EconomicPot

DEALING WITH TEENAGERS

2011-10-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

Sibling Rivalry....

Sibling rivalry occurs when a

brothers and sisters fight with each other and don't get along well. Often there is a certain amount of problems that arise

out of one sibling being older that the other and being able to do more than the younger. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of any kid or teens life.

The word rivalry involves the idea of a competition - and that is what most sibling rivalry is - a competition between the two siblings for their parents or others attention.

What's Sibling Rivalry?

Sibling rivalry can be a good thing. Competition is a healthy thing in anyone's lives and rivalry is common amongst siblings. Everyone experiences feelings of rivalry and competition. Often rivalry involves arguing. Everyone argues - adults and children, husbands and wives and even friends. It is important for you to remember that although you may argue with your brother or sister you still need to be fair and supportive to them.

Siblings fight for a number of reasons.

* They fight because they want a parent's attention, and the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.

* They fight because they are jealous: "He got a new bike. I didn't. They must love him more than they love me."

* They fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: "He called me..." "But she called me...first."

* They fight because they are growing up in a competitive society that teaches them that to win is to be better: "I saw it first." "I beat you to the water."

DEALING WITH FRUSTRATION

2011-10-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

The emotion of frustration is a mixture of painful feelings. Some of the accompanying emotions are feeling irritated, even anger, weariness, upset, and unhappiness. When you feel extremely frustrated, your judgment will get distorted. You might lose interest, become critical, or give up and stop taking further action. You might also cover up your dissatisfaction by diverting it through different channels like overeating, binge drinking or any other activities that will replace the frustrating feeling.

Causes of the Emotion of Frustration

When you don't feel satisfied with the result from your efforts.
When you feel letdown.
When someone or something thwarts your plan.
When you feel unappreciated.
If you are living in denial.
When your needs are not met.
From cumulative and mounting challenges.

Dealing with the Emotion of Frustration

Plan out something new or different...

When you don't get the results that you anticipated from your efforts, maybe, just maybe, you have overlooked a few things that you should have done. Go through your list and see what works and what needs deletion.

What you can do now is prepare and plan out a new strategy. Do something else and different from your original plan. The more new and different things that you do, the better are the chances of getting it right. The next thing that you attempt could provide the solution and the result that you desire.

There is always something that you can do to change or improve the results. It may take time but every little thing that you do each day will get you there. Brainstorm new ideas and go ahead and try them.

Gather more information to obtain better ideas. Emulate those who have achieved what you desire and use their experiences to help you through.

Visualize the end result and take control of your thoughts...

Visualize what you want to happen. Don't imagine what you don't want because anything that you experience in your life, you first create it in your mind. Keep focusing on that goal and repeat the visualization exercise as often as possible.

When you encounter roadblocks and barriers, it is difficult to stay motivated. But you can make the emotion of frustration trip shorter when you are able to take control of your thoughts. Accept and acknowledge that "shit happens." It is the ability to challenge your negative self talk that will help you improve how you feel. Change the words and pictures that you describe and interpret things and your feeling will change. If you can't discipline your mind to form new thoughts and pictures, try the powerful words and images tool called MindMaster. It is a tool to help you reach whatever your goals are, easier and faster. Get the free trial.

Acceptance

One of the reasons you get frustrated at work or in your relationships with others is because you want things and people to conform to your needs. It's wasting your effort.

Everyone has his own motives and desires. You cannot make someone change his mind unless he wants to. Of course you can appeal, bribe or threaten. But this method produces a result that is short-lived.

Accept people for what they are. Better yourself instead. Learn to communicate and interact effectively.

If you are upset with your working or living condition, you can either accept and make the best of what you have or better still change, either yourself or the situation.

What if your needs are not met...

If you were a kid, there is a reason for you to have your needs unmet and causes the emotion of frustration. Kids don't have much option. They rely and depend on their parents.

But you are not. You are an adult, a mature and capable oneIf you are dissatisfied with your life experiences, it's partly your fault. You have not done enough or done what you should. You have not communicated your needs clearly. You may not have been honest with yourself or the other person. Or worst, you don't know what you really want and because of that, allowed things to just happen.Happiness is a choice and you are responsible for your own. Do things to meet your own needs. People around you will reciprocate to your enthusiasm.

Trust and have faith...

Trust that there is a solution to what is causing you the emotion of frustration. The result that you are getting now may seem not worth mentioning. Have faith that by putting in more or different concentrated efforts, you are allowing the invincible power to give you what you are expecting. Strengthen your mind and spirit...through the tough times and think only about the next tiny step you can take to make a difference. Take time to reflect each day, listen to your hunches and promptings and trust your intuition. They can lead you to the right direction and give you the answers that you need.

Release and let go of emotional block...

An event or incident that happened in your past is stored inside you and is contributing the your present state. Unless you release this memory, you will feel frustrated every time something that look or feel similar occur. Just let go !

5 THINGS A MAN NEEDS TO DO IN A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

2011-10-20T04:17:00.000-07:00

What kind of man does a woman really want?

Here are five of the lessons I learned on my journey for wisdom on what a man in a relationship should be:

Lesson #1: Take responsibility

Learn from Adam. Don't do things you know are wrong and then blame others. If you make a mistake, take responsibility for your actions. One of the meanings of the word "husband" is someone who skillfully manages his household. A manager takes responsibility. As Adam experienced, there is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman for something that has gone wrong. He's often still held responsible. People will ask him, "Why did you let it go on?" A man has to look at himself and see how he can change his own actions to properly handle similar situations.

Lesson #2: Show leadership

If a man wants to be seen as worthy and have a good relationship with a woman, he has to show leadership. When he sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations. We don't admire those who stand back and wait for others to solve the problem.

Some men avoid taking the lead because they don't want to be criticized. They think they're playing it safe. A man should say, "I'll handle it," and take the initiative to find solutions. If he's not sure what the solution is, do what other leaders do -- consult the many sources of information available.

Lesson #3: Make decisions

One of the meanings of the word "manly" is being decisive. A man needs to make decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. If he's reluctant to make decisions, she may resent him. Part of making decisions is understanding the other person's views and being flexible. She doesn't want someone controlling her, but she also doesn't want someone who leaves every decision to her. A man who is afraid of making a wrong decision should ask himself: Who should make decisions? -- someone who isn't afraid of making mistakes.

Lesson #4: Be strong

The Talmud asks: Who is strong? He who can control his passions (Ethics of the Fathers, 4:1). Someone who can control his anger is better than a physically strong man who can conquer a city. Blowing up in anger can seriously damage a relationship. If a man thinks he can't control his anger, he should imagine being angry at someone, the telephone rings and it's his boss. Would he calm down? Of course, or he'd lose his job. Not getting angry doesn't mean he accepts bad treatment; he calmly sets limits on the treatment he accepts from others.

Lesson #5: Be manly

Being manly is not being macho. Manliness is the positive qualities of decisiveness, strength in one's convictions, confidence, self-reliance, high moral qualities, self discipline, honesty and integrity. A man who is manly has courage to be able to deal with difficulty, pain or danger without backing away despite his fear.

To women: ask your husband to read this. To men: ask your wife if this is what she wants. You may be surprised at her response.

7 Things to Consider Before You Get Married

2011-10-20T03:35:00.000-07:00

You want a rewarding and fulfilling marriage? You can have one, but you need a dose of reality first. Here are things you need to say “I do” to before walking down the aisle…

1. Have a sense of Humour
A sense of humor is vital, and the first person you have to laugh at is yourself. Consider this- men and women have to hook up on some level to propagate the species, proving God has a sense of humor. He obviously assumed we would too.

2. Do you know you’ll have to work? Hard?
I solicited the opinion of dozens of women for this topic, and the feedback was unanimous. You have to be willing to work. Some women think if you’re a perfect match, your marriage shouldn’t be work. Those people are called divorcees. It’s true your marriage shouldn’t be work every hour of every day, but there will be days when your marriage will require extra energy (a term I prefer over “work”). Like Grandpa used to say, anything worth having is worth working for. Welcome to Marriage 101.

3. Do you realize marriage is not 50/50?
Gotcha! You figure you’ll give half, he’ll give half and you’ll meet somewhere in the middle. You poor, poor dear. The reality is, there will be some days you’ll give 90% and you may or may not get 10% back. There may be weeks or months that pass with the scales out of whack. Remember- you committed your whole life to him, and in your lifetime the scales will shift back in your favor. Interestingly, the scales will align faster if you abandon the scorecard and self-pity.

4. Do you have a general acceptance of your significant other’s shortcomings?
Does he leave the toilet seat up? Get over it. Are his table manners a fright? Look the other way. Is he a tight-wad? You better be at one with strict budgets. Try seeing your new hubby’s annoying habits as endearing. In addition to his positive traits, his quirks make him who he is. Figure out a way to truly accept the whole package- the good, the bad and the ugly.

5. Do you have expectations of your marriage or soon-to-be-spouse?
If you said “I do” to this one, start goggling divorce attorneys now. Fundamental expectations like being treated well, being faithful, or being honest are covered by your wedding vows. If you want a long lasting marriage, let go of any romance novel or Lifetime movie expectations you have. The men in Hollywood are actors. Real men, generally speaking, are not geared for romance and eloquent, loving speeches. With this attitude, you’ll better enjoy the thoughtful little things your new husband does. Lowered expectations and happily ever after go hand in hand.

6. Do you know comparisons are a death sentence for marriages?
Like fingerprints, marriages are unique and specific to the two individuals involved and the one-of-a-kind bond they create. Instead of scowling at your husband when your friend brags about the romantic vacation her husband took her on, just smile. Maybe your friend left out how her husband ogled other women on the beach or said something at dinner that made her cry. You never know what goes on behind closed doors- be secure in what you and your husband share and the knowledge that it works for you.

7. Do you know your fiancé is bilingual?
Read a couple books about how men communicate or have a sit-down with your aunts and grandma. We think we grasp the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus concept, but we don’t. He may not say “I love you” 14 times a day, but he might fill your car when it’s out of gas, maybe he’ll cover you with a blanket when you’re cold, he may bring you a glass of wine when you’re in the tub, or he might listen to stories about the kids when he just wants to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. You have to learn to read, understand and appreciate man-speak.

In order for a marriage to be successful, reality can’t be sugar-coated. Long term commitments are not for the faint of heart. A lasting union takes a great deal of love, patience, true grit and guts. The benefits are countless. I’ll leave you to discover those on your own.

Understanding Jealousy

2011-10-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Is Jealousy a Wasted Emotion or a Healthy Response?

The Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines jealousy as, “intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness, disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness.” It sounds simple but jealousy is a very complex emotion.

Understanding Jealousy

Jealousy is a reactionary emotion so by its very nature it has a reason. Jealousy is a very natural and normal emotional response to a perceived threat. Getting jealous is not necessarily bad. Problems arise when your jealousy gets unmanageable and your behaviors get out of control.

3 KINDS OF JEALOUSY:

Irrational Jealousy:

This is a type of jealousy brought on by imagined or misperceived events. Irrational jealousy is never healthy. It is based on paranoia and insecurity not in reality. People suffering from an irrational jealousy rely heavily on their feelings that something is wrong even though there are no real signs that these feelings have merit.

Without reliable external validation of their jealousy irrationally jealous individuals often sink in to a depression based on paranoia. They are convinced that they are right to be jealous even when the evidence does not support their beliefs. It is very difficult to show them the truth.

Irrational jealousy is best treated by therapy. If you find yourself feeling jealous often and can’t calm yourself with rationalization consider seeking professional help.

Destructive Jealousy:

Destructive jealousy is based in reality. The emotional threat that is provoking the jealousy is real and can be backed up with external evidence. The reasons for the jealousy are valid. The way this jealousy plays out is the problem.

When feeling a destructive jealousy people usually lash out at the person or people who have caused them harm. It is an angry jealousy that is based in revenge. It is not an effective protection mechanism because the focus is on hurting back not reaching a solution.

The best way to manage a destructive jealousy is by getting counseling. In counseling you will be able to talk through the situation with an impartial third party. You will get to vent in a safe environment. In counseling you will likely learn anger management techniques to help you control your need for revenge.

Proactive Jealousy:

Proactive jealousy is a jealousy that is based on a real threat to ones emotional security. The purpose of any jealousy is to avoid being hurt or to lessen hurt that has already happened but sometimes jealousy makes people do crazy things. A proactive jealousy rarely manifests as violence or self harm. While anger is a part of this type of jealousy it never takes control of actions.

This type of jealousy works as a protection mechanism. The jealous feelings lead to productive actions, like ending a bad relationship or getting out of an unhealthy friendship. The primary concern of this type of jealousy is self preservation not revenge or retribution.

Controlling Jealousy

Jealousy is a form of anger brought on by a fear of loss. Controlling jealousy is very much like controlling anger. When you feel yourself growing jealous the first thing you must do is calm down. Take some deep breaths, try to relax and then take an honest look at the situation.

Never allow yourself to go off in a jealous rage, it takes away from any validity to your feelings and makes it very easy for others to dismiss you. Approach the situation in a calm but stern fashion. State your point of view without throwing around accusations and keep the emphasis on how what is happening makes you feel.

Avoid pointing the finger or calling out others on their behaviors. Own the jealousy for what it is, your reaction, and try to reach a real solution rather than just vent your hurt feelings. A little venting is healthy but try to keep the focus on the real problem.

Learn From Jealousy

Listen to what the other people have to say about the situation that has provoked a jealous response from you. Their perspective may be very different from yours and it is possible that you don’t have the full story about what is going on. There are many innocent situations that can be misinterpreted as something sinister. Make sure you know as much as possible before getting jealous.

Jealousy exists to protect you from harm, not to control the behavior of others. It is an emotion that can get out of control if you let it. Your can never control another person but you can help yourself when that person is hurting you. Healthy jealousy can help you identify and deal with some of life’s more unpleasant lessons.

7 Ways to Building Trust in a Relationship

2011-10-18T05:17:00.000-07:00

1. Be predictable. Forget the magazines and TV shows that say you must stir up the pot. It’s nonsense. Being consistent and reliable goes much, much further than that in terms of trusting your partner.

2. Your words must match what you do. In so many words, you need to show sincerity with your words. They say verbal cues are a very small part of total communication and that is so true. I call it “passive aggressive” when you are unhappy but show a happy face. But I think you know what I mean here.

3. You have to trust your partner’s instinct. I mean come on here! How can you expect anybody for that matter, to trust you if you don’t trust them? Trusting is a two way street.

4. Don’t lie by omission. Don’t keep secrets from your partner. Because once your partner finds out about something you are keeping a secret (and believe me they will), you better believe they won’t be able to trust you anymore. And why keep secrets from your partner? You have to keep track of the lies to build bigger lies to bury the previous lies. And it goes on and on. It is way too much work. In my opinion, it is a total energy waster that can be easily made to go away by telling the truth.

5. Don’t expect your Partner to know what you need.Your partner isn’t a mind reader. It is OK to be literal here. And don’t worry, you won’t seem selfish here because your partner knows that relationships is give and go. Being reluctant to communicate your needs to your partner will just worry them needlessly. So tell your partner what you want !

6. Be willing to say “No.” if need be. Suppose your partner communicates a needs that you don’t want to give, it is OK to say no. On the other hand, it is OK for your partner to ask. But think about it this way, your partner will respect you more if you don’t say yes to everything. Being a separate person helps build trust in a relationship.

7. A relationship is a living and breathing thing. It takes work for it to be a handsome tree rather than a sickly bush. Don’t be afraid to deal with crisis, emotions and questions from your relationship. You should embrace it and look for solutions that will bring you closer. Continue to grow your relationship!

Six Steps on How to Become More Influential

2011-10-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Success requires influence. To achieve your goals, you need to get people to think, feel and act differently. And you are not alone. Everyone else is hoping to be influential too, so you have to be more influential than your competitors to win. When you are highly influential, you set the course and others will help you along the way - they will help you to become successful. Without influence you are likely to be an also ran, the runner up or more likely - you will come last!

1. Assess Your Skills. Give yourself a score out of 10 for each of the seven dimensions of influencing skill - 10 being perfect. The dimensions are Self Awareness; Understanding Others; Understanding Groups; Influencing Others; Influencing Groups; Networking and Building Trust.

2. Prioritise One Dimension. Which of these, if improved, would give you the biggest gain? They are all important but some are more important depending on your situation. Now figure out three actions you can take to become better in this area.

3. Focus Your Personal Power. This is what makes you influential without even acting. These are the assets you own (either tangible or intangible) which cause people to do, think or feel differently. Which of the ten sources of personal power could you build on? The ten are Network; Intrapersonal; Interpersonal; Force; Technical; Image; Impact; Status; Resource and Physical. Identify one area and find three actions you can take.

4. Consider Your Style. The manner or behaviour you use when you try to influence can make or break your attempt. Different people have different styles and you can flex your style to suit. So review the type of behaviour you prefer, how this differs from those you want to influence and find ways to become more flexible. Identify one person to adopt a different style with.

5. Get Feedback. With all of these steps it really helps if you can use some trusted friends as a sounding board. How do they see you? What do they think you could improve on? No point in continuing to delude yourself - so get real and find out what they think so you can start to improve. Talk to one person within the next week.

6. Focus on Goals. This is the key - make sure that you apply all of the above on a specific goal you want to influence. This helps you to implement your learning and move forward your success. Define two goals for today.

These steps cover all of the main areas you need to focus on to become more influential. If you use these to find things to do to improve, you will always be moving forward.

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE INFLUENTIAL...

2011-10-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

Becoming more influential requires hard work, energy and commitment. No surprise there! However it is easier than you may think. Often it just requires a little clear thinking, and refocusing your development time.

Amazing Message Required

If you want people to listen to you and spread your message, you have to tell them an amazing story. Average just won’t do. In most aspects of life, 85% effort will get you close enough, but not when you’re trying to change the world. You need to tell a sensational story that people are eager to listen to and you have to live that story, not just talk about it.

That’s why Everett Bogue lives with less than 100 things. This is why Adam Baker traveled the world with his wife and toddler. Johnny B. Truant calls this storyselling; you have to sell every idea you have.

Don’t just tell it, live it. You can use all the strategies that make up the rest of the Guerrilla Influence Formula, but if you don’t do this part first, you won’t get anywhere.

Be clear and consistent.

Create a compelling elevator pitch that quickly describes what you’re all about and tell it over and over again. Make people want to ask you more about it. Work your pitch into every aspect of what you do online and offline.

Always show complete confidence in yourself even when you’re just getting started. People must know that you believe in yourself before they’ll believe in you.

Speak to your audience, not yourself.

Every time you say something, think very hard about why you’re saying it. Make sure that the message you send will help the people you’re talking to, not just yourself.

This seems simple, but it’s all too easy to forget. What if I had just announced my product today and didn’t offer anything else? Would you have found that useful? Would you still be reading?

Pay attention to your reputation.

Branding is not just for big businesses, it’s for you, too. Whether or not you’re trying to, you’re building a brand with each thing that you do, everything you say, how you look, and who you hang out with. This is what forms your reputation.

Since you’re going to establish a brand whether you want to or not, you might as well put some thought into it.

Hold passion & authenticity as guiding principles.

These two qualities go hand in hand, and displaying them is the best chance you have at getting people to pay attention to what you care about. They’re also extremely vague and hard to nail down.

Finding your passion does not mean finding what inspires you every single day. For me, no such thing exists. No matter how excited I am about something, I know I’ll eventually get temporarily bored. Finding your passion means finding the things that will motivate you to keep digging after you reach that boredom. It’s looking at something and saying, “even when I go through a dip and feel like quitting, I’ll still be committed to keep going.”

Being authentic means looking at yourself as a whole and asking if what you’re about to do makes sense. If it doesn’t, you can be sure it doesn’t make sense to anyone else either.

Focusing constantly on these two things and finding where they intersect is the most important factor there is to creating something people will care about.

Be insanely useful and tell a story.

You can create the most useful “how-to…” instructions in the world, but if you can’t insert them into a story that people can visualize and relate to, you’ll bore them and they’ll leave. If you only tell stories and don’t relate them to a lesson that people can apply to their lives, you don’t really have a message.

Put those two together, though, and you have something that will engage and help people. That’s what draws a crowd.

It’s okay to be persuasive.

If you want to change something, you need an agenda. If you want that agenda to be successful, you need to sell it. There’s a common sentiment that people don’t like to be sold to or persuaded. It’s not true. They don’t like to be pushed.

People love to be persuaded as long as it fits with their own worldview. When your view conflicts with someone else’s, that’s when there are problems. By focusing your message and being persuasive, you’ll grab the attention of the right people and others will simply move on.

Be uniquely you.

Make people value your message by showing them that you’re the only person they can get it from. Focus on your message (even when it gets hard), be authentic, and talk to people like you’re having a conversation, not reading a text book.

Be a contrarian and shine a light on the things that everyone agrees on but aren’t actually founded.

When you hold uniqueness as a virtue, you can’t be copied (at least not successfully), and people will always come to you to get “the original.”

Take a stand.

Avoid false dichotomies, but don’t be afraid to draw a line in the sand. When you truly believe in something, don’t be wishy washy – say what you think.

Yes, you’ll turn some people away, but you’ll fiercely attract people that agree with you.

Make people want to share your message.

No, you can’t make a difference by yourself, but everyone that you recruit can help you. If you want to succeed, you have to make people want to spread the word and just asking them to won’t work. If you focus on all the tips above, you should be a long way down this road already.

Solve real problems for real people, make it extremely relatable to everyday life, and nudge people to share it by making it their idea instead of yours.

How to Relax and Enjoy your Weekend

2011-10-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

1. Eat a nice hot breakfast such as frozen waffles, pop tarts, pancakes, you name it! Along with that, a cup of hot tea or coffee is recommended. Also, orange juice is a great morning drink, because it will give you all the energy you need for the day of relaxation!

2. Take a long, hot shower or bath to get you up and awake, then either get in a clean pair of pajamas or a comfortable outfit such as sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

3. Get on the computer, watch your favorite show, listen to music, etc.

4. Eat again then relax and do whatever suits your interests. Some interesting ideas are to meditate, read, do your hair, dress up for fun, whatever your heart desires!

5. If you're home alone, then let loose and be yourself completely. Do something silly or stupid, scream, release all the week's stress in some just plain dumb ways. You'll feel much better.

6. If it's raining outside and your parents or whoever agrees, go walk in the rain; or if you dare, dance in the rain! Just have fun.

7. Get something to look forward to. Think about that long assembly that gets you out of school on Monday or your favorite movie being aired on TV.

Tips:

To have fun, you can do anything! If you truly can't think of anything, you can always call an old friend.

Another great idea to release the week's stress is to write down your thoughts & feelings.

Resist the urge to check on work, call the office or check office emails. Unless you are required.

Turn off your cell phone.

Don't spend time around friends from work since work will almost always come up.

Plan a few things to do. You'll feel like you got the most out of your weekend. Take a tour, read a book, visit friends or family, do something constructive yet rewarding.

Try not to get yourself into trouble! If you want to have a nice relaxing weekend then that won't be very good.

Warnings !:

If you are required to work, this article is not encouraging you to skip work. If you need to, wait until a weekend you have off.

Seriously, try not to get into trouble.

If you have kids then this could become a big problem when trying to relax. Get a babysitter.

Don't get overly stressed. This is the weekend, after all.

Do not get too bored.

Have a blissful weekend...

5 Ways to Plan Your Time

2011-10-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

Its hard to plan out your time when you are a freelancer or small business owner. Everything is your responsibility, and its constantly demanding your attention. Especially in a business like web development where you may be handling projects and tasks on a rotating basis, it can be very difficult to get into a regiment of tasks that help maintain a sense of normalcy from week to week. Here are five tips to help you better plan your time before you spend it.

1. Keep a calendar

One of the most under appreciated things I received in high school was a daily calendar from my school. At the time I didn't think it was important, but it was used as your hall pass so everybody brought them with them. I actually used it, and I wrote down the day's homework. Today, I have a different method, but with similar purpose. I have a plain calendar printed from the computer that I use to schedule my time. I project at least 3 days in advance, and have items written in far in advance, such as due dates and goals. The most important aspect is that I block out a certain number of hours that I plan to dedicate to a specific project, and I stick to my limits.

2. Use a time tracker

Nothing helps you realize you are wasting time like a clock staring at you, wasting away the hours. I actually find it a bit intimidating, so I have a program that runs in the toolbar out of my constant sight, but within easy reach. Keep track of your time. You can use a program that calculates it for you, use a spreadsheet and log the hours after each task, or use pen and paper to keep track. Whatever works for you, do it for everything. I even keep track of time that I spend doing things I cannot bill for, such as emailing and twitter time.

3. Spend time planning

I usually spend half an hour each Sunday/Monday to plan the week. I don't waste a lot of time doing it, but using my calendar I find it is very helpful to have a general plan of action. 30 minutes of planning probably saves me 3 hours of wasted time a week, and that is a net profit of time. It also helps you to anchor your week by starting with a short period of reflection. Its amazing how easy it is to lose track of what is most important, and this time also great for prioritizing your tasks.

4. Plan for flexibility

I plan to work 8 hours a day, but I block out only 6 hours with specific tasks and some days even less. That is because I don't always know if a task will take me 2 hours or 3 hours, but in reality it might take 4. Planning flexibility is the key, and not planning all of your time will help to keep you from getting overwhelmed and stressed.

5. Get into regular habits

The key of everything here is to have a regular routine. I spend a lot of time on new projects, so I have to find ways to regulate how I deal with new projects as well as projects that are in progress. I have to stop myself when its time to quit, and spend time planning. A routine will make you better able to predict your work load, plan into the future, and help you when you are ready for a vacation.

Following these five simple tricks to improving your time management will help you to take control of your time. May you do more, in less time!

A-Z singing advice....

2011-10-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

You don't have to learn it all in one day!. for those who love to sing...

A = ARTICULATE. Using your articulators (lips, teeth, tip of the tongue) more specifically to create your words will help you sing better and more easily. So many of us swallow our articulation (meaning farther back in our mouth) and that habit gets in the way of resonance, tone placement and other important singing mechanics. To improve your skill, quickly say the articulator tongue twister five times in a row: “lips, teeth, tip of the tongue. Lips, teeth, etc.” Be sure to really concentrate on exaggerating the movements with the articulators. See where all the action is? That is where you feel the action of articulation when you sing. Keep in mind that you will probably feel like you are moving them in a ridiculous fashion if you are not used to using them actively. Check a mirror, you’ll probably be surprised.

B = BUILD YOUR SONG PERFORMANCE. Think about how a well-constructed roller coaster builds in intensity and suspense throughout the ride. Your song should have the same sort of ups and downs. For the best results, plan the dynamics (volume and intensity) of your singing. Don’t just sing as powerfully as you can from the get go. Figure out the emotional and natural build of the music and sing accordingly. As an example using a basic song form, you would do your initial build from Verse 1 through Chorus 1, bring them back a bit for Verse 2 only to get a slightly bigger build (than the peak of Chorus 1) on Chorus 2 before exploding into the bridge. Remember, singing is as much an art form as a skill.

C = COPE WITH UNEXPECTED SINGING EVENTS and challenges the smart way. Figure out which part of your vocal instrument is out of balance and make an instant adjustment. If you are not sure what actually makes up your “vocal instrument” you would definitely benefit from learning vocal mechanics.

D = DARE TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. So many singers practice the same song, the same way, over and over and over again. If it didn’t work the first twenty times, why is it going to work the twenty-first? Try altering different aspects of your singing and attempt to find an easier way to accomplish your best sound. For example, increase/decrease articulation, increase/decrease the amount of airflow, increase/decrease diaphragm support, alter tone placement, alter resonance…get the picture?

E = ENERGY NOT EFFORT. This is one of the most confusing concepts in singing. Energy in the tone is what we want and Effort is something we want to desperately to avoid. Energy is created naturally when our vocal instrument is in balance and our body is involved in the singing process. It feels good. It feels easy. Sometimes it occurs naturally and other times we may have to make adjustments. Effort usually occurs when singers use their throat muscles/membranes and vocal cords improperly to create volume. We should actually feel and see very little happening in our throat area.

F = FEATHERS. When learning to sing your full range and accomplish the desired one voice (same power with similar tone throughout the whole range) singers often experience cracks and breaks. One way to test this is to practice a siren. Slide on the syllable “he” from the bottom of your range to the top. If you do not experience cracks or breaks, try it on all syllables at all volumes. When you find yourself faced with this challenge, it is the common response to “try harder” or “give more effort” on those notes. This is not the way to solve this issue. What you want to do is to lighten up just a bit on these notes, let them float like a feather instead of trying harder and stomping on them. Understand that most often this is caused because muscles and membranes not having the memory they need to make the transition you require, as quickly as you want it made. Repetition will give them memory, so keep practicing. Lighten up just a bit on those notes and sing through the break. Don’t develop the habit of stopping when you “crack” or it will come back to bite you later.

G = GET OVER IT and GO FOR IT. So many talented young singers come into my studio with a good voice and with work, really shine on their vocal skills…but when it comes to performance they suffer the “I’m afraid I’ll look stupid” syndrome. Why do we do that? We see music videos and concerts every day when artists give us their all, and yet we feel less stupid singing like a statue than we do really going for it? Makes no sense, but this is not a random occurrence. And unfortunately, when you don’t really “perform” the song, you will never be able to give your absolute best performance. Why? Performance involves some sort of emotional connection with the song, when you put the emotion on your face and in your body, you will sing completely differently than the statue, no matter how knowledgeable.

H = HUMMING. Humming should be easy and sound alive. If you cannot hum well, you are not singing up to your potential. Humming is a good way to determine which part of your vocal instrument is not warmed up or pulling its weight. When you hum you should be able to feel the resonant vibration on the front of your face.

I = INCREASE YOUR AIR SPEED for high notes and decrease your air speed for lower notes. Each frequency requires a specific air speed to create the absolute best tone. Many singers push too much air, too quickly, while singing low notes in an attempt to make the note louder. All this does is add stress and tension to the tone. Use your ears to tell you when the proper balance is reached. The tone should sound clear and pure before adding stylistic nuances.

J = JAW TENSION. Most people don’t realize how tense their jaw is…because it feels perfectly natural to them. Be sure to stretch out your face and jaw muscles and even make a specific point to monitor your jaw when singing to be sure it truly is relaxed. If your jaw is tense, you will not receive your best tone and perhaps even have trouble hitting some of the higher tones.

K = KEEP IT CLEAN. When practicing your vocal skills focus on creating a pure and clear tone first, free of airiness, rasp and other tonal changes added for stylistic purposes. If you cannot create a clear tone full of life and energy, you are not singing up to your potential.

L = LIFT YOUR DIAPHRAGM. So many singers learn to “belly breath” (breathe into the belly) and therefore tend to think that lifting their diaphragm feels similar to holding in their stomach. You can sing like this, but you are only using half your resources and not making full use of the power provided by the muscles in the back. To get your best breath for singing, you want to fill up your abdomen like an inner tube, you should feel expansion all the way around your body…yes, even in your back. Then to compress the air and support the vocal tone release, you lift the diaphragm muscle straight up from the center of your body. If you are used to the other way, it takes some practice to get the new diaphragm muscle memory, but well worth the effort!

M = MONEY NOTES MATTER. Let’s face it. If you are singing a song with a big money note, let’s be real. You can knock the rest of the song out of the park, but if you miss the money note that’s all your audience will remember. A lot of times singers miss money notes because they are worried about it and if you even think for a moment that it “might not happen” you just increased your odds of it not happening by a great deal. Usually it is only one or two notes of a phrase that reach that “money” potential. When you focus specifically on the note, you compartmentalize it and tell your subconscious to watch out for it. Instead, in practice try concentrating on the phrase. Figure out how to use the phrase to your advantage. Sometimes changing your placement on the note(s) just before your money note can make a huge difference. And of course, during performance…see yourself hitting that note like a pro. If you can see it and you believe it, you’ll hit it almost every time.

A money note is a music industry slang term which refers to a part of a live or recorded singing performance which is subjectively judged to be very dramatic or emotionally stirring. Created from a confluence of composition or improvisational and performance quality, this is usually at a climactic point of a song or aria, in which the singer's melody makes a large interval jump to the song's highest note (especially for female soprano singers or male tenor or countertenor singers) or falls to its lowest note (especially for male bass or baritone singers). In some cases, a section or phrase of a vocal melody may captivate the listener's interest because of the tone quality of the singing-either because of the strident emotionalism, or due to the quiet sensitivity of the voice. As well, a "money note" might be an impressive vocal display or a note which is held for a long time with clear pitch and expressive vibrato.

N = NEVER LET THEM SEE YOU SWEAT. The perception of the audience is the reality. Say that out loud, “the perception of the audience is the reality.” What they think is true, is true. So if you sing with confidence and handle that “creative” phrase you accidentally added like a professional, most of your audience will be convinced that you meant to sing it that way. Professionals sing creative nuances, amateurs make mistakes.

O = ONE VOICE. If you have been around organized singing groups or perhaps even studied training you have probably heard these terms: chest voice, middle voice, head voice and belt voice. Some singers have even had the misfortune of studying under these kinds of principles…unfortunately that usually means they can’t sing very many songs and still sound like one person. When they go up for that higher note in the phrase they end up switching to some hooty, covered, “head voice” sound. We won’t go into the foundation of these terms here, but know that your goal as a singer is to manage the balance of resonance in all cavities so you can sing from low to high with a consistent tone.

P = PLACEMENT OF YOUR TONE refers to where the tone is centered. Mastering tone placement will make your singing incredibly easy and consistent. Some people are born with the skill of good tone placement and others have to really work at it. To get technical, there is both a horizontal and vertical placement. For example: horizontal placement, the tone can be centered at the front of your mouth, the middle or the back (back never preferred). For example: vertical placement, draw a line from the middle of your chin to the top middle of your head. The higher the note, the higher the placement.

Q = QUIT SINGING THROUGH YOUR NOSE. Nasal tone qualities occur when there is too much resonance in your nasal cavity and not enough sympathetic resonance or overtones being created in other cavities. One quick fix is to simply open your mouth taller.

R = RESONANCE. Resonance is commonly defined as the “key to your signature voice.” As singers, we are far more interested on how we manipulate it that it’s textbook definition. Resonance is created by the sound wave/frequency you are creating is shaped and amplified by dancing in a resonating cavity (chest, mouth, nasal, sinus). The resonating cavity we have the most control over is the size and shape of our mouth. So play around with the size and shape of the mouth to hear changes in your resonance. With regard to mouth shape, taller is preferred over wider.

S = SING THE STORY. Singing is acting through song. Why sing the song and not convey the message? Get emotionally involved with the lyrics. Figure out what would make you spontaneously speak the words and sing them conviction.

T = THINK SING. The most efficient way to learn a song is actually to NOT sing it right away. By listening to a song you can learn what you are supposed to do a lot faster, without creating any bad habits you are only going to have to break later. If you can think sing a song from beginning to end, anticipating every breath and melody nuance, then you are ready to sing. It’s like a playbook for football. Study the play first before jumping in the game. Not successfully “think singing” the song before you actually sing it is like a ball player running around the field with no idea of the play.

U = UNIFY YOUR VOWELS. You know how you can sing one word on a specific note easily, but another word seems much harder? You could probably use some practice and training on unifying your vowels. The ability to unify your vowels and make them sound as if they come from one instrument, having about the same high and low frequencies and blended with no cracks or breaks is one skill that separates the accomplished singer from an amateur.

V = VOLUME AND POWER. Volume and power should be gained by using the muscles in the back and abdomen. If you are losing your voice after 4-6 songs or if you hear a lot of “effort” in your tone (it doesn’t float in a pure fashion), then you are probably using your throat.

W = WISHING. Wishing your voice was pro quality won’t get it there. You’d be surprised what one hour of specific vocal practice five days a week can do. Sorry, this doesn’t usually apply to singing your favorite songs during commute time or singing the same song over and over again in your bedroom. While you may make some improvement this way, making a productive practice vocal plan would be much more efficient and of course, help you make much faster progress.

X = (E)XERCISE YOUR VOICE REGULARLY. So many singers shy away from actually doing exercises, claiming they can train and warm up by singing their favorite songs. While some professionals will do this in a pinch, most of them train using exercises and warm up their voice prior to performance the same way. Pros know that warm ups will take you through muscle movements that a song never could. Not only will warm ups tell you where you voice is “not awake”, but using them during training can help you develop necessary muscle memory for difficult passages you encounter later. Today it is easy to accomplish these tasks as there are many vocal exercise CDs available and even karaoke style vocal warm ups now available at http://VocalWarmups.com. Here is another quick tip…when you go to sing your song, you should be singing it like you sing the vocal exercises. Most of us will exercise with good placement, support, resonance, etc., but when we add words and our favorite melody all that goes out the window. Work at being consistent. If we were a football quarterback, would we practice throwing the ball one way and then throw it completely differently during a game? I don’t think so.

Y = YOUR STYLE. So many students avoid improving certain mechanical skills because they claim that it is their style. While it is true that certain things a singer does, shape of their mouth, how they pronounce words, etc., contributes to their signature voice… improving how you create your tone will only make your signature voice better. Don’t back away from understanding your voice; learn all you can about your instrument in order to create your best sound.

Z = ZEN. The show must go on! Sometimes we can’t help but let our emotions and personal life circumstances affect our performances. We are human, after all. However, with practice and meditation you can learn to clear you head and totally focus on connecting with your song and the appropriate emotions of your selection, instead of whatever else was distracting you. Your body language and expression communicate your focus…but it’s your eyes that communicate your thoughts most of all.

How to Stick to Your Goals

2011-10-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean...

Have you ever been doing great with a goal or habit change — exercise, waking early, becoming organized, eating healthy, anything — and your progress was completely disrupted because of some major event in your life (death, marriage, illness, work, etc.)?

Of course you have. It’s happened to all of us.

Life gets in the way.

Fortunately, although we often give up our goals when something like this happens, a life event that disrupts your progress doesn’t have to sidetrack your goal completely. You can overcome this obstacle — and it is an obstacle, just like any other.

This is an awesome question, because it’s so true to life. Things happen to all of us … but the real determination is how do we deal with them. Do we get discouraged and give up, or do we figure out a way around and keep going?

Here’s the thing: the path to every goal is littered with obstacles. You must, must, must, absolutely must anticipate that you will run into obstacles … figure out ways around them … and keep going.

Here’s how to do that:

1. Anticipate, anticipate:Think ahead. What obstacles do you see on the horizon? What obstacles have you run into in the past? What will change your routine? Weekends are a mini-obstacle that often seem to derail people trying to create a habit. But there are other changes in routines … holidays, summer, big events, changes at work, birthdays … these are often things you can anticipate and plan for. When you see something coming up on the horizon that might derail you, plan for it. Make it a part of your plan.

2. Find the path:When you see an obstacle, are you just going to give up? I hope not. An obstacle is just something we have to get around, or over … it’s not a reason to quit. So instead of quitting, ask yourself: how do I get around this obstacle? There’s always a solution, if you’re creative enough.

Sometimes there isn’t just one path. And it can be hard to decide which solution to choose. But don’t fret: choose one path, and see if it works. If it doesn’t, try another. Life is an experiment.

3. Two steps forward, one step back: You will face some setbacks every now and then. That’s a part of achieving any goal worth achieving — if it were too easy, it’s not a worthy goal.

But instead of seeing the setback as something discouraging, just accept it as a part of the journey. “Two steps forward, one step back,” is what I always tell myself … and it’s a realization that even with setbacks, I’m still making forward progress over the long run.

For example, I’ve had some setbacks when it comes to my exercise habit. I often seem to get sick after a few weeks of continuous exercise. But though illness has set me back a few times, I’ve now learned to see it as a welcome break, allowing my body to recover. Think of it as a time out … you’re allowed to rest when you’re sick, and when you get better, you’ll be recharged and ready to start again.

4. If you fall, get up, and learn from it: All of us fail, from time to time. No one is successful all the time. But instead of letting failure stop us completely, you just need to get up and dust yourself off … and this part is important: learn from your experience. When you fail, ask yourself: why did I fail? What stopped me? What obstacles got in my way? And how can I get around them next time it happens (and yes, it will happen again). And plan for next time.

5. Find new motivation : Sometimes a setback will leave us not only derailed, but demotivated. So the real problem is finding the motivation to start again. So, it helps to get back to the basics: what made you want to start in the first place? What was your reason for change? What motivated you? Thinking about that, and the benefits it will have in your life, and the way things will be once you’ve accomplished the goal, can help motivate you.

But I also recommend adding additional motivators, to help jump start you. Read this article about motivation, and these articles for more.

6. Go with the flow : Change is good. Change is a part of life. We might like our routines, but there will always be something that comes along to disrupt them. Accept that, embrace it, and learn to flow with it. If we become too rigid, we will break in the face of the pressures of life. But if we learn to accommodate those changes that life throws at us, and still head towards our goal, we’ll be happier and we’ll get to where we want to be.

Be willing to be flexible. Change comes at you … don’t despair, or get frustrated … take that change and make it a part of your plan.

Life will throw us curve balls. With practice, we can learn to hit them out of the park.

Tips for dealing with Teenaggers

2011-10-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

Try to discuss issues/conflicts in a positive way, without loosing your temper. It is better to 'negotiate' with your teenager and to compromise and find a solution that you both accept, just like you would do when dealings with an adult.
Show him you understand how he feels and that you are there to help if needed.
Don't expect to agree with each other all the time. Try to understand her views and let her make her own choices where possible.
Try to choose a good time to talk things over, and say clearly what you want to happen in a particular situation. You may have to compromise on some things. Be a good listener.
Avoid "put downs"; never ridicule or make fun of your teenager.
Don't underestimate the depth of his feelings - be sensitive. It can help to use "I" messages rather than "You". For example "I feel .. when you are " rather than" you make me feel so .. when you do .". Be specific, they then know exactly why you feel the way you do.
Let your teenager know you value her in your family. They still need to hear that they are loved.
Teenagers are more likely to show respect for your views if you show them respect too. Try not to be too critical. As they become adults, children need lots of support, encouragement and praise to build up their confidence and self esteem.
Teach life skills eg how to organise a driver license, defensive driving, how to fill out application forms, attend interviews, budgeting, newspapers, electronic gadgets, use a bank account, timetables etc

10 Tips For Being The Best You Can Be

2011-10-12T05:13:00.000-07:00

"The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished,
or the luster of it will never appear"
Daniel Defoe...

No matter how frustrated, troubled or dispirited on the surface, deep down everyone I have met is truly extraordinary. However hidden, the human spirit, the diamond is always there; in you, in me.

For many of us, these times are rough. Perhaps now we can come to know and appreciate more fully our capacity for endurance and the brightness of our human spirit. What is more, we can take the polishing more into our own hands.

Here are some tips you might like to consider:

1. Know what you want

Maybe you have a talent you have longed to express and develop. If not, you probably know how you would like to be experiencing your life - perhaps with more happiness, better communications with the ones you love, greater fulfilment in your work.

Knowing is deeper and stronger than wishful thinking or hoping. It is a conviction so solid that you can base your life on it.

"There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self."
Benjamin Franklin

2. Engage with your intention

Daily nurture your vision - see, feel, hear how you will be experiencing the fulfilment of your the life you want, both inwardly and in the world. Use your imagination.

3. Practice your passion - take action

If you have a talent, keep working with it. If you would like to be happier, do things that make you happy. Better communications? Be willing to learn, practise, improve - and make mistakes from time to time. Your intention will speak volumes. Fulfillment? Adjust your attitude.

"Nothing will work unless you do."
Maya Angelou

4. Raise your energy - turn up the heat

Love yourself and be grateful for all you have in your life, right now. Pay attention to your blessings. Look up. Learn to forgive and laugh at the mistakes you make along the way. Each day, feel the enthusiasm for your vision, as if it has already happened. Stay open for the remarkable to take place. It will.

"There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle,
the other is as though everything is a miracle."
Albert Einstein

5. Gather positive people around you

At the very least, spend time with people who are supportive and for you. Enrich yourself by getting to know others who are actively creating the best for themselves, and learn from them.

"If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind."
Norman Vincent Peale

6. Get rid of what is unnecessary

Clear the clutter! Live lean with only that which you need around you. The feeling of freedom you gain will liberate you closer to what you really want.

7. Organize yourself for success

Find ways of dealing with life's necessities so that you are not distracted by them. Only agree to do what you will actually do. Learn to say no to what does not fit for you.

"If we did all the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves."
Thomas A Edison

8. Set no time limits

Learn to live in the present moment and respond to your intuitive guidance. There are times when to act; times when to hold. You will get to know which is which.

"We have time enough if we will but use it right."
Johann Wolfgang von Geothe

9. Believe in yourself - believe in your vision

Feeling doubtful? In these challenging times, young children may teach us something. As adults, we can also be persistent in going for what we value.

Consider the words of Imogen, walking with her father in the park, and Stephanie, her tv heroine:

So I'm in the park with my just-turned-three-year-old daughter when she asks:
Daddy, can I have an ice cream?
I don't think we have time. We've got to go soon.
There is always a way, Daddy.
What?
Stephanie says, there is always a way!
Who says?
STEPHANIE!

10. Treasure yourself

Do the things that show you care for yourself: eat foods that serve your body; drink plenty of water; get enough sleep; exercise regularly; make time and space for fun; stay focused on your vision and intention. Taking care of your health is a wise investment of your time and attention.

"The diamond you are, you wear within you. You can call on its beauty and power when you want to stand forward and dazzle."
Random Soul 7

6 Signs you're in a healthy relationship

2011-10-10T06:23:00.000-07:00

Our relationships are vital to our mental well-being. However, toxic relationships can really do a number on our happiness and outlook on life. As a result, it is important to look for individuals who possess qualities that allow for healthy relationships. Although, once again, not an exhaustive list, the qualities listed below are those that should be at the very heart of a healthy relationship. And, just as you would expect your friend, family member or loved one to display these qualities, it is just as important to reciprocate.

1. Loyalty: Whether it's in friendships or in family, loyalty is truly important to maintain a healthy relationship. All of us are guilty, at one time or another, of making mistakes, having ups and downs, and even displaying some behavior that we may not always be proud of. When we find friends or loved ones who can forgive us and stand by us…even during our worst moments…we should be especially grateful. That said, loyalty should never be taken for granted and we should always be deeply appreciative when it comes our way.

2. Respect: I once knew an individual who was very opinionated about political topics. She would talk down to people who disagreed with her and would be very disrespectful. Not only did she make people feel stomped on, but she left many disinterested in friendship. Treating others with kindness and the respect they deserve is important in gaining the respect that WE desire. It never feels good to be taken for granted, judged or used and it doesn’t feel good to be talked down to or treated rudely or inappropriately. There will be times that we may not always have full agreement with our friends or loved ones, but respecting them along the way is a must.
3.Unconditionally There: There is nothing worse than having someone always resurface in your life when they are in need, are looking for something or need a favor. In a culture of “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours,” it is somewhat rare to find those “who just scratch your back,” period. Finding individuals who want you in their lives just because…and not because they want something in return is refreshing and worth holding on to. Those who are generous of heart are to be treasured!
4. Trustworthy: I once worked with a woman who, within my first week on the job, felt the need to tell me all of the intimate details of the various extra-marital affairs that had occurred with the management of the firm. She was supposedly friends with these people and I have no doubt, was told this information in the most strictest of confidences. How she felt it was appropriate to divulge this information to a new-hire like me, I still have no idea. But, it was her nature to gossip about everyone and everything. If you share something in confidence, you should be able to trust that the information will remain that way.

5. A Genuine Sounding Board: Taking a genuine interest in what others have to say and really listening to someone is important in developing solid relationships. Letting go of the “me, me, me” and focusing on the other person not only makes the other person feel valued and appreciated, but they feel that they can really talk to someone who cares. Those who take the time to really listen to our thoughts and feelings, and then help us work through difficult times and situations, share our lives at a much deeper level than those who don’t. These are individuals worth hanging on to.
6. Dependability: I had a friend who frequently would RSVP to small gatherings and then would never show. They never explained…never brought it up…and never apologized. Although this example is somewhat trivial, it still makes the point. Obviously there are times when things come up that prevent individuals from following through on what they promise, but if a friend, co-worker or family member perpetually drops the ball, they may be sending you a message. If a friend says they are going to do something or be somewhere, you should be able to count on them. And, in reciprocation, they you.

What traits do you look for in a friend or partner? Are your relationships healthy?

MTN Caller Tunez/Tune - Setting it up

2011-10-10T05:22:00.000-07:00

If you've been on the MTN network for a while but also want to benefit from value added services such as the MTN callertunez, then what you need to do is to subscribe to it.

I have actually been using my phone for a variety of value added services but did not really know about setting up a caller tune. This actually interested me when my Mom asked me if I could personalize her caller tune so that people calling her may hear a tune playing while here phone rings. So I thought about it and having read something about the service some time ago from the newspapers, I just decided to do a quick research on this service.

How to subscribe to MTN Caller tune service
Well, after some research, I just would want to share on how you could easily set up the caller tune on your MTN sim powered mobile phone:
- Dial the caller tune zone on 4100 and listen
- Press 1 to download a new caller tune
- Enter the caller tune code for the song you want
- End it with a hash(#)
- Follow the voice prompt to complete your subscription

Your new caller tune will now be set up and in a few seconds, you will receive a text message:
"Your callertunez was processes successfully"

How to set up a DIY(Do it yourself)/Personalized/Customized MTN Caller Tune
So you might already have or have not subscribed to the callertunez service. Now what about if you just want to create a tune by yourself and upload it to MTN server? Well MTN Nigeria allows you to do this in the set up referred to as DIY caller tunez service.

To set up DIY service, here's what to do:
- Dial the same Caller tune zone on 4100
- Press 4 to DIY your favourite song or tune
- Then press 1 to begin
- After the beep, record your tune to the phone e.g voice or song from your background (Limited time allowed)
- Press # when finished
- Listen to the tune when replayed
- Press 1 to submit it
- You would hear a voice feedback telling you that you have succeeded. You will receive a text message shortly.

Note:
It appears dialing the MTN Callertunez zone 4100 is not free as you will be billed for the time you spent on the call.
Also, the service costs N50.00 per month and for every caller tune set up for your phone.

Some caller tune codes from MTNonline:
702569 - Yori Yori by Bracket
001348 - Gongo Aso by 9ice
004703 - Ifunanya by P square
004701 - Do me by P square

There are a whole lot of other caller tunes available for download and you can go to the caller tunez website for more codes. When you get the code, the next thing is to make sure that you have at least N100 credit and then call 4100 to activate the code using the steps mentioned above.

Callertunez website: You can go to www.mtnonline.com/callertunez for more caller tune service details

Bishop T.D. Jakes Speaks Out About Son's Gay Sex Arrest

2011-10-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

Bishop T.D. Jakes, the homophobic Dallas megachurch pastor whose son was arrested last week after exposing himself and masturbating in front of law enforcement officers during a sex sting in a public park, released a statement over the weekend (which he also read to his congregation) distancing himself from his son's actions by pointing out that Jermaine Jakes is an adult. Bishop Jakes also says that his son is being shown a "restorative grace" indicative of his ministry.

According to the Dallas Voice, Jakes has said that he would never hire a sexually active gay person, has spoken out against same-sex marriage, and has called homosexuality a "brokenness."

Jermaine Jakes turned himself in to police last Thursday on an indecent exposure charge.

Read the full text of Jakes' statement, AFTER THE JUMP...

***FULL TEXT of BISHOP TD JAKES STATEMENT regarding SON'S ARREST***

As parents, we occasionally feel that our children do not live up to our highest and best ideals. When they do not, we don't diminish our love for them as recompense for our disapproval. Like our children, we also are not infallible nor do we profess to be. Our now adult son Jermaine is 29, but when he was at home he was a recipient of correction, compassion and wise counsel. We hope that the light of what we believe will guide him through times of contradiction and moments of concern as he continues to mature.

In spite of the family pain we feel from this unfortunate situation, it has given us a chance to show him the same help, support, and restorative grace for which our family and church is noted. Through our ministry at The Potter’s House, as well as our own home, we have for years offered help in the time of need to all adults, our five children and other people’s children.

It is in moments like these that I am so grateful that we do not preach that we are the solution, but we look to Christ for resolution. So then, as a very human family with real issues, like many other people, we will draw from the same well of grace to which we have led others to drink and be refreshed.

Bishop T.D. Jakes

9 Tips for Finding Mr. Right

2011-10-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

1. Get a life. The most important thing is to be Ms. Right yourself. Finding the right man is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centered, finding a generous hard working fellow is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging man is not going to change who you are. Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring, and unselfish. Model yourself after women you admire. Work hard at changing your character defects. (If you are not sure what they are, ask your mother!) Become more well rounded. Complete your education. Get a hobby. Volunteer and expose yourself to people who are less-fortunate than you are. Learn some humility by volunteering to serve others. Take a listening class. Get some counseling if you need to learn to be assertive or how to share your feelings. If you have some childhood traumas deal with them now, with someone who can give you professional help. Learn to be happy with yourself, first. No man, no matter how right is going to make you happy. You will only be happy in your new relationship if you are happy inside first.

2. Evaluate your physical attractiveness. Not everyone is Ms. America. Nobody looks like the models in magazines. We each have something going for us though. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Do not try to be a size 6 if you are really a size 12. Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself go either. Some men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor and find out what is healthy for a woman your size. Rather than living up to some super-model or stereotype of femininity you should aim to be all you can. Men want to be proud of their wife’s appearance, not embarrassed. Work with what you have: get a makeover; ask a personal shopper at the department store to help you revamp your look. You don’t need to spend a fortune, simply plan wisely with a few sharp pieces. Small changes can make a world of difference in your looks as well as your outlook.

3. Know what you are looking for in a man. Here are some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Ask yourself, Why do I want this relationship? To lose myself? To find myself?· To make up for what I lost in childhood? To keep me so excited I can’t be depressed? To boost my sagging self-esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better? For security or someone to take care of me? To be in control? To show off to my friends that I can get a man? To get my parents off my back? To run away from my responsibilities? To find someone to support my children?

Ask yourself where you want to be in twenty-five years. What type of person do you want to become? How will your choices now influence that outcome? Try to think beyond your nose for a few minutes. Look down the road. Be honest. What does your heart desire? Just a paycheck, children, a companion? What you choose today will have an impact on what you get later. Choose wisely. What looks good now may cause heartache later. What you do now does matter.

4. Rise above past mistakes. You are not doomed to an endless series of losers. You are half-way to Mr. RIGHT by seeing what you have done wrong in the past. You cannot correct something you did not realize was stupid. Congratulations! You are starting to develop humility, which is a good trait. Just don’t let it turn into self-pity and low self-esteem. We all fail and make mistakes. We all have things we remember with regret. Unlike us, God is very forgiving when we repent, turn around and are willing to let Him change us. We are forgiven in Jesus. He died for us while we were still sinners, not after we got our acts together. No one is beyond the pale. God loves all of us, even when we do not love ourselves. Forgive yourself. Let God forgive you in Christ Jesus. Open your heart to grace and freedom from shame. You are loved. You can be forgiven. Our heavenly father opens his arms wide to welcome us back when we make mistakes. We can change and grow and become new creations. We do not have to be doomed to failure over and over. Talk to your pastor, or call for Christian counseling. There are many resources available to help you turn your life around. Do not give up.

5. Talk to your family and friends about the kind of man you want. Who better knows you and the things you need? Ask them for tips on the type of guy they think you need, and don’t be insulted when they tell you the truth. They probably know you better than you know yourself. Their feedback could be invaluable.

6. Be open to matchmaker services and the Internet. Is it safe to look there for someone? It depends. Personal ads have been around for years, and the Internet Web pages are just an extension of them. It is only the "desperate and dateless" that use personal ads, but now it is commonplace for almost anyone to take advantage of the internet. Some claim they have been successful in establishing satisfying relationships with the Web. Others have run into problems all the way from being deceived, to being murdered. Millions of people are online every day. Using common sense, and seeking reputable services with good references are the basics when going online. Certainly, never agree to meet someone without proper precautions such as meeting in a public place, and having a friend with you or nearby or who knows where you are going and with whom. Though its good to take advantage of internet match making services but not too safe to do...

7. Look in places where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value. If you want someone who cares, look at the local soup kitchen and see who is volunteering on Saturday afternoons. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who shares his Pepsi with you without your asking? Who gives you the seat on the bus? Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who works Sundays at the homeless shelter? Who volunteers at the Children’s Hospital as a clown? Who shares freely about himself and his needs, ideas, hopes and dreams? Who doesn’t care if his generosity is noticed or even appreciated? This is the type of man to look for.

If you want a man of faith you will be more apt to find him in church than in a bar.

If you want a man with purpose and direction in life realize he is not the type of fellow who answers "I dunno" when you ask what he wants to major in. He is not the guy on the street corner who says "Hey, I just wanna party. I don’t care about school." This guy has his head on straight and knows where he is going and how to get there. He may be poor looking, or come from a broken home, but he is determined to rise above difficult circumstances. He wants to go somewhere in life. He believes he has a future beyond age 20 and doesn’t want to jeopardize his future. He has a dream beyond living at home with his parents or next week’s big party. He wants something more than being "baaad" right now. If your fellow’s highest aspiration is getting high on ice, you better look elsewhere.

If he is the guy at the office who lets everyone else do the work, and he takes the credit, watch out. Is he learning more and more in his trade? Becoming more highly skilled? Teaching others? Where is he going?

If you are looking for a man with a sense of humor, keep in mind that just because a guy has purpose and diligence in his character doesn’t mean he cannot laugh and have fun. The ability to laugh at oneself and with others (not AT others) is crucial for a good mental outlook. If a person always takes himself too seriously, he will be difficult to live with. Someone who can laugh or chuckle at the antics of a child, who can play with a dog, giggle when ice cream falls in his lap is a guy worth giving a second look. He is obviously not one-dimensional, that is, he is not all work and no play. He can relax and participate with others in activities that delight and refresh the soul. He appreciates beauty and quiet, as well as screaming on the roller coaster at the theme park. He can take a joke as well as tell one. His humor is never at someone else’s expense, but he can be clever and witty. Is your Mr. Right someone who seems to be able to have fun without drugs or alcohol to loosen him up? Can he relax socially and can talk to almost anyone? Although he has a gentle manner and is he able to be silly when it is appropriate?

If you are hanging with a bunch of complainers who only know how to gripe, maybe it is time to find some new friends.

8. Expect a human being, not someone perfect. No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect. He will make mistakes too. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don’t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn’t have to be Mr. Hunk either.

9. Be patient. Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look.

THE POWER OF RIGHT CHOICES...

2011-10-06T09:01:00.001-07:00

Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you...

What will you do for your career? Who will you marry? Where will you live? How much education will you get? What will you do with today? ....

But one most important choices you will make is WHO WILL YOU BECOME?....

Life is not merely a matter of of holding and playing a good hand as you would hope to do in a card game.

Build upon the foundations of your abilities and live life to its fullest potentials..

YOUR CREATIVITY IS YOUR LIFE TIME EARNING....Learn how !

2011-10-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

If you want to be more creative, in art, in business, whatever. Here are some tips that have worked for me over the years:

1. Ignore everybody. The more original your idea is, the less good advice other people will be able to give you. You don’t know if your idea is any good the moment it’s created. Neither does anyone else. The most you can hope for is a strong gut feeling that it is. And trusting your feelings is not as easy as the optimists say it is. There’s a reason why feelings scare us.

And asking close friends never works quite as well as you hope, either. It’s not that they deliberately want to be unhelpful. It’s just they don’t know your world one millionth as well as you know your world, no matter how hard they try, no matter how hard you try to explain.

Plus a big idea will change you. Your friends may love you, but they don’t want you to change. If you change, then their dynamic with you also changes. They like things the way they are, that’s how they love you- the way you are, not the way you may become.

Ergo, they have no incentive to see you change. And they will be resistant to anything that catalyzes it. That’s human nature. And you would do the same, if the shoe was on the other foot.

With business colleagues it’s even worse. They’re used to dealing with you in a certain way. They’re used to having a certain level of control over the relationship. And they want whatever makes them more prosperous. Sure, they might prefer it if you prosper as well, but that’s not their top priority.

If your idea is so good that it changes your dynamic enough to where you need them less, or God forbid, THE MARKET needs them less, then they’re going to resist your idea every chance they can.

Again, that’s human nature.

GOOD IDEAS ALTER THE POWER BALANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS, THAT IS WHY GOOD IDEAS ARE ALWAYS INITIALLY RESISTED.

Good ideas come with a heavy burden. Which is why so few people have them. So few people can handle it.

2. The idea doesn’t have to be big. It just has to change the world.
The two are not the same thing.

We all spend a lot of time being impressed by folk we’ve never met. Somebody featured in the media who’s got a big company, a big product, a big movie, a big bestseller. Whatever.

And we spend even more time trying unsuccessfully to keep up with them. Trying to start up our own companies, our own products, our own film projects, books and whatnot.

I’m as guilty as anyone. I tried lots of different things over the years, trying desperately to pry my career out of the jaws of mediocrity. Some to do with business, some to do with art etc. The sovereignty you have over your work will inspire far more people than the actual content ever will. How your own sovereignty inspires other people to find their own sovereignty, their own sense of freedom and possibility, will change the world far more than the the work’s objective merits ever will.

Your idea doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be yours alone. The more the idea is yours alone, the more freedom you have to do something really amazing.

The more amazing, the more people will click with your idea. The more people click with your idea, the more it will change the world.

That’s what doodling on business cards taught me.

3. Put the hours in.

Doing anything worthwhile takes forever. 90% of what separates successful people and failed people is time, effort, and stamina.
If somebody in your industry is more successful than you, it’s probably because he works harder at it than you do. Sure, maybe he’s more inherently talented, more adept at networking etc, but I don’t consider that an excuse. Over time, that advantage counts for less and less. Which is why the world is full of highly talented, network-savvy, failed mediocrities.

So yeah, success means you’ve got a long road ahead of you, regardless. How do you best manage it? Simply put, my method allows me to pace myself over the long haul, which is important.

Stamina is utterly important. And stamina is only possible if it’s managed well. People think all they need to do is endure one crazy, intense, job-free creative burst and their dreams will come true. They are wrong, they are stupidly wrong.

Being good at anything is like figure skating- the definition of being good at it is being able to make it look easy. But it never is easy. Ever. That’s what the stupidly wrong people conveniently forget.

If I was just starting out writing, say, a novel or a screenplay, or maybe starting up a new software company, I wouldn’t try to quit my job in order to make this big, dramatic heroic-quest thing about it. I would do something far simpler: I would find that extra hour or two in the day that belongs to nobody else but me, and I would make it productive. Put the hours in, do it for long enough and magical, life-transforming things happen eventually. Sure, that means less time watching TV, internet surfing, going out or whatever.

But who cares?
4. If your biz plan depends on you suddenly being “discovered” by some big shot, your plan will probably fail.
Nobody suddenly discovers anything. Things are made slowly and in pain.

5. You are responsible for your own experience.
Nobody can tell you if what you’re doing is good, meaningful or worthwhile. The more compelling the path, the more lonely it is.

Every creative person is looking for “The Big Idea”. You know, the one that is going to catapult them out from the murky depths of obscurity and on to the highest planes of incandescent ludicity.

The one that’s all love-at-first-sight with the Zeitgeist.

The one that’s going to get them invited to all the right parties, metaphorical or otherwise.

So naturally you ask yourself, if and when you finally come up with The Big Idea, after years of toil, struggle and doubt, how do you know whether or not it is “The One”?

Answer: You don’t.

There’s no glorious swelling of existential triumph.

That’s not what happens.

All you get is this rather kvetchy voice inside you that seems to say, “This is totally stupid.This is utterly moronic. This is a complete waste of time. I’m going to do it anyway.”

And you go do it anyway.

Second-rate ideas like glorious swellings far more. Keeps them alive longer.

6. Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten.

Then when you hit puberty they take the crayons away and replace them with books on algebra etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the creative bug is just a wee voice telling you, “I�d like my crayons back, please.”

(more…)

7. Keep your day job.

I�m not just saying that for the usual reason i.e. because I think your idea will fail. I�m saying it because to suddenly quit one�s job in a big ol’ creative drama-queen moment is always, always, always in direct conflict with what I call �The Sex & Cash Theory�.

8. Companies that squelch creativity can no longer compete with companies that champion creativity.

Nor can you bully a subordinate into becoming a genius.

(more…)

9. Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb.

You may never reach the summit; for that you will be forgiven. But if you don’t make at least one serious attempt to get above the snow-line, years later you will find yourself lying on your deathbed, and all you will feel is emptiness.

(more…)

10. The more talented somebody is, the less they need the props.

Meeting a person who wrote a masterpiece on the back of a deli menu would not surprise me. Meeting a person who wrote a masterpiece with a silver Cartier fountain pen on an antique writing table in an airy SoHo loft would SERIOUSLY surprise me.

(more…)

11. Don’t try to stand out from the crowd; avoid crowds altogether.

Your plan for getting your work out there has to be as original as the actual work, perhaps even more so. The work has to create a totally new market. There’s no point trying to do the same thing as 250,000 other young hopefuls, waiting for a miracle. All existing business models are wrong. Find a new one.

(more…)

12. If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you.

The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it’s going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it’s worth it. Even if you don’t end up pulling it off, you’ll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It’s NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure.

(more…)

13. Never compare your inside with somebody else’s outside.

The more you practice your craft, the less you confuse worldly rewards with spiritual rewards, and vice versa. Even if your path never makes any money or furthers your career, that’s still worth a TON.

(more…)

14. Dying young is overrated.

I’ve seen so many young people take the “Gotta do the drugs and booze thing to make me a better artist” route over the years. A choice that was neither effective, healthy, smart, original or ended happily.

(more…)

15. The most important thing a creative person can learn professionally is where to draw the red line that separates what you are willing to do, and what you are not.

Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it. The more you need the money, the more people will tell you what to do. The less control you will have. The more bullshit you will have to swallow. The less joy it will bring. Know this and plan accordingly.

(more…)

16. The world is changing.

Some people are hip to it, others are not. If you want to be able to afford groceries in 5 years, I’d recommend listening closely to the former and avoiding the latter. Just my two cents.

(more…)

17. Merit can be bought. Passion can’t.

The only people who can change the world are people who want to. And not everybody does.

(more…)

18. Avoid the Watercooler Gang.

They�re a well-meaning bunch, but they get in the way eventually.

(more…)

19. Sing in your own voice.

Piccasso was a terrible colorist. Turner couldn’t paint human beings worth a damn. Saul Steinberg’s formal drafting skills were appalling. TS Eliot had a full-time day job. Henry Miller was a wildly uneven writer. Bob Dylan can’t sing or play guitar.

(more…)

20. The choice of media is irrelevant.

Every media’s greatest strength is also its greatest weakness. Every form of media is a set of fundamental compromises, one is not “higher” than the other. A painting doesn’t do much, it just sits there on a wall. That’s the best and worst thing thing about it. Film combines sound, photography, music, acting. That’s the best and worst thing thing about it. Prose just uses words arranged in linear form to get its point across. That’s the best and worst thing thing about it etc.

(more…)

21. Selling out is harder than it looks.

Diluting your product to make it more “commercial” will just make people like it less.

Many years ago, barely out of college, I started schlepping around the ad agencies, looking for my first job.

(more…)

22. Nobody cares. Do it for yourself.

Everybody is too busy with their own lives to give a damn about your book, painting, screenplay etc, especially if you haven’t sold it yet. And the ones that aren’t, you don’t want in your life anyway.

(more…)

23. Worrying about “Commercial vs. Artistic” is a complete waste of time.

You can argue about “the shameful state of American Letters” till the cows come home. They were kvetching about it in 1950, they’ll be kvetching about it in 2050.

It’s a path well-trodden, and not a place where one is going to come up with many new, earth-shattering insights.

(more…)

24. Don�t worry about finding inspiration. It comes eventually.

Inspiration precedes the desire to create, not the other way around.

(more…)

25. You have to find your own schtick.

A Picasso always looks like Piccasso painted it. Hemingway always sounds like Hemingway. A Beethoven Symphony always sounds like a Beethoven’s Symphony. Part of being a master is learning how to sing in nobody else’s voice but your own.

(more…)

26. Write from the heart.

There is no silver bullet. There is only the love God gave you.

(more…)

27. The best way to get approval is not to need it.

This is equally true in art and business. And love. And sex. And just about everything else worth having.

(more…)

28. Power is never given. Power is taken.

People who are “ready” give off a different vibe than people who aren’t. Animals can smell fear; maybe that’s it.

(more…)

29. Whatever choice you make, The Devil gets his due eventually.

Selling out to Hollywood comes with a price. So does not selling out. Either way, you pay in full, and yes, it invariably hurts like hell.

(more…)

30. The hardest part of being creative is getting used to it.

If you have the creative urge, it isn’t going to go away. But sometimes it takes a while before you accept the fact.

(more…)

Five Simple Things a Guy Can Do to Win a Girls Heart

2011-10-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

Everybody wants to be Loved !

However it happened, the two of you are either dating or you, at least, very much want to be dating. You know she at least likes you - she's willing to be seen in public with you. On the other hand, you are in love. Your heart is hers, whether she knows it or not.

So how do you win her heart in return? By being romantic, attentive, fun, expressive, and for real. To be more specific:

1. Cook her a meal. Before you panic, let me just say that if you can read and understand this article, you can read and understand a basic cookbook. Sure, some of the terms may be unfamiliar, but they're usually explained somewhere within the pages. It doesn't have to be a fancy meal - baked chicken, a salad, some rice pilaf (from a box), a bottle of decent wine and some store-bought fancy chocolate anything, and she will be swept off her feet.

However, I would caution against serving anything cooked on a grill like steak or barbecue. Ditto pizza, nachos, or hot wings - even if they're homemade. Why? That stuff is considered "man food." The subliminal message of serving a girl "man food" is: "I consider you to be one of the guys," which is not what you want to say!

I would also advise you to scope out any dietary preferences or food allergies she has before you plan the menu. The time to find out she is a vegetarian is not when you set a pot roast down onto the table. The time to find out she is violently allergic to shrimp is not when you're on the way to the emergency room so she can be treated for anaphylactic shock. Don't try to make the meal a surprise; plan in advance and avoid embarrassment later. Plus, advance notice gives her the opportunity to tell all her friends, "He's going to cook me dinner! That's so romantic!" which will earn much brownie points for you in the friends' minds.

2. Find out what she likes to do and do it with her. Whether it's salsa dancing, watching old movies, or volunteering at a local animal shelter, if she's into it, you'd better at least try it. At minimum, she will appreciate your efforts to be part of her "world" and think you're the sweetest guy on the planet for letting her cry on your shoulder at the end of Casablanca. At best, the two of you will be well on the way to building a lifetime of shared memories.

3. If she has family nearby that she sees pretty regularly, learn how to get along with them. You don't have to like them, they're probably as weird as peanut-butter-flavored toothpaste, but they're her family. So be nice. Nice means go to family events when invited, mind your manners, dress appropriately, smile, and don't let her mother (sister, aunt, grandmother) get to you. And don't badmouth the family afterwards.

P.S. This suggestion also applies to any pets she might have. Even ones that yakk up hairballs in your shoes or try to romance your leg. If you want to win her heart, you'll take these little tokens of affection in the spirit they're being offered and not kick the offending critter across the room, verbally or (certainly not!) literally. On the other hand, if you are honestly, truly, life-threateningly allergic to her animal companion, you might want to let her keep her heart and let yourself keep breathing.

4. Disable the "male answer syndrome" button. Yes, you have one. The button works like this: you are presented with a problem by a fellow guy friend, co-worker or other acquaintance. You are then hardwired to come up with a few workable solutions to the problems.

If you don't know already, let me be the one to let you in on a little secret: when the girl of your dreams tells you about a personal, professional, or social problem, she is not, I repeat not looking for you to provide her with a solution. So why is she telling you? Because she's decided that you are a good candidate to offer what she most wants: commiseration and support. Many men, myself included, tackle their problems by "thinking out loud." Preferably with an audience (you) that will provide the proper feedback: lots of mmms, and uh-huhs, and the occasional wow, followed by - if you're lucky - lots of comforting hugs. But listen, really listen to her, and try to save your perfect solution until a) she asks for your advice or b) the end of eternity. Warning: she will know in a flash if you're pretending to listen but are really engrossed in whatever's on the tube or the Internet. And she will take her heart and go home.

5. Clean up nice once in a while. You don't always have to dress like you're going to Wal-Mart at two o'clock in the morning. Even if your Friday date is fast food and a movie, it wouldn't hurt to wear something better than your usual attire. Dressing nice for your girl sends a very strong message: "You're worth wearing (a tie, dress pants, not-sneakers, hair gel) for." Girls get the message, believe me. And we respond positively.

Notice that none of these suggestions require a lot of money, a nice car, a lucrative professional sports contract, or a closet full of designer suits. They simply require that you be you, and that you let her be, well, her.

So go out there and find a good cookbook! And don't forget to give her flowers every once in a while - especially if there's no real reason to do so!

How to Maximize the Revenue Potential of Your Small Business

2011-10-04T07:23:00.000-07:00

You need to grow your business to generate the kind of income that you have targeted to achieve. However, you may sometimes find that your business is not achieving the goals that you set for it. You are not satisfied with the direction that your business is taking. Your business is simply not generating the revenues that you expected.

One reason could be your failure to maximize your revenues. In fact, there may have been a number of revenue opportunities that you have missed, or downright lost.

Loss of revenues could stem from a number of sources. It may be due to the lack of customer response to your marketing and advertising efforts. Or customers may show up in your brick-and-mortar or online store, but leave without making a purchase and instead shop (and buy!) from your competitor. Your loss of revenues can be due to the high percentage of returned purchases due to failed expectations and buyer's remorse.

Below are ways that can maximize the revenue opportunities for your business:

Maximize financial returns: There are various ways of increasing your revenues - from looking at your cash flow to your distribution system.

One way is to develop a variety of sales channels for your products. If you are running a retail store, you can create an e-commerce presence and reach the global marketplace through the Web. Or try the catalog. You can sell also your excess inventories and returns in online auction sites like eBay. Also explore the possibility whether your product can be carried by a national chain or bigger retail network.

If you are rendering a service (e.g. web site designer, computer programmer), there are a number of ways you can maximize returns for your efforts. Evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of being paid on an hourly or project basis. As a small business owner, you may not be able to command high hourly fees, and some potential clients may want the comfort of knowing how much they need to pay for a project upfront. Also weigh in the benefits of working for one client at a time, relative to working on a project that has a wider audience and multiple potential clients.

Maximize revenue from existing customers: It is easier to land a new customer than to retain an old one. In fact, there is a strong correlation between long-term loyalty and revenue. You can elicit trust and loyalty if you show that you understand your customers better than your competition, and consistently deliver a rewarding, highly satisfying experience through each and every transaction. You need to make your customers' feel that you are giving them not only quality products or services but opportunities for a valued partnership that they cannot find anywhere. The key is to become your customers' strategic partner.

Price for competitive advantage: Revenue leakages can come from wrong pricing strategies. Your business may be under pricing your products and services, resulting in the loss of significant amounts of money. The problem often lies in an inadequate understanding of your costs, which leaves your business at a competitive disadvantage. Review your cost structure, and revise your pricing strategy without overpricing yourself out of the market.

Maximize employee contribution: Many business owners have the vision and intestinal fortitude to turn a shoestring business into a multi-million success; yet many do not have the right skills to manage employees. Managed improperly, your employees can be your biggest source of revenue leakage. Their errors and mistakes could jack up costs; their discourteous service could turn away customers; and unhappy employees translate to poor productivity and lost revenues.

Teach your employees to care about your business: Let them understand their role in the company and what the success of your business would mean to them. They need to know what is expected of them with regular performance reviews. Communicate with your staff regularly, open the feedback process and let them know that you welcome their suggestions and ideas. Give your employees the environment essential to helping them do their best possible job.

Maximize use of technology: One of the key steps to maximize your revenues is to automate business processes. Evaluate how and what kind of technology can make your operations faster and more dependable while reducing costs, improving efficiency, and maximizing revenue opportunities. Technology can help you effectively manage your inventory and manage customer relationship. Technology offers tangible benefits that can give your business the edge in a competitive marketplace.

Maximize tax benefits: You should not pay more in taxes other than what you need to pay. Yet many small business owners fail to utilize their tax benefits to the fullest. With careful navigation of the rules and proper tax planning, your small business can maximize tax deductions, such as travel and entertainment. Seek the help of a tax professional or financial analyst to help review your tax return statements and find areas where you could save money.

However, the key step to maximizing tax benefits is through planning and documentation. Get in the habit of recording every transaction on a regular basis. Purchase an expense ledger or invest in accounting software to record all expenses.

Maximize marketing: Many small business owners regularly market their products or services, yet fail to evaluate the effectiveness of these campaigns. Understanding which marketing campaigns result in more closed sales is often based on anecdotal evidence. You can increase your revenues if you undertake measures to fine-tune your marketing efforts to maximize the return on your marketing investments. You need to take time to gather information and data on how well you execute your campaigns, manage responses and track leads generated.

EconomicPot: How to Look Beautiful without Makeup

2011-10-03T03:51:00.000-07:00

EconomicPot: How to Look Beautiful without Makeup: Not all women have money to buy a truckload of makeup products, nor do they have the time. We can’t all dedicate 30 minutes in front...

How to Look Beautiful without Makeup

2011-10-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

Not all women have money to buy a truckload of makeup products, nor do they have the time. We can’t all dedicate 30 minutes in front of a mirror before work or school just to apply makeup because let’s face it: it takes us 30 minutes just to roll out of bed in the morning. And don’t forget that at the end of each day, you’ll need to spend even more time trying to get the products off of your face, which will cost more money as you’ll have to buy makeup remover to get the job done right.

Although the makeup models you see on boxes are beautiful with thick eyelashes, flush cheeks, and perfect eyebrows, there’s no way you’ll be able to look like their picture – even if you spend all day in front of the mirror. Oftentimes, product labels will claim to improve skin tone and texture, but unfortunately, they fail at delivering on those promises. So if you’re expecting perfect outcomes with mascara, you’re going to be disappointed because most of the brushes that are labeled "no clump" will leave you with clumps that have to be worked out with an eyelash brush.

Women who choose to go out with no makeup on tend to appear more youthful, compared to women who take the time to apply makeup. You could be adding years to your face by wearing makeup if you’re not using the right foundation formula or shade. After all, some foundations fall into the smallest of creases on your face, which draws attention to the wrong areas.

Whatever your reason for not wearing makeup is,
it’s important to still look your best, and be confident with your natural beauty...

How to Look Beautiful without Makeup

Beauty Rest: Be sure that you are getting plenty of rest every night; the required amount is said to be 6-8 hours of sleep every night. Along with 8 hours of sleep, be sure to drink plenty of water and avoid sodas. These two things can greatly improve your skin’s complexion, and help heal the circles around your eyes.
Wash Your Face: If your goal is to clear skin without using makeup, then washing your face twice a day should become part of your daily routine. You’ll spend a fraction of the time washing your face as you would applying and removing makeup each day. Choose facial cleansers and exfoliates according to your specific skin type for best results.
Maintain Your Eyebrows: Your eyebrows are the easiest feature to manipulate on your face. You can change the shape and size easily by visiting a salon, or by learning to wax and pluck eyebrows yourself. When you keep your eyebrows maintained, your face looks clean and put-together without using makeup, while also framing your face and drawing attention to your eyes. But always be cautious as to not over-pluck, because this can create more problems for you in the future.
Moisturize Your Face and Body: Apply a moisturizer every day to your face and body. For your face, you’ll want to apply a moisturizer that includes an SPF – even on days that aren’t sunny. After all, the sun’s harmful rays can get to you even on overcast days. At night, you can use a nighttime moisturizer after you cleanse your skin; this will improve your moisture, and make your skin soft and smooth.
Diet: The food you eat is very important for staying healthy and youthful. This being said, you’ll want to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables to make your skin glow. A trick is to eat one cup of fresh fruit or vegetables before every meal in order to get your full servings of important nutrients. Read about beauty foods to improve the look of your skin, hair and nails.
Hairstyle: Before you decide on a hairstyle, be sure it will suit your face shape and hair type. Not every haircut will look good on every girl, and it’s very important not to have the wrong hairstyle since this distracts from your face, and can cause you to look unappealing.

Create Healthy Hair: Only shampoo (how to choose hair shampoo and conditioner) your hair when it is needed; for the average woman, this is every other day, unless your hair frequently becomes oily. You’ll want to only apply conditioner to the ends, and pony-tail a section of your hair before rinsing well with cool water to boost your hair’s shine, softness and smoothness.

Assuming you can closely follow the aforementioned seven points, you’ll be on your way to looking good with no makeup required.

5 Tips for Living a Complete and fulfilled Life...

2011-09-30T07:20:00.000-07:00

Turn Your Desires and Wants into Goals...
We all have desires and wants in our life. For some of us it can be a desire to be able to retire early, for others we may have a want to get the latest BMW. For many people they have a desire to make sure that they leave behind a legacy of doing well in both their personal and professional lives. In order to achieve your wants and desires, set up goals for yourself. In fact, many people find that by having goals – and milestones to achieving that goal – that they have the motivating power to actually make it happen. Setting up goals gives you the purpose for getting up in the morning and helps fuel the drive to succeed. Make sure your goals are achievable by breaking them down into smaller steps. Then celebrate each time you achieve one of the steps towards the larger goal!

Turn Your Goals into Habits...
Now that you have defined your goals, or better yet you have achieved them, don’t step there! Turn those goals into habits. If your goal was to finish your college education then make it a habit – make education a part of your everyday life by always learning and doing. If your goal was to get rid of the clutter in your life then make sure you don’t stop once you have achieved it or else the clutter will find its way back into your life! Habits help us continually achieve goals and even help take small goals and transform them into larger ones. For instance, if you have achieved your goal of reducing your energy and water usage help others see the benefits of doing so as well – expand your goal by making it your habit! People learn by seeing others do.

Track Your Progress and Celebrate Your Accomplishments...
If you remember, I said that in order to make your goals achievable to break them down into smaller steps and celebrate each step as you achieve it. It’s important that we recognize the progress we make in our lives – and that our friends and family make in theirs. It’s positive reinforcement and it is one of the most crucial ingredients in leading a happy, fulfilled life. Celebrate accomplishments and use the momentum from achieving that milestone as the catalyst to propel you towards the next milestone! You will find that soon you have developed a positive self-feeding cycle in your life and you will be able to achieve anything you put your mind to!

Watch Out For the Negatives...
How many of us limit ourselves by listening to old, outdated and just plain wrong advice and conventions? When people tell you that you can’t do something because you haven’t done X or Y first, just smile and tell them “Thanks, but I think I’ll give it a shot!” Never limit yourself or your beliefs. It seems that in life people are always more apt to listen to those who want to spread the negative emotions and thoughts around than they are those who want to spread around the message of “Yes you can!” Learn how to overcome those who want to be held back by old, outdated beliefs and propel yourself forward knowing that you can do something if you work hard at it. Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, didn’t believe in the old belief at the time that IBM didn’t do business with small companies – and look at where he is now!

Keep Your Mind Open To Change...
We should always make sure that we have an open mind and learn that change happens and sometimes we need to modify our desires or goals. This doesn’t mean you should give up on something because you think it is too hard to achieve, but rather you should be open for new ways of achieving that goal or modifying the goal to take advantage of advanced in technology, science and the world around us. Successful people know that change is part of life – and that change does not, as many people believe, happen suddenly but rather is a gradual process that takes place every minute of the day. By being aware of the change that happens around them they can better focus their goals and desires to take advantage of change instead of being surprised by it. Are you preparing to bring fulfillment to your life? Use this list as guide then watch as change starts to happen around you. People will notice when you change your attitude and outlook, and when they do it is almost viral – they begin to change theirs as well! Before you know it, not only are you living a full, complete life but you also were the catalyst for others to find fulfillment in their lives as well!