We came to settle the bill;  I automatically went to include extra for a tip, she argued that surely tipping is not mandatory or expected in Australia, and especially not at breakfast.

Obviously in countries like the USA, any guide book will tell you that tipping is expected, and depended on by hospitality staff to supplement their meagre minimum wage; but what about here?  Is tipping still optional, or is it expected?

When do you tip, and how much?  When do you not tip?

Do you decide whether or not to tip (or how much to tip), based on the service you receive?

Gratuitous photo of the baked beans I had for breakfast:

Parisian Patisserie, 19 Keilor Road, North Essendon. (03) 9379 3815

On a frosty Saturday morning, J and I took his mum out for breakfast. She lives in Strathmore, so we decided to visit the new(ish) patisserie on Keilor Rd that my friend Andrea had been telling us about recently.

Parisian Patisserie is owned by Le Cordon Bleu-trained pastry chef Neil McKenzie and his wife Majella, who spent some time living in Paris; they previously owned a couple of other Melbourne patisseries, St Germain in Essendon and French Quarter in North Melbourne.

Apparently the McKenzies’ plan was to “create a portal to Paris in the suburbs” – and sure enough, it does look très Francais. It’s all white decor with black chairs, a counter laden with pretty pastries, lots of petit round tables pour deux lined up along the wall with a banquette on one side.

Looks gorgeous – but you’ll find it hard to get a seat for a party of more than two. The tables are small and close together, so not much space for moving chairs around. There’s a bit more seating out the back down the hallway, but it’s not exactly atmospheric.

Anyway, the food. I had an almond croissant, which I think may well be the best one I’ve ever had. Sooo rich though! Struggled to get through it!

J had a toasted ham and cheese croissant, and his mum had an escargot. Both were very nice, but not quite in the same rock-your-world league as the almond croissant.

Coffee was average. Drinkable, but not great. My latte came in a cup instead of a glass. I’m pretty sure that makes it a flat white, but whatever.

I’d be keen to come back here and try more of the other pastries; the beignets looked good, as did the pains-au-chocolat.

Who am I kidding, I’ll probably just get the almond croissant again. But next time I think I’ll take away rather than eat in.

Footy finals are approaching, so I thought perhaps “Best Meat Pie” might be a handy thing to know before your Grand Final party.

Suggestions, please, as to which pies ought to be included in the tasting? I’m thinking we’d better stick with the basic meat pie, for consistency’s sake.

I had two weeks over there, including Barcelona, Seville, Granada and San Sebastian. I ate my bodyweight in jamon, and drank so much Rioja that my liver threatened a walkout.  I managed to get by with my three beginner’s-classes-worth of Spanish, plus my trusty Lonely Planet phrasebook (although still managed some spectacular faux-pas, such as ordering toast with “donkey” instead of butter).

How was the food? Well, pretty good, and VERY cheap compared to Melbourne. But not mind-blowing. Mostly it was pretty rustic, and actually that was when it was at its best – a simple plate of the best jamon, some crusty bread, and a big bowl of hot pimientos de Padrón.

Enough talking. LET’S GET TO THE FOOD PORN.

Barcelona:

Where I saw some markets that crap all over the Queen Vic; spent 20 euro on a “famous” roast chicken dish that turned out to be pretty much the same as the hot chicken place in Clifton Hill; and discovered that pig’s trotters, for all their nose-to-tail foodie chic, are pretty much just fat and skin. Oh, and ate a lot of fried little fishies.

Seville & Granada:

Seville: where we managed to eat three meals a day, despite nobody speaking any English (which is fair enough, it is Spain after all) and there being no menu in half the tapas bars. There was a lot of pointing at other people’s food. Oh, and there are chips with EVERYTHING. I also ate caracoles (snails), which are far more disturbing-looking than the French escargot. They had little faces and antennae. I kept waiting for one of them to yell “UNFAIR TO SNAILS!!” like Gus from Mr Squiggle.

Granada: where they have free tapas. Yep, you order a beer, they bring you food. Our favourite place was Bodega Castaneda.

San Sebastian:

Where I found my happy place. It’s like Paris, only smaller and cuter, and by the sea. Oh, and cheaper. We ate pintxos (Basque for tapas) pretty much every night; everyone recommended me to go to La Cuchara de San Telmo, which I liked but wasn’t blown away by. We had an amazing three-course lunch at Kaskazuri – spectacular food, wine and coffee included, for 24 euro a head. Unbelievable.

Does anyone have a recipe for tarta de queso? I don’t like cheesecake, but I loooooved the light gooey Spanish version – particularly at La Viña.

Jorg, 203 St Georges Rd, Fitzroy North. www.jorgrestaurant.com.au

I’ve just realised that I didn’t have a suburb tag for Fitzroy North yet! Which just goes to show: there really hasn’t been much in the way of restaurants there until now. (Except for the Moroccan Soup Kitchen, which I can’t stand, but that’s another story.)

Fitzroyals have been eagerly awaiting the opening of new restaurant Jorg, which is on St Georges Road, just before Scotchmer St (it used to be a Video Busters and then was a greengrocers for a while).  And no wonder they’re excited – the chefs behind Jorg are Michael Smith, ex head chef at Jacques Reymond, and Bryce Bernhardt, ex sous chef at Church St Enoteca.

Mick and Maria live just across the road on Best St, and called me last night to tell me it was finally open. J and I met them there, to discover that we were the very first table of punters!

This is not going to be a proper review post, as I think it’s poor form to review a place on their opening night; but from our meal last night, I think it all looks really promising.  I like the space, it’s minimal without being cavernous. Apparently there is a function space out the back for up to 100 people!

The food is loosely “European” – little bit Italian, little bit Spanish. The menu offers sharing-style entrees; the mains are less geared towards sharing, although we did anyway. I’d had a long and foul day at work and was not in the mood for decision making, so our lovely waitress suggested that perhaps the kitchen could just organise a menu for us. FABULOUS – I love not having to choose!

Among the starters, we particularly liked the chicken ribs; and for mains, the pork cutlet was DIVINE. We probably had a bit too much food, and with two bottles of wine it ended up being $320 for 4 people. Which is quite spendy for a impulsive Friday night, but we did have a good time.

I’m off to Spain on Monday (BOOYAH!!), but will do a proper review of Jorg when I get back. In the meantime, let me know if you go, and what you think of it!

I’ve been travelling quite a bit this year, mostly for work; and inevitably the odd flight delay here and cancellation there have resulted in me having to spend a bit of time at Tullamarine. (Time that unfortunately I’ll never get back.)

I’ve tried eating just about everywhere here, and it’s all spectacularly depressing. Even the food chains (McDonalds, Hudsons etc) have been squaloriffic, when usually you could at least count on them to be clean.

Does airport dining have to be hideous? Sydney International now boasts some actual foodie cred, with outposts of city establishments Bambini Wine Bar and Danks Street Depot. Terminal 5 at JFK in New York boasts all sorts of proper gourmet eateries.

I’d like to see Melbourne Airport lift its game. Have you come across any other airports that have decent food options for the food-loving traveller?

Joe Green, 2A Mitchell St, Northcote. Ph (03) 9481 5554

New cafes seem to be spawning like tadpoles in the primal hipster ooze of Northcote. One of the newest is Joe Green. I visited for lunch on a radiantly sunny autumn day with Dan and J.

I really liked the decor; it’s quirky, without looking like it’s trying too hard to be quirky.

Unfortunately that’s where the love ended for me, on this visit.

We ordered whitebait to come out first as a starter – but they weren’t as hot as they should have been if they were cooked to order, and the little fishies weren’t very crispy.

There was nothing to dip them in. Usually fried whitebait will come with aioli or mayonnaise or something. “Oh well, that’s weird,” we thought, and ate a few of the lukewarm fishies anyway. (Well, I was hungry.)  And then a creamy tartare turned up five minutes later, after we’d given up on the whitebait.

The rest of the food turned up reasonably promptly; we ordered the Siciliana pizza, the pasta with lamb ragu, and the radicchio and cos salad.

I probably would have liked the pizza if it didn’t have quite so many capers on it.  Capers are salty little buggers, and in my opinion ought to be used sparingly, like anchovies.

None of us liked the pasta, and we didn’t finish it. To me, the sauce tasted like bottled tomato sauce.

The radicchio and cos salad consisted of about eleven pieces of lettuce in a bowl. It was $6.50 and I felt ripped off. I guess it’s not like it was false advertising – it was, indeed, radicchio and cos – but seriously, $6.50 for that?

Service was friendly, but very patchy, and they weren’t busy.

Apparently the coffee is good here, according to Dan; they use Coffee Supreme. We didn’t stick around to try it.

I hope they can improve the food and service here, it’s a great location and space.

EARL Canteen, 500 Bourke St (Little Bourke St courtyard), Melbourne. www.earlcanteen.com.au

I had arranged to meet my brother Dan for lunch today, so it seemed like an excellent excuse to visit the newly-opened EARL Canteen – a gourmet sandwich bar that opened last week in the little courtyard underneath MoVida Aqui at 500 Bourke St.

(I should mention here that the twittoblogosphere is very excited about EARL, because the people behind it are Jackie [Eating with Jack] and her partner Simon – self-confessed “food nerds”, both with quite the Melbourne hospitality pedigree. Not to mention Duncan’s macarons- but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

EARL Canteen is pretty much a sandwich bar – but not as you know it. Sandwiches, yes, but “gooor-mett” sandwiches.  I ordered the “Bacon Rage” ($13): thick cut Otway bacon, spicy kimchi and green leaves on ciabatta.

I confess that my main motivation for ordering this was my glee at the idea of a  #momofukurage-themed sandwich. Fortunately it was also delicious – the spicy kimchi added a lovely zing and heat to the salty-sweet bacon.  Also had a coffee to accompany my meal – they use Coffee Supreme beans, and make a very pleasant latte.

Dan ordered the Wagyu Meatball ($12.50): Moondarra wagyu meatballs in sugo, with zucchini pickles and shaved parmesan on a baguette.

Again, very tasty, although the meatballs could have been heated up a bit more – they were lukewarm in the middle. And not a sandwich that I’d try and eat on a lunch date, it’s a bit hard to get one’s mouth around without getting meatballs up one’s nose. (A classy look.)

To finish, we had to have macarons “By Duncan”. Duncan writes the Syrup and Tang blog, and is a macaron guru. (In fact I can thank his blog exclusively for teaching me how to successfully make macarons. I use the Italian meringue method, btw.)  Duncan is now also not only writing about macarons, but making them – and exclusively for EARL. That’s a big WOO and HOO for the macaron-loving people of Melbourne!

We tried “Clancy Dark”, finger lime + dark chocolate; and “Yannic Intense”, salted caramel. ($2.50 each.)

I should confess at this point that I never really understood the appeal of macarons before. Yes, I’ve baked them (after seeing Zumbo’s on Masterchef last year), and they’re a nice challenge for a try-hard baker like me… but they never tasted that great, and for all the trouble they took, they weren’t as popular as, say, sponge cake.

Duncan’s macarons? Finally I get what all the fuss is about! I’m now inspired to have another crack at baking them myself. So light and delicate in texture, but very intense in flavour. Macarongasmic.

My only quibble is that they are very small, so the macarongasm is over far too quickly.

Highly recommend EARL for a tasty weekday lunch in the city. In fact I wish to bob there was somewhere like this closer to my work.

And so it was that we came to plan a last minute trip to Europe. As you do. And it’s less than 3 weeks away now!

So, gentle readers: where shall I eat? We’re spending a few days each in Barcelona, Seville, Granada and San Sebastian; then finishing up with two days in Paris, just because it doesn’t seem right to fly all the way over there wihout squeezing in some Paris-time.

Your recs, por favor!

Way back in February, as you may recall, I spent a week in the South Island of NZ. I ate everything in Queenstown, and while I did not drink everything in Central Otago, I gave it a fair crack.

A bit of background: Central Otago is all about the pinot noir, baby – in fact it makes up 85% of vineyard plantings. It’s the most southerly wine-growing region in the world, and apparently has a climate very similar to Burgundy in France. (You can read more about the region at the Central Otago Winegrowers Association website, if you’re so inclined.)

Day 1: Bannockburn

We tasted some excellent single vineyard pinot noirs at Felton Road, and snickered at the saucily-named Nipple Hill Pinot Noir at Olssens, before heading to Mt Difficulty for tastings and rather a tasty lunch. Finished up the day with some rather magnificent pinot gris at Bald Hills.

Day 2: Gibbston Valley

The Gibbston Valley area of Central Otago is only 15 minutes or so out of Queenstown, so we managed to fit in quite a few tastings. Started with Waitiri Creek, whose tasting room is a very cute little chapel, but whose cellar door staff weren’t particularly friendly and charged a tasting fee. Moved on to Peregrine, whose winery is rather spectacular, and some jolly good pinot gris and pinot noir too – I particularly liked the limited release Karearea Pinot Noir.

Lunch was at Brennan Wines, where they offer a nifty little picnic hamper full of cheeses, meats, crackers and fruit, which you can take into the gardens with a glass of wine. And play a bit of petanque, if you are so inclined.

But no rest for the wicked! On to Gibbston Valley Wines, which seemed to me to be all about the merchandising. How many ways can they part the punters with their money? There’s a cheesery, and an icecream shop, and a wine cave where you can pay for tours, and wine “flights” which all cost moolah, and the gift shop, and the restaurant… bleah.  We did a vertical tasting of their pinot noir over four vintages, and it was interesting, but to be honest I found the wine quite pricey for the quality, in comparison to others we’d tasted.

Finally, Chard Farm. Make sure your skipper is sober for this one as it’s quite a hairy drive up a narrow road that’ll have you tumbling down a ravine if your steering is, ahem, under the influence.  Fortunately I was the designated booze hag, with J as the skipper, so I was the only one tasting here! Alas, none of the wines really floated my boat.

Day 3: Rippon (Wanaka)

Actually this was the very first winery we did, as we drove back to Queenstown from Franz Josef Glacier on the west coast via Wanaka.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and say that Rippon, on the banks of Lake Wanaka, may well have the most spectacularly beautiful vineyards in the world. And it’s not just a pretty face – the riesling is to die for, the pinot noir is spectacular, and the gewurztraminer is pretty delicious too.

Ahhh… fun times. Get yourselves to Central Otago, kids. Tell ‘em Kate sent ya.