Educating Miss Amber

Around Here

2015-09-07T13:25:00.001-07:00

This summer was for wagon rides, cousin time, and corn on the cob on the grill.

Frogs and toads and flower planting.

Swimming lessons and turtle racing.

Movie watching down on the river, summer reading program super hero costumes, and Darth Vader kite flying.

When You're Not Sure If There Will Be Any More

2015-08-17T20:36:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time I wrote a post on Courtney's blog, in which I stated that I did not really want to have kids spaced much more than three years apart. Three and a half years later, I am still the mother to one rambunctious four year-old. A four year-old who, at one point (around the time Daniel Tiger got a little sister), was borderline obsessed with having a baby in our family. A four year-old who, a year later, still occasionally asks when we'll be getting a baby in our house. And I have to tell him the same thing I tell everyone else who asks about a potential sibling, "If only it were that easy..."

In the years since we had Liam we've dealt with concerns about insurance, maternity leave, and job changes. But in the past year, it seems as though things have settled in to a point where having another should be relatively easy (as if having a newborn is ever easy). In February, Craig accepted a promotion that moved us closer to my family. I accepted a teaching position in a traditional K-12 school, and while teaching is never "just 9 months out of the year," this position would offer me some freedom that my previous teaching position did not. Yet, adding a fourth member to our family has seemed nearly impossible.

For over a year, we've been "not really trying to get pregnant, but also not really doing anything to prevent it," we've experienced the joy of two positive pregnancy tests, and the utter devastation when seemingly "normal" spotting turns into not so normal bleeding. The night before Liam's fourth birthday, we found out about the most recent miscarriage, when an ultrasound revealed "no fetal pole." Devastating.

And I've coped with that devastation in the same way I've coped with every other stressful situation in my life -- by burying myself in textbooks and work and every other random project that will keep my mind off the actual stressful situation.

***

In June I made a much-dreaded appointment with the dentist. He bopped in and said, "We show that you were pregnant during your last visit. So, how's the baby?"

"Um, he's ..."

"Oh, no," I thought. "He's clearly not talking about Liam. Liam's not even a toddler any more."

"Well, actually, I miscarried," I responded.

{silence}

When the dentist left, the hygienist slipped a post-it in my hand. "Here," she said. "It's an organization out of Minnesota. They do great work."

"Thanks," I said, as I buried the post-it deep in my pocket.

***

In my most recent appointment with my OB, I brought up the fact that I had recently read something about Vitamin D and fertility, and well, you know, I've always been concerned about my Vitamin D levels.

Ever so carefully, he let me know that I should indeed be taking a multivitamin that has Vitamin D, among other important nutrients, but, perhaps, before I start trying to get pregnant again, I should make sure and consider my health, including my mental health.

***

That night, I walked into my bedroom to find Liam sneaking out of the bathroom well after his bed time. "Mom," he whispered, "Do you think you could lay with me?" And, in spite of all of my fears of raising a spoiled rotten only child, I put aside whatever else I was working on and said yes.

It's a start.

'Sploring Time

2014-04-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

"Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventure."

-L. Drachman

Cure What Ails You: The Winter Blues

2014-02-06T12:02:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, as Liam and I embarked on yet another cold, icy commute to daycare, I heard the weather man come on the radio and announce that the high for Wednesday was going to be one degree (which, honestly, is better than zero or subzero). I promptly changed the station before they started announcing wind chill temps, and Liam and I car danced to cheesy pop songs the rest of the way into town, with Liam shouting things like, "Arrgh, I'm a biking ship." (I haven't had the heart to tell him that his new winter hat makes him a Viking, not a Viking ship.)

Honestly, I hate February. It's the worst. We are currently on month four of snow and cold and wind, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. Once again, Craig is heading out on recruiting trips every week this month, and let me tell you, I am not looking forward to the 12 day stretch he embarks on at the end of the month. The bright side to this year is that I no longer have to arrive at work before dawn and instead of fighting Liam to wake up, I am now greeted with a Golden Book plastered to my face and a "Hey, Mama, I wanna read Dumbo."

With that being said, I've learned that perhaps the best cure is not lamenting about February days, but rather finding ways to celebrate them (oh my goodness, did I seriously just say that)--dancing in our living room rather than lamenting that we can't go outside on these dark dreary evenings; drinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and super hero sprinkles rather than thinking about how much we miss the local burrito truck; relishing in the fact that I live in a climate where I can "curate a coat wardrobe" ;and devouring those Vitamin D gummies like candy.

A couple of other posts I'm loving about wellness and curing the winter blues: here and here, plus a Cabin Fever Playlist.

One-Liners

2014-01-30T10:55:00.002-08:00

Ninja Turtle bedtime story power. (Thanks to raiding my little brother's book collection a couple of years ago.)

Upon noticing that I was taking a bath to soothe the aches and fever from a nasty cold.
Liam: Hey, Mommy. Wanna play with my Biking ship?

On Poker Night.
Liam: No, Daddy is not playing cards with his friends. He is getting us monies.

Running into the kitchen after playing with his Batcave while wearing his Ninja Turtle jammies.
Liam: To the kitchen power!

To the dog.
Liam: C'mon, Ollis. Let's go play trains.

At 6:30 in the morning.
Liam: It's reading time. Cha, cha, cha.

Fun Finds: A Tribute to the Motherland

2014-01-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

earrings//Viking hat//Uff da! mug
print//Setesdal blanket//Explorer shirt

All told, I'm about 1/2 Norwegian, much like many of my friends growing up in eastern South Dakota. When we moved to the Panhandle of Nebraska, I would let out the occasional "Uff da!," and my friends would look at me like a bit of a crazy person. (You know, like "Uff da!" it's hot outside or "Uff da!" that was heavy.)

Since my sister sent Liam a Viking postcard from her European adventure last fall and subsequently bought him a Viking ship for Christmas, Liam has been a little obsessed with "Bikings." I've been hunting for the perfect Viking helmet, and in the process, I spotted a few other items I would love to add to our collection.

On Leaving Education and Other Random Thoughts

2014-01-21T13:17:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, I ran into a student from my second year of teaching at the mall. As she told me about enrolling in a tribal college to study nursing, I wondered if I would ever experience this in my new profession--running into couples six or seven years after their wedding, having them recognize me, and spend time telling me about their new adventures.

Then a few weeks later, as I was rushing to a lunch meeting at the Alpine, a place that Craig and I occasionally consider for date nights but never make it, I noticed two of my coworkers turning off to the academy where I taught job-readiness classes in the afternoons. I thought, "Haha, suckers. I'm going to lunch at the Alpine." Then I realized that the passenger in the van was Karen, my office mate who had to sub for me when I was gone. That meant that either: a) they hadn't hired a replacement for my position, b) she was still training my replacement, or c) my replacement was already taking a day of leave and she was subbing for him/her. Either way, it also meant that she probably spent her planning period eating lunch or she hadn't eaten lunch at all, and I felt a twinge of guilt spending my afternoon leisurely eating at one of the best restaurants in the Hills followed by a tour of the museum for which we were planning a fundraiser.

In October, The Black Hills experienced one of the worst blizzards on record for the region. I had four weddings scheduled over the weekend. I spent Friday on the phone with brides and grooms making plan b's and c's and Saturday calling them to tell them that those plans would not come into fruition because all of the lodges I work with had lost power. On Saturday afternoon, I got a call from the brother of one of the brides inviting me to the wedding they had planned in less than a day in the town where they had been snowed in. "My mom is pretty fond of you," he said, "She said you really tried to help us out." When I told Craig about it, he said, "See, this job can be pretty rewarding. I know it's not like seeing a kid graduate or get his GED, but we get to put on parties for people and that can be pretty fun."

I haven't decided yet if this is going to be my full-time profession or if it's just my sabbatical, but Craig's right. It can be pretty rewarding (and fun).

Holiday Happenings

2014-01-03T19:23:00.003-08:00

Holiday Express

Santa Claus at Christmas Nights of Light at Storybook Island. Liam walked in and said, "Whoa! Dance party!"

Celebrating Justus + Michaela.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

"Daddy, the ocean is scary. Get me outta here."

The best part of the beach. Clearly.

Santa made it to Florida!

On Cabins and Leather Sofas and Ernest Hemingway

2013-11-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

Clockwise from upper left: 1//2//3//4

In a few weeks Craig and I are going to be moving to a little cabin closer to work. While the home isn't much larger than our current home, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to raise our son in the nation's second largest state park. The trails and free-roaming bison were pretty hard to pass up, and of course, it allows me the opportunity to decorate another home.

As I browse my Pinterest boards, I can't help but notice my affinity for leather sofas. Long before Pinterest, there was Better Homes and Gardens, and I would dutifully peruse my mom's old issues of the magazine when I was in high school and junior high. I distinctly remember seeing an advertisement boasting the Hemingway Collection and vowing that I would one day have that sofa in my home. I have a bit of a sentimental connection to Ernest Hemingway, since the first "adult" book I read was The Old Man and the Sea, and I played Hemingway in a play for Odyssey of the Mind when I was in third grade. (And if my photos weren't all packed up, I would totally put one up here, because let me tell you, my Hemingway was spot on.)

As I approach 30, I'm trying to practice a little more self-restraint and save up money for more long-term pieces, and I feel like a leather sofa would be a good place to start, and while it will probably be several months, possibly years before I have the funds, I can always browse and keep dreaming.

Country Roads + Links for Your Sunday (or Monday)

2013-11-17T18:08:00.000-08:00

Cover Me Up by Jason Isbell on Grooveshark

+I'm looking forward to making this pot roast this week. I started telling Craig about the cloves in the onion trick, and he said, "Yeah, that's a classic French technique." So, yeah, I'm using a classic French technique this week. If that doesn't say anything about my level of culinary sophistication, I don't know what does.

+I love seeing other people's photos of my home state. Their perspectives are always interesting, and I love playing the "guess where that photo was taken" game.

+Speaking of my home state, a few items on my wish list boasting some home state love: here, here, and here.

+After a pretty stellar day at the thrift store--a pair of trouser jeans, no alterations needed for $4, and a soft old man sweatshirt for $1.50, I've added a few items to my thrift store wish list: elbow patches, the perfect tweed blazer, and a black and white Fair Isle sweater.

+I loved this. It made me wonder what item I'd put on the list--possibly my green leather purse.

+Alison Winn Scotch's blog on Parents.com was one of the first "mom blogs" I ever read. Even though it's no longer active, I still follow her on twitter and have enjoyed reading about her foray into self-publishing.

Photos taken during a trip home for my niece's birthday last month.

Read, Reading, To Read

2013-11-07T09:19:00.000-08:00

Read

The Panopticon

Orange is the New Black

I put both of these books on my to read list after hearing about them on NPR. I loved the prose in The Panopticon and loved the spunk of the character Anais Hendricks. Once I started reading it, it was hard to put down. Once I finished, I decided it was time to pick up Orange is the New Black. I'm not sure what rock I was hiding under, but I had no idea that the Netflix series Orange is the New Black was based on Piper Kerman's memoir. After listening to an interview with Piper, I decided to grab the book and check it out. Normally, I'm a big fan of nonfiction, and I enjoyed both books, but if I had to recommend one over the other, I'd definitely choose The Panopticon.

Reading

Allegiant

Like many people I got sucked into this series a few months ago, and decided I needed to finish it out. As Liam and I were laying in bed "reading" last night, he rolled over and said, "Mom, you got dragon book, too?" Not quite, Liam, not quite. P.S. He was browsing this book, one of his favorites.

To Read

The Rules of Inheritance

Carry On, Warrior

Let's Go Roll Out

2013-10-31T21:29:00.002-07:00

This was the first Halloween that Liam was truly excited. When I pulled out his Optimus Prime costume for the first time since buying it for under $2 at Target on November 1st last year, he said "Dat's awesome!" You know what's even more exciting than dressing up as Optimus Prime for Halloween? Checking out all of the other super heroes downtown. "Whoa, Mommy, Spiderman!" "Hey, it's Batman! Na na na...Batman!"

The merchants in our town go all out. "Real" candy store candy bagged up, a haunted house filled with cupcakes and homemade truffles. It definitely made for a great Halloween. (I'm also looking forward to "rationing" all of the treats.)

Interview With an Almost Two and a Half Year Old

2013-10-17T18:05:00.002-07:00

A few months ago, we moved Liam to a toddler bed. He wasn't making the leaps over the side of the crib that I've heard other moms talk about, but he was becoming skilled at scaling up his changing table, over to his crib and vice versa. After a horrible first night of crying and rushing to the door as soon as we tucked him in, Craig and I made the decision that it was better for one of us to lay on Liam's floor until he fell asleep rather than having him climb into bed with us each time he got scared. A few nights ago, I had forgotten to say, "I love you," after tucking him in, so as he was falling asleep, Liam rolled over and sighed, "Mommy, I love you, too."

When Liam was a baby, my only wish was that he could communicate with me better--tell me what he needs. Two years later communication is still pretty tough. When he's clearly lethargic and feverish, and I ask him what's wrong, he says, "finger hurts," and when he's clearly not lethargic or feverish and is eating everything in sight, he stops to tell me, "Mommy, tummy hurts," and even though he pretty much refuses to use the bathroom, he insists on wearing the name brand Monsters, Inc. Pull-Ups because, "they like undies, Mom." But, those little "I love yous" make it all worth it.

Oh, and little moments like this, when it's raining and cold and we have nothing better to do than record a little interview on laundry day. They're worth it, too.

Before the Storm

2013-10-12T10:53:00.001-07:00

Before last week's blizzard hit, I decided to take Liam out for a quick fall photo shoot. We spent some time tossing leaves around and jumping on little leaf piles. It was a good thing, too, because just a few days later we found ourselves snowed in for close to three days.

We count ourselves lucky. We *only* ended up with 18 inches, and we never lost power. You may have seen this. This is a great follow-up piece to address some of the comments posted in response to that article.

P.S. It's been in the 60s almost all week, so most of those leaves are visible again. We may have to trek out for some fall fun again today.

Fun Finds: Wild & Free

2013-10-01T20:40:00.002-07:00

scarf-vintage book-mountain pillow
notes from camp stationery set-binoculars-mountain love print
take a hike-wild and free-smokey tee

Foggy Friday + Some Links for Your Weekend

2013-09-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was one of those crisp, cool days that only occurs to remind you that it's almost fall. After work, I decided to take Liam out to hear the elk bugle. Unfortunately, I am a terrible elk hunter and am by no means patient enough to wait until they decide to start bugling, so we decided to explore a few country roads instead.

At the conclusion of our drive, we decided to stop in at the lodge to visit Craig. As I walked up to the lodge, I could smell the smoke billowing out of the chimney, and we walked in to hear the sound of guests playing music around the fireplace. Liam, ever the little politician, greeted each and every one of them, and as we left for the night, they stopped him to say, "Good night, Batman." I know I'm just saying this because I'm his mom, but he's a charmer.

+++

And, because no weekend post is complete without a few links:

+I heard this on my way to work one morning as I was passing a huge bison bull. Kind of interesting.

+ We've been stocking up on fall and winter clothes around here, and Twice and ThreadUp have been our largest suppliers. (P.S. You should know those are both referral links.)

+Had lunch with a client earlier this week and enjoyed the most delicious bowl of sweet potato curry soup that I'd like to recreate. I'm thinking of giving this recipe a try.

+I've been loving Jason Isbell's new album. So many great songs.

+Have you seen the Penguin Chalkboard Classics? Liam and I picked up Peter Pan at our favorite book store the other day, and I'm hoping to add The Wizard of Oz in the near future.

Conversations with Liam

2013-09-19T20:52:00.001-07:00

(As we're driving past Mt. Rushmore)

Me: Hey Liam, did you see the presidents?
Liam: Huh?
Me: The presidents. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln.
Liam: Thomas?
Me: Yeah. Thomas Jefferson. He was a president.
Liam: Thomas the Train. President.

Only in Liam's perfect world.

Me: Liam, are you going to give mama a kiss?
Liam: Uh. Uh.
Me: How about a hug?
Liam: How 'bout five? (Gives me a five.)

Always making his mama feel loved.

Tales of a Toddler Mom

2013-08-21T19:25:00.000-07:00

'Cepticons

Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime have been carefully perched on Liam's dresser for weeks now. That is, until I made the mistake of trying to pee peacefully one night. Suddenly, Liam burst through the door, Optimus Prime in one hand and Bumble Bee in the other, proclaiming, "Oh no, Mommy, 'cepticons!"

Bedtime Routine

Liam started sleeping through the night when he was two months old. ((ducks)) There was no bedtime routine. I swaddled him. He slept. End of story. He didn't cry it out, we didn't try any crazy tricks. He just slept.

Then two happened. Followed by a toddler bed. Now, our bedtime routine consists of the following:

-We spend at least three minutes trying to decide between truck jammies and Batman jammies.
- We read no fewer than five books, including at least three from his Llama Llama collection. (The kid knows his mama's a sucker for books.)
-We make the occasional frantic phone call to Craig, "Where's Diesel? Liam won't go to bed without Diesel..."
-We locate Diesel (the latest addition to Liam's Thomas the Train collection).
-I tuck him in "snug as a bug in a rug."
-I attempt to sneak out of his room.
-I am stopped in my tracks. "Mama! Lay down!"
-I prop my head on a giant stuffed elephant as Liam recites the sound of every animal and/or vehicle he can think of. I begin to doze off.
-I notice Liam's beginning to doze off, too.
-I attempt to sneak out of his room.
-I am stopped in my tracks. "Mama! Lay down elephant!"
-I lay my head on a giant elephant while Liam plays with Diesel and Harold the helicopter.
-I notice he's asleep.
-I attempt to sneak out of his room. Success!
-I hop in the shower. I step out and begin to dry myself off only to be greeted with, "Hey Mommy, I waked up!"

Being a Mom/Wife to a Super Hero Fan is Hard Work

Me (smugly): Liam and I got a pair of super hero sheets off the clearance rack at the consignment store today.
Craig: Marvel or DC?
Me: I don't know. They had Spiderman and The Hulk and Thor on them.
Craig: Marvel. Ugh.

It only gets nerdier from here, you guys.

Two Wheelin'

2013-08-19T20:37:00.001-07:00

A few days before Liam's second birthday, I arrived home to find a Walmart shipment packed with a Batman Big Wheel sitting on our doorstep, a gift from Craig's friend Steve. For awhile, I thought it was silly to buy Liam another bike, even though his feet still don't touch the pedals. Then on the Fourth of July, I arrived at the kids parade, and saw kids younger than Liam cruising around on their Strider bikes without a care in the world, and I was hooked. So, a couple of weeks ago, we ventured out to a bike shop to purchase a shiny new "Orange Bike," and I haven't looked back.

Little known fact: Strider bikes were developed by a guy in our hometown. It doesn't get much more local than that.

A Confession + A Video

2013-08-02T20:24:00.001-07:00

I quit my job.

Corrections education, while incredibly rewarding, is also draining at times. There's a great deal of staff turnover, which can be frustrating for both students and staff. While I thought I didn't want to contribute to that, a few changes over the past year made me realize it was time to move on.

Initially, I started an online master's program through a university in our region, and I had every intention of continuing to work while pursuing that degree; however, online education just wasn't the same for me. I'm a very auditory learner. I thrive from attending lectures and taking notes and participating in class discussions. And, then, there's this. (It's just an abstract, but you get the gist.) A master's program is a huge investment, and I was left wondering if there would be a return on that investment.

So, I started applying (ever so slowly), to a couple of jobs outside of education. In the weeks before I applied for an event planning position at the company where Craig works, I first heard this podcast where Jason Pittman talks about his reasons for leaving education (it's toward the end) and this podcast where Sarah Brysk Cohen talks about her transition from social work to floral design. I know it sounds silly, but I'm a firm believer in signs and in the fact that sometimes things just work out, so when I was offered the position, I decided it was the right thing to do for me and for my family.

Telling the girls was incredibly difficult. A few of them were upset, but pretty soon one of them piped up, "Hey, can we watch that video one more time before you leave." I love this video. It makes me smile and produces the occasional snort-laugh. It also reminds me that we create our own happiness.

Fun Finds

2013-07-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

watch//listen//wear//read//refresh

It's a Zoo Out There

2013-07-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night, I ventured down to Lincoln with two two year-olds to visit Aunt Mic. We decided to hit up the Henry Doorly Zoo on Friday. While it got a little iffy there for a while, with lots of Liam, can we shares, it turned out to be a pretty good day. When Craig asked Liam what he saw at the zoo, his first response was, "A turtle!" I think Harlee's favorite part was the tigers, even though they were kind of sleepy. (Also, thanks to Aunt Mic for hosting us and for providing some much needed adult interaction on the ride home.)

A Room Fit for an Explorer: Details

2013-07-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly four months since Liam moved into his explorer room, yet I keep putting this post off in the hopes of finishing a few projects. While it's not done and I fear it will always be a work in progress, art has been hung, the major furniture pieces have been moved in, and Liam has settled in well.

Sources

Gallery Wall

Ship Print, Vintage Maps, and German License Plate: local consignment store

Ideal Bookshelf Print: from 20 x 200 when I was pregnant, but it can be found here now

Giraffe Print

King of All Wild Things Print

Love You to the Moon and Back Card

Dresser

A to Z Bookends: clearance rack at a local shop while I was pregnant

Golden Books: collected from thrift stores, my collection as a child, and antique shops

Dresser: my childhood dresser

Jack Doorstop

My Roots Lie Here Print: from Zulily last winter, but it can also be found here

Crib

Star Quilt: gift

Liam the Brave sheet: from this store last year, but it can also be found here

Map: free in a National Geographic magazine

National Parks Poster

Toy Area

Globe, Bead Maze, andVintage Blocks: local consignment store

Liam Puzzle

Sock Monkey Jack in the Box: from a local toy store, but it can also be found here

Fun Finds: Where the Buffalo Roam

2013-07-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

dress-onesie-puzzle-print-shoes

June

2013-07-01T19:27:00.002-07:00

June was for long hikes, goofing around, estate sale shopping, fishy watching, scraped knees, gift giving, bubble chasing, art supply organizing, and drive-in movies that lasted into July. Not pictured: ice cream making, listening to ukulele strumming around the fire pit, and rodeo cheering.

It's only looking up from here with fireworks and Grandma and Grandpa visits and zoo exploring on the horizon.