Ed-E-torial

"Survivor" John McCain. Mr. Sulu A Pain in Captain Kirk's Asteroid?

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:44:58 +0000

John McCain wants to be the Ulitmate Survivor? Bill Shatner slams Mr. Sulu. And an Amber Colt smack down. Distributed by Tubemogul.

Maxim Magazine "Hot" Politicians And Wheelchair Swami Bob

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:59:23 +0000

Our take on Maxim Magazine's Hottest Politcians. A guy in a wheelchair who can read minds? A little David Blaine, a little Murder Ball. Check our Wheelchair Swami Bob. Distributed by Tubemogul.

Ed-E-torial 26: Lindsay Lohan And Miss Piggy Gay?

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 14:10:29 +0000

First Lindsay Lohan and now Miss Piggy? Holy Kermit, Batman! See your reactions to Miss Piggy coming out of the pen and admitting she's bisexual. Distributed by Tubemogul.

Meet The "Other" Girl From Two Girls One Cup

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:44:03 +0000

Meet the girl who could have had web fame if it weren’t for a cruel twist of, uh, Fate. Distributed by Tubemogul.

Ed-E-torial: Amber Colt, A Girl And Her Top(Less)

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:13:19 +0000

Amber is ready to bare it to help Darfur. Are you?Do your part to help save Darfur. Bid on Amber's bra.

Porn NOT Get It In

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:46:47 +0000

It’s not the size, but some times it is. Thanks to the Porn NOT cast of Ann Scobie and Matthew Arkin. Yes, Alan’s other son.

Porn NOT! Doggy Style

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:38:58 +0000

It’s not doggy. But it does have style. And it’s not “Turning Japanese”. But it does beg the question why is a dog man’s best friend anyway? Thanks to the Porn NOT guys, Joe Narciso and Oliver Vaquer

Ed-E-torial 23: MTV's The Hills Goes Country. And Teen Executions in Florida

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 15:27:24 +0000

Ed takes you behind the scenes of the new MTV spin-off and visits to Comic-Con to interview this guy who has a body full of Transformer tattoos.

Still Not Two Girls But One Guy …Alone

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:45:08 +0000

The lengths some guys will go to when a certain urge comes over them. Meet a guy who struggles with that. Thanks to “Not Two” guy Oliver Vaquer. See more at www.FifthColumn-Media.com.

Ed-E-torial 22: Paris Hilton says “No more Greeks!”

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:33:15 +0000

Item--(Los Angeles—CA) Paris Hilton told TMZ exclusively that she no longer is just looking for good looking, Greek shipping heirs to “hook-up with”, because according to Hilton, “I already slept with all of them. Isn’t that hot?”

STILL Not Two Girls One Cup But

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:24:34 +0000

Two guys, um...I find this funny. But the phrase “soggy cookie” keeps coming to mind. Does that mean I could be gay? Now REALLY don’t answer that…not that there’s anything wrong with that. Thanks to the "not two guys" Matthew Arkin and Joe Narciso.

Ed-E-torial 21: Wheelchair Bob On Britney Spears, Strippers & Watersports.

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:30:24 +0000

(New York-NY) Thanks for e-maling Wheelchair Bob. We got so many that we decided to give him some special time in this Ed-E-torial.

Ed-E-torial 20: Lindsay Lohan Terror Alert!

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:06:47 +0000

Lindsay Lohan is driving again. Is it bad? Homeland Security had to step in. So you decide. See that and more news on Ed-E-torial 20!

Ed-E-torial 19: One Girl Three Boobs?

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 17:55:02 +0000

We never thought Ed would agree to it, and it’s not like you haven’t e-mailed us about bringing on a younger co-host. So meet Amber Colt.Now, you to decide if Amber should come back or not. Please vote by leaving a comment.

Ed-E-torial 18: Ed Spanks The Monkey While Lindsay Lohan Goes Playstation

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:47:01 +0000

(New York--NY) Call it what you will, spanking the monkey, turning Japanese, choking the chicken or the good old sin of Onan. But Ed puts the question out there: Is internet porn the path to enlightenment?

Ed-E-torial: Rob Zombie Does Shirley MacClaine. Dick Cheney Goes Postal

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:58:52 +0000

(Hollywood - CA) Rob Zombie, fresh off of his Halloween success, will be directing the sequel to Steel Magnolias. After seeing Zombie’s use of horror techniques, Producer Ty Billings approached him about the sequel. Billings explained, “Steel Magnolias has always been one my favorite horror films, especially those scenes with Shirley MacClaine and Olympia Dukakis. And I believe that Zombie can make the Shirley MacClaine even scarier.”

The Best of Ed-E-torial

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:45:16 +0000

Well, we'll be kicking off another season of Ed-E-torial in November,Until then, we thought you might like what we like to call "The Best of Ed-E-torial" Okay, maybe not the best. Let's call is a Pass on the Pass/Fail side. As you can see, our expectations are very high. Until next time... .

Ed-E-torial 1: George Bush Goes Playboy. Karl Rove's Little Secret

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 20:22:01 +0000

FLASH: Karl Rove has a secret, and I'll tell you what it is and a little side of Michael jackson too!

Ed-E-torial 2: Jessica Simpson Blogs. Ken Lay Still Dead.

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 20:13:04 +0000

FLASH: (Los Angeles--CA) Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey will be together again, at least in the wireless blog world. The two former bumpin' buddies are the latest to join Sprint's BlogStar network. Simpson and Lachey join a roster that includes Wesley Snipes, The Game and other celebrities whose careers are flatter than Dick Cheney's EKG.

Ed-E-torial 3: Britney Says, "No anal" Jenna Jameson gets Googled.

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 20:06:24 +0000

FLASH: (Los Angeles—CA) Britney Spears has lost her most searched web status to adult star Jenna Jameson, but she bears no ill-will against the adult star. According to a statement released by Spears' publicist and posted on Jossip.com, Britney said, "I just can't compete. She does anal, and I can't anymore because having Sean Preston gave me hemorrhoids." Kevin Federline was unavailable for comment.

Ed-E-torial 4: Bert & Ernie, Muppets On Brokeback Mountain?

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 16:01:44 +0000

FLASH: Bert and Ernie come out of the closet and Ed-E-torial field correspondent Wheelchair Bobby talks about your reactions.

Ed-E-torial 5: George Bush and Homey Vladimir Putin.& Vioxx Still Kills

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 14:43:26 +0000

FLASH: (Washington, D.C.) President Bush continues his version of the East Coast-West Coast rap Wars of the 19990s with sometime homey, Russian President Vladimir Putin. It appears that Bush is troubled by the vanishing freedom of the Russian people. Said Bush, "I'm concerned about the ability for people in Russia to express their opinion and whether or not dissent is tolerated." Bush then cited his administration's monitoring of US citizen phone conversations, bank accounts and library book selections as an example of protecting freedom because "it's not so much spying as much as it's making sure every viewpoint is recorded."

Ed-E-torial 6: Spongebob Goes To Pot. New Orleans...Borubon & Water Street

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 14:33:54 +0000

FLASH: (Los Angeles—CA) Walt Disney announced that it struck a licensing agreement to have its animated characters on produce and vegetables. “We're doing it predominantly because it is the right thing to do, but secondarily because it is the right business to be in," Harry Dollman, head of food products licensing for Disney, told CNN. However, Dollman would not comment on the pending licensing agreement between Disney and Oregon medical marijuana grower Sam “No Seeds In My Count” Miller for his new line to be called SpongeBong Square Pants.

Ed-E-torial 7: Supermen for the 21st Century

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 18:15:32 +0000

You've met Superhero Pete and some of his other super dudes. Now see the longer interview with them.Can they save us from Evil Bert?

Ed-E-torial 8: John Kerry Milk Carton Candidate

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 17:42:44 +0000

FLASH: (Washington—D.C.) More mid-term election hi-jinks now come out, 2004 face on the milk carton presidential candidate John Kerry sent an e-mail to 100,000 Democrat supporters in which he claimed then GOP Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell, who also acted as President Bush's honorary Ohio campaign co-chairman in the 2004 election, ”used the power of his state office to try to intimidate Ohioans and suppress the Democratic vote." While Kerry did not contest the Ohio results of the election in 2004, many political analysts believe he is doing so now because he is contemplating another run for President in 2008. Kerry answered critics, who claimed this proves he would be a President slow to act due to over analysis and getting bogged down in semantics with, “I’m not so much slow to act as I am not fast.”

Ed-E-torial 9: K-fed Reveals Britney Spears Sex Romp

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 18:36:41 +0000

FLASH: (Los Angeles—CA) Kevin Federline claims to have a four-hour videotape of him and former wife Britney Spears having sex. Four hours? And you divorced him, Britney? A source close to Federline says he may sell the marathon sex romp if his divorce settlement demands aren’t met. The potential price, $65 million. In a related note, a four-hour tape made by former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld of him and George Bush intimately planning the military success in Iraq is being sold by Rumsfeld on eBay for a “Buy It Now” price of 65 cents.

Ed-E-torial 10: MySpace The Place For Convicts

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:57:49 +0000

FLASH: (Houston—Texas) MySpace, formerly known as the place for pedophiles, has a new title, the place for death row inmates. Thirty-four inmates awaiting execution have MySpace profiles. No, make that thirty-three. MySpace Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam responded by saying that the site offers free software to prisons that will block access by inmates so “not one additional dollar would have to be spent by the justice system to keep these individuals out of our community." Nigam went on to say the software combined with MySpace having more bugs in its code than the NSA has on phone lines, “pretty much guarantees by the time Visitors actually get to these profiles the prisoners will all be dead anyway.”

Ed-E-torial 11: Elton John On Religion

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:09:11 +0000

FLASH: (London-England) Sir Elton John made his views clear on religion during a recent interview with The London Observer. "I think religion has always tried to turn hatred toward gay people. The problem is there are so many gay people I know who love their religion, and some of them aren't even priests.”

Ed-E-torial 12: Paris Tackles Lindsay's Ass

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:59:26 +0000

FLASH: (Los Angeles—CA) Paris Hilton is still holding to her celibacy promise. The some time internet sex-e-bitionist announced she will not have sex for one year, except for kissing. Rival quasi celebrity and yet to be YouTube.com sex star, Lindsay Lohan upon hearing the statement was reported by Defamer.com as saying, “Great, then Paris can kiss my ass.” To Lindsay I say, “Nigga, please.” And to Paris, on behalf of all men whether they have a broadband or simple dial-up modem, I offer this little advice in rhyme, “Eatin' ain’t cheatin'. And suckin’ ain’t…you get the idea.”

Ed-E-torial 13: Karl Rove confesses!

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:43:19 +0000

FLASH (Washington, D.C.) Just when you think it’s safe to join the CIA, fresh out of gastric bypass surgery Karl Rove today outed two more CIA agents by the names of Barbara and Laura Bush. Yes, them. In blowing the twins cover as spoiled, drunken, party girls, Rove said, “I can’t bear to see them put in harm’s way. I love them, and I want the whole world to know it.” In a related story, Rove converted to Mormon in the hopes of making the Bush twins his wives. Ah, love!If you'd like to read some of my stories, visit Associated Content.

Ed-E-torial 14: Bourbon & Water Street. Bobby Brown Cracks Up!

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:29:50 +0000

FLASH (Los Angeles—CA) Hip-Hop bad boy and rehab mainstay Bobby Brown seems to be holding true to the cliché that if life hands you lemons, get high. Amid a flurry of controversy and hemp embers, Brown is opening his own chain of restaurants ICHOP – Or to use its full name, the International Crack House of Pancakes. Way to hit the pipe, Bobby.If you'd like to read some of my stories, visit Associated Content.

Ed-E-torial 16: Adopting Machine Angelina Jolie and H'Obama '08

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 19:12:24 +0000

FLASH (Beijing China) Controversy erupted in the foreign adoption community when China attempted to woo Mother Theresa meets Mary Carey adopting machine Angelina Jolie by announcing an “express custom lane at Beijing International Airport for celebrities adopting seven babies or more.” In retaliation, Kenya announced an ad campaign to lure celebrities to its shores to adopt: “Once You Adopt Black. You Never Go Back.” If you'd like to read some of my stories, please visit Associated Content.

Ed-E-torial 15: Paris Hilton Mingles with Seamen

eddruckman@gmail.com (Ed Druckman) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 18:12:44 +0000

FLASH (Norfolk—VA) Paris Hilton was on hand today to Christian a new Atomic Submarine, the USS Paris Hilton. When asked why this honor had been given the desktop wallpaper of countless 13 years olds and their Dads the country over, Secretary of the Navy Donald Winter said, “What better name for something that goes down on command?” Paging, Dr. Freud. Paging, Dr. Freud.