyed eating. There was something grisly and barbaric about it; it was in fact, a man's meal. There was no herbal garnish to 'fancy' it up or a nice plate for presentation points. It was exactly what it was... a biscuitsandwichwithfriedchickenfriedeggcheddarcheesewithsausagegravy. I don't know when I would eat this again but it's one of those things that you can definitely say you've eaten. The guys at Pinestate Biscuits have seriously found an area right between pain and pleasure and slapped it in between two delicious biscuits. Note: can easily feed a small village in China or one hungry tow truck driver.

It was a good thing that Jeni and I shared that beastly biscuit, and rode our bikes to work that off. We cut through the suburban area and admired the beautiful houses on the tree-lined streets. We didn't bring any water with us but thanks to a kind young man named Riley, we were rejuvenated for a mere 50 cents. Notice how Riley has a hesitant look on his face. I think we were the first Asian people he's laid eyes on haha. Riley, I can assure you we are nice people – now give me that lemonade.

Again, I know it may seem ridiculous to readers on here, just how much we eat. You see, most people on vacation will engage in activities like shopping, site-seeing and amusement parks. We don't do any of that. We simply eat and drink all throughout town. After an hour of riding, the consensus (based on two voters) was that we needed to eat some more food. Ron, where do we go?

We rode our bikes down to a quaint Southeast sandwich shop called Bunk Sandwiches. According to Ron, sandwich shops are creeping on the town of Portland in a good way. In addition to Kenny & Zuke's, which is right next door to the Ace, Bunk Sandwiches draws a steady crowd during the 6 hours it is open. I remembered Bunk Sandwiches being mentioned in a magazine for its creative creations, such as the pork belly banh mi, but it wasn't on the menu the time we were here. "Get the pork belly and pulled pork," says the Ron located within my head.

Sandwiches are served with Dirty Potato Chips and Picklopolis pickles on a clean sheet of paper. All for only $8. NO TAX.

By far the best pork belly sandwich I've eaten. The cuts of pork belly were so damn moist and tender. The small amount of crisp lettuce and aioli really made this a perfect sandwich. To wash this down, may I suggest a "bunkmosa" for the extremely hip, skinny-jean wearing hipsters? An innocent cocktail made of Miller High Life and orange juice.

The pulled pork sandwich was served with a type of slaw on a poppy seed roll. Good, but I enjoyed the pork belly more.

Chef Tommy Habetz is pictured in the lower corner and is super cool. On my next trip here, I'll definitely be stopping by to see what other creations he has in store.

During the millions of emails sent by Ron and Kevin of Guilty Carnivore, we had thrown in the idea of possibly seeing a show. M83 sounds great, but we really didn't know how full/tired we'd be. We continued riding throughout the suburbs to kill time. We were about to meet Ron for the first time in two hours for a snack, followed by a formal dinner with some more foodies.

Guess we'll eat again. Unfortunately, this popular food cart called Potato Champion wasn't open. They serve french fries and a Canadian treat called poutine, which entails the dumping of gravy and cheese curds on top of your fries. I think I've had enough gravy-as-a-topping for a few years. Sorry Potato Champion.

We rode around longer to kill time and came across my favorite barber shop, Rudy's. Jeni and I looked at each other and simultaneously yelled, "haircut!" In addition to riding bikes/scooters on vacation, we like getting our hair cut by whoever because each city has its own hairstlye. I was convinced that I would be getting a 'normal' haircut compared to barbers I've had in Taiwan, Guilin and Buenos Aires. Heck, Rudy's is only FROM the Pacific Northwest so I'm in good hands.

We decided to meet up with Ron and his friend at Pok Pok, a popular Thai restaurant. But why eat Thai in Portland when we have Thai Town in Los Angeles? It wasn't until I saw Pok Pok featured in the May '09 issue of Food & Wine that I became interested in eating here. And to top it off, Pok Pok is run by an American by the name of Chef Andy Ricker, who goes to Thailand 2-3 times a year to learn/acquire recipes to bring back to PDX. To me, that sort of effort deserves a fair review.

We were surprised to see that Pok Pok was really not a restaurant, but more so, a house with outdoor/patio seating. It was 5 pm, the time of opening, and there were already a good 25 people waiting outside (im)patiently. The rest of the house had already been filled up – crazy. And the next door take-out order area, known as Pok Pok Whiskey Soda Lounge, was packed with PDXers.

There was something really cool about eating Thai food in a cabin-like house. I could smell chicken being roasted on a special type of grill that Chef Ricker could only have devised through the influence of visits to Thailand street vendors. It was so dainty, yet functional like any one of McGuyver's gadgets. The foil above the grill gave me a feel of being along the street in some Asian country. Yet we were brought back to Portland reality with the mostly-male waiters wearing baby blue t-shirts and various arm tattoos.

There's peace of mind when you can trust the host to order delicious food for you and not have to look at the menu once. Ron highly recommended the Fish Sauce-flavored Chicken Wings. And they were super tasty – spicy, good amount of fish sauce and a nice crisp skin. I could have easily eaten a dozen of these with ice cold Thai beer.

I didn't catch the name of this dish but it involved a duck egg, warm noodles and herbs in a coconut milk broth. I was expecting a sour/sharp taste to the soup but was mildly reminded of the some of the delicate, well-balanced dishes I had tried at Los Angeles's Jitlada restaurant. Most mediocre Thai restaurants will offer dishes on extreme ends. Your food is either really strong on fish sauce, sour, spicy or sweet. Compromising taste to appeal to newer, less-adventurous diners only leads to bastardization. I can't remember the last time my parents ordered Sweet & Sour chicken or egg rolls in starchy red sauce. Anyway, all I could remember about Chef Ricker's food was how well balanced his tastes were. Not to mention the fact that his menu highlighted regional dishes I had never even heard of, more so than common dishes like Pad Thai or Tom Yum Soup. I have never been to Thailand but I got a good feeling when tasted the food here at Pok Pok.

We were in a hurry to meet for the formal dinner and only got to try three different things. I was quite bummed but this only makes Pok Pok an even bigger priority on my next trip. I highly recommend this place if you have the sudden urge to eat something non-Portlandish. Everyone we had talked to in Portland asked where we were going to eat, and we would tell them Pok Pok. We would get a nice, "Ah!" response. Apparently, a very good thing.

Note: Chef Ricker also has a skewer joint called Ping in the Northwest side of town.

We rode our bikes back towards the Northwast area, near the Pearl District, and Ron and a group of foodies for an izakaya meal at Tanuki. We walked into a small room lit with red lights and a TV playing some strange Japanese drama. Here we met Kevin of Guilty Carnivore, a wonderful couple that really enjoyed food as well and Nick, who joined us earlier at Pok Pok.

Before we could even start ordering food, we were poured sake as part of a welcome toast.

Again we let Ron, Kevin, Matt and Nick do the ordering. Tanuki is considered an izakaya for its smallish plates. But not everything was Japanese. There were hints of Chinese, Thai, Korean and even Pacific Islanderish in some of the dishes we ordered. All were done really well.

My favorites were the skewered duck hearts, skewered bay scallops, ahi tuna, fried egg udon and braised pork with fresh mango over rice.

Like Ricker's Pok Pok, I was very surprised to see that the food was prepared by this young lady – Chef Janis Martin. According to Ron, she studied in Japan (I believe Okinawa) for quite a few years, before coming back to Portland to run Tanuki.

Now it was time for dessert in a cocktail glass. The night before, we had awesome cocktails at Clyde Common. None were priced more than $8. But here at Ten 01, drinks are up to $10 and with good reason – it's purportedly one of Portland's best cocktail lounges. Ron mentioned that the owner sent all the stellar bartenders down to Tennessee for a lesson in Whiskey. Don't pull my arm, boss.

And this concludes another exhausting yet wonderful day of eating and drinking. Again, tomorrow will be a groundhog day for my wife and I. Again, we looked at the elevator sign, but smiled at each other. Hey, at least we rode off a ton of calories today. Thanks for reading.

Portland, Oregon - DAY ONE

Portland State University Farmer's Market

Saturdays, 8:30 am - 2:00 pm

www.portlandfarmersmarket.org

Pinestate Biscuits

(at PSU Farmer's Market)

Pinestate Biscuits (Restaurant Location)

3640 SE Belmont Street

Portland, OR 97214

(503) 236-3346

www.pinestatebiscuits.com

Bunk Sandwiches

621 SE Morrison Street

Portland, OR 97214

(503) 477-9515

www.bunksandwiches.com

Pok Pok

3226 SE Division Street

Portland, OR 97255

(503) 232-1387

www.pokpokpdx.com

Tanuki

413 NW 21st Street

Portland, OR 97209

(503) 241-7667

www.tanukipdx.com

Ten01

1001 NW Couch Street

Portland, OR 97209

(503) 226-3463

www.ten-01.com

Pho Garden, San Francisco - The 8th Wonder of the Culinary World

2009-06-23T14:18:00.000-07:00

I did a double-take when my friend sent me an email with this ludicrous image. Apparently, Pho Garden in San Francisco offers a pho challenge. Free if you can finish this in one hour or it's a $22 bill that excludes stomach pumping. Can you hold your own? Anyone actually go here?

Mark Menjivar - You Are What You Eat

2009-06-10T10:31:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their CD or DVD collection. Guys, if you're ever at a girl's place for the first time and she has movies like "The Notebook", "Titanic" or "A Walk to Remember", do yourself a favor and exit the building ASAP. You're in for an unscripted, real-life romcom. Yikes.

Or how about someone that has Celine Dion LIVE or Mandy Moore Unplugged on CD. Is it a coincidence that both Celine Dion and Mandy Moore are involved with shitty music and shitty movies.

And Texas-based photographer, Mark Menjivar, knows that you can tell a lot by what a person eats. I go through photographer portfolios frequently in advertising, and particularly look for interesting projects. Thought I might share this one.

"You Are What You Eat is a series of portraits made by examining the interiors of refrigerators in homes across the Untied States.

For three years I traveled around the country exploring the issue of hunger. The more time I spent speaking and listening to individual stories, the more I began to think about the foods we consume and the effects they have on us as individuals and communities. An intense curiosity and questions about stewardship led me to begin to make these unconventional portraits.

A refrigerator is both a private and a shared space. One person likened the question, "May I photograph the interior of your fridge?" to asking someone to pose nude for the camera. Each fridge is photographed "as is." Nothing added, nothing taken away.

These are portraits of the rich and the poor. Vegetarians, Republicans, members of the NRA, those left out, the under appreciated, former soldiers in Hitler’s SS, dreamers, and so much more. We never know the full story of one's life.

My hope is that we will think deeply about how we care. How we care for our bodies. How we care for others. And how we care for the land." - Mark Menjivar

Bartender's fridge. Goes to sleep at 8am and wakes up at 4pm daily. My good friend's lifestyle is exactly like this. He comes home in the morning, sleeps during the day and eats take-out. It's a Groundhog Day lifestyle. But you make the tips and you get the chicks. Works for him. BTW, why is there an American flag chilling inside there?

Street Advertiser that lives on $432 fixed monthly income. This is very sad. Even college kids utilize the space better with their cheap beer and midnight burritos.

Botanist from Indiana. Says that he likes plants more than people. I like how the Pepsi bottle was converted into a giant, cap-less water bottle. And that chili on the right doesn't look promising.

And this is probably the most interesting one. A werewolf that likes Jose Cuervo? I like the frozen lemon in there – his only source of vitamins.

What's in my fridge?
Jeni actually brought up a funny point. Before she met me, her fridge/freezer was full of snacky stuff like our favorite frozen pizza, Jeno's, chicken strips and take-out. Now her fridge is full of exotic Asian sauces, all types of ball-shaped processed meats that I love (fish, beef, pork, shrimp, mushroom), vegetables, egg noodles and ice.

What's in your fridge usually? Thanks for reading.

A Weekend Getaway in Oxnard & Los Olivos, California

2009-06-08T00:14:00.000-07:00

A month ago, Jeni and I headed up to Ventura County for my good friend's wedding. Finally, a wedding that didn't take place in a Sheraton, Hilton or Holiday Inn. I knew that my friend JC would do something differently because of her unique tastes for things and open-mindedness. It's why we still kept in touch for nearly 14 years. And this weekend, a whole group of us drove of a hundred miles to witness the union of her and her husband – in a lovely barn that was quite worthy of being featured in some Bridezilla forum.

Knowing we would probably be drinking fun juice, we decided to check in at the Q Hotel before heading to the wedding. The W Hotel is now obsolete, it's all about the Q Hotel, aka La Quinta Inn. The prices are great at $89.99 a night but man, they sure punish you for being poor. Two elevators you had to walk 2-3 mins to. An ice machine only available on the penthouse floor, which is also the 3rd floor. Chubby out-of-town kids altering the color of the water in the pool. The hotel receptionist might as well say, "Thanks for checking in at The Q. You are your own bellboy. Maybe you should've worked harder in life. Enjoy your stay." Hey, it's a place to sleep. We're not there to relax.

Driving to the wedding venue, the weather wasn't looking good. I started to feel concerned for J&J, but once we got there, we knew the weather wouldn't even dent the evening. With the barn and wild flowers all around, it felt rustic and miles away from Los Angeles.

In Los Angeles, you would not see these kinds of beautiful weeds.

Only the kind you can smoke.

I was three drinks away from rolling down these hills.

I can't say the same about a lot of weddings. Because although they are fun, they all kind of follow the same pattern. Not J&J's. After the ceremony, we were quickly moved to an area for drinks and hors d'oeurves. And then we entered the barn, which probably held 120-130 people, which I think is a perfect size. The decorations, art direction and lighting were perfect tens.

Here is my friend, Mr. Groom, absolutely devouring his meal. At my wedding reception, I ate ONE TACO.

And here is my friend, Judy. Congratulations to you and Jonathan. The night was very, very young. And easily one of the best weddings I've been to.

The next morning, instead of packing up and heading home, we took the 101 and drove even more North. We decided to bring up our new bikes and maximizing the weekend with a little wine tasting and exercising – at the same time.

We've been trying to be a little more green by not driving around too much. We eat at local places and frequent the market by bike. And it's been SUPER fun. If you're going to eat a fat piece of foie gras for dinner tonight, you won't feel as bad knowing that you're biking to and from the restaurant. You're still going to be fat, but not AS fat right?

You don't realize how beautiful California is until you drive through places like Sequoia, Napa Valley and Santa Barbara. Not to mention the fact that you can appreciate beauty at 5 mph versus 50 mph. The scenery looks like this for miles. With the window rolled down and some good beats, you're in a good place.

Again, there really is beauty in everything. We saw this little guy on the way to a winery. Rather looking like typical roadkill, he actually looked like he was at peace. Or really drunk off the grapes he found in the dumpster of a winery. Rest in peace.

As Jeni will tell you or rather show you, never start a wine tasting trip on an empty stomach nor Doritos Bleu Cheese & Ranch flavor. I really feel bad for our two friends sitting in between her that glorious day haha. All I have to say is, I think Doritos REALLY uses Bleu Cheese in their crap. Anyway, we stopped at the Los Olivos Grocery store for some grub. For those planning on picnicking along the way, this is your fancy-ass 7-11 – it's a grocery and cafe.

The second we stepped out of the car, we were pulled in by THIS... a delicious, perfect-colored piece of brisket smoked with oak wood. Damn.

A sandwich, three sides and absence of Doritos Bleu Ranch chips make for a great day of wine tasting in Los Olivos. Right Jeni? Was everything good, yeah not bad! The brisket was damn tender – I'll be back here again for sure.

We do this every where we travel, bike with a buzz. China, Argentina, Portland and right here in Los Olivos. There's just something wonderful about riding with the wife and a nice buzz. No BUI's this time.

As we were riding down a shaded street, J suddenly yelled out, "Lavender!" We pulled into the driveway of Clairomont Farms, which you guessed, grows lavender. I would never give the time of day to a place that reminds me of a natural Bath & Body Works. She had tried a cocktail that used lavender and wanted to buy some home for some experimentation.

Jeni rolled out of the farm with a bunch of lavender and smiles. I rolled out with a peppery nose, dry cough and itchy eyes. It was TERRIBLE. If I go back here, I'm wearing a bio-chemical bike suit.

We tried three places that day and gave in to one more place one we saw how nicely designed the tasting room was. Family owned for decades, the Sarloos Brothers successfully mix interior decorating and wine.

If you ever see this 6'2" man walk off his Harley with some Locs, you might want to obey his commands. Even if he says "EAT THE CUPCAKES NOW." Which is exactly what he told us to do. Apparently, he knows the cupcakes served here.

And this is the cupcake man, drinking wine and selling his cupcakes. Seems fair enough.

If you do a tasting of wine, you can also get a discount on a flight of cupcakes.

I believe this was Lime & Chardonnay flavored. Too sweet for me.

Next time you're out in Ventura County, plan a stop over at Los Olivos or Santa Barbara. It's truly a quick weekend getaway that won't leave you too poor. If you are too poor like us, you can always stay at The Q to cut down on costs. Thanks for reading.

Portland, Oregon - A Humble Point on the Culinary Map - Ace Hotel, Stumptown Coffee Roasters, Beast PDX, Clyde Common & Broder Scandinavian

2009-05-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

A few months back, J took me to Hatfield's for a fantastic birthday dinner. When we were about to leave she told me she had one more gift. She presented me with an unsealed envelope. I opened it and found two photocopied menus from restaurants i had never heard of.

Me: "What do I do with these? We ordering delivery?"
J: "Pick one."

I looked closer at the info under the two restaurants and noticed that one was based in Seattle, the other one in Portland.

J: "They are both oyster restaurants. Choose one."
Me: "I think i'm going to have to go with Portland."

Why Portland? Maybe it's because of the strong influence of Indie music bands there? The large social movement of thirty-somethings escaping big urban monsters; seeking a new place to live and restart? The fine coffee, breweries and distilleries spread out all over the state? My coworker said, "If Silver Lake, Los Angeles was its own city, it would be like Portland."
But for whatever reason Portland is the way it is, it has claimed much attention in the culinary world in the last few years. I read a few articles recently in NY Times, GQ and Food & Wine... all had great things to say about the food of Portland.

And if that was not convincing enough to settle on Portland, I only needed to think about two gentleman in Portland that would ensure that Jeni and I ate well. These two guys are Ron of PDX Plate and Kevin of Guilty Carnivore. We have never met the Guilty Carnivore himself, but we DO know him through his 3+ years of writing. He is a man who loves to mix food and politics together and always seems to be in search of the ideal Vietnamese sandwich. And there's Ron, who some of you may know as SauceSupreme on Chowhound. An ex-Angeleno who moved to Portland for work and for the food. But his knowledge of food alone makes the "work" part a complete lie. After a few weeks of email correspondence with Ron, Kevin and another generous foodie by the name of Matt, we had the most important thing taken care of: the food itinerary. I have to say one of the best things about writing a food blog is having a connection to other bloggers anywhere in the world. And it is very likely they will do their best to make sure you enjoy your time.

Only $250 for a 2-hour flight to Portland, we arrived on an early Friday morning with nothing but duffle bags, hunger and sheer excitement. It was a different feeling entering a city much smaller in relation to New York or Chicago. But thanks to the internet, you can very much see what you're getting yourself into. We got out of the Portland airport (PDX) and hopped on a train into town.

As the train slowly slithered through the city, I could only think about one thing – green. Green as in true chlorophyll. I think the product designers of Glade bathroom spray cans based their artwork on the Portland scenery. I couldn't believe how green the trees and grass were and how clean and fresh the air felt. So THIS is what fresh air is SUPPOSED to feel like. Part of this is due to the bicycle as a common means for transportation. In LA, we have parking meters. In Portland, where there is a meter, there is a bike rack.

We got dumped off in the South West area of Portland - it's one of four quadrants in the city divided by a river and major bridge. Speaking of bridges, it IS known as Bridgetown – 12 to be exact! We stayed at the Ace Hotel franchise, which also has locations in Palm Springs, Seattle and New York. If Urban Outfitters were to have their own hotel, this would be it. It's a great combination of Pacific Northwest/wilderness chic and design. Not to mention very reasonable in price for a room that is decorated by individual artists.

We walked into the Ace and smiled upon seeing the lobby area with dark wood walls. A good 10-12 people sat on the couches and chairs reading their Mercury's and sipped quietly on what smelled like some of the best coffee ever. But I couldn't attest that as I don't drink much coffee – I prefer fun juice.

We checked in and J already knew what she wanted to do. That coffee we smelled earlier in the lobby was none other than Portland's favorite coffee shop, Stumptown Coffee Roasters. I put this next to Vietnamese iced coffee as my favorites. But for a coffee that was unaided by velvety condensed milk and a tiny drip press, this was some asskicking coffee. A few sips of this and I was awake. We sat over in the lobby, sipped on our asskicking coffee and people watched like the creepy tourists that we were.

10:32 am.
Our stomach rumbles and I rub my hands together. Time to start Ron's food tour.

Portland is a big breakfast town. Ron said that even if you served the shittiest breakfasts, you'd still be doing okay because people will still eat it – something to that extent. That is how Norm's and Denny's has survived for so long. He sent us out to a place in the Southeast that serves breakfast Scandinavian style. Whatever that meant, I hope it tasted better than Ikea's breakfast and didn't require me to walk 1.8 miles through a showroom just to get to the exit.

And here we are at Broder, which is known for danish pancakes called Æbleskiver, pronounced 'eh-bleh-skee-vah'. I was lucky enough to find someone on Yelp who previously typed out that Æ letter.

What is an Æbleskiver? Think ball-shaped pancakes similar to a beignets and Japan's takoyaki. Its cooked in a pan with seven round grooves. Like takoyaki, once the lower hemisphere of the batter is cooked, it is then flipped over with a skewer/needle and naturally molded into a round ball. Topped with powdered sugar and a trio of dipping sauces that includes lemon cream, lingonberry jam and maple syrup.

We both enjoyed these as they were very light and tasty. If you're near Solvang, you can stop over at the Solvang Restaurant for some Æbleskiver as well.

I saw people at neighboring tables ordering eggs baked in square skillets. I love square things. So Scandinavian to shape food into squares and present them to you in a grid layout. I had the farmer's special which included smoked trout and shallots. I am now wearing a "#1 Scandinavian Smoked Trout Fan" shirt – that's how awesome it was.

And what is there not to like about potato latkes charred perfectly for toothsome texture. Served with walnut bread.

After breakfast we headed back to the hotel, but not before seeing a bartender extracting fresh juice from an old-school juicer through the window of a neighboring bar/restaurant. One of the things Ron mentioned was the prevalence of stellar cocktail lounges in Portland. I told them that while we enjoy places in LA like The Association, The Varnish and Rivera – $12-15 for a drink can do damage to a wallet. Enter Clyde Common for the $5 happy hour and regularly priced $8 drinks. He also mentioned that $9 is what the best bar in town will charge, so if a bar charges $9.01 – you'd better taste that extra penny. And Clyde Common did not FAIL with their drinks.

One thing you'll notice in Portland is that quite a few respectable bars/lounges will display their Bohemian Absinthe fountain. This seems to be the trend of late for a drink that was brought to attention by artists and writers – Van Gogh for example. If taken as a shot, you could find yourself feeling very ill in the style of too much Jagermeister or Ouzo. Used in moderation as an aromatic, your cocktail is taken to another level. Thanks to John, the wonderful bartender at Clyde Common, for the conversations and cocktails.

A few hours later, it was time for dinner. One of the restaurants that caught our eye was a place in the Northeast called Beast, headed by a female chef named Naomi Pomeroy. She was most recently nominated as one of Food & Wine's Best New Chefs 2009, along with the two guys from LA's Animal. We made reservations a month back.

Me: "I'd like to make a reservation at 7:30."
Beast: "We only do two seatings. 6 pm or 8:45 pm."
Me: "Okay 6 pm then."

Not knowing why they only had two seatings, I just went ahead and picked 6 pm. I looked on their site and realized that the menu was what-you-see-is-what-you-get. Chef Pomeroy quotes: "SUBSTITUTIONS POLITELY DECLINED."

Our cab dropped us off in front of the cozy and quaint restaurant named Beast. What we thought would be a very strict dinner all of a sudden made sense once we stepped foot inside the square dining area no larger than a deluxe living room. On the left was a table for 8 and on the right, a table for 12-16. And right in the center was a large counter top covered in plates. This was HER kitchen AND dining area. Awesome.

We took a seat and watched as Pomeroy's sous chef plated salads on the counter top. Pomeroy, in a black top and black pin-striped apron, walked around her kitchen gracefully. Jeni and I felt relaxed because there was absolutely no kitchen havoc. Quite notably, a huge difference between a male and female chef's kitchen. Working in a restaurant before, I knew how noisy and stressful it could get. These two chefs could have been walking barefooted on glass, stacked dishes on their head, two monkeys climbing on their backs and still serve food with a smile.

We really loved the idea of sitting with other guests, a style of cuisine that could only come from someone who loves her home as much as her food. Another thing we loved about Pomeroy's restaurant was the clear view of her cookbooks perching on shelves. Whether or not they are put to use or merely restaurant fodder, we assumed that she is a humble and homey cook, not afraid to experiment or refer to the books in a pinch. I highly doubt any egotistic chef would display books for guests to scrutinize their level of experience. We introduced ourselves and sat patiently for the meal to start. If you really want to know, she enjoys Joy of Cooking, Judy Rodger's Zuni Cafe, Suzanne Goin's Sunday Supper at Lucques and Harold McGee's On Food and Cooking – all very solid cookbooks we could not live without.

And here's what Pomeroy served.

Chilled Fresh Shelled English Pea Soup
With english peas in season, you'll see this delicious ingredient everywhere. It's sweet, crunchy and can go well with salads, meats and of course soup. She pureed the peas with herbed creme fraiche/cream and served it quite cold. I really enjoyed this.

Spring Greens with Sauvignon Blanc Vinaigrette and Shaved Sheep's Milk Cheese
I loved the presentation of this – rustic and fresh. The shaving of cheese made it easier for it to melt on your tongue.

Shaved Fennel Salad & Charcuterie Plate
Wow. This plate had everything - variety, colors and pate-like objects. This was a fabulous carnival of hors d'oeurves. I think this is where Chef Pomeroy shines.

Steak Tartare & Quail Egg Toast - I read about this in a magazine and could not wait to try this out. A+ for the combination of two things I enjoy - quail eggs and steak tartare. I actually asked if I could 'buy' a few more of these but was POLITELY DECLINED. I had to try.

Pork Liver, Sour Cherry & Pistachio Pate - what I liked about this was not the usual mushiness of a pate. This was in fact more of a terrine/cake because I could taste all the texures. The pistachios still had a decent bite to it. Similar recipe found here.

Chicken Liver Mousse & Maple Candied Bacon - if I could eat this everyday I would. By far, the table's favorite on the charcuterie plate. The combination of creamy liver and candied bacon had a yin & yang relationship.

Foie Gras Bon Bon - our table considered this the 'dessert' of the charcuterie plate and it sure was. it was like a scoop of really savory buttery ice cream on top of shortbread.

Rabbit Saddles Stuffed with Brioche & Spring Vegetables and White Wine Braised Leeks with Prosecco Butter
Probably the best rabbit I have ever eaten. Flavorful seasoning on the skin, moist meat and crunchy vegetable filling. The leek was a bit strong on the wine but great in texture.

Selection of Steve's Cheese, Anise & Fleur de Sel Shortbread, Fruit & Hazelnuts
Whoever Steve is, nice job.

Brown Sugar & Cream Cheese Custard

What a great casual dinner this was. The food, the service and the fellow diners really helped us enjoy our first night in Portland. I would definitely come back and ask to put in a pre-order of those Quail Egg & Steak Tartare toasts.

Day one of four came to an end. We were too tired to go anywhere else and decided to call it night. Standing in the elevator, we noticed this sign. A simple reminder that because we would be eating a lot, we needed to do something about it or buy new jeans. To be continued...

And here's a mix that I made for the Portland trip. Enjoy!

Breed Street Food Fair, East Los Angeles - Taking A Trip on the Mexico Time Travel Machine

2009-05-19T08:46:00.001-07:00

If you could time travel, where would you go? More importantly, where would you LIKE to travel to solely for food? If you ask me, it would be very difficult for me to answer. But, I would consider...

Shanghai. For some of the crispiest, juiciest pan-fried dumplings ever. A line with no less than 30 people at any given moment. One bite of these, and you'll know you're in China.

Hong Kong. For some of the crunchiest, toothsome wontons ever. So crunch you can hear the friction between the shrimp and your lucky tooth.

Vietnam. I could die eating a bowl of pho on a tiny stool at 7:15 am, inhaling the toxic gas from scooters passing by.

Paris. For those gigantic oysters known as belons, or European Flats. They taste like Duracell batteries at first, but with one swig of a fine wine, you''ll understand the relationship between the sea and land, and ascend into oyster heaven.

I could go on and on about things that would get me hot & bothered, but until I nail the Lotto or if Virgin surpasses its galactic endeavors with an actual time travel machine, I'm stuck in Los Angeles. But if you're interested in all things Mexican and strapped for cash, like I am, during the economic hardship, you may find what you're looking for – a portal into Mexico. Right in East LA.

I first heard about this food fair from Anjali of Delicious Coma, Abby of Pleasure Palate and Bill of Street Gourmet LA – who write fantastic blogs. On a Friday night, some friends and I met up with Anjali and Pam for some time traveling. We got off the 5 freeway and as we neared our destination, I really didn't know what to expect. Would it be similar to our trips to Oaxaca and D.F.? Or would this be an overhyped event. Once we saw the Big Buy Foods market and people crossing back and forth on the street, we knew it would be stellar. There were a good 25-30 people working the 10+ booths and about 100 hungry patrons walking around with cash in their hands.

If you haven't been to Mexico, I'd say this is a pretty good simulation of it. Portable lights affixed to poles, rainbow-colored parasols, Tejano music pumping from old boomboxes, people's voices and the pattering of spatulas on metal griddles. All within a parking lot on a Friday night. This was fantastic.

We also ran into a nice couple that we had met at a La Casita dinner in Bell, hosted by a certain teenager. Jocie and Al are also heavily involved in the Los Angeles food scene and head their own 'food tours', including stopovers here at the Breed Street food fair. With their guidance and generosity and our swine-like instincts, we would only eat the best tonight.

This couple offered fish tacos, flautas and pupusas. Quite a cultural mix of food.

Taquitos/flautas getting a spicy, green bubble bath.

Pozole/posole. One of my favorite Mexican soups made with pork feet, tomato sauce, broth and hominy. Topped with thinly sliced radishes (rabanos), onions, cilantro and lime – so good on a cold night. A large container of this for only $5.99.

Esquites. A Mexican favorite. What is there not to love about

corn, mayonnaise, cheese, chile and lime? I always get stinging

red lips after eating this but it's so worth it.

Tortillas hecho a mano. Yummy corn tortillas.

This vendor, Anna, as written on her t-shirt, specializes in Mexico City (D.F.) style quesadillas. The tub in the center with the dark filling is huitlacoche, Mexican corn fungus. It has a pungent, sour taste similar to parmesan cheese. Great stuff.

From the same female chef, Anna, is this variation of enchiladas that

has huitlacoche. Jocie's friends were kind enough to order this

and share some with us. Thanks!

Have you had barbacoa? If not, you should eat it because it's fabulous. It's slow roasted lamb served on a tortilla.

But what I love most about eating barbacoa or even birria, is the accompaniment of rich, flavorful broth known as consome. Usually in the flavor of goat (chivo). You take a bite of the taco and refresh your palate with a shot of this soup. So good. Might even taste good dipping it in the consome.

If you've been to a taco stand/table, you'll usually see a pan covered in saran wrap or even a white towel. That type of meat, usually cabeza or lengua, is being steamed. Mexicans call it tacos al vapor, as in steam/vapor, because they steam both the meat AND the tortilla. And it's hot enough to leave blisters on your hands. I had the cabeza here and I can't explain to you how moist this meat was – melted right away.

Of course you'll find your standard taco vendor. But to tell you the truth, they become the lonely stepchild of the family when there's so many other new things to try. I'm sure they are good.

But what I found to be the most delicious and interesting was the Churro Man and his son. They were situated next to the barbacoa people and told me that he had constructed the churro machine at home. An ingenious contraption that involves a crank, star-shaped tip and a pool of hot oil. You can't see, but the man has his right hand on a crank that pushes out a segment of churro dough. He then carefully catches the churro and gently lays it in the pool of oil. The whole process takes a few minutes and is finished off in a bowl of cinnamon sugar, done by his son. Only 4 pieces for $1. Crunchy on the outside, and doughy in the middle - a perfect churro in my opinion. I wonder how these compare to the churro truck in Echo Park.

Just an FYI, there are only 10 vendors in a small portion of a parking lot. It may look small from the outside, but once you see the amount of food offered by the vendor, it is definitely larger in one's perspective.

Bill of Street Gourmet LA's writeup.

Abby of Pleasure Palate's writeup.

Anjali of Delicious Coma's writeup.

Big Buy Foods (Across the street)

2233 E. Cesar Chavez Avenue

Los Angeles, CA 90033

Thursday - Sunday, 7-10 pm

Idiots Found at 99 Ranch Market in Monterey Park, CA.

2009-05-18T14:09:00.000-07:00

Saw this a few weeks back. Idiots are now on sale, for only $4.99/lb. Looks like 99 Ranch market is trying to get rid of these idiots, so you better hurry.

Happy Mother's Day Dinner - Mom, the Eternal Ass Kicker

2009-05-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started walking, my mom was there to make sure I didn't get into trouble. She passed on mannerisms that her mom had pass, as well as providing the natural love, care and attention a mother burdens herself with. But we as children don't usually respond the way they want. That's why there is something called 'ass kicking'. It comes in many forms. Sometimes it makes you cry, sometimes it makes you angry and sometimes, it outright HURTS. My mom's method of shaping me into a proper gentleman... a feather duster. Not just any kind, but one made in Hong Kong. It looks soft, fluffy and purely for cleaning right? WRONG. You switch the ends of it and you've got the Chinese Ass-Kicker. Two things for the price of one – now that's a deal in any Chinese person's eyes.

I remember one time when I was 5. My sister and I were out in the front having productive fun, like throwing rocks over at the neighbor's yard. You kids nowadays have cooler things to play with like all-too-real video games and internet. Back then, we only had rocks and Garbage Pail Kids - take your pick. An hour later, after my sister and I had grown tired of chucking rocks into the neighbor's pool. I hear the most ear-deafening scream of my name.

"DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"

The second I heard that, I knew very well where my ass was destined. My sister and I quickly scoured the living room of our tiny house and took refuge in a nightstand behind the couch. I looked over at my sister, who looked liked a deer in headlights. The door opened and it slammed. I could hear her footsteps in the living room and could hear her running around the house. Every time the footsteps got louder, my sister and I ducked our heads into our knees, shaking. FUCK. We were so fucked. And all of a sudden, I see my mom's face at the end of the nightstand. NO GOOD. She told us to get out and we sat there like still wildlife. MAN, we were so fucked. I eventually walked out and I can still remember the look on her face. NOT HAPPY. I admitted to throwing the rocks at the neighbor's yard because I was bored and didn't have those all-too-real video games and internet. Next thing I know, she's equipped with Mr. Feather Duster. And I looked over at my little sister who was really feeling bad for me. She looked so sad. I slowly turned around and closed my eyes. THE END.

Before you call any social workers, you'd be glad to know that after this one incident, I didn't get into any trouble until I was off on my own. No more visits to Mr. Feather Duster. My sister and I got our ass whooped as little kids, but we now understand the importance of it as adults. She meant well, as did my dad, who instead of using the feather duster, preferred his right foot. And we thank them both for keeping us in line.

So here we are on Mother's Day 20-plus years later. I'm married now to a woman I love dearly and on the path to starting my own family. Mom will become a grandma one day and will be there to see our children. But one thing is still on her agenda... kicking my ass. Not the feather duster way... but with health, work, saving money, buying a house, blah blah blah. It never ends. But its what a mother does. I have to say that my mom and dad are the biggest influences in my interest for cooking and nothing makes them happier than providing them with soul food. This year was different though... it was our first time doing a dual Mother's Day dinner for my mom and Jeni's mom.

We decided to do seafood as the dinner theme. Making me eat seafood as a kid was the bane of my mother's existence. I was food poisoned at an early age by some Chinese-style black clams and it traumatized for nearly 20 years. TWENTY YEARS without SEAFOOD. My sister used to shake her head and say, "you don't know what you're missing," while devouring something delicious like Chiu-Chow style garlic fried crab. Jeni and I got up early and headed to our favorite farmer's market in Hollywood. We had been so busy during the week that we didn't have time to plan the menu. But that's where farmer's markets come in handy. With some spontaneity and creativity, you can make a fine meal with the purveyed goods. Not to mention the freshness of the food.

Some young shitake mushrooms. An earthiness that goes well with seafood.

Sweet, crunchy English peas - good enough to be eaten raw with a little salt and spice.

Jeni made a delicious fruit bowl with the farmer's market fruit with wine and simple syrup.

Manila clams from 99 Ranch Market. Not so Farmer's Marketish, but hey we're not rich.

One of the hardest things for me is thinking of a fish to cook with. There are just way TOO MANY. Check out 99 Ranch and the filipino market, Seafood City, and you'll know what I mean. I wanted something light and remembered a delicious fish I had at Wylie Dufresne's WD-50 in New York. Olive-Oil Poached Turbot with Smoked Bulgur and Coffee-Saffron sauce. The turbot is a goofy-looking flat fish found mainly in the North Atlantic.

I always pay a visit to Rob of the Carlsbad Aquafarm. He's a super nice guy that really enjoys watching people eat oysters. Not in a creepy way. He's just passionate about his seafood. I picked some Carlsbad Blondes because of their delicate cucumber finish. You can find him at the Santa Monica Farmer's Market on Saturdays and at the Hollywood Farmer's Market on Sundays. $10/dozen oysters.

Alaskan King Crab, Poached Egg & Haricot Vertes Frisee Salad
I mixed the king crab with my favorite, smoked paprika, and the haricot vertes in some creme fraiche, lemon juice and S&P. Served it on top of some frisee with Jeni's citronette vinaigrette with a poached egg. The idea here was to crack the poached egg over the frisee and bring in the crab and green beans. It was very light and fresh.

Manila Clams with Spanish Chorizo, Leeks & White Wine
You can't go wrong with clams + butter + wine. I sautéd some shallots, spanish chorizo, garlic and leeks and added the clams. Then I poured about a 1/4 bottle of white wine with some chicken stock and dropped in some butter. Cover the pot for a few minutes until you see the clams open up and stir them around, making sure all that delicious juice gets inside the clam shells. Note: I used to do this with Mexican chorizo and I think it tastes better with Spanish chorizo because it's more firm and spicy. Serve this with some toasted bread slices so your guests can sop up all that goodness.

Pan-Seared Turbot with Shitake Mushrooms, English Peas & Spatzle
I originally wanted to poach this in olive oil and thyme but I didn't have enough olive oil. Instead we pan-fried the fish in a skillet. I had marinated the fish about an hour before in some olive oil, thyme, pimenton (Spanish chili powder) and S&P. The fish took about 5 minutes on one side over medium heat, just long enough for the skin to crisp up. I have to say, I have never had a more milky/moist fish like turbot. It is fabulous and highly used for its delicate flavor/texture and similarity to halibut. In fact, it's BETTER than halibut. Our moms were flipping out on this fish because they had never heard of it. The combination of the delicate fish, earthy shitakes, crunchy peas and buttery spatzle was perfect.

Farmer's Market Fruit & Cake with Frozen Balsamic Vinegar Cream & Sauternes Syrup
We found this cake for $1 at 99 Ranch and just topped it off with fresh fruit and cold balsamic vinegar cream. This was an excellent way to finish off the seafood dinner.

To my mom, thank you for everything - love you.
And to my Mom #2, I'm glad we're one family now.

Canned Horror - Whole Chicken & Cheeseburger In A Can!

2009-05-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

The Canning industry. A remarkable advancement in food preservation technology developed back in the 1800s. Its help feed impoverished families and starving soldiers.

But where do you draw the line?

Read more about this atrocity here – the photos are. First a chicken is de-feathered, gutted, beheaded and then dunked into a can and placed on the shelves of Vons for god knows how long. Being a chicken is tough.

And yes, you CAN HAZ A CHEEZEBURGER. If you really want.

The Ubiquitous Bacon Wrapped Hot Dog Lady in Los Angeles

2009-04-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

On Monday night, I saw a band at the Silver Lake Lounge. Once the show was over, I headed for the door. But as many of us Angelenos know, around the bar and club areas, there's always something in the air. Before you even step out into the sidewalk, you've been hit with that fabulous aroma of something salty, something being crisped up, some type of animal being immolated – luring you, whoring itself for a mere $3. And then there's that sound that appears to be like one hundred snakes hissing in unison.

Enter the Bacon Wrapped Hot Dog Lady.

This definitely isn't a new thing here, but it is an integral part of Los Angeles' food culture like taco stands and trucks. I had forgotten about this snack long after my college days because I nearly overdosed on a whopping 8 smaller bacon-dogs while in Mexico. I have not eaten one in nearly a decade.

I got it out of my system.

But every now and then, I'll shamelessly stop in front of a lady and ask her how much one dog would cost. Even though I know exactly what they cost, I am really just buying some sniffing time. A cheap high that any midnight civilian would take up, even vegans and vegetarians.

For me, a danger dog represents something of the past. I'm much older and my tastes have changed, but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate its divine simplicity. It is what it is. A long slab of bacon wrapped around some unknown hot dog and sloppily topped with greasy onions and condiments. It's what Gallagher would eat.

Last year on a trip to New York, I met a friend at the Please Don't Tell bar. A simple call from a phone booth in the neighboring Crif Dogs, reveals a "secret door", and you're transplanted in a dark, timeless bar in the East Village. The drinks, they say, are the main attraction, but I think it's really the various hot dogs customized by New York's top chefs that put them in the lead.

I ordered a Wylie Dufresne, being a fan of WD-50. And of course, David Chang's Kimchi Bacon Dog. I had to order the Chang special – I'm from Los Angeles and I adore Korean food. It tasted fine - chopped up Kimchi relish on top of a neatly wrapped bacon hot dog. But it didn't look right... it was too clean. There was no oil on the bun from the Danger Dog Lady's fingers. No half charred onions. No special aioli created from the mayo & grease.

I may not eat one of these again because of its threat to my health, but I hope these ladies continue to serve their street delicacies. I'd be very sad if the health department ever deleted them from Los Angeles' food scene – it'd be a true loss of culture.

Do YOU crave the Danger Dog? Thanks for reading.

Chicago, 2008 - The Tasty, Windy City Part One

2009-04-28T00:06:00.000-07:00

Passionate Eater of San Francisco, and for a short while of New Orleans, recently went to Chicago on an exhaustive hunt for Chicago's favorite foods: hot dogs, deep dish pizza and Italian beef dip sandwiches. I recommended a few places to her that I had tried out myself. She reminded me that I was long overdue on my posting as well – one year ago! During that time, I was overwhelmed with work and how I was going to propose to my then-girlfriend-now-wife, Jeni, and just never got around to it. And I also owe the tasty experience to a Chicago-based eating-machine from the future named Erik M. – he runs a site called LTH Forum.

So in May, after scouring the streets of New York for good food within two days, I was on my way to O'Hare International Airport in Chicago. With nothing more than a laptop, duffle bag and a well-endowed list of Chicago's finest eateries, I headed in town with freshly cracked knuckles and an empty stomach. I was in Chicago for a shoot and had a few hours to spare before meeting up with my colleagues. 3 hours... hmm. I think I can do 3 places. I headed out by foot towards some places that Erik had listed near my hotel on the North Side of town.

As I walked around, the first thing I thought of was how clean and quiet Chicago was. Streets were swept and even the buildings looked like they just had their Brazilian waxings. It was 11 am and the people had to be tucked into their cubicles. I barely saw any taxis go by! I couldn't complain though because just one week before, it was an offspring-terminating 40 something degrees. According to the people at the hotel, it was a blessing to wear cargo shorts and be oot and aboot.

First on the list was one of three favorite eats of Chicago – pizza. New York pizza vs. Chicago pizza... a constant feud that will go on till the day we die. To be honest with you, the thought of a deep dish pizza PADDED with god knows how many ounces of cheese stops me in my tracks. But it's Chicago, I HAD to try it. Since it was in the area, I went to try Lou Malnati's, a family-owned chain restaurant. I walked in to find quite a few people on their lunch break – most of them at the bar putting down beers. I didn't know what to get so I had the bartender suggest a pizza. Sausage pizza it is! Twenty minutes later, I was still drinking my beer and I didn't have any food. 10 minutes later, I ordered another beer still with no food. Man, this thing better be delicious! I felt like I could run some errands and the pizza would STILL not be ready.

Finally, after 50 minutes, I received my first Chicago-style deep dish pizza. The bartender brought out a steaming black pan with some tongs and set it down. I was taken aback - dough rising on the sides with a chunky, molten-lava tomato sauce. But where was the sausage? Where was the cheese? There seemed to be some hide & seek going on because I didn't see any sausage or cheese. Like a surgeon, I took my knife and started to cut my own slice when I finally saw a piece of sausage. But the weird thing was that it wasn't just a lump, I noticed that it was a LAYER OF SAUSAGE. Whoa. I proceeded with the operation and unveiled cheese underneath the meat. I had no idea that the layers were completely rearranged. I think the best way to describe deep dish pizza is a confused pizza that sort of confused me. I really didn't get it because it was just too much of everything. Too much sauce, too much cheese, too much sausage, too much time. Everything tasted fine and all, but I just couldn't handle more than one slice. Give me chapulines and huitlacoche from Oaxaca, horse sashimi from Japan or snake alcohol from Taiwan instead. I looked over at a man and woman on their third slice and asked for the check. I'm glad I tried it though.

Next, it was time for the second Chicago-favorite, Italian Beef Dip sandwiches. If you're a pedestrian in another city, I suggest reducing the amount of Mapquesting you do because you're bound to attract attention. No one was there to tell me that, as I befriended a young man. Not by choice. I was headed to Mr. Beef for some sandwiches and he decided to join me without an Evite.

Friend: "Hey man, where you going?"
Me: "Mr. Beef."
Friend: "Oh yeah, you should try Portillo's, it's better."
Me: "Okay, I'll do that next."
Friend: "I'll take you there. I'm going that way too."
Me: "Uh okay, sure."
Friend: "Hey, you born here?"
Me: "Yes, why?"
Friend: "Your English is pretty good."
Me: "Thank you."

Normally, I'd be offended, but the ball was in this guy's court. I'm a stranger to the streets of Chicago and walking with my new 6'2" friend. So he goes on and on about how he knows Chicago and pointed out buildings to the left and to the right... blah blah blah. After about 10 minutes of walking, I started to see Mr. Beef at the end of the street. Ok, almost there. Just keep tuning him out. Right when we got to Mr. Beef, his whole demeanor changed. He was no longer the jovial tour guide of Chicago. He told me he had just gotten out of jail not too long ago and was in need of money to get a driver's license. His new threads and jewelry definitely didn't say that though. But I thought I'd help him out anyway.

Friend: "C'mon man. Just a few bucks."
Me: "I have no cash.
Friend: "How you going to eat then?"
Me: "Oh I have enough money to eat. I came here to Chicago just to eat."
Friend: "There's an ATM inside."
Me: "Nope, I can give you half of my Mr. Beef sandwich?"

You should've seen the look on his face – sheer disappointment. He turned around and started walking away. The only thing I could feel was relief but at the same time, concern. Wait a minute... does that mean Mr. Beef sucks???

According to any Chicagoan, there's only one way you should order an IBDS... with hot & sweet peppers and a dip in the pool of au jus. I watched the cook grab a loaf of bread and pull the beef out of a steaming pan. He then carefully tossed in a few chili peppers and wrapped up my sandwich. I unraveled the hot sandwich... smell of sweet bell peppers and beef. And... it wasn't bad... just a bit dry and sparse on the meat. I asked the cook for a small cup of juice and dumped it on the sandwich liberally. There we go. Now it was tasty.

One slice of pizza and a somewhat tasty sandwich, still some room in the oven. So I went to try the other IBDS place that was recommended, Al's #1 Italian Beef. From the outside you wouldn't think much of it but the constant in & out of customers is promising. I was greeted by a nice young man and looking at me, he knew I wasn't from here. At least he wasn't so blunt.

Al's: "You visiting from out of town?"
Me: "Yeah. Here to try what I hear is one of Chicago's best."
Al's: "Well welcome to Chicago. You're in the right place."
Me: "What do I get?"
Al's: "Beef with sweet & hot peppers, dipped."
Me: "There we go."
Al's: "You'll need some fries, too."
Me: "Sounds good."

Contrary to Mr. Beef, there was actually action here. Big sandwich, big fries and big drink – Chicago people going to town without going out of town. I watched the Chicago sandwich routine in action once more. But this time, the guy took it to the next level. After adding the meat and hot & sweet peppers, he grabbed the sandwich with a pair of tongs and baptized my very own sandwich in the holy goodness that is beef juice. It was a beautiful ritual that only a pig like me would appreciate. My sandwich was drenched. I unraveled the parchment paper and grabbed that soggy sandwich. One bite in, and I now understood why Chicagoans stood so proudly behind that juicy sandwich. I don't care much for The Hat or Philipe's and easily put Al's ahead of them all. Next time I go back, I'll definitely do a comparison like Passionate Eater, who passionately gobbled through hot dogs, IBDS and pizza. Finishing the sandwich off, I looked at my wet hands sprinkled with chili seeds and beef crumbs. The guy that took my order looked at me and didn't need to ask whether I enjoyed it or not. He knew.

I walked back and twice I did U-turns back towards Al's but changed my mind because my hotel room didn't have a fridge to store IBDS. Damn. I promised my stomach that I would treat him once more to a tasty IBDS before I left. He said 'you better'.

Thanks for reading. Part Two coming next.

Check out Passionate Eater's posting on Italian Beef Dip Sandwiches, deep dish pizzas and also an old school posting on the first time meeting her and her husband.

The Gift of Gluttony

2009-04-27T08:53:00.000-07:00

Before you start salivating over the chicken drumsticks and braised pork belly, know that this is unfortunately, inedible. Give the gift that says "You're a computer dork and you're a pig" at the same time. I'd pick the pork belly one because of the current Swine Flu. Until it's safe to eat pork again, I'll enjoy the taste of plastic. You can find these strange products here.

Leaving for Las Vegas

2009-04-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Mexico City
June 8th, 2008

I woke up in the morning and saw Jeni next to me staring at her hand. As she turned her palm, shiny rays of light reflected off of it, and I could see her smile fluctuating from small to big. Last night, was a very special and emotional moment for us. It was her birthday, and also the day I got down on one knee, hands out and head up... asking for her hand in marriage. In a matter of 2.5 years, we went from strangers, food blog acquaintances, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance/fiancee. When we got back to Los Angeles, we experienced a total high that could only be felt when you know you've found the one for yourself. But then, we were faced with the daunting task of planning our wedding. I prayed for this day for a long time, but I dreaded the emotional/physical aspect of it. I did not want to see how Bridezilla she could get, nor did she want to see Groomzilla.

We decided that we would not be puppeteered by our parents. My mom being very traditional Chinese, and Jeni's mom being very traditional Vietnamese, we were worried that we would have to celebrate our union at some Chinese banquet restaurant. We did not want to see the red walls, dragon decor or hear the tinkering of chopsticks against the glasses on our special night. It just wasn't us. We definitely wanted to celebrate with our friends and family but we didn't want to start our life together with a 5-digit debt - that's ludicrous. We started looking at galleries in Chinatown and they were just too small. Then we checked out this place North of Chinatown called The Marvimon House, which was simply awesome. It had a New York feel to it, large enough to hold our party and great ambiance. Problem was, the package did not include catering, bartending, valet nor DJ. The thought of the costs was getting to be nauseating and this is exactly what makes/breaks a marriage before it even happens. But we reminded each other that we had to be true to ourselves and make the best out of what we could afford.

On the drive back home, we were quiet. It was obvious that we were depressed and that we would have to give in to a place like Marvimon and spend a good decade of our lives paying off something society has MADE you believe is the right thing to do. Everytime you're at the market, you're stuck in front of a magazine rack of bridal magazines. It was at that moment in the car when things would turn around for us.

Me: "J?"
Jeni: "Yes."
Me: "Let's not do it this way."
Jeni: "What are we going to do?" I paused, ready for her to turn away in dissatisfaction.
Me: "Vegas. Come on. Just us and our family. And we'll have a small reception with our friends when we get back."
Jeni: "Our friends will be bummed."
Me: "No they won't, it's what we want."

Instead of getting high-fived on the face, Jeni's face glowed with a smile and I knew it was meant to be. Hey, her mom did it that way, no way she could contest. We told our parents the same night and they were stoked for us, especially for not having to fork out mass amounts of money for a 10-hour day.

No no no, not in a casino with a singing Elvis and red carpet. Let me tell you how easy this was. We looked around a few casinos and found MGM to offer the best packages and was highly regarded on The Knot, a site for bridezillas of all shapes and sizes. Ok done. Where do we eat? Well, MGM has some of the most gourmet restaurants on the Strip including Joel Robuchon. Not surprisingly, this was the toughest part of our decision to get married in Vegas. We settled on Craft Steak since we had heard a lot of good things about it – plus we're fans of Collicchio's simple and homey style of cooking. And within a week, everything was set. We did all of this without getting into a single argument.

On Thanksgiving, instead of heading over to my aunt's for the 25th consecutive gravy fest, we were driving on the I-15 towards Las Vegas. My mom rode with us, Jeni's family in another car and my dad/sister/nephew in another car. This would also be the first time our parents would meet one another, so there was a bit of nervousness. But everything went smoothly and a few hours later, we found ourselves filling out forms in a sterile courthouse in Nevada. Good 'ol MGM included a limo driver that would take us to apply for the marriage certificate. What was funny was that there were NO PENS, only pencils with erasers on them. I guess people do realize things as their filling out the forms... like how drunk they really are. But we didn't use the eraser once.

This lady behind the counter was NOT happy about working on Gravy Day. We paid our $50 and we were out of there... halfway married. We hugged our parents and headed back to the casino for dinner. We didn't end up staying too late because tomorrow would be the big day.

Besides the fact that this was our wedding day, Las Vegas is always an excuse to do things you wouldn't normally do. Drink till 8 am, hit on a 20 in Black Jack, or like spend $100+ on BREAKFAST. Only one thing came to mind for breakfast, the lovely Bouchon by Thomas Keller. I've eaten here at least 3 times and have never been unsatisfied. Cheers. I started with some white wine and a mimosa for Jeni.

Various Oysters
Cheers. I started with some white wine and a mimosa for Jeni. By the time these guys came out, I think we were already happy due to zero food in our stomach. But nothing a few Malpeques and Kumamotos couldn't do for you.

Seared Scallops with Mornay Sauce
I wish seared scallops would just grow on trees. It'd make life a lot easier for me if I could simply pluck these tasty bastards and place them in a bucket for later consumption. These were served with a mornay sauce which is made of heavy cream, gruyere cheese and parmesan cheese. This is fabulous.

Thomas Keller's Bacon
Most places when you ask for a side of bacon will give you 3 measly pieces. Not Mr. Keller though. At $5-6 you're going to get what you're paying for... a plate of crisp pieces. These were fried beautifully but flat on taste. That's ok Mr. Keller, no need to flog yourself.

Sourdough Pancakes
Oh my. Sourdough + Pancakes = one happy, buzzed bride. I don't know what else to say but these are just done perfectly.

We staggered out of Bouchon with a nice buzz and jolly belly. While Jeni went to get ready at the salon downstairs, I went down to the tables and played some tables. When I gamble, there's no point in thinking about how I would play a hand... I might as well just walk up to the tables, give them mymoney and say "Thank you, that was a lot of fun." And walk away.

It was now 3 pm, with under two hours before our ceremony would take place downstairs. There was one thing we didn't do before leaving for Las Vegas... informing our friends. As a surprise, we sent everyone announcement cards a day before we left. We laughed at the various reactions people would have but again, this is what we wanted to do. And they would be more than happy for us. And slowly, the texts and facebook comments started rolling in haha.

"Very sneaky."
"So you guys, to do this."
"Bastards."
"I would so be there in Vegas right now."

Its customary for the groom to not see the bride all day, but someone had to photograph her getting ready. I could tell she was excited yet relaxed – we were both very happy. 4:30 pm, we headed down to meet our families.

And here is my second love of my life, standing in at 3' something and 40+ pounds, my nephew Taylor. He was dressed adorably in a shirt, vest and pants. He had no idea what we were doing and seemed to be more involved with his pack of chocolate Pocky.

There was a total of 10 people there, in a room that could hold 60. I admit, it was very plain, but nothing could be more special than having our parents and siblings there. I spoke with the officiant for a few minutes about the procedure and took my place at the front of the altar. I looked at my family, and they smiled back in approval for everything we had chosen to do. And suddenly, the music started to play. I could see two silhouettes behind the frosted doors as they opened. There was Jeni with her arm locked with her dads. She immediately turned red and started to cry as her dad kissed her on the cheek. I took her hand and wiped her tear away as we faced the offficiant.

I really can't remember what was said or what we had to repeat, but I just remembered how beautiful she looked. I do remember hearing... "you may kiss the bride". Within 15 minutes, we were done. It was easy and most importantly, special to us. We headed up back to the room with the family and popped some champagne.

Besides staying at the hotel we would have the ceremony in, why not make it even easier by selecting a restaurant from their fancy list of places to dine at. We choose Craft Steak because it had the best price and offered a family-style meal.

Yes, the food was simple and tasty as it looked. Everyone enjoyed the meal.

To this day, I still would not change the way we did things. It was our night and we made a promise to do as we pleased. And everything went well. I can't tell you how many of my guys friends now hate me and envy an understanding wife like Jeni. Wedding in Las Vegas. The End.

Back in Los Angeles, we now had only two months to plan our wedding party because we wanted it to happen right after our Honeymoon in Brazil and Argentina. Good things happen when you let creativity flow in. With the help of Jeni's brother, Jeremy, the three of us began collaborating on our own... not with some gallery owner who got a money boner when you said the "w" word. He knew a friend who ran a small design shop in Chinatown who referred us to Remy's On Temple, a quaint gallery in Filipinotown/Echo Park. The place had everything we wanted, space, back area and an ambiance that matched our taste for an urban lifestyle. Not to mention, within our budget. Done.

Now what do we eat? The gallery space was meant for standing and walking, not sit-down tables. To stay true to what we loved, and what everyone else loved, we decided to hire a taco lady. We tried Taco Arizas, where we had our first date, the popular Taco Zone on Alvarado/Sunset and even a random taco shop. But I had remembered my coworker hiring a place in Highland Park called My Taco. We went there for a tasting and the daughter of the family was very impressive. She had printed us a folder with an estimate and had her t's crossed and i's dotted. The food, of course, was done super well. The recipes are from her parents and brother, who is now a line cook at one of our favorite restaurants in Glendale, Palate. Done.

To cut down on costs, I designed the invitations, Jeremy would DJ and Jeni would take care of any decorations. I had also finished taking some motion design classes and this came in time for creating a slideshow. Done.

For decorations, she used her invaluable skills from working at Sanrio in high school to come up with cute things I could never even conjure up. Since it was a gallery, we needed to have some art work up but at the time, the curator only had this creepy series on dolls that have undergone some Frankenstein surgery. We were creeped out. And again, we decided to showcase what Jeni and I were about... food. We simply printed out our favorites and spent a night glueing/cutting them up. Done.

Photography? No problem. I remembered that my coworker, who also has a food blog, had a great eye. Check out her posting on visiting Cuba. Done.

On the day of the wedding party, we got up early to do final decorations in the gallery. I hung up the photos, Jeremy set up his turntables and Jeni ran around like a crazy bride cussing out everyone. Just kidding, she was calm as ever. And before we knew it, it was 8 pm – time to party.

I can't tell you how fast time passes by. You have an average of 2 mins to chat with people and it's exhausting. I think I ate one taco the whole night. After the party was over, Jeni, Jeremy and I headed over to Ruen Pair in Thai Town for some noodle remedying. We were all exhausted from a long week of running around. But the three of us made things happen and its exactly what we wanted. A successful party with no debt. Done. Thanks for reading. Brazil and Argentina are coming up soon.

Read Jeni's posting on our wedding.

Remy's On Temple
2126 W. Temple Street
Los Angeles, CA 90026
(213) 484-2884
Contact: Jonathan

My Taco (Highland Park)
6300 York Blvd. Suite 4
Los Angeles, CA 90042
(323) 256-2698
Contact: Vanessa

Banh Cuon - Vietnamese Rolled Rice Crepes

2009-04-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

When I was commuting for the nearly 2 years to work in the Marina area, I made a point to stop over Chinatown for the Phu Huong roach coach (Alpine & Spring), a standard catering truck run by three very nice siblings – two brothers and a sister. They offered goodies such as Vietnamese sandwiches (banh mi), charbroiled pork noodles (bun thit nuong), dried shrimp steamed rice cakes (banh beo), egg rolls (cha gio), charbroiled cured pork meatballs (nem nuong) and my favorite, fried Vietnamese sausage (cha chien). Though not the best representation of Vietnamese food, I loved the concept of one of my favorite foods served from a truck – just like tacos and Kogi BBQ. I know sooner or later, someone will be taking it back to Vietnam's true roots by setting up tiny plastic chairs and wooden tables and serving piping hot pho right out of a roach coach. What a beautiful thing.

I had come here so often that I had the guy's number on my phone. If I wanted a banh mi, I would simply call him 10 minutes before and do a drive by transaction. "Extra Maggi please, com ung!" But what I enjoyed most out of here was something my father first introduced banh cuon to me back in the late 80s, when the same truck was owned by another generation of Vietnamese people. I gladly chose this over a gross Happy Meal.

I had also come here so often that I knew that the purveyor of the banh cuon was always late or super lazy. Sometimes they'd be there at 8:45 am. Sometimes 9:45 am. Sometimes, not at all. This inconsistency drove me nuts as it STILL continues after 6 years. You would think this manufacturer gets the idea by now. NOPE. It was time to make it at home.

The recipes are adapted from Andrea Nguyen's Into the Vietnamese Kitchen, a book I really enjoy reading. Nguyen's recipe calls for prepartion in a skillet or pan. The best way to have these is through steaming, but not everyone has that equipment or the BTU's to do this. Watch it being made.

(1) Put the dried wood ear mushrooms in a bowl of warm water. If you can find fresh mushrooms, then avoid this process of reconstituting the dried version. Should take under 7 minutes. Dry and mince it up. Same with shallots. If you like garlic, feel free to add a clove.

(2) Sauté the shallots for a minute or two, then add ground pork with a little S&P. Add fish sauce to taste and sugar to balance out the salinity. This should take no longer than 5 mins. You don't want to overcook this as you will be letting it sit out to rest.

(3) Make a well in a bowl with all the flour and starches. Pour the water into the well slowly, using your other hand to slowly mix in the flour starting from the center, then outwards. You should get a mixture that is watery – it should not be goopy like pancake batter.

(4) In order to make this less frustrating, have a separate chopping board glazed lightly with oil on it ready. This is a lot of work as it took me at least 8 crepes to get it somewhat 'right'. Add a little oil into your pan on low-medium heat, and add about 2 tbsp. of the batter. Slowly swirl the batter around in a circle so that all of the mixture is being cooked. When it stops moving around in the pan, they are being cooked. Then cover the pan with a lid and let it steam for about 1-2 mins. You know you're ready when you can peel the edges of the crepe off, and you don't want to overfry this – it's supposed to be smooth in texture and resemble something steamed. Here's a trick to make your life a little easier. Using the end of a wooden spatula, bang the sides of the pot from the outside and see if the crepe shifts easily. This method prevents any tearing that may happen from using your fingers to grab the crepe.

(5) This is the hardest part. If you watched the video, you saw the lady geniusly use chopsticks to hoist the crepe over to a cutting board. Unfortunately, we are not in Vietnam. If you flip the pot over directly, you may not get a clean fall. You kind of have to come in at an angle, like from 3pm to 7-8pm. Now you'll know why it took me a good 8 times.

(6) This is the easy part. Refer to my egg roll diagram. It's pretty much the same, only the crepe is more delicate. When you do the main rolling, any extraneous parts, you can simply cut off or tuck underneath the crepe for aesthetics. The 'belly' of the crepe should be exposed, not the wrinkly 80 year old grandma skin.

(7) Serve with dipping sauce, boiled/steamed bean sprouts, fresh cilantro and fried shallots.

For this recipe, I found myself adding a little more water to dilute the batter as I tasted too much flour/starch. Otherwise, the recipe is very basic and can be done with patience. No holes in the kitchen walls this time. It tastes good but still doesn't beat the original steamed version.

***Note: The Phu Huong truck is now owned by new people, but they are actually offering more store, including Chiu Chow food like Fried Turnip Cakes with Eggs. Good when fresh, not under saran-wrap.

Thanks for reading.

Porchestra - A Symphony of Swine

2009-04-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Last week, gluttony was in effect. We had some guests over to film a documentary they are working on based on food of course. Instead of meeting at a restaurant, we invited them over for dinner. We figured it would be most organic and comforting for us to do this at home, since we enjoy cooking. Subject of the dinner was my favorite meat: pork. I was stoked to do a whole dinner based on one theme. It was quite interesting running back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, answering questions and cooking. I felt like a Jamaican with 9 jobs.

For an animal that spends most of its days wallowing in mud, taking in the sun with no source of employment, you would regard the pig as a fruitless mass. But, man, it's lovely how much good food is yielded from this animal.

Crispy Braised Pork Bellies with Cannellini Beans & Quail Egg
With a box of Cracker Jacks, you never know what surprise gift you'll receive. Same thing applies when you buy a package of pork bellies... with the inclusion of fully intact nipples. When you open a package of pork bellies and see this, you can't help but stop in your tracks and take a closer look. The resemblance between pork flesh and human flesh can be somewhat uncanny if you're a Caucasian male haha. But do the courteous thing and grab some scissors for your guests. There's nothing more jarring than seeing a braised nipple. Jeni joked that this could be the new appetizer of haute dining as long as you come up with a new name like... Pork Pez?

There's nothing I like cooking more with than my Le Creuset dutch oven that I got for a freaking steal at Tuesday Morning many years back. These pots are supposed to last longer than your lifetime, as I hope my grandchildren will find a good use for it besides heating up Prego sauce or making Korean Kimchi ramen. These pots can handle 550° in the oven and will heat your food evenly. I've never made a bad braised dish with this pot. Anyway, I did a slow 200° braise for 3-4 hours for the pork belly using the common ingredients – mire poix, chicken stock, bay leaves, thyme, rosemary, salt and peppercorns. I also included my new fave chili pepper... aji, which is an Argentine spice used for things like empanadas.

Pork doesn't taste good for no reason. After the braise, you'll want to refridgerate it overnight. Remove the fat once it has coagulated. Or don't. *impish grin*

I've been dying to fry a quail egg sunny-side up and apply it to some dish. This couldn't be a more perfect dish to make it with. It's just as enjoyable raw as it is cooked. I am trying really really really hard not to use the "c" word so i'll misspell it. Key-yoot.

Before serving the braised pork belly, I seared it fat-side down in a skillet for a good 7-10 mins so that it would crisp up a little. For the cannellini beans, I sautéed them with a little butter, cinnamon, red apples and chicken broth. Although a more hearty dish, it made sense to my stomach.

Bacon-Fat Seared Scallops & Shrimp with Greens
As I cooked the scallops and shrimp, I forgot that I had cooked off all the bacon for something you'll see in a bit. One thing I always do, JUST IN CASE, is reserve the bacon fat as you'll never know what you'll be needing it for. I added a few tablespoons of it to the skillet and the oil started popping as though it was an applause for a good deed done by me.

Mmm, bacon-flavored seafood. There's something so wrong about pairing two different animals from surf and turf, but yet it tastes so right. How would you like to know that your destiny puts you in a skillet with a pig, shrimp and vegetables? Weird.

To achieve super-green vegetables, according to Chef Thomas Keller, you have to get your watering boiling super high and adding a LOT of salt to the water. I think for these asparagus spears, I probably dumped in one huge handful. You won't taste too much salt afterwards because you have to shock the vegetables in ice water, which also rinses the salt for you.

Zuni Cafe House-Cured Pork Chops with Prosciutto Asparagus and Creme Fraiche Mustard
Probably one of our top five cookbooks, the pork chops from Zuni Cafe are killer – and very simple to cure.

For 4 pork chops (10 to 11z each and 1-1/4" thick), or 2 tenderloins (about 1 pound each) A few crumbled bay leaves dried chiles crushed juniper berries (optional) 5 cups room temp. water 6 tbsp. sugar 3 tbsp. salt (a little more if using kosher salt)

Pat these guys dry after marinating for 2 days and sear them on high heat in a skillet about 3-4 minutes each side, depending on the thickness. For the asparagus, simply sauté them in a little butter, olive oil and S&P. Wrap some prosciutto around a bunch of spears and top it with some of the creme fraiche & mustard if you like. To make the sauce, simply add whole grain mustard to some creme fraiche with S&P to taste and some lemon juice. I added a little smoked paprika and ají chili pepper to it. So simple and good.

Scoops' Bacon-Infused Salt & Caramel Ice Cream
Well Tai Kim didn't actually offer that flavor that day, so we just made our own bacon ice cream for dessert. Jeni asked Mr. Kim what would go best with bacon and he suggested his Salt & Caramel. I fried some bacon and soaked up all the fat with paper towels. I then cut the bacon into small bits and threw it in the ice cream. Mixed it around and froze it again. My god this was so good. I felt guilty, but it was fabulous - especially with the bacon garnish ha.

After about 4 hours of eating and talking about food, we had concluded our evening. Hopefully our filmmaker friends knew that we didn't 'act' or anything because this what a usual dinner party at our place entails. Sometimes, we get people passed out on the couch like Thanksgiving.

A few days later, we forgot that we were cooking Easter lunch. Easter means one thing... ham. And ham means more pork consumption for us. Sure, why not. We had thought about doing an all-rabbit meal but it would have been too expensive. Maybe even too cruel ha.

We lucked out and found a 9-lb Farmer John ham for only SIX DOLLARS at Ralph's. Score.

Jeni found a great recipe off Epicurious for the glaze. I highly recommend it if you want to veer away from the standard pineapple slice, red cherry and clove-style ham that just feels soooooo antiquated. I can see that on the cover of every food magazine during the 80s. Ugh.

Jeni has been on a baking frenzy and produced these tasty pastries from Tartine Bakery. This was definitely an overload on pork and hope everyone had a good Easter. Thanks for reading.

Rolyier Tarragon Soda - The Armenian Thirstquencher?

2009-04-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

I was at my favorite Middle Eastern market, Super King near Eagle Rock, on Saturday buying groceries for our Easter lunch and came across this lovely bottle of pop. Anyone know how this tastes?! Tarragon sounds safe compared to the many other ethnic variations of flavored-soda that could show up on the shelves. How about Durian soda? Carbonated fish sauce punch? Chapulines Juice?

Pho Ga - Vietnamese Chicken Noodle Soup Recipe

2009-04-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

I think some of the most difficult dilemmas in my life take place in a Vietnamese restaurant. Why does everything on the menu have to be so freaking tasty. I have tried a lot of things, but always stick to the standard pho. Just when I tell the server that I want something tasty like charbroiled pork over noodles (bun thit nuong), I end up retracting my order and getting the eye from the server. I'm just not able to shy away from it, like a needy little kid. And like most cooks with a passion for noodles, I've attempted to make my own beef pho for pride and merit. $40 and 6-8 hours later, I finally made my first soup. It tasted fine, but there was something missing, as there always seems to be with home-cooked food. Is it the boatload of MSG that goes into it? Is it the pair of chopsticks and soup spoon that need a pre-rinse with tea? Maybe the server's thumb that always seems to penetrate the scalding hot soup? Whether or not any of these factors actually affect the taste of a soup, it's just not the same. After that last time, I decided it would be less of a headache if I just coughed up a whopping $5.25 for a solid bowl of pho at Pho Filet in South El Monte or Pho Thanh Lich in Little Saigon – two places that I love at the moment.

But all of a sudden, I missed making soup from scratch. Something fast and something cheap. Something that doesn't hog up all the space in my Le Creuset. And Vietnamese chicken noodle soup (pho ga) comes to mind. How expensive was it to make 6-8 bowls? $10, if you already have the spices! Everyone has found their ideal beef pho, as the best ones seem to be very consistent. The slightest decrease in the amount of MSG and spices used can trigger off the food snobbiness. But with pho ga, as I've learned, there really isn't a standard, consistent taste – it's comfort food . With that in mind, you'll be happy to know that pho ga is not difficult to cook and you're free to get creative with it.

There is nothing more boring than chicken breast – dark meat for president. Instead of using chicken breast, I bought leg meat because it has more flavor. If you have to have breast meat, cut that thing in half, cross-section style – you'll be a much happier eater. Let's do this.

Shower Time
(1) Place all the chicken bones in a large pot filled with cold water. Bring to a boil, and let it roll vigorously for 10 minutes to really force out the impurities. Dump bones out into sink and make sure you rinse all the chicken bones. Set aside.

Get Toasty
(2) If you skip this next step, you're missing the whole point of Vietnamese noodle soup. If you want your pho to compete with places on the Westside and Chinatown, then don't toast your spices – because they seriously can't seem to do things right. For this recipe, I used the following spice measurement, add more as needed:

10-12 star anise
2-2.5 tbsp. coriander seeds
1 tbsp. fennel seeds
1 whole cinnamon stick
8-10 cloves

This will yield a very strong anise and clove aroma. So cut down to half or completely omit ingredients if you're not fond of those flavors – I love it. Toast these in a dry pan on low heat for 2-3 minutes, careful not to burn the spices. When the aroma is apparent, turn off the heat and remove the spices from the pan. Tie up the spices in some cheesecloth and string.

Campfire Time
(3) You'll be toasting the ginger and onions now, to wake up the flavors. Over the stove burner, turn it on high. Using tongs, set the onions and ginger on the burners. For the onions, I usually peel away the outer skin because I really want to punish those onions and make them sweat. Same applies to the ginger. You don't have to evenly char them, 60-75% is fine. Over cold water, remove any of the blackened parts.

Hot Tub
(4) Add the bones, spices, onions, ginger, whole bulb of garlic (cross-sectioned to reveal the cloves of garlic) into the pot and fill it up with cold water. Bring to a boil and add some fish sauce to taste. The fish sauce is used to flavor the soup, not be the sole source of salinity. You should have a delicate hint of fish sauce. Once you've brought it to a boil, turn down the heat to a simmer. Add a 1"-1.5" piece of rock sugar. This is crucial in giving pho that gentle sweetness. Regular sugar would be too harsh.

Dinner Time
(5) After about 2 hours, you should test out your soup once more to dot the i's and cross the t's. After simmering for so long, you may need to add more water incase it becomes salty. Scoop out any impurities and get your scallions, green onions, white onions and herbs ready. Banh pho noodles are typically used (I like the Kim Tar brand but this one is good as well.) and I've had versions with thicker rice noodles used in hu tieu. To cook the noodles, bring some water to a boil and drop the noodles in for no more than FIVE SECONDS for al dente noodles. Serve with piping hot soup and a headband if you get worked up like I do when I eat noodles.

Jeni and I were really happy that this turned out well. It was very simple and to tell you the truth, I don't think you can really F this up. What I might do differently is reduce the amount of cloves – too strong. And I may actually use chicken breast versus leg meat because you need to have some texture – my leg meat was tasty, but obliterated from the simmering of course. And also, pho ga is best eaten the day you make it. The refridgeration process sucks the life out of the herbs. I left the spice bag in the soup and that made the clove aroma even stronger. Bleh. Enjoy and thanks for reading.

Palate, Glendale - Sunday Brunch with Cut Chemist & DJ Octavio Becerra

2009-04-04T21:11:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday, we were invited by our wine connoisseur friend MM for a Sunday Brunch at Palate. He first told us about Palate back in July and since then, I think we've been there at least a dozen times. Besides Chef Octavio Becerra's usual assortment of fine California cuisine dishes and extensive list of wine, he started serving up delicious vinyl on Sundays. This time, with a super special guest dj... Cut Chemist of Jurassic 5 and Ozomatli. At exactly 12 pm, the wine started flowing. 1 minute earlier and we'd be in the alchi category.

How many Chefs out there know how to go back and forth between cooking and spinning?

Bottles and bottles later, the Chemist decides to show up around 4 pm, relieving both Chef and his sommelier, who was also in the rotation. They all spun soul/funk.

For Sunday Brunch, one dish is featured for $12 along with a small selection of appetizers and his mason jars, which he is known for. Last time I ate at Palate, I fell in love with his pork trotter dish... an interestingly shaped 'sausage' filled with ground pork feet and pork shoulder. I could eat TWO of them. I asked Chef he had any left in the kitchen, but offered up this instead. Moist and flavorful, what else can you ask for with a braised dish.

After speaking at a UCLA conference that same week, Chef Becerra invited Kogi BBQ's Roy Choi to come by and hang out. He along with Jonathan Gold and Anthony Bourdain were on the same panel. As Roy waited for his food, he perused Becerra's library for some literature.

Jeni ordered the Braised Oxtail which was simply awesome. Marinated in soy sauce and mirin. About 6 hours later, we found ourselves still drinking and munching on food. I love the idea of a Sunday Brunch, but it's super easy to lose your sense of time, as well as your mind. Sunday Suppers, every Sunday. Thanks for reading.

Jeni's posting on Sunday Brunch.

A Taco Tour with Roy Choi of Kogi BBQ

2009-03-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

About 8 months ago, Roy Choi was situated in a restaurant he had helped built in Santa Monica. He was at a standstill and pondering his next move in life, like a chess player. He had always had ambitions in opening a restaurant that would serve Korean-fusion food, but that would take years to achieve. It wasn't until one day when his old friend Mark Maguera called him with a proposition he couldn't refuse. One that would make him the executive chef, serving Korean-style tacos – a Korean homage to one of Los Angeles' favorite foods. At first it seemed like a daydream, but after a few days, Choi knew that Maguera was serious about this. On the day of his departure, Roy found himself leaving the doors of a restaurant and right into another one that had four wheels. They were offered a chance to test-drive their concept in a vending truck for two free months. With recipes tested, cooks hired and the financiers behind them with full support, Choi literally got behind the wheel of their taco truck, named Kogi BBQ, and hit the streets of Taco Town, Los Angeles. Shortly after the first day, they knew this would be a tough endeavor. For weeks they didn't sell one taco. They were heckled by locals and even threatened by gangs to leave the turf. But with patience, determination and a little bird that loved to tweet her song, a new type of business emerged, in the form of a Korean-run taco truck. And pretty soon, they found themselves overwhelmed by crowds of 800 in Rosemead and Torrance.

I received an email from Alice, Kogi's PR-superstar, saying that both she and Chef Roy really enjoyed the exhaustive taco stand and table posting from February. I thought it'd be fun to invite them on a tour and just talk food. After a few emails, we decided to meet up on the day Chef Roy would be speaking at UCLA with Jonathan Gold, Octavio Becerra of Palate and my favorite, Anthony Bourdain. I thought Roy and Alice could use a break from the aroma of soy sauce, sesame oil and chili paste and oh yeah, Jeni and I would get to try their tacos too. We also decided to invite rising-comedian Aziz Ansari of MTV's Human Giant and NBC's Parks & Recreation along on the journey. He apparently, is a big fan of Kogi BBQ (2nd photo), amongst many other celebrities. Here's my favorite Aziz Ansari skit.

We headed out to the Eagle Rock area off Eagle Rock Blvd. and York Blvd, where Kogi BBQ was stationed that night. I had driven a good 50+ times into this area because of my taco foraging and was quite familiar with my surroundings. I saw the usual Leo's and Rambo's taco trucks, with their spray-painted murals, and continued going north, not really knowing where Kogi BBQ lay their nest. I asked my friend Tyson, "Where is that truck?" He replied, "Oh, you'll know when you're at Kogi BBQ." And all of a sudden, without second guessing, we had arrived – a jarring 200+ people waiting in line on a Thursday night around a corner in Eagle Rock . We parked and started walking.

We had parked far enough, not being able to see the truck. All we could hear was the light chattering of people in line. We then cut behind a Starbucks towards the end of the taco line and within seconds, we smelled what could only be Korean BBQ. The sweet, smoky, charred aroma of meat being spanked by a hot metal grill. It was beauty. My brain was confused... was this a Mexican taco or was this a Korean BBQ restaurant – what was this mysterious harmony that has got people talking. I had trained my brain into searching for any vending truck or stand with clamp lamps, but the Kogi BBQ truck just didn't register. "Both," I said to myself.

We got to the end of the line and I simply could not believe the amount of people waiting around. The majority of the crowd was Asian, 22-26 years old, with the occasional sprinkle of Caucasian and Latino people – there was some diversity. Everyone was huddled around their own cohort, chatting away – doing anything to make time pass before it was time to eat. I could hear a girl saying that she couldn't wait to get a burrito. I called Aziz and told him, "this is ridiculous. I'm not waiting in this line." We're supposed to leave in 15 mins. But hey, six-pack and plastic cups to the rescue. Aziz called back and told us to meet him in front of the truck, and sure enough we found him there with his group.

Now we were in front of the truck and all I could smell was that deliciousness that is Kogi BBQ. I already knew it was going to taste really nice. You walk into Manna Korean BBQ, and you know it's not going to be good. You walk into Park's BBQ and you know you've come to the right place. I could see Roy hustling and bustling inside. There must've been like 5-6 people in the heart of the truck. One wrong move or sudden jerk, could mean someone really injuring themselves. I saw Aziz talking to Roy and I went to introduce myself. Firm handshake, a smile and a question, "Do you want some tacos?" Yes, please.

Within 3 minutes, he yelled at my name for the pickup. With both hands out, he passed on the little treasures – two, tiny tacos filled with steaming meat and shiny garnishing. I took a bite out of the kalbi (short rib) taco first and it was definitely good. The sweetness of the meat, light touch of sesame oil and the sour bite of the vinaigrette on a toasted corn tortilla somehow made sense. The pork version was also very good. I didn't think of this as a taco but more a delicious creation by Chef Roy, like Josef Ceteno's "Baco". The term "taco" is merely used to lure you to the truck, and from there, you're at a point of no return.

About 15 minutes later, with hands reeking of dried corn and Korean BBQ, we wrangled everyone and headed out. Previously, we had done a larger party taco hunt with 11-12 cars on my birthday and it worked out as smoothly as a funeral procession minus the motorcade police. This time, it was 3 cars and much easier to manage. Me in the front, with Roy and Aziz in the caboose.

La Estrella Taco Truck (York Blvd. & Avenue 54)
This is usually my first stop when entering Highland Park's Taco Town. Here, they are known for their juicy carnitas and al pastor. Of all the stands and trucks I've been to, I have to say they make a killer salsa roja (red sauce) that is smoky, rich, tomatoey and the perfect touch to tender pieces of meat. The tacos here are expensive, meaning $.25 more than the usual $1 you'll pay out here, but you get a LARGE, WELL-ENDOWED taco. Very food porny. There is a truck west of here called El Pique and no matter how many times I try to give them business, I find myself doing a U-turn back to La Estrella – which is one of ER/HP's favorite trucks. I recommend carnitas, al pastor, cabeza and lengua. They have two other trucks and one actual restaurant – choose your poison.

York Blvd. & Nolden St.

Exactly 4 blocks east of La Estrella is a bunch of nice guys from East LA that park at Serrano's Auto Repair. I know this place is authentic because I get stared at here and they freak out when I order in Spanish.

I lost my buche virginity here and never order anything else but the buche. So that's what I suggested to our group of 14, more than half were buche virgins. I almost shed a tear when everyone told me that this was very delicious. Besides the buche, I recommend the cabeza, lengua and on this night, the al pastor hit a home run. Tip on al pastor: this is a meat that should never be served dry – strictly illegal. It should look pasty and juicy. If it even looks charred, don't even bother. You can try asking for a fresh cut off the spit but the taquero could take offense. Try your tacos with the curtido (pickled vegetables) with habanero.

My friend Tyson and Aziz's cousin going in for a kill.

Aziz Ansari plugging his new NBC show, Parks and Recreation that airs on
Thursday, April 9th. Written by two writers from The Office. How was that Aziz?

Taco hopping is not just a meal, it's a sport. And in almost all sports, you need a half-time to relax, re-strategize and swap out a new, dry jock strap. That's why I always head to my favorite watering hole in Los Angeles for some fine, craft beer – The Verdugo. If you don't know what to order, you're going to get a Stella Artois. Also, if you've heard of the new Boho Restaurant, the guys from The Verdugo provide the delicious beer there. Two beers later, everyone was still hungry and we headed out.

The Verdugo bar guys also have a friend of theirs setting up shop right outside. To me, this is a blast to the past – to a time I used to be out till 3-4 am in a sloppy state. I am really not sure how I was able to put two of these into my stomach. It looks like three hot dogs in a gutter/sewer. Aye, say no to Danger Dogs.

We then drove to the taco stand by the Verdugo bar on Verdugo & Avenue 31. These guys moved up to my top three instantly with their friendly service and $.80 tacos. I knew they weren't open on Thursdays but had to try anyway. And sure enough, they were there, but already taking down their stand. Frown.

It was now almost 12 am and there one last taco stand effort, my favorite, Fletcher and Larga in Glassell Park. Nope, not there either. Taco Zone it is. But even Taco Zone tricked us! Instead of parking in front of Vons, they parked even further south by the Rite Aid. Messing with my stomach!

Taco Zone (Alvarado & Vons)

You can always count on this truck to be here, unless it's catering a big event, like at the LACMA or MOCA. This is almost like the white guy's version of Kogi BBQ, drawing crowds as big as 30 at a time. We had first heard of this place from Jeni's old neighbor and Tokyo Astro Girl's husband, who swore by Taco Zone. But when I got here, I found it to be merely average – a place for SL/EP hipsters to congregate and sober up. The thing about Taco Zone is that you have to go there early to get the tastier meats. When I've eaten here before 12 am, I get decent stuff and I'm content - especially the suadero (brisket). But after 12 am, I get the charred, nasty bits that, once upon a time, came from an animal. It seems the owner does not care to refresh her supply. She knows very well that the people are inebriated haha.

So what do I do at Taco Zone after 12 am? The answer is simple, ask for a mulita. For $.25 more ($1.50 total), you can Optimus Prime your taco with charred meat into one with cheese and extra tortilla. Almost like a mini, round quesadilla. And it is good. You know sometimes you just want a few bites of a quesadilla but don't want a tumor, this is the answer.

Hand modeling by Tyson. Anything you'd like modeled, he'll do for some freelance pay.
Tough times right now. I paid him with this delicious mulita.

Everyone loved these.

The BLTC Burrito
I love BLT's, but I love BLTC's more. Akin to Willy Wonka's candy that changes it tastes every few bites, this is the Mexican version. Four types of meat all in one burrito – buche, lengua, tripas and cabeza. But it is CRITICAL that you do not end on tripas, because well, you'll be left with an after dinner mint taste that will taste somewhat like @$$. I love tripas but you just can't end on that. Try not to order this when it's busy, or you'll get looks from the cooks. Like I did. So what, this was delicious.

After three trucks and one stand, it was time for Aziz Ansari and his entourage to leave. By the way, Aziz Ansari's show Parks and Recreation will be airing on NBC on Thursday, April 9th. I told him that we'd be glad if he joined any of our future food crawls. He's truly a good guy and no he didn't ask me to announce that his show Parks and Recreation will be airing on NBC on Thursday, April 9th.

Tacos Arizas (Sunset Blvd. & Logan)
It was now 1 am. And it was down to me, Jeni, Tyson, Chef and Alice. I could go home or I could go eat. This was a bit exhausting. But I had to ask, "One more stop?" Without hesitation, everyone answered "yes." So we ended up at Tacos Arizas of Echo Park. Only three years ago, Jeni and I sat apart from each other on crates with Jarritos and paper plates getting to know each other. Now we're sitting together.

But like the first few taco stands, we arrived at a truck that was on its way out. The workers were cleaning up and I asked if they would sell any more tacos. They looked at each other and hesitated. Right then, another 5 patrons came and the decision was unanimous. They dropped their cleaning supplies and started lighting up the griddle. Awesome. That's another $50 in their pocket, so why not. I have to say that I find myself coming back to this truck more often than not. Their tacos, burritos and quesadillas are simply done right. I like their chicken quesadillas.

In about 3.5 hours, I learned a lot about this 39-year old Korean man named Roy Choi. With something as successful as Kogi BBQ, major press on Newsweek, New York Times, LA Weekly and LA Times, celebrity sightings, its hard for a chef not to let this get to his head. Especially with a CIA culinary education, experience under Eric Ripert's Le Bernardin restaurant and 4-5-star chef ranking. Not once did I get that impression from him. Besides Octavio Becerra and Josef Centeno, I have never met more genuine, down-to-earth chefs with unmatched passion for food. Roy has seen rough times in his life but he told me that things seems to go well sooner than later with some hope and hard work. When he asked what he wanted to do next, he hinted on the idea of possibly running a taco stand.

As we were almost done with our food, one of the last few patrons started talking to us. He was drunk and enjoying his food, and must have heard us talking about all the tacos we tried tonight.

Guy: "Hey, have you guys heard of that Kogi Korean BBQ truck?"
Us: "Yeah. Have you tried it?"
Guy: "I haven't, but I heard it's good. Real good."

I expected Alice or Chef to reveal themselves, but being humble people, they didn't. Jeni, Tyson, Chef, Alice and I just looked at each other and smiled. Thanks for reading.

Here's Jeni's posting on this gluttonous evening.

Introducing Mona Greasa... Arby's New Non-Greasy Work of Art

2009-03-24T16:58:00.001-07:00

A great advertising spot done by Arby's, advertising their new 'Roast Burgers'. I still wouldn't try it. Remember that great line from an episode of The Simpsons?

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's." - Sherry or Terry

Check out www.burgergreaseart.com

Honey Pig, Koreatown - Porny the Pig

2009-03-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, words are simply unnecessary. And sometimes, I wish these images were scratch n' sniff. Google and Apple, I'm waiting. There are three things that define Honey Pig: fire, shield-size grill and pig. Lots of pig. Go. Enjoy.

Honey Pig
3400 W. 8th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90005
(213) 380-0256

The Boiling Crab, Alhambra - Redux

2009-03-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

On Sunday night, my new family and I sat back in our seats in relief and satisfaction. We were at Boiling Crab, and examined the aftermath of our seafood genocide. Our hands sticky with sauce and spices; the outer edges of our lips slightly burnt from the slight heat. On a large piece of white butcher paper lay the remains of the insects of the sea. Shrimp completely stripped of its natural clothing, crab shell pieces smashed like a car in an accident and tiny crawfish severed at the midpoint. It was in fact, a battle scene the insects of the sea had no chance of winning. But they were doomed to begin with the second they entered The Boiling Crab in Alhambra. These guys are either boiled, steamed or deep fried. From there, they are lathered in your choice of sauce – the whole garlicky, lemony, spiceful, buttery sha-bang in our case. And finally, tossed into a plastic bag and shaken up till they are painted a new color. Oysters, catfish, gumbo – are also on the menu but not what they are known for.

When we first opened the bag, you couldn't see much but orange objects, yellow corn and brown sausage slices. But the smell, man... I suddenly remembered what a lovely ingredient garlic is. Name one thing with butter, garlic, wine and spices that tastes bad – sans the whole Olive Garden menu. I reached in first to grab my first shrimp. I removed the head and went straight for the brain, the sweetest part of the bugger in my opinion. Then I cleaned off all the sauce on its arthropodic body. And after removing the shell, I took that shrimp back to Garlicville for a night on the town. Damn. That. Was. Tasty. We looked at each other and nodded – oil all over our hands and mouth.

When the waitress cleaned up our table and handed us the bill, I had to ask:

Me: "Do you sell this sauce?"
BC: "No."
Me: "You should bottle it up and sell it."
BC: "Yeah. Just come back again!"
Me: "I know. But for now, may I have two plastic bags please?"

Like my mom from Hong Kong would do or Asian for that matter haha, I dumped all that sauce back into plastic bags. I do not usually do this, but I have finally found an exception. Even at one point, extending my arms up so that I can push out all the sauce from the large bags. Jeni's mom laughed. But I didn't, I had serious game face on. I don't joke around when it comes to sauce like this. Afterwards, we quickly went to 99 Ranch to buy a pound of shrimp. I went home and threw them right into the Boiling Crab marinade. I swore I hear the shrimp scream, "Yayyyyyyyyyyyy" – they continued to scream and cheer until I tied up the bag.

The next day, all I could think about was my shrimp. I brushed my teeth twice, but I still smelled 'Le Cologne de Garlique'. I would look at the time and countdown. Ok, 4 more hours till it's on. Almost time for Boiling Crab Redux.

I even bought some fresh corn and found some Trader Joe's chicken sausages – threw them into the sauce party. There was major happiness going on in there.

I threw maybe 8-10 scoops of garlic sauce onto the sausages and corn but reserved the rest for the main event. Versus boiling the shrimp, I decided to take it to another level by doing it Hawaiian style. I cooked the shrimp no longer than 4-5 minutes total since they were so large. My only complaint with BC is that the shrimp were overcooked. But that's ok, the sauce more than made up for it. These shrimp tasted awesome and I think the shrimp trucks of Hawaii or Uncle Moki's might have something to aspire to now. Boiling crab, thank you. And thanks for reading.

The Boiling Crab
742 W. Valley Blvd.
Alhambra, CA 91803
(626) 576-9368
www.theboilingcrab.com

A review of the Garden Grove, OC location by super-foodie & poet, Elmomonster.

Engrish #1: Chinatown Duck & Fish

2009-03-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

I love the site Engrish.com and I thank them for the many laughs it has provided. Japan is full of quirkiness and many times, the signage is intentionally created for god knows what reason. But what about my Chinese people, I don't think their intentions are to make you laugh. They just want you to get in to their restaurant, sit down, shut the hell up and eat. And they don't care if any of that English really makes sense. To the printing presses, who is proofreading??? What is the rush to print these menus/signage out, that you can't even look over it once??? Send it to me, I'd do it for FREE so that we don't add more fuel to the already mile-high fire.

Here are the latest ones I've found in Chinatown.

Is it really that SPECLAI? How is that you spell it correctly first, then completely re-order the last 3 letters of the word? This ad does not boost the self esteem of this already-doomed $10 lobster.

I would be sore too if I saw how my life was fated at this restaurant. Notice how the manager had blocked out the prices, because they are cash typos. But he doesn't bother correcting any Engrish. Whoever designed this poster should also get a spanking – it looks like the fish and duck corpses are on vacation in Tahiti. Why does the fish look like one of those painted Asian fans? It also looks like it's wearing some sort of headband from an injury. Probably from banging into the glass of a 10 gallon tank that contains over 100 fish. I also like how the duck looks like it's taking off like Mary Poppins, holding a plate of his chopped up comrade. Haha, the absence of webbed feet are funny too.

And here's an oldie but a goodie. Leave it up to the Koreans for an offer you can't refuse on Thanksgiving... $6.99 for ROBSTER. I'd take lobster with kimchi and gravy on it anyday. Mmm!

I have a feeling this will become a regular section on my blog. So, please feel free to send any you find and I'll post them up. Not limited to Asians, although we rule the world in Engrish. Thanks for reading.

Marisco Chente, Los Angeles - A Shrimp Morgue in Mar Vista

2009-03-15T23:09:00.000-07:00

It was a Saturday afternoon and I sat patiently hunched forward with hands crossed on a table with a lazy susan. Jeni was by my side and so was Eddie, Rickmond and Javier. Eddie, also known as the ultimate predator and every animal's/insect's worst nightmare had invited us to a day of adventurous eating. Just before, we had stomached a Filipino duck egg in its nascency – eyes sheathed with very thin veiny skin, claws just firm enough to give you a nice prick in the throat and enough feathers to remind you that you were in fact, consuming a dormant mammal. We had also just finished live spot prawns that jumped out of the pot brought out by the server. About 10 minutes before, they had added a Chinese rice wine and covered the shrimp with a lid, intoxicating them to a lethal state. We picked up the shrimp with our hands the second we their antennaes became limp. We took off their heads, exposing their brain and pulled off its shell. The shrimp was so sweet and fresh, and a few times, I thought I felt the pulse of the once alive shrimp on my tongue. It was exciting and unexpecting.

And now, we were up for the final dish, live lobster... sashimi. All of us looked at each other with confusion and excitement. Eddie saw the server coming through the double doors with a large platter, rubbing his hands together in sheer joy. When the server laid down the platter, we saw not one, but two lobsters. They faced each other on a bed of ice, with antennaes in full motion and making contact with each other. In between the two lobsters, was a small pile of light gray flesh resembling that of red snapper sushi. But then, there was something that caught out attention. The lobsters were moving, but it was only their head that remained. The thorax, abdomen and tail were nowhere to be seen. For a moment, there was an eerie silence. The server even looked at us to get our reaction, almost asking us through ESP, "are you really sure you want this?" We hesitated for a few seconds, and one after the other, we straightened our chopsticks and grabbed a piece of the flesh. I saw the lobster staring at me as I reached my chopsticks into the flesh pile in front of them, even brushing their antennaes. I dipped the lobster sashimi in the provided soy sauce and wasabi, which is not a typical condiment in a Chinese restaurant. I then put the piece of lobster in my mouth and looked at the lobster still alive and kicking. For a second I felt it was a bit wrong, but that quickly changed once my palate approved of the sashimi. My god, it was delicious. Sweet, beautiful texture and reminiscent of sweet shrimp (ama ebi). Once we had finished the sashimi, we cleaned out the heads of the lobsters and by this point, they had fortunately died. I wondered if they could see me eat them alive and I certainly hope they didn't. I felt as though I had walked away with murder and I'll never forget this delightful meal. Note: the lobster is very well dead upon being cut up and Eddie quotes that the remaining nerve or muscle reflexes will still be in effect for a little while.

Almost a year later, I was reminded of that occasion with the live lobsters the second I walked into Mariscos Chente in Mar Vista with my coworkers. With its white walls, green tables, blue-tiled floor, stainless steel metal and open dining area, I was mildly reminded of a morgue – a shrimp morgue to be exact. But I knew this place, much like any other humble Latino-run restaurant, was not about decor or adornments. They had something very delicious in store for us.

Mariscos Chente is run by Sergio Eduardo Penuelas and his wife, Maria. ("Chente" is short for Vicente (Vincent) in Spanish, which is Maria's fathers name – the original chef of MC's dishes.) They come from the Western Mexican states of Sinaloa, and Nayarit respectively – both of which offer an extensive list of seafood dishes. According to Street Gourmet LA's great discussion and review on Mariscos Chente, "it's Nayarit cuisine with a Sinaloan chef." I had eaten ceviche a dozen times, but had never tried Nayarit or Sinaloan-style food. Let's go.

Cubeta de Cerveza (Bucket of Beer)
Eating a Mexican seafood meal without some sort of alcoholic drink is simply immoral. Even more immoral than eating the flesh of a live lobster. The food gods will make sure you spend more time in the purgatory rather than ascending to heaven. Chef Sergio knows that, and that's why he endows you with your very own cubeta de cerveza... 6 beers for $15. Salud!

Grilled Marlin Tacos
I watch a lot of Discovery Channel and National Geographic, especially the ocean related stuff. If there's one fish I do want to catch and cook up before I die, it's a marlin. Pretty easy stuff considering it'll only take 4 hours and rip off all the skin from your palms. This is one TOUGH fish and tough fish means tough meat. Right? Wrong. Leave it to Chef Sergio to give you some of the tastiest, smokiest marlin tacos you'll ever have. The meat has a consistency of pork and its super moist. A simple dip into the hot, cucumber-infused green hot sauce and you can relax knowing that Chef Sergio just saved you 4 punishing hours of skin-tearing pain on your palms. Guys will be grateful.

Ceviche de Camaron
Your standard dish at any Mexican mariscos restaurant. But you'll notice a large portion of cucumbers are mixed in – that's because Nayarit and Sinaloa use it heavily in their cuisine. This ceviche was done very well. Just the right amount of lime and not too sour. The shrimp was well balanced with the cold tomato and cucumber cubes – altogether it was very refreshing. I would get this again and maybe even request an octopus (pulpo) version.

Coctel de Camaron y Pulpo (Shrimp & Octopus Cocktail)
Another standard dish that comes in a glass, rather than a plate. It's almost the same as ceviche only there is ketchup added. In addition to the freshness of the shrimp, octopus and vegetables, there was a nice smokiness in the juice and I can't quite figure out its origin. FYI, this is also the Mexican version of the "hair of the dog" and I believed it as we passed this along to everyone at the table. You will be completely sober after eating/drinking this. I have to say, I am now a huge fan of lime juice that is mixed with seafood, ketchup and veggies. Mmm, Sea Juice anyone?

Camarones Aguachiles
And here is the reason why I deem Mariscos Chente as a shrimp morgue and why I am reminded of the "Day of the Living Lobsters". The server brought this out to us and we were immediately attracted to the dish. The shrimps were all facing outwards, staring at each one of us. Their bodies had been butterflied beautifully, and the flesh resembled a cape behind their heads. And they weren't flying anywhere else but into our stomachs. The plating of the butterflied-Shrimp with heads still attached and the combination of gray, green and purple colors immediately hit our brain as true food porn. It was naked. It was sexy. And it was true Mexican seafood. Aguachiles refers to the stellar sauce that Chef Sergio makes – a little lime, chiles and cucumbers are blended together in this harmonious sauce that accents the sweetness of the shrimp. Not quite as sweet as Spot Prawns but still delicious. I love the texture of raw shrimp.

Camarones a La Diabla
The server set this down and immediately reminded of a massacre. The shrimp, some beheaded, lay on the plate amongst fallen comrades in their own blood pool. It was beautiful. Considered to be the spiciest of Chef Sergio's dishes, this is simply fantastic. Chef Sergio serves up the perfectly sautéed shrimp in a sauce made of two types of chili (Nuevo Mexico and Chili de Arbol), cooked onions and butter. I think I tasted a hint of beer but that could be from my cubeta de cerveza. I have never found a Mexican seafood sauce as spicy, buttery and smoky as this and we made sure to lick that plate clean. We added the rest of the sauce into the shrimp cocktail and jokingly told Sergio to check out our invention: Ceviche a la Diabla. He laughed and then walked away muttering... "pinche chino." Just kidding.

Another Gratuitous View of Camarones a La Diabla
If Chef Sergio bottled this sauce up, he would make a fortune and shrimp would hate him forever.

Camarones a La Pimienta
I think these are in my top 3 of Sergio's shrimp dishes. I am a black pepper freak.

Camarones Checo
All you're going to taste in this is garlic, tons of spice and butter. You will love.

Camarones Borachos
These shrimp are deep-fried, and then sautéed with Worcestershire sauce (Salsa de Ingleterra) and tequila. Wasn't my favorite because the shrimp was way overcooked. It was nothing like Japanese deep fried shrimpheads.

Pescado Zarandeado
And this is probably Sergio's most proud dish – the pescado zarandeado. The verb zarandear means to shake or stir, but it has nothing to do with this dish that requires grilling with a special robato tool. He uses a fish called Snook and after filleting it in half butterfly style, he adds a sauce made of soy sauce, limes and mayonnaise. The fish is then folded back into its original form and sent to grill hell. And this beauty is served upon a turquoise tray – I love it.

Chef Sergio Eduardo Penuelas
Here is the shrimp mortician himself. Everyday, he probably sacrifices over 3,000 shrimp. He is the nicest guy and I have to say, probably the best Mexican seafood chef I had ever met. My biggest problem with ceviche in general has been the overuse of lime more as a way to mask older seafood, rather than 'cook' the seafood. But Chef Sergio has helped me realize my love for Mexican seafood once again. His sensibility of adding just the right amount of everything is exhibited in every dish we tried.

Compared to your "standard" Mexican restaurant, there is a lot to be learned about Nayarit and Sinaloan cuisine as there are huge differences. We didn't get to try the Nayarit specialty, pescado zarandeado, which is a whole-grilled Snook fish marinated in soy sauce, lime, chipotle and mayo. It's supposed to be the most popular, if not best dish at Mariscos Chente. Nor did we get to try the many variations of sautéed shrimp in various sauces such as pepper and oil, butter, garlic and tequila. The good thing about Mariscos Chente is that the menu is small enough for you to complete in about 4-5 visits and it's comforting knowing that anything you do try will be made by a very talented, warm chef that will have you coming back more than once. Thanks for reading.

Mariscos Chente
4532 S. Centinela Avenue
Los Angeles, California 90066
(310) 390-9241

Mariscos Chente reviews on Los Angeles Times, Street Gourmet LA and Exile Kiss.