The Takeaway: Gain awareness for eating triggers that are unrelated to physical hunger.

Actions:

I. identify triggers that make you want to eat: stress, emotional discomfort, shame

II. surround yourself with healthy food so that if you can’t avoid your food crutches, they are at least healthy ones

Note: This is the long story. If you want the short story – my suggestions for lateral food substitutions, scroll to the bottom.

I’m in an odd sort of mood as I write this. Maybe it is because I woke up at 4:30am, which would have been fine if I had gone to bed at my usual time. Actually, it is fine, but I get caught up in telling myself certain stories and worrying about how I’ll be at work tomorrow with a weekend of less than optimal sleep behind me. But I had a wonderful day yesterday – planting rice, spending time out in the community with friends, and enjoying a solitary dinner journaling and connecting with myself rather than doing something mindless like watching tv.

But now? I’m in an odd state of restlessness about my morning. I couldn’t fall back asleep, I think because a part of me wanted to get up with the sun and tackle tons of chores and feel extremely productive. I want to accomplish my weekend sometimes, but I don’t know if that means that I enjoy it. I just ate the rest of my breakfast, sort of a second breakfast – I think because I was trying to cover up an emotion I didn’t even know was there. I had told myself to go to the gym by 10am, and it is now 10:17. I probably won’t get to the gym before 11, what with this food to digest and weird emotion to sort out. But as long as I get there before noon…

One of my emotional eating triggers is an agenda anxiety, much milder than what it once was, but still a thought that preoccupies my time more often than I’d like. I plan out the day in advance, trying to achieve as much as possible in certain time frames. Yet I covet time to myself, time where I feel neither guilt nor need to do nothing or anything. It’s an odd cycle, and beyond puzzlement I don’t know what to feel about it. I try really hard not to be judgmental about my emotions anymore. But the hardest thing is the letting go – I tell myself to just enjoy the day as it comes, and things will work out. I tell myself this, but believing it is another story.

Don’t let worry over the next moment take away the joy of the current one.

Reflecting on it a bit more, I have a mix of emotions – a twinge of sadness, a little bit of concern for friends, and a whole lot of uncertainty. I’m a little bit sad right now, because my sister is graduating this weekend and I’m not there with her, or the rest of my family, to celebrate. I don’t like to admit these little twinges of homesickness, for fear that it somehow diminishes the lovely life I’ve built here, far off in another country. But it’s there, and I’m dissolving my resistance to admitting it very slowly. Two friends opened up to me about problems they are facing in their life yesterday, and while I was grateful of their trust and able to give some advice – I often don’t know how to be empathetic in a helpful way. I want to take on everyone’s worries and hurts and fix them for my loved ones. That isn’t possible, so I’ll find a way to make peace with it. So I’m a little sad, a little worried, but I’m a whole lot uncertain. And I’m not even sure what I’m uncertain about! How I feel about this day. How I feel with so little sleep. If I can accomplish and enjoy a weekend all in the same. Whether or not I should return the gray pants I bought on Friday for fear they look like pantaloons rather than pleasantly billowy (though my butt looks pretty good in them).

I’m off to make my peace with uncertainty, and trusting the universe that the nourishing breakfast I ate, whether I needed to eat all of it or not, will be metabolized with my own forgiveness, awareness, and a series of very deep breaths throughout the day when my brain needs a break from all the thinking.

Of course, I always advocate dealing with emotions or triggers instead of covering up your problem with food. But that isn’t to say that I’m perfect at all! I just ate some lamb and vegetables that maybe I didn’t need – maybe I could have gone to the gym sooner and stuck with my “plan” for the day. Either way, between emotional eating or agenda anxiety, it takes a superhuman effort to walk out of the kitchen and seek spiritual, rather than physical, nourishment. Sometimes I’m up to it, and other times I am not. If I really am in a jam and can’t avoid a stress eating match, I at least go for the most nutrient dense food first. When I can at least feel good about what I am eating, knowing that it is nourishing me, I won’t perpetuate the cycle of shame that comes with emotional eating. Here are a few ideas to help you transition:

- make sweet potato or taro chips in coconut oil

- find brands of veggie or fruit chips made with whole foods (avoid fractured oils)

- cut up raw veg for a crunchy snack

- choose veggies first! always

- relax with a cup of tea

- get carb comfort from squash or sweet potatoes

- buy nuts in the shell, which requires you to slow down and contemplate what you`re eating.

- try recipes for whole foods, homemade treats like jello

- Review the Whole Foods Ladder!

The Back-Story

I was a stress eater. First I stress-ate Ben & Jerrys. Six months later I was stress eating green beans and vegetables.

I used to be a huge gum chewer, and now that I eat a whole foods diet with more satiating meals, I’ve found my desire to chew gum has evaporated. This step is a long term step, and you’ll fall back into old patterns sometimes. That’s ok. Forgive yourself.

- Forgiveness is part of self-love. There is a cycle to eat foods that make us feel bad, and then we want to punish ourselves for eating that food and feeling bad, so we eat more. I was a pro at this in high school and college. Negative self-talk never helped me, not once, to make better choices and eat in a way that supported my body. Self-love and forgiveness has. You can pause the vicious cycle with forgiveness, and move to a new path with self-love.

It takes a lot of courage to go out and embrace the uncertainty in our lives. It can send some of us running to the pantry to seek a certain amount of comfort from grounding ourselves with the physical act of feeding, nourishing, and foisting sustenance in order to remind ourselves we are okay. Others may run away from their emotions, or suffer slowly and silently with shame while their spirit withers away in darkness. But slowly, bit by bit, we can open up to awareness and uncertainty, nourishing ourselves appropriately with whole foods, when the time is right, nourishing ourselves with emotional attention, and mustering the courage we all have inside to reclaim our spiritual light.

From the poem To This Day by Shane Koyczan:

”  . . . and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.”

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Was that too heavy? I’m sorry. My updates are funnier. I promise. Until Thursday, go here and have yourself a laugh. Or watch fainting goat videos on YouTube. Whatever makes your day – you deserve a laugh! I think that is the one thing I’m going to accomplish today – actively seeking some laughter.

I don’t know if I love anything more than a wholesome potluck. Perhaps because it reminds me of the Midwest; perhaps because you only have to do a fraction of the dishes but are able to try many amazing things, or perhaps because I think it is wired in our DNA to enjoy a big gathering with a bunch of people and a ton of good food.

Some of the best brains have contributed amazing dishes to show you that whole foods are incredibly mouthwatering, easy to prepare, and fun to share! I hope some of these recipes get you started in your own whole foods kitchen, and help you realize this path to a whole foods lifestyle is not only worth every step but also delicious.

First, for breakfast, tea, or lovely snack, check out these bites from some fabulous bakers:

Cinnamon Scones from Iris at the Daily Dietribe. I could not believe these beauties are gluten/grain/dairy/egg/nut/soy/sugar free!

5 Minute Paleo Muffins from Tessa the Domestic Diva [These look incredible. And five minutes?!]

3-Ingredient Grain Free Banana Pancakes! (which are Paleo/SCD/GAPS friendly) from Amber at the Tasty Alternative. They sell pancakes on the go at Starbucks in Japan. I wish they sold THESE ones.

5 Ingredient Banana Bread Pancakes from Hallie at Daily Bites. It usually happens at potlucks that two people bring the same dish, but I’m of the opinion that you can never have enough pancakes!

And if you do go for tea, don’t miss this lovely addition:

Yogi Tea from Lillian of Lillian’s Test Kitchen

I know these main dishes would be a huge hit if I took these potluck on the road to real-life Wisconsin, which holds a gold standard for all thinks potluckian:

The fabulous Melissa of The Clothes Make the Girl, and the author of Well Fed, shared her Paleo Sheperd’s Pie

Photo credit David Humphreys

This recipe never ceases to make me drool: Caramelized Broth Brisket with Beef Jam from Matt and Stacy of the Paleo Parents. Eat Like a Dinosaur is one of my favorite cookbooks, and a new family mantra, and I’m sure that their upcoming book Beyond Bacon is going to be full of potluck scores.

And my own Crockpot Bison Stew, which is so simple and delicious that it is devoured by all my brothers before I ever get a decent photo (luckily they’ve learned to make it themselves!)

My other self, aka brother Joe from Cancer Dudes Live More has a great video for restaurant-quality, cancer-fighting, nutrient-dense Coconut Curry Salmon.

Biscuits. Yeah. Biscuits get their own category. Especially these ones.

Coconut Flour Country Biscuits from Sunny at And Love it Too! I ate these instead of birthday cake. For-real.

photo credit: and love it too!

While most traditional potluck “salads” are an unrecognizable glob of either mayo or Cool-Whip, these gorgeous beauties remind us why we love vegetables so much!

Raw Beet, Carrot & Apple Salad with Ginger Lime Dressing from Megan at Allergy Free Alaska. Thank you Megan for being that person at the potluck who saves us all and brings vegetables!

ROASTED CARROTS from Cheryl of Gluten Free Goodness. I have been on a huge roasted carrot kick recently, and I would have a hard time sharing these if it were an actual potluck.

Roasted Vegetable Salad

Laarb Inspired Summer Salad

And, it would not be a potluck without a plethora of good desserts. Take your pick! (I’m thinking of making an ice cream sandwich with George’s cookies & Olivia’s ice cream)

Coconut Blueberry Pound Cupcakes from Shirley at gluten-free easily. I love everything about this. And Shirley.

Cake Batter Ice Cream from the adorable Olivia at Omnom Love

Pistachio Gelato (Dairy Free, Cane Sugar Free & Vegan) from Laura at Laura’s Gluten Free Pantry – what a classy potlucker she is.

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Cake Cookies from George at Civilized Caveman Cooking. I can’t even handle how amazing these cookies are. George too.

and Lillian, with her adorable aprons and even more adorable videos, is showing us all up by bringing THREE desserts

Dairy-free, Grain-free, Strawberry & (Coconut) Cream Shortcake

Lime Tart (Grain-free, Dairy-free, Refined Sugar-free)

Grain-free, Sugar-free Banana Muffins with Dairy-free, Soy-free Vegan Chocolate Mousse Frosting

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Oh man. I am so hungry.

I had written about the ways in which I celebrate my strengths, and last week I did a post actively practicing self-love and looking for the good in what I had thought were catastrophic photos of myself. But I realized rather humbly that there are quite a few more areas where I can do good work. So here are some examples of how I’ve been a strength rockstar this week:

1. Made some BRILLIANT fermented dill pickles. I’ve been a little afraid of home fermenting and/or canning (Botulism? I have to sterilize things? errrrr does washing count?), but this recipe was so simple and delicious. It only took 3 days for bubbles to form in my kitchen, and these cukes have the perfect amount of crunch. I was worried about eating two jars before they spoiled, but I don’t think that will be any problem now!

2. Thinking about things that I WANT in my life rather than things I need to improve on: I’ve decided that I want more intention in my life and less thinking. Still puzzling this out while I continue my 30 day Meditation Challenge.

3. Clothes. Over the years of weight fluctuation paired with a natural aversion to shopping, I’ve amassed clothes that don’t fit the best. Some are too baggy and some are too snug. Today, I put on a pair of pants that fit last summer, but are currently just a wee bit too tight. Instead of freaking out (like I have been for the past 3 months) about how I’ve gained a little weight, I told myself this: “Ok, these aren’t working right now. That’s ok, no big deal. I’m going to put on some pants that make me FEEL good, and I’ll hang these up for now. When I’m ready, I can wear them again.” No shaming story, no hypercritical judgement, just a decision to wear only the things that make me feel good.

4. I went to the gym on Saturday, and instead of looking at my flabby arms like I usually do, I thought about how I was pretty much an Amazon at the gym. I’m considered tall in Japan, and I was the only woman lifting weights. I love all the stares I get when I throw some weight on the squat bar or pick up some dumbbells!

5. I realized that, as far as I’ve come in dealing with shame, I still had a “not good enough” attitude when it came to exercise. I thought I was never trying hard enough or exhausting myself enough or being as good as someone else. And once I realized that, I stopped for a second and thought. Who cares?!!! I’m exercising! I’m enjoying it and keeping up with it. Consistency is more important to me than perfection. I go out and do a sprint exercise each week, and actually feel good about doing it, whereas just a few years ago the only reason I got off the couch after work was to go and get a second frozen ice cream cone. (Even that last comment was a little judgmental. I was sick and I didn’t know how to make myself feel better. I’m ok that I ate that second drumstick – I can still love myself for it. I just wanted to celebrate how far I’ve come!)

So I may not satisfy my own Judgy Judgmental brain when it comes to how hard I should be working when I exercise, but I know that if I keep practicing self-love and self-worth then the whole “I’m not good enough/don’t try hard enough” exercise thing, perplexing as it is, will work itself out in time.

Nothing is more satisfying than the easy, one-two bunch of homemade cleaners. Sustainable, safe, and effective, I don’t have to worry about recycling tons of plastic bottles or harming humans, animals, or earth with chemicals. I clean my entire apartment with baking soda, vinegar, lemons, essential oils, hydrogen peroxide, and sometimes (intentionally or otherwise): tea. Once in a while I will utilize grapefruit or citrus peels and salt too.

This fabulous all-purpose cleaner has worked on the most stubborn area of my home: the toilet. (Duhn duh duhnnnnn).

And the cleaning lady used baking soda & vinegar.

I have a Pinterest board called “Simple Living” as well as “Make Your Own”, where I keep track of all kinds of fabulous homemade cleaners. I’m not what you would call a cleaning fanatic, so if I can get my lazybones to throw together some baking soda & vinegar, it will be a snap for anyone else!

4 Simple Ingredients to Replace ALL Your Cleaners!   – Check this out for odor deodorizer, toilet bowl cleaner, and all purpose cleaner recipes!

For an extra boost in my toilet room, I used grapefruit-infused vinegar for a fresh smell.

And now I have a throne fit for a Queen. (I did get a comment that I looked regal in these photos – though I’m not on a toilet in any of them!!! Though I did spend a good 7 minutes googling “toilet cleaning memes” for this post)

The takeaway: Use your strengths to guide you through change, relieving obstacles and becoming your own best friend in your quest for better health and a more joyful life!

Actions: Make a list of all the things you are good at. It can have any focus – things you like about your body, a gratitude list of all the things you appreciate, skills you have that make you a rockstar at home or at work, etc. ANYTHING you do well – write it down! You can use those strengths to help you solve problems and overcome obstacles.

I used to intensely focus on my “faults” or “weaknesses” because I thought I needed to work on, overcome, or improve those. This caused a lot of negative self-talk, self-bullying, and self-hate. And there were no positive results! I didn’t feel like I improved or made any progress in becoming a better person. This went on for a good 8 years.

So trust me, focusing on your weaknesses only wears you down.

Once I started looking at what I was GOOD at, what I liked and loved about myself; I was able to apply some awesome inner power to my goals for improvement: in work, in my personal life, and in my health. Change is big. Change is life. In order to live a big life, you need to find a way through your fear of change. And that, my friends, is where we apply our strengths.

I’m always looking for the bright side or silver lining. It isn’t so much a question of my natural “personality”, but how I choose to engage with the world. Call me an idealist, naive, “Just to the left of Karl Marx pinko-commie-leftist-liberal” + “tree hugger” (credit to Dad & Grandpa for the last two), but I am happier with my outlook on the world. And it is much less of a struggle to use your strengths to guide you, rather than cutting yourself down on your weaknesses.

This would be so much easier if I wasn’t so hard on myself.

The same goes for my food and exercise. I have an issue with “self-discipline” and I always thought about my lack of consistency and emotional eating as things that I was doomed to live with because of some deep personality flaw. Once I read Daring Greatly, I learned to recognize how shame was driving these constant worries and how to work towards more self-love and less shame. I reached out and asked for help, getting a coach at the gym and a bunch of accountability partners in my struggle for better health. But I also made it a point to focus on what I was good at. Here are a few ideas how:

• Self-love meditation, especially guided meditations that direct you to speak to yourself and say what you love.
• Strengths Finder 2.0 test, a paid online assessment, but well worth the $20 I spent in terms of professional gains and accomplishments in teaching and personal self-confidence. I have a list of my strengths hanging at my desk.
• Talking to others about what I was good at when I didn’t know what to tell myself. Friends are amazingly good at seeing all the good things you are ignoring about yourself when you only have a negative story.
• Reading books like Daring Greatly and blogs focusing on self-love, like Paleo for Women.
• Keeping a daily gratitude journal, and including things that I was grateful for about myself.
• Making mental lists of things I liked about my body.
• Doing positive challenges to include things that I want in my life, like the 30 day dance challenge
• CELEBRATING my accomplishments!

The last one was really big. I was always so busy looking for what to improve next, I forgot to acknowledge all the good things I had done or things I had achieved. It can be as small as a “go you!” in your brain after you work on something, or you can share with friends and family and create a little celebration. I sometimes treat myself to a Thai massage or one of my other little indulgences after I’ve worked hard at a goal and came out on top. A lot of the time, I just write down all the good things I did that day in a “done” list, rather than a “to do” list.

And if you sometimes stumble and don’t do exactly what you want to do? Brush it off. Let it go. Learn for next time. Hanging on to my old mishaps takes so much more energy than just saying ok, I’ll do better next time. Don’t worry, because I fail all the time. It’s actually how we grow. Don’t think of yourself as doomed to be stuck in an eternal cycle. The only true failure is giving up on yourself. The rest are just details that help you figure out your path, whatever your destination may be.

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves, come when life seems most challenging.

~Joseph Campbell

Crockpot pot roast? Easy peasy!

Leftover pot roast? A dream for the taste-buds.

Leftover pot roast bedded in a salad full of crisp spring foliage? WIN.

Did I just use the word foliage in place of salad? Yes. I’m the kind of person who likes to eat foliage. Call me a Brontosaurus.

I think the best way to eat a pot roast is a day later, cold or room temp, on top of a salad. Letting meats “rest” for a day, especially after roasting or slow cooking, lets all the flavors melt and meld together into a luscious tongue party. In fact I’d rather eat bison tongue or bison meat than beef, but if I do have a great cut of beef than pot roast is my favorite way to go, especially in the slow cooker.

Easy Pot Roast recipe from I Breathe…I’m Hungry…

Pot Roast Salad

I trust you to eyeball this and use in the proportions for your taste. For example, if you had an entire pot roast left, then go wild and use an entire head of lettuce. If you’re like me and you had 1/3 of a small roast left, then use 1/3-1/2 of a head of lettuce. Party!

leftover pot roast, shredded (just take a fork and stab around and the meat will break apart easily)

fresh lettuce, washed and cleaned

radishes, raw or roasted

quick pickled onions

1/2 to 1 whole avocado

1 English or Japanese cucumber, chopped

Pink Salt, to your taste

fresh seaweed, optional

pickled ginger, optional

any other garnish you enjoy on your salads!

All you have to do here is make sure everything is washed & trimmed, throw it on a plate and you’re golden! The juice from the pot roast turned into a natural, easy dressing for me, but you can also drizzle some olive oil & lemon juice on top for a luscious yet simple dressing.

I was looking for a burst of color when taking these photos, and I wanted something red. As much as I love the Superfood Salad post that I just did on the Paleo Mom, I didn’t think raw chicken liver was quite up my alley, red as it was sitting in my momentarily threadbare fridge. Then I saw some neglected radishes in my crisper and remembered one of the first things my mom taught me about cooking: how to fan a strawberry! Voila. Garnish issue solved, and I discovered young (spring) radishes are really delicious raw, sprinkled with salt.

While I was writing the post Why I Love My Stretch Marks, a thought hit me while I was looking through old photos. I write so much about self-love, but I didn’t actually love a part of myself – my past self. The one that ate her emotions, felt she had no self-worth, and stayed on the sidelines of life because of how she looked. I had forgiven myself for that – my idea of forgiveness being that you don’t condone what a person did, but simply say that it won’t stay in the way of your happiness forever. So I had forgiven myself, but I didn’t love myself. I usually pretend like the old photos of me on Facebook don’t exist. I leave them there, tagged (for the most part), because I think it is a good exercise in letting go. It’s a practice in being the person honest enough to share all the good things and all the not so good things we think or see in ourselves.

But how do I love that old self? It is much easier to love myself now, knowing that the choices I make in life are moving me toward greater health, freedom, and courage to live openly and completely. When I look at old pictures, or even new pictures, my immediate reaction is to look for what is wrong, or what I don’t like. So, as an exercise in self-love, past and present, here are some of my most cringe-worthy photos, and what I used to look at immediately, and now what I am trying to look for in an effort to forgive, let go, and ultimately love.

Below is a college “party” celebrating the fact that my roommate didn’t have Lyme disease.

With the negative blinders on, all I can see is ROUND. Round face, round chin, round body. And poor food choices. Green jello and conventional whipped cream??? I didn’t know I had food allergies then, but still not the best choice. That I can let go of pretty easily. The way I look? The way I remembered how I felt during that first year of college? Harder to let go of.

Now when I look at the photo, I see a young person having fun. I’ve always thought my smile was my best feature, and that has always been a constant. Plus, I’ve got a little dimple action going on there, which is kind of cute.

Next up, probably my biggest issue when looking at pictures: fixating on my double chin. Some days it seems worse than others, and now that I’ve lost weight there is less flesh on my face, but it still gets me every time. Even today. It’s the first thing I zoom in on.

The self-love side: my sister looks gorgeous in this photo, and I’m happy to be spending time with her and proud to be her older sister. This was a summer where I lived with my grandmother, and I wouldn’t trade that time with her for anything in the world. I think I’ve got a pretty nice tan going on here too. I still don’t like the photo, but there is a softening towards my feelings for it.

And these get harder to share as we move from what I consider bad to worse…Elephant face! Trying to inject a little humor into my situation, I don’t care so much about my cheeks as the slouchy posture and general awkwardness of this photo. It’s still a little funny, but not the first thing I’d want to put up on a dating website, for example.

From a place of self-love: It is a funny photo, and I dearly love my friend with whom I took this trip. We have a lot of awesome memories together, and I can look at this photo and remember what I good friend I am. Still not going on the dating website though. My shirt says cow, for heavens sake! Though to be fair, this is up on the internet for all to see, haha. Que cera!

One thing that helps me look at these photos is remembering the way I felt when some of them were taken. Normally, if I know someone is taking my photo or it feels very staged, I get self-conscious and I think that shows through in the picture. Take these two, for example:

Same outfit, same weight, and totally different feelings about it. The first one, my eye goes right to my middle. Yet again, my smile is nice. The second photo – I look at my face and remember what fun I had that day, cooking with my friends (and exploding a pan, though not for the first time!). I’m grateful for this photo, and my friend who took it, because of the beautiful, unguarded moment she memorialized for me. That is my grace when looking back on these photos and seeing only the negative: remembering the friends, the experiences, and the treasured memories, even when life seemed like more of a struggle than it does now.

A good illustration of that is how I have the courage to post this photo. My first thought is ACK! But when I come at it from a point of self-love, I remember how much fun my brother and I had on that trip to Germany, and again, I wouldn’t trade that time for anything in the world – not a skinnier body or better skin or more open eyes.

My brother is cute in this photo, and I really liked those earrings I was wearing. Actually, even my feelings from Sunday to now have softened around this photo. Everything is less jagged and more open – accepting even, on the good days. And most of my life has been good days. The sun was shining – I got to go to Germany, for pete’s sake! – and life is good. Life was good then too. I just have to remember to see it.

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And some photos just make me laugh.

I had some leftovers from my Double Chocolate Shake Ice Cream AND 4 Ingredient Pumpkin Soft Cream, so when my friend came over I mixed her up a shake. I later dropped the blender, twice, spattering my floor and computer with chocolate goo. The blender is now cracked and leaking, and I’m stuck trying to figure out how to recycle hard plastic. Later that night, a windstorm knocked over my plant, which knocked over my glass and broke the nice blue glass you see in the picture below. Sigh. At least I can make a shake. The rest of my kitchen is a bit of a battlefield…

 Blend 3/4 c coconut milk, 1 scoop of Double Chocolate Shake Ice Cream, 1 scoop of 4 Ingredient Pumpkin Soft Cream, and a few ice cubes (or 1/4 frozen sweet potato, like I did). Spice it up with some cinnamon, or use Sweet Potato Soft Cream in place of the pumpkin flavor.

Well I completed the Live Below the Line Challenge – and it went as well I as had expected.

My main source of food was the chicken broth I made from $1.00 chicken bones, and the only time I noticed a pinch was when I went to the vegetable market. I’m used to buying whatever vegetables I want, so to walk in and choose one kind of greens rather than a huge handful was an exercise in mindfulness for me.

I was a little hungry, but nothing compared to the chronic hunger others experience with no end in sight.

I’ve noticed a greater feeling of awareness and restriction in terms of my food budget. I keep thinking about how much I can spend and how much I should spend on food. For other items and general shopping, I usually apply these questions:

• Is this a truly needed item or just something I desire to buy?
• How many times will I use this? Is it single use? How will I dispose of it or recycle it? Will it be trash or be reused?
• If I wait 30 days to buy this, will I still want it?
• What is driving this impulse to buy?
• Who could use this money more than I could?

The last question is the result of this latest experiment. I find that I am happier when I have fewer things – especially when moving internationally or sticking to my goal of decluttering one thing in my life each day.

So when I shop for anything now – food or otherwise – I’ll be keeping in mind the principles I learned from No Spend Month and this challenge. Now if I could remember to implement my budget the 1st of each month, rather than a week later after I’ve discarded my food receipts, that would be a big help too.

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My 30 day dance challenge went so well that I’ll be doing another challenge for May. I’m going to continue dancing every morning to get me going, or when I need a pick me up or am feeling crabby. I was dancing down the hallways after a very frustrating morning at work, and I realized that I could just let everything go. I didn’t have to struggle with all these thoughts and judgements – so I didn’t. I still made all my co-workers laugh when I talked about how much I hated the printer that never quite works right, but it was a humorous dialogue rather than one full of expletives (which I had been contemplating only 20 minutes before when I hadn’t been dancing). So I’ll keep working on dancing as a habit for stress relief, and my next habit-building challenge will be….

5 minute Standing Meditation!

I speak about meditation quite a bit, only because this former skeptical, bottle-up-emotions and “just deal with it” girl has had her outlook on life and healing significantly improved by guided meditation. From exploring emotions, discovering how to listen to my own body wisdom, waking up to have a better and more productive day, positive sleep habits, to simple relaxation, mediation has been awesome. But I needed help to quiet my crazy brain, and now I think I’m ready to try a more active, visualization type of meditation. So I’ll be doing the Standing Meditation outlined in Paul Chek’s book How to Eat, Move, and Be Healthy, for 5 minutes a day. I also want to incorporate a lunch break deep breathing exercise to remind my body not to get into funky shallow breathing, poor sitting and standing posture. I’m also toying with the idea of getting a pedometer in order to reach 10,000 steps per day, but I’ll focus on mediation for now.

What are you interested in? Would you like to start your own 30 day, positive habit building challenge? It would be a great compliment to Step 5 in the Whole Foods Ladder – crowding out.

I’m also thinking of sharing some simple, homemade cleaning product “recipes” for future Green Tips. Would that strike your fancy?

Oh, and here is a JAM for you to groove to. Happy Tuesday!

Taking a quick break from the Whole Foods Ladder to write about a sudden thought that hit me last week. Sometimes I get so excited or moved by writing something that I just need to drop everything and go with the flow.

I love my stretch marks.

It’s an odd statement, I know. And for the men out there – I’m not sure what you think about stretch marks, both when women talk about them and if you have your own. Let me know in the comments. Either way, I love my stretch marks, and that might be unusual. And I’m trying to figure out why. It’s not the kind of love where I jump up and down and get excited and rave all about it (that’s the kind of love I have for sweet potatoes and bumblebees). But I’m actually quite fond of them.

Perhaps it’s a mark of how far I’ve come on the path of self-love. I’ve written so much on this subject, but it is probably the most powerful medicine for healing that I’ve found to date. And as my body continues to heal, my stretch marks, like my feelings about them, transformed from an angry red to a faded, translucent, ethereal silver. They catch the light at different parts of the day and gleam in their healing. They remind me of how far I’ve come.

But more than accepting these marks on my body, I’m proud of them. I’m proud of the struggles, obstacles, frustrations, fears, hurt, and pain that I’ve transcended, because on the other end I’ve found so much love, light, joy and thankfulness. Most of the pain was more emotional than physical, more psychological damage than the ravages on my body. I used to feel bad that I was so young, not even altered by the rite of motherhood, and carried these marks on my body. I’d try and console myself with the idea that at least I was getting thinner as I got older, rather than the opposite. But I let someone else’s message convince me that I had spent the “best years of my life” being at my physical worst.

The best year of your life is every year that you make it so.

That’s all a bunch of bullsh-t. My philosophy on moving through life is that the best year of your life is every year that you make it so. Many people have remarked that I seem older and therefore wiser than my chronological age. I’d rather have this kind of wisdom in my twenties, because already it’s given me a more youthful and optimistic spirit than I had in my teens. It is something that I can carry with me always into motherhood, menopause, and a face covered in wrinkles. If you have joy and gratitude and self-love, aging is something you can enjoy rather than dread. And the person you find to grow old with will only reinforce your love for yourself, rather than your doubts about your appearance.

A preview of things to come?

I love these marks because to me, they carry the reminder that I am whole. I am a brave and active participant in life rather than a timid soul kept on the sidelines by self-loathing. I am well. I am a joyful person and I live a joyful life. They’re a natural tattoo of my gratitude, my resilience, my brightness in the world. They’re marks of love. If you have them, it’s only greater reason to love yourself.